Category Archives: Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Says She Never Loved Me…Really?

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Things get really intense during the time after a break up. Sometimes, things are said which really cut deep and hurt badly. One fairly common thing that gets said, is that, one partner never truly loved the other. When an ex-girlfriend says this, it certainly packs a punch. We start to question, how someone that we spent so much time with and assured us of their love, could actually say this sort of thing. Did she mean it? Is she just trying to piss me off? Let’s take a bit of a closer look at this situation and try to sort things out.

 

 

Does She Mean It?

Short answer: maybe.

On the one hand, yes, an ex-girlfriend could seriously never loved the guy that she was dating. She may have been fond of him or just stuck around for other reasons. Saying, ‘I love you’, during a relationship may have just been a way to get by and keep things going. There are some people who are either incapable of loving anyone or can love someone but will still be in long-term relationships with people they don’t actually love.

Another possibility is that the ex-girlfriend really did love the guy and is just acting spiteful during the post-break up period. This is just trying to elicit a response and hurt feelings. That’s a pretty shitty move, but the not ever loving the other person trope, is a complete lie.

The whole love thing can be really tricky at times and a downright ugly business. Hell, there are plenty of cases where a woman marries and has kids with a man that she doesn’t love, just to extract resources and her real sexual desires get met by other men she has affairs with.

I’m not trying to scare anyone off of dating or anything like that, but there always will be a certain percentage of the population, who simply aren’t great people when you get down to it.

 

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

How to Deal With It?

Love that isn’t reciprocated by the other party, hurts really bad. However, as men, we cannot continually chase these types of women and try to make them feel something that they do not. The best thing that can be done is to move forward without them in your life.

No guy likes hearing that we really weren’t the one that she was looking for. It makes the whole relationship feel like a sham and it sucks to hear that you may have been the only one who was fully invested.

Whether she meant that she never loved you or not, is actually irrelevant. In either case, one can get out of a bad relationship that would’ve only gotten worse as time went on. At the very least, you are dealing with someone who want to exact an emotional toll on you, or at the worst someone who is unfeeling and wants to use you.

Remember, there are always other options to date. Billions of women on this planet and even if only 1% like you, that leaves more chicks than you could ever possibly meet or date.  We all get burned by at least one during our dating careers and it’s really best to just deal with the emotions, loneliness, etc. and to mentally let it all go eventually. We cannot let one person have such a huge negative influence in our lives.

If she wants to be miserable and spiteful, let her be that way. You, on the other hand, don’t have to involve yourself. You can focus on your life and your goals and keep improving your situation. If others want to try and hurt your feelings, learning to let go of those negative emotions and not reacting to their provocations, really is the best strategy. Trying to emotionally hurt someone and then having to watch them not have any reaction to it, is really frustrating for the person using emotional manipulation. It’s like a boomerang effect on their spitefulness.

Forgiving them or not is a matter of personal choice. The main thing is to mentally let it go for your own future well being. Things can absolutely start to feel normal again with time, as long as one doesn’t dwell on the past and their feelings of anger or resentment.

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Can You Get Her Back If She Didn’t Really Mean It?

Sure, you can. The question is do you actually want to? It can take a lot of time and energy to fix a busted relationship, so, it’s not always worth it. This can especially be true for this situation. If someone is saying that they don’t love you, specifically to hurt, then why would a relationship with them be something you’d still want?

Now, if it’s the case that you hurt her first and she responded with that, then I’d say the odds of a reconciliation are much better. Though, there will still probably be plenty of trust that needs to be rebuilt.

If she truly meant it, then move on with your life. Recover from the pain and let it go.

If she didn’t really mean it, then it’s your own personal call, as to what you want in your life. There are a lot of variables and questions, that you need to answer, in order to figure out whether she is worth it or not. Again, if it was really a verbal battle between the two of you, she might have just said that in the heat of the moment and didn’t actually mean it.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Ex-Girlfriend Back After Pushing Her Away

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There are times when you have broken up with a girl, felt fine about it for months, and may have even moved on to some extent with your life. Then, there is the pang of loneliness or even nostalgia about the past. Did I make a mistake? Even after feeling like you have moved on from things and pushing an ex-girlfriend away, there is something inside you that implores you to get her back. Is this a good idea? Can it be done? Let’s take a closer look at things, once one starts to regret letting an ex-girl go.

 

 

Why and What Changed?

So, you pushed her away and now want your ex-girlfriend to come back? The first question that you need to honestly answer is why you did so?

Secondly, what has changed so much that you now need to do a reversal?

A complete 180 in the course of what you wanted after a break up does require some serious inquiry. Ask yourself, what were the fundamental reasons you no longer wanted her around and what were the major flaws in the relationship?

A change of heart can be a good thing, but not if it’s based solely on feelings and nothing concrete. Meaning, if the relationship wasn’t workable before, why is it going to succeed now? If you didn’t want her two months ago, why would you want her to come back?

Feeling lonely, while a powerful driver, is not a good enough basis for a relationship. As once you satisfy those lonely feelings you must contend with the reality that this person, may not be the best fit for your life moving forward. Yes, she may have been great at one point in time, but the two of you might have changed enough to no longer make that true.

Be honest about what you truly want with your life and with a relationship moving forward. What are her flaws that drove you away in the first place? What are the negatives about the relationship? Realistically, can they be resolved or are the beyond repair?

You had your reasons for no longer wanting to be together with your ex-girlfriend, get back to those reasons. Figure out how legitimate they are. Try to approach things with as little emotion and as objectively as you possibly can. This will help you find out if you truly do want to get back together or if you’re just dealing with the emotional aftermath of no longer being together. Relationships can be like addictions and that withdrawal period will almost always stir up a lot of emotional confusion. Don’t make a long-term commitment based on this emotions alone.

Win ex back now

How Did You Push Her Away?

Once one has determined whether or not a true reconciliation is what is wanted and decides against moving on, it is important to consider in what manner she was pushed away.

Was she simply ignored? Let down gently? Was the breakup messy? Was cheating involved? Have you already been dating other girls?

All of these questions and more can play into the odds of whether or not she will actually come back. Even then and even if she forgives, she still may not want to come back any longer. Some people will put up with almost any level of rejection, while others are ready to let go of the relationship, almost immediately.

If it was a clean break and she still seems to be sniffing around or is in contact with you, then, it is usually a much better scenario to start from. It becomes a whole hell of a lot easier to convince someone who wants to come back into the fold to do so, versus someone who holds a high level of bitterness about how things ended.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You Can Fess Up to a Mistake but Don’t Grovel

Once one gets to the point where he knows he wants to get back together and knows how much of a challenge (or a fair estimate) it is going to be to start things back up again, there needs to be a strategy as to how to go about things.

Following the No Contact Rule is a good start. However, it also depends on the circumstances. If the break up was really recent, then following a period of a 4-6 weeks of No Contact can be a really good idea, as it lets the raw feelings settle down.

If it’s been a while and there hasn’t really any been any communication between the two parties, then tacking on a period of No Contact really doesn’t have much effect, and one can move forward with trying to get back together.

One of the main mistakes that guys tend to make, is doing the whole pouring your heart out and begging for forgiveness thing. It’s a highly popular trope on TV and in movies. Much like most dating advice seen in cinema, it doesn’t really work, and can actually backfire.

If you pushed her away by dumping her, you’re coming from a position of strength. Why grovel and beg, it only makes one appear less attractive.

If you pushed her away by being needy, acting even needier isn’t going to help matters.

Avoid going that route, you can admit to mistakes, if they are brought up by her once contact is established but don’t go out of your way to beg for clemency.

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What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Regret Cheating On You

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There are plenty of relationships out there that have been doomed by cheating. When one finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with someone else, this creates a world of hurt and strong emotions. Naturally, after a period of time, the man wants to know that his now ex-girlfriend will regret that decision and feel bad about losing what she once had. So, what’s the best way to make an ex-girlfriend feel pangs of regret? Should you even bother?

 

 

What’s the Goal?

Okay, you’ve been cheated on, and now you have the notion in your head that you need to make your ex-girlfriend regret doing so. May I raise the question as to why you want to make this happen?

I mean, I get it, it can feel good to show someone up or have an ‘I told you so’ moment…but what is it actually going to accomplish for you?

Cheating in relationships happens a lot. Trust me. From both my personal experience and from running this website, cheating is not a rare occurrence and you’re definitely not alone in your feelings towards it.

However, why do you honestly want to direct your life’s energy towards getting some real or perceived feelings of revenge or superiority against someone? She showed you her true colors by cheating, which got you out of a relationship that was going to break bad eventually. Now you have the freedom to pursue what you really want.

I know, I know, telling a guy who has been cheated on not to want to make his ex feel massive regret about it, probably isn’t going to work. BUT I will say that, the way to make her regret cheating is actually the same thing you should be doing after a break up and throughout your life anyway.

 

Success is the Best Revenge

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

There is this really strange psychological dynamic between the two parties after a break up occurs. It is a notion that someone has to ‘win’ the break up. Meaning, one person has to do better in terms of their lives and/or the person they decide to date next. A lot of women refer to this as ‘upgrading’ to another man, who they perceives as being of higher value than their ex-boyfriend.

I cannot even fully describe how much I hate this concept and yet how much I have to encounter it. In my view, the broken relationship is like a time capsule of the period of time in which it lasted. Yes, they may be a horrible fit for you now, but they were once great (in at lest some aspects). Would I want to now date girls that I dated in college? Hell no, but they were a good fit for me back then. People change and I don’t have the need to hold a grudge against them for it, even when it ended poorly.

Back to the stirring up of regret in an ex. Now, because people have the need to ‘win’ the break up, the best way to make the regret or get revenge or whatever is to improve your life and future prospects beyond what they thought you were capable of.

Understand that people will always form judgments about you and who they think you are and have the potential to become. When one doesn’t conform to those expectations, it is a blow to the other person’s ego, because they were wrong. If they could be wrong about that, then there is a good chance that they were wrong about cheating or destroying the relationship with you. It’s kind of like selling a stock, right before it triples in value, and then having to deal with the fact you missed out on all of the upside.

So, in order to stir up feelings of regret in her, you should focus on your life and goals. Go out and fucking crush it. Get your career and business going into high gear. Get in better shape. Get more dating options. Work on your self-esteem and feel great everyday.

People are naturally comparative. Most likely, she’ll pretty much be doing the same things a year from now, and her life will seem stagnant when looking toward yours. Don’t think she’ll notice, if your life is amazing without her? Of course she will.

Now, with this being said, I still think you should let go of the idea of wanting to make her regret cheating. Accept it and move forward. Focus your energy on you and not trying to make her feel something. Simply as a byproduct of doing the things you want to improve in your life, she’ll notice and feel regret anyway and you won’t have to carry around all the negativity.

 

A Quick Note

It is indeed possible that she already feels massive regret and guilt about cheating. Even when it appears she doesn’t, that might just be a front, and deep down she knows that it was wrong. People make mistakes and while you don’t have to forgive them, there’s no need to waste your time and try to make an ex-girlfriend express regret either. Try to close that chapter of your life and don’t let her come back, even if she wants to fix things. The short-term of getting cheated on sucks but you don’t need to let it dictate your long-term future or self-worth.

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Feel Confident After Being Dumped by Girlfriend

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Getting dumped by a woman is a complete shock to one’s psychological and emotional systems. Not only does it bring one down and create a sense of longing for ‘better’ times, it can also raise doubts internally, about a man’s self-worth or how confident he should feel in his dating life going forward. Obviously, there are differing levels of impact on confidence. For some guys, it’s just a mere setback, while others experience complete destruction. A guy can also experience different hits to his confidence based on what girl in particular broke up with him and how long the relationship lasted. So, while we all know how it feels to have our confidence devastated post-breakup, how does a man begin to have confidence again? Does one need to start from scratch and build it back up or is there another way?

 

The Fundamentals

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The absolutely fundamental problem that most men have with their confidence is that it is almost entirely based on external factors.

What this means is that, when things are going well in life or when you had success or gotten a woman, you feel great. Really, you should feel great, as there are certainly pleasant experiences in life.

The problem comes into play when we tend to tie in these positive emotions into who we are (or more precisely, who we perceive ourselves to be). So, if we have social or business success, we feel good and then identify that positive boost to our self-esteem with being successful. Obviously, this creates a cycle of needing positive events or external validation to continue to have this level of confidence. Plus, whenever we get a negative experience (like being dumped), it immediately crushes us.

So, our lives then become this roller coaster of self-image. We ascend during the perceived good times and then come down with the full force of gravity during the perceived bad times.

If you get stuck in this paradigm, the only way out of it (and create confidence), is by chasing positive experiences. But as we’ve all experienced, it’s not a very stable way of going about things, and the lows can be extraordinary tough to get through.

 

Coming Off of a Crash

It’s getting closer to 10 years now, since I had my last major crash in confidence. In fact, it was the worst one I ever experienced, and forced me to have to change the way I dealt with confidence, self-image, etc.

There was no other way around it. I was highly depressed, could barely function in life, and began thinking of ending it all. I wrote about this experience in my book, Game without Games, and detailed how things fell apart for me.

I had grown up without very high self-esteem, which also meant few social and romantic opportunities, which fed into the low self-esteem. Later, I learned game (how to pick up women), and started to experience a lot of success. For a while, I felt amazing, my confidence got this huge boost based almost entirely on getting positive external validation from women.

Naturally, this wasn’t sustainable confidence. It was in fact, a complete fraud, there was no actual confidence. I learned this the hard way during the crash, when I had gotten dumped by two consecutive women, was broke, had no real future, and was almost flunking out of college.

For months, I sunk lower and lower, until I completely bottomed out during winter break that year. It was during these dark times, that I began to understand the problems with the popular notions of what confidence is.

Reading Stoic philosophy books, eventually allowed me to pull out of the negativity spiral and sort of reset my brain. The depression/sadness really wasn’t there anymore but for over a year, I felt very little emotion, and essentially rebuilt every aspect of my life. This metamorphosis shaped how I now approach confidence and has allowed me to let go of all of that old emotional baggage.

 

The False Internal Confidence

So, chasing external validation in order to gain confidence is a constant up and down experience. In fact, this is what gets us to this low point after a break up. This then leads to the other common aspect of trying to boost one’s confidence: having a high opinion of oneself in your own mind.

Now, while having a positive view of yourself is obviously a better option than having a low opinion, it is still flawed and can become quite out of touch with reality. I’m fairly sure that each of us has encountered someone, who has utterly convinced themselves of their own ‘greatness’.

They’ve amped up their own self-worth in their mind to unreal heights and then export that to the external world…which gets labeled as confidence, arrogance, egotism, etc. This method leads to a delusional sort of interaction with the world, in which any negative feedback or criticism is dismissed or ignored.

To me, basing your confidence on external sources is like constructing your confidence into a class mirror. It is easily shattered and difficult to pick up the pieces. Going the internal delusion route is like building a brick wall of confidence. Sure, it’s harder to penetrate, but it can still be busted through if the feedback you’re experiencing is bad enough.

 

Moving to Acceptance and True Confidence

I think that many people misconstrue self-confidence or social confidence with that of a skill based activity. We say that you must ‘build’ self-confidence, as if it is something that needs to be constructed, instead of being inherent in who we are.

For instance, if someone were to hand me a bow and arrow and told me to hit a target, I would not be confident in the outcome of that event. I might get lucky and pull off a positive result but I don’t have the requisite skills to have a high level of confidence. However, this use of the word confidence is not the same, as the one we are discussing here. As such, the prescription for improving confidence should not be entirely the same.

Technique training and practice would solve my archery practice, but not help me be at ease with my internal self. This is true at least past a certain point, as their may be some learning and practice required to truly internalize and make a shift on how self-confidence is viewed.

For me, I boiled down my lack of self-confidence to a non-acceptance of what is. Meaning, I was always chasing or trying to live up to a narrative of what me and my life needed to be instead of just allowing it to be. So, if I didn’t have a girlfriend, I felt like a loser or like I wasn’t ‘enough’.

I realized more and more how approaching my life in this way was having absolutely terrible results. Why in the hell did I need to become something in order to feel normal? Why was it that when I reached a certain level of social or financial success, I could still feel inadequate? Why should I keep believing this narrative in my mind about what I need to do to feel confidence, if it keeps leading me astray? What if I were to stop following these old ideas and just accept the fact that I am enough as is and don’t need to keep chasing some vague ideal self?

Learning to accept each moment of my life as it came about was a huge and life altering shift in perspective. I no longer needed anything to feel confident because I just trusted that I was already enough. Sure, I could make my life more enjoyable and pleasurable by having a girlfriend or getting a lot of dates or making money or whatever…but they were no longer requirements that I had to fulfill in order to be content with my self.

It’s a freeing experience because once you accept that you’re enough, you become free to explore the world around you without reservation. Criticism and rejection don’t make you feel low or terrible about life because there isn’t an attachment to some narrative in your head about what you’re ‘supposed’ to be.

You simply exist and can determine whether criticism is legit or if it is simply someone projecting their problems on to you or trying to hurt your feelings. You no longer internalize these supposed negative experiences, as there isn’t a self-image or narrative that you need to protect.

And, no, it doesn’t make you lazy or stop striving in life. On the contrary, I’ve gotten better results in every area of my life since the shift, because I can be completely honest with myself. I don’t have to deny reality in order to spare my feelings. If things aren’t going well with women or in social interactions, I can make adjustments to how I approach things, and not fly into a depressive episode because “nobody likes me”. It’s more of an “Oh, I should probably speak slower and more clearly in future conversations” or “Try to listen more and be more empathetic with others”.

It’s an amazing way to live because you start to get good at the things you do at a much faster rate.

 

The Post-Breakup

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

The unique part of the time period after getting dumped, is having to deal with the strong emotions. These are going to be there no matter what, since our brain likes to develop an addiction like attachment to our girlfriends, and so we experience these intense withdrawals.

While the physical sensations will still be there, we don’t have to follow the negative thought patterns that seem to accompany the intense emotions. I always like to disrupt the negative thought as it arises and then question its validity. Why am I thinking this way? What purpose it is serving? Is it only reinforcing this low confidence narrative?

Things can become much easier to deal with once you can recognize thoughts as simply thoughts and not take them as some sort of gospel truth. Our mind can lead us down rabbit holes and have us endlessly repeat the past, even when it serves no actual learning purpose…it’s like a TV show playing on a loop, at some point it’s been enough and time to move on.

Here are some posts about the post-breakup period:

 

Where to Start?

In order to let go and accept things as they are, one has to be able to constantly recognize and let go of the thought patterns which help cause poor confidence. Daily meditation is the best way that I have found to pull myself out of the internal narrative and view things from a more objective point of view.

The daily shift in my mindset is what allowed me to really make the change in perspective permanent and then no longer need the constant validation to derive some confidence. There are plenty of guided meditations on YouTube and other platforms that can get you started. It can take some time to fully take hold and shift one’s perspective, but it can be totally worth it in the long-term.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Over an Ex-Girlfriend You Have to See Everyday

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The time after a break up is obviously pretty tough. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be online searching topics about it, and instead be watching some random YouTube clips. It can be doubly hard to deal with, when you have to see an ex-girlfriend on a regular basis. Sometimes, we dated someone that we work with, go to school with, or have a lot of common social connections and avoidance becomes super difficult. Fear not, I am going to reveal the main tool that I use to not only deal with having to see someone each day, but even getting to the point where it causes zero bother. Oh and it helps in the rest of your social life, as well.

 

 

The Object vs. The Concept

Why is it painful or aggravating to have to see an ex-girlfriend all of the time after a break up?

Is it due to her actual physical presence being around you? Nope.

It has nothing at all to do with her. Rather, it has everything to do with how you view her in your mind.

Think about it. If you suffered some sort of amnesia or short-term memory loss, an ex-girlfriend could sit right next to you, and it would have none of the same effect that it currently does. It once again, has nothing to do with her, and is all in how your mind is perceiving and making judgments of her and the past relationship.

This is a huge breakthrough to come upon because you no longer have to ‘get away’ from an ex, in order to feel good about your day to day life. You can see them at work or school or socially and be completely indifferent about it.

What you actually must do is to learn to let go off the conceptions that you have of her and the attachment to the now defunct relationship. Once this is achieved, you get some serious mental freedom, and zero fucks given if she is around or not.

 

Letting Go of the Concept

A lot of other people will suggest that you distract yourself or turn your attention towards someone else. To me, that doesn’t really help at all. You then, just allow attachments to grow for another girl or you just bury feelings in work or some other distraction.

I have found that the only true way to let go is through meditation techniques. Also, you can supplement this with readings in Stoic philosophy, if you really choose to do so.

People inexperienced with mindfulness meditation and breathing techniques can often not see how such a practice would benefit them. It doesn’t have to involve any religious aspect or mysticism. Meditation can be used to clear one’s mind, let go of negative emotions, and stop the stream of thoughts that can make a guy feel trapped that he has to see his ex-girlfriend.

Not only that, meditation can begin to effect every other part of your life in a positive way. For me, it allowed me to fully let go of my anger issues, depressed feelings, and always having to compare myself to other people.

Socially, it allowed me to stop feeling so self-conscious and helped tremendously when approaching/picking up women. When you meditate on a regular basis, you reach such clear and vibrant states of mind, it becomes very difficult to become flustered by life. If you can play it cool around women, their attraction towards you will often go through the roof.

You stop having the same level of attachment to things or thoughts. You no longer feel as if you need to chase or follow your thoughts down a rabbit hole. In terms of having to see an ex-girlfriend, this means a reduction of: worrying about what she thinks of you, reminiscing about old times, feeling desperate longing to get back together, etc.

Again, I know a lot of people who have preconceptions about meditation or don’t get why it is helpful…but it can be an absolute game-changer. It can take time to properly learn how to focus one’s mind, so stick with it, and the benefits will come.

 

Get Started

Since I can’t really teach you directly, how to meditate. I am instead going to post a number of videos that I’ve used and continue to refer back to. Using guided mediations can be useful at first, like training wheels, until you become comfortable doing everything on your own.

The great thing about mediation techniques is that they can be done at any time, eventually. You have to first learn how to do it, but as your practice deepens, you can bring yourself into the present moment even in a loud/crowded room. I do brief meditations to focus myself all the time, even when in a bar, and I have to go approach some woman that I’m interested in.

I literally cannot stress enough to you, how much making mediation a regular practice, made my social anxieties drop away. This has been my greatest freedom.

I am going to start off with the first two videos. They are short and I use them back to back, when I can’t seem to focus myself. Both techniques start about midway through each video, so, the actual meditation/breathing techniques should last 12-15 minutes combined.

Start off doing these twice a day, if possible. Either once in the morning or at night. Or right before you have to see the ex or go out and socialize. If not, just find time when you can do it, and be consistent.

 

I cant embed the second video, but here is the YouTube link: Kim Eng Guided Breathing Meditation

 

Both of the first two videos are short and allow a letting go to take place by focusing on the breath.  Once comfortable and seeing progress with those two videos, you can move on to a longer meditation session (or just do one of these later in the day, if you have time).

 

 

There you have it. These should get one started on the path and allow for a significant reduction in the obsessive thoughts, if not an outright freedom from the mental anguish of seeing an ex-girlfriend on a daily basis. If you can change or alleviate the thoughts about a person, their presence around you will have very little negative effect. I’ve used this for many years now, with amazing personal success…so hopefully it helps others too.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

What to Do When Your Ex-Girlfriend Says She Needs Space

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One of the most common phrases or excuses that is used during break ups is one partner telling the other that, “I need space”. Now, this can be quite confusing for the guy who is on the receiving end of this phrase and who is still hoping that his ex-girlfriend will come back to him. A person saying that they ‘need space’ can actually have many different meanings depending on who it is saying it. So, the question begs, what should I do when my ex asks for this time apart from one another?

 

The Multitude of Meanings

What does it mean to need space? On the very surface level, it can obviously mean that exactly…leave her the hell alone for awhile.

However, it can also mean that they just want space so that they can make a clean break easier to deal with, that they want to see someone else (either in particular or find someone new), or even that they just want to try out some new things in their lives, without having to worry about their now ex-boyfriend snooping around.

Needing space can be a good way to let someone go easier, as she doesn’t have to see you all of the time and keep dredging up those old emotions, again and again.

But again, it can just mean she needs time to sort things out in her mind and life. So, don’t freak out about it. Time apart will lead to clarity.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Does This Mean That I Should Keep Talking to Her, If She’s Trying to Make It Easier to Let Me Go?

No! Despite what she may have meant, you have no way of know what she meant exactly. As such, the best course of action is to take her at her word and give her space. Constantly begging her to come back or to even just talk to you is not only annoying but it is also inherently unattractive. It makes you seem like you have no life or thought independent of her, which is unappealing to her, regardless if it is true or not.

Her needing space is healthy. She needs to stop being sick of being around you and work through her life/emotions. Let her be.

 

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Will She Ever Come Back?

There’s no guarantee either way. Individual circumstances may vary and while she may still love you, she might not want to be together with you any longer. It’s just the way the relationship game works. It can be almost impossible sometimes to win back a person who has truly fallen out of love. However, there are other relationships which end for other reasons and those can have a decent chance of being rekindled.

While the odds vary depending on the circumstances involved, they can be further altered by the actions that you take post-breakup. So, that means if she wants time to herself and space to herself, that is something you have to respect. Not only for her own benefit but also for your own and whether or not things may eventually worked out between the two of you.

 

What to Do Once You Give Her Space

Her having space is not a punishment to you. It is an opportunity for the both of you to get out from under the baggage of the now defunct relationship. This isn’t a time to pine over her and obsess over the notion of the two of you getting back together.

Instead, utilize this time to focus on yourself and your own interests. With time apart, it isn’t uncommon to find out that in reality, you don’t actually want to get back with your ex-girlfriend. Many times, guys discover that most of what they were ‘missing’ about her, was just the powerful emotions that get stirred up in the post-breakup period.

Take this period to follow the No Contact Rule. Give her that space but also give it to yourself and focus on getting yourself together emotionally. Prepare to move on from the relationship mentally, even if a reconciliation is still a possibility in the future. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

What Comes After No Contact?

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”. He also recommends a period of no contact with an ex and also shows how to both work through the time apart and how to decide what to do next. If you want further help working out things or really do want to make things work with an ex, this is something you’ll want to check out.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend is Stringing Me Along. Wat Do?

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The post-breakup period can already be a really confusing time. This becomes especially true, when you’re dealing with an ex-girlfriend who is seemingly ready to get back with you one minute and then acting as cold as ice the next. After a few times of experiencing this, we being to notice the behavioral pattern, and ask ourselves…am I being strung along here? What the hell does she actually want? Why would she be doing this to me? As aggravating as this experience can be, it can be dealt with, let’s explore what’s going on.

 

Why String Someone Along?

Women are always going to have their own individual reasons for doing this, but there are some old reliable reasons in this scenario.

First, she might be doing this because she really doesn’t know what she wants. If you know your ex-girlfriend is emotionally immature or indecisive, would this really be such a shocker? Of course not. Her lack of clarity doesn’t have to mean that you have to buy into it as well.

She might be trying to feel things out with you and doesn’t want to fully invest in pursuing a reconciliation, just yet. Sometimes, she’s wanting to go that route, and other times not.

Another reason could be that she’s trying to keep her options open for as long as possible. She could very well have other men that she’s seeing or collecting dates like trading cards. In this case, she wants to wait for her best option, which may or may not be you.

Third, she’s being really spiteful. She wants to do the hot and cold routine in order to get hopes up of getting back together, only to pull the rug from underneath you, once you’ve invested.

As you can see, there are some legitimate reasons that bode well for a future together. But there are also reasons to be cautious, as there is a possibility that a woman can be using her ex for her own benefit.

Win ex back now

What’s the Reaction to Being Strung Along?

My approach has always been that of not playing the game. Meaning, that if I’m being strung along, I cut the damn string.

I’m not going to be playing her game, whether it be out of her own confusion or genuine manipulation. I don’t particularly care about the reasoning, only the end result, which is me having to put up with someone stringing me along and generating confusion.


I do this by making myself scarcely available. Since she is no longer my girlfriend, she has no reasonable expectation of my time and energy. If she wants my time and energy, then, we should have never broken up and she should attempt to reconcile without all of the confusion.

If she is just trying to manipulate me, it becomes extremely difficult for her to do so, without my constant need to give in to seeing and spending time with her.

It’s basically an attitude of: ‘shit or get off of the pot’. Stop playing games with me and give me clarity about our situation. In the past, I have just straight up asked them, what they wanted and basically refused any real interaction until it was all laid out.

I’ll also add, that if any of these girls were seeing other guys (that I knew for sure of), it was basically a non-starter with me. I’m not being option 1B or 2 or 3 or whatever.

Don’t accept nonsense just to be in a relationship or make those post-breakup feelings, not hurt so much. Be willing to walk away. After all, the relationship ended, and the obligation really is no longer there. If you’re not getting what you want and feel manipulated, why continue to pursue her at all? There are billions of other options on the planet.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Says She Doesn’t Miss Me at All

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The immediate aftermath of a breakup can be a confusing time. Emotions are up and down. It can feel like a piece of you is missing. Also, things can come to light, that make you question your memories of what the relationship exactly was. Many times this is in the form of finding out about cheating. However, it can come in the form of learning that your ex-girlfriend doesn’t miss you at all…or so she says. How can that be? This can be a jarring notion, especially when you still miss her quite a lot on your end. What’s the deal with this? Is it even true? How can one handle coming to terms with such a scenario?

 

Is It Even True?

Perhaps.

Telling their ex-boyfriend that they don’t miss them, can either be a factual statement, a weaponized barb, or a mixture of both.

Determining which it is can depend greatly on the context in which it was said, the manner which it was delivered, and the nature of the female you’re dealing with. For instance, if you know that your ex has a bit of pettiness in her personality, there’s a good chance that it’s designed to inflict pain (especially if the two of you were arguing at the time).

It’s my contention, that if a girl truly doesn’t miss me, she would have no need to tell me that. I mean, when I don’t care about an ex-girlfriend, they literally don’t cross my mind unless prompted by something else. I don’t think about them, I have no reason to speak to them, and the whole relationship is just a memory.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Essentially, why would I need to tell them that I don’t miss them in the slightest?

Then again, some chicks are just assholes and feel the need to take shots at an ex, for some perceived notion of ‘vengeance’.

Which One is It?

In the cases in which it doesn’t seem obvious one way or another, if she really means what she said or is just trying to hurt with words, it’s best not to try and wrack your brain too much. Sometimes, you really cannot definitively tell what her intent was behind the words. Hell, she might be emotional, and not even know herself.

I tend to take the statement at face value.

She doesn’t miss me, at least in that moment. If it proves otherwise, that will all be revealed over time by how she behaves towards me. Meaning, if she really doesn’t miss me at all, she will presumably fade from my life. On the other hand, if she was bull shitting me, she will probably try to get my attention and contact me in the future.

With one girl that I dated almost ten years ago, she was sort of all over the map with her feelings towards me. First, she broke up with me (I was really close to dumping her but she beat me to the punch). Then, she would randomly text me for sex in the following months. Next, she told me that she didn’t miss me (which was fine, since I was dating other girls).

What happened after she told me that she didn’t miss me? Things got quiet for quite a while, until she messaged me on Facebook, out of the blue. She would message me on there, every few years, and even asked me out. She said that she wanted us to go out ‘just as friends’…we were never really friends to begin with, though.

I think that the last message she sent was about two years ago. That’s a funny thing, to have someone not miss me, try and get back into my life years after the fact. Especially when there’s no significance or attachment on my end.

Anyways, there is the truism, that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Often times, a break up occurs and she might foresee big plans in her future. She thinks that she can get a better guy to commit to her. She thinks that she’s going to land some amazing job. And then…none of that happens, which can lead to them reevaluating their past and their ex-boyfriends. Sometimes, they find this out within a few months of the breakup.

How to Respond

Does she miss your or not? Since there is no way to know for sure, let go of the question.

Turn inward and focus on yourself, your own development, and pursue all of the things that makes your life as an individual better.

Guys get too caught up on trying to figure out all of the answers (even when there isn’t one to be had), which just becomes and obsession and time waster.

Time will usually reveal what exactly is taking place. If a girl genuinely misses you, her feelings will generally revert to the mean. Meaning, that if she told you that in anger and she secretly does miss you, then she will make it clearer once she settles down.

To me, the question really becomes, “Do I even want to be with someone who tries to hurt me with their words?” Rather than, does she miss me?

I would begin to explore what life is like without her in my life. Take the steps to move on from them and generally focus on myself.

 

Still Want an Ex-Back?

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”. He also recommends a period of no contact with an ex and also shows how to both work through the time apart and how to decide what to do next. If you want further help working out things or really do want to make things work with an ex, this is something you’ll want to check out.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

 

 

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get an Ex Girlfriend Back from a Rebound Relationship?

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A break up occurs and sometime afterward, you find out that your ex-girlfriend is involved with another guy, and she has entered the so-called rebound relationship. While this can come as a shock and indeed lower the odds of getting back together, things aren’t always lost. Even with this new development, as a man, you have to remain level headed and figure out what you want. Do you actually want her back or are you just in a temporary emotional state? If yes, do you actually want to go through the whole process of getting her back? What can be done?

 

Determining the Why and the If

The first thing to consider before embarking on trying to reclaim an ex from a rebound relationship, is to determine the why and the if.

What’s that mean?

Ask yourself, why do you want your ex back?

Then determine, if you really do want to chase her based on that answer.

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

The Why

I know it may seem self-evident based on the fact that you are reading this post, that you do indeed want to pursue patching things up with your ex-girlfriend. However, our mind can often be clouded by the fact that we want something or someone, while totally ignoring the underlying reasons behind that desire.

Is it really about wanting her or is it just not wanting to see her with someone else? It’s fine, if the answer is that you just feel jealousy (we all do from time to time), but that isn’t a sufficient reason to try and rekindle a relationship.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

Is about her or is it about you not feeling so great after the break up? Again, a lot of people try to get back together with someone for the wrong reasons. They start to feel empty or not liking where their life is at, after the end of a relationship. Again, these feelings are normal and can be worked through BUT they are not reason enough to chase after a girl.

Your ex may now be seeing another guy and you want to win her over to you because you have some fear that she may like being with him more than you. A lot of this kind of stuff is simply ego. It comes with not being able to accept how life changes and how it actually is now, you can’t stand losing because you perceive that your value as a man is lowered. Basically, equating getting your ex-girlfriend back with proving your self worth. This is a very unhealthy way to look at things and can lead you to do things such as meddling in her current relationship or trying to drive a wedge between them. Don’t be desperate. Learn to be on your own and be happy on your own before deciding if you should try to spark things anew with her.

There are so many other factors to consider, such as, what a new relationship with her is going to be like. Yep, it will be a new relationship, and cannot continue as it had before between you two. After all, that one failed. So what’s going to be different this time around?

Also consider, getting her back could take time, a lot of time. She is with someone else and in all likelihood, isn’t just going to ditch him on a whim now that you feel like getting back together. This could be a long wait and one with no actual payoff. She might have zero interest in getting back together. There is no guarantee when dealing with humans, particularly when strong emotions are involved.

Win ex back now

The If

Once one has considered why they are wanting to still pursue an ex, the question then becomes, if they actually do want to put forth the effort.

As stated above, it takes time, and you must determine if all of the time invested in pursuing this path will yield a better result than just moving on with your life and seeing other women. Add to the fact that once she starts seeing someone else, the odds of getting back together are lower and often damn near not a chance of happening. This isn’t to say it can’t happen but it’s not an easy thing.

 

Then what?

What is certain about such a situation is that chasing after the girl, obsessing, and making bold declarations of love is not the path to take. It only serves to make a man look desperate (which is inherently unattractive) and will most likely repel them further away from you. Taking the opposite tact and focusing on improving your own life and allowing new girls to flow into it is the best course of action to take? Why? Well, not only will it help you cope and move on without her, it will also raise your perceived value. So, on the off chance in the future your ex-girlfriend wants you back she will see that you can indeed survive and thrive without her.

Plus, if things don’t work out, you’ll be in a damn good position with plenty of other options. It’s a supply and demand sort of effect. Raise your perceived value and more girls (including an ex) will be attracted to you.

Sometimes, her attraction towards you is still high, and just having other women around draws her in and makes her reach out to you first. I’ve had this happen a few times, where girls I used to date have either seen me out with other girls, in pictures with other girls, or just even out having fun with a group and then suddenly they started trying to get my attention again.

Beyond that, if you currently are in chase and text her all of the time mode…stop it. Do a period of No Contact, in order to help reset things and give you some space away from one another fully.  Things need to cool off and emotions need to settle down.

After the no contact period is over, usually a month or a little longer, then can begin the attempts at re-establishing contact, rebuilding some kind of non-romantic relationship with her, before going for the  complete recovery of dating once again.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Is My Ex-Girlfriend Happy Without Me?

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At some point in time after a break up takes place, you may run into an ex or see pictures of her on social media, and she looks super into how her life currently is. You know, the one that no longer really involves you. The thought will then cross a man’s mind, “Is my ex-girlfriend really happy without me?” It can be quite a blow to our ego/self-esteem to realize that there indeed may be a bright future for someone that we cared about and no longer has anything to do with us. In this post, I want to explore this phenomenon a bit, and how to deal with the realization that an ex-girlfriend may be happier afterward…and why it ultimately shouldn’t matter.

 

What is happiness?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, before I directly delve into whether or not an ex-girlfriend is actually happier without you and/or with her new rebound boyfriend, I want to try to gain an understanding of happiness. Despite its common usage, ‘happiness’, is actually kind of a nebulous term.

What is happiness? Is it that warm positive emotion or is it some kind of internal sense of satisfaction? Is it something that is continuous or is it a fleeting moment of everything seeming to be ‘right’ in one’s life?

One thing that us human beings are really good at is making ourselves the center of attention in our own minds. We say or think things like, “Why is everyone else happy BUT me!” The real question should be, “Are any of those people you’re thinking about really happy?” And if so, what does happiness mean to them?

There are plenty of folks who outwardly seem happy and have plenty of photos on Facebook and Instagram to prove it to you. Like a duck on water, everything is seemingly calm on the surface, while their legs are churning like crazy below just to keep afloat. There are a ton of people just like that, outwardly it seems like everything is all good, but inwardly…they’re falling apart.

The question of whether or not an ex is ‘happier’ without you, really comes down to the definition of what one means by happiness. Is it the feeling? Is it some contentment? Or does she feel better off without you in her life?

 

Is She Happier?

Perhaps. That doesn’t make it a bad thing for you, though. The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of relationships will fail eventually. It’s just a part of the game. Things can grow stale, people grow apart, or that particular relationship no longer provides the same benefits that it once did. For instance, there are girls that I dated around the age of 21, who I liked a whole lot at that point in time. Our time together was great. However, fast forward to the age of 30, and if we tried to date one another it would be an utter disaster. We aren’t in the same place in our lives anymore for it to be a good fit.

You can be perfectly content to be involved with someone else and then a few months later, the situation no longer fits you. In this sense, a person may indeed be happier without their ex in their lives, but it’s really just being in a different mindset and/or wanting to go in a new direction. I mean, think about how many women you have liked/been attracted to, in your life. Was it always this one girl? What happened to the other one’s that you had a crush on or a full blown relationship with? When did they suddenly feel less special in your own mind?

Times change and people change and this may exactly be what happened with your ex. Now is she happier without you? She might not even know the answer to that question.

 

What does it matter?

Let’s just for sake of argument assume that your ex-girlfriend is indeed happier without you and possibly with someone else. What of it?

Again, the two of you may no longer (or never were) a great fit, even if you still think that you are. Hell, it might still theoretically be a good relationship, if it worked out. However, a successful relationship cannot be had while one person isn’t completely into it (her), even if the other person is (possibly you).

Secondly, if she is happy shouldn’t you be glad that she’s doing well (if you care for her still)? At the very least, if you don’t care about her or she screwed you over, isn’t it best to be indifferent towards what she does now?

The danger in the post-breakup period is to get into this comparison competition of who is doing ‘better’ after the split. What nonsense. You do not need to compete with her, any new guy she’s dating, or anything of the sort.

The focus should be on you and what you want with your life, while letting go of the relationship that played such a large role. Yes, it can take time, but getting over a breakup cannot happen when you are in constant comparison and competition.

Unless a reconciliation is in the cards, the relationship is done, and the natural growing apart is going to take place. Getting stuck in the past on how things used to be, is just going to lead to very unhappy results for you, regardless of whether or not she is actually happy. It’s ultimately irrelevant.

None of this is to say of course, that you shouldn’t take any lessons from the relationship ending. If she is happier without you, was there any thing that you can actually change about yourself to improve in the future? Or were the issues not things you can change  about yourself (which just means that two people aren’t fully compatible).

In the end, it is never truly about her and her happiness or lack thereof…it is all about you and how you react to the situation. It’s basically ego, “Why is she happy without me? Am I not good enough?” “What’s so great about her new boyfriend? I’m better than him.”

The only way to get past this sort of self-centered thinking is to let go of it all and realize that her life is not about you. Let go of worrying about what she’s doing and focus on what’s best for your life without these kind of thoughts weighing you down.