Category Archives: Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Told Me to Move On

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OK, so, the break up happened and now your ex is practically shouting at you to move on with your life. “Just forget about me” she says or she is dating someone else and wants you to stop clamoring for how things used to be. What is a guy to do when he finds himself in such a situation?

Well, there is the old adage, hope for the best but prepare for the worst and that is always an attitude you should take into any post-breakup scenario. The caveat being that, what you currently think is best (getting her back) isn’t always the case, and one needs to explore the possibilities of his own life moving forward.

What’s Your Situation? Does She Mean It?

She’s already said to forget about her and move on with your life. As such, you should take that at face value, that the relationship has now concluded and will not be reconciled. Is that always the case?

No, sometimes, women will have a change of heart but at this point in a break up it is usually a low percentage shot of that happening.

Now the specific situation depends on a number of variables such as if she is with another guy or if you did something especially egregious such as cheating with another woman, which has generated a lot of hate towards you.

The more factors such as these that are in play, the lower the odds of getting back together are, it’s just the way it goes.

However, even if the breakup seemed to come out of the blue and you can’t pinpoint a specific fault on your own end, the relationship might be doomed anyways.

Women generally don’t make these types of decisions on a whim and usually have an exit plan well in advance of actual separation.

Also, you need to factor in the length of time it has been since she dumped you. For instance, if she tells you to move on almost immediately after a breakup, there is a greater chance that she is acting on pure emotion and the statement might not be a concrete truth (although, it might).

However, if it’s been many weeks, months, or even years…then you really do need to get on with your life.

In any scenario, I still tend to just take what she says at face value, and reconsider that if I’m get overt signals from her that she didn’t actually mean it.

The best course of action has always seemed to me, to always to prepare myself for the total end of a relationship, even when it doesn’t come to pass. If I have an opportunity at reconciliation later, and that’s what I still want, then I can pursue that. Plus, I’ll be in a better position in my life, to do so.

Here’s Your Sign to Leave Her Alone

If you are getting no signs of a possible reconciliation and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture, is going to push her further away. Thus, she becomes more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought.

If you’ve evaluated your personal situation and the chances of getting back together are looking slim to none, then that means they usually are.

This is a very hard truth to face and some guys just refuse to ever comes to terms with this new change in their lives. It is not the end of the world, it is simply a new phase in your life.

There are like 4 billion females on the planet, so the odds are definitely in all of our favor, that we can literally find dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of better options than our ex-girlfriends depending on how much effort we are willing to put forth.

There was a time in your life before you knew her and dated her and there will be a time after…and YES, this time can be even better…I’ve been dumped multiple times and while it hurts, I always come back stronger.

Heck, I wrote a whole Kindle book about coming out of that turmoil, becoming stronger, better, and having many more women as a result:

Remember, girls can’t make you happy. They can enhance your life and create a feeling of dependence but they can never make you happy, only you can.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. Thus, we must work to move forward without her.

Do You Actually Want Her Back? Or, Taking Her Advice, and Moving On without Her.

Try to set your emotion and ego aside for a minute. What do you honestly miss about her? Get down to the roots of your attachment to this chick and ask yourself some questions.

What does she specifically provide that you could not get from any other girl? The pull of emotions is quite strong after a breakup and the clarity that comes with time passed and positive changes can have us feeling quite different about things.

For example, if you’re a guy who’s had several breakups in the past, do you still miss some girl you dated in high school? College?

These old girls rarely if ever cross my mind and I know that I’ll probably have at least a few more of these types of breakups at some point in my life. Am I going to let my life go to shit each time a woman has a change in heart? Hell no!

This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

  • Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
  • Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason.
  • Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
  • You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar and feels safe.
  • You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.
  • You don’t have a ready alternative available
  • Your ego is making it hard to let go

If you find yourself in a place in which your ex specifically tells you to move on with your life, you should definitely heed her words, and you’ll probably be thankful later that you did.

Sometimes, a breakup is the surest way to avoid a train wreck later, go read some divorce horror stories online if you don’t believe me. Yes, it’s going to suck getting through the emotional turmoil and loneliness but that’s part of being human…but it gets better.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after taking time by abiding by her wishes and leaving her be, assess the situation. What do you actually want?

Is she the right fit or merely a good one? Is there any real chance of getting back together? After all, both parties will have to buy into any new relationship. And it would be a new relationship, because the old one failed.

What would change? What would be better in any potentially new relationship? What are the problems that she brings to the relationship? What about yours?

What do you honestly want to be doing with your life in 5 years? Would she even fit into those plans? Or would things be okay for a while, before another break up took place?

Take time and honestly think about those questions.

In the mean time, during the period of No Contact, make serious efforts to work on your life, emotional, and physical well-being.  During these highly emotional times, one must be active in ensuring, that you get better, and not get dragged down into a dark place mentally.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get My Ex-Girlfriend Back If She’s Ignoring Me

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The time after a break up can be a confusing and harrowing experience to get through with your emotions in tact. At some point, in the ensuing weeks or months following the end of the relationship, your now ex-girlfriend can cut off contact with and flat out ignore you. This move can blindside a lot of guys because they’re not expecting it, as the girl that they were once super close with, now won’t even acknowledge that they exist. Why the hell isn’t she talking to me? What’s the deal with her ignoring my texts and phone calls? There are many potential reasons and variables associated with individual relationships but in this post I want to cover some of the common reasons that a woman will ignore you and some potential remedies for dealing with this situation.

With all of that in mind, let’s get into some potential reasons why an ex-girlfriend may all of the sudden no longer be paying you… any mind.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Why Is My Ex-Girlfriend Ignoring Me?

Moving On Has Begun

Let me be clear, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she has moved on entirely, or that she is gone for good. Things aren’t always that cut and dry.

However, ignoring you could be a sign that she is preparing herself to move forward without you or is currently seeing other guys, to help get through the post break up period.

Don’t freak out or anything, this isn’t always the case; but cutting off contact like this can be apart of the healing process for anybody after a relationship ends.

One can only begin to cope with emotions of loss and the void of loneliness once the constant stimulus is cut off of having to see and communicate with an ex. That constant reminder of someone, can be rough, as you know.

It’s really difficult to get one’s mind right when you have to constantly see someone who you’ve broken it off with. This is a potential reason why she is ignoring you when you try to communicate.

Moving on with another guy or multiple guys doesn’t mean that it’s a serious thing. Different people cope with the end of a relationship in different ways.

A lot of this behavior can be traced to not wanting to feel alone or wanting to get away from the constant stream of negative emotions. It can also at times be a signal that a new direction in life is going to be taken.

This moving on also doesn’t have to involve anyone else. She may very well decide that she’s going to take a break from dating period, at least for a while. As such, she not only isn’t going to talk to any new guys, but she also may have decided to cut off contact from you too.

Finally, there is the possibility that she is trying to move on with her life, without the relationship. At which point, a man needs to respect that and do the same.

Things change, time passes, and people enter or exit one another’s lives. It happens. This is probably the least likely reason because so many people have trouble moving past anything emotionally, but some folks do just cut ties and get on with living.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

She’s Irritated with You

This is more common when you are the one who got dumped. In the aftermath, you may still be really wanting to get back together and she’s not really having it. As such, we as men don’t take failure all that well at times, and so we begin to chase.

We may start calling and texting her way too much in order to try and convince her to come back, which only serves to push her further away.  At some point, she’ll have had enough and just cut off all contact as a way to stop being bothered by the constant attention.

Yes, it can be tough to deal with and our brain’s will tell us to keep pursuing, but we also need to know when we should back the hell off and give her space. Keep in mind that being subservient and constantly available is already an unattractive trait, even more so once a relationship has dissolved and you are very familiar to her.

The constant chatter and behaving like a lap dog that is available at her beck and call makes her feel less attraction. So, stop doing it. Nobody likes it when someone is always buzzing in their ears.

It can be difficult and there is this tendency to want to try and fix everything but you can’t really, at this point in time, so take a break and go No Contact if necessary.

So many people think they can just do some elaborate convincing and fix a broken relationship. That’s a pretty low percentage shot. In reality, it takes time, and effort.

Some of that time, has to be spent apart from one another, in order to gain clarity about how each person wants to proceed from the breakup.

If you think that you may be texting her too much, you probably are.

She’s Going No Contact

Yep, your ex-girlfriend might be using the same Jedi mind trick on you. This is more likely, in the event that you broke up with her, and less likely if you were the one who got dumped.

No Contact doesn’t always mean that someone is trying to get back together with their ex, though it could. It can also be an effective tool for getting over someone or just trying to get themselves into a solid mental state without the heavy emotions constantly weighing on them.

No Contact Rule is a ‘rule’ for a reason, lots of people use it, and it is effective. It is a multi-purpose strategy, used to gain control of your life and emotional state, after such a dramatic change. Also, if they want to get back together, at some point. It’s like buying time, to see which way the wind is blowing, for or against a reconciliation.

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Anger

Of course, there’s the old standby reason, she’s really mad. This can be the case when cheating was involved or some bad argument took place between the two of you. The more upset she is, obviously the less likely that she is going to want to talk or text for a while.

Anger can go both ways, sometimes its a temporary phase, and eventually cooler heads prevail. However, if the anger and resentment is strong enough, it can be a complete end to the relationship with no reconciliation.

Cheating as a break up cause, can often be a no win position to start from. Honestly, I wouldn’t take a girl back who cheated on me, so I expect that plenty of ladies out there also share the same principle.

In order to gauge this, you need to think about the specifics of your own relationship, and how things fell apart. This one is a very common reason, if the two of you have been arguing a lot.

Obviously, if you said or did some foul things, and all of the sudden she stopped replying to your texts…there’s you answer as to why.

What’s the Response?

When being ignored, you can’t just go and start chasing. That tends to push them further away. The best prescription is to go, No Contact on your end, and give her space for a spell of time.

A period of no contact can last a month or two. During that time period things can become much clearer as to what path you should take.

That can mean that you eventually pursue a reconciliation or decide to move forward with your own life. Thus leaving this relationship on the heap of the past.

You can’t always make a bold move in order to get someone back, this kind of thing requires a certain amount of patience, and sometimes the best move is to do nothing…for now, at least.

As men, we always tend to want to take action to fix a situation. But many times, the act of pursuit or trying to fix things, just makes it worse.  The more we chase, the more they run away.

Eventually, if you are still interested in pursuing a reconciliation, then you can try texting her and opening the lines of communication.

This is of course, a much easier task, if you haven’t completely pissed her off or cheated on her or were particularly terrible during/after the relationship.

It also is way easier when she isn’t thoroughly sick of being pestered and chased by you, when she’s trying ignore you. Patience is a virtue.

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Is My Ex-Girlfriend Happy Without Me?

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At some point in time after a break up takes place, you may run into an ex or see pictures of her on social media, and she looks super into how her life currently is. You know, the one that no longer really involves you. The thought will then cross a man’s mind, “Is my ex-girlfriend really happy without me?”

It can be quite a blow to our ego/self-esteem, to realize that, there indeed may be a bright future for someone that we cared about; and no longer has anything to do with us.

In this post, I want to explore this phenomenon a bit, and how to deal with the realization that an ex-girlfriend may be happier afterward…and why it ultimately shouldn’t matter.

What is happiness?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, before I directly delve into whether or not an ex-girlfriend is actually happier without you and/or with her new rebound boyfriend. I want to try to gain an understanding of happiness.

Despite its common usage, ‘happiness’, is actually kind of a nebulous term. It can really be difficult to pin down what it means and if someone is in that state.

What is happiness? Is it that warm positive emotion or is it some kind of internal sense of satisfaction? Is it something that is continuous or is it a fleeting moment of everything seeming to be ‘right’ in one’s life?

One thing that us human beings are really good at is making ourselves the center of attention in our own minds.

We say or think things like, “Why is everyone else happy BUT me!” The real question should be, “Are any of those people you’re thinking about really happy?” And if so, what does happiness mean to them?

It gets lonely sometimes

There are plenty of folks who outwardly seem happy and have plenty of photos on Facebook and Instagram to prove it to you. Like a duck on water, everything is seemingly calm on the surface, while their legs are churning like crazy below just to keep afloat.

There are a ton of people just like that, outwardly it seems like everything is all good, but inwardly…they’re falling apart.

The question of whether or not an ex is ‘happier’ without you, really comes down to the definition of what one means by happiness. Is it the feeling? Is it some contentment? Or does she feel better off without you in her life?

Now, her ‘happiness’ may also be a massive front, that she is putting on. Maybe she wants to make you think that she is happy, just to make you feel bad about it.

Hell, a lot of people actually buy into their own lies. Meaning, they front so hard acting like they’re in a great place, but any sort of challenge to that facade…and the house of cards collapses.

Another scenario, may be that she is actually just content being alone right now. If she has a man, maybe he really does make her feel wonderful.

That’s not a knock against you, he’s just a better fit for her, at this time. Just as if you met some amazing girl, who overshadowed your ex. It really doesn’t diminish your time together, as that is already in the past, and done with.

My Ex-Girlfriend Seems Happier Is She?

Perhaps. That doesn’t make it a bad thing for you, though. The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of relationships will fail eventually.

It’s just a part of the game. Things can grow stale, people grow apart, or that particular relationship no longer provides the same benefits that it once did.

For instance, there are girls that I dated around the age of 21, who I liked a whole lot at that point in time. Our time together was great.

However, fast forward to the age of 30, and if we tried to date one another; it would be an utter disaster. We aren’t in the same place in our lives anymore, for it to be a good fit.

You can be perfectly content to be involved with someone else, and then a few months later, the situation no longer fits you.

In this sense, a person may indeed be happier without their ex in their lives, but it’s really just being in a different mindset and/or wanting to go in a new direction.

I mean, think about how many women you have liked/been attracted to, in your life. Was it always this one girl? What happened to the other one’s that you had a crush on or a full blown relationship with? When did they suddenly feel less special in your own mind?

Times change and people change and this may exactly be what happened with your ex. Now is she happier without you? She might not even know the answer to that question.

Besides, is it the fact that she feels happy, that is bothering you? Before the break up, you’d been happy that she is happy. So, is it the fact that you’re not the source of those feelings anymore? Or is it the image of seeing her, get along fine without you?

You can get along fine without her, too. You both win, in this scenario.

What does it matter?

Let’s just for sake of argument assume that your ex-girlfriend is indeed happier without you and possibly with someone else. What of it?

Again, the two of you may no longer (or never were) a great fit, even if you still think that you are. Hell, it might still theoretically be a good relationship, if it worked out.

However, a successful relationship cannot be had while one person isn’t completely into it (her), even if the other person is (possibly you).

Secondly, if she is happy shouldn’t you be glad that she’s doing well (if you care for her still)? At the very least, if you don’t care about her or she screwed you over, isn’t it best to be indifferent towards what she does now?

The danger in the post-breakup period is to get into this comparison competition of who is doing ‘better’ after the split. What nonsense. You do not need to compete with her, any new guy she’s dating, or anything of the sort.

The focus should be on you and what you want with your life, while letting go of the relationship that played such a large role. Yes, it can take time, but getting over a breakup cannot happen when you are in constant comparison and competition.

Unless a reconciliation is in the cards, the relationship is done, and the natural growing apart is going to take place.

Getting stuck in the past on how things used to be, is just going to lead to very unhappy results for you, regardless of whether or not she is actually happy. It’s ultimately irrelevant.

None of this is to say of course, that you shouldn’t take any lessons from the relationship ending.

If she is happier without you, was there any thing that you can actually change about yourself to improve in the future? Or were the issues not things you can change  about yourself (which just means that two people aren’t fully compatible).

In the end, it is never truly about her and her happiness or lack thereof…it is all about you and how you react to the situation.

It’s basically ego, “Why is she happy without me? Am I not good enough?” “What’s so great about her new boyfriend? I’m better than him.”

The only way to get past this sort of self-centered thinking is to let go of it all and realize that her life is not about you.

Let go of worrying about what she’s doing, and focus on, what’s best for your life. These kinds of thoughts will weigh you down, in the long run.

Secondly, outside of the lessons that you can learn for future reference from them, these thoughts aren’t helpful.

Her happiness should not effect how you feel. If she feels bad, you shouldn’t feel happy, and vice versa. Things are as they are currently. Accept this and begin the process of moving forward. What are your goals outside of women? What do you want to do? Her happiness doesn’t need to create misery, so, don’t let it anymore.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back if She Broke Up with You

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There are a ton of variations of how and why relationships end. One of the most common ones, is a man’s girlfriend dumps him and doesn’t give a reason or maybe just not a very believable one. Having your woman leave you is a tough L to take, it’s just one of those losses that stings for a while no matter what you try to do to remedy the hurt.

However, even in the midst of that emotional pain, there is still that raw and gnawing feeling that you want her back in your life. The question is, can you get an ex-girlfriend back, if she is the one who initiated the end of the relationship?

Yes. Yes, you can. The thing is, there are also important questions such as, if that is even a good idea or if it is likely to succeed. In this post, I want to dig a little bit further into this topic and try to illuminate somethings one should consider when trying to reconnect with an ex after getting dumped.

Things can get complicated emotionally, so, it is important to take time to really consider how everything has played out and what you want your future to look like.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Achieving Total Clarity

So, the first and probably most important step in trying to get back an ex-girlfriend is to decide that you actually want to. No, I’m not talking about some hokey, “Law of Attraction” type of stuff.

What I mean, is to get out from under the cloud of emotion and bruised ego, and truly know that trying to restart things with her is the best decision for your life.

Let’s be honest, most of the hurt that comes along with many breakups is manufactured by the repetitive conditioning of your interactions with one another.

You’ve grown accustomed to this girl being there and when she isn’t, you are no longer receiving the positive emotional feedback, and as such it feels like something is missing.

This type of feeling will arise, whether you truly love the girl or just really liked her a lot, which is confusing because it can feel exactly the same in the short-term.

However, in the long-term clarity will arise. The feedback cycle is broken, and you can realize, that perhaps you didn’t feel as strongly towards her as you might have thought.

I think that all guys go through this type of thing. We trip out over girls and then later come to realize what an awful mistake staying with them would have been.

There are plenty of girls who I dated in my college-age years, who I was absolutely devastated by when they broke up with me BUT when I fast-forwarded a few months, I knew that I had dodged a bullet with some of them (being with for longer, getting married, accidentally knocking them up).

If you’re a younger guy, please understand that this is going to have more of an effect on you, precisely because you have less experience. Relationships are still rather new in your life and there is a huge difference between high school/college and the more serious stuff that comes with age.

It’s like the difference between amateur and professional sports, there’s just a different level of seriousness and competition.

Clarity is an extremely hard thing to achieve when that other person is still involved in your life on some level. I usually want to go no contact for 30-60 days, so that I can take a step back a analyze the situation without being constantly triggered emotionally.

Don’t worry the ex-girlfriend isn’t going to forget about you in that short of time, unless you were a totally forgettable man.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Are Some Things to Consider?

What ended the relationship? Think beyond just what she told you and dig to the roots of the problems. Did you cheat? If so, that adds a whole lot more complexity to this situation.

Also, if you did cheat, why did you do it? Were you bored, no longer attracted, want other chicks besides her (like not just fantasy but actively flirting and trying to pick them up)?

Yes, these all have an impact as to whether you should even want to try to get back together again. You might be chasing something that you feel emotionally guilty about, however, at your very core you may know that the relationship was on the way out anyways.

Did she cheat? My policy on this is to move on. Fuck dealing with unfaithful people, if she wants to screw around that is her prerogative. But it is also mine to say that, it violates the confines of our relationship, and she needs to move on.

How much time has elapsed? If it has been close to a year or more and nothing has changed, you either need a new approach or to get on with your love life. If she’s already been seeing other guys for a while and has moved into a more serious relationship with one of them, that’s another solid sign that it may be time to accept that it’s over.

What type of relationship was it? How serious did it get? A girl who is in high school or college, is most likely not ready to settle down for a very long term relationship (marriage), and will likely want to experience many new relationships or types of guys after she gets out of something semi-serious (long-term boyfriend).

However, if things did get very serious and she is either older or more mature, then there is a better chance that you could still be the right man for the job.

The breakup could have been caused by simple bad habits or a lack of direction/maturity on your part and she might be in the stage of life where she demands a man that meets all of her needs/qualifications.

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

What Are Some of Your Flaws and How Do You Improve Them?

I am a huge believer in self-improvement. Not just in terms of getting attention from women but also in every other aspect of my life. In my own personal experience, I can tell you that perception of reality is not always the same as reality itself, and it is also more powerful.

What I mean is, how you are perceived will have a greater impact than who you actually are in many given situations. For instance, the same guy walks into a bar, in one instance he is alone and in another he is with a group of women.

In which instance is he more attractive to any given female in the bar? When he is with the group of women, even though he is fundamentally the same person. The only change is in the perception of him and his value as a man.

Let’s be real, your girlfriend isn’t going to leave you if she still perceives you as a high value man.

Yes, you may be everything she wants EXCEPT you have anger issues that pushes her away (in that case , you lack of emotional control has collapsed your value as a man).

Or maybe you haven’t shown signs that you are serious about long-term commitment. Or you aren’t very much fun to be around more. You’re too controlling. Etc, etc.

If you and the relationship that you had with your ex had too many flaws, then of course she is going to start looking around at other guys and thinking that she can do better.

It isn’t always the case that she will want you back even if you do make yourself a better man because sometimes it’s just simply a lack of compatibility on a deep level. However, if there was true long-term compatibility, there may be certain things that drove her away…fixable things!

For instance, maybe you weren’t spending enough time together. Perhaps, you were too engaged in work, hanging out with your boys, playing video games, watching sports, or whatever…if this was a main cause of the break up, then this should be a main area of trying to improve yourself.

Step away from your diversions, minimize them, try to work on patterns of addictive behaviors. Make a list of areas of your life you need to improve in…from health, to wealth, to sexual skill, to confidence, communication, or any other potential factor.

Seriously, if you work on yourself and then don’t get this girl back, at least you’ve improved your odds at landing more ladies and finding one that is also a right fit for you. Keep in mind that there are ultimately billions of them on this planet, so if you can make yourself available and more desirable you can, land plenty more.

Conversely, she could have also been the source of many of the relationship’s problems. There are cases in which one person creates lots of issues and then initiates a break up anyway.

If this is the case for your, break up, ask yourself if it is actually worth it? Is getting back together with this woman, something that is good for the long haul, or simply a way to patch up the short-term emotional turmoil?

get better or this guy might take your girl

get better or this guy might take your girl

Taking the Time to Change

In order to show significant change and actually make changes to one’s life, there does need to be some time apart. A lot of guys will still currently be in ‘chase mode’, when trying to get back with his ex.

What this means is, he is still calling or texting or desperately begging to get back together…and it’s simply not working.

You cannot press a woman to want to get back together with you. She will begin to resent it and find a guy unattractive, when he displays such groveling characteristics.

Also, constantly being in contact or trying to fix things, doesn’t allow her the ability to think about what she actually wants. There are plenty of cases in which, the girl breaks up with her guy, and realizes that the single life can suck.

She realizes that she’s not meeting any ‘better men’ and her ex starts to look really great in comparison. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when things don’t work out, she might turn her attention back to you.

However, how can that happen, when he ex is constantly bothering her and displaying unattractive characteristics? Even if she finds out that being single isn’t great, it would still be more appealing than an ex, calling her constantly.

As such, utilizing the No Contact Rule, is a way to create enough space and work to better yourself for a potential reconciliation.

Taking a month or two apart, isn’t a bad thing. It allows both parties to fully consider what they want to do, experience life without the other person, and to improve themselves.

Getting clarity doesn’t just happen when you see the negatives of the relationship, it can also show you all of the positives, and why it should be fixed. When emotions calm down and reality sets in, people will tend to recognize that they actually had something great, and worth the work that it takes to make a relationship successful.

What’s the first move?

So, once a period of time apart has been taken, contact will need to be re-established if you still want to try and get back an ex.

However, by that time, you might have gained the clarity that you’d be better off moving on. That’s cool and can be the best decision for folks, in many cases. Not all relationships are worth trying to save, as they simply aren’t functional, at their core.

However, when one determines that it is worth at least attempting to salvage, there needs to be a strategy in place for making the effort. After a month or two of not talking and still being apart, getting back into contact, is of paramount concern.

One of the easiest and also most effective methods for doing so, is by use of text messaging. I mean, it is not only easy to do, but you can also take all of the time you need to craft a message and future response.

Plus, it takes the pressure off of the other person, who can respond whenever or if they feel like it. A call or face to face meeting can be brushed off, as too intrusive, but a text is both casual and weirdly intimate because folks have their phones nearly all of the time. It’s like a part of themselves.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Will My Ex-Girlfriend Forget About Me?

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One of the major worries that guys have when following the No Contact Rule or being apart from the ex-girlfriends for so long, is that, she will now forget that he exists.  Sure, I can understand feeling this way (and have myself), when you are emotionally vulnerable after a breakup. Thoughts such as, If I don’t text her now, she’ll never know how I feel and that’ll be the end of us.

However, this may or may not be the case. Your ex might still be thinking about you a lot or she might actively be trying to move on with her life. Understand that, either situation is out of your direct control, and all you can do is follow the best course of action.

Even some of the best attempts at winning an ex back, will fail because that other person, really does want to get on with their lives. In this post, I want to break down this fear and how I would approach this situation.

Your Relationship IS Over, as it is No Longer So

A breakup is the end of a relationship. Meaning, that paradigm or context that it once existed in, is no longer there.

In my view, when you actually do get back together with someone, it is a new relationship because things aren’t going to back to exactly the same way they once were.

Feelings change, people explore life without their partners, people develop new ideas about what they want from their relationships, etc. People are not always static in their desires, the same girl you met when she was 20, is now different and has different needs now that she is 25.

Once you can accept this idea, it becomes clear that she might not always come back, and you should prepare to get through this change yourself and branch out to other options in your own life.

No matter what the circumstances are, it is a good idea to prepare yourself to move forward, even if you do end up getting back together with her. It’s a great way not to get caught in static life situation and be able to move forward with less trouble.

The reason you go No Contact, is to allow one another to have space to operate on your own and without emotional interference.

Strong feelings of loneliness or a desire to get back together with her, are extremely common after a break up. However, those feelings are not always ‘real’, in that, you don’t truly want to be with her, it’s just that the emotions are so intense at the moment.

It is part of the healing process that occurs when you lose someone close to you and depending on your level of experience or the seriousness of the relationship it can take plenty of time to get past.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What About the Post No Contact Period? Will She Forget Me, Then, If We Don’t Talk?

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Again, the answer is maybe. It depends on your unique situation and the feelings of the girl who you were with. Most of the time, the answer is no, as it takes time to really get over someone. Plus, not talking can have the opposite effect, as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If, you are trying to reestablish contact after a time apart and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere with her, then it may be time for you to strongly consider moving on completely. Over the longer haul, many months or a year later for instance, women will often come back around. It happened for me this way, multiple times.

The question is often, at that point, do you even want them back.

If it’s been a long period of time, it is probably going to be a long rebuilding process anyways to gain her trust back and make her desire you once more. In that case, if you are getting responses, you might still have a chance for reconciliation but it could be a very slim one.

From my personal experience, some girls will never reply to your texts when trying to fix things with them. In those cases, I had to suck it up and move on. This has been rare, though. However, it can happen.

There were other girls who I ignored completely after the break up and they tried to make overtures for us to start dating again.

There are so many variables in relationships, that all you can do is to decide if you really do still want a relationship with that person and then if so, make a genuine effort to make it happen. Sometimes, it does work and other times, it just won’t.

If your ex is responding to your texts, then, you probably have a small chance at least for things to work out. If she isn’t, then at some point, it’s time to cut your losses.

Also, some girls will act spiteful when replying to your messages or simply give one word answers…in those cases, there’s a smaller shot of it working out, but still a chance that it can.

It will take some time and trying to have conversations with your ex to gauge whether or not she is still interested. Yes, some girls will forget about you in time. Others, never will, and it is these girls who can sometimes be won back over. It’s a whole new chapter in one’s life, after a break up. Don’t rush things or make fast decisions after these major emotional events, give it time and let things heal. Only then, can you gather information and try to get her to come back or move on.

What Might Increase the Odds of Being Forgotten?

In short, unattractive behavior. Pretty much what most guys do, when trying to lure back an ex-girlfriend.

One of the main things, is when guys become beggars, and do that annoying thing where they text the girl constantly. It’s hard to miss someone, when they’re always bothering you. But, it is quite easy to want to forget about them completely, and just move on.

Within the context of constantly trying to text, call, or communicate with an ex; some men will, be all over the map with their emotions and what they say.

One minute, they love and miss her. The next, they think she’s the worst person ever, and tell her so.

If she’s dating, the ex-boyfriend acts like a stalker or complete ass, towards the girl or whoever she’s seeing. Don’t be a jealous guy, don’t be a desperate guy, and give her some damn space.

Those are some really easy and key points, about not wanting to be forgotten. Don’t poison the well, and then, try to go back and re-start a relationship. Have patience. Work on yourself and your life. Get those powerful emotions in check. Try to re-establish contact, later, if you are interested in reconciliation.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$2.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back if She Cheated on You

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There are many way in which relationships can end and the underlying causes are all usually at least somewhat painful to endure. However, none may be quite as harsh as getting cheated on by your now ex-girlfriend. Relationships are built on trust and the idea that this one person is granted special access and privilege in your life because they have proven themselves as someone to be held in high esteem.

Whether it’s through momentary weakness or a long-term decline in the satisfaction they derive in being monogamous, cheating is simply an option that some people see as a way to explore something different and get those needs they have met.

Unfortunately in the process of meeting those perceived needs, a person they are supposed to love and care for gets hurt badly by their actions. Now, the question becomes once a relationship is over due to cheating, how can you get the ex-girlfriend who stepped out on you back?

Seriously, WTF?

I’m going to have to have a little talk with you, as your random internet friend…dude, what the hell are you thinking?

The base question of this article, is how to get your ex-girlfriend back if she cheated on you. Perhaps seeing this in writing will help your circumstance sink in. No? Still nothing. OK, let’s break it down further.

The question itself implies that she cheated on you and doesn’t want to get back together. This isn’t some circumstance in which the cheater is begging for a second chance, rather, the guy who got cheated on is chasing after her.

That is the most ass-backwards logic I may have ever come across. On what basis would you want this girl back?

As I’ve written above, the core foundation of a relationship is about trust. She violated that trust to one of the highest degrees possible, therefore, the relationship is rendered ineffective and should be concluded permanently.

Now, if you had an open relationship in which either one of you could hook up with other people, fine. However, the rules of a monogamous relationship do not allow for this possibility.

What Do You Think She Offers?

If a woman cheats on you, that is symptomatic of a larger issue. Not only is it a larger issue within the confines of that relationship but it is also indicative as a flaw in her character. She may justify it anyway she wants within her head but if she was truly unhappy in the relationship (and if the metrics are her cheating and not wanting to be with you, it’s a safe bet), then she should have just left in the first place.

Also, even if you do get her back, what has changed? Is her deeper issue suddenly solved? Is she trustworthy in the future to potentially (or already) have access to your financial well-being, to raise your children, be trusted not to screw you over sometime down the road?

Understand this: there are always more women. There’s like 4 billion females on this planet…maybe, what, 1.5 billion adult females and you’re going to sit there and act like this cheater is particularly special? Come on, man.

Maybe it’s your current love life situation (or lack thereof) that is pushing you to want to get back together with her. Despite the loneliness, it is better to be single than to be in a crummy relationship by miles and if you don’t feel that’s the case, then you need to seriously start turning your attention to your own needs and psychic well-being.

Yes, you can get other girls and you can certainly get girls who will not cheat on you. I cannot in good conscience recommend that you even attempt to get back with your ex-girlfriend, as I don’t see a scenario in which this is a good idea. My advice is: move on!

Getting Past this Attachment

A big problem with the aftermath of a break up, is dealing with those addiction like feelings, toward the ex-girlfriend. The good news, is that, they can be gotten rid of but it takes time and effort.

Wanting someone back who cheated on you, and who, doesn’t currently want you back is a pretty big sign that some positive changes need to occur in one’s life.

Whenever, I’ve been faced with something or someone that I’ve become unreasonably attached to mentally/emotionally, I like to go through a deep inquiry. I get to the roots of why I am feeling this way and not just accepting that I ‘need’ this person or thing in my life.

Why do I want her so much? What is lacking in the rest of my life, that I am so focused on this one person? Is she really the one girl for me or just the only one that I can currently see in front of me? Is it even about her or do i just simply not like the way losing her felt? Is it more about the feelings that the cheating caused or something that is actually special about her?

make dem changes

Really get into the causes and mental patterns of the issue. Sometimes, we mentally get stuck in feedback loops, where we expect someone or some feeling to be there. When it no longer is, there is a void, and we can struggle to replace it. As such, we tend to try to get back the source of that feeling, even when it isn’t a good option for us.

After inquiry and identifying underlying issues, that are causing the negative feelings, I begin the process of letting them go. For me, I do this through meditation. It really helps to calm my mind and makes me aware of my thoughts, when they pop up.

The awareness of the thoughts are important. When the negative patterns arise, I immediately begin to question them, instead of just following them and getting right back into feeling bad about things.

It’s like reprogramming your mind. Each time the thoughts begin to rise, I cut them off, and question how valid they actually are. The more I interrupt the thought patterns, the less hold they can have, the less often they come up, and the emotional attachment lessen, until I let them go entirely.

Next, is the analysis of my life, and what I need to do to improve it. If I’m focused solely on someone who cheated on me and not on my life and well-being…I’m probably not in a good spot.

That’s fine. Identifying the negative feelings and their causes, is a great first step. However, we have to begin to slowly shift into a new direction, and off of the old course which no longer suits us.

Little changes add up. I don’t care how small the positive steps are at this stage, they are still useful. It’s like weight lifting, you slowly build up strength each session, until what used to be heavy is just easy to pick up.

What are your personal goals? I mean for work, school, starting a business, health, and your dating life in the future? If some of these aren’t where they need to be, how do you get to that place? What are the easiest steps that you can take today and the next day, to move closer to these goals?

It can literally be as simple as reading for 15 minutes and then building upon that. Or doing a workout today, if you’re currently in bad shape, and then being consistent with it.

Getting cheated on, isn’t the end of the world. It’s just the end of that relationship and there are plenty more to be had, if you so desire. I had girlfriends in college who dumped me. It hurt like hell back then and felt like I wouldn’t recover. Well, nowadays, I never think about any of them.

Our brain’s can get obsessive in the short term, we need to nudge them off of these addictions, and keep going on to something better. Time apart, can naturally help these things, but it won’t be as effective if you don’t take the time to grow as a person and leave that chapter of your life behind.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$2.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Regret Leaving You

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Ahhhhhh, the gamesmanship of human relationships. It can be a funny thing sometimes to see how it develops and changes over the course of many months or years. From the initial meeting, where the game is a subtle dance of attraction and trying to get yourself a girlfriend. To the post-breakup mess of trying to show up the other person by how quickly you can move on or supposedly ‘upgrade’ to a better chick. In reality, this types of actions are really just shallow and petty.

I don’t subscribe to the notion that someone ‘wins’ at the end of a relationship (even if it’s a divorce and the courts award financial payments from one party to another). To me, it is just representative of a change in life, just like any other. No different from any other breakup or a change in friends as one grows more mature.

So, the question begs, how does one make an ex-girlfriend regret leaving you? The true answer is not to focus on it or even concern yourself with it. In this post, I want to explore a little bit as to what I mean exactly and how this can be implemented into a man’s life and core values.

Think About What You’re Actually ‘Winning’ or Trying to ‘Win’

make dem changes

make dem changes

OK, so you want to make your ex sorry that she ever left you. Cool. Why is that? Is there some award that your name comes up for when you accomplish this? No? Then why should you focus your time on such a feat?

Break down what is really going on here. Break things down to its base. You want to make her feel regret (bad emotions) because you currently have, said bad emotions, and by shifting those to her you will elevate yourself to a better emotional state.

So, instead of moving forward in your life without her or perhaps even thinking about how to possibly fix the relationship, you want to dedicate time towards trying to get the upper hand in some mental narrative you have going?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

For a moment, I would like for you to consider not focusing on how to make her feel bad about letting you go, rather, try to gain mental clarity and focus on letting your attachment to this idea of regret go.

People come and go out of our lives. Sometimes, it’s a simple change and other times it can be an ugly breakup when egos are seriously invested. Chasing after petty points and victories after a breakup are ultimately very hollow ‘wins’.

You’ve really only succeeded in possibly hurting someone you probably still care about on some level and have given a boost to your own ego instead of turning your attention inward and making your own life better and more vibrant.

The Pang of Regret

Alright, it’s hard for one person to truly regret having another person in their lives, if that person is always contacting them. A lot of guys follow up relationships, with a constant barrage of texts or trying to weasel their way back into their ex-girlfriend’s life.

How is a woman going to feel like she’s lost an important man in her life, when that guy is behaving like some kind of underling? Desperation isn’t attractive. Begging and pleading isn’t attractive. Nor is obsessing about one girl who you are no longer with.

As such, if a guy wants to make his ex feel some sort of regret for breaking things off, he can’t be in this constantly needy position. After all, why would someone miss another person, who they could have back any time they wanted? It makes no sense.

So, the No Contact Rule should be brought into effect in this scenario. Now, there are certain exceptions to going No Contact, such as having to talk to them because you have children or some other circumstance. However, it is a complete cut off of all non-essential communications.

People often want what they can’t have, and if a guy is always available, that just signals that she can have you whenever is convenient for her.

In order to make No Contact work, there does need to be a letting go of the idealized mental version of the woman, and the hurt/hatred that is being felt toward her. One is much more likely to call or text, if he can’t stop thinking about a woman, than if he accepts that things are probably over.

People Notice When You Build Yourself Up and Not Tear Others Down

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The funny thing is that, girls will tend to notice the positive changes you make within your life and how you’ve changed as a person. So, if you’re focusing on self improvement rather than simply trying to make her feel regret, she might naturally come to regret breaking up with you simply because you’ve become such a great person with an awesome life.

I’ve seen this sort of thing in action first hand. Back when I couldn’t get girlfriends, dates, sex, etc. I would think that I was simply not attractive to women and I’d never be able to get very much if anything.

I was partly correct, I wasn’t attractive to women, at that time. However, I could develop myself into the man I wanted to be and thereby attract women into the world I created for myself.

This included reading books constantly, getting into better shape physically, learning to socialize, developing my personal philosophy, pursuing my passions, working on my ideal lifestyle, etc.

All of these things in totality, over the years, has yielded a much greater ability to attract women and make them want to be a part of my life. I wrote about all of this in my Kindle book: Game without Games. Plus, my Online Dating Guide for Men

Even girls who knew me back when I was without confidence or skill, took notice of the change and some even made themselves available to me. Like from having disdain toward me talking to them, to trying to sleep with me. It was utterly bizarre for my younger self to see such a difference.

The journey of life is ultimately about yourself, and coming to terms with your existence in a world, that can be flat out crazy and brutal.

It can however, also be beautiful, and gearing yourself up to pursue the beautiful in life has plenty of benefits. One of which being, that people are naturally attracted to confidence and guys who make their lives their own.

So, in a very real way, the key to make someone regret leaving you behind, is to not focus on making them feel regret.

The key is to focus on yourself and creating your ideal life. Let other people have their pettiness and emotional manipulations. You should rise above that, understand what they’re doing, and love them anyways.

The revenge notion or getting the better of someone post-breakup is quite frankly a waste of time. Don’t let yourself become controlled by these intense emotions but let yourself observe them arise and notice how they effect your thinking in a negative manner.

Also, if you truly want your ex-girlfriend to even want you back, do you think you’re going to honestly accomplish this by trying to make her feel negative emotions instead of pure attraction? As I’ve written here before:

Oftentimes, when you take the time to gain clarity you will see that even if she was a good fit for you, she wasn’t the right fit for you and that the thought of moving on is just scary to you. The future has yet to be determined and we tend to cling to the past when we haven’t figured out the next step we want to take is.

How to Become the Desirable Man

Women lust for him…

In order for anyone to want a guy (or want him back after a breakup), he has to be desirable. There’s no way around this fact, if someone or something isn’t appealing to our human sensibilities, we don’t feel the need to have it.

Conversely, if lots of people want someone or something around, it creates a multiplier effect of many more people wanting it.

For example, let’s say there were to identical men in a bar or night club. One man was surrounded by adoring women and having a blast with his male friends. The other identical man, was standing alone, and had some really nervous body language going on…which guy would be more attractive to an outsider viewing this situation?

The guy surrounded by people of course. Their looks are the same and everything else about them is identical, except their social status within the context of the bar, and the body language.

So, in order to be a desirable man to women, it has to be about more than just being physically attractive. Everything about you is taken into account and if you improve each variable enough, you suddenly find yourself having way more women after you. Including, ex-girlfriends.

It’s all sort of like creating a player in a video game such as, Madden or FIFA. If the character scores a 99 in speed, but has low rated skills, he’s not going to be very useful in the game. However, if that speedy character’s shooting and passing rating is boosted, he becomes a player that clubs would want to sign.

This is what it’s like for men, in the dating/social world. Yes, looks and money are a part of the equation, but they’re not everything. How you carry yourself, treat people, education, work, how funny you are, etc. all factor in.

As such, a girl might not want you if you’re an average looking guy, with no other attributes that are outstanding. However, she could very well want you, if you were slightly better looking, and developed a captivating personality. Plus, had become much more socially adept. Suddenly, that player rated a 60 overall, is now an 83 overall. He has much more value, in the sexual marketplace.

This is exactly as it happened for me. I focused on improving myself, letting my psychological ‘problems’ go, and just striving to be better. All of those changes added up and so did the number of women, who were into these updated versions of myself.

The most immediate changes that one can make are to the physical body and personal style (way you dress/groom). Dramatic positive change can trigger feelings of regret in an ex, when they see visibly how much you have changed since the breakup…”Is he doing better without me? Maybe I was wrong?”

The next level is the mental change, which can take longer, in order to root out the bad habits we pick up over the years. A guy who has himself in a solid place emotionally, works on his faults, and reaches a level of contentment in his life; is inherently attractive.

Then, you have the lifestyle change. This can involve: better work opportunities, more money, active social life, and just generally being in a better life situation than you were before.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$3.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Want You Back

Published by:

It isn’t enough for you to want somebody back after a breakup, they have to want to come back. Getting someone to want to do something, especially an ex-girlfriend, is no small order. She currently might not like you, might not be talking to you, or frankly thinks that you are now boring or a waste of her time. Before we delve into some tactics that can perhaps change her mind about you, I just want to again reiterate that some relationships are really over, no matter what one tries to do in order to save or restart them. It’s just one of those things we have to deal with in life that isn’t pleasant to accept.

 

Stop with the Contact for a Time, If You’re Still Talking

In a lot of these situations, the girl is doing the favor for us, by not texting/calling/talking, which creates that distinct separation from one another.

The problem is, that guys don’t take the hint, and try to convince his way back into her good graces. The beg, plead, manipulate, and even insult their ex-girlfriends in some desperate attempt to win her back. 

We think that we are helping matter by providing our case, but that’s not what is actually going on. I remember when I was young, trying to get ex-girlfriends back this way, and it never worked. Not once.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

You’re trying to negotiate from a position of weakness. There’s nothing really to offer her, at this time, that would appeal to her. She’s had that relationship and it didn’t fulfill some need(s). 

What is interesting, is that with one girlfriend in particular who dumped me, was when I stopped trying and flipped things around…she started wanting me.

So, she broke up with me. I panicked trying to get her back. Then, I began ignoring her. She would still occasionally try to come over for sex, because she felt lonely, and I turned her down each time. This drove her nuts. I started seeing other women and improving my life. This made her question her decision to dump me and she began making suggestions that we hang out and fix things. By that time, I was over her, and moved on. 

Now, this isn’t how it always plays out, and there are different variations in which the guy will have to reach out for first contact. However, I’ve never had reconciliation become an option, by coming from a position of weakness (begging and texting all of the time).

Cutting off communication can be absolutely crucial, as it promotes absence (which makes the heart grow fonder), and allows for healing and mental clarity to begin.

Of course, there are certain situations in which communication is still necessary, like if you have kids with this woman. However, in those situations, keep things cordial but all about the necessary communication. For example, what time the kids need to be picked up, and not about ‘us and our relationship’.

 

I See No Changes

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When a relationship ends, the one thing that seems like a bad idea to me is staying exactly the same. Not only does not improving yourself make it more difficult to move on from the breakup, it also makes it harder to get your ex’s attention back.

Think about it, why would she start paying attention to you again, if you are exactly the same when she left or like in many cases, getting worse?

Now, making positive changes in your life is not only about getting your ex-girlfriend back, it is also about making your life what you want it to be and to be able to attract other potential women in the future.

The broken relationship is a known quantity. She knows what to expect and the reasons why it ultimately failed. If there is nothing that has changed, propping things up as being a ‘new’ start, isn’t going to stop the relationship from collapsing once again. 

Essentially, one has to create a better life and self, that stimulates the desire to want to buy back in. It’s not always a quick process, but it can be super effective. Once some time apart has passed, serious changes are made, then we can re-establish contact with an ex and build a new relationship. 

These changes can take many forms, but I first want to focus on a few basic ones, that are easiest to implement.

Physical

The physical component of a relationship is a huge factor in making attraction work. This is an easy place to start because physical appearance is the first thing that we notice about people.

The amount of muscle, fat, hair, style of clothes, and more…all have a huge effect on how someone gets treated. Don’t believe me? Take a look at how people react to a homeless man versus a handsome and well-groomed man in a suit. It’s like night and day.

Women are just as attracted to physical traits, as men are. People who claim otherwise are generally full of it. I’ve known countless women to say something to the effect of, ‘being a sucker for’ or ‘drooling’ when they see a man with well-developed abs. 

If you are a guy who is currently overweight, taking the necessary steps to get into great shape can indeed grab attention from you ex as well as other girls.

When I started lifting weights and shredding fat, the amount of new attention that I received from women was ridiculous. It’s kind of jarring at first, when there’s just a surge in women, who flirt with you when you go out. Not because there’s anything inherently different about you, other than body composition. 

Also, because it gives you another thing to focus your attention on, I have found that it can help alleviate some of the loneliness that is felt after a girl leaves.

It doesn’t just have to be about getting into shape (if you already are really fit), you can also change a million other things about your physical appearance (and you may not have to at all, you handsome bastard :D) but doing so is the most obvious and can honestly have a profound impact for some guys.

Mental/Emotional

Another aspect of improvement in the post-breakup period should consist of mental and emotional growth as a person. This type of change isn’t quite as apparent as the physical, however, it can many times address the underlying problems that your girlfriend had with you.

Were you prone to anger? Jealous? Emotionally distant? Didn’t give her enough romantic attention?

Obviously, there were reasons for the failure of the relationship, and your time apart from her is the perfect time to consider your part in its demise. In long-term relationships, people can easily grow apart from one another and if it continues unchecked, then a breakup is very likely to happen.

If she dumped you, then you must consider the why behind that decision, even if it isn’t comfortable for you to do so. Try to take your emotions out of it, and think rationally, about why she no longer wanted to be with you.

Many times, it isn’t as a complex of a problem as it might seem at first. For instance, if she wanted to start seeing other guys (or is already), she may have grown tired about your lack of attention towards her or fulfilling her emotional needs or yes, even failing to meet her sexual desires.

These issues can manifest themselves in numerous ways but they all usually boil down to something basic that you failed to deliver in the relationship.

It always helps to pay attention to what women don’t say directly, paying attention to her body language and what she hints at while you’re together, will often provide huge warning signs that something is amiss in the relationship.

 

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When these sorts of emotions start to pop up in her mind, it is going to be an issue for the two of you being together at some point, if the problems aren’t remedied.

She may just want a clean break from you, or she may go on to another man ,who will provide what she is lacking in her life.

Either way, when she initiates a break up, it boils down to something that you did or something that you didn’t do, most of the time.

Identifying what you can fix or improve on is the first step towards trying to reconcile at a later time. If you did something to violate her trust (like cheating), then it is going to be a much more difficult road to haul than perhaps something like not giving her enough attention or not appreciating her enough.

You need to figure out what these problems were during the period of no contact, after the breakup…this allows you to get multiple things at once done: get yourself together, give her space, make changes, let her imagination wonder about how you’re handling things, doesn’t allow you to come off as desperate and needy by over-texting, begging, and calling her constantly, etc.

Social/Life’s Purpose

There’ no guarantee that you can get back a girl 100% of the time. There’s too many variables that are outside of our control, which can complicate things, and cause the relationship to be over for good.

As such, it is important to take the time after a relationship to improve yourself and life, but not just in hopes to get back the girl. It is a move that should be implemented no matter what the ultimate outcome is, so that, we can move ahead with ease and enjoyment.

Whether or not, we are dating a certain woman, doesn’t mean that our lives have to stop progressing. When a serious relationship ends, it always feels like the end of the world, but it really is just a shake up of our perceived normalcy. We grew accustomed to that routine, so shaking that addiction to it can be tough.

Beyond just improving my looks and getting myself in a good mental space, I would always strive to improve my social life and recommit to my overall life goals and passions. Whether or not she wanted to be apart of my life, there are certain things that don’t involve her, and are solely for me. 

The thing is, making these changes also serves to make me more attractive, which is why certain girls came back around to fix things. So what does this entail?

For me, when I became emotionally ready, I would start doing new social activities, try to make new friends, and even dating other women. 

Dating other women wasn’t always something that I pursued, but when I knew my ex was seeing other guys (or suspected it), then I would definitely put myself back on the market. When my exes saw me with other women or found out somehow that I was dating, it would almost inevitably spark some jealousy or interest in what I was doing.

If other women wanted me, it was like a sort of signal, that the ex had missed something about me. It depends on the situation, but seeing women casually, can definitely help with clarity about what you want with your life moving forward.

I will usually just fire up the old online dating apps and get some quick dates under my belt, to help me see that there are indeed other options out there. I know, that not every guy is good at this sort of thing, so I wrote two Kindle ebooks on attracting women: Game without Games: Attraction Through Personal Growth and Online Dating Guide for Men.

While doing that, I decide what path I’m going to chart for myself and my future. Do I need to shake up my current situation? Do I need to buckle down on one of my business opportunities or create new website ideas? What can I do to improve the enjoyment that I get from my life, without her?

What’s Next?

After a period of no contact….about 30-60 days or so…you should have figured out what the issues were and have an idea as to how you can improve yourself and fix your end of the relationship. Of course, there is still no guarantee that if you change, she will come running back to you. She may, in fact, want to move on with her life and you need to ultimately respect those wishes and get on with your own as well.

If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them. When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.

You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work? There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

 

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back if She Has a New Boyfriend

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Break ups are tough to deal with under any circumstance, especially when that circumstance involves your now ex-girlfriend dating another guy. Sometimes, the new relationship starts before the breakup happens or a woman can quickly move on with their dating lives shortly after the old one has run its course. What happens, though, when you still want your ex-girlfriend back in a relationship with you and she is seeing another man? How do you go about reconciling the relationship? Can you even get her back from her new boyfriend?

What’s Your True Motivating Factor?

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So, the first question that one should ask himself and be completely honest about is why do you want her back?

Is it because you truly love her and want to be with her in the long run? Is it more a feeling of jealousy because she is seeing someone else and now you crave her attention like a child who has lost his favorite toy?

Are you just feeling lonely after the two of you were no longer seeing each other? Is that loneliness making you think that things should be worked out when you should really move forward with your life?

This is highly important to figure out before you ever pursue any type of relationship with an ex. There is no use getting involved again in a relationship that is permanently broken and going nowhere. This is why following the No Contact Rule is such a good idea right after the break up because it gives the two people time apart from one another, to let emotions settle down, and rational decisions to be made.

Think about what you really want for your life moving forward. Let go of your ego’s jealous tendencies and stop focusing on your ex-girl and her new man. This is about discovering what YOU want!

If you cannot figure this out, then the best bet is not to try to get her back from this other guy. It’ll probably just be a long frustrating experience of you chasing the way things used to be instead of plotting a new future.

Too many people get caught up in this sort of cycle, constantly chasing after something that is no longer there. Even when relationships get reconciled, they have to grow and change, otherwise it’s just a matter of time before the breakup happens again. It’s like the old saying, “You can’t step into the same river twice.” The water is always moving and so is life.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Type of Relationship is She In?

Best Way to Get Ex Back

Not all relationships following a breakup are the same. For instance, you might have tried to get past thinking about your old girlfriend by going out and hooking up with other girls.

Those aren’t serious relationships and just because your ex is in an exclusive relationship doesn’t mean that it is particularly serious either. She may very well have been lonely and just wanted someone else around.

She may be trying to figure out if this guy is a good fit. If she even wants to be in a serious relationship. Your ex girlfriend might just be involved in a rebound relationship, meaning it isn’t serious but she is just trying to get her bearings after getting out of a relationship with you.

If the relationship appears to be serious from your vantage point, it is best to just leave things alone and not try to interfere. You might still try to contact her, and win her over at some point, but don’t be petty and intentionally screw up things with her new boyfriend. That’s just a dick move.

Plus, trying to force her hand, will most certainly back fire. She’d probably double down on the relationship with the new guy, even if he’s not the right one, because you tried to openly sabotage things between them.

Determining the seriousness of this relationship, will indicate how difficult of a process it is going to be to win her back.

Understand, though, that even if her new relationship is just a rebound, that doesn’t mean that she will definitely want to get back together with you. Sometimes you can get an ex back and sometimes they are gone for good. That’s just something you have to accept, as a part of being in and out of relationships with women.

How to Deal with the Mental

A large part of being able to have a shot at getting an ex back, involves the psychology of the whole thing. See, a lot of people play things the wrong way from the very start.

It is a very emotionally turbulent time. Men don’t usually have these sorts of strong emotions, on a regular basis. So, when we get hit with a split, we don’t always cope well.

From there, our rationalizations and coping mechanisms kick in, and we try desperately to fix the broken relationship. In the process, we do dumb things like:

  • text her constantly
  • beg for her back
  • say mean things
  • try to meddle in her new relationship
  • beat ourselves up
  • do other jealous and overly emotional things

This is especially tough to get through, when she does have a new guy, because we start comparing ourselves to him. We worry about her sleeping with that dude. Even, forgetting about us.

Time apart from one another can be a very very good things, even when it is painful initially. The key thing for getting through break ups emotionally, is to have a plan for the future, and reinforce positive feelings.

During the No Contact period of a break up, I always do the same stuff, no matter if I’m trying or not trying to get back with my ex-girlfriend.

First, I specifically limit the amount of time each day that I’m allowed to be sad over her. I literally set aside a period of time each day, where I can feel those negative emotions. After that, I soldier on, and try to do nothing but absorb positive messages.

Why? I don’t want to reinforce negative patterns all day. Allowing my emotions to run over my life, just makes them stronger, and causes me to wallow for a longer time.

I also set the bar for positive emotions really low. I will listen to motivational speeches, watch comedy TV shows or movies, listen to upbeat music, exercise, etc. All of these activities, flood my brain with positive emotions, which is a nice change of pace from being miserable.

Next, I start to include meditation sessions and breathing techniques to let go of negative thought patterns. I work on those feelings of being angry, sad, or especially jealous of the other guy in this scenario. There are plenty of free guided meditations on YouTube…use them everyday, it will help!

Finally, I give myself other things to pursue. Yes, I focus on myself and my goals in life, outside of women. I have physical goals, business goal, or something specific that I want to accomplish. If all you have all day to think about is an ex, then, of course she is all you will think about.

make dem changes

What is Your Specific Situation?

It is really difficult to give generalized advice when your specific situation may vary. For example, one guy’s ex may still talk to him on a regular basis, while another guy’s ex totally ignores him.

One may have already done a period of no contact while the other guy may desperately text his ex daily.

A key thing here is, to determine what your own specific situation is like, and weigh the odds on how likely it is that you can still get your ex back (if you have already thought long and hard about it and still actually do want to try).

If she appears to be in a serious relationship, isn’t communicating with you very much or at all, and isn’t showing any signs that she is still interested in being with you…then it might be time to throw in the towel.

At the point, it’s just a really low percentage shot, you may get her back but it’ll be very difficult and will most likely not succeed.

If you think that your odds are better or your ex is still showing some indicators of interest, then you might consider trying to pursue reconciliation.

Should You Start Dating?

Ok, so, this question becomes a distinct personal decision for guys to make. For me, after a break up, I start moving fairly quickly into some non-serious dating with women. I don’t get involved in a new relationship, but I want myself to understand, that there are indeed a world of options out there.

But, wait…should one date, when he’s trying to get back with a specific girl? Well, she’s already dating, so how can she really hold it against you for doing the same? Plus, it can stir up feeling in women to see her ex with someone else.

For example, I remember being out one night, and chatting with a group of women. Another woman, who I used to date, saw this and suddenly had a ton of interest in what I was doing. She went from being ‘completely over me’, to later questioning me who those women were, and even trying to make something happen between us again.

There is the weird competitive jealousy that people get, when they see someone they used to be with, around with a new person. It’s a positive signal for a man, for his ex to see him around with new girls, as it kind of stirs up thoughts as to whether she missed something important about him. What do these other women see in him?

I get that, for lots of men, getting dates can be a difficult task to accomplish. I’m pretty convinced at this point, that this fact is a big reason, why so many go crawling back to their exes begging. They see that they have limited options with other women and panic.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There are unbelievable numbers of single women out there and it’s not terribly difficult to land some numbers, dates, and whatever. Heck, I’ve written two Kindle ebooks on the subject: Game Without Games: Attraction through Personal Growth  and The Online Dating Book for Men.

Anyway, I find that when getting dates with other girls, it helps to clarify what I like and dislike about my ex-girlfriend. “Oh wait, that annoying shit she does, isn’t a universal female trait?” Getting to have other experiences with other women, is a good way to help to decide what you want and don’t want in your life.

You may come to discover, that the ex, wasn’t as good of a fit as you made her out to be in your mind. You might find someone that is a great match. Conversely, you may discover that you enjoy being single, and playing the field…which can be a fund choice, at times.

You don’t have to start seeing other women, but it is something to take into consideration, as trying to get back with someone who is dating another person…can take a long time to pull off.

Improve Your Standing for All Potential Outcomes

It should be helpful during this time to go No Contact with your ex (if you haven’t already done so) and then start working on improving yourself and your own life.

Remember, she has to see you as a better option to meet her needs overall, in order to want to be with you versus any other man.

Improve yourself in the physical sense with exercise, mentally, financially, work on any emotional issues, or any other problems that were causing trouble in the relationship, and just becoming a better man in general.

The good thing about this method is that even if you don’t end up getting back together with your ex, your value with other women will have shot up, and you should be able to have options thereafter.

It’s probably going to have to happen one way or another, so, it’s best to get started on improvement now. This path will help to heal the emotional pain that a breakup causes, as well as, giving one clarity about exactly what they want moving forward.

I think that the easiest thing to improve during this time is the physical. Most folks aren’t already in great shape, as such, going this route can be a good stress reliever and add a few points on the physical attractiveness scale.

Yes, every bit helps. She was already physically attracted to you once before, now amplify that for any potential new relationship, that rises from the ashes. Women do notice this stuff. I’ve had women I’ve dated years ago, comment or message me over a new picture, where I look particularly in shape.

One important aspect to focus on, is your weak points from the relationship. Everybody has their faults, especially in relation to someone else, what were yours?

There had to be reasons for the break up to take place. From your end, what were some negative things that you contributed to the demise of the relationship? What are some things that you can try to change, in the event that you get back together?

Be honest and figure this stuff out, as it can only help you when moving forward.

Shifting Towards Contact

Alright, the essential theme is to take the time to figure out what you want, stop pestering her during No Contact, set about improving your life, explore possibilities with other women, and then attempt to re-establish contact with the ex (if you still even want to).

This can take on many different looks, depending on your specific circumstances. I’ve had women get jealous after seeing me with someone else. I’ve had them suddenly miss me, after seeing that dating others, wasn’t as appealing to them. Sometimes, I’ve gone about reconnecting with them, and things grew from there. We kind of became friends again, and then, had some new version of the relationship.

Whatever form it make take, the most direct way to try to get back together with someone, is to reach out to them first. This isn’t a declaration of love or begging for them. It is instead, sending out feelers, and trying to build from there.

What’s the first move?

Eventually, enough time will have passed, that one can attempt to reach out to their ex, in order to move forward with getting back together. There really isn’t a better medium for doing so, nowadays, than text messaging.

The hurdle is so small for the ex to send a response, it is crazy. Like, she can respond a minute later or a week later. She doesn’t have to see the guy face to face, she can decide late if and when she wants to respond, and there is no real pressure to make up her mind.

There is also the fact that it is a direct, private, and personal way to communicate AND you can take the time to come up with exactly the right way to phrase what you want to say.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back if She’s Over You?

Published by:

Trying to rekindle a broken relationship, isn’t about blind desperation, to try and make things as it once was. No, it cannot be like it once was, because things have changed to the point where a breakup has occurred. There may have been some time past the break up and now you realize, that your ex-girl is seemingly over you completely. For some fallen relationships, there are measures that can be taken, and improvements which can be made in order to help start fresh again. However, for many other guys, it may be time to accept the fact that she isn’t going to come back and move on with your life.

In order to begin the process of trying to get an ex-girlfriend back, we must be able to at least somewhat determine what the situation is. Also, to what extent the woman is actually done with the past, or if it is a temporary mood that can be remedied with some considerable effort.

What camp do you fall into?

The first thing that one must do is to figure out the likelihood of a reconciliation occurring. What is going on in your own unique situation which makes you think that she will come back to you (not just that you’re soooo awesome, of course). Analyze things….is she still communicating with you? Is she seeing someone else? How long has it been? Look for some signs that your ex may want to get back together.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

Some potentially good signs are, if she’s not seeing someone else, and that the break up is still pretty fresh. For instance, if the break up happened recently, a girl might say that she is done with you in the heat of the moment and later regret saying it. I’ve had girlfriends tell me they’re done with our relationship and then come back months later, because the ‘miss me’. Things can get weird, when emotions are running high.

If, on the other hand, you are getting no signs and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture is going to push her further away and become more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought. This is why a period of No Contact, can be so effective, because it allows for both parties to have a break and get their heads on straight.

If You’re Getting No Positive Signs

If you think that there is no shot that she’ll get back together with you, then, you’re probably right. It can be brutal to have to face the truth, however, it is a necessary thing to get on with your life.

It’s really sad to see guys just give up hope because one girl (no matter how great you think she is) no longer desires a relationship with them. There are guys who for years, are in a completely sad state all because of a breakup.

Listen, the girl was there to help enhance your life NOT to make your life or make you happy….that must come from within.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. I always say, to seriously plan to move on with your life without the ex, but be aware that things can change in the future. It’s just that you can’t force these changes to happen.

I think that deep down, every guy knows this on some level. It is just that in the immediate aftermath, the emotions and the change that has taken place is just too great to handle at times. You probably didn’t plan on losing her and thought that things would keep going on as they had before. Obviously, loneliness becomes a factor and you can often times just want her back simply so you don’t have to feel this way anymore.

 

It is a really bad time to have to get through, when you come to the realization that she in all likelihood doesn’t want you back in her life in the same capacity. That isn’t to say it won’t or can’t happen, but, when the odds are looking long it can be a great idea to start moving in a new direction. This all should start to become clearer after a period of no contact and time spent reflecting on what you truly want for your life moving forward.

 

Does she want you?? Maybe. Do you want her? If yes, why?

Another way to look at your situation and determine what the best actions to take are to flip the question on its head and ask why YOU WANT HER BACK. This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

  • Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
  • Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason. (Note: I wrote a whole Kindle book on this topic)
  • Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
  • You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar.
  • You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.

Find good reasons that you would even want her back. If you cannot, then let her go. If you can, then understand that she might not want to be back together with you…which is fine, there are billions of women on this planet, so you’ll be fine eventually.Maybe it is a situation in which you’re at fault and even though she wanted to stay with you, she simply could not because of your transgressions. That is a rough reality to face but one in which you’ll have to accept things, improve yourself, and try again with another woman. It’s just a time in your life where you’re have to take a loss and deal with the fact that it is most likely over for good.

The bottom line with all of this, is that, if your girlfriend is clearly displaying signs of not wanting anything to do with you then it is time to start moving on. Obsessing or wallowing about things for a long time is counterproductive towards the possibility of getting your ex-girlfriend back anyways. Start getting on with your life, improving yourself, dating other girls, and if you still think there is a shot, then you can try reopening the lines of communication and exploring the possibility of reconciliation. If she isn’t open to this, then she really doesn’t want to get back in a relationship with you.

 

If You Still Want Her Back

Alright, so, you’ve thought about it and have decided that trying to get back together with the ex is a good idea. You want her for the right reasons and not just to have something to occupy the temporary void you feel, in the time following the breakup.

Still, we are faced with a situation in which she wants nothing to do with you, or at least is putting up the front that this is the case. The course of action that needs to be taken will be dependent on the factors, we talked about before. Like, if she’s dating someone else or is ignoring you when you text, etc.

The first step is to continue into a No Contact period for 30-60 days. So, no texting or trying to get back together with her. During this time, use it to better yourself, and prepare for life as if she isn’t going to be coming back. Odds vary based on a whole lot of individual inputs, but both getting back together and moving forward should be prepared for.

Next, comes the initial contacting phase, which will hopefully turn into a meet up, and then an attempt at reconciliation.

How does one accomplish this? Well, the best method in the modern age, is by sending a text message. Honestly, it is quite a perfect way to reach out, because so little is involved on her end to type out a simple reply. It can be a good gauge to determine how much interest is still there.

Where do we start? I hope you had a chance to download the free report near the top of the page, about what not to text an ex. It was written by relationship expert Michael Fiore and is a part of his larger program, Text Your Ex Back.

Text Your Ex Back is a total digital program that walks you through the process of re-establishing contact and getting back together with an ex. It has been used by thousands of people successfully over the years and can be tried for 60 days with a full money back guarantee.