Following a breakup, it is a common thing for ladies to want to get back with their now, ex-boyfriend. It is a very anxious and emotional time after a split because you have to deal with such a major change in your life and must figure a way to move forward with or without this guy. Whatever took place in your personal situation, these kinds of erratic feelings can take their toll on a person and make someone desperate to want to fix a relationship as it had been previously. What one needs to recognize about a break up is that the relationship itself will never be the ‘same’. It can be started anew and repaired but it will always have to be created as a newer and more functional relationship in order to persist into the future.
It is usually much more than one simple thing that causes a breakup. That means if you would only go back and change one thing, the relationship was still probably doomed. The first big decision one has to make before attempting to rekindle things with their ex-boyfriend, is if that getting back together is really what you want or is this decision being based on a poor emotional state. Before getting into steps to take to try to restart things with your ex, I am going to cover some reasons why you may want to reconsider at this point in time. Having a clear mind will allow you to have a better vantage point to decide what your next steps should be.
See Clearly Again
It is a very good idea to try and see the truth about your failed relationship. No BS, no lies, no idealizing. What were really the problems fundamentally? Be brutally honest in your assessment. Was it cheating? Was it a lack of communication? Did you two start to go down separate paths in life? Did you want different things out of the relationship? Figure out exactly what the problems were and if these core issues are a deal breaker or something that can be repaired with a little bit of work. Gaining clarity in this way, can help you to make a choice to move on or to potentially try and get him back.
Get Out From Under Dependency
Happiness does not come from a relationship or another person, happiness comes from within. If one’s internal well-being or sense of self comes from an external source, then, as soon as it goes away (like a breakup) then the happiness will disappear. It is easy to become addicted to someone who makes you feel good about yourself, however, it can dredge up all types of negative emotions in their absence. This is why it is a good idea to go no contact for a period of time post-relationship in order to let yourself heal and get some perspective on your life. Otherwise, one can fall into their own mental traps and become especially needy towards that other person.
Let Time Do Work
Time is important because it can be very difficult to figure things out after a relationship ends, as emotions are not stable. Making bad decisions when you’re in this sort of state of mind can have negative consequences and push you to make irrational judgments when you otherwise would not have acted in a specific way. You can’t allow yourself to be one of those people who pines after and wallows about their exes for years after the fact, instead of moving on with your life. Time apart and time to heal lets you get things in your life together and make good decisions about where you would like to go.
Remember when I wrote about the importance of letting time pass? Here is where that takes on another layer of importance. With time, the bad things about your relationship tend to fade in your ex-boyfriend’s memory. This doesn’t mean that all of the problems are gone but what it does mean is that if they truly do miss you on some level, they can start thinking about the positive aspects of what once was.
If you have played things correctly up until this point, the two of you have spent significant time apart from one another, and you have both grown up and improved yourself as a person. You have had time to reflect on whether or not getting back together is a good choice to make or not. While they, have also had time to consider what their life is like without you. From experience, the girls who wanted to come back always made the first move in contacting me. I would always get a text or online message saying something like, “Hey, I was just thinking about you and wanted to see how you are doing.” Or something like, “I was driving over by (insert place) and it reminded me of (some time spent together).”
If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them. When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.
You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work? There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: