Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back if He’s Moved On

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When a relationship fails, there is usually a period of uncertainty for both parties. Neither may have a clear picture of what their next move is going to be. The paths that your ex-boyfriend can choose are many. Sometimes, he will opt to be single, for a while. Either to help himself start a new chapter in his life or to simply focus on other things besides women. While other times, he may chase a series of hookups, to either explore new possibilities or to aid in getting through the loneliness post breakup. However, there are also cases in which a guy, will get himself into another serious relationship. Even right after he just go out of one, or he wants nothing more to do with his ex-girlfriend, and just wants to get on with his life.

 

Has He Really Moved On?

For that last batch of scenarios, it can be quite a challenge to attempt to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.  A lot of the time, it is more trouble to try, than it is worth. When someone truly makes a concrete decision to move forward from a relationship, it tends to be a thing of certainty, and if he really believes in his decision there can be few things to do that can actually change his mind.

There needs to be a time, that you accept the fact, that he may actually be gone for good. Depending on what stage he’s gotten to in his moving on process, it may be likely that he is. Regardless of whether the relationship can be fixed or not, it is best to at least prepare oneself mentally, for the chance that reconciliation will not take place.

Often times people need a reality check after a break up happens. It is essential to your well-being and future plans, that you cut out the idea in your head,that if you can only fix a few things then the relationship will magically be all good again. If the two of you broke up, there were definite problems, it’s really that basic.

Things will not be the same if you get back together with him and if your thought patterns currently reflect this, you should recognize this as a form of hopeful delusion. Things will not be the same as they were, even if you are able to pull him back with you, there has to be a rebirth of sorts, so that a new relationship can be forged from the shell of the old one. It is just a fact of life that things change, people change, and relationships fail. If your ex-boyfriend seems to be moving on with his life, you should also try to do the same or at the very least learn to be happy with yourself on your own.

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On your end, getting on from the break up means accepting your life situation as it is now and figuring out how to be content or happy by yourself. Get past the pangs of loneliness and explore personal growth, so that in time, you can make a good and logical decision about what option you want to pursue…either getting him back or going a different direction in your life.

In the malaise and confusion of the post-breakup period, dependent and almost addictive feelings can emerge towards your former lover. Having these feelings and trying to rid yourself of them is not a valid excuse for getting back together with your now ex. That is just trying to solve emotional dependency by any means necessary.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

I know that after a split, there is can be a lot of uncertainty and fear. This can be quite intense when you see your ex-boyfriend moving on and you are still hoping that he will come back every singly day and you haven’t done much with yourself since he has been gone. Sometimes, you can feel like if you fail to get back together with your ex, that you will end up alone. That isn’t necessarily true and the future has not yet been written. There are always more guys out there, and yes, some that are better fits than he was for you. However, you also need to develop the skills to be strong enough and be happy on your own. You can’t just be forever stuck in the past, imagining a life with someone who may not even be interested in you any more.

This ex-boyfriend of yours might be together now with another girl and you feel like you want to get him back because you have some fear that this new girl might be a better match for him than you are. What these types of feelings and notions really are, is your egoic self rearing its ugly head. These feelings rise up when one cannot accept change and the cycles of life, you feel as if you’ve lost and perhaps your value as a woman has been lowered. This can turn into a quest to get your ex back (whether that is a good idea or not) because it feels like your self-worth is being determined by whether or not you can get this person to love you once again. Don’t let these thoughts turn you into a petty and desperate person, who tries to stir up jealousy and break him up with his current girlfriend. If you are at this stage, you have not yet accepted yourself, and you cannot be in a healthy relationship until you are happy with who you are and accept yourself fully.

Ask yourself what has changed to make this relationship work now? Like if a magical spell allowed you and your ex to be back together in an instant, what would allow things to work out now? Have any of the problems of the relationship been figured out to the point that things will run relatively smoothly? If you do not really understand the underlying issues of that relationship and can’t really think of ways things could be improved then what exactly are you chasing after? Chasing a guy simply because you feel lonely is a recipe for disaster because even if you get him back, how long is it going to last? How healthy of a relationship is it going to be? Is it just a complete waste of both of your time, to try and pursue something that may not even work out at all.

If you still really want him back…

There are some girls who have actually been through the whole process of healing and growing as a person and still feel that they want their ex-boyfriend back in their lives. If that is the case and you feel like you’re in a really good spot emotionally and in your life then you may consider using a program to help you get things going again with your ex.

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Can I Get My Ex-Girlfriend to Come Back to Me?

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The nature’s of men and women are obviously very different from one another. Men, we hardly think we can ever lose and even if we do lose, we are a big believer in the come back. Sure, I’m down 20k in blackjack but I know I can come back and at least break even! It is our competitive ways and our ego, which often times, won’t let us accept the reality of our situation. We don’t know when to throw in the towel. This phenomenon is especially common in our post-breakup lives, where we just know that we can get our ex-girlfriends back, if we just try hard enough…after all we’re so awesome, right?

The truth of the matter is, many broken relationships stay broken and there is never any reconciliation of note. Other relationships, will be mended back together and falter soon thereafter because either the underlying issues which caused the breakup were never addressed or the attraction simply isn’t there anymore.

It happens that way, things change, and so do people. Recognize that the path she was on when she met you, may not be the one she is currently walking down. If that’s the case, learn to accept it and move on.

What if I still Want Her to Come Back?

But what if I still want my ex back? Well, we mostly all want something good we once had but ultimately lost. This can stem from nostalgia, loneliness, bitterness, or even the belief that she is truly the one you want to be with.

In this moment in time, that last one may be entirely true for you. However, the final question will be can you actually get your ex-girl to get back together with you? (The first question is a matter of clearing your head, gathering perspective, and deciding whether or not you truly want to get back with her)

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Were the Causes?

In order to answer the question of can you get her back, you must clear define for your situation, what the causes were that drove her away from you?

  • Did you Cheat? Did She? (If she did, dude…give it up and move on)
  • Did one of you want a deeper commitment that the other didn’t?
  • Did you grow too far apart?
  • Did you fight all of the time?

The list can go on and on, with possibilities, but the important thing is to find out the right questions and answers for your specific situation. I know that sometimes a break up can blindside us…you didn’t think that she wanted to leave you, suddenly and out of the blue, she did.

The reality is that there were indeed specific reasons (that maybe you didn’t notice or even pick up on) but they were nonetheless there. Women rarely just suddenly break up with someone, it’s usually a long-time coming, so they can have a clean exit strategy.

If you can figure out some answers and truths about your circumstances, then you can make a rational assessment, of whether or not you can get your ex-girlfriend to come around and reconsider.

For example, if you cheated, then it is probably over. That’s not a guarantee, but there are many people who will refuse to accept cheating, on any grounds. They will never let go of those feelings of betrayal, so, it’s often best just to move on.

There are other circumstances that can be remedied but will require changes to be made on your part. Brainstorm ideas about what you can do to be a better partner and how the relationship can be altered for the better.

 

Has What’s Changed Deviated too Far?

Different breakups obviously have differing causes. Sometimes, it’s caused by minor or easily solvable problems. There are points in time in relationships (even long-term ones) where break ups may occur but it’s usually a short-lived time apart from one another.

Other times, there are complete and wholesale shifts in the relationship or within one of the partner’s lives that shakes things up beyond repair. This can stem from a violation of trust or even wanting other things for their future. It may be that you aren’t ready to commit, but your ex-girlfriend wants someone, who is serious about getting married in the near future or vice-versa.

In these sorts of situations, a relationship may have grown beyond its original intentions and it is probably best for the two people to go their separate ways.

A lot of relationships, seem to start as just fooling around or as hook-ups, that then generally got more serious and intense. Eventually, if these more intense relationships weren’t built off of genuine attraction, love, and commonalities of purpose, then the foundation of the relationship is shaky at best and will probably fail.

In short, if the two of you are on different pages completely as to what you currently want for your lives and your futures, then it is going to be much more difficult to have a long-term reconciliation.

What Can You Improve On?

No matter what your situation in life, one should always strive to get better in all aspects of it. Improvement of your looks, lifestyle, mental/emotional state, and more can have a profound impact on the type and number of women that you attract in your life (even your ex).

Now, saying all of this, it doesn’t mean that if you get yourself in shape that you will get her back…BUT…improvements in all facets of your life will definitely improve your odds to add to your attractiveness and to show that you are serious about changing for the better.

After a breakup, there is a tendency for people to compare their situations to that of their ex. Women tend to notice a lot when a man makes a lot of positive changes in his life. It shows that he isn’t wallowing in despair because she left, that he has ambition and confidence, and that he is ready to move forward with or without his ex-girlfriend.

Making these sorts of changes is ultimately the best course of action to take, as, even if she doesn’t come back there will be plenty of other women clamoring for a chance if you dramatically improve yourself.

The bottom line is, yes, it is possible to get your ex-girlfriend back. However, it is not a guarantee. The best a man can do is weight the odds, take a chance, and see what the future holds.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How To Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back If She’s Moved On

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There are many different circumstances, one could find themselves in, following the demise of a relationship. Sometimes, your ex-girlfriend is still single for a long period of time after the break up. Maybe, she has gone through a series of rebounds, that weren’t very serious. Other times, a serious relationship may follow another, to simply divest themselves emotionally from the previous one and want to move on with their lives. There are a lot of ways people ‘move on’ from a break up either alone or with other people. But how does one get an old girlfriend back, when she has decided to go forward with her life?

 

Assessing the Situation

Different folks have different levels of commitment to their decisions in life. For some, deciding that they’re done with a relationship is a finality. They make up their minds and it’s over completely. For others, their mind wavers, they can’t seem to let go of the past or questioning whether or not they’re making a poor decision.

It is because of these varying personalities and levels of commitment, that a wide variety of potential outcomes exist when trying to get together with an ex-girlfriend.

Also, there is the variable of whether or not she is single, in a relationship currently, or dating multiple guys casually. All of which presents its own set of problems and limitations.

In the situation where she is currently in a relationship, it can be extremely difficult to try to get back together with an ex, and most of the time simply not even worth trying to do. I mean, you have to both hope that her relationship ends, and that she’d even want to get back with you. Both variables are outside of your control.

When she moves on, it can be a definite thing, and once she’s confident in her decision, there is very little that you can say or do to help to change her mind. The reality of the situation is that she may indeed be gone for good, and if it has gotten to this point, that it is very likely that she is.

It is important that you start to see things how they really are. Stop the notions in your head that everything will all be fixed, if you just do one or two things, to make the relationship happen again. If you’re relationship has ended, then it definitely had problems, simple as that.

Thinking that things will be the same if you were to get back together is a form of delusion on your part. Even if you were to get back together with her, things wouldn’t be the same, the relationship would have to evolve into a new form in order to have a chance of succeeding.

Things change and people do too. If she has changed enough to move on from the relationship, then that is a good sign that you should probably do the same. At least enough to learn how to live on your own again, before trying to jump start the failed relationship.

make dem changes

Moving on, for your part, means learning to accept things as they are now and to learn to be happy on your own. Learn to cope with the loneliness and figure out ways to grow as a person, so that you can make a sound decision about what route you want to follow, either moving on completely or actually trying to make things work with her.

These addictive feelings you may have for her are not healthy, and are not a valid reason, to try and get back together. They are simply a form of dependency.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

How to Pursue a Reconciliation

There is a great deal of fear and uncertainty following a break up. This can be especially true, if you see your ex-girlfriend moving on, while you are still pining for her everyday. It feels like you haven’t really done anything with your life since she left.

There may be a fear that if you do not get her back that you will end up alone. That doesn’t have to be the case, there are plenty of other girls out there who are available, but you also need to be strong enough to learn how to be happy on your own.

Learn not to be stuck in the past, or chasing after your ex, who may no longer be interested in you.

 

Acceptance of the Outcome

Whether or not she ever gets back together with you, there needs to be an acceptance to move on with your own life, regardless of the outcome. If she comes back, cool. If not, also fine. Life can’t stop moving forward, just because one person, no longer wants the same relationship that they did before.

This is the first step towards getting past any break up. Plus, any reconciliation that takes place is basically a new relationship, and the old baggage needs to be left behind.

 

No Contact and Focus on The Self

In order to get back together with someone, you have to be able to re-attract them. This can be super hard to do and doesn’t always work…which is why we need to accept the outcome. However, one is definitely not going to appear attractive to another person, by constantly calling, texting, and begging for them back.

For this reason, a period of No Contact must be applied before trying to get back with someone. Now, you may already be in this stage, fine. Though, for guys who are still trying to convince their ex to come back, you should take a break. Desperation isn’t attractive.

People don’t like to be told what to do directly. They want to be able to come to a decision on their own, without negative influence. So, if she’s currently single, trying to convince her to get back together with you is going to be an uphill battle. She needs good reasons, that she arrives at on her own, not a daily sales pitch from you.

Time apart is necessary for healing to begin. If the relationship ended poorly, then, there’s going to need to be some time during which both parties can be on their own and get themselves in a better mental state.

Take the time during No Contact to focus on improving yourself. Focus on your faults that caused relationship friction. Get your life figured out and what you want from it. What are your goals as an individual, independent from her or any other woman you may meet?

 

Letting Go of Negative Thoughts if She’s Seeing Someone

Your ex may now be seeing another guy and you want to win her over to you because you have some fear that he may be a better man than you. A lot of this kind of stuff is simply ego. It comes with not being able to accept life and the changes that come along with it, you can’t stand losing because you perceive that your value as a man is lowered.

Basically equating getting your ex-girlfriend back with proving your self worth. This is a very unhealthy way to look at things and can lead you to do things such as meddling in her current relationship or trying to drive a wedge between them. Stop being desperate. Learn to be on your own and be happy on your own before deciding if you should try to spark things anew with her.

One question you definitely need to answer before deciding if you want to get back together with an ex is, what has really changed? If you and her were to get back together today, why would it work out this time? What has been resolved in the underlying issues of the relationship?

If the answer is not much in the way of positive changes, then you’re chasing a false dream. Going back to a girl simply because you now miss her, because she is seeing someone else, or your options are limited; is pretty damn lazy and a waste of time. The two of you may be on completely divergent paths now and going back simply is not an option for you. Most relationships don’t work out for the rest of your life, but each one is helpful in learning from and applying those lessons to future relationships with women.

If You Really Still Want Her Back…

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Her Back if She Hates You?

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Sometimes, after the demise of a relationship, things aren’t too bad between the former lovers and there is more clarity about reconciliation or simply moving on because emotions aren’t quite as intense and rationality is more prevalent. However, there are other breakup situations in which one partner still wants his ex back while the other seems to have an intense dislike or yes, even hatred towards that person. Now, this ‘hate’ may be real and one that lasts or it may be a short-term reaction to something that you did or towards the end of the partnership. What can a guy do if his ex-girlfriend really dislikes him?

 

Give Her Time To Cool Off

In the middle of circumstances, emotions are running red hot and things are said, that might not be meant in the long-term. Our present lives are almost always paramount to things that happened years ago.

I bet we can all think back in our lives to things that really upset us in that time period. Though, now we are either indifferent towards them or simply laugh that we once cared that much.

This type of thing happens quite a lot in relationships, or when they end, because we kind of become addicted to that other person. Addicted to their presence, love, attention, etc.

These emotions can of course be intensified when the person we are upset at continuously shows up. Or interferes with our lives, instead of just letting us have time to reflect and cool off.

Time to cool, might be a while

Your now, ex-girlfriend or wife, is probably pretty pissed at you…to the point you had to search out an article on how to deal with her hatred. So, to start with you are already at a great disadvantage in terms of an attempt to win her back.

In order to try to get out of such a predicament, one must assess the likelihood of turning her feelings back. She needs to feel something positive towards you and the first step is letting her have time.

Going no-contact is a popular method for dealing with breakups, and for good reason, it lets emotions settle down among both parties. Even though your impulse is to try to talk, reason with her, beg, apologize, and the like…it is actually the wrong course of action to take.

First of all, the two of you need to think about your own lives, and the very real possibility that the relationship is indeed over for good. Secondly, the constant calling and texting, will make you seem desperate and even if you are, it makes you even more unattractive or annoying in her eyes.

Let her have space and let yourself have some too. You need time apart from one another, as it lets things calm down and become more rational. This time can be a very lonely and trying experience and the urge to contact her must be resisted for at least a month or two.

During this time period, you should work on all aspects of your life and figure out if you should move on from her and start dating other girls (if need be). If you are honest with yourself, in most situations, the best move will be to learn to let her go and chart a new path for your romantic life.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Think About What You Did to Piss Her Off So Much

Okay, so this lady may or may not actually hate you. Either way, what did you do to get her in this state?

If you cheated on her, then this only adds another layer of complexity, and  further lowers your chance of getting her back. Many people are not forgiving of a transgression such as that, and even if they do take you back, the dynamic of trust in the relationship is shattered. The couple will then, need to work extensively to move past it, as an obstacle.

Whatever it is that you have done to anger her, think about what it is, why you did it, if it’s a behavior that you seem to repeat often, and why you haven’t changed this behavior.

Is this something that you can improve upon or even change completely? If you were caught with another girl, are you really ready to give up other women in your life for good?

If not, you may not be ready for a long-term committed relationship…which is fine. At least be honest with yourself, that you would really rather hookup with a bunch of women, versus being exclusive with her. Don’t simply fall into an emotional space and demand to get her back, because your ego is hurt that she’s gone.

What are these things that you need to fix in order for her to take you seriously in the future? Figure it out and come up with a plan on how you are going to remedy these issues.

It gets lonely sometimes

Figure Out If She Really Does Hate You

After a time apart from one another, she may have softened enough to be willing to talk to you and interact further. On the other hand, she may want nothing to do with you and is moving on with her life.

If that’s the case, it is a really good idea to respect her wishes and simply let her do what she wants. You cannot force someone to like you, and trying to keep up a pursuit of reconciliation, just becomes pathetic at some point. People tend to just get stuck in the past, instead of charting, a better future.

However, after a period of no contact, it may still be uncertain to you whether she will be receptive or not to accepting you back into her life. Here is a post about signs that your ex may want you back.  At this stage, you may have come to the conclusion that you do indeed want to try and restart a dialogue with her.

The dialogue can usually be started through text message, just to feel out how she perceives you at this point in time. She may not respond or give short and terse answers. A reply is better than no answer at all. From there, it is a progression of getting her to talk to you more often, hashing things out, and agreeing to meeting up with you.

 

What’s the first move?

If the goal is to get back together with an ex, then obviously contact with them, must be had in order to move forward. Luckily, thanks to the power of technology, the barriers to entry are much lower. We no longer have to call and pray for an answer or try to randomly arrange a meeting with a go between.

Now, cell phones have given us the ability to send text messages. Why is this a good thing? You have all the time to craft the right message. They have all the time to respond. Maybe they don’t want to right away, but maybe they will later. It requires little effort and there’s no face to face meeting, right off the bat. Sounds pretty ideal.

 

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships. How he uses it in his program:

Hopefully, you downloaded the free reports from earlier in the post, explaining what not to text an ex when trying to get back with them. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as a basic introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. It is easily downloadable and available almost instantly, no waiting for shipping.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Should You Try to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back from Her New Boyfriend?

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There seems to be a definite abundance of cases in which guys still want their ex-girlfriends back…even when she is now with another guy. I mean, she has a new boyfriend, has seemingly move on with this relationship, and you still want her back? Hmmm, that’s a hard one to pull off and one in all honesty, may not be worth the price of admission, so to speak. The name of this website is exbackormoveon.com and the real question that people need to seriously ask themselves is built into the title, should you try to get your ex back or should you just simply move on with your life?

 

Let’s Consider the Moving On First

Honestly, the best answer for your future and well-being, is probably the one you don’t want to hear in the moment. The fact of the matter is, if your ex-girl is now in a relationship with another guy, you should be making preparations to move on with your own dating life. Whether or not, you ever do get back together, you should mentally prepare yourself to push forward with your own life independent from her.

Forgetting about someone is definitely tough and the loneliness is downright awful at times. However, it is simply in the nature of things that new relationships occur, mature, and indeed ultimately perish. There is no good reason that you should be wasting your  years hoping for someone that might be gone for good…not to say that it can’t happen again with them. Only that, now isn’t that time, and that you should be building a quality life for yourself regardless if they come back to you or not.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Not To Do and What To Do whether Moving On or Not

What is certain about such a situation is that chasing after the girl, obsessing, and making bold declarations of love is not the path to take. It only serves to make a man look desperate (which is inherently unattractive) and will most likely repel them further away from you.

Taking the opposite tact and focusing on improving your own life and allowing new girls to flow into it is the best course of action to take? Why? Well, not only will it help you cope and move on without her, it will also raise your perceived value. So, on the off chance in the future your ex-girlfriend wants you back she will see that you can indeed survive and thrive without her.

Stagnation and obsession are not attractive qualities. In order to get any woman, even one who already knows you, she has to believe that you’re her best option for getting what she wants. If that’s a successful relationship, she’s probably not going to want to run back to a failed one, when absolutely nothing has changed and feelings have soured toward one another.

Also, you cannot give a damn about the other guy. Her new boyfriend IS her boyfriend now, not you, so talking shit about him or sweating their relationship isn’t going to make her be a big fan of yours. He is her preferred choice, at the moment, and if you try to force her hand (to break up with him), she’s going to stay with him (and probably be that much more committed).

A lot of this is outside of your control, as you’re dealing with two external variables (your ex and the new man), but what you have control over is you. You can control what smart things you do and what things you shouldn’t do to further mess up any potential chance at reconciliation.

Understand, that it can often take a long time for an ex-girl to even want to come back to you and at that point, it might be you who wants nothing to do with them. I’ve had exes contact me 4-5 years after the fact. As if, time had stood still for me, and that I would even be interested in rehashing such an old relationship.

Sure, her current relationship with another guy could be one that isn’t very serious and if it doesn’t work out she could come back and start sniffing around to rekindle your relationship…but you can’t bank on that, so it makes sense to prep for the more likely scenario.

How to Handle the Thoughts of Her Sleeping with a New Guy?

This is where a lot of men mess up, I think. They can handle not being desperate or texting her all of the time or whatever, in normal circumstances. However, once the thoughts of her having sex with the new boyfriend start creeping in his mind, that’s when everything comes off of the rails and he’s back to acting desperate.

I’ve written a whole post, How to Handle an Ex-Girlfriend Sleeping with Other Men, so I won’t rehash everything here. Suffice to say, the road to acceptance, if a huge part of being able to have any sort of future with this girl. Even if she comes back, you cannot have these thoughts derailing you, when trying to start a new relationship together.

More importantly now, these type of negative thought patterns can stir up anger and other emotions, that aren’t going to be a help to what you want to accomplish. You have to be able to keep your cool, through this process, and accept whatever outcome results.

 

Taking Time Away

In this situation, there is already an established time apart from one another, that was put in place by her. She has a new boyfriend and therefore cannot be talking to her ex, constantly. From the other side of things, you need to follow that lead, and do a period of No Contact with her. It’s pretty easy to enforce, just stop badgering her.

But won’t she forget about me? Won’t that push her to the other guy more? Again, we can only control our variables, and not what she is doing. If we try to interfere with her decisions, she’ll likely just get pushed further from wanting anything to do with you. There is also no guarantee that she’ll feel closer to that guy in a month or two. He might actually suck. Though, maybe he’s an awesome match for her.

That’s another thing outside of our control, but there are plenty of times, when people get into relationships with people who turn out to be less than expected. A quick period of being super into them, and then experiencing what they’re actually like, which can create disillusionment.

She might dump him or he might dump her. We don’t have any clear insight into their intentions, so biding time, is the best strategy.

Anyhow, the time apart is important. It’ll give you clarity about your future, the intense emotions calm down, and you can make yourself a better man. All of which is a prerequisite for starting a second relationship, with an ex-girlfriend, because the original one is done for good no matter what.

With more information becoming available to us over time, we can then make much better decisions about how to proceed. We are coming at it from the point of view of what is more attractive to a woman: Her annoying ex-boyfriend who calls or texts constantly and is super jealous OR her ex-boyfriend who isn’t bothering her, seems cool with her decision, and is improving his own life?

 

What to Do During No Contact

What would any potential attractive situation for her getting back together with you entail? What were the downsides to the relationship? Did you have anger issues? Lack of commitment? What was it?

One needs to be honest with themselves, about what they need to improve upon, or else you’re going to get the same results…again and again.

Begin to work on your own faults, during this time apart. Not only that, but improve upon aspects of your life that YOU want to focus on, regardless of her.

This can include:

  • improving yourself physically. It’s the basic way of sparking attraction, after all.
  • Working on any emotional problems, negativity, listening skills, empathy, etc. I had some anger issues when I was younger, like real quick to get pissed off, and that was one of the first things that I changed about myself when self-improving. People I hadn’t seen in a while, would always comment how mellow and happier, I seemed. These changes can be a huge part of how people perceive you. Including, those who’ve known you for a long time.
  • Financial and/or career. Money and the path you’re taking in life, can have a big impact on your relationships. Not only that, but also for you as an individual. Take the time to assess what you want and if you’re even on the right path.

 

Establishing Contact

So, after 30-60 days or no contact, the picture will become clearer and it may be time to try and re-establish a connection with the ex-girlfriend. If she was just in a rebound relationship, it very well may have already run its course, and she might be looking to jump ship. Heck, it might have ended already after 1-2 months.

Probably the easiest way to begin to establish contact once again, is through text messaging. After all, it is non-intrusive, and doesn’t require very much to get her to respond. The easiest way to get her to talk, is usually the best way, set the bar really low.

Where does one begin? Well, there are all sorts of variable that can come into play. Knowing where to start is a process of learning. Fortunately, relationship expert Michael Fiore, has a program for getting back in touch with and winning over an ex, called: Text Your Ex Back.

This has been used by thousands of people to re-kindle their broken relationships. Hopefully, you had a chance to download the free guy, linked towards the top of the page about what not to text to an ex-girlfriend. Michael’s program will show you, what you SHOULD text them, and is risk free to try for 60 days. Click the picture below, to watch a video on the process.

 

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How to Forget About Your Ex: Getting Over it and Moving On

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There comes a time, after we have been dumped, cheated on, or gotten out of a toxic relationship, when we just want to move forward with or lives and no longer think of our ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s natural and admirable to want to push forward, without someone we were so close to for so long. However, often, just getting them out of our minds and forgetting the exist for long enough to focus on other areas of ourselves can be an absolute grind. Though, we know inherently that there must be a way out of the fog, but how do we ultimately forget about an ex completely?

 

What are These Feelings?

Many of the feelings that come with the ending of a long-term relationship are negative, in part, because there is a fear of one’s old way of life collapsing and that things will never be the same again. It seems like a really scary thing, that life will no longer carry on as it has before, and that uncertainty will rule the day.

The thing about it is, life is always changing. and people will come in and out of your life. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the life of a human being is.

If your an older reader of this website, I’m sure you can remember dating someone who felt very significant to you in high school or college. When the two of you broke up, it almost certainly seemed like a really big deal, to your young self. Nowadays, you probably don’t ever think about them, and if you do it surely isn’t as emotional as it once was for you. It becomes sort of a faded memory or a pang of nostalgia.

Younger readers, probably don’t have the same experience in dealing with break ups of relationships. This experience and flood of emotion is a new thing for you. I know how tough it can be the first time something like this happens in your life. However, billions of other people throughout time have successfully gotten through it, so you can indeed get through it also.

Just understand that these powerful emotions can make you more impulsive, than you usually would be. As such, we must take care, not to let ourselves make any really poor decisions during the healing process.

What Can One Do?

As I have moved my way through life and experience my own heartbreak, I have come to learn how to get over my feelings for my ex-girlfriends and keep pushing myself forward. It isn’t always an easy or even a pleasant process to have to get through, but I always feel that at the end, it is a rewarding one.

After all, nothing worth having, isn’t a difficult thing to attain. The highs of love wouldn’t be as high. if they weren’t accompanied by, the lowest of lows after a relationship has ended. Each time, I have grown as a person, and gathered plenty of wisdom about what I want or who I don’t want around me.

I have found out over the years that a lot of the addictive qualities of my past relationships were spurred on my a sort of co-dependency with that girl. Meaning, I was always searching for that next ‘high’ and expecting her to validate my feelings and self-worth, just as I had done for her.

I have found out the hard way that if I am not happy with myself first, that, I can never be happy because of her. She CANNOT make me happy. A relationship is there to simply enhance my life experience and perhaps to grow along with one another. Searching for happiness through, relationship after relationship, is ultimately a pointless endeavor.

Going No Contact with Them

Another thing that I always like to do for some period of time following a relationship is applying the No Contact Rule. I do this, to simply give myself some breathing room, without their influence over my emotions. The more I am away from them after a break up, the faster I can return to my rational state of mind. No Contact forces me to be on my own and learn how to function in my life without my ex-girlfriend. I wrote about this process in detail, here.

Time is a very important factor after a break up. A break up is a loss, emotionally. It definitely takes the wind out of your sails for quite a while. What I always allow myself to do after a break up is to essentially grieve its loss for some time.

I allow myself to feel these emotions and not try to cover them up or ignore any pain that I feel. I pull myself together in order to get through the work day, or whatever else, I might have going on. Though, when I get home I can be by myself, and truly let myself feel the loss.

I usually set aside a set amount of time during the evening, if I need it that day. This process doesn’t go on forever, but, it is important to get emotions out in a healthy way. I strictly adhere to a time limit for each day, though. So, I might give myself an hour to feel bad, meditate, and let go of those emotions for the day. I don’t allow myself to continue to wallow and reinforce the bad feelings.

Transitioning to the Positive

How I transition out of those negative feelings, is by slowly adding more and more positive activities into my life. Exercising, reading, meditation, or whatever else that lets me have positive emotions, I will use to replace me moping around the house or crying about the break up. This reinforces good behavioral patterns, and allows me to feel positive feelings, so that I am not just stuck in some dark place for an extended period of time.

It is important to note that, these positive activities can be extremely small things, which add up in the cumulative. So, listening to upbeat music might be one way. Initially, I just want to alter my mood towards the positive, as much as I can. It’s a small step, but our brains sort of need to relearn to be in a normal state during this time.

I also use this time post-breakup, to alter my feeling towards my now ex-girlfriend. I stop myself from idealizing the relationship and only focusing on what I thought were the good times between us.

I adopt a realism, that our relationship had enough problems that it needed to end when it did. Even if we were to re-kindle things, it would have to grow into a different relationship or fail again. I will eventually remind myself that, there are indeed other girls worth pursuing, and eventually start dating again in due time.

On the other side of the coin, even if I dislike her strongly for how things ended, I don’t give into the hatred. I want to accept things as they are and let go of her as an influence, not build her to be some kind of adversary in my own mind.

I know that I have to accept the fact that the way I may feel is not the way she might feel. Meaning, if I still want a relationship with her, I must accept the fact that she might simply just want to move on with her life without me. She may still love me but not want to be with me.

I must accept that things have indeed changed, to the extent that, the same relationship together is no longer possible. Significant changes would have to be made, for us to even think about being together in the future.

The best way to move on from an ex after a relationship is to focus on yourself and your life. Growth is an important aspect of moving on because you can’t get past your emotions if you’re constantly revisiting the past. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, find ways to experience positive emotions, find new ways to grow and experience life, and accept that things are no longer the same and your paths may not cross again. Here are some other helpful posts:

Stop Being Needy Post-Break Up

How to Cope with Loneliness

Ex Back or Move on Homepage

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How to Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend Sleeping with Someone Else

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A very common issue which guys must face after a relationship ends, is the thought of their ex-girlfriend having sex with someone else (either in imagination or reality). The fact that you spent so much time with this girl and grew to have such a deep connection makes it feel really terrible when she is sharing that type of intimacy with another guy. Seeing your ex in this type of relationship so soon can have devastating effects on your psychological state and emotions. How does one accept this as it is and move on?

 

Jealousy and Ego

 

It is interesting as to when we become emotional and/or jealous about a girl having sex. A lot of times when we meet a new girl and begin a relationship with her, she isn’t a virgin (maybe she was in your case) BUT we don’t have the same type of emotional negativity towards the fact that she was with other guys before you. If you do feel that way about guys in the past, then you have a deep seeded attachment to your ego and the self-image you have built for yourself. However, for most guys it really isn’t a big deal because we figure, “She’s with me now.”

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Once she moves on from you and starts to sleep with other guys, why does it bother you more? Her having sex, in no way diminishes you as a man nor does it diminish your past relationship. That relationship has already occurred in the past and run its course.

Really, why should it bother you? You do not have to feel threatened by another man or jealous of him. This type of competition or comparison is the breeding ground of envy, which will only serve to drag you down further. Making you more angry, sad, depressed, etc.

One major factor is the sense of ownership that people get when they are in a relationship. It’s this idea of ‘she’s mine’, which is ultimately an illusion. No girl is ever ‘yours’, she is her own person and while a strong bond and attachment can form, it doesn’t mean that this is going to stay the same forever. After all, there was a time in the past where you probably didn’t know her, she was with another guy, you were seeing other women…there is no difference now, things back then changed, and then things changed again. Acknowledge this fact and begin to let it go.

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Reduce It to Its Base



One way to cope with and begin to transcend the jealousy and other emotions that you feel when you think about your ex-girlfriend having sex with another man is to break down the act to it’s core. Think about this reductionist exercise in very clinical terms. What is actually happening? A man sticks his penis inside a vagina, where is skin comes into contact with her. Friction occurs from thrusting in and out until finally there is an intense spasming and some goo shoots out. That’s it. That’s what we get so upset about, when there’s actually no use crying over spilled goo.

Once reduced to it’s more clinical and technical base, do the same thing with your feelings. What actual harm is this causing me? Does this erase the fact that I’ve already had a sexual relationship with this woman? Does him having sex with her negate my masculinity? Does this preclude me from ever having another woman? Will I even give a damn about her having sex with someone else in 10 years? 5 Years? Hell, 5 months?

This short-lived upset is born out of your attachment towards the narrative in your head. You keep telling yourself, again and again, about your masculinity and your failed relationship. Thoughts and memories betray us, as they constantly loop inside our mind, and more and more images get added to them. This makes these scenes and memories more vivid and emotional for us, which creates greater attachment, especially when we begin to interpret them and buy into this story that we’ve created.
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Why Getting Used to This Helps in the Future

 

Think about the ways women can actually hurt or manipulate you. Either by using sex or emotion. If she wants to entice you to do something, she may use sex as a reward. If she wants to punish you, she withdraws sex. If she wants to really hurt you, she may give sex to another man (known as cheating) in order to make you jealous and feel pain. It’s the same way with emotional manipulation, and guys fall for it, almost every single time.

What if you became centered emotionally and took full control of your sexuality and sexual desire? What if you got to the point where it didn’t bother you if you thought about another guy having sex with a girl you were once with? Without any ego attachment to the act of sex, how would your ex honestly hurt you emotionally? Not just your ex but women you date in the future.

It’s very possible to get to a state where you don’t care about such frivolous things, and let go of any girl, who goes away with another guy or tries to break the confines of your relationship. Many guys in polyamorous relationships, let their girlfriend or wife, have sex with other guys and it doesn’t bother them. Some are full of shit, but others, genuinely don’t care. I’m not saying that you have to pursue that type of relationship, or that it’s even a good idea, but they do have some useful concepts on jealousy and sex.

What if you decide to have sex on your own terms and not go chasing it like some rabid dog? Her seductive charms begin to have no effect on you and you can make clear and rational decision about what you want from your sexual life.

She can probably get sex whenever she wants, but can she get a solid loving relationship whenever? Nope. It’s funny because that can often be the last laugh that men get in these break up scenarios. She goes out and has sex with different guys. Her ex-boyfriend is devastated. She thinks she’s won, but ultimately none of those guys care about her. The ex-boyfriend moves on into a better relationship. She is all alone, stuck with guys who only want her for sex.

 

She Slept with Another Guy and Now Wants Me Back…Wat Do?

Alright, let’s say the scenario is that, she slept with another guy after the break up but now wants to get back together with you. How does one handle that situation?

For me, it would depend highly on the specific circumstances. Admittedly, I would lean heavily towards moving on from that relationship, and firing up the old online dating apps (my book on that subject) to meet new women for myself.

However, I would consider the circumstances, as to whether it was just some random guy or a guy she knew. Do I know how much time elapsed from break up to her having sex with someone else? If it was essentially right after we split and she knew the guy (if I could ascertain that info), then I would say, “No thanks” to her reconciliation offer.

To my mind, he was a back up guy, that she could try to grab onto if things went south with our relationship. It would also be possible that she cheated on me before with him and just made things a bit more official this time around. Either way, I don’t like it, and would move on from her.

If it had been a few months and she had sex with a guy she’d met in the interim period, I’d probably be more forgiving of that. However, it’s still a heavy lean no for me.

You have to analyze your own situation and what you can handle. Let go of all the negative thought patterns, clear your mind, but really figure out how much this might bother you in the future or what impact it might have on a potential reconciliation.

 

What this Boils Down to

The key is not to just grit it out or cope with these feelings. The key is to become aware of them as they bubble up and not let them take control of yourself. Recognize the anger or other feeling when it arises. Observe it. Are you that anger? Do you have to let it ‘become’ who you are? Can you observe this feeling, recognize where it is coming from, feel it, and then let it go?

Don’t become a victim in your own mind, even if it’s justified, as it will only serve to create another story in your head which will loop continuously and drag you down with it. It is easier to get angry or depressed about these things but letting them go is a much more effective way to deal with them.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$3.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

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Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

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Why Won’t My Ex-Girlfriend Reply to My Text Messages?

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The modern communication abilities that we have thanks to technology have been absolutely great for guys in their dating lives. Texting and apps like Tinder have enabled us to avoid calling the old fashioned house phone and talk to as many available girls as we want. However, it has also empowered those women, including our ex-girlfriends to ignore our text, Facebook, or other direct messages whenever it suits them. Why would an ex ignore your texts and ultimately just not respond to them? Well, why one may be ignoring you specifically is a tough nut to crack without having the exact details and circumstances involved (and no I’m not Dr.Phil trying to solve all your woes) BUT what I can do is present some common reasons that your old girlfriend just isn’t going to talk to you.

 

She’s Moved On

One thing you should know about women. When they’re done, they’re done (most of the time). Yes, you can have situations for a while where she isn’t exactly sure how to feel about you, she might still talk with you, or even sleep together. At some point, though, that final frontier is crossed and she is ready to move on with her life. Now, this can mean that she wants to be alone without a partner for a while or that she is seeing other guys. I know that it can hurt to thing about someone you were close with being with another, but it is a simple fact of life that we all must contend with from time to time.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

We do have to let go of people eventually and if there’s a good chance that she’s moved on, you should prepare to do the same. This means going about your life, making positive changes, working towards goals, and even dating other girls. Now, things may change in the future and a reconciliation may eventually be possible but while we can hope for the best we must plan for the most likely outcome.

Moving on isn’t always a finality. I have had ex-girlfriends break up with me and want nothing to do with me, only to later feel the need to contact me again. It’s a really weird phenomenon sometimes, like, you just need to let people go out and explore the world on their own…and the ideas they have in their heads, don’t work out as they thought. Then, they just start reaching out for anything familiar to them.

I had one girl that I dated, hit me up in successive years under the guise of both being ‘just friends’ and then also, trying to have a sexual relationship. I hadn’t spoken to her in years and had zero feelings toward her any longer, crazy, but it happens a lot to people.

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You’ve Become a Creep

When some people get desperate to get their ex back, they start texting the girl way too much, becoming almost stalker like, or even becoming violent/angry towards them. The violent aspect doesn’t apply to most guys, but many guys do text their ex-girlfriends a lot and come off as needy and weak.

If this applies to you, back off. Going no contact, might not get an ex-girlfriend to come back but it isn’t going to make things worse. The situation needs to cool off and both parties need their space to live their lives. Being the creepy or stalker-ish ex-boyfriend is a huge turnoff to women and it isn’t going to make her respond to whatever texts may come her way.

I’ve never successfully gotten a girl to come back, trying to go the texting and explaining route. However, I have gotten girlfriends to become interested in me again, after I went No Contact and stopped making myself appear desperate to have her back in my life.

Obsessiveness and desperation are major turn offs for people. Yes, she knows you well after dating for so long, but that relationship is now severed and it becomes quite easy to push her further away while desperately trying to grasp her attention back to you. Guys really need to chill with this shit.

She’s Up on a Pedestal…and You Put Her There

This is a offshoot of the last point. Texting a girl a lot and becoming really emotional about her is quite repulsive to women. Don’t treat her as if she is some sort of perfect angel and that your life is over without her (it isn’t). Why would she respond favorably towards a guy she knows she has some control over and can get him back any time she pleases? Where’s the challenge? Where’s the equality in the relationship?

Essentially, you make yourself less attractive as a man because you’ve ceded your masculinity and everything that she probably used to find attractive. Don’t beg. Don’t be a lapdog. Use this time period as an opportunity to improve your life, regardless if she ever comes back or not. Chicks come and go BUT the one constant in your life is YOU.

Which guy would she be more likely to go back to?

The guy who texts and pretty much obsesses over her or the guy who is out doing positive things with his life and seeing other women? The answer is the latter.

The post-breakup period is a trying time emotionally, I get it, I’ve been there. The problem is, when we’re hyped up in these insanely emotional states, we do dumb things that we believe will ‘solve our problems’ but really just destroy our chances of resolving anything.

One of the dumb things we do, is to go into begging and pleading mode. Or better yet, the complete idealization of her and the relationship, but if everything was so perfect…it wouldn’t have failed.

 

She’s Just Pissed Off at You

Sometimes, it isn’t a big thing where she’s moved on or she’s lost interest in you. It might just be a temporary situation, where she’s completely pissed off at you and needs more time to cool off before she’s ready to talk to you.

This one isn’t such a big deal usually, unless you did something really terrible like cheat on her…then yeah, you might be fucked. There can be lots of little reasons she might not want to respond to anything you say at the moment. This is just a storm you’ve got to ride out.

Emotional states change and the thought patterns that make someone be really mad, eventually pass, and they can think rationally once again. Time apart allows cooler heads to prevail and give someone clarity about what they want and don’t want in their lives. That clarity might make a woman realize, that the relationship she just ended is the best option for her in life, and that the anger she felt wasn’t really anything major.

 

What Can You Do When She Won’t Reply to Your Messages?

Really, the best moves you can make are to:

1. Not send any more messages, see the no contact rule post

2. Prepare to move on, even if she comes back.

The first aspect gives her space and allows you to stop coming off as really desperate and unattractive. While the second, makes it easier to move past the breakup if it is indeed a permanent thing and it very well might be.

Of course, your own situation will vary but as far as a general point of view that about does it. There are some many variables and reasons why she may not be responding but the only one who knows for sure is her.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex at some point. She’s not currently responding to your texts, but at some point, she very well could.  Of course, we still have to give things time, and let the situation settle down but texting can be an amazing weapon to give things another try.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back” program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of television shows, to discuss his methods at repairing broken relationships.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

 

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Should I Take my Ex-Boyfriend Back after He Dumped Me?

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Sometimes when relationships end, the person who ended the partnership, has a change of heart and later decides that this move away from their ex was a mistake. Perhaps, the breakup was a hasty or emotionally charged decision that they confirmed was a mistake once they had cleared their heads and began to think logically. Other times, they find out how rough the single life can sometimes be and want to return to the safety of something familiar. Either way, the person who got dumped has a decision to make as to whether or not they want to accept their ex back into their lives on that level. Should you take your ex-boyfriend back after he broke up with you? Well, that depends on you, your situation, and what you want for your future.

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Get to the Root Cause of Why He Wants You Again

The first thing that you should assess, even before whether or not you want to take him back, is why did he break up with you in the first place? Sometimes, his reasoning for leaving you will reveal more than what you want from a relationship because it can often indicate if he is truly serious or not.

Think about it. If he broke up with you because he wanted to go out with a bunch of different girls, have things changed in his mind to make him want to be monogamous with you now? If he was nervous about commitment on a deeper level, has he suddenly become Mr. Ready to Marry during your time apart?

He might very well truly want to be with you but he could also just be lonely or having trouble meeting other women and so came crawling back. What are his reasons for wanting to be with you again, if things were so bad that he dumped you in the first place?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You cannot just automatically assume that he is in it for the long haul and really does want a relationship with you again, even if he says he does. He could be just as confused about things as you are and just be grasping for some level of stability.

Yes, there is the possibility that he truly realizes that he made a mistake by letting you go. There is the ‘grass is always greener’ scenario in life. Perhaps he feared commitment before, but recognized that the dating scene wasn’t all that great, and so needs to get back together.

Another point, is that he might have gotten caught up in the emotional turmoil of the break up. He dumped you for some reason, perhaps was upset about something involving the two of you, and then cooled down later after the damage was done. Now, pride kicks in, and it takes him a while to gather the courage to ask to get back together. He was impulsive and broke up with you for a frivolous reason.

It gets lonely sometimes

What Has Changed?

There are always reasons for breakups. Sometimes they’re major and other times they are quite minor and silly to think about. However, no matter what the problem was, if there is not a solution, then you are simply getting back into a broken relationship. If that’s the case, it’s best to just forget about him and move on.

Think about what you’re relationship’s problems were. Was it equally split between the two of you or was he the main culprit for the issues that popped up? If cheating was involved (especially on his part) then a vast majority of the time it is a very bad idea to get back together.

People always pronounce that they are going to change and they may even show strides towards making that a reality…BUT…the truth of the matter is that change is extremely difficult for people to make. Change isn’t just a superficial paint job to cover up the mistakes and problems of the past, rather, it is something which needs to occur on a fundamental level in order to truly be effective.

With that in mind, question what about your relationship has changed and what will change for the better if you do decide to take him back. Things don’t go back to being the same just because you want them to.

In fact, it’s almost as if you are creating a new relationship from scratch, since the old one was obviously broken in some way or multiple ways. Be level-headed and logical to avoid falling into the trap of chasing what you had in the past together and if you cannot see a viable future, then it is time to accept the breakup once and for all.

If you decide to start talking to him again, about the possibility of reconciling the relationship, and you’re getting the vibe that his motives aren’t what he says they are…it’s a valid reason to end it and move on with your life. Changes need to materialize at some point and it’ll be a waste of your time, to simply get stuck in the same rut again, that caused the original split.

 

What Do You Want?

Ultimately, you must decide what you want for your life and what type of relationship you want to be in. Nostalgia and those intense feelings you may still have for him are not enough to make a relationship work. Nor do they mean that getting back with him is the best decision for you and your life.

It’s really tough to let someone you love go but when it comes to dysfunctional relationships, it truly is the best choice to make.

If you don’t have a clear picture of what you want to do with your life, or that he should definitely be the guy you want to be with for the long haul; it is a good idea to not take him back. This is not a decision to be taken lightly or to make impulsively, as getting back into a bad relationship or one that has run its course, will lead to bad results and waste large potions of you time.

Think long and hard about this, don’t be in an emotional state, weigh the pros and cons, and eventually a clear picture will emerge. If one doesn’t then you probably shouldn’t get back together.

Where do you see things in five years? Both in your life and career, but also for the type of relationship that you want. Can he actually fit into this scenario? If you want marriage and kids and he doesn’t, is it going to be worth fixing this boyfriend/girlfriend scenario? Shouldn’t you instead spend your time getting your life the way you want it, so that when you meet the right guy, everything is set?

It can be tough because of these emotional attachments that we have to people. In the short-term, it hurts like hell to let them go, because they can supply strong positive feelings when they’re around. The problem is, in the long-term, it can derail what you want from life if they aren’t the right person. The right person when you’re 20, might be completely wrong for you at 27 years old. The idea is to mature and grow together, if he isn’t capable, then what’s the point?

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Back if She Just Wants to be Friends

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Ah, the dreaded friend zone. This is a spot which is usually reserved for guys who a girl has no romantic interest in initially and not a guy whom she has already dated. However, there are circumstances in which after a break up, your ex-girlfriend might tell you that she just wants to be friends with you now, and that she doesn’t want the two of you to hate each other. In principle, being friends with your ex doesn’t seem like such a bad proposition but it can turn out that way, based on the feeling you still have and what her true meaning is exactly. In my experience, the whole just being friends thing, doesn’t really mean that the two of you are going to be best buds and hang out all of the time. So, in this post, I want to explore a little bit of what it means for you and your ex to be ‘just friends’ and if there is a clear methodology to get yourself out of said situation or if it is even desirable.

 

I Want Us to Be Just Friends

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

 

Alright, so, you and this girl have had a sit down or she has texted and informed you of your new found friendship. You may have agreed that the two of you should remain friends in the aftermath of the breakup, even though, you probably didn’t really mean it. From your end, you still want her back as a girlfriend and are only being amenable to friendship, so that you can stay somewhat close to her.

Let’s just be honest from the start here, you are still sexually attracted to this girl and have romantic feelings towards her…there’s no purely Platonic relationship here and while you still care about her, you’re not her friend!

On the flip side, she is suggesting being friends in order to either let you down gently and diminish your intentions of you trying to get back together with her or she is planning on keeping you around for other purposes. Being stuck in the friend zone means that you will be giving away your time and attention in exchange for something you don’t actually want (the illusion of true friendship).

In that situation, her emotional needs and need to have someone to download all of her problems onto is met by you, her now ‘neutered’ ex-boyfriend, while she can go out and get her physical needs satisfied by other men…whom she still has sexual attraction to. Listen to this clip below, for a great explanation of the ‘Time Ho’ phenomenon, and see if it doesn’t describe your current situation.

 

 

 

Listen, man, the break down of this problem is actually quite simple. If you really just want to be friends, have other girls around, and no longer have any type of real attraction to this girl…then by all means, go be a friend zoned guy. If you actually just want to get back with her or you are undecided if that’s the best course of action to take, then, don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that the two of you are pals.

It’s an either or thing. You can be friends with an ex if that same spark is no longer there OR you can still desire her and want to reconcile the relationship. Trying to play it both ways, isn’t tenable, in the long-term.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Escape from Friend Zone Mountain

Removing yourself from the friend zone is a laborious process. The first thing that I would consider, is if being with this girl is truly what I want or am I just carrying leftover emotional baggage.

If it is the latter, then, I would suggest getting to work with moving on with your life and letting go of this failed relationship…there are literally billions of others out there for us to pursue. Getting past it, is mostly a function of time mixed with the pursuit of personal growth, so that your life doesn’t stagnate and you don’t become consumed with the past and what was.

If you are hellbent on getting out of the friend zone and trying to get back together with this girl, however, just know that while it can be done, it is never a guarantee to work. Ask yourself if you really want to spend time chasing something that may never be and even if it comes to fruition, it won’t be the same as it once was. Luckily, this decision doesn’t have to be made on the spot, as the best path to follow whether moving on from or trying to get out of the friend zone with your ex-girlfriend is the same…at least initially.

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone with an ex? Yes, I’ve done it before but the funny thing is, I no longer wanted those girls around by the time they became interested in me once again. It works out that way sometimes, where you’ve grown as a person to the point that a girl you once were really into, no longer holds the same meaning in your life.

That’s why taking time apart can be so damn important. Emotional distress and everything that comes with it, can push you towards one outcome, that you may not actually want for yourself in the long-term. It’s sort of a temporary state, where you can’t really make good decisions.

No Contact? Hell yeah, No Contact!

In order to extricate yourself from the friend zone, you must not allow yourself to get sucked deeper into it. That’s an impossible task if you are constantly answering her phone calls and listening to her complain about her day. You cannot allow yourself to get dragged further down into the abyss and becoming an utterly neutral man in her eyes (i.e. she doesn’t feel that sexual attraction) because that will only increase the severity of the problem.

I’ve already discussed the No Contact Rule in length, here. As such, I’m not going to delve into it in this article. However, I will say that you will need to go roughly a month of no contact, so that you can even begin to start crawling out of the friend zone. But…but…won’t she forget about me? Only if you’re forgettable. Besides, you cannot think like that, you have to be willing to lose a girl completely. Even if that fact hurts to think about, as men, we have to cultivate the ability to walk away from situations because our disinterest can sometimes be the only way of preserving our respect.

When that high level physical and emotional interest (on her end) no longer exists like it did at the start of the relationship, one has to choose the most attractive path available. For most guys, this means either some level of indifference, or being the lapdog who begs for her back. The first one is way more attractive, than the chick repellent that is desperate behavior.

 

What to do During No Contact?

What I would suggest doing during this No Contact period is taking a hyper-interest in yourself and your life. Yes, self-development is the main thing that I would focus on. I cannot spend my time solely thinking about her, and how much I can’t wait for this period of time to end, so that I can send her a text message again.

This type of obsession seems to be common, especially among men, as we usually have a tougher time dealing with breakups and the emotions that follow. We also, will usually develop strong feelings for women, if they happen to be the only option that is around. In this case, our ex-girlfriend was our main squeeze, and when we lose her henceforth it becomes almost a compulsion to get her back.

While I think it is a terrible idea to jump into a serious relationship right after you just got out of one, I think that it is a great idea to starting dating casually again, in order to gain clarity. (If you suck at getting girls, I’ve written two Kindle books on this subject: Game without Games and Online Dating for Men ) Going out with other girls does multiple things…

First, it allows you to viscerally understand that your ex is not the only girl out there who may be a decent match for you. Thus, her hold on you is lessened. It also might make it clear for you, that you don’t actually need to pursue your ex-girlfriend, anymore.

Secondly, it diffuses your interest among many girls instead of concentrating it on the one you don’t have. Think about it, if you have 20 girls who you can text with and probably get to meet you out somewhere, are you really going to be as attached to the one who currently has you stuck in the friend zone? Probably not.

Thirdly, your value on the sexual market is raised. If many women want you or hang around you for dates, you are a much more desirable man in the eyes of every other woman (including your ex).

People’s perception becomes their reality. For example, if two identical men are at a crowded bar and one of them is standing alone while the other is surrounded by people, which one has more value? The man with lots of friends and women, even though he is identical to the man that is standing alone. It is mere perception of value that changes the level of attractiveness.

What that means for your ex-girlfriend, is that if she’s noticing that your are getting along fine without her, the idea that she made a mistake might start creeping into her head. After all, these other women seem to be enjoying my ex, maybe I had something really good and let it get away.

Whether she starts thinking that or not, the idea is to sort of reset the conception she has of you in her mind. Start dating other girls during this no contact period and keep it going after contact has been established.

Other things that you can do in order to start raising your value is to change your physical appearance for the better, learn new skills, start new projects, find new social activities to engage in…really anything that alters the perception of who you are (and that you enjoy doing) will begin to dissolve her old perception of you and help to recast you in a new light.

Go hard. Really plan it out, as to how you’re going to improve your life, whether she’s around or not. It’s a winning move, because your life gets better, and a man with an awesome life is really attractive to women; even those who’ve dated you before.

 

What to Do Post-No Contact

Well, reestablish contact with her.  Remember though, that you cannot act like the same old guy by begging to have her come back to you and all the desperate attention seeking things of that nature. Still have other girls lined up for dates. So, for instance, if you end up setting up a meeting with you ex on Wednesday, try having dates on Tuesday and Thursday (or other times during the week) so that your ex is just another girl in the rotation and not elevated above.

In my experience with getting out of the friend zone, I found that treating the failed relationship as completely done was the best course to follow. Whatever emerged with my ex after the breakup was an entirely new edifice that we were constructing and hence I couldn’t give her the same type of priority treatment she had when we were together.

I got back to her when I felt like it, I accepted offers to hang out at my convenience, I never broke my other plans just to go listen to her nonsense. In essence, I reclaimed my sovereignty as a man, and the girl had to work her way back to the top of the depth chart if she wanted more of my time. Even then, the result was to keep it casual, and we never ‘got back together’ beyond hanging out and hooking up.

Relationships should only be carried out on your terms. If she continues to stick you in the friend zone when you have no interest in that, then you can completely sever ties with her. Like I said, getting out of the friend zone doesn’t always work and there are going to be instances in which you cannot rekindle a romance. The good news is that, by the time you’ve figured out whether she might want you back, you may have already moved on to bigger and better things.

 

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