Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Stop Thinking About My Ex-Girlfriend?

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Thinking can be a great tool to have. Sometimes, it gets out of tight spots, gives us tremendous insights, and can even change the course of our lives for the better. Other times, this useful tool, begins to control our every waking hour. It replays past events like a movie on a constant loop and not even a good movie…one that can haunt us or just make us feel terrible about ourselves.

This can be especially true for us men after we break up with a woman. So many scenarios run through our minds about what could’ve been, what we could’ve done differently or how we can still, maybe, get our ex-girlfriend back.

It’s only natural for this to occur after a breakup, but at some point we need it to stop and be able to move on with our lives (even if we eventually get back together with our ex). The question then begs, how do you stop thinking about her once the relationship ends? What about if she’s sleeping with someone else? Or you’re in another relationship?

Well, boys, let us dig deeper and see if we can’t present some ways to solve this issue.

To The Roots of Thinking

The first thing to recognize is the powerful illusions that thoughts create. Even when we remember events fairly clearly, they are still only our subjective interpretations of what happened, and flawed ones at that.

It gets lonely sometimes

As I said before, memories and thoughts are sort of like films, and films that are highly edited and colored by our emotions and the limited ability of our senses to pick up the data of our surrounding environment.

No matter how rational or certain you take your memories for, they are still always inherently flawed. When interacting with another person (your ex for example), your memory is even more limited. This is because you don’t quite know what she was thinking, feeling, or what she would remember about any given situation.

Add to the fact, that our brains can often conflate two separate events and turn them into one single memory…and you’ve got yourself one highly misleading narrative.

That’s the thing about it, it’s not just having the memories or thoughts pop into our heads, it’s also our interpretation and analysis.

What if this happened instead? What if I’d said this? Oh! Maybe I should call her and say that now…I’m sure she’ll take me back. The narrative story that we create about memories are often the most insidious part of them. We’re natural problem solvers and when we have a major change like a break up happen in our lives, we want to solve the emotional tumult. Thus, it repeats again and again.

The narrative isn’t just limited to trying to resolve problems the relationship faced. There is also the story we tell ourselves about just how damn great she was and how you’ll never meet someone like her again, etc., etc.

Is any of that really true? I’m sure she had some great things about her, however, was it all sunshine and happiness?

No issues? No behavioral problems? No selfishness? Being annoying? Are there not billions of females on the planet? No one is better looking? Nicer? A better partner? You aren’t capable of landing someone else?

Just what is really true about all of these thoughts and memories that are being stirred up?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Desperation Stinks

Another issue with thoughts is how often they can lead to actions which don’t serve our best interests. Your brain will concoct all sorts of solutions and fail-proof schemes in order to get your ex to come back, and these ideas can have the effect of pushing them further away.

There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a desperate man.

He has no self respect. He treats her as if she is somehow above him, like he is her personal servant. Now, normally men wouldn’t act like this of course, but when our thoughts and emotions are consumed with this idealized vision of our ex-girlfriends…we get into some silly situations.

If your thoughts translate into desperate, clingy, annoying, or hurtful behavior towards your ex-girlfriend, any attraction she may have had left will evaporate really quickly.

It becomes a situation in which to resist what is (the end of the relationship for the time being) is to further impair the odds of it ever being repaired. In essence, you have to be willing to move on completely with your life, whether or not she ever comes back.

Do not let these thoughts and emotions cloud your judgments and force you to make short-sighted moves. You aren’t going to ‘fix’ a broken relationship just like that.

In fact, if reconciliation did take place, it would effectively be a new relationship in order to solve all of the issues the old one had…so accept the fact that the old one is gone either way.

As such, there is no real advantage to begging or trying to go for a quick fix, without really changing anything.

How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex-Girlfriend

OK, so now that we have a brief overview of overthinking and how it can hinder things post-breakup, we can begin to move on to ways to reduce thinking about her.

All of these suggestions are things that I have done in the past to help me stop thinking about ex-girlfriends or even move on from tough life experiences. In fact, I incorporate some of the techniques into my daily life, to help my performance and mental clarity.

Changing reality, at this time (getting the ex to come back and have everything be great again), may not be possible. So, instead of changing reality, we change the way we perceive and think about it. Thus, lessening the strong attachments, we currently feel.

Letting Go

Letting go of thoughts, desires, or relationships can take place either in the here and now or in the long-term. The short-term effect is to interrupt the thought patterns, which sort of retrains the brain to not go down that same road again and again.

Letting go allows for a level of clarity to take hold and an elevation of one’s mood. When I let go in the moment, I no longer need to chase my thoughts, as I am content with what is.

This is the best short video of a technique to let go. I watched this almost everyday for a month or so before meditation sessions and found that it helped immensely. The actual breathing technique is like 5 minutes, so you can fast forward to the six minute mark of the video, if you don’t want the entire explanation:

The great thing about this breathing technique is that it can be done anywhere, once you’ve learned it. I’ve incorporated while at museums, bars, before dates, etc. It’s a fantastic way to start calming oneself down and helping to make the thought patterns more sporadic.

Interrupting thought patterns is a way to set up sort of a beach head and begin to unwind the lock that these persistent thoughts and memories can have on one’s mind.

The above technique is just a warm up for me, I like to do meditation on an almost daily basis, to really get in the habit of ‘no thought’ and disrupting thoughts that have become addictive to my brain.

Any easy way to begin, is to do the breathing technique demonstrated in the video above, and then follow that with a guided meditation video.

Guided meditation will talk you through the basics of meditation until you can progress enough with your ability to clear your mind and do a meditation on your own accord. Here is an excellent video to start with:

The following books may also aid you in being able to clear your head of excess thinking. Each one has helped me immensely along my journey of personal transformation.


Interrupting Routine

Part of being able to stop thinking about someone is to stop dwelling on the past itself. The meditation techniques and book recommendation above are probably enough to help cut off the thinking of an ex-girlfriend entirely.

However, I wanted to incorporate some other things that can help over time as well. Our routines in daily life can become stagnant and seem to bog us down, especially when there’s a major shift in one aspect (relationship).

Things can become stale, we feel like we’ve stopped growing or have any real goals to shoot for.

Since we have to accept the possibility that our ex might not ever get back together with us, we should then follow the post-breakup plan that I have put forth in the past.

It is a mixture of removing as much interaction with your ex-girlfriend as possible, self-development, and dating other women.

The No Contact aspect of this trifecta, helps with the overthinking, with the help of the old adage ‘out of sight, out of mind’.

The less you have to see or speak with her, the less her image will appear in your thoughts. Now, it is obviously a gradual process but I have found that once I’d started meditating and disrupting those thought patterns, it became much easier and less painful to let go of the women I’d been dating.

Self-improvement gives you something else to focus your energy on. If you don’t have jack shit going on in your life, then of course a break up is going to linger for a long while, your brain is sitting idle.

Physical, mental, emotional, social…all of them. Pick something to move towards, with your eyes forward, it becomes hard to focus on the past.

I like to start dating other women almost right away, nowadays. Granted I’ve gotten myself to a really good place psychologically and am able to deal with things in a much healthier and non-self destructive way, so maybe I can get away with moving forward faster than other guys can.

However, I’ve found that dating other girls helps to really get rid of the total focus on one person, who I’m no longer together with.

Right after a break up, I might even be a little less picky because even the bad dates have a positive impact on me. In the sense that they make me say, “Thank God I’m single and not together with her”.

Meanwhile, the good dates are a reminder that I still have value as a man and there are other attractive women out there.

In closing, to forget about an ex, I:

Cut off the constant stimulus of seeing/speaking to her

Interupt thought patterns with meditation and letting go techniques

Give myself other things to focus on with a massive self-development plan

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Told Me to Move On

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OK, so, the break up happened and now your ex is practically shouting at you to move on with your life. “Just forget about me” she says or she is dating someone else and wants you to stop clamoring for how things used to be. What is a guy to do when he finds himself in such a situation?

Well, there is the old adage, hope for the best but prepare for the worst and that is always an attitude you should take into any post-breakup scenario. The caveat being that, what you currently think is best (getting her back) isn’t always the case, and one needs to explore the possibilities of his own life moving forward.

What’s Your Situation? Does She Mean It?

She’s already said to forget about her and move on with your life. As such, you should take that at face value, that the relationship has now concluded and will not be reconciled. Is that always the case?

No, sometimes, women will have a change of heart but at this point in a break up it is usually a low percentage shot of that happening.

Now the specific situation depends on a number of variables such as if she is with another guy or if you did something especially egregious such as cheating with another woman, which has generated a lot of hate towards you.

The more factors such as these that are in play, the lower the odds of getting back together are, it’s just the way it goes.

However, even if the breakup seemed to come out of the blue and you can’t pinpoint a specific fault on your own end, the relationship might be doomed anyways.

Women generally don’t make these types of decisions on a whim and usually have an exit plan well in advance of actual separation.

Also, you need to factor in the length of time it has been since she dumped you. For instance, if she tells you to move on almost immediately after a breakup, there is a greater chance that she is acting on pure emotion and the statement might not be a concrete truth (although, it might).

However, if it’s been many weeks, months, or even years…then you really do need to get on with your life.

In any scenario, I still tend to just take what she says at face value, and reconsider that if I’m get overt signals from her that she didn’t actually mean it.

The best course of action has always seemed to me, to always to prepare myself for the total end of a relationship, even when it doesn’t come to pass. If I have an opportunity at reconciliation later, and that’s what I still want, then I can pursue that. Plus, I’ll be in a better position in my life, to do so.

Here’s Your Sign to Leave Her Alone

If you are getting no signs of a possible reconciliation and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture, is going to push her further away. Thus, she becomes more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought.

If you’ve evaluated your personal situation and the chances of getting back together are looking slim to none, then that means they usually are.

This is a very hard truth to face and some guys just refuse to ever comes to terms with this new change in their lives. It is not the end of the world, it is simply a new phase in your life.

There are like 4 billion females on the planet, so the odds are definitely in all of our favor, that we can literally find dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of better options than our ex-girlfriends depending on how much effort we are willing to put forth.

There was a time in your life before you knew her and dated her and there will be a time after…and YES, this time can be even better…I’ve been dumped multiple times and while it hurts, I always come back stronger.

Heck, I wrote a whole Kindle book about coming out of that turmoil, becoming stronger, better, and having many more women as a result:

Remember, girls can’t make you happy. They can enhance your life and create a feeling of dependence but they can never make you happy, only you can.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. Thus, we must work to move forward without her.

Do You Actually Want Her Back? Or, Taking Her Advice, and Moving On without Her.

Try to set your emotion and ego aside for a minute. What do you honestly miss about her? Get down to the roots of your attachment to this chick and ask yourself some questions.

What does she specifically provide that you could not get from any other girl? The pull of emotions is quite strong after a breakup and the clarity that comes with time passed and positive changes can have us feeling quite different about things.

For example, if you’re a guy who’s had several breakups in the past, do you still miss some girl you dated in high school? College?

These old girls rarely if ever cross my mind and I know that I’ll probably have at least a few more of these types of breakups at some point in my life. Am I going to let my life go to shit each time a woman has a change in heart? Hell no!

This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

  • Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
  • Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason.
  • Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
  • You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar and feels safe.
  • You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.
  • You don’t have a ready alternative available
  • Your ego is making it hard to let go

If you find yourself in a place in which your ex specifically tells you to move on with your life, you should definitely heed her words, and you’ll probably be thankful later that you did.

Sometimes, a breakup is the surest way to avoid a train wreck later, go read some divorce horror stories online if you don’t believe me. Yes, it’s going to suck getting through the emotional turmoil and loneliness but that’s part of being human…but it gets better.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after taking time by abiding by her wishes and leaving her be, assess the situation. What do you actually want?

Is she the right fit or merely a good one? Is there any real chance of getting back together? After all, both parties will have to buy into any new relationship. And it would be a new relationship, because the old one failed.

What would change? What would be better in any potentially new relationship? What are the problems that she brings to the relationship? What about yours?

What do you honestly want to be doing with your life in 5 years? Would she even fit into those plans? Or would things be okay for a while, before another break up took place?

Take time and honestly think about those questions.

In the mean time, during the period of No Contact, make serious efforts to work on your life, emotional, and physical well-being.  During these highly emotional times, one must be active in ensuring, that you get better, and not get dragged down into a dark place mentally.

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Is My Ex-Girlfriend Happy Without Me?

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At some point in time after a break up takes place, you may run into an ex or see pictures of her on social media, and she looks super into how her life currently is. You know, the one that no longer really involves you. The thought will then cross a man’s mind, “Is my ex-girlfriend really happy without me?”

It can be quite a blow to our ego/self-esteem, to realize that, there indeed may be a bright future for someone that we cared about; and no longer has anything to do with us.

In this post, I want to explore this phenomenon a bit, and how to deal with the realization that an ex-girlfriend may be happier afterward…and why it ultimately shouldn’t matter.

What is happiness?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, before I directly delve into whether or not an ex-girlfriend is actually happier without you and/or with her new rebound boyfriend. I want to try to gain an understanding of happiness.

Despite its common usage, ‘happiness’, is actually kind of a nebulous term. It can really be difficult to pin down what it means and if someone is in that state.

What is happiness? Is it that warm positive emotion or is it some kind of internal sense of satisfaction? Is it something that is continuous or is it a fleeting moment of everything seeming to be ‘right’ in one’s life?

One thing that us human beings are really good at is making ourselves the center of attention in our own minds.

We say or think things like, “Why is everyone else happy BUT me!” The real question should be, “Are any of those people you’re thinking about really happy?” And if so, what does happiness mean to them?

It gets lonely sometimes

There are plenty of folks who outwardly seem happy and have plenty of photos on Facebook and Instagram to prove it to you. Like a duck on water, everything is seemingly calm on the surface, while their legs are churning like crazy below just to keep afloat.

There are a ton of people just like that, outwardly it seems like everything is all good, but inwardly…they’re falling apart.

The question of whether or not an ex is ‘happier’ without you, really comes down to the definition of what one means by happiness. Is it the feeling? Is it some contentment? Or does she feel better off without you in her life?

Now, her ‘happiness’ may also be a massive front, that she is putting on. Maybe she wants to make you think that she is happy, just to make you feel bad about it.

Hell, a lot of people actually buy into their own lies. Meaning, they front so hard acting like they’re in a great place, but any sort of challenge to that facade…and the house of cards collapses.

Another scenario, may be that she is actually just content being alone right now. If she has a man, maybe he really does make her feel wonderful.

That’s not a knock against you, he’s just a better fit for her, at this time. Just as if you met some amazing girl, who overshadowed your ex. It really doesn’t diminish your time together, as that is already in the past, and done with.

My Ex-Girlfriend Seems Happier Is She?

Perhaps. That doesn’t make it a bad thing for you, though. The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of relationships will fail eventually.

It’s just a part of the game. Things can grow stale, people grow apart, or that particular relationship no longer provides the same benefits that it once did.

For instance, there are girls that I dated around the age of 21, who I liked a whole lot at that point in time. Our time together was great.

However, fast forward to the age of 30, and if we tried to date one another; it would be an utter disaster. We aren’t in the same place in our lives anymore, for it to be a good fit.

You can be perfectly content to be involved with someone else, and then a few months later, the situation no longer fits you.

In this sense, a person may indeed be happier without their ex in their lives, but it’s really just being in a different mindset and/or wanting to go in a new direction.

I mean, think about how many women you have liked/been attracted to, in your life. Was it always this one girl? What happened to the other one’s that you had a crush on or a full blown relationship with? When did they suddenly feel less special in your own mind?

Times change and people change and this may exactly be what happened with your ex. Now is she happier without you? She might not even know the answer to that question.

Besides, is it the fact that she feels happy, that is bothering you? Before the break up, you’d been happy that she is happy. So, is it the fact that you’re not the source of those feelings anymore? Or is it the image of seeing her, get along fine without you?

You can get along fine without her, too. You both win, in this scenario.

What does it matter?

Let’s just for sake of argument assume that your ex-girlfriend is indeed happier without you and possibly with someone else. What of it?

Again, the two of you may no longer (or never were) a great fit, even if you still think that you are. Hell, it might still theoretically be a good relationship, if it worked out.

However, a successful relationship cannot be had while one person isn’t completely into it (her), even if the other person is (possibly you).

Secondly, if she is happy shouldn’t you be glad that she’s doing well (if you care for her still)? At the very least, if you don’t care about her or she screwed you over, isn’t it best to be indifferent towards what she does now?

The danger in the post-breakup period is to get into this comparison competition of who is doing ‘better’ after the split. What nonsense. You do not need to compete with her, any new guy she’s dating, or anything of the sort.

The focus should be on you and what you want with your life, while letting go of the relationship that played such a large role. Yes, it can take time, but getting over a breakup cannot happen when you are in constant comparison and competition.

Unless a reconciliation is in the cards, the relationship is done, and the natural growing apart is going to take place.

Getting stuck in the past on how things used to be, is just going to lead to very unhappy results for you, regardless of whether or not she is actually happy. It’s ultimately irrelevant.

None of this is to say of course, that you shouldn’t take any lessons from the relationship ending.

If she is happier without you, was there any thing that you can actually change about yourself to improve in the future? Or were the issues not things you can change  about yourself (which just means that two people aren’t fully compatible).

In the end, it is never truly about her and her happiness or lack thereof…it is all about you and how you react to the situation.

It’s basically ego, “Why is she happy without me? Am I not good enough?” “What’s so great about her new boyfriend? I’m better than him.”

The only way to get past this sort of self-centered thinking is to let go of it all and realize that her life is not about you.

Let go of worrying about what she’s doing, and focus on, what’s best for your life. These kinds of thoughts will weigh you down, in the long run.

Secondly, outside of the lessons that you can learn for future reference from them, these thoughts aren’t helpful.

Her happiness should not effect how you feel. If she feels bad, you shouldn’t feel happy, and vice versa. Things are as they are currently. Accept this and begin the process of moving forward. What are your goals outside of women? What do you want to do? Her happiness doesn’t need to create misery, so, don’t let it anymore.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Get an Ex-Boyfriend Back If He Hates You?

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There are some break up situations in which things are cordial and even somewhat friendly between former lovers. There is no hostility and indeed some sort of reverence toward one another that could be very useful if the exes want to get back together. On the other hand, there are other broken relationships in which they really are ‘broken’, in that, one party has an intensely negative attitude towards their former partner. It can manifest into actual hatred or something closely resembling it.

This type of animosity may be short lived anger towards an action on your part or a deep and intense hatred of you as a person. What can one do to save a relationship if their ex-boyfriend seems to hate them?

Time Apart

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Situations which are intensely emotional tend to cool off in the long-term. The issue is getting to that long-term mellowing out without completely pushing that person away.

We all have things in our past that at one time really upset us and now when we look back it isn’t a big deal at all. This can be especially true in a breakup scenario because of the addictive quality of love.

I can remember being sad or angry at an ex-girlfriend to the point that it was all thought about for weeks. Fast forward to the present time and I don’t even think about these girls anymore.

It’s a strange thing but time does work wonders if you let it. The key is to not let it drag on too long, to the point which your ex moves on completely. However, bothering them during a period in which they need to work out these intense feelings can also backfire on your aims to get them back.

So, your ex-boyfriend is utterly pissed at you and now you have searched to find out how to deal with this new found hate. On the scale of likelihood of getting one’s ex back, having one hate you is on the lower end of probability. That is, if he actually hates you.

Before you can even attempt to get out of such a bind, you must give him space and time. Meanwhile, you assess your chances of actually turning these feelings positive, or if you even want to.

One’s natural tendency is to keep trying to reach out to, reason with, beg, say you’re sorry to your ex-boyfriend. Thinking that, if you just keep it up, he’ll realize his anger is wrong and come back.

While it is an intuitive thing to do, it isn’t the correct thing to do in most circumstances and can actually push someone away further.

Taking a period of no contact can be beneficial for the both of you, as it allows you to have time to really sort things out and to let emotions settle down a bit. Constantly contacting your ex makes you seem unattractive, desperate, and kind of annoying to your ex…not qualities someone wants in a partner.

No Contact can be a very hard time to get through and trying to resist the urge to talk to them when your are feeling lonely can be brutal. I would usually give it at least a month where we can each be alone and figure out what we want to do with our lives.

During this no contact period, it is important that you work on yourself and any issues you may have caused in the relationship. Think deeply and analyze if you truly want to get him back or if emotions are currently pushing you that way. In time, you may find that the best course to take is to simply move on and start dating other men.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Yes, I know, it seems like in the heat of the moment that there is no other options beside reconciliation. Though, that’s not really the case.

The more positivity you bring into your mind, and the more time apart, your outlook can change dramatically. Suddenly, you may come to realize that you want something completely different for yourself.

In fact, you might actually not any relationship, at the moment and decide to take your life in another direction.

It is important that we work on ourselves, after breakups, as it not only really helps the healing process; but also, it can give us greater clarity that perhaps we haven’t been living the life we really wanted to. Maybe, our relationship that ended badly, needed to end when it did.

Conversely, you may come to realize that you do indeed want to try and get the ex-boyfriend back. However, one still needs to accept the fact, that it might be gone for good. Always prepare for multiple outcomes, whether you end up back together, or single, or with another man eventually.

What Did You Do To Make Him Hate You?

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Your ex may actually hate you or it may just be a passing phase. In any case, what were the causes to set him against you in such a way. Did you cheat on him? This complicates things further and makes getting him back a very low value proposition.

In that type of situation, not only can it be difficult to get him to talk to you, and get him interested in reconciling the relationship. But also, having to go back and create a new relationship, based on trust and forgiveness.

It’s a longer term rehabilitation project, that has to discard older aspects of the failed relationship, and create newer stronger ties.

If you have angered him this much, think about what the issue is and why you did it. Was it a one time thing? Was this a constant or repeated behavior of yours? What have you done to change for the better? Can you even change this for him?

If cheating was the case, are you prepared to not see any other men for good? Is that honestly what you want, exclusivity with your ex?

It’s fine, if you actually just want to go out and see a bunch of different men, just be honest with yourself about it. Don’t try to drag your ex back into that situation, just because you currently have intense feelings, about the breakup.

If you cannot control those lustful impulses around other guys now, will you be able to in the future? If being monogamous, is what you want, you will need to be able to deal with these feelings when they arise. Otherwise, you’ll repeat the same mistakes again.

There are obviously things that you need to work on for him to consider taking you back in the future. What are these issues you need to correct? Figure out what they are and then come up with a plan to change them.

Literally, think about what all of your potential issues are. What did he really dislike about your role in the relationship? Be extremely honest, but don’t beat yourself up. What are your faults (we all have them) and what can you do to begin to move in a new direction?

Does He Actually Hate You, Can He Love You Again?

Sometimes, with enough time apart from each other, he may have calmed down and be willing to have an open dialogue with you.

Other times, he may not ever want to come back no matter what, this is a possibility you need to accept and be willing to move forward from. You cannot force someone into wanting to be with you and there are times when it is best to simply cut your losses.

After taking a period of no contact to evaluate things, you may still be unsure if your ex-boyfriend is open to taking you back or not.

You also, may have decided that you actually do want to try to work things out as well. Here are some indicators of interest that your ex may be open to at least discussing reconciliation.

The opening of a potential reconciliation can usually be done through text message. It is a way to send out feelers to see how he may think of you at this time.

Getting any reply is better than getting none at all but understand they may be short one word responses that don’t lead where you want them to. It is a steady progression of getting them to open up.

What’s the first move?

So, once we go through a period of no contact, we may want to re-open the lines of communication. That is, if we actually still want to reconcile this broken relationship.

Like I said, plenty of times, people recognize that they were simple being too emotional. They didn’t actually want the relationship back, rather, they wanted to pain of the break up to subside.

Anyway, if we do want to try to mend things, we need to establish contact and feel things out. The best way to do this is through the use of text messages.

Texts are great, as they don’t need to be in the mood to respond, right when they get the message. They can come back later on, when their curiosity is piqued, and see what it is you want from them exactly.

It’s a much higher rate of response, than say, calling them out of the blue or trying to ‘accidentally’ run into them.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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How to Attract Your Ex-Girlfriend Again

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Okay, so this post is a bit different in some ways from the usual of trying to restart a broken relationship with your ex-girlfriend. In some cases, the relationship may have ended due to fighting, cheating, or something else and the girl is still attracted to and in love with the guy. Those situations aren’t necessarily easy to fix but they do have different circumstances to deal with. On the flip side of the coin, there are relationships that end because the ex-girlfriend is no longer attracted to the guy she was dating, and these types of situations can be tricky to deal with and even a longer term process to win her back. So, lets explore attraction and reigniting that flame.

Take a Step Back and Analyze the Field

I have found myself in this situation on several occasions, post-breakup, where I had an intense desire to get my ex-girlfriend back and indeed make her wildly attracted to me again.

You must understand that this desire is more about you than it is about her. Meaning, in the emotional turmoil after a breakup, we will tend to want our exes back under any circumstance because we think it’ll make the pain and loneliness go away.

It isn’t that she is the most incredible person on the planet (sorry, it’s quite doubtful she is), it is just that emotions are running so hot, that we get hung up on this one person in an unhealthy way.

Listen, following The No Contact Rule, is often about just giving yourself some time to cool off. To have your rational side make a comeback appearance after the time spent wallowing, crying, pleading, begging, and every other emotionally induced behavior on the books.

Take a step back and analyze whether you truly want her back or if it is simply that your ego has been bruised and getting her back will help quell the storm that has been raging inside of your mind.

Oftentimes, when you take the time to gain clarity you will see that even if she was a good fit for you, she wasn’t the right fit for you and that the thought of moving on is just scary to you. The future has yet to be determined, and we tend to cling to the past, when we haven’t figured out the next step we want to take is.

Getting one’s ex-girlfriend back isn’t always an easy process either. You have to determine if it is something that you really want to undertake or are you just chasing a shadow.

Would she even be open to a reunion? Has she moved on? Does she hate you? If your ex-girlfriend isn’t even attracted to you anymore, then it is a safe assumption that it’s going to be a tough road to haul.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What is her current dating situation? If she is seeing other guys or especially, if she is with one man exclusively, these are pretty high barriers. Not impossible to overcome, but things that need to be considered, when trying to re-spark a broken relationship.

I write this section not to discourage you or get you down about the odds, but just so you’re aware that there are many difficulties. You might be surprised, as to how many folks get delusional, about how simply they can get another person to come back. Yes, it can be done, but it takes work, and is not guaranteed.

Let’s Get Real About the Situation

So, there is the somewhat unspoken fact that people actually do indeed date people they aren’t that physically attracted to.

This is especially true for women who can be greatly attracted by personality, status, intelligence, wealth, etc., while this stuff has less of an effect on men. We tend to want to date the hottest girl available to us in the short-term and her other qualities can hook us in for the longer term.

Why do I bring this up? If a girl who wasn’t all that attracted to you physically in the first place, falls out of love with you for whatever reason, you can be up shit’s creek trying to win her back.

She actually may not find you sexy anymore, and as a man, you need to accept that fact and remind yourself that it’s okay. Just because one girl isn’t attracted to you anymore doesn’t mean all girls will feel the same. It might be time for you to forget about it and move on.

Other guys reading this may be in an entirely different circumstance, where the girl is still physically attracted to you, she just hates the rest of you.

In either case, what is required is an overhaul of her perception of you.

Boiled down to its base, what is attraction? A positive perception of another person.

For instance, imagine a guy who goes to a nightclub on two separate nights. On the first night, he goes alone and stands by himself. On the second night, he goes to the club with friends and is surrounded by women chatting and flirting with him. Which one is more attractive to the other women in the bar?

The guy who is socializing of course. He is displaying more attractive traits on the second night, even though, he is the same exact person! The only thing that changed was the women in the club’s perception of him.

Perception is involved in every aspect of attraction. (Side note: I wrote an entire Kindle ebook about shifting perceptions for attraction: Game without Games). 

If you’re a guy who has ever undergone a significant physical transformation, you probably noticed extra female attention when you got yourself into really good physical shape.

Why? Your perceived value was higher. This is what makes it so difficult to get back an ex when they are no longer attracted to you, as you now have to alter how they think of you, convince them to come back, and make the changes necessary to keep the relationship going long-term….that’s a tall order for anyone.

However, depending on the variables involved in one’s own situation, the shift needed to re-attract the ex; may not be all that much. If her feelings toward you are still particularly strong (she still wants you, but there are certain things about you or the relationship causing her to be hesitant), then the shift in perception may involve only one or two things.

For other guys, it’s like trying to rebuild a house that’s burnt to the ground, everything needs to be replaced.

Oh! What to do?!

Women lust for him…

There are too many variables at play to address every guy’s specific circumstances, and what to focus on, to try to re-attract his ex.

The first step that I would focus on, is going no contact in order to let things cool off, on both person’s end. If she contacts you, be cordial and pleasant, but don’t be whiny and emotional about ‘our relationship’.

Let me just say, that begging and pestering a girl with texts is not attractive. Nobody likes a pushover and women want to date a man, not a lapdog.

The emotional pleading is more likely to make her less attracted to you, as she will now be more apt to compare you with other men. Those men will probably act confident, not needy, and highly attractive to her eyes. If you take the opposite tact, good luck buddy…

We all tend to compare the person(s) we’re currently dating with those we have in the past. It’s natural. This is especially true, when the break up was recent. So, if your ex is dating or sleeping with other guys, that comparison will happen.

Don’t give her mind any more reasons, to reinforce negative thoughts about you. Things need to begin to shift to at least neutral and right on up to highly positive.

Then during No Contact, figure out what it is that she isn’t attracted to anymore, and work on altering those perceptions. You might already know for sure, you might have a hunch, or be able to deduce some things.

That’s good, actually put in the effort to learn what you can improve upon, and then do it. We all have areas that we need to grown in, so, don’t take it as some offense to ‘who you are’ Who you are changes constantly, you just don’t notice, which is why 12 year old you is different from 25 year old you.

These changes could range from physical appearance, to being a jerk, to being selfish, to social standing, lack of passion, lack of drive in life or any other of the many possibilities.

You are now on the outside looking in. Since you already have a history with her, you are not starting on the same level as a guy, who she has never met before. They get fertile soil from which to impress upon her who they are, while you’re dealing with scorched earth.

There is something or many things about you currently, that is not meeting her needs as a woman. These needs could be sexual, emotional, social, or even based in trust or lack thereof. Consider her needs and where you are not up to par.

Now, this won’t necessarily get her back but it is a part in the attempt to do so. Figure out where things in your former relationship were failing and that will give you the best shot at a reconciliation.

Obviously, the failed relationship isn’t all your fault. It takes two, to make it work, and she has plenty of faults I’m sure. However, her faults are outside of your control, while you can improve upon yourself. Whether the improvements work for fixing this relationship or not, you get to carry them forward, into future dealings with women…which makes attraction much easier.

What’s the first move?

Once a period of No Contact has been established and worked through, it can then be time to open up a channel of communication with an ex-girlfriend.

To become re-attracted, she is going to need to see both you and the changes, first hand. Now, how we get to that point is easier said than done. After all, contact after a break up is tricky, and it can be tough to get things back on track.

Luckily, technology actually can help, in this regard. Texting is a medium that doesn’t really require the other person to have to do much and can be tailored to send them the right message.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

I linked to a two free reports about what not to text an ex, up near the top of the post. Hopefully, you took the time to grab your copies of them. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Regret Leaving You

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Ahhhhhh, the gamesmanship of human relationships. It can be a funny thing sometimes to see how it develops and changes over the course of many months or years. From the initial meeting, where the game is a subtle dance of attraction and trying to get yourself a girlfriend. To the post-breakup mess of trying to show up the other person by how quickly you can move on or supposedly ‘upgrade’ to a better chick. In reality, this types of actions are really just shallow and petty.

I don’t subscribe to the notion that someone ‘wins’ at the end of a relationship (even if it’s a divorce and the courts award financial payments from one party to another). To me, it is just representative of a change in life, just like any other. No different from any other breakup or a change in friends as one grows more mature.

So, the question begs, how does one make an ex-girlfriend regret leaving you? The true answer is not to focus on it or even concern yourself with it. In this post, I want to explore a little bit as to what I mean exactly and how this can be implemented into a man’s life and core values.

Think About What You’re Actually ‘Winning’ or Trying to ‘Win’

make dem changes

make dem changes

OK, so you want to make your ex sorry that she ever left you. Cool. Why is that? Is there some award that your name comes up for when you accomplish this? No? Then why should you focus your time on such a feat?

Break down what is really going on here. Break things down to its base. You want to make her feel regret (bad emotions) because you currently have, said bad emotions, and by shifting those to her you will elevate yourself to a better emotional state.

So, instead of moving forward in your life without her or perhaps even thinking about how to possibly fix the relationship, you want to dedicate time towards trying to get the upper hand in some mental narrative you have going?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

For a moment, I would like for you to consider not focusing on how to make her feel bad about letting you go, rather, try to gain mental clarity and focus on letting your attachment to this idea of regret go.

People come and go out of our lives. Sometimes, it’s a simple change and other times it can be an ugly breakup when egos are seriously invested. Chasing after petty points and victories after a breakup are ultimately very hollow ‘wins’.

You’ve really only succeeded in possibly hurting someone you probably still care about on some level and have given a boost to your own ego instead of turning your attention inward and making your own life better and more vibrant.

The Pang of Regret

Alright, it’s hard for one person to truly regret having another person in their lives, if that person is always contacting them. A lot of guys follow up relationships, with a constant barrage of texts or trying to weasel their way back into their ex-girlfriend’s life.

How is a woman going to feel like she’s lost an important man in her life, when that guy is behaving like some kind of underling? Desperation isn’t attractive. Begging and pleading isn’t attractive. Nor is obsessing about one girl who you are no longer with.

As such, if a guy wants to make his ex feel some sort of regret for breaking things off, he can’t be in this constantly needy position. After all, why would someone miss another person, who they could have back any time they wanted? It makes no sense.

So, the No Contact Rule should be brought into effect in this scenario. Now, there are certain exceptions to going No Contact, such as having to talk to them because you have children or some other circumstance. However, it is a complete cut off of all non-essential communications.

People often want what they can’t have, and if a guy is always available, that just signals that she can have you whenever is convenient for her.

In order to make No Contact work, there does need to be a letting go of the idealized mental version of the woman, and the hurt/hatred that is being felt toward her. One is much more likely to call or text, if he can’t stop thinking about a woman, than if he accepts that things are probably over.

People Notice When You Build Yourself Up and Not Tear Others Down

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The funny thing is that, girls will tend to notice the positive changes you make within your life and how you’ve changed as a person. So, if you’re focusing on self improvement rather than simply trying to make her feel regret, she might naturally come to regret breaking up with you simply because you’ve become such a great person with an awesome life.

I’ve seen this sort of thing in action first hand. Back when I couldn’t get girlfriends, dates, sex, etc. I would think that I was simply not attractive to women and I’d never be able to get very much if anything.

I was partly correct, I wasn’t attractive to women, at that time. However, I could develop myself into the man I wanted to be and thereby attract women into the world I created for myself.

This included reading books constantly, getting into better shape physically, learning to socialize, developing my personal philosophy, pursuing my passions, working on my ideal lifestyle, etc.

All of these things in totality, over the years, has yielded a much greater ability to attract women and make them want to be a part of my life. I wrote about all of this in my Kindle book: Game without Games. Plus, my Online Dating Guide for Men

Even girls who knew me back when I was without confidence or skill, took notice of the change and some even made themselves available to me. Like from having disdain toward me talking to them, to trying to sleep with me. It was utterly bizarre for my younger self to see such a difference.

The journey of life is ultimately about yourself, and coming to terms with your existence in a world, that can be flat out crazy and brutal.

It can however, also be beautiful, and gearing yourself up to pursue the beautiful in life has plenty of benefits. One of which being, that people are naturally attracted to confidence and guys who make their lives their own.

So, in a very real way, the key to make someone regret leaving you behind, is to not focus on making them feel regret.

The key is to focus on yourself and creating your ideal life. Let other people have their pettiness and emotional manipulations. You should rise above that, understand what they’re doing, and love them anyways.

The revenge notion or getting the better of someone post-breakup is quite frankly a waste of time. Don’t let yourself become controlled by these intense emotions but let yourself observe them arise and notice how they effect your thinking in a negative manner.

Also, if you truly want your ex-girlfriend to even want you back, do you think you’re going to honestly accomplish this by trying to make her feel negative emotions instead of pure attraction? As I’ve written here before:

Oftentimes, when you take the time to gain clarity you will see that even if she was a good fit for you, she wasn’t the right fit for you and that the thought of moving on is just scary to you. The future has yet to be determined and we tend to cling to the past when we haven’t figured out the next step we want to take is.

How to Become the Desirable Man

Women lust for him…

In order for anyone to want a guy (or want him back after a breakup), he has to be desirable. There’s no way around this fact, if someone or something isn’t appealing to our human sensibilities, we don’t feel the need to have it.

Conversely, if lots of people want someone or something around, it creates a multiplier effect of many more people wanting it.

For example, let’s say there were to identical men in a bar or night club. One man was surrounded by adoring women and having a blast with his male friends. The other identical man, was standing alone, and had some really nervous body language going on…which guy would be more attractive to an outsider viewing this situation?

The guy surrounded by people of course. Their looks are the same and everything else about them is identical, except their social status within the context of the bar, and the body language.

So, in order to be a desirable man to women, it has to be about more than just being physically attractive. Everything about you is taken into account and if you improve each variable enough, you suddenly find yourself having way more women after you. Including, ex-girlfriends.

It’s all sort of like creating a player in a video game such as, Madden or FIFA. If the character scores a 99 in speed, but has low rated skills, he’s not going to be very useful in the game. However, if that speedy character’s shooting and passing rating is boosted, he becomes a player that clubs would want to sign.

This is what it’s like for men, in the dating/social world. Yes, looks and money are a part of the equation, but they’re not everything. How you carry yourself, treat people, education, work, how funny you are, etc. all factor in.

As such, a girl might not want you if you’re an average looking guy, with no other attributes that are outstanding. However, she could very well want you, if you were slightly better looking, and developed a captivating personality. Plus, had become much more socially adept. Suddenly, that player rated a 60 overall, is now an 83 overall. He has much more value, in the sexual marketplace.

This is exactly as it happened for me. I focused on improving myself, letting my psychological ‘problems’ go, and just striving to be better. All of those changes added up and so did the number of women, who were into these updated versions of myself.

The most immediate changes that one can make are to the physical body and personal style (way you dress/groom). Dramatic positive change can trigger feelings of regret in an ex, when they see visibly how much you have changed since the breakup…”Is he doing better without me? Maybe I was wrong?”

The next level is the mental change, which can take longer, in order to root out the bad habits we pick up over the years. A guy who has himself in a solid place emotionally, works on his faults, and reaches a level of contentment in his life; is inherently attractive.

Then, you have the lifestyle change. This can involve: better work opportunities, more money, active social life, and just generally being in a better life situation than you were before.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$3.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How Do I Make My Ex-Girlfriend Jealous?

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After a break up, there is almost always a flood of new emotions to deal with in the aftermath. As guys, most of us are not used to having such intense feelings in our day to day lives. So, we are not always equipped to handle them. The pain and the sadness are just a few of those emotional indicators of loss, but later on in the process another one can emerge, and that is jealousy.

Jealousy may be, the most unattractive, or one of the most unattractive qualities that a person can have. It’s awful, it clouds judgment, and makes a person behave irrationally. On the flip side, causing someone else to feel jealous towards you and your life is often a guilty pleasure and ego boost. When a relationship ends, former lovers can become bitter rivals and plenty of guys (and girls) want to know how they can succeed at making their ex jealous.

 

Why do you want to make your ex-girlfriend jealous?

Listen, I know that the stakes seem high after things end with your girlfriend and it can seem really enticing to one-up her and get with a hotter girl and rub it in her face.

However, what’s the point? Ultimately, what do you achieve by pursuing this course, other than being petty? Don’t try to justify it by saying that she started it by trying to make you jealous, either.

If her actions are dictating yours, then she effectively owns you. She should not be able to get under your skin whenever she pleases. You should be able to accept change in your love life, without resorting to a pointless back and forth.

I know, I know, there is some weird satisfaction that we all can get when we feel we have gotten the better of someone. This can especially be true, when we feel like we were betrayed. Seriously, though, why expend the energy? Just to make some girl that you either used to or still love, feel bad? Does she live rent free in your head? If you’re truly over her, you wouldn’t care at all.

Think about it. You’ve probably dated other women, right? If you’re in your late 20s or 30s at least, you probably had a girl in high school or college. Do you give a damn about that relationship nowadays? Or is it just another memory, that rarely comes up in your life?

You wouldn’t go out of your way to make those old girlfriends jealous, so why bother with this one? Because it is a fresh wound? Because she is sleeping with other guys? Let it heal and move on with your life, or, if you want to reconcile the relationship…why are you trying to hurt her?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

There are no winners and losers

I think that one of the largest causes of people attempting to create jealousy with their ex, is this idiotic notion of ‘winning’ the break up. As if, one of the former partners getting a new lover(s) is an ‘upgrade’ over their ex.

Jesus, did you not once care deeply for one another?  Why not choose to remember that time, instead of focusing on how it went wrong. Yes, it may have gotten ugly…but that’s life. Things change, relationships change, and time moves forwards as it always has.

Get out of the mindset that you must score some victory over your ex-girlfriend by getting with a bunch of new girls (and making sure she knows all about it) and just accept that this aspect of your life is no longer the same. I mean, get with all of those girls if you want, but don’t do it out of spite. (Heck, I wrote a book on the subject of getting more women, if you’re so inclined: Game Without Games)

Regardless, of what she does, as a man you need to keep control of your mental faculties and never let her attempts for attention make you act as she wants. If she wants you to be jealous, you are only serving to feed her ego when you comply and get all worked up about whatever she is doing.

 

What You Should Be Doing

While trying to one-up your ex and making her become green with envy is a waste of time, bettering yourself for all future prospects, is actually a great idea. Improving your health, appearance, emotional control, addictions, dating life, and financial standing will go a long way to helping you have a smooth transition out of the old relationship and into the future.

After all, it is hard to wallow in the past, when you have a ton of new experiences and opportunities to take advantage of.

Also, creating these new circumstances for yourself is inherently attractive. This is of course important for getting an influx of new girls in your life, but also, it helps if the possibility arises for you and the ex to get back together (if that’s what you want). If that is what you want then it is especially important not to be petty after a break up because it will only serve to stir up further emotions and make it even more difficult to reconcile with one another.

After a break up, prepare yourself to go forward in life with or without your ex-girlfriend. Your life is about you and not her. Make it the best you can and if she wants to be apart of it, then you can consider it, but if not…then it is time to move on. Why care about trying to make a woman jealous, that you’re no longer together? A whole lot of women are emotional or jealous of others for no reason. It’s not really an accomplishment, to push one into that state of mind.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Should You Try to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back from Her New Boyfriend?

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There seems to be a definite abundance of cases in which guys still want their ex-girlfriends back…even when she is now with another guy. I mean, she has a new boyfriend, has seemingly move on with this relationship, and you still want her back? Hmmm, that’s a hard one to pull off and one in all honesty, may not be worth the price of admission, so to speak. The name of this website is exbackormoveon.com and the real question that people need to seriously ask themselves is built into the title, should you try to get your ex back or should you just simply move on with your life?

 

Let’s Consider the Moving On First

Honestly, the best answer for your future and well-being, is probably the one you don’t want to hear in the moment. The fact of the matter is, if your ex-girl is now in a relationship with another guy, you should be making preparations to move on with your own dating life. Whether or not, you ever do get back together, you should mentally prepare yourself to push forward with your own life independent from her.

Forgetting about someone is definitely tough and the loneliness is downright awful at times. However, it is simply in the nature of things that new relationships occur, mature, and indeed ultimately perish. There is no good reason that you should be wasting your  years hoping for someone that might be gone for good…not to say that it can’t happen again with them. Only that, now isn’t that time, and that you should be building a quality life for yourself regardless if they come back to you or not.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Not To Do and What To Do whether Moving On or Not

What is certain about such a situation is that chasing after the girl, obsessing, and making bold declarations of love is not the path to take. It only serves to make a man look desperate (which is inherently unattractive) and will most likely repel them further away from you.

Taking the opposite tact and focusing on improving your own life and allowing new girls to flow into it is the best course of action to take? Why? Well, not only will it help you cope and move on without her, it will also raise your perceived value. So, on the off chance in the future your ex-girlfriend wants you back she will see that you can indeed survive and thrive without her.

Stagnation and obsession are not attractive qualities. In order to get any woman, even one who already knows you, she has to believe that you’re her best option for getting what she wants. If that’s a successful relationship, she’s probably not going to want to run back to a failed one, when absolutely nothing has changed and feelings have soured toward one another.

Also, you cannot give a damn about the other guy. Her new boyfriend IS her boyfriend now, not you, so talking shit about him or sweating their relationship isn’t going to make her be a big fan of yours. He is her preferred choice, at the moment, and if you try to force her hand (to break up with him), she’s going to stay with him (and probably be that much more committed).

A lot of this is outside of your control, as you’re dealing with two external variables (your ex and the new man), but what you have control over is you. You can control what smart things you do and what things you shouldn’t do to further mess up any potential chance at reconciliation.

Understand, that it can often take a long time for an ex-girl to even want to come back to you and at that point, it might be you who wants nothing to do with them. I’ve had exes contact me 4-5 years after the fact. As if, time had stood still for me, and that I would even be interested in rehashing such an old relationship.

Sure, her current relationship with another guy could be one that isn’t very serious and if it doesn’t work out she could come back and start sniffing around to rekindle your relationship…but you can’t bank on that, so it makes sense to prep for the more likely scenario.

How to Handle the Thoughts of Her Sleeping with a New Guy?

This is where a lot of men mess up, I think. They can handle not being desperate or texting her all of the time or whatever, in normal circumstances. However, once the thoughts of her having sex with the new boyfriend start creeping in his mind, that’s when everything comes off of the rails and he’s back to acting desperate.

I’ve written a whole post, How to Handle an Ex-Girlfriend Sleeping with Other Men, so I won’t rehash everything here. Suffice to say, the road to acceptance, if a huge part of being able to have any sort of future with this girl. Even if she comes back, you cannot have these thoughts derailing you, when trying to start a new relationship together.

More importantly now, these type of negative thought patterns can stir up anger and other emotions, that aren’t going to be a help to what you want to accomplish. You have to be able to keep your cool, through this process, and accept whatever outcome results.

 

Taking Time Away

In this situation, there is already an established time apart from one another, that was put in place by her. She has a new boyfriend and therefore cannot be talking to her ex, constantly. From the other side of things, you need to follow that lead, and do a period of No Contact with her. It’s pretty easy to enforce, just stop badgering her.

But won’t she forget about me? Won’t that push her to the other guy more? Again, we can only control our variables, and not what she is doing. If we try to interfere with her decisions, she’ll likely just get pushed further from wanting anything to do with you. There is also no guarantee that she’ll feel closer to that guy in a month or two. He might actually suck. Though, maybe he’s an awesome match for her.

That’s another thing outside of our control, but there are plenty of times, when people get into relationships with people who turn out to be less than expected. A quick period of being super into them, and then experiencing what they’re actually like, which can create disillusionment.

She might dump him or he might dump her. We don’t have any clear insight into their intentions, so biding time, is the best strategy.

Anyhow, the time apart is important. It’ll give you clarity about your future, the intense emotions calm down, and you can make yourself a better man. All of which is a prerequisite for starting a second relationship, with an ex-girlfriend, because the original one is done for good no matter what.

With more information becoming available to us over time, we can then make much better decisions about how to proceed. We are coming at it from the point of view of what is more attractive to a woman: Her annoying ex-boyfriend who calls or texts constantly and is super jealous OR her ex-boyfriend who isn’t bothering her, seems cool with her decision, and is improving his own life?

 

What to Do During No Contact

What would any potential attractive situation for her getting back together with you entail? What were the downsides to the relationship? Did you have anger issues? Lack of commitment? What was it?

One needs to be honest with themselves, about what they need to improve upon, or else you’re going to get the same results…again and again.

Begin to work on your own faults, during this time apart. Not only that, but improve upon aspects of your life that YOU want to focus on, regardless of her.

This can include:

  • improving yourself physically. It’s the basic way of sparking attraction, after all.
  • Working on any emotional problems, negativity, listening skills, empathy, etc. I had some anger issues when I was younger, like real quick to get pissed off, and that was one of the first things that I changed about myself when self-improving. People I hadn’t seen in a while, would always comment how mellow and happier, I seemed. These changes can be a huge part of how people perceive you. Including, those who’ve known you for a long time.
  • Financial and/or career. Money and the path you’re taking in life, can have a big impact on your relationships. Not only that, but also for you as an individual. Take the time to assess what you want and if you’re even on the right path.

 

Establishing Contact

So, after 30-60 days or no contact, the picture will become clearer and it may be time to try and re-establish a connection with the ex-girlfriend. If she was just in a rebound relationship, it very well may have already run its course, and she might be looking to jump ship. Heck, it might have ended already after 1-2 months.

Probably the easiest way to begin to establish contact once again, is through text messaging. After all, it is non-intrusive, and doesn’t require very much to get her to respond. The easiest way to get her to talk, is usually the best way, set the bar really low.

Where does one begin? Well, there are all sorts of variable that can come into play. Knowing where to start is a process of learning. Fortunately, relationship expert Michael Fiore, has a program for getting back in touch with and winning over an ex, called: Text Your Ex Back.

This has been used by thousands of people to re-kindle their broken relationships. Hopefully, you had a chance to download the free guy, linked towards the top of the page about what not to text to an ex-girlfriend. Michael’s program will show you, what you SHOULD text them, and is risk free to try for 60 days. Click the picture below, to watch a video on the process.

 

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Forget About Your Ex: Getting Over it and Moving On

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There comes a time, after we have been dumped, cheated on, or gotten out of a toxic relationship, when we just want to move forward with or lives and no longer think of our ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s natural and admirable to want to push forward, without someone we were so close to for so long. However, often, just getting them out of our minds and forgetting the exist for long enough to focus on other areas of ourselves can be an absolute grind. Though, we know inherently that there must be a way out of the fog, but how do we ultimately forget about an ex completely?

 

What are These Feelings?

Many of the feelings that come with the ending of a long-term relationship are negative, in part, because there is a fear of one’s old way of life collapsing and that things will never be the same again. It seems like a really scary thing, that life will no longer carry on as it has before, and that uncertainty will rule the day.

The thing about it is, life is always changing. and people will come in and out of your life. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the life of a human being is.

If your an older reader of this website, I’m sure you can remember dating someone who felt very significant to you in high school or college. When the two of you broke up, it almost certainly seemed like a really big deal, to your young self. Nowadays, you probably don’t ever think about them, and if you do it surely isn’t as emotional as it once was for you. It becomes sort of a faded memory or a pang of nostalgia.

Younger readers, probably don’t have the same experience in dealing with break ups of relationships. This experience and flood of emotion is a new thing for you. I know how tough it can be the first time something like this happens in your life. However, billions of other people throughout time have successfully gotten through it, so you can indeed get through it also.

Just understand that these powerful emotions can make you more impulsive, than you usually would be. As such, we must take care, not to let ourselves make any really poor decisions during the healing process.

What Can One Do?

As I have moved my way through life and experience my own heartbreak, I have come to learn how to get over my feelings for my ex-girlfriends and keep pushing myself forward. It isn’t always an easy or even a pleasant process to have to get through, but I always feel that at the end, it is a rewarding one.

After all, nothing worth having, isn’t a difficult thing to attain. The highs of love wouldn’t be as high. if they weren’t accompanied by, the lowest of lows after a relationship has ended. Each time, I have grown as a person, and gathered plenty of wisdom about what I want or who I don’t want around me.

I have found out over the years that a lot of the addictive qualities of my past relationships were spurred on my a sort of co-dependency with that girl. Meaning, I was always searching for that next ‘high’ and expecting her to validate my feelings and self-worth, just as I had done for her.

I have found out the hard way that if I am not happy with myself first, that, I can never be happy because of her. She CANNOT make me happy. A relationship is there to simply enhance my life experience and perhaps to grow along with one another. Searching for happiness through, relationship after relationship, is ultimately a pointless endeavor.

Going No Contact with Them

Another thing that I always like to do for some period of time following a relationship is applying the No Contact Rule. I do this, to simply give myself some breathing room, without their influence over my emotions. The more I am away from them after a break up, the faster I can return to my rational state of mind. No Contact forces me to be on my own and learn how to function in my life without my ex-girlfriend. I wrote about this process in detail, here.

Time is a very important factor after a break up. A break up is a loss, emotionally. It definitely takes the wind out of your sails for quite a while. What I always allow myself to do after a break up is to essentially grieve its loss for some time.

I allow myself to feel these emotions and not try to cover them up or ignore any pain that I feel. I pull myself together in order to get through the work day, or whatever else, I might have going on. Though, when I get home I can be by myself, and truly let myself feel the loss.

I usually set aside a set amount of time during the evening, if I need it that day. This process doesn’t go on forever, but, it is important to get emotions out in a healthy way. I strictly adhere to a time limit for each day, though. So, I might give myself an hour to feel bad, meditate, and let go of those emotions for the day. I don’t allow myself to continue to wallow and reinforce the bad feelings.

Transitioning to the Positive

How I transition out of those negative feelings, is by slowly adding more and more positive activities into my life. Exercising, reading, meditation, or whatever else that lets me have positive emotions, I will use to replace me moping around the house or crying about the break up. This reinforces good behavioral patterns, and allows me to feel positive feelings, so that I am not just stuck in some dark place for an extended period of time.

It is important to note that, these positive activities can be extremely small things, which add up in the cumulative. So, listening to upbeat music might be one way. Initially, I just want to alter my mood towards the positive, as much as I can. It’s a small step, but our brains sort of need to relearn to be in a normal state during this time.

I also use this time post-breakup, to alter my feeling towards my now ex-girlfriend. I stop myself from idealizing the relationship and only focusing on what I thought were the good times between us.

I adopt a realism, that our relationship had enough problems that it needed to end when it did. Even if we were to re-kindle things, it would have to grow into a different relationship or fail again. I will eventually remind myself that, there are indeed other girls worth pursuing, and eventually start dating again in due time.

On the other side of the coin, even if I dislike her strongly for how things ended, I don’t give into the hatred. I want to accept things as they are and let go of her as an influence, not build her to be some kind of adversary in my own mind.

I know that I have to accept the fact that the way I may feel is not the way she might feel. Meaning, if I still want a relationship with her, I must accept the fact that she might simply just want to move on with her life without me. She may still love me but not want to be with me.

I must accept that things have indeed changed, to the extent that, the same relationship together is no longer possible. Significant changes would have to be made, for us to even think about being together in the future.

The best way to move on from an ex after a relationship is to focus on yourself and your life. Growth is an important aspect of moving on because you can’t get past your emotions if you’re constantly revisiting the past. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, find ways to experience positive emotions, find new ways to grow and experience life, and accept that things are no longer the same and your paths may not cross again. Here are some other helpful posts:

Stop Being Needy Post-Break Up

How to Cope with Loneliness

Ex Back or Move on Homepage

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Should I Take my Ex-Boyfriend Back after He Dumped Me?

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Sometimes when relationships end, the person who ended the partnership, has a change of heart and later decides that this move away from their ex was a mistake. Perhaps, the breakup was a hasty or emotionally charged decision that they confirmed was a mistake once they had cleared their heads and began to think logically. Other times, they find out how rough the single life can sometimes be and want to return to the safety of something familiar. Either way, the person who got dumped has a decision to make as to whether or not they want to accept their ex back into their lives on that level. Should you take your ex-boyfriend back after he broke up with you? Well, that depends on you, your situation, and what you want for your future.

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Get to the Root Cause of Why He Wants You Again

The first thing that you should assess, even before whether or not you want to take him back, is why did he break up with you in the first place? Sometimes, his reasoning for leaving you will reveal more than what you want from a relationship because it can often indicate if he is truly serious or not.

Think about it. If he broke up with you because he wanted to go out with a bunch of different girls, have things changed in his mind to make him want to be monogamous with you now? If he was nervous about commitment on a deeper level, has he suddenly become Mr. Ready to Marry during your time apart?

He might very well truly want to be with you but he could also just be lonely or having trouble meeting other women and so came crawling back. What are his reasons for wanting to be with you again, if things were so bad that he dumped you in the first place?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You cannot just automatically assume that he is in it for the long haul and really does want a relationship with you again, even if he says he does. He could be just as confused about things as you are and just be grasping for some level of stability.

Yes, there is the possibility that he truly realizes that he made a mistake by letting you go. There is the ‘grass is always greener’ scenario in life. Perhaps he feared commitment before, but recognized that the dating scene wasn’t all that great, and so needs to get back together.

Another point, is that he might have gotten caught up in the emotional turmoil of the break up. He dumped you for some reason, perhaps was upset about something involving the two of you, and then cooled down later after the damage was done. Now, pride kicks in, and it takes him a while to gather the courage to ask to get back together. He was impulsive and broke up with you for a frivolous reason.

It gets lonely sometimes

What Has Changed?

There are always reasons for breakups. Sometimes they’re major and other times they are quite minor and silly to think about. However, no matter what the problem was, if there is not a solution, then you are simply getting back into a broken relationship. If that’s the case, it’s best to just forget about him and move on.

Think about what you’re relationship’s problems were. Was it equally split between the two of you or was he the main culprit for the issues that popped up? If cheating was involved (especially on his part) then a vast majority of the time it is a very bad idea to get back together.

People always pronounce that they are going to change and they may even show strides towards making that a reality…BUT…the truth of the matter is that change is extremely difficult for people to make. Change isn’t just a superficial paint job to cover up the mistakes and problems of the past, rather, it is something which needs to occur on a fundamental level in order to truly be effective.

With that in mind, question what about your relationship has changed and what will change for the better if you do decide to take him back. Things don’t go back to being the same just because you want them to.

In fact, it’s almost as if you are creating a new relationship from scratch, since the old one was obviously broken in some way or multiple ways. Be level-headed and logical to avoid falling into the trap of chasing what you had in the past together and if you cannot see a viable future, then it is time to accept the breakup once and for all.

If you decide to start talking to him again, about the possibility of reconciling the relationship, and you’re getting the vibe that his motives aren’t what he says they are…it’s a valid reason to end it and move on with your life. Changes need to materialize at some point and it’ll be a waste of your time, to simply get stuck in the same rut again, that caused the original split.

 

What Do You Want?

Ultimately, you must decide what you want for your life and what type of relationship you want to be in. Nostalgia and those intense feelings you may still have for him are not enough to make a relationship work. Nor do they mean that getting back with him is the best decision for you and your life.

It’s really tough to let someone you love go but when it comes to dysfunctional relationships, it truly is the best choice to make.

If you don’t have a clear picture of what you want to do with your life, or that he should definitely be the guy you want to be with for the long haul; it is a good idea to not take him back. This is not a decision to be taken lightly or to make impulsively, as getting back into a bad relationship or one that has run its course, will lead to bad results and waste large potions of you time.

Think long and hard about this, don’t be in an emotional state, weigh the pros and cons, and eventually a clear picture will emerge. If one doesn’t then you probably shouldn’t get back together.

Where do you see things in five years? Both in your life and career, but also for the type of relationship that you want. Can he actually fit into this scenario? If you want marriage and kids and he doesn’t, is it going to be worth fixing this boyfriend/girlfriend scenario? Shouldn’t you instead spend your time getting your life the way you want it, so that when you meet the right guy, everything is set?

It can be tough because of these emotional attachments that we have to people. In the short-term, it hurts like hell to let them go, because they can supply strong positive feelings when they’re around. The problem is, in the long-term, it can derail what you want from life if they aren’t the right person. The right person when you’re 20, might be completely wrong for you at 27 years old. The idea is to mature and grow together, if he isn’t capable, then what’s the point?

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