Can I Get My Ex-Boyfriend to Come Back to Me?

There is the ingrained belief in a lot of humans that if we simply try hard enough for something that we can make it happen.

While this kind of attitude can be a good thing, it can sometimes come back to bite us. It is this mindset that we can become stuck in that won’t let us accept certain changes in our lives and know when to call it quits.

In post-relationship terms, it can be quite a common idea that if we simply pursue our ex with the right type of vigor and strategy, we can surely get them back…

Will He Come Back to Me?

Reality can be quite different from our hopes for it. The fact is, that many relationships cannot be repaired, nor should they even be…there’s a good reason(s) why the breakup occurred.

Other times, a reconciliation is possible and happens but only for a short period of time before it goes into the gutter once again.

Usually, because nothing fundamentally changed. When the initial excitement of being together wore off, the couple will quickly be at odds once again.

And of course, there are those success stories of lovers who separated (maybe multiple times), before addressing what ailed the relationship and got back together for good.

That’s just the way life is. People change and so do their wants, desires, and circumstances. Allow yourself to feel upset or saddened by the breakup with your ex-boyfriend but not overcome by it.

Whether or not you actually do decide to pursue your ex, or indeed, get him into a relationship once again; it is a very good idea to prepare for either outcome. Either being together or still separated.

Also, realize that he probably isn’t in the same head space or life circumstance, as he was when you first met. Sometimes, the best course to take is to simply let go and move on.

OK, so what if I still want my ex-boyfriend back? Well, yes of course. It is perfectly natural to feel that way after a breakup.

It can be caused by loneliness or the belief that he is indeed your true love (whether or not this is actually true and might even seem that way in this moment).

The ultimate question is whether or not you can you actually get your ex-boyfriend to come back to you? What would it actually entail?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Were the Causes of the Break Up?

To answer the question of if he might come back to you or not, you must clearly understand your situation, and what caused the separation from one another.

Did you cheat on him? Were you fighting a lot? Did you or he want different things for the relationship? Was it doomed from the start or was it mainly one thing that ruined it?

There are so many possibilities and details, relevant to your own circumstance, and it is highly important to figure out what those questions are. Plus, what the true answers are, without any self-delusional BS.

There are always specific reasons for a breakup. Even if you didn’t see it coming, there had to be some underlying cause.

Sometimes, it is simply lack of chemistry or not being the right fit, for one another…it happens and you can’t beat yourself up about it.

If you can dig to the depths and find out the truth to your situation, then it can be easier to weigh the odds or if you even really want to get back together with him.

Some relationships only had a few flaws and can be remedied. Find out what your personal mistakes or flaws were, that of the relationship, and the changes you would like to see your partner make.

Heck, for some of you reading this, you were the one who broke off the relationship. You dumped him.

• Why?
• What was he doing that was getting so unbearable for you?
• Do you think he will change these behaviors?
• If not, can you actually put up with it?
• Do you even want to?

Have the Changes of Life Created Too Much Separation?

Sometimes, there are complete changes in life that a person undergoes. When this happens, it no longer makes sense for them to stay in the same relationships, or live the same lifestyles that they were accustom to.

People grow apart and may want different things for their potential futures. Your ex-boyfriend may not be in a position to commit to a long-term relationship or vice-versa.

When these circumstances arise, a relationship may have simply run its course and the two people are no longer in the same place mentally/emotionally as one another.

Some relationships don’t start out as anything more than a fling and when enough time goes by they falter because these relationships weren’t built on anything substantial.

However, because so much time was spent together, it still has a powerful emotional resonance.

Briefly, if you and your ex aren’t at a similar place currently or where you each want to be in the future, then the relationship will not work.

Attraction might have already left and that spark is gone and that will prevent a reconciliation from taking place.

Taking Consideration and Making the First Move

The first step that needs to be done in this process, is to gain the clarity about what you want. Using the ideas above, go for a period of No Contact, with your ex-boyfriend for 30-45 days and figure out what you want.

(If you’re already not in contact, then, take as much time as you need to figure things out before trying to reconcile).

During this time, not only figure out what you want for a potential reconciliation (or moving on without him), but also work on your own emotional, life, and health goals/needs.

This time apart should be about self-improvement. Getting yourself in a better place, to be a better version of you, and be a better girlfriend for him (if that’s what you end up still wanting).

There does have to be some changes that are made, otherwise, anything that comes out of the reconciliation is just going to fail later on.

Begin the process, get your mind clear, life in order, and then go for contacting him.

What’s the first move?

So, for us to re-establish contact, we need a plan and knowledge of what to do. The easiest and probably most effective way nowadays, to reach out to an ex is through text messaging.

Why? Well, it takes the pressure off of the other person in the moment. It gives them the opportunity to respond later, rather than, having to do so right away.

Also, it allows a person to craft the right message to reach out, and not have to think of some random plead, on the fly.

It’s simply not as invasive, as trying to get someone on the phone, or immediately trying to see them in person.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Toward the top of the page, there was a link to download two free PDF reports, about what not to do when trying to text and ex-boyfriend. These were written by Michael Fiore, as sort of an introduction to his Text Your Ex Back program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

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