Category Archives: Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Can I Get My Ex-Girlfriend to Come Back to Me?

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The nature’s of men and women are obviously very different from one another. Men, we hardly think we can ever lose and even if we do lose, we are a big believer in the come back. Sure, I’m down 20k in blackjack but I know I can come back and at least break even! It is our competitive ways and our ego, which often times, won’t let us accept the reality of our situation. We don’t know when to throw in the towel. This phenomenon is especially common in our post-breakup lives, where we just know that we can get our ex-girlfriends back, if we just try hard enough…after all we’re so awesome, right?

The truth of the matter is, many broken relationships stay broken and there is never any reconciliation of note. Other relationships, will be mended back together and falter soon thereafter because either the underlying issues which caused the breakup were never addressed or the attraction simply isn’t there anymore.

It happens that way, things change, and so do people. Recognize that the path she was on when she met you, may not be the one she is currently walking down. If that’s the case, learn to accept it and move on.

What if I still Want Her to Come Back?

But what if I still want my ex back? Well, we mostly all want something good we once had but ultimately lost. This can stem from nostalgia, loneliness, bitterness, or even the belief that she is truly the one you want to be with.

In this moment in time, that last one may be entirely true for you. However, the final question will be can you actually get your ex-girl to get back together with you? (The first question is a matter of clearing your head, gathering perspective, and deciding whether or not you truly want to get back with her)

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Were the Causes?

In order to answer the question of can you get her back, you must clear define for your situation, what the causes were that drove her away from you?

  • Did you Cheat? Did She? (If she did, dude…give it up and move on)
  • Did one of you want a deeper commitment that the other didn’t?
  • Did you grow too far apart?
  • Did you fight all of the time?

The list can go on and on, with possibilities, but the important thing is to find out the right questions and answers for your specific situation. I know that sometimes a break up can blindside us…you didn’t think that she wanted to leave you, suddenly and out of the blue, she did.

The reality is that there were indeed specific reasons (that maybe you didn’t notice or even pick up on) but they were nonetheless there. Women rarely just suddenly break up with someone, it’s usually a long-time coming, so they can have a clean exit strategy.

If you can figure out some answers and truths about your circumstances, then you can make a rational assessment, of whether or not you can get your ex-girlfriend to come around and reconsider.

For example, if you cheated, then it is probably over. That’s not a guarantee, but there are many people who will refuse to accept cheating, on any grounds. They will never let go of those feelings of betrayal, so, it’s often best just to move on.

There are other circumstances that can be remedied but will require changes to be made on your part. Brainstorm ideas about what you can do to be a better partner and how the relationship can be altered for the better.

 

Has What’s Changed Deviated too Far?

Different breakups obviously have differing causes. Sometimes, it’s caused by minor or easily solvable problems. There are points in time in relationships (even long-term ones) where break ups may occur but it’s usually a short-lived time apart from one another.

Other times, there are complete and wholesale shifts in the relationship or within one of the partner’s lives that shakes things up beyond repair. This can stem from a violation of trust or even wanting other things for their future. It may be that you aren’t ready to commit, but your ex-girlfriend wants someone, who is serious about getting married in the near future or vice-versa.

In these sorts of situations, a relationship may have grown beyond its original intentions and it is probably best for the two people to go their separate ways.

A lot of relationships, seem to start as just fooling around or as hook-ups, that then generally got more serious and intense. Eventually, if these more intense relationships weren’t built off of genuine attraction, love, and commonalities of purpose, then the foundation of the relationship is shaky at best and will probably fail.

In short, if the two of you are on different pages completely as to what you currently want for your lives and your futures, then it is going to be much more difficult to have a long-term reconciliation.

What Can You Improve On?

No matter what your situation in life, one should always strive to get better in all aspects of it. Improvement of your looks, lifestyle, mental/emotional state, and more can have a profound impact on the type and number of women that you attract in your life (even your ex).

Now, saying all of this, it doesn’t mean that if you get yourself in shape that you will get her back…BUT…improvements in all facets of your life will definitely improve your odds to add to your attractiveness and to show that you are serious about changing for the better.

After a breakup, there is a tendency for people to compare their situations to that of their ex. Women tend to notice a lot when a man makes a lot of positive changes in his life. It shows that he isn’t wallowing in despair because she left, that he has ambition and confidence, and that he is ready to move forward with or without his ex-girlfriend.

Making these sorts of changes is ultimately the best course of action to take, as, even if she doesn’t come back there will be plenty of other women clamoring for a chance if you dramatically improve yourself.

The bottom line is, yes, it is possible to get your ex-girlfriend back. However, it is not a guarantee. The best a man can do is weight the odds, take a chance, and see what the future holds.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How To Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back If She’s Moved On

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There are many different circumstances, one could find themselves in, following the demise of a relationship. Sometimes, your ex-girlfriend is still single for a long period of time after the break up. Maybe, she has gone through a series of rebounds, that weren’t very serious. Other times, a serious relationship may follow another, to simply divest themselves emotionally from the previous one and want to move on with their lives. There are a lot of ways people ‘move on’ from a break up either alone or with other people. But how does one get an old girlfriend back, when she has decided to go forward with her life?

 

Assessing the Situation

Different folks have different levels of commitment to their decisions in life. For some, deciding that they’re done with a relationship is a finality. They make up their minds and it’s over completely. For others, their mind wavers, they can’t seem to let go of the past or questioning whether or not they’re making a poor decision.

It is because of these varying personalities and levels of commitment, that a wide variety of potential outcomes exist when trying to get together with an ex-girlfriend.

Also, there is the variable of whether or not she is single, in a relationship currently, or dating multiple guys casually. All of which presents its own set of problems and limitations.

In the situation where she is currently in a relationship, it can be extremely difficult to try to get back together with an ex, and most of the time simply not even worth trying to do. I mean, you have to both hope that her relationship ends, and that she’d even want to get back with you. Both variables are outside of your control.

When she moves on, it can be a definite thing, and once she’s confident in her decision, there is very little that you can say or do to help to change her mind. The reality of the situation is that she may indeed be gone for good, and if it has gotten to this point, that it is very likely that she is.

It is important that you start to see things how they really are. Stop the notions in your head that everything will all be fixed, if you just do one or two things, to make the relationship happen again. If you’re relationship has ended, then it definitely had problems, simple as that.

Thinking that things will be the same if you were to get back together is a form of delusion on your part. Even if you were to get back together with her, things wouldn’t be the same, the relationship would have to evolve into a new form in order to have a chance of succeeding.

Things change and people do too. If she has changed enough to move on from the relationship, then that is a good sign that you should probably do the same. At least enough to learn how to live on your own again, before trying to jump start the failed relationship.

make dem changes

Moving on, for your part, means learning to accept things as they are now and to learn to be happy on your own. Learn to cope with the loneliness and figure out ways to grow as a person, so that you can make a sound decision about what route you want to follow, either moving on completely or actually trying to make things work with her.

These addictive feelings you may have for her are not healthy, and are not a valid reason, to try and get back together. They are simply a form of dependency.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

How to Pursue a Reconciliation

There is a great deal of fear and uncertainty following a break up. This can be especially true, if you see your ex-girlfriend moving on, while you are still pining for her everyday. It feels like you haven’t really done anything with your life since she left.

There may be a fear that if you do not get her back that you will end up alone. That doesn’t have to be the case, there are plenty of other girls out there who are available, but you also need to be strong enough to learn how to be happy on your own.

Learn not to be stuck in the past, or chasing after your ex, who may no longer be interested in you.

 

Acceptance of the Outcome

Whether or not she ever gets back together with you, there needs to be an acceptance to move on with your own life, regardless of the outcome. If she comes back, cool. If not, also fine. Life can’t stop moving forward, just because one person, no longer wants the same relationship that they did before.

This is the first step towards getting past any break up. Plus, any reconciliation that takes place is basically a new relationship, and the old baggage needs to be left behind.

 

No Contact and Focus on The Self

In order to get back together with someone, you have to be able to re-attract them. This can be super hard to do and doesn’t always work…which is why we need to accept the outcome. However, one is definitely not going to appear attractive to another person, by constantly calling, texting, and begging for them back.

For this reason, a period of No Contact must be applied before trying to get back with someone. Now, you may already be in this stage, fine. Though, for guys who are still trying to convince their ex to come back, you should take a break. Desperation isn’t attractive.

People don’t like to be told what to do directly. They want to be able to come to a decision on their own, without negative influence. So, if she’s currently single, trying to convince her to get back together with you is going to be an uphill battle. She needs good reasons, that she arrives at on her own, not a daily sales pitch from you.

Time apart is necessary for healing to begin. If the relationship ended poorly, then, there’s going to need to be some time during which both parties can be on their own and get themselves in a better mental state.

Take the time during No Contact to focus on improving yourself. Focus on your faults that caused relationship friction. Get your life figured out and what you want from it. What are your goals as an individual, independent from her or any other woman you may meet?

 

Letting Go of Negative Thoughts if She’s Seeing Someone

Your ex may now be seeing another guy and you want to win her over to you because you have some fear that he may be a better man than you. A lot of this kind of stuff is simply ego. It comes with not being able to accept life and the changes that come along with it, you can’t stand losing because you perceive that your value as a man is lowered.

Basically equating getting your ex-girlfriend back with proving your self worth. This is a very unhealthy way to look at things and can lead you to do things such as meddling in her current relationship or trying to drive a wedge between them. Stop being desperate. Learn to be on your own and be happy on your own before deciding if you should try to spark things anew with her.

One question you definitely need to answer before deciding if you want to get back together with an ex is, what has really changed? If you and her were to get back together today, why would it work out this time? What has been resolved in the underlying issues of the relationship?

If the answer is not much in the way of positive changes, then you’re chasing a false dream. Going back to a girl simply because you now miss her, because she is seeing someone else, or your options are limited; is pretty damn lazy and a waste of time. The two of you may be on completely divergent paths now and going back simply is not an option for you. Most relationships don’t work out for the rest of your life, but each one is helpful in learning from and applying those lessons to future relationships with women.

If You Really Still Want Her Back…

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Her Back if She Hates You?

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Sometimes, after the demise of a relationship, things aren’t too bad between the former lovers and there is more clarity about reconciliation or simply moving on because emotions aren’t quite as intense and rationality is more prevalent. However, there are other breakup situations in which one partner still wants his ex back while the other seems to have an intense dislike or yes, even hatred towards that person. Now, this ‘hate’ may be real and one that lasts or it may be a short-term reaction to something that you did or towards the end of the partnership. What can a guy do if his ex-girlfriend really dislikes him?

 

Give Her Time To Cool Off

In the middle of circumstances, emotions are running red hot and things are said, that might not be meant in the long-term. Our present lives are almost always paramount to things that happened years ago.

I bet we can all think back in our lives to things that really upset us in that time period. Though, now we are either indifferent towards them or simply laugh that we once cared that much.

This type of thing happens quite a lot in relationships, or when they end, because we kind of become addicted to that other person. Addicted to their presence, love, attention, etc.

These emotions can of course be intensified when the person we are upset at continuously shows up. Or interferes with our lives, instead of just letting us have time to reflect and cool off.

Time to cool, might be a while

Your now, ex-girlfriend or wife, is probably pretty pissed at you…to the point you had to search out an article on how to deal with her hatred. So, to start with you are already at a great disadvantage in terms of an attempt to win her back.

In order to try to get out of such a predicament, one must assess the likelihood of turning her feelings back. She needs to feel something positive towards you and the first step is letting her have time.

Going no-contact is a popular method for dealing with breakups, and for good reason, it lets emotions settle down among both parties. Even though your impulse is to try to talk, reason with her, beg, apologize, and the like…it is actually the wrong course of action to take.

First of all, the two of you need to think about your own lives, and the very real possibility that the relationship is indeed over for good. Secondly, the constant calling and texting, will make you seem desperate and even if you are, it makes you even more unattractive or annoying in her eyes.

Let her have space and let yourself have some too. You need time apart from one another, as it lets things calm down and become more rational. This time can be a very lonely and trying experience and the urge to contact her must be resisted for at least a month or two.

During this time period, you should work on all aspects of your life and figure out if you should move on from her and start dating other girls (if need be). If you are honest with yourself, in most situations, the best move will be to learn to let her go and chart a new path for your romantic life.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Think About What You Did to Piss Her Off So Much

Okay, so this lady may or may not actually hate you. Either way, what did you do to get her in this state?

If you cheated on her, then this only adds another layer of complexity, and  further lowers your chance of getting her back. Many people are not forgiving of a transgression such as that, and even if they do take you back, the dynamic of trust in the relationship is shattered. The couple will then, need to work extensively to move past it, as an obstacle.

Whatever it is that you have done to anger her, think about what it is, why you did it, if it’s a behavior that you seem to repeat often, and why you haven’t changed this behavior.

Is this something that you can improve upon or even change completely? If you were caught with another girl, are you really ready to give up other women in your life for good?

If not, you may not be ready for a long-term committed relationship…which is fine. At least be honest with yourself, that you would really rather hookup with a bunch of women, versus being exclusive with her. Don’t simply fall into an emotional space and demand to get her back, because your ego is hurt that she’s gone.

What are these things that you need to fix in order for her to take you seriously in the future? Figure it out and come up with a plan on how you are going to remedy these issues.

It gets lonely sometimes

Figure Out If She Really Does Hate You

After a time apart from one another, she may have softened enough to be willing to talk to you and interact further. On the other hand, she may want nothing to do with you and is moving on with her life.

If that’s the case, it is a really good idea to respect her wishes and simply let her do what she wants. You cannot force someone to like you, and trying to keep up a pursuit of reconciliation, just becomes pathetic at some point. People tend to just get stuck in the past, instead of charting, a better future.

However, after a period of no contact, it may still be uncertain to you whether she will be receptive or not to accepting you back into her life. Here is a post about signs that your ex may want you back.  At this stage, you may have come to the conclusion that you do indeed want to try and restart a dialogue with her.

The dialogue can usually be started through text message, just to feel out how she perceives you at this point in time. She may not respond or give short and terse answers. A reply is better than no answer at all. From there, it is a progression of getting her to talk to you more often, hashing things out, and agreeing to meeting up with you.

 

What’s the first move?

If the goal is to get back together with an ex, then obviously contact with them, must be had in order to move forward. Luckily, thanks to the power of technology, the barriers to entry are much lower. We no longer have to call and pray for an answer or try to randomly arrange a meeting with a go between.

Now, cell phones have given us the ability to send text messages. Why is this a good thing? You have all the time to craft the right message. They have all the time to respond. Maybe they don’t want to right away, but maybe they will later. It requires little effort and there’s no face to face meeting, right off the bat. Sounds pretty ideal.

 

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships. How he uses it in his program:

Hopefully, you downloaded the free reports from earlier in the post, explaining what not to text an ex when trying to get back with them. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as a basic introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. It is easily downloadable and available almost instantly, no waiting for shipping.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Should You Try to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back from Her New Boyfriend?

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There seems to be a definite abundance of cases in which guys still want their ex-girlfriends back…even when she is now with another guy. I mean, she has a new boyfriend, has seemingly move on with this relationship, and you still want her back? Hmmm, that’s a hard one to pull off and one in all honesty, may not be worth the price of admission, so to speak. The name of this website is exbackormoveon.com and the real question that people need to seriously ask themselves is built into the title, should you try to get your ex back or should you just simply move on with your life?

 

Let’s Consider the Moving On First

Honestly, the best answer for your future and well-being, is probably the one you don’t want to hear in the moment. The fact of the matter is, if your ex-girl is now in a relationship with another guy, you should be making preparations to move on with your own dating life. Whether or not, you ever do get back together, you should mentally prepare yourself to push forward with your own life independent from her.

Forgetting about someone is definitely tough and the loneliness is downright awful at times. However, it is simply in the nature of things that new relationships occur, mature, and indeed ultimately perish. There is no good reason that you should be wasting your  years hoping for someone that might be gone for good…not to say that it can’t happen again with them. Only that, now isn’t that time, and that you should be building a quality life for yourself regardless if they come back to you or not.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Not To Do and What To Do whether Moving On or Not

What is certain about such a situation is that chasing after the girl, obsessing, and making bold declarations of love is not the path to take. It only serves to make a man look desperate (which is inherently unattractive) and will most likely repel them further away from you.

Taking the opposite tact and focusing on improving your own life and allowing new girls to flow into it is the best course of action to take? Why? Well, not only will it help you cope and move on without her, it will also raise your perceived value. So, on the off chance in the future your ex-girlfriend wants you back she will see that you can indeed survive and thrive without her.

Stagnation and obsession are not attractive qualities. In order to get any woman, even one who already knows you, she has to believe that you’re her best option for getting what she wants. If that’s a successful relationship, she’s probably not going to want to run back to a failed one, when absolutely nothing has changed and feelings have soured toward one another.

Also, you cannot give a damn about the other guy. Her new boyfriend IS her boyfriend now, not you, so talking shit about him or sweating their relationship isn’t going to make her be a big fan of yours. He is her preferred choice, at the moment, and if you try to force her hand (to break up with him), she’s going to stay with him (and probably be that much more committed).

A lot of this is outside of your control, as you’re dealing with two external variables (your ex and the new man), but what you have control over is you. You can control what smart things you do and what things you shouldn’t do to further mess up any potential chance at reconciliation.

Understand, that it can often take a long time for an ex-girl to even want to come back to you and at that point, it might be you who wants nothing to do with them. I’ve had exes contact me 4-5 years after the fact. As if, time had stood still for me, and that I would even be interested in rehashing such an old relationship.

Sure, her current relationship with another guy could be one that isn’t very serious and if it doesn’t work out she could come back and start sniffing around to rekindle your relationship…but you can’t bank on that, so it makes sense to prep for the more likely scenario.

How to Handle the Thoughts of Her Sleeping with a New Guy?

This is where a lot of men mess up, I think. They can handle not being desperate or texting her all of the time or whatever, in normal circumstances. However, once the thoughts of her having sex with the new boyfriend start creeping in his mind, that’s when everything comes off of the rails and he’s back to acting desperate.

I’ve written a whole post, How to Handle an Ex-Girlfriend Sleeping with Other Men, so I won’t rehash everything here. Suffice to say, the road to acceptance, if a huge part of being able to have any sort of future with this girl. Even if she comes back, you cannot have these thoughts derailing you, when trying to start a new relationship together.

More importantly now, these type of negative thought patterns can stir up anger and other emotions, that aren’t going to be a help to what you want to accomplish. You have to be able to keep your cool, through this process, and accept whatever outcome results.

 

Taking Time Away

In this situation, there is already an established time apart from one another, that was put in place by her. She has a new boyfriend and therefore cannot be talking to her ex, constantly. From the other side of things, you need to follow that lead, and do a period of No Contact with her. It’s pretty easy to enforce, just stop badgering her.

But won’t she forget about me? Won’t that push her to the other guy more? Again, we can only control our variables, and not what she is doing. If we try to interfere with her decisions, she’ll likely just get pushed further from wanting anything to do with you. There is also no guarantee that she’ll feel closer to that guy in a month or two. He might actually suck. Though, maybe he’s an awesome match for her.

That’s another thing outside of our control, but there are plenty of times, when people get into relationships with people who turn out to be less than expected. A quick period of being super into them, and then experiencing what they’re actually like, which can create disillusionment.

She might dump him or he might dump her. We don’t have any clear insight into their intentions, so biding time, is the best strategy.

Anyhow, the time apart is important. It’ll give you clarity about your future, the intense emotions calm down, and you can make yourself a better man. All of which is a prerequisite for starting a second relationship, with an ex-girlfriend, because the original one is done for good no matter what.

With more information becoming available to us over time, we can then make much better decisions about how to proceed. We are coming at it from the point of view of what is more attractive to a woman: Her annoying ex-boyfriend who calls or texts constantly and is super jealous OR her ex-boyfriend who isn’t bothering her, seems cool with her decision, and is improving his own life?

 

What to Do During No Contact

What would any potential attractive situation for her getting back together with you entail? What were the downsides to the relationship? Did you have anger issues? Lack of commitment? What was it?

One needs to be honest with themselves, about what they need to improve upon, or else you’re going to get the same results…again and again.

Begin to work on your own faults, during this time apart. Not only that, but improve upon aspects of your life that YOU want to focus on, regardless of her.

This can include:

  • improving yourself physically. It’s the basic way of sparking attraction, after all.
  • Working on any emotional problems, negativity, listening skills, empathy, etc. I had some anger issues when I was younger, like real quick to get pissed off, and that was one of the first things that I changed about myself when self-improving. People I hadn’t seen in a while, would always comment how mellow and happier, I seemed. These changes can be a huge part of how people perceive you. Including, those who’ve known you for a long time.
  • Financial and/or career. Money and the path you’re taking in life, can have a big impact on your relationships. Not only that, but also for you as an individual. Take the time to assess what you want and if you’re even on the right path.

 

Establishing Contact

So, after 30-60 days or no contact, the picture will become clearer and it may be time to try and re-establish a connection with the ex-girlfriend. If she was just in a rebound relationship, it very well may have already run its course, and she might be looking to jump ship. Heck, it might have ended already after 1-2 months.

Probably the easiest way to begin to establish contact once again, is through text messaging. After all, it is non-intrusive, and doesn’t require very much to get her to respond. The easiest way to get her to talk, is usually the best way, set the bar really low.

Where does one begin? Well, there are all sorts of variable that can come into play. Knowing where to start is a process of learning. Fortunately, relationship expert Michael Fiore, has a program for getting back in touch with and winning over an ex, called: Text Your Ex Back.

This has been used by thousands of people to re-kindle their broken relationships. Hopefully, you had a chance to download the free guy, linked towards the top of the page about what not to text to an ex-girlfriend. Michael’s program will show you, what you SHOULD text them, and is risk free to try for 60 days. Click the picture below, to watch a video on the process.

 

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Forget About Your Ex: Getting Over it and Moving On

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There comes a time, after we have been dumped, cheated on, or gotten out of a toxic relationship, when we just want to move forward with or lives and no longer think of our ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s natural and admirable to want to push forward, without someone we were so close to for so long. However, often, just getting them out of our minds and forgetting the exist for long enough to focus on other areas of ourselves can be an absolute grind. Though, we know inherently that there must be a way out of the fog, but how do we ultimately forget about an ex completely?

 

What are These Feelings?

Many of the feelings that come with the ending of a long-term relationship are negative, in part, because there is a fear of one’s old way of life collapsing and that things will never be the same again. It seems like a really scary thing, that life will no longer carry on as it has before, and that uncertainty will rule the day.

The thing about it is, life is always changing. and people will come in and out of your life. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the life of a human being is.

If your an older reader of this website, I’m sure you can remember dating someone who felt very significant to you in high school or college. When the two of you broke up, it almost certainly seemed like a really big deal, to your young self. Nowadays, you probably don’t ever think about them, and if you do it surely isn’t as emotional as it once was for you. It becomes sort of a faded memory or a pang of nostalgia.

Younger readers, probably don’t have the same experience in dealing with break ups of relationships. This experience and flood of emotion is a new thing for you. I know how tough it can be the first time something like this happens in your life. However, billions of other people throughout time have successfully gotten through it, so you can indeed get through it also.

Just understand that these powerful emotions can make you more impulsive, than you usually would be. As such, we must take care, not to let ourselves make any really poor decisions during the healing process.

What Can One Do?

As I have moved my way through life and experience my own heartbreak, I have come to learn how to get over my feelings for my ex-girlfriends and keep pushing myself forward. It isn’t always an easy or even a pleasant process to have to get through, but I always feel that at the end, it is a rewarding one.

After all, nothing worth having, isn’t a difficult thing to attain. The highs of love wouldn’t be as high. if they weren’t accompanied by, the lowest of lows after a relationship has ended. Each time, I have grown as a person, and gathered plenty of wisdom about what I want or who I don’t want around me.

I have found out over the years that a lot of the addictive qualities of my past relationships were spurred on my a sort of co-dependency with that girl. Meaning, I was always searching for that next ‘high’ and expecting her to validate my feelings and self-worth, just as I had done for her.

I have found out the hard way that if I am not happy with myself first, that, I can never be happy because of her. She CANNOT make me happy. A relationship is there to simply enhance my life experience and perhaps to grow along with one another. Searching for happiness through, relationship after relationship, is ultimately a pointless endeavor.

Going No Contact with Them

Another thing that I always like to do for some period of time following a relationship is applying the No Contact Rule. I do this, to simply give myself some breathing room, without their influence over my emotions. The more I am away from them after a break up, the faster I can return to my rational state of mind. No Contact forces me to be on my own and learn how to function in my life without my ex-girlfriend. I wrote about this process in detail, here.

Time is a very important factor after a break up. A break up is a loss, emotionally. It definitely takes the wind out of your sails for quite a while. What I always allow myself to do after a break up is to essentially grieve its loss for some time.

I allow myself to feel these emotions and not try to cover them up or ignore any pain that I feel. I pull myself together in order to get through the work day, or whatever else, I might have going on. Though, when I get home I can be by myself, and truly let myself feel the loss.

I usually set aside a set amount of time during the evening, if I need it that day. This process doesn’t go on forever, but, it is important to get emotions out in a healthy way. I strictly adhere to a time limit for each day, though. So, I might give myself an hour to feel bad, meditate, and let go of those emotions for the day. I don’t allow myself to continue to wallow and reinforce the bad feelings.

Transitioning to the Positive

How I transition out of those negative feelings, is by slowly adding more and more positive activities into my life. Exercising, reading, meditation, or whatever else that lets me have positive emotions, I will use to replace me moping around the house or crying about the break up. This reinforces good behavioral patterns, and allows me to feel positive feelings, so that I am not just stuck in some dark place for an extended period of time.

It is important to note that, these positive activities can be extremely small things, which add up in the cumulative. So, listening to upbeat music might be one way. Initially, I just want to alter my mood towards the positive, as much as I can. It’s a small step, but our brains sort of need to relearn to be in a normal state during this time.

I also use this time post-breakup, to alter my feeling towards my now ex-girlfriend. I stop myself from idealizing the relationship and only focusing on what I thought were the good times between us.

I adopt a realism, that our relationship had enough problems that it needed to end when it did. Even if we were to re-kindle things, it would have to grow into a different relationship or fail again. I will eventually remind myself that, there are indeed other girls worth pursuing, and eventually start dating again in due time.

On the other side of the coin, even if I dislike her strongly for how things ended, I don’t give into the hatred. I want to accept things as they are and let go of her as an influence, not build her to be some kind of adversary in my own mind.

I know that I have to accept the fact that the way I may feel is not the way she might feel. Meaning, if I still want a relationship with her, I must accept the fact that she might simply just want to move on with her life without me. She may still love me but not want to be with me.

I must accept that things have indeed changed, to the extent that, the same relationship together is no longer possible. Significant changes would have to be made, for us to even think about being together in the future.

The best way to move on from an ex after a relationship is to focus on yourself and your life. Growth is an important aspect of moving on because you can’t get past your emotions if you’re constantly revisiting the past. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, find ways to experience positive emotions, find new ways to grow and experience life, and accept that things are no longer the same and your paths may not cross again. Here are some other helpful posts:

Stop Being Needy Post-Break Up

How to Cope with Loneliness

Ex Back or Move on Homepage

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Why Won’t My Ex-Girlfriend Reply to My Text Messages?

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The modern communication abilities that we have thanks to technology have been absolutely great for guys in their dating lives. Texting and apps like Tinder have enabled us to avoid calling the old fashioned house phone and talk to as many available girls as we want. However, it has also empowered those women, including our ex-girlfriends to ignore our text, Facebook, or other direct messages whenever it suits them. Why would an ex ignore your texts and ultimately just not respond to them? Well, why one may be ignoring you specifically is a tough nut to crack without having the exact details and circumstances involved (and no I’m not Dr.Phil trying to solve all your woes) BUT what I can do is present some common reasons that your old girlfriend just isn’t going to talk to you.

 

She’s Moved On

One thing you should know about women. When they’re done, they’re done (most of the time). Yes, you can have situations for a while where she isn’t exactly sure how to feel about you, she might still talk with you, or even sleep together. At some point, though, that final frontier is crossed and she is ready to move on with her life. Now, this can mean that she wants to be alone without a partner for a while or that she is seeing other guys. I know that it can hurt to thing about someone you were close with being with another, but it is a simple fact of life that we all must contend with from time to time.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

We do have to let go of people eventually and if there’s a good chance that she’s moved on, you should prepare to do the same. This means going about your life, making positive changes, working towards goals, and even dating other girls. Now, things may change in the future and a reconciliation may eventually be possible but while we can hope for the best we must plan for the most likely outcome.

Moving on isn’t always a finality. I have had ex-girlfriends break up with me and want nothing to do with me, only to later feel the need to contact me again. It’s a really weird phenomenon sometimes, like, you just need to let people go out and explore the world on their own…and the ideas they have in their heads, don’t work out as they thought. Then, they just start reaching out for anything familiar to them.

I had one girl that I dated, hit me up in successive years under the guise of both being ‘just friends’ and then also, trying to have a sexual relationship. I hadn’t spoken to her in years and had zero feelings toward her any longer, crazy, but it happens a lot to people.

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You’ve Become a Creep

When some people get desperate to get their ex back, they start texting the girl way too much, becoming almost stalker like, or even becoming violent/angry towards them. The violent aspect doesn’t apply to most guys, but many guys do text their ex-girlfriends a lot and come off as needy and weak.

If this applies to you, back off. Going no contact, might not get an ex-girlfriend to come back but it isn’t going to make things worse. The situation needs to cool off and both parties need their space to live their lives. Being the creepy or stalker-ish ex-boyfriend is a huge turnoff to women and it isn’t going to make her respond to whatever texts may come her way.

I’ve never successfully gotten a girl to come back, trying to go the texting and explaining route. However, I have gotten girlfriends to become interested in me again, after I went No Contact and stopped making myself appear desperate to have her back in my life.

Obsessiveness and desperation are major turn offs for people. Yes, she knows you well after dating for so long, but that relationship is now severed and it becomes quite easy to push her further away while desperately trying to grasp her attention back to you. Guys really need to chill with this shit.

She’s Up on a Pedestal…and You Put Her There

This is a offshoot of the last point. Texting a girl a lot and becoming really emotional about her is quite repulsive to women. Don’t treat her as if she is some sort of perfect angel and that your life is over without her (it isn’t). Why would she respond favorably towards a guy she knows she has some control over and can get him back any time she pleases? Where’s the challenge? Where’s the equality in the relationship?

Essentially, you make yourself less attractive as a man because you’ve ceded your masculinity and everything that she probably used to find attractive. Don’t beg. Don’t be a lapdog. Use this time period as an opportunity to improve your life, regardless if she ever comes back or not. Chicks come and go BUT the one constant in your life is YOU.

Which guy would she be more likely to go back to?

The guy who texts and pretty much obsesses over her or the guy who is out doing positive things with his life and seeing other women? The answer is the latter.

The post-breakup period is a trying time emotionally, I get it, I’ve been there. The problem is, when we’re hyped up in these insanely emotional states, we do dumb things that we believe will ‘solve our problems’ but really just destroy our chances of resolving anything.

One of the dumb things we do, is to go into begging and pleading mode. Or better yet, the complete idealization of her and the relationship, but if everything was so perfect…it wouldn’t have failed.

 

She’s Just Pissed Off at You

Sometimes, it isn’t a big thing where she’s moved on or she’s lost interest in you. It might just be a temporary situation, where she’s completely pissed off at you and needs more time to cool off before she’s ready to talk to you.

This one isn’t such a big deal usually, unless you did something really terrible like cheat on her…then yeah, you might be fucked. There can be lots of little reasons she might not want to respond to anything you say at the moment. This is just a storm you’ve got to ride out.

Emotional states change and the thought patterns that make someone be really mad, eventually pass, and they can think rationally once again. Time apart allows cooler heads to prevail and give someone clarity about what they want and don’t want in their lives. That clarity might make a woman realize, that the relationship she just ended is the best option for her in life, and that the anger she felt wasn’t really anything major.

 

What Can You Do When She Won’t Reply to Your Messages?

Really, the best moves you can make are to:

1. Not send any more messages, see the no contact rule post

2. Prepare to move on, even if she comes back.

The first aspect gives her space and allows you to stop coming off as really desperate and unattractive. While the second, makes it easier to move past the breakup if it is indeed a permanent thing and it very well might be.

Of course, your own situation will vary but as far as a general point of view that about does it. There are some many variables and reasons why she may not be responding but the only one who knows for sure is her.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex at some point. She’s not currently responding to your texts, but at some point, she very well could.  Of course, we still have to give things time, and let the situation settle down but texting can be an amazing weapon to give things another try.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back” program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of television shows, to discuss his methods at repairing broken relationships.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Back if She Just Wants to be Friends

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Ah, the dreaded friend zone. This is a spot which is usually reserved for guys who a girl has no romantic interest in initially and not a guy whom she has already dated. However, there are circumstances in which after a break up, your ex-girlfriend might tell you that she just wants to be friends with you now, and that she doesn’t want the two of you to hate each other. In principle, being friends with your ex doesn’t seem like such a bad proposition but it can turn out that way, based on the feeling you still have and what her true meaning is exactly. In my experience, the whole just being friends thing, doesn’t really mean that the two of you are going to be best buds and hang out all of the time. So, in this post, I want to explore a little bit of what it means for you and your ex to be ‘just friends’ and if there is a clear methodology to get yourself out of said situation or if it is even desirable.

 

I Want Us to Be Just Friends

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

 

Alright, so, you and this girl have had a sit down or she has texted and informed you of your new found friendship. You may have agreed that the two of you should remain friends in the aftermath of the breakup, even though, you probably didn’t really mean it. From your end, you still want her back as a girlfriend and are only being amenable to friendship, so that you can stay somewhat close to her.

Let’s just be honest from the start here, you are still sexually attracted to this girl and have romantic feelings towards her…there’s no purely Platonic relationship here and while you still care about her, you’re not her friend!

On the flip side, she is suggesting being friends in order to either let you down gently and diminish your intentions of you trying to get back together with her or she is planning on keeping you around for other purposes. Being stuck in the friend zone means that you will be giving away your time and attention in exchange for something you don’t actually want (the illusion of true friendship).

In that situation, her emotional needs and need to have someone to download all of her problems onto is met by you, her now ‘neutered’ ex-boyfriend, while she can go out and get her physical needs satisfied by other men…whom she still has sexual attraction to. Listen to this clip below, for a great explanation of the ‘Time Ho’ phenomenon, and see if it doesn’t describe your current situation.

 

 

 

Listen, man, the break down of this problem is actually quite simple. If you really just want to be friends, have other girls around, and no longer have any type of real attraction to this girl…then by all means, go be a friend zoned guy. If you actually just want to get back with her or you are undecided if that’s the best course of action to take, then, don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that the two of you are pals.

It’s an either or thing. You can be friends with an ex if that same spark is no longer there OR you can still desire her and want to reconcile the relationship. Trying to play it both ways, isn’t tenable, in the long-term.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Escape from Friend Zone Mountain

Removing yourself from the friend zone is a laborious process. The first thing that I would consider, is if being with this girl is truly what I want or am I just carrying leftover emotional baggage.

If it is the latter, then, I would suggest getting to work with moving on with your life and letting go of this failed relationship…there are literally billions of others out there for us to pursue. Getting past it, is mostly a function of time mixed with the pursuit of personal growth, so that your life doesn’t stagnate and you don’t become consumed with the past and what was.

If you are hellbent on getting out of the friend zone and trying to get back together with this girl, however, just know that while it can be done, it is never a guarantee to work. Ask yourself if you really want to spend time chasing something that may never be and even if it comes to fruition, it won’t be the same as it once was. Luckily, this decision doesn’t have to be made on the spot, as the best path to follow whether moving on from or trying to get out of the friend zone with your ex-girlfriend is the same…at least initially.

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone with an ex? Yes, I’ve done it before but the funny thing is, I no longer wanted those girls around by the time they became interested in me once again. It works out that way sometimes, where you’ve grown as a person to the point that a girl you once were really into, no longer holds the same meaning in your life.

That’s why taking time apart can be so damn important. Emotional distress and everything that comes with it, can push you towards one outcome, that you may not actually want for yourself in the long-term. It’s sort of a temporary state, where you can’t really make good decisions.

No Contact? Hell yeah, No Contact!

In order to extricate yourself from the friend zone, you must not allow yourself to get sucked deeper into it. That’s an impossible task if you are constantly answering her phone calls and listening to her complain about her day. You cannot allow yourself to get dragged further down into the abyss and becoming an utterly neutral man in her eyes (i.e. she doesn’t feel that sexual attraction) because that will only increase the severity of the problem.

I’ve already discussed the No Contact Rule in length, here. As such, I’m not going to delve into it in this article. However, I will say that you will need to go roughly a month of no contact, so that you can even begin to start crawling out of the friend zone. But…but…won’t she forget about me? Only if you’re forgettable. Besides, you cannot think like that, you have to be willing to lose a girl completely. Even if that fact hurts to think about, as men, we have to cultivate the ability to walk away from situations because our disinterest can sometimes be the only way of preserving our respect.

When that high level physical and emotional interest (on her end) no longer exists like it did at the start of the relationship, one has to choose the most attractive path available. For most guys, this means either some level of indifference, or being the lapdog who begs for her back. The first one is way more attractive, than the chick repellent that is desperate behavior.

 

What to do During No Contact?

What I would suggest doing during this No Contact period is taking a hyper-interest in yourself and your life. Yes, self-development is the main thing that I would focus on. I cannot spend my time solely thinking about her, and how much I can’t wait for this period of time to end, so that I can send her a text message again.

This type of obsession seems to be common, especially among men, as we usually have a tougher time dealing with breakups and the emotions that follow. We also, will usually develop strong feelings for women, if they happen to be the only option that is around. In this case, our ex-girlfriend was our main squeeze, and when we lose her henceforth it becomes almost a compulsion to get her back.

While I think it is a terrible idea to jump into a serious relationship right after you just got out of one, I think that it is a great idea to starting dating casually again, in order to gain clarity. (If you suck at getting girls, I’ve written two Kindle books on this subject: Game without Games and Online Dating for Men ) Going out with other girls does multiple things…

First, it allows you to viscerally understand that your ex is not the only girl out there who may be a decent match for you. Thus, her hold on you is lessened. It also might make it clear for you, that you don’t actually need to pursue your ex-girlfriend, anymore.

Secondly, it diffuses your interest among many girls instead of concentrating it on the one you don’t have. Think about it, if you have 20 girls who you can text with and probably get to meet you out somewhere, are you really going to be as attached to the one who currently has you stuck in the friend zone? Probably not.

Thirdly, your value on the sexual market is raised. If many women want you or hang around you for dates, you are a much more desirable man in the eyes of every other woman (including your ex).

People’s perception becomes their reality. For example, if two identical men are at a crowded bar and one of them is standing alone while the other is surrounded by people, which one has more value? The man with lots of friends and women, even though he is identical to the man that is standing alone. It is mere perception of value that changes the level of attractiveness.

What that means for your ex-girlfriend, is that if she’s noticing that your are getting along fine without her, the idea that she made a mistake might start creeping into her head. After all, these other women seem to be enjoying my ex, maybe I had something really good and let it get away.

Whether she starts thinking that or not, the idea is to sort of reset the conception she has of you in her mind. Start dating other girls during this no contact period and keep it going after contact has been established.

Other things that you can do in order to start raising your value is to change your physical appearance for the better, learn new skills, start new projects, find new social activities to engage in…really anything that alters the perception of who you are (and that you enjoy doing) will begin to dissolve her old perception of you and help to recast you in a new light.

Go hard. Really plan it out, as to how you’re going to improve your life, whether she’s around or not. It’s a winning move, because your life gets better, and a man with an awesome life is really attractive to women; even those who’ve dated you before.

 

What to Do Post-No Contact

Well, reestablish contact with her.  Remember though, that you cannot act like the same old guy by begging to have her come back to you and all the desperate attention seeking things of that nature. Still have other girls lined up for dates. So, for instance, if you end up setting up a meeting with you ex on Wednesday, try having dates on Tuesday and Thursday (or other times during the week) so that your ex is just another girl in the rotation and not elevated above.

In my experience with getting out of the friend zone, I found that treating the failed relationship as completely done was the best course to follow. Whatever emerged with my ex after the breakup was an entirely new edifice that we were constructing and hence I couldn’t give her the same type of priority treatment she had when we were together.

I got back to her when I felt like it, I accepted offers to hang out at my convenience, I never broke my other plans just to go listen to her nonsense. In essence, I reclaimed my sovereignty as a man, and the girl had to work her way back to the top of the depth chart if she wanted more of my time. Even then, the result was to keep it casual, and we never ‘got back together’ beyond hanging out and hooking up.

Relationships should only be carried out on your terms. If she continues to stick you in the friend zone when you have no interest in that, then you can completely sever ties with her. Like I said, getting out of the friend zone doesn’t always work and there are going to be instances in which you cannot rekindle a romance. The good news is that, by the time you’ve figured out whether she might want you back, you may have already moved on to bigger and better things.

 

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get My Ex-Girlfriend Back If She’s Ignoring Me

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The time after a break up can be a confusing and harrowing experience to get through with your emotions in tact. At some point, in the ensuing weeks or months following the end of the relationship, your now ex-girlfriend can cut off contact with and flat out ignore you. This move can blindside a lot of guys because they’re not expecting it, as the girl that they were once super close with, now won’t even acknowledge that they exist. Why the hell isn’t she talking to me? What’s the deal with her ignoring my texts and phone calls? There are many potential reasons and variables associated with individual relationships but in this post I want to cover some of the common reasons that a woman will ignore you and some potential remedies for dealing with this situation.

 

With all of that in mind, let’s get into some potential reasons why an ex-girlfriend may all of the sudden no longer be paying you… any mind.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

Why Is My Ex-Girlfriend Ignoring Me?

Moving On Has Begun

Let me be clear, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she has moved on entirely or that she is gone for good. However, ignoring you could be a sign that she is preparing herself to move forward without you or is currently seeing other guys, to help get through the post break up period. Don’t freak out or anything, this isn’t always the case; but cutting off contact like this can be apart of the healing process for anybody after a relationship ends.

One can only begin to cope with emotions of loss and the void of loneliness once the constant stimulus is cut off of having to see and communicate with an ex. It’s really difficult to get one’s mind right when you have to constantly see someone who you’ve broken it off with. This is a potential reason why she is ignoring you when you try to communicate.

Moving on with another guy or multiple guys doesn’t mean that it’s a serious thing. Different people cope with the end of a relationship in different ways. A lot of this behavior can be traced to not wanting to feel alone or wanting to get away from the constant stream of negative emotions. It can also at times be a signal that a new direction in life is going to be taken.

This moving on also doesn’t have to involve anyone else. She may very well decide that she’s going to take a break from dating period, at least for a while. As such, she not only isn’t going to talk to any new guys, but she also may have decided to cut off contact from you too.

Finally, there is the possibility that she is trying to move on with her life, without the relationship. At which point, a man needs to respect that and do the same. Things change, time passes, and people enter or exit one another’s lives. It happens. This is probably the least likely reason because so many people have trouble moving past anything emotionally, but some folks do just cut ties and get on with living.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

 

She’s Irritated with You

This is more common when you are the one who got dumped. In the aftermath, you may still be really wanting to get back together and she’s not really having it. As such, we as men don’t take failure all that well at times, and so we begin to chase. We may start calling and texting her way too much in order to try and convince her to come back, which only serves to push her further away.  At some point, she’ll have had enough and just cut off all contact as a way to stop being bothered by the constant attention.

Yes, it can be tough to deal with and our brain’s will tell us to keep pursuing, but we also need to know when we should back the hell off and give her space. Keep in mind that being subservient and constantly available is already an unattractive trait, even more so once a relationship has dissolved and you are very familiar to her.

The constant chatter and behaving like a lap dog that is available at her beck and call makes her feel less attraction. So, stop doing it. Nobody likes it when someone is always buzzing in their ears. It can be difficult and there is this tendency to want to try and fix everything but you can’t really, at this point in time, so take a break and go No Contact if necessary.

So many people think they can just do some elaborate convincing and fix a broken relationship. In reality, it takes time, and effort. Some of that time, has to be spent apart from one another, in order to gain clarity about how each person wants to proceed from the breakup.

If you think that you may be texting her too much, you probably are.

 

She’s Going No Contact

Yep, your ex-girlfriend might be using the same Jedi mind trick on you. This is more likely, in the event that you broke up with her, and less likely if you were the one who got dumped.

No Contact doesn’t always mean that someone is trying to get back together with their ex, though it could. It can also be an effective tool for getting over someone or just trying to get themselves into a solid mental state without the heavy emotions constantly weighing on them.

No Contact Rule is a ‘rule’ for a reason, lots of people use it, and it is effective. It is a multi-purpose strategy, used to gain control of your life and emotional state, after such a dramatic change. Also, if they want to get back together, at some point. It’s like buying time, to see which way the wind is blowing, for or against a reconciliation.

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Anger

Of course, there’s the old standby reason, she’s really mad. This can be the case when cheating was involved or some bad argument took place between the two of you. The more upset she is, obviously the less likely that she is going to want to talk or text for a while.

Anger can go both ways, sometimes its a temporary phase, and eventually cooler heads prevail. However, if the anger and resentment is strong enough, it can be a complete end to the relationship with no reconciliation. Cheating as a break up cause, can often be a no win position to start from. Honestly, I wouldn’t take a girl back who cheated on me, so I expect that plenty of ladies out there also share the same principle.

In order to gauge this, you need to think about the specifics of your own relationship, and how things fell apart. This one is a very common reason, if the two of you have been arguing a lot. Obviously, if you said or did some foul things, and all of the sudden she stopped replying to your texts…there’s you answer as to why.

 

What’s the Response?

When being ignored, you can’t just go and start chasing. That tends to push them further away. The best prescription is to go No Contact on your end and give her space for a spell of time.

A period of no contact can last a month or two and during that time period things can become much clearer as to what path you should take.

That can mean that you eventually pursue a reconciliation or decide to move forward with your own life and leave this relationship on the heap of the past. You can’t always make a bold move in order to get someone back, this kind of thing requires a certain amount of patience, and sometimes the best move is to do nothing…for now, at least.

Eventually, if you are still interested in pursuing a reconciliation, then you can try texting her and opening the lines of communication. This is of course, a much easier task, if you haven’t completely pissed her off or cheated on her or were particularly terrible during/after the relationship.

 

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back Fast

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After getting dumped it is a common thing for guys to want to get back together with their now, ex-girlfriend. It is a very confusing and emotional time after a break up, because one has to deal with such a major change in their lives, and must find a way forward with or without the girl.  Whatever happened in the situation, these kinds of severe emotions can take their toll on a person and make people want to repair a relationship to what it was before.  The first thing that needs to be clear about getting an ex back quickly is that the underlying relationship will never be the ‘same’. It can be rekindled and fixed but it will always have to become a newer and better functioning relationship in order to move forward.

The ending of relationships are more often than not caused by more than just one problem. So, thoughts of wishing you could go back and change one thing are ultimately pointless, and counterproductive to getting things back on track. The first major choice one has to make before trying to win back an ex-girlfriend is if that is truly what you want or are you just chasing something you lost because you are currently in an emotional state. Before getting into steps to take to try to re-kindle a relationship, I am going to go over the reasons why it might not be such a hot idea right now. Getting a clear view of what you really want will help to decide what the next course of action should be.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Getting Past the Haze

Viewing a relationship through rose tinted glasses and idealizing your ex-girlfriend can be a really bad road to travel down. It is a good idea, however, to take a look at a relationship in as harsh and brutal light as possible. Really get down to brass tacks and examine what the relationship was truly like.

It couldn’t have been all sunshine and rainbows, right? This means make an honest assessment of what the problems were between the two of you. Was there too much fighting? Did someone cheat? What were the things you could’ve done better? What were the issues that she had, which you felt were bothersome? Seriously, what were the issues that led to the end? Even if you do end up getting her back fast, how long would it be before these problems rear their ugly head again?

If the woman broke up with you, things couldn’t have been going quite as well as you perhaps thought they were. She had her reasons for dumping you and even if you don’t know what those reasons are, that is no reason to deny their existence. I know that there is a lot of comfort in not being too critical of our own faults. However, an honest assessment doesn’t have to be a tearing down of one’s self-worth. It is constructive criticism in order to attempt for us to solve a problem.

Things may have been good between the two of you for a long time but broke down enough to where it was time for the relationship to end, at least on her part. It isn’t always a good idea to get back together for this very reason, things have changed to the point where the old feelings or ideals of being together are no longer valid. In this situation, trying to make the relationship work is like chasing a past point in time, which can no longer be reality.

Dependency Can Be the Problem

Love is an addiction in very simple terms. Emotionally and physically the feelings can be so intense, that when a break up occurs it can feel like a withdrawal of some kind of drug.

Conditioning of your behavior and expectations occurs during a relationship. You expect her to be there and it is reinforced day after day. Once she is gone though, that pattern is broken, and that stimulus is no longer being fulfilled. When those things are gone and nothing replaces that stimulus, it is easy to feel down. Staying away from drugs and alcohol is always a good idea, but especially after a loss, because it becomes an endless search to fill the gap of positive feelings.

True happiness is something which can only come from within one’s self. If happiness is ever dependent on another person, drug, food, experience or whatever, that happiness will disappear the moment that external force is taken away.

Relationships should come about to enhance one’s life, not to fill the internal emptiness, that one can feel when not in love. Since a dependency on another person has occurred, it is a good idea to let the fresh wounds of their absence heal. This is why the no contact rule, can be a fantastic tool to use after a break up, as it allows a person to re-acclimate themselves to a life without that other person. From there, that person can see what the next step to take is, with a clear mind.

This dependency on another person can be so strong, as to make someone feel like they want to fix the broken relationship, even when that’s not actually the case. There are plenty of guys who rationally know that their ex-girlfriends aren’t the right person for them, yet will still chase after her, just to help soothe that emptiness.

It gets lonely sometimes

Time Heals Wounds

The mind can play tricks on you immediately following a break up. That addictive quality of love makes one feel as if there is no life without that person being around and we tend to idealize them as something greater than they actually were. Idealization happens quite frequently and can trick you into thinking that your ex-girlfriend was the “One” for you and there are no other girls out there that can compare.

Trust me, I’ve had the same feelings myself in the past. At the time, it felt like a tremendous loss and as if I was a broken man. However, time passed and now those same girls really never cross my mind and if they do it is certainly not because I want to start a new version of our old relationship.

The pull towards the familiar and comfortable is strong, while the fear of the unknown is repellent. Think about other women you’ve dated in the past, do those old break ups bother you still? I hope not. Most likely you’re like me, and don’t think about those chicks any more, even if the relationship felt ‘really serious’ at the time.

Time is important for this very reason, it can be damn near impossible to figure things out after a break up because the emotional turmoil is so high. Making bad decisions when you’re emotional can cost you big time in the end and way more than had you simply waited for the storm to pass and allowing yourself to become rational again.

You can’t become one of those guys who becomes obsessive about the past and who’s life stagnates simply because he won’t let go of some idealized version of his previous life. Winning a woman back, goes way beyond just figuring out what to say to her, to mend the broken relationship. It’s also about you, as a man, being in a healthy mental state and comfortable with the outcome…even when she chooses not to get back together.

I’ve seen too many guys chasing after women and broken relationships, based solely on their inability to deal with loneliness, neediness, and just overall low self-esteem. It’s a very common and easy way to get stuck in bad relationships or never get over the one’s that didn’t work out. This is not something to be overlooked.

 

Has the Situation Really Improved Enough?

There were definite reasons for a relationship to end. There was a betrayal of trust or maybe you two just simply drifted apart. Let’s say for the sake of argument, that, you and your ex were back together today. What has changed to make things work this time?

Have you two agreed as to what the legitimate issues were with the relationship? Things aren’t going to work if he thinks that you’re a liar and you think that you’re the paragon of truth and virtue. Was the time apart a relationship repair? Probably not.

Accept the truth. If you two have simply moved down different paths in life, accept that the relationship is over, and get started on where you want to end up in the future. Don’t go back just to feel safe or because suddenly you’re dating options seem really limited, things aren’t going to go back to how they were.

Many times, getting back together is just a bad idea, and is a result of both people clamoring for something which feels certain when they don’t know what to do next. Sometimes it’s best to just accept things as they now are and learn from what has been, so that your future relationships can go a bit smoother.

Then, there are the specific challenges to a broken relationship. Sometimes, one of the two persons, has already moved on to someone else. Not only would one have to contend with fixing any relationship issues, but also potentially try to win back the girlfriend from someone else or determine if it’s just a rebound relationship or even just mentally cope with her sleeping with someone else.

All of these outstanding factors contribute to the likelihood of getting an ex to return to a relationship. There’s no guarantee of reconciliation, but there does need to be an acceptance of this fact, and a plan to move forward if the desired outcome isn’t achieved.

What’s Next?

Ok, so, the first aspect of this whole getting you ex back process, is to do an honest assessment of the relationship. This is to identify the problems, make sure that trying to fix things is actually what you want, or if you should just move on with your life.

Remember when I wrote about the importance of letting time pass? Here is where that takes on another layer of importance. With time, the bad things about your relationship tend to fade in your former partner’s memory. This doesn’t mean that time has solved all of the problems but what it does mean is that if they truly do miss you on some level, they can start thinking about the positive aspects of what once was.

This is where the No Contact Rule comes into play. It is a 30-45 day period of radio silence, so to speak. This time period allows you to get yourself together emotionally, let’s any anger or resentment cool off a bit, and prevents you from chasing her and coming off as needy and desperate.

What to do During No Contact?

The period of No Contact is all about you and getting yourself right. Not just to get you back up to a normal emotional baseline, but also to improve yourself as a man, to face any future outcome from a position of strength.

I’ve always liked to utilize self-improvement right after a break up because:

  • It benefits my mental and physical health
  • A better version of me, is the more attractive version
  • It can help bring clarity about what I want for my life

I usually break things down to the physical, mental/emotional, and life goals. So, during this period of trying to heal emotionally, and deal with the ex-girlfriend not being around; I use exercise, reading, meditation, and motivational speeches to keep the emotions in check and gain perspective.

I also take stock of my life and think of what goals I can set, achieve, or simply set a plan of where I want things to go…whether she comes back or not.

I’ve written more in depth on this period of being alone and how to get through it:

 

What Comes After the No Contact Period Ends?

If you have played things correctly up until this point, the two of you have spent significant time apart from one another, and you have both grown up and improved yourself as a person. You have had time to reflect on whether or not getting back together is a good choice to make or not. While they, have also had time to consider what their life is like without you.

From experience, the girls who for sure wanted to come back, usually made the first move in contacting me. I would always get a text or online message saying something like, “Hey, I was just thinking about you and wanted to see how you are doing.” Or something like, “I was driving over by (insert place) and it reminded me of (some time spent together).”

Don’t worry, if they don’t contact you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t want to get back together. Just them reaching out first, can be a really good sign.

If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them.

When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.

You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work? There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.

 

What’s the first move? Texting

After going through No Contact for 30-45 days, gaining mental clarity, and deciding that we do indeed want to attempt to reconcile with our ex-girlfriend…it is time to reach out and send the first message. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

It only makes sense, as:

  • There is no pressure to get them into a face to face meeting right away.
  • The response time is unlimited. Maybe the text doesn’t get answered immediately, but it’s going be on their phone until they decide to engage with it.
  • You can craft the right message to them and pique their interest after not communicating with them for a while.
  • It’s a direct line of contact and one that has a higher response rate than random phone calls or trying to get them to talk to you while out and about.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a methodology for getting an ex’s attention:

Hopefully, you downloaded the two free reports that were mentioned near the top of the page, which lay out what not to do and say when texting an ex-girlfriend. Both of these reports were written by Michael Fiore as a part of his “Text Your Ex Back” program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Mr. Fiore’s relationship advice. He has been on a number of shows, as seen above, to discuss his methods for rekindling a romance, by starting with some simple texting strategies.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Says She Never Loved Me…Really?

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Things get really intense during the time after a break up. Sometimes, things are said which really cut deep and hurt badly. One fairly common thing that gets said, is that, one partner never truly loved the other. When an ex-girlfriend says this, it certainly packs a punch. We start to question, how someone that we spent so much time with and assured us of their love, could actually say this sort of thing. Did she mean it? Is she just trying to piss me off? Let’s take a bit of a closer look at this situation and try to sort things out.

 

 

Does She Mean It?

Short answer: maybe.

On the one hand, yes, an ex-girlfriend could seriously never loved the guy that she was dating. She may have been fond of him or just stuck around for other reasons. Saying, ‘I love you’, during a relationship may have just been a way to get by and keep things going. There are some people who are either incapable of loving anyone or can love someone but will still be in long-term relationships with people they don’t actually love.

Another possibility is that the ex-girlfriend really did love the guy and is just acting spiteful during the post-break up period. This is just trying to elicit a response and hurt feelings. That’s a pretty shitty move, but the not ever loving the other person trope, is a complete lie.

The whole love thing can be really tricky at times and a downright ugly business. Hell, there are plenty of cases where a woman marries and has kids with a man that she doesn’t love, just to extract resources and her real sexual desires get met by other men she has affairs with.

I’m not trying to scare anyone off of dating or anything like that, but there always will be a certain percentage of the population, who simply aren’t great people when you get down to it.

 

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

How to Deal With It?

Love that isn’t reciprocated by the other party, hurts really bad. However, as men, we cannot continually chase these types of women and try to make them feel something that they do not. The best thing that can be done is to move forward without them in your life.

No guy likes hearing that we really weren’t the one that she was looking for. It makes the whole relationship feel like a sham and it sucks to hear that you may have been the only one who was fully invested.

Whether she meant that she never loved you or not, is actually irrelevant. In either case, one can get out of a bad relationship that would’ve only gotten worse as time went on. At the very least, you are dealing with someone who want to exact an emotional toll on you, or at the worst someone who is unfeeling and wants to use you.

Remember, there are always other options to date. Billions of women on this planet and even if only 1% like you, that leaves more chicks than you could ever possibly meet or date.  We all get burned by at least one during our dating careers and it’s really best to just deal with the emotions, loneliness, etc. and to mentally let it all go eventually. We cannot let one person have such a huge negative influence in our lives.

If she wants to be miserable and spiteful, let her be that way. You, on the other hand, don’t have to involve yourself. You can focus on your life and your goals and keep improving your situation. If others want to try and hurt your feelings, learning to let go of those negative emotions and not reacting to their provocations, really is the best strategy. Trying to emotionally hurt someone and then having to watch them not have any reaction to it, is really frustrating for the person using emotional manipulation. It’s like a boomerang effect on their spitefulness.

Forgiving them or not is a matter of personal choice. The main thing is to mentally let it go for your own future well being. Things can absolutely start to feel normal again with time, as long as one doesn’t dwell on the past and their feelings of anger or resentment.

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Can You Get Her Back If She Didn’t Really Mean It?

Sure, you can. The question is do you actually want to? It can take a lot of time and energy to fix a busted relationship, so, it’s not always worth it. This can especially be true for this situation. If someone is saying that they don’t love you, specifically to hurt, then why would a relationship with them be something you’d still want?

Now, if it’s the case that you hurt her first and she responded with that, then I’d say the odds of a reconciliation are much better. Though, there will still probably be plenty of trust that needs to be rebuilt.

If she truly meant it, then move on with your life. Recover from the pain and let it go.

If she didn’t really mean it, then it’s your own personal call, as to what you want in your life. There are a lot of variables and questions, that you need to answer, in order to figure out whether she is worth it or not. Again, if it was really a verbal battle between the two of you, she might have just said that in the heat of the moment and didn’t actually mean it.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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