The post-break up period can be quite a minefield of confusion to traverse. Both sides, once close, now have their own interests in mind and emotions are running extremely high. It’s almost inevitable it seems, that one party will cut off communication with the other. This can be pretty confusion or quite a let down, especially when you still want to reconcile with an ex-boyfriend but he doesn’t seem to want to communicate with you on any level, at the moment. Why won’t he talk all of the sudden? Why is he completely ignoring my calls, texts, etc? Well, as with anything else in life, there seems to be a multitude of answers possible. However, I want to point out some potential causes and solutions for dealing with such a total drop off in communication.
Alrighty then, let’s get down to some reasons why an ex-boyfriend may be ignoring you, during the post-breakup period.
Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.
He’s Moved On
Don’t freak out. This isn’t always the case, however, there are times when one side in a break up will get it in their mind that the best course of action to take is to move on entirely. I’ve personally done this before with one girl that I was dating. Despite the fact that it was still painful, I rejected her advances to see me, after she had dumped me. My reasoning for this was that she was only trying to use me for sex and comfort after she had broken up with me, and that I didn’t feel like being used. Why should I allow you to have whatever you want, when you basically told me that I was no longer good enough to be with you?
I rejected and then ignored her solely on principle. I wasn’t really ready to move forward with anyone else but I forced myself to be alone and resisted getting drawn back in with promises of easy sex and soothing of the post-break up pain.
Now, a man can also ‘move on’, by dating new women. This doesn’t always have to be serious, sometimes, he is just dating to help himself cope with the new situation but then other times he is genuinely trying to move forward with his life. He wants to head in a new direction.
‘Moving on’ can be sort of a misnomer, as it is often more like distracting oneself from the powerful emotions that are stirred up at the end of a relationship. It can go either way, but it is one distinct possibility of why an ex-boyfriend would begin to ignore.
This usually happens when relationships end. One side will message, call, or try to meet in person the other side wayyyy tooo much. It’s not that he is either currently for or against the possibility of getting back together, it’s just the constant bombardment of communication is grating his nerves. There’s just something inherently unattractive about a person who makes themselves much too available and almost completely subservient.
Getting five texts in a row from a girl without me responding is at best an annoyance and at worst a little bit frightening. It’s counter intuitive when caught up in the emotional turmoil that is happening after a break up but the more you chase and text and beg, the more people tend to move further away from you.
I’ve seen it first hand from both sides. Me, writing long messages to an ex, totally sure in my mind that it’d work and she’d come back. When in reality, it just made me stink of desperation, which is especially unattractive to women. On the flip side, I’ve had girls do it to me, and it really does make me lose interest very fast.
Cut out the heavy communication, if you’re currently doing so. I know there is a tendency to want to try and fix everything ASAP but understand that you can’t really and it’s actually counterproductive. This is why the period of No Contact, can be so damn effective. It prevents us from making dumb mistakes that hurt our chances at reconciliation.
It’s Apart of His Strategy
The No Contact Rule has become more popular recently and so an ex-boyfriend may have cut off communication as a strategy. No Contact can be used either to help get over someone or conversely to help try to get someone back. I’m not saying that this is the most likely scenario, it’s almost certainly not, BUT it is a possible motive for why he is ignoring.
No Contact provides people with space and allows for clarity to take hold in one’s life without interference from the person that they just broke up with.
He’s Really Upset
Another distinct possibility of why an ex could be ignoring someone is that he’s simply pissed off. Lying, cheating, or some other reason that made this particular break up extra difficult to deal with could be spurring on a strong desire not to have any communication within the near future.
If something really bad happened to cause the break up, then it is to be expected that a guy would be hurt and simply be in no mood to talk or even acknowledge his ex-girlfriend. Especially, in the cheating scenario, that would be a complete non-starter for me and I know many other guys who wouldn’t allow anything to be fixed with someone who did that to them.
Not all is lost, though, a guy being upset may eventually pass. He could then be open to communication but just needs time and space to cool off and gather his bearings.
Then again, he may be so angry and hurt that he shuts down completely and wants nothing to do with the old relationship ever.
What To Do?
The exact motives are hard to ascertain as there are so many possibilities as to why a guy may stop communicating after a break up. The remedy for such a situation? Fall back and then attempt to reengage later.
What does this mean? It means going into No Contact on your end. Don’t try to force him to talk when he doesn’t want to, which will only serve to push him further away. With space and time, comes clarity about what each individual wants.
Take the time period of No Contact to figure out exactly what you want for your life. You may come to find that with time alone and when the heavy emotions come under control that you actually don’t want your ex-boyfriend back. You may want to go in a completely different direction in your life whether that be: career wise, education, romantically, or even where in the world you live.
Time apart is about healing and getting yourself in a better place to make sound decisions about your future with or without him. In fact, one should always prepare for the more likely scenario that the relationship is finished…because it is. Any reconciliation that comes to pass, is essentially a new relationship that needs to be fundamentally different from the one that failed. All the former fights and problems need to be solved.
No Contact is usually a period of 30-60 days. At that point in time, the situation becomes clearer and what one wants for themselves is pretty obvious.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: