The time after a break up can be a confusing and harrowing experience to get through with your emotions in tact. At some point, in the ensuing weeks or months following the end of the relationship, your now ex-girlfriend can cut off contact with and flat out ignore you. This move can blindside a lot of guys because they’re not expecting it, as the girl that they were once super close with, now won’t even acknowledge that they exist. Why the hell isn’t she talking to me? What’s the deal with her ignoring my texts and phone calls? There are many potential reasons and variables associated with individual relationships but in this post I want to cover some of the common reasons that a woman will ignore you and some potential remedies for dealing with this situation.
With all of that in mind, let’s get into some potential reasons why an ex-girlfriend may all of the sudden no longer be paying you… any mind.
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Why Is My Ex-Girlfriend Ignoring Me?
Moving On Has Begun
Let me be clear, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she has moved on entirely, or that she is gone for good. Things aren’t always that cut and dry.
However, ignoring you could be a sign that she is preparing herself to move forward without you or is currently seeing other guys, to help get through the post break up period.
Don’t freak out or anything, this isn’t always the case; but cutting off contact like this can be apart of the healing process for anybody after a relationship ends.
One can only begin to cope with emotions of loss and the void of loneliness once the constant stimulus is cut off of having to see and communicate with an ex. That constant reminder of someone, can be rough, as you know.
It’s really difficult to get one’s mind right when you have to constantly see someone who you’ve broken it off with. This is a potential reason why she is ignoring you when you try to communicate.
Moving on with another guy or multiple guys doesn’t mean that it’s a serious thing. Different people cope with the end of a relationship in different ways.
A lot of this behavior can be traced to not wanting to feel alone or wanting to get away from the constant stream of negative emotions. It can also at times be a signal that a new direction in life is going to be taken.
This moving on also doesn’t have to involve anyone else. She may very well decide that she’s going to take a break from dating period, at least for a while. As such, she not only isn’t going to talk to any new guys, but she also may have decided to cut off contact from you too.
Finally, there is the possibility that she is trying to move on with her life, without the relationship. At which point, a man needs to respect that and do the same.
Things change, time passes, and people enter or exit one another’s lives. It happens. This is probably the least likely reason because so many people have trouble moving past anything emotionally, but some folks do just cut ties and get on with living.
She’s Irritated with You
This is more common when you are the one who got dumped. In the aftermath, you may still be really wanting to get back together and she’s not really having it. As such, we as men don’t take failure all that well at times, and so we begin to chase.
We may start calling and texting her way too much in order to try and convince her to come back, which only serves to push her further away. At some point, she’ll have had enough and just cut off all contact as a way to stop being bothered by the constant attention.
Yes, it can be tough to deal with and our brain’s will tell us to keep pursuing, but we also need to know when we should back the hell off and give her space. Keep in mind that being subservient and constantly available is already an unattractive trait, even more so once a relationship has dissolved and you are very familiar to her.
The constant chatter and behaving like a lap dog that is available at her beck and call makes her feel less attraction. So, stop doing it. Nobody likes it when someone is always buzzing in their ears.
It can be difficult and there is this tendency to want to try and fix everything but you can’t really, at this point in time, so take a break and go No Contact if necessary.
So many people think they can just do some elaborate convincing and fix a broken relationship. That’s a pretty low percentage shot. In reality, it takes time, and effort.
Some of that time, has to be spent apart from one another, in order to gain clarity about how each person wants to proceed from the breakup.
If you think that you may be texting her too much, you probably are.
She’s Going No Contact
Yep, your ex-girlfriend might be using the same Jedi mind trick on you. This is more likely, in the event that you broke up with her, and less likely if you were the one who got dumped.
No Contact doesn’t always mean that someone is trying to get back together with their ex, though it could. It can also be an effective tool for getting over someone or just trying to get themselves into a solid mental state without the heavy emotions constantly weighing on them.
No Contact Rule is a ‘rule’ for a reason, lots of people use it, and it is effective. It is a multi-purpose strategy, used to gain control of your life and emotional state, after such a dramatic change. Also, if they want to get back together, at some point. It’s like buying time, to see which way the wind is blowing, for or against a reconciliation.
Of course, there’s the old standby reason, she’s really mad. This can be the case when cheating was involved or some bad argument took place between the two of you. The more upset she is, obviously the less likely that she is going to want to talk or text for a while.
Anger can go both ways, sometimes its a temporary phase, and eventually cooler heads prevail. However, if the anger and resentment is strong enough, it can be a complete end to the relationship with no reconciliation.
Cheating as a break up cause, can often be a no win position to start from. Honestly, I wouldn’t take a girl back who cheated on me, so I expect that plenty of ladies out there also share the same principle.
In order to gauge this, you need to think about the specifics of your own relationship, and how things fell apart. This one is a very common reason, if the two of you have been arguing a lot.
Obviously, if you said or did some foul things, and all of the sudden she stopped replying to your texts…there’s you answer as to why.
What’s the Response?
When being ignored, you can’t just go and start chasing. That tends to push them further away. The best prescription is to go, No Contact on your end, and give her space for a spell of time.
A period of no contact can last a month or two. During that time period things can become much clearer as to what path you should take.
That can mean that you eventually pursue a reconciliation or decide to move forward with your own life. Thus leaving this relationship on the heap of the past.
You can’t always make a bold move in order to get someone back, this kind of thing requires a certain amount of patience, and sometimes the best move is to do nothing…for now, at least.
As men, we always tend to want to take action to fix a situation. But many times, the act of pursuit or trying to fix things, just makes it worse. The more we chase, the more they run away.
Eventually, if you are still interested in pursuing a reconciliation, then you can try texting her and opening the lines of communication.
This is of course, a much easier task, if you haven’t completely pissed her off or cheated on her or were particularly terrible during/after the relationship.
It also is way easier when she isn’t thoroughly sick of being pestered and chased by you, when she’s trying ignore you. Patience is a virtue.