The No Contact Rule is a staple of the post-break up period. It is utilized in order to both give yourself and your now, ex-boyfriend a break from one another. The thinking is that time can bring clarity and absence makes the heart grow fonder. The big question is, does doing a 30+ No Contact period, actually work to get someone back?
Can you get a guy to return by avoiding communications and letting him be on his own for a spell of time? How does this have a high success rate? Shouldn’t pursuing an ex, with all your effort, be the way to go?
Does Going No Contact Work?
I think that it is pretty important to get down to specifics, of what is meant by ‘working’. Some folks, seem to be under the impression, that something needs to work 100% of the time in order to be effective.
I hate to break it, but nothing is 100% effective. You are dealing with human emotions, and someone outside yourself, who has his own goals and plans.
However, if we are speaking as to whether or not it is an effective tactic, versus the alternative (endless texting and begging). Then the answer is, yes, No Contact certainly does work.
In this context, it does absolutely work. As it goes counter to what most women do, when trying to get their man to come back. Very rarely do they even have a coherent plan. The beg one day, curse him the next, and leave drunk voicemails just days later.
Their emotions have them all over the map. As such, the ex-boyfriend, can be either just confused or really turned off to the prospect of ever reconciling things.
No Contact allows for consistency in messaging (or lack there of). It prevents desperation and neediness from seeping through. It allows you the time, to get your emotions under control, and creates enough space to chart a course forward.
Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.
The No Contact Rule doesn’t give someone a perfect chance or guarantee of re-attracting a man. But, it gives one the opportunity of a higher percentage chance, versus a totally out of control emotional roller coaster.
Does No Contact work? Yep. There are situations where it doesn’t. However, it usually gives one the best odds of making the correct moves towards getting an ex-boyfriend back.
Of course, there are cases where no matter what you do, the relationship is over for good. Some guys, just reach their breaking point, or want to go in a new direction with their lives
Why do No Contact?
No Contact can be a critical part of the process, because of the healing nature of time. Having time apart is necessary for a broken up couple, as it can give both parties the clarity that they need, to figure out what to do next.
Whether that is moving on or getting back together.
It allows you to get a better picture about your life moving forward without his influence. You can feel like getting back with someone, simply because you feel bad in the moment. However, it might not be the best long-term solution, and actually be a bad move.
Going through a period of No Contact can allow you to sort that all out. He’s no longer around, so, you can get in depth with your wants without the constant communications and whatnot.
There are also underlying reasons why the two of you broke up. These are still unresolved. Taking time apart, allows you to evaluate, if they are actually fixable or if things are doomed for another break up.
It Gives Him Space
Beyond just your needs, it also give the ex-boyfriend time to get an idea about what he wants. Yes, even if he dumped you, he can still be going through an emotionally challenging time. Giving him time apart, can make him realize that he made a mistake, or that he truly does want something else.
Do You Really Want Him Back?
What can often happen, with time apart, people come to realize that they really don’t want to get back with an ex. The emotions of the post-breakup period were just so intense, that it felt like what they wanted.
However, time and separation, can give us a better view of our lives and futures. It allows us to see that, while the relationship had its positives, it ultimately wasn’t what was best for us.
Going No Contact gives us time and clarity, so that we don’t just rush head first, back into a broken relationship. We can see things that aren’t fixable or not something that we actively desire for ourselves moving forward.
What To Do During No Contact?
No Contact isn’t just about not communicating with an ex (except when legitimately necessary). It is also very useful as a time of growth and getting one’s own life back up and running. Getting ourselves in a good spot, without that emotional turmoil hanging over us.
Positive growth can come in the form of education, health, breaking bad habits, etc. They don’t need to be rash or completely life altering decisions. In fact, it’s probably best to avoid making those rash decisions, in an emotional state.
This is a very useful time, to get better as a person, and to really pursue things which make you happy/excited about the future. If you do end up getting back with the ex-boyfriend, he will be getting a improved version of you.
What Comes After No Contact?
I hope that you took the opportunity, to download the two free reports from earlier in the post, about what not to text an ex.
Those reports are from a program called, “Text Your Ex Back” by relationship expert, Michael Fiore. Along with what not to text the ex, you also get to see a basic road map of the Text Your Ex Back process.
This is a full ebook and mp3 program, which has helped thousands of people reconnect with their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends. It lays out: when to text, what to say, and how to turn text messages into meetups. Hopefully, those meetups then turn into dates, and reconciliation.
If you want more help with trying to get an ex back, give “Text Your Ex Back” a try. It comes with a full 60 day money back guarantee. Please click the link below, to watch a full video presentation by Mr. Fiore, explaining his process.