Time is supposed to heal all wounds and if one lets it do its job and also makes changes to their lives it will indeed heal. However, just because time heals wounds doesn’t mean it fixes broken relationships. So, it’s been a year or more apart from one another and you want another shot with her? Is it possible to get an ex-girlfriend to come back to you after that long of a period? Yes, it certainly is possible. There have been plenty of relationships throughout time in which there was a long break up followed by a reconciliation. Does that make it a good idea to try to make that love connection happen once again? Well, that’s tougher to say…
First Things First
Before I even get into this post, I want to make it abundantly clear that if it has been over a year since a break up and no reconciliation has happened, it is very unlikely that it will. As I wrote above, it can happen but that doesn’t mean that the odds are good that it will happen. So much changes in that span of time, that in many ways, her life may be in a completely different space than when the two of you were dating. Meaning, she’s not really the same person and may want completely different things than you can offer her. I know that sucks to hear but such is life.
Why Do You Want Her Back?
I usually like to pose this question from the outset before even suggesting ways that people can get their ex back. I do this because, often times, when you get down to the real core of your life and your desires you will find that what you think you want is really just a symptom. This desire for the ex can often stem from dissatisfaction with one’s life or how it currently stands. When one finds themselves in this sort of head space, they can begin to clamor for anything that makes them feel better or will solve their deeper issues. These solutions can take the form of drugs, escapism, working too much, and indeed chasing relationships.
It is a really good idea to do a full assessment of your life and relationship situation first to see if getting back together with this girl is truly what you want or if you are simply running after a past life, that you have fond memories of. I say this because most people will be over their exes within a year and it can be very unhealthy to have this Jay Gatsby like obsession for a person you haven’t been together with in a long time. This doesn’t mean that all circumstances are like that but if you’re holding on to the past this much, it’s time to let go and move forward.
Dig deep, down to the roots of what you want with your life or what you think you want from your life and analyze it. Does she actually offer you something that you cannot get anywhere else? Are you struggling to meet other women and are falling into the trap of the past? Were things in your relationship that great to begin with? Were the issues between the two of you even fixable?
Keep prodding yourself with these types of questions because the truth of the matter will start to reveal itself and make this an easy choice of, “No, I really don’t want her back. I just need to focus on myself and get my life in order.” That’s not a bad outcome to this issue at all and even though it hurts to let someone go, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you and prevent you from making the mistake of restarting a doomed relationship.
But…but…I Still Want Her Back, What are My Chances?
OK, so once you’ve gone through the whole process of truly figuring out what you want for you life and whether you want to try to make this girl apart of your plans, then you can analyze the barriers to making this a reality. Yes, I know, more work…but this is what’s involved in making an attempt to reconcile such long broken relationships.
First off, what is your ex’s current relationship status? Does she have a boyfriend? If yes, then your odds are even worse at getting her back then they just were. Depending on the seriousness of that relationship, she may be gone for good or there might be a chance she could return. If it’s serious, I would generally recommend just leaving it alone and moving on with your life. I mean, think about it from her current boyfriend’s perspective (just humor me), would you want your girl’s ex sniffing around and trying to mess up things between the two of you? Hell no! So why are you going to be that guy?
So, let’s say that she isn’t seeing anyone or that her dating life is not what you could term as ‘serious’. Congrats! You now have a slightly less shitty chance at getting your ex-girlfriend back. The odds will obviously depend on other factors such as the cause of the breakup (if you cheated on her and this led to the breakup…you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell), how your life or her life has changed, and how intact the lines of communication still are.
Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.
Whose Idea was This, Anyways?
Another key factor to consider is which one of you initiated the break up. If it was her idea, she probably had a valid reason at the time, however, this reason could become murky after so much time has passed. This plays to your advantage. Think about it, if she thought that she could do better than you (and failed to find someone) or thought that you weren’t quite up to snuff (and you’ve improved your life, health, status, etc.) then she would be much more willing to reconsider things than she perhaps otherwise would. Now, this can of course be detrimental to your cause if she went out into the dating world, and found another guy(s) who so felt was superior to you in terms of her happiness and comfort.
If you were the one who dumped her, you could be in better standing then if you were the one who got dumped. She might be more willing to reconcile or be more open to your communications than she would be in another circumstance. Again, this all depends on certain variables such as the state of her love life and how much of a candle she still holds for you.
Change? I guess Change is Good for Any of Us…
Hopefully, in the time that the two of you have been separated, you have made improvements in your life and these improvements are noticeable. The good thing about long times spent apart is that you can drastically alter who you are and who she sees you to be. Sometimes, these major changes (such as the physical or getting your metaphorical shit together) are enough to shock and get an ex to start thinking about you again.
Plus, why would she want to get back together with you, if all she is going to get is more of the same? The two of you are in different places psychologically and within your lives then when you were together (at least, I hope you are), this means that you cannot restart the same relationship you had before, as you are different people now! Any relationship that may come about has to be built from the ground up and altered so that the problems of the past don’t come back and haunt you.
You need to make sure that you have addressed any negative issues you may have had or be seriously willing to change them. For instance, if you had a problem with anger during the relationship and that was a friction causing issue, then it should be corrected before you even consider trying to win her back. On the flip side of that, if she was a source of major frustration for you that is one more red flag that a reconciliation might not be a good idea.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: