When a relationship fails, there is usually a period of uncertainty for both parties. Neither may have a clear picture of what their next move is going to be. The paths that your ex-boyfriend can choose are many.
Sometimes, he will opt to be single, for a while. Either to help himself start a new chapter in his life or to simply focus on other things besides women.
While other times, he may chase a series of hookups, to either explore new possibilities or to aid in getting through the loneliness post breakup.
However, there are also cases in which a guy, will get himself into another serious relationship.
Even right after he just go out of one, or he wants nothing more to do with his ex-girlfriend, and just wants to get on with his life.
Has He Really Moved On?
For that last batch of scenarios, it can be quite a challenge to attempt to get back together with your ex-boyfriend. A lot of the time, it is more trouble to try, than it is worth.
When someone truly makes a concrete decision to move forward from a relationship, it tends to be a thing of certainty, and if he really believes in his decision there can be few things to do that can actually change his mind.
There needs to be a time, that you accept the fact, that he may actually be gone for good. Depending on what stage he’s gotten to in his moving on process, it may be likely that he is.
Regardless of whether the relationship can be fixed or not, it is best to at least prepare oneself mentally, for the chance that reconciliation will not take place.
Often times people need a reality check after a break up happens. It is essential to your well-being and future plans, that you cut out the idea in your head, that if you can only fix a few things then the relationship will magically be all good again.
If the two of you broke up, there were definite problems, it’s really that basic.
Things will not be the same if you get back together with him and if your thought patterns currently reflect this, you should recognize this as a form of hopeful delusion.
Things will not be the same as they were, even if you are able to pull him back with you, there has to be a rebirth of sorts, so that a new relationship can be forged from the shell of the old one.
It is just a fact of life that things change, people change, and relationships fail. If your ex-boyfriend seems to be moving on with his life, you should also try to do the same or at the very least learn to be happy with yourself on your own.
On your end, getting on from the break up means accepting your life situation as it is now and figuring out how to be content or happy by yourself.
Get past the pangs of loneliness and explore personal growth, so that in time, you can make a good and logical decision about what option you want to pursue…either getting him back or going a different direction in your life.
In the malaise and confusion of the post-breakup period, dependent and almost addictive feelings can emerge towards your former lover.
Having these feelings and trying to rid yourself of them is not a valid excuse for getting back together with your now ex. That is just trying to solve emotional dependency by any means necessary.
Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.
I know that after a split, there is can be a lot of uncertainty and fear. This can be quite intense when you see your ex-boyfriend moving on and you are still hoping that he will come back every singly day and you haven’t done much with yourself since he has been gone.
Sometimes, you can feel like if you fail to get back together with your ex, that you will end up alone.
That isn’t necessarily true (very unlikely, if you put forth effort dating) and the future has not yet been written. There are always more guys out there, and yes, some that are better fits than he was for you.
However, you also need to develop the skills to be strong enough and be happy on your own. You can’t just be forever stuck in the past, imagining a life with someone who may not even be interested in you any more.
This ex-boyfriend of yours might be together now with another girl and you feel like you want to get him back because you have some fear that this new girl might be a better match for him than you are.
What these types of feelings and notions really are, is your egoic self rearing its ugly head. These feelings rise up when one cannot accept change and the cycles of life, you feel as if you’ve lost and perhaps your value as a woman has been lowered.
This can turn into a quest to get your ex back (whether that is a good idea or not) because it feels like your self-worth is being determined by whether or not you can get this person to love you once again.
Don’t let these thoughts turn you into a petty and desperate person, who tries to stir up jealousy and break him up with his current girlfriend.
If you are at this stage, you have not yet accepted yourself, and you cannot be in a healthy relationship until you are happy with who you are and accept yourself fully.
- Ask yourself what has changed to make this relationship work now?
- Like, if a magical spell allowed you and your ex to be back together in an instant, what would allow things to work out now?
- Have any of the problems of the relationship been figured out to the point that things will run relatively smoothly?
- If you do not really understand the underlying issues of that relationship and can’t really think of ways things could be improved then what exactly are you chasing after?
- Chasing a guy simply because you feel lonely is a recipe for disaster because even if you get him back, how long is it going to last?
- How healthy of a relationship is it going to be?
- Is it just a complete waste of both of your time, to try and pursue something that may not even work out at all.
If you still really want him back…
There are some women who have actually been through the whole process of healing and growing as a person and still feel that they want their ex-boyfriend back in their lives.
If that is the case, and you feel like you’re in a really good spot emotionally and in your life. Then, you may consider using a program to help you get things going again with your ex.
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul