Daily Archives: September 7, 2023

Time apart is necessary for the process of healing oneself after a breakup and figuring out what direction to take one’s life in. The healing process is one which is internal, however, just because time apart can heal sadness doesn’t mean that it will cure what ails a broken relationship.

Now, it’s been a year or longer since your break up and you want to give it another go with your ex-boyfriend? Can you even get an ex to come back into a relationship after that long of time apart? The answer is yes, it is possible…not probable but possible.

People have sometimes gotten divorced and then remarried years later. While others dated as teenagers and the reconciled as adults. These things do happen but it just isn’t a likely event.

Perhaps, an even better question to ask than the likelihood of this happening is whether or not it is a good idea to try and get back together or to simply move on?

Why Do You Want Him Back?

This is the question that I ask myself after breakups with my girlfriends and that creeping feeling of loneliness and desire sets in. It is important to not blindly trust your feelings but to analyze exactly why it is you feel a certain way.

This longing feeling can stem from symptoms of dissatisfaction with your own life, that, when you take a closer look you realize that it doesn’t really involve your ex-boyfriend. We tend to clamor for what we think will make us feel better in the short-term, even if it is a bad decision for our overall well-being.

This can of course take its shape in the form of junk food, drugs, etc. However, it can also manifest itself in chasing some idealized past relationship which ignores all of its flaws.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

It can be a really great plan to do a complete assessment of what you want for you life and future to see if getting back together with your ex-boyfriend is actually what you want.

Perhaps, you are just chasing after your memories because you feel like getting back into a relationship with this person will act as a cure-all of sorts for your life.

Some people do have an unhealthy level of longing for their ex, that really isn’t going to provide them any benefit if they actually succeed in rekindling the broken relationship.

Many times, the best course of action is to finally let go and move forward with your own life.

Take your time and strongly consider every possible angle of pursuing a new found relationship with your ex.

• Is he really all that great?
• Does he actually offer something you couldn’t get with any other man?
• Do you simply currently not have many other dating options due to work, school, shyness, etc and are now idealizing this past relationship due to loneliness?
• Did the problems you have in your past relationship magically disappear?
• Are these problems even fixable?

This type of introspection questioning is extremely beneficial because it allows you to challenge your preconceptions and not get suckered in by emotions that are potentially pointing you in the wrong way.

Digging deep into your own thoughts and true feelings can help you to prevent making the mistake of wasting your time chasing someone who isn’t good for you or even worse, restarting a bad relationship that has no chance of succeeding.

OK fair enough…but…I Still Want Him Back, What are My Chances?

So, after you have gone through the long process of questioning what you want for your life and whether or not pursuing a relationship with your ex is even a good idea, you can then start to thing about what problems are preventing you from making a reconciliation happen.

Again, this is another process of thinking and analysis but it is totally necessary.

Understand that, after a year or more apart your ex-boyfriend is not the same person mentally/emotionally and probably hasn’t stayed stagnant in other ways either.

Consider his current relationship status. Does he have a new girlfriend? Multiple friends with benefits? Is he completely single and alone?

Depending on which category he falls into, your chances of getting back together will change.

If he has a girlfriend and it seems to be serious, I would honestly recommend that you leave it alone and just move on. It’s not fair to him or his current girlfriend to have his ex (who he may not have any interest in any longer) to be butting their nose into his personal life.

OK, let’s say that he doesn’t currently have a girlfriend or any really ‘serious’ prospects at the moment. The good news is that you have a slightly better chance to renew a relationship with him than you otherwise would.

The odds become more or less favorable depending on the causes of the breakup, the problems of the relationship, who dumped who, how each of you have changed, and what type of communication the two of you currently have.

Whose Idea was the Breakup, Anyways?

Sometimes a break up is mutually agreed upon while other times it is the result of one person’s desire and the other partner has no idea what hit them.

If it was his idea to break up with you, then, he probably had his reasons at the time. However, with time feelings tend to die down and you can kind of forget what the reasons were in the first place.

This can be a benefit or a detriment towards getting back your ex-boyfriend. If he thought he could find a better fit than you and found out it was a mistake through first hand experience, then it can be a boon for your cause.

However, the opposite effect may have taken place and while meeting new women, he found out that maybe he was justified in the breakup.

If on the other hand, you were the one who dumped him, you might have a better shot at reconciliation. In some instances, he might still be very open to having a open dialogue about getting back together with you, since he might not have wanted to break up in the first place.

This can of course depend on certain circumstances such as the severity of the break up, whether cheating was involved, and how his romantic and personal life has changed since then.

Changes?

Many times a reconciliation will only take place if the people have changed enough to get past their differences. Hopefully, you have recognized your flaws and faults and taken the necessary steps to improve them.

Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for a repeat performance of the relationship dissolving and it probably won’t be as functional of a relationship while it lasts either.

Think about it from their perspective, would they really want to get back together with you if all they were going to get is more of the same?

The relationship has to start from a new place, as the two of you are now different people at different places in their lives then when you first got together.

You not only have to address your own flaws but also those of your partner.

Has he changed for the better? Is he even willing to address any issues you may have had with him? If not, it is going to be a waste of time for all involved.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again. Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships: 

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.

He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R. “My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

In the course of some relationships, cheating and infidelity can happen. Sometimes, you are on the receiving end of it, while other times you are the one who cheated.

If you find yourself in the latter situation, it can be quite a difficult place to start again from. This violation of trust can quickly put an end to even the longest term relationships and can destroy any chances of reconciliation even when both parties still love one another a lot.

In this post, I want to explore a bit on the possibilities or techniques for getting back together with your ex-boyfriend when you were the one who cheated.

Forgive Before Seeking Forgiveness

So, you’ve cheated and your boyfriend dumped you as a result.

The first step before even considering your chances to get back together with him is to fully accept the mistake you made and forgive yourself.

I know that in this situation, you can really feel bad about what you did and continue to carry around guilt about it.

However, if you are going to move forward with your life, either with or without your ex-boyfriend, you need to come to terms with it internally.

This is easier said than done, obviously, but it is possible when you let go of the past and the emotions which have arisen from it.

You cannot alter the past, just as you cannot alter the future and guarantee that your ex is going to take you back and absolve you of your relationship sins.

Work out the emotional guilt. Figure out why you really cheated.

• Was it a fit of passion?
• Did it stem from a lack of fulfillment with your ex-boyfriend?
• Even if the two of you got back together would it be a good relationship or would you still be unsatisfied?
• Would he hang the fact that you cheated over your head, even after taking you back?

These are the types of things you need to come to terms with before deciding if it is a good idea or not to try to reconcile.

Time Apart is Time to Heal

Following the No Contact Rule post-breakup is a good idea because it gives both people a time to breathe and learn to live again without that other person impeding on their emotions.

If you cheated, then there is a good chance that your ex isn’t speaking to you at all anyways. Don’t lose it over this fact, just respect their wishes at this time and don’t continually pester them with text and phone messages begging for forgiveness.

This period will usually last 30-60 days and is necessary to let things cool off and for those strong emotions to calm down a bit.

During this time apart, realize that no matter what one does, sometimes getting back together with an ex isn’t an option and prepare yourself to move forward in life, as a wiser person.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Understand that, your ex is probably furious with you, so even with your apologetic and good intentions…they probably don’t want to hear from you at all at the moment.

Begging can sometimes be flattering (very rarely) but it is mostly a turn off to people. At some point, it becomes kind of pathetic and it’s really unattractive to have someone lowering themselves and trying to suck up to you.

Think about guys in the past, who have tried to get with you…were you all that attracted to the obsessive types who damn near worshiped you? Probably not.

You were probably drawn to the mentally stronger and more confident men, it’s the same principle at work here.

What Needs to Change?

Okay, so you’ve screwed up royally and cheated on your ex. Now what are you going to do different in the future?

In order for your ex-boyfriend to want to get back together with you, he must know that you have changed as a person and that he is going to be able to rebuild a level of trust with you.

That same unquestioning level of trust may indeed be gone for good, however, a very high level of trust can be rebuilt but it has to be earned and it takes time.

The first step is to accept the blame for what you did, come to terms, and assure that it isn’t going to happen again.

Again, this goes back to what triggered the cheating?

If you just hooked up with some guy you thought was hot because you had a momentary weakness, how are you going to make sure that this isn’t going to happen ever again?

Are you satisfied with your ex-boyfriend physically and sexually?

If the answer isn’t a definitive and unwavering yes, then you should probably just move on with your life.

Apologize to your ex if you want, but it isn’t fair to get back into a relationship with someone you don’t have those kinds of feelings for at a high level.

It’s okay to want something else in life. Even if, it is difficult to get past the attachment and emotions that stem from this broken relationship. But, it is necessary for both parties to be happy in the long term.

• Did you cheat because of something that he did or didn’t do (not enough attention, etc.)?
• If this is the case, then is he going to change if the two of you were to get back with one another?
• Or is it something about you that is just being unreasonable or needy?
• What can you work on about yourself to eliminate the urge to cheat?
• Was it alcohol or substance related?
• Is that an addiction(s) that you need to seek help for?
• Are you out partying too much and that opened the door for you to have an opportunity to give in to temptation?

Figure out why you cheated, the things/situations that enabled you to cheat, and demonstrate that you have changed.

Also, this clearly means ending whatever type of relationship you had with the person you cheated on your ex-boyfriend with.

You cannot have a relationship with that person moving forward, if you want your ex-boyfriend back in your life. As such, you have to make a decision to cut them out of your life in order to reconcile.

Figure Out What You Want With Him

So, you have to ask yourself, what you want long term with your ex-boyfriend?

If the two of you were to get back together, where is it ultimately heading?

If it’s a complete certainty that you are in it for the long haul and he’s the one you want to be with (marriage or other long-term arrangement wise), then it makes sense to at least try to work things out.

If on the other hand, you’re unclear about what you want with him or you’re just feeling really lonely right now or you’re still feeling like you might want to be with other guys…then it is time to prep to move on with your life.

If you fall in the former camp, you have to realize that the relationship as it once was it effectively over. A reconciled relationship is a new relationship and it will take lots of work and alterations in order to get things right the second time around.

Now, you of course can’t always get the other person to agree to want to come back. Who can blame them?

They are probably devastated by what took place and may no longer have the room or the desire in their hearts to want to see you again. That’s a possibility which must be accepted.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

At some point in the time period after a breakup, questions can begin to rise internally about what your next move should be and even if you should accept your ex-boyfriend back into your life.  This can be a confusing time filled with distraught and severe loneliness, that often times causes one to look for the quickest fix to help themselves feel ‘normal’ again.

It is during these emotional crises, that we can make bad decisions based off of what we feel instead of what is the right choice for us to make.

Should I take my ex back? Is he really that bad of a guy? He can change, right? And a whole host of other questions cloud our minds and effect our judgement.

One of these questions could be, “Should I accept him back into my life, after he hurt me?”

So You’ve Been Hurt…

The most basic advice that I would start with is whether your ex hurt you physically or emotionally or both. If physically, the answer of if you should get back together is a clear, no!

If that’s your situation it may be advisable to seek counseling and weaken the feelings of dependency you have towards him and simply move on with your life.

If on the other hand, this guy only hurt you emotionally, you may want to consider the depth of that hurt and what about his character allowed him to scar you in this way.

Now, emotional hurt can be as bad and sometimes worse than that of the physical. It is a deep-seated pain that comes into your life when someone who is that close to you, does something to betray your trust or intentionally tries to hurt your psychologically.

So, it is important to get to the root of this pain and determine the severity of it.

Did He Cheat?

Some people have open relationships and that’s fine. However, for the vast majority of people, there are clearly understood boundaries of monogamy that once crossed usually spell the end of a relationship.

If this is the situation which you are currently mired in, I think the best course of action is not to get back together with him.

• Ask yourself, what has changed?
• Is he suddenly not going to make the same mistake again?
• Will you be able to accept the fact that he cheated and not let it affect your reconciliation?
• The relationship has fundamentally changed, so even if the two of you do decide to get back together, is it a situation in which the two of you can grow stronger together?

Answer honestly about why you would even want to be with someone who cheats on you in the first place?

Dependency and not having a clear option to replace him are not acceptable answers.

What are His Intentions?

Another determining factor that you should consider, if you are thinking about taking him back is why he wants you back (if he does).

Did he honestly realize he’s made a mistake and is actively trying to change and make things better?

Or is it more of a case that he currently has no other girls to date, feels lonely, and his attachment to you is strong enough to make him want you (at least for the time being)?

Post-breakup can be a confusing time for him as well. He may be convinced that he wants to be back together with you, even if, deep down he truly doesn’t.

Take what he says with a grain of salt and pay attention to his actions.

Whether or not he follows through with what he says he’ll do is extremely important. Also, even if he does, that is no guarantee that you should take him back either.

What do You Want?

Emotions and loneliness aside, what is it that you want for your life?

If it is unclear at this point, don’t jump back into a relationship. An irrational decision can be a costly decision to make and have you ending up being stuck with someone wrong for you for a very long time.

You cannot have a successful relationship anyways, if you are not first happy with yourself and have an idea of how you want your life to be in the future.

Can he realistically be a part of those plans? Take the time for yourself, where you can be alone for a while and gain clarity about what you want and how you should proceed.

You may come to realize that he is completely wrong for you and there are literally billions of other men on this planet and that some percentage of them would be much better suited for you.

I know, I know, meeting people is hard. Though, great ones do come along; if you put yourself out there and make the attempt to meet them.

You cannot make a major decision like this from a position of weakness.

Emotions will deceive you or bait you into thinking that you are making a solid decision by taking him back, even when that’s definitely not the case at all.

Do your due diligence, be happy with yourself, determine where you want to go in your life, determine if he fits with that plan.

Figure out if there are much better options for you out there than just getting back in a fallen relationship.

As time passes after a break up, a thought will gather in many people’s heads, it’s a question to whether or not it is still possible to get their ex-boyfriend back. It’s been a few months, is it too late to reconcile and begin anew?

Once a split happens the drift starts to begin and the person you were once dating, now has possibly moved in a different direction and has a new set of wants, needs, etc.

The problem lies in the fact, that one party has started the transition out of the old relationship, while the other is still wanting to re-kindle things. When exactly is it too late to get back with an ex-boyfriend? Is it ever?

When is it too Late?

On some level, it really ‘never’ is too late to get back together with an ex.

That being said, it’s usually limited to specific circumstances, once an extreme amount of time has occurred since the break up.

There are people who have broken up for years and then gotten back together, so, yes it’s possible. Is it a sound idea to do so? That depends.

The old relationship is done.

So, even if you get back together with a boyfriend, it’s a completely new thing (albeit familiar). Don’t make the mistake of thinking that things will be the same as they were before, they won’t.

People change and mature constantly. Things and people that interested you ten years ago, probably do not now. At least not to the same degree.

This kind of shift can also take place over the course of months, if someone is really determined to change fundamental things about their lives.

Just keep in mind before pursuing that any underlying issues of the old relationship would have to be resolved and that it’s not going to be the same relationship, just a new incarnation.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

These ‘long periods of time in between the two relationships’ relationships are possible but know that the longer the time, the more unlikely it becomes.

I would be really hard pressed to even consider getting back together with women that I dated years ago.

I just couldn’t picture it working out, now that my life and desires are so completely different. A period of months isn’t insurmountable, but years might be.

Why?

Get down to the nitty gritty of your motivations.

• Why exactly do you want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend?
• Is it really about him and how great he is or does it have more to do with your general unhappiness, loneliness, lack of direction in your life, or some other factor?
• What about the situation has changed that makes you feel that the relationship will work out this time around, when it just got done failing on the first try?
• What’s really different?
• Is it really anything or is this just chasing after the past and your fond memories of it?

It can be really tough to move on, especially when there isn’t a clear path in our lives as to where exactly we are supposed to move on to. It is a confusing time and our brain makes it worse by reminding us of a time when it felt as if things made much more sense.

Sometimes, despite all of the emotional evidence to the contrary, it is actually the best course of action for our lives to simply move on. It is the correct decision to let go of the past and not try to patch things up with our exes.

All of this wanting to get back together with your ex-boyfriend might be a masking of a general lack in your life as a whole or uncertainty about what it is you truly want.

As such, one can often chase after the wrong things in life, if you don’t get in touch with what you really want.

When Should You Consider Moving On?

The first point that I’d say, is that, after a deep search of yourself and consideration of what you want from it.

If after all of that, you have serious doubts about getting back together, then that is a very noticeable sign that it is time to move forward alone.

If all the signs are pointing to just being unhappy about where you are currently in your life, then things should become about you and not focused on trying to get back together with someone else.

You are the foundation, happiness in relationships can only stem from you being content with what is.

Also, if you’ve been trying to get back with an ex for a while, exhausted your strategies, and gotten nowhere…it might be time to hang it up for now.

That doesn’t mean that it is never possible to get back together with them, just not at this point in time. They may want to go a completely different route with their lives and that route may not include you.

Accept their decision, it’s their life, and their choice to make.

The third point is, if this trying to get back together with or chasing of your ex-boyfriend is hurting your life, it is probably time to let go.

You cannot sacrifice your well-being based on some vague notion of reconciliation with a person who might not want to reconcile.

Don’t allow your brain to concoct some narrative, where it’s some great tragedy that this person didn’t want you back or that it’s somehow romantic to chase after someone for years…it isn’t.

Our brains love stories. Elements of them can be true, but getting caught up in these narratives, can waste years of our lives for no positive result.

Things in life change and people flow in and out of our lives all of the time. That’s life, that’s how it works for everyone. At some point, you can no longer resist change, and have to just go with the flow.

It really is never ‘too late’ to get back with an ex, depending on the situation. There are a ton of variables that will effect your current situation and the likelihood of such a reconciliation taking place.

However, despite the odds, there are perfectly legitimate reasons for letting go and moving forward without them too. Take the time to truly figure out what it is that you want.