Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Told Me to Move On

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OK, so, the break up happened and now your ex is practically shouting at you to move on with your life. “Just forget about me” she says or she is dating someone else and wants you to stop clamoring for how things used to be. What is a guy to do when he finds himself in such a situation?

Well, there is the old adage, hope for the best but prepare for the worst and that is always an attitude you should take into any post-breakup scenario. The caveat being that, what you currently think is best (getting her back) isn’t always the case, and one needs to explore the possibilities of his own life moving forward.

What’s Your Situation? Does She Mean It?

She’s already said to forget about her and move on with your life. As such, you should take that at face value, that the relationship has now concluded and will not be reconciled. Is that always the case?

No, sometimes, women will have a change of heart but at this point in a break up it is usually a low percentage shot of that happening.

Now the specific situation depends on a number of variables such as if she is with another guy or if you did something especially egregious such as cheating with another woman, which has generated a lot of hate towards you.

The more factors such as these that are in play, the lower the odds of getting back together are, it’s just the way it goes.

However, even if the breakup seemed to come out of the blue and you can’t pinpoint a specific fault on your own end, the relationship might be doomed anyways.

Women generally don’t make these types of decisions on a whim and usually have an exit plan well in advance of actual separation.

Also, you need to factor in the length of time it has been since she dumped you. For instance, if she tells you to move on almost immediately after a breakup, there is a greater chance that she is acting on pure emotion and the statement might not be a concrete truth (although, it might).

However, if it’s been many weeks, months, or even years…then you really do need to get on with your life.

In any scenario, I still tend to just take what she says at face value, and reconsider that if I’m get overt signals from her that she didn’t actually mean it.

The best course of action has always seemed to me, to always to prepare myself for the total end of a relationship, even when it doesn’t come to pass. If I have an opportunity at reconciliation later, and that’s what I still want, then I can pursue that. Plus, I’ll be in a better position in my life, to do so.

Here’s Your Sign to Leave Her Alone

If you are getting no signs of a possible reconciliation and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture, is going to push her further away. Thus, she becomes more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought.

If you’ve evaluated your personal situation and the chances of getting back together are looking slim to none, then that means they usually are.

This is a very hard truth to face and some guys just refuse to ever comes to terms with this new change in their lives. It is not the end of the world, it is simply a new phase in your life.

There are like 4 billion females on the planet, so the odds are definitely in all of our favor, that we can literally find dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of better options than our ex-girlfriends depending on how much effort we are willing to put forth.

There was a time in your life before you knew her and dated her and there will be a time after…and YES, this time can be even better…I’ve been dumped multiple times and while it hurts, I always come back stronger.

Heck, I wrote a whole Kindle book about coming out of that turmoil, becoming stronger, better, and having many more women as a result:

Remember, girls can’t make you happy. They can enhance your life and create a feeling of dependence but they can never make you happy, only you can.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. Thus, we must work to move forward without her.

Do You Actually Want Her Back? Or, Taking Her Advice, and Moving On without Her.

Try to set your emotion and ego aside for a minute. What do you honestly miss about her? Get down to the roots of your attachment to this chick and ask yourself some questions.

What does she specifically provide that you could not get from any other girl? The pull of emotions is quite strong after a breakup and the clarity that comes with time passed and positive changes can have us feeling quite different about things.

For example, if you’re a guy who’s had several breakups in the past, do you still miss some girl you dated in high school? College?

These old girls rarely if ever cross my mind and I know that I’ll probably have at least a few more of these types of breakups at some point in my life. Am I going to let my life go to shit each time a woman has a change in heart? Hell no!

This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

  • Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
  • Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason.
  • Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
  • You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar and feels safe.
  • You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.
  • You don’t have a ready alternative available
  • Your ego is making it hard to let go

If you find yourself in a place in which your ex specifically tells you to move on with your life, you should definitely heed her words, and you’ll probably be thankful later that you did.

Sometimes, a breakup is the surest way to avoid a train wreck later, go read some divorce horror stories online if you don’t believe me. Yes, it’s going to suck getting through the emotional turmoil and loneliness but that’s part of being human…but it gets better.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after taking time by abiding by her wishes and leaving her be, assess the situation. What do you actually want?

Is she the right fit or merely a good one? Is there any real chance of getting back together? After all, both parties will have to buy into any new relationship. And it would be a new relationship, because the old one failed.

What would change? What would be better in any potentially new relationship? What are the problems that she brings to the relationship? What about yours?

What do you honestly want to be doing with your life in 5 years? Would she even fit into those plans? Or would things be okay for a while, before another break up took place?

Take time and honestly think about those questions.

In the mean time, during the period of No Contact, make serious efforts to work on your life, emotional, and physical well-being.  During these highly emotional times, one must be active in ensuring, that you get better, and not get dragged down into a dark place mentally.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get My Ex-Girlfriend Back If She’s Ignoring Me

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The time after a break up can be a confusing and harrowing experience to get through with your emotions in tact. At some point, in the ensuing weeks or months following the end of the relationship, your now ex-girlfriend can cut off contact with and flat out ignore you. This move can blindside a lot of guys because they’re not expecting it, as the girl that they were once super close with, now won’t even acknowledge that they exist. Why the hell isn’t she talking to me? What’s the deal with her ignoring my texts and phone calls? There are many potential reasons and variables associated with individual relationships but in this post I want to cover some of the common reasons that a woman will ignore you and some potential remedies for dealing with this situation.

With all of that in mind, let’s get into some potential reasons why an ex-girlfriend may all of the sudden no longer be paying you… any mind.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Why Is My Ex-Girlfriend Ignoring Me?

Moving On Has Begun

Let me be clear, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she has moved on entirely, or that she is gone for good. Things aren’t always that cut and dry.

However, ignoring you could be a sign that she is preparing herself to move forward without you or is currently seeing other guys, to help get through the post break up period.

Don’t freak out or anything, this isn’t always the case; but cutting off contact like this can be apart of the healing process for anybody after a relationship ends.

One can only begin to cope with emotions of loss and the void of loneliness once the constant stimulus is cut off of having to see and communicate with an ex. That constant reminder of someone, can be rough, as you know.

It’s really difficult to get one’s mind right when you have to constantly see someone who you’ve broken it off with. This is a potential reason why she is ignoring you when you try to communicate.

Moving on with another guy or multiple guys doesn’t mean that it’s a serious thing. Different people cope with the end of a relationship in different ways.

A lot of this behavior can be traced to not wanting to feel alone or wanting to get away from the constant stream of negative emotions. It can also at times be a signal that a new direction in life is going to be taken.

This moving on also doesn’t have to involve anyone else. She may very well decide that she’s going to take a break from dating period, at least for a while. As such, she not only isn’t going to talk to any new guys, but she also may have decided to cut off contact from you too.

Finally, there is the possibility that she is trying to move on with her life, without the relationship. At which point, a man needs to respect that and do the same.

Things change, time passes, and people enter or exit one another’s lives. It happens. This is probably the least likely reason because so many people have trouble moving past anything emotionally, but some folks do just cut ties and get on with living.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

She’s Irritated with You

This is more common when you are the one who got dumped. In the aftermath, you may still be really wanting to get back together and she’s not really having it. As such, we as men don’t take failure all that well at times, and so we begin to chase.

We may start calling and texting her way too much in order to try and convince her to come back, which only serves to push her further away.  At some point, she’ll have had enough and just cut off all contact as a way to stop being bothered by the constant attention.

Yes, it can be tough to deal with and our brain’s will tell us to keep pursuing, but we also need to know when we should back the hell off and give her space. Keep in mind that being subservient and constantly available is already an unattractive trait, even more so once a relationship has dissolved and you are very familiar to her.

The constant chatter and behaving like a lap dog that is available at her beck and call makes her feel less attraction. So, stop doing it. Nobody likes it when someone is always buzzing in their ears.

It can be difficult and there is this tendency to want to try and fix everything but you can’t really, at this point in time, so take a break and go No Contact if necessary.

So many people think they can just do some elaborate convincing and fix a broken relationship. That’s a pretty low percentage shot. In reality, it takes time, and effort.

Some of that time, has to be spent apart from one another, in order to gain clarity about how each person wants to proceed from the breakup.

If you think that you may be texting her too much, you probably are.

She’s Going No Contact

Yep, your ex-girlfriend might be using the same Jedi mind trick on you. This is more likely, in the event that you broke up with her, and less likely if you were the one who got dumped.

No Contact doesn’t always mean that someone is trying to get back together with their ex, though it could. It can also be an effective tool for getting over someone or just trying to get themselves into a solid mental state without the heavy emotions constantly weighing on them.

No Contact Rule is a ‘rule’ for a reason, lots of people use it, and it is effective. It is a multi-purpose strategy, used to gain control of your life and emotional state, after such a dramatic change. Also, if they want to get back together, at some point. It’s like buying time, to see which way the wind is blowing, for or against a reconciliation.

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Anger

Of course, there’s the old standby reason, she’s really mad. This can be the case when cheating was involved or some bad argument took place between the two of you. The more upset she is, obviously the less likely that she is going to want to talk or text for a while.

Anger can go both ways, sometimes its a temporary phase, and eventually cooler heads prevail. However, if the anger and resentment is strong enough, it can be a complete end to the relationship with no reconciliation.

Cheating as a break up cause, can often be a no win position to start from. Honestly, I wouldn’t take a girl back who cheated on me, so I expect that plenty of ladies out there also share the same principle.

In order to gauge this, you need to think about the specifics of your own relationship, and how things fell apart. This one is a very common reason, if the two of you have been arguing a lot.

Obviously, if you said or did some foul things, and all of the sudden she stopped replying to your texts…there’s you answer as to why.

What’s the Response?

When being ignored, you can’t just go and start chasing. That tends to push them further away. The best prescription is to go, No Contact on your end, and give her space for a spell of time.

A period of no contact can last a month or two. During that time period things can become much clearer as to what path you should take.

That can mean that you eventually pursue a reconciliation or decide to move forward with your own life. Thus leaving this relationship on the heap of the past.

You can’t always make a bold move in order to get someone back, this kind of thing requires a certain amount of patience, and sometimes the best move is to do nothing…for now, at least.

As men, we always tend to want to take action to fix a situation. But many times, the act of pursuit or trying to fix things, just makes it worse.  The more we chase, the more they run away.

Eventually, if you are still interested in pursuing a reconciliation, then you can try texting her and opening the lines of communication.

This is of course, a much easier task, if you haven’t completely pissed her off or cheated on her or were particularly terrible during/after the relationship.

It also is way easier when she isn’t thoroughly sick of being pestered and chased by you, when she’s trying ignore you. Patience is a virtue.

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After Begging

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So, you went to or contacted your ex-boyfriend and begged and pleaded for him to come back into a relationship with you. Didn’t go too well, did it? The problem with this strategy of reconciliation, is that, it doesn’t solve any of the underlying issues which led to the break up and it also knocks your perceived value down a few notches…that’s not good.

Nevertheless, is it still possible to get him back after you’ve already gotten down on your knees and begged him to make it so? Yes, it is possible but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is probable. In this post, I want to explore a bit more in depth on begging for your ex-boyfriend back and how to move forward with things after this has already happened.

I Begged Him to Take Me Back: On Perceived Value

make dem changes

Our perceptions define and influence so many decisions in our lives everyday. Literally, every aspect is run through our perceptive instruments (sight, touch, smell, etc) and then interpreted by our brains.

This includes how we value people, places, and things. For instance, a man in a business suit is perceived more favorably in general than the homeless man sitting on the corner in tattered rags.

The male model with hundreds of friends, fame, financial success is more highly valued (in social terms) than the nerdy guy playing WOW all day in his parent’s basement.

This carries over to relationship dynamics and desire. After the break up, one’s ex-boyfriend may already have a lowered perceived value of you, due to circumstances involved in the causes of the break up (lying, cheating, boredom, staleness, etc).

Now, this power dynamic may shift even further, if he is the one who initiated the end of the relationship. If only one party wanted the break up to happen, then that person holds all of the cards, as they at least on some level feels as if they no longer need the partnership in their lives.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, post-breakup, our perceptions of our former partners can change drastically. If an ex-boyfriend has a lowered perceived value of his old girlfriend and she comes back begging for him to resume the relationship, is this going to help or hurt her chances?

Obviously, it will further diminish the perceived value of the woman in his eyes. He already is preparing to move forward (how much so depends on the man and situation), and so, he is in a situation where he knows that he can get his ex back at anytime.

Why is this bad? Human beings have a tendency to overlook people/things that are already familiar and easily obtained. It’s not exciting and it’s not a turn on to have someone grovel to make things go back to how they once were.

It makes one appear unattractive and as if they don’t have any other option (whether that is true or not). The perceived value has been greatly diminished. It can be further taken down by displaying these sorts of characteristics:

  • emotional instability
  • obsessiveness
  • being way too available
  • neediness
  • showing no signs of being able to move forward

As a man, I can tell you that, most of the fun and desire upon meeting someone new is involved in the whole ‘chase’, so to speak.

Finding a new girl who doesn’t know you at all and then building that attraction is like trying to solve a complex problem to us. This is why if prostitution were legal in most places, a lot of guys would never go see one, as the whole ‘chase’ is gone…it’s too easy and just doesn’t feel natural.

This same type of feeling occurs when a relationship has ended and the perceived value is lowered…there’s nothing new or exciting, she’s begging him, and he has all the power to say yes whenever he so desires.

Desperation is never attractive. It can’t be based on the dynamics of human relationships.

As such, unless an ex-boyfriend has some sort of sick mind, that loves watching a woman beg…it’s going to not work out well. The begging and pleading strategy is probably the most common one out there, and if it worked well, there’d be way more people reconciling than actually are.

Does This Relationship Even Need to Be Re-Started?

The sun will come out...

The sun will come out…

Now that we have a general overview of what begging does to one’s perceived value following a break up with an ex-boyfriend, we must consider whether or not a reconciliation is even worth pursuing.

This is the ‘move on’ question posited by this website. I do not believe that most relationships should even be attempted to be salvaged. Many are too damaged, not good enough fits, and the desire for reconciliation is just based on loneliness and fear of being alone.

This is why I always like to grieve the end of a relationship, regroup, reassess whether or not I want to get back together, and then no matter what the decision…prepare myself mentally/emotionally that the relationship is probably done for good.

Understand that: even if you want an ex back, it isn’t always a reality and one should always prep for the most likely scenario, especially when that’s something you might not want to come to pass.

This is the part where one must dig in, and try to strip away all emotional baggage to the best of one’s ability, in order to determine whether or not it is even worth getting back together.

We have a tendency to idealize a relationship once its over and that empty feeling we get inside, impels us to try to reconcile in hopes that it makes us feel better. It’s often not even the person or the relationship that we miss, just the positive emotional boost we got from it.

The main flaw with chasing a broken relationship, is that, even if it succeeds the fundamental issues which led to the break up are still lurking around.

Just because reconciliation happens doesn’t mean that everything is all good now. In fact, things generally tend to get worse after a brief ‘honeymoon’ period.

Ask yourself, what are the underlying problems with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Are they on him? Are some on you? What is the likelihood that either of you will change? Can you honestly say that getting back together is actually what you want? What will things look like a year from now, if you succeed? Better? The same? Worse?

If there are consistent doubts to the likelihood of success either getting back together or keeping it that way once you have or if it is truly what you want to happen…it is a very good idea to consider moving on from the relationship.

Yes, it hurts a lot and it’s naturally going to be tough. However, that’s a part of life and the lows we endure are what makes the highs we experience when we are with the right person worth it. Just because someone is a good fit for you doesn’t make them the right fit for you.

Can You Get Them Back After Begging?

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The answer is a yes, but. Yes, it is possible to get him back BUT whether or not it is probable depends on a number of variables that are specific to your own situation.

I can’t answer the likelihood of reconciliation exactly but I can try to point in the right direction as to what must occur for things to get better.

First of all, it could be a long and arduous process, which is why moving on is probably the best option for most folks. You may find that after a period of time apart from one another, you don’t even want him back.

I mean, if this isn’t your first relationship ever, can you think back to how you used to feel about another ex-boyfriend and compare that to how you feel now?

There have been several girls that I was absolutely wild about once upon a time who I never even cross my mind at this point.

Time healed my emotional attachment, I grew as a person, and my needs and desires in a partner changed drastically. 22 year old me has no bearing on how I feel in my current life, nor does any girl I dated back then.

We’ve already discussed perceived value and starting from a lowered perceived value is a tough climb to make. You’ve become more akin to the undesirable nerd in his eyes than the insanely attractive seductress…sorry, it’s not to be mean, this happens to all of us from time to time.

How much damage has been done depends on your own individual circumstances.

For some reading this, things might not be that bad and could feasibly be patched up. For others, it’s almost certainly the end of the relationship…again, this is something we all have to experience and learn to move through in our lives.

Also, it depends on factors such as whether or not you cheated or betrayed his trust. Factors like this are a huge drop in one’s value and reputation for a guy. For me, it’s an automatic deal breaker.

The guy’s life and circumstances also play into the possibility of getting back together. If he is the type to have no problem getting other women, then moving on from this relationship will be much easier.

A guy without options, might have a tendency to want to get back with a girl he’s already had a relationship with…which actually can lower his perceived value.

Raise Your Value and Change Your Behavior

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

Obviously, if damage has been done to how attractive one is in another’s eyes, then to have a shot of getting back with them, that trend must be reversed. In order to do that, you must consider the factors of what makes a woman attractive to a man, and enhance them on all fronts. Again, this is something that can take a great deal of time and STILL FAIL when improved upon.

Now, we should consider:

  • behavior
  • physical
  • social

Dealing with a guy who already knows you, he already knows the good and bad, and expects certain patterns from you based on experience. This makes it even harder to change the perception of value.

The behavior patterns that must change are the one’s I listed before…the begging, obsessiveness, neediness, jealousy, etc. All of these behaviors make people look really bad and aren’t seductive or attractive in the least.

This is yet another reason I suggest preparing to move on because when you emotionally move forward all these behaviors tend to fall away by themselves which naturally makes you more attractive.

Besides the desperate and irritating variety of behavior there are also the better types of behaviors like trying to genuinely be happy and supportive of an ex-boyfriend, even if there is no shot of getting together again. This isn’t sour grapes. This is actually loving someone and not merely being possessive of them and then calling it ‘love’.

Behavior also includes making changes in your life for the better such as: going back to school, new job, traveling, breaking out of a stale routine, etc.

Don’t do it just to do it but it can be a great idea after a relationship to begin to explore new things and take on new challenges.

It can also be very attractive, as there is no desperation present. The focus is on you and creating a wonderful life and not on him and trying to hold on to the past.

Physically, alterations can take place like getting yourself into fantastic shape or switching up to a better personal style. Physical changes are most noticeable at first and can be quite a shock…if they’re for the better! Not just some weird look the reeks of being desperate for attention.

Finally, there is the social aspect. Being desired by others will get people’s attention who otherwise might no longer have any interest.

Think about it, if your ex was surrounded by a bunch of other women, wouldn’t that make you want him more on some level?

Of course. It’s natural supply and demand. The same reason you can slap a designer logo on a plain t-shirt and charge $50+, the perception of value is much higher, even if there is nothing inherently different about it.

I tend to try to date other women after a break up because it naturally reminds me that their are other options out there for me and it helps me move forward. That’s what I suggest doing it for.

It can also, however, make you seem more attractive to an ex because if other people want to date you or even just be your friends, it can make someone second guess and think that they might have missed something special about you.

Remember that men like to chase, if he has no reason to pursue you, he isn’t going to. Ultimately, the dynamic must be flipped so that you are the one who is desired and not the one who is begging and pleading. This is why it’s such a tough nut to crack.

No Contact After Begging to Get Him Back?

Obviously, the one aspect that definitely needs to be changed in this scenario, is the begging.

The best way to accomplish this, is by going no contact for a period of time, usually a month or two will suffice.

If you’re not talking to him, you’re no longer pushing him away or turning him off, with the pleading to reconcile. Instead, you are taking the time to work on yourself, and get better as a person regardless of whether the relationship is saved or not.

The No Contact Rule is used to calm the emotional turmoil, give one another space, and clarity about what the future should be like. Not desperately trying to rekindle the past, but to create something that will be better in the future.

Also, time can help to erase some of the desperation that lingers over you, in his mind. I remember a long time ago, begging one of my ex-girlfriends, and her having no interest. Then, I went hard no contact (I actually decided to move on with my life), and a few months later she reached out to me.

It was as if she had no memory, of my former desperation to get her back. Time had robbed it of all importance. The images that people have in their minds about you, aren’t always fixed, and the negative can be forgotten when compared to the good.

Remember that, the no contact period is as much about you, as it is about not bothering him. In conjunction with not texting or calling or trying to see him, you are, improving yourself and attempting to make things good enough for him to want to come back.

Once this time period is over with and you feel as though, you have made progress on your goals, then contact can be re-established. From there, it might be a slower build to feel out, whether or not he’d be open to seeing you. If so, then perhaps a date can occur, or at least some sort of meeting to clear the air.

What’s the first move?

After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.

Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a man gets a call out of the blue, he may not be in the mood right then to talk.

With texts, he can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.

This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.

He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Is My Ex-Girlfriend Happy Without Me?

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At some point in time after a break up takes place, you may run into an ex or see pictures of her on social media, and she looks super into how her life currently is. You know, the one that no longer really involves you. The thought will then cross a man’s mind, “Is my ex-girlfriend really happy without me?”

It can be quite a blow to our ego/self-esteem, to realize that, there indeed may be a bright future for someone that we cared about; and no longer has anything to do with us.

In this post, I want to explore this phenomenon a bit, and how to deal with the realization that an ex-girlfriend may be happier afterward…and why it ultimately shouldn’t matter.

What is happiness?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, before I directly delve into whether or not an ex-girlfriend is actually happier without you and/or with her new rebound boyfriend. I want to try to gain an understanding of happiness.

Despite its common usage, ‘happiness’, is actually kind of a nebulous term. It can really be difficult to pin down what it means and if someone is in that state.

What is happiness? Is it that warm positive emotion or is it some kind of internal sense of satisfaction? Is it something that is continuous or is it a fleeting moment of everything seeming to be ‘right’ in one’s life?

One thing that us human beings are really good at is making ourselves the center of attention in our own minds.

We say or think things like, “Why is everyone else happy BUT me!” The real question should be, “Are any of those people you’re thinking about really happy?” And if so, what does happiness mean to them?

It gets lonely sometimes

There are plenty of folks who outwardly seem happy and have plenty of photos on Facebook and Instagram to prove it to you. Like a duck on water, everything is seemingly calm on the surface, while their legs are churning like crazy below just to keep afloat.

There are a ton of people just like that, outwardly it seems like everything is all good, but inwardly…they’re falling apart.

The question of whether or not an ex is ‘happier’ without you, really comes down to the definition of what one means by happiness. Is it the feeling? Is it some contentment? Or does she feel better off without you in her life?

Now, her ‘happiness’ may also be a massive front, that she is putting on. Maybe she wants to make you think that she is happy, just to make you feel bad about it.

Hell, a lot of people actually buy into their own lies. Meaning, they front so hard acting like they’re in a great place, but any sort of challenge to that facade…and the house of cards collapses.

Another scenario, may be that she is actually just content being alone right now. If she has a man, maybe he really does make her feel wonderful.

That’s not a knock against you, he’s just a better fit for her, at this time. Just as if you met some amazing girl, who overshadowed your ex. It really doesn’t diminish your time together, as that is already in the past, and done with.

My Ex-Girlfriend Seems Happier Is She?

Perhaps. That doesn’t make it a bad thing for you, though. The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of relationships will fail eventually.

It’s just a part of the game. Things can grow stale, people grow apart, or that particular relationship no longer provides the same benefits that it once did.

For instance, there are girls that I dated around the age of 21, who I liked a whole lot at that point in time. Our time together was great.

However, fast forward to the age of 30, and if we tried to date one another; it would be an utter disaster. We aren’t in the same place in our lives anymore, for it to be a good fit.

You can be perfectly content to be involved with someone else, and then a few months later, the situation no longer fits you.

In this sense, a person may indeed be happier without their ex in their lives, but it’s really just being in a different mindset and/or wanting to go in a new direction.

I mean, think about how many women you have liked/been attracted to, in your life. Was it always this one girl? What happened to the other one’s that you had a crush on or a full blown relationship with? When did they suddenly feel less special in your own mind?

Times change and people change and this may exactly be what happened with your ex. Now is she happier without you? She might not even know the answer to that question.

Besides, is it the fact that she feels happy, that is bothering you? Before the break up, you’d been happy that she is happy. So, is it the fact that you’re not the source of those feelings anymore? Or is it the image of seeing her, get along fine without you?

You can get along fine without her, too. You both win, in this scenario.

What does it matter?

Let’s just for sake of argument assume that your ex-girlfriend is indeed happier without you and possibly with someone else. What of it?

Again, the two of you may no longer (or never were) a great fit, even if you still think that you are. Hell, it might still theoretically be a good relationship, if it worked out.

However, a successful relationship cannot be had while one person isn’t completely into it (her), even if the other person is (possibly you).

Secondly, if she is happy shouldn’t you be glad that she’s doing well (if you care for her still)? At the very least, if you don’t care about her or she screwed you over, isn’t it best to be indifferent towards what she does now?

The danger in the post-breakup period is to get into this comparison competition of who is doing ‘better’ after the split. What nonsense. You do not need to compete with her, any new guy she’s dating, or anything of the sort.

The focus should be on you and what you want with your life, while letting go of the relationship that played such a large role. Yes, it can take time, but getting over a breakup cannot happen when you are in constant comparison and competition.

Unless a reconciliation is in the cards, the relationship is done, and the natural growing apart is going to take place.

Getting stuck in the past on how things used to be, is just going to lead to very unhappy results for you, regardless of whether or not she is actually happy. It’s ultimately irrelevant.

None of this is to say of course, that you shouldn’t take any lessons from the relationship ending.

If she is happier without you, was there any thing that you can actually change about yourself to improve in the future? Or were the issues not things you can change  about yourself (which just means that two people aren’t fully compatible).

In the end, it is never truly about her and her happiness or lack thereof…it is all about you and how you react to the situation.

It’s basically ego, “Why is she happy without me? Am I not good enough?” “What’s so great about her new boyfriend? I’m better than him.”

The only way to get past this sort of self-centered thinking is to let go of it all and realize that her life is not about you.

Let go of worrying about what she’s doing, and focus on, what’s best for your life. These kinds of thoughts will weigh you down, in the long run.

Secondly, outside of the lessons that you can learn for future reference from them, these thoughts aren’t helpful.

Her happiness should not effect how you feel. If she feels bad, you shouldn’t feel happy, and vice versa. Things are as they are currently. Accept this and begin the process of moving forward. What are your goals outside of women? What do you want to do? Her happiness doesn’t need to create misery, so, don’t let it anymore.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Get an Ex-Boyfriend Back If He Hates You?

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There are some break up situations in which things are cordial and even somewhat friendly between former lovers. There is no hostility and indeed some sort of reverence toward one another that could be very useful if the exes want to get back together. On the other hand, there are other broken relationships in which they really are ‘broken’, in that, one party has an intensely negative attitude towards their former partner. It can manifest into actual hatred or something closely resembling it.

This type of animosity may be short lived anger towards an action on your part or a deep and intense hatred of you as a person. What can one do to save a relationship if their ex-boyfriend seems to hate them?

Time Apart

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Situations which are intensely emotional tend to cool off in the long-term. The issue is getting to that long-term mellowing out without completely pushing that person away.

We all have things in our past that at one time really upset us and now when we look back it isn’t a big deal at all. This can be especially true in a breakup scenario because of the addictive quality of love.

I can remember being sad or angry at an ex-girlfriend to the point that it was all thought about for weeks. Fast forward to the present time and I don’t even think about these girls anymore.

It’s a strange thing but time does work wonders if you let it. The key is to not let it drag on too long, to the point which your ex moves on completely. However, bothering them during a period in which they need to work out these intense feelings can also backfire on your aims to get them back.

So, your ex-boyfriend is utterly pissed at you and now you have searched to find out how to deal with this new found hate. On the scale of likelihood of getting one’s ex back, having one hate you is on the lower end of probability. That is, if he actually hates you.

Before you can even attempt to get out of such a bind, you must give him space and time. Meanwhile, you assess your chances of actually turning these feelings positive, or if you even want to.

One’s natural tendency is to keep trying to reach out to, reason with, beg, say you’re sorry to your ex-boyfriend. Thinking that, if you just keep it up, he’ll realize his anger is wrong and come back.

While it is an intuitive thing to do, it isn’t the correct thing to do in most circumstances and can actually push someone away further.

Taking a period of no contact can be beneficial for the both of you, as it allows you to have time to really sort things out and to let emotions settle down a bit. Constantly contacting your ex makes you seem unattractive, desperate, and kind of annoying to your ex…not qualities someone wants in a partner.

No Contact can be a very hard time to get through and trying to resist the urge to talk to them when your are feeling lonely can be brutal. I would usually give it at least a month where we can each be alone and figure out what we want to do with our lives.

During this no contact period, it is important that you work on yourself and any issues you may have caused in the relationship. Think deeply and analyze if you truly want to get him back or if emotions are currently pushing you that way. In time, you may find that the best course to take is to simply move on and start dating other men.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Yes, I know, it seems like in the heat of the moment that there is no other options beside reconciliation. Though, that’s not really the case.

The more positivity you bring into your mind, and the more time apart, your outlook can change dramatically. Suddenly, you may come to realize that you want something completely different for yourself.

In fact, you might actually not any relationship, at the moment and decide to take your life in another direction.

It is important that we work on ourselves, after breakups, as it not only really helps the healing process; but also, it can give us greater clarity that perhaps we haven’t been living the life we really wanted to. Maybe, our relationship that ended badly, needed to end when it did.

Conversely, you may come to realize that you do indeed want to try and get the ex-boyfriend back. However, one still needs to accept the fact, that it might be gone for good. Always prepare for multiple outcomes, whether you end up back together, or single, or with another man eventually.

What Did You Do To Make Him Hate You?

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Your ex may actually hate you or it may just be a passing phase. In any case, what were the causes to set him against you in such a way. Did you cheat on him? This complicates things further and makes getting him back a very low value proposition.

In that type of situation, not only can it be difficult to get him to talk to you, and get him interested in reconciling the relationship. But also, having to go back and create a new relationship, based on trust and forgiveness.

It’s a longer term rehabilitation project, that has to discard older aspects of the failed relationship, and create newer stronger ties.

If you have angered him this much, think about what the issue is and why you did it. Was it a one time thing? Was this a constant or repeated behavior of yours? What have you done to change for the better? Can you even change this for him?

If cheating was the case, are you prepared to not see any other men for good? Is that honestly what you want, exclusivity with your ex?

It’s fine, if you actually just want to go out and see a bunch of different men, just be honest with yourself about it. Don’t try to drag your ex back into that situation, just because you currently have intense feelings, about the breakup.

If you cannot control those lustful impulses around other guys now, will you be able to in the future? If being monogamous, is what you want, you will need to be able to deal with these feelings when they arise. Otherwise, you’ll repeat the same mistakes again.

There are obviously things that you need to work on for him to consider taking you back in the future. What are these issues you need to correct? Figure out what they are and then come up with a plan to change them.

Literally, think about what all of your potential issues are. What did he really dislike about your role in the relationship? Be extremely honest, but don’t beat yourself up. What are your faults (we all have them) and what can you do to begin to move in a new direction?

Does He Actually Hate You, Can He Love You Again?

Sometimes, with enough time apart from each other, he may have calmed down and be willing to have an open dialogue with you.

Other times, he may not ever want to come back no matter what, this is a possibility you need to accept and be willing to move forward from. You cannot force someone into wanting to be with you and there are times when it is best to simply cut your losses.

After taking a period of no contact to evaluate things, you may still be unsure if your ex-boyfriend is open to taking you back or not.

You also, may have decided that you actually do want to try to work things out as well. Here are some indicators of interest that your ex may be open to at least discussing reconciliation.

The opening of a potential reconciliation can usually be done through text message. It is a way to send out feelers to see how he may think of you at this time.

Getting any reply is better than getting none at all but understand they may be short one word responses that don’t lead where you want them to. It is a steady progression of getting them to open up.

What’s the first move?

So, once we go through a period of no contact, we may want to re-open the lines of communication. That is, if we actually still want to reconcile this broken relationship.

Like I said, plenty of times, people recognize that they were simple being too emotional. They didn’t actually want the relationship back, rather, they wanted to pain of the break up to subside.

Anyway, if we do want to try to mend things, we need to establish contact and feel things out. The best way to do this is through the use of text messages.

Texts are great, as they don’t need to be in the mood to respond, right when they get the message. They can come back later on, when their curiosity is piqued, and see what it is you want from them exactly.

It’s a much higher rate of response, than say, calling them out of the blue or trying to ‘accidentally’ run into them.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Can I Get My Ex-Boyfriend to Come Back to Me?

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There is the ingrained belief in a lot of humans that if we simply try hard enough for something that we can make it happen. While this kind of attitude can be a good thing, it can sometimes come back to bite us. It is this mindset that we can become stuck in that won’t let us accept certain changes in our lives and know when to call it quits. In post-relationship terms, it can be quite a common idea that if we simply pursue our ex with the right type of vigor and strategy, we can surely get them back

Will He Come Back to Me?

Reality can be quite different from our hopes for it. The fact is, that many relationships cannot be repaired, nor should they even be…there’s a good reason(s) why the breakup occurred.

Other times, a reconciliation is possible and happens but only for a short period of time before it goes into the gutter once again. Usually, because nothing fundamentally changed. When the initial excitement of being together wore off, the couple will quickly be at odds once again.

And of course, there are those success stories of lovers who separated (maybe multiple times), before addressing what ailed the relationship and got back together for good.

That’s just the way life is. People change and so do their wants, desires, and circumstances. Allow yourself to feel upset or saddened by the breakup with your ex-boyfriend but not overcome by it.

Whether or not you actually do decide to pursue your ex, or indeed, get him into a relationship once again; it is a very good idea to prepare for either outcome. Either being together or still separated.

Also, realize that he probably isn’t in the same head space or life circumstance, as he was when you first met. Sometimes, the best course to take is to simply let go and move on.

OK, so what if I still want my ex-boyfriend back? Well, yes of course. It is perfectly natural to feel that way after a breakup. It can be caused by loneliness or the belief that he is indeed your true love (whether or not this is actually true and might even seem that way in this moment).

The ultimate question is whether or not you can you actually get your ex-boyfriend to come back to you? What would it actually entail?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Were the Causes of the Break Up?

To answer the question of if he might come back to you or not, you must clearly understand your situation, and what caused the separation from one another.

Did you cheat on him? Were you fighting a lot? Did you or he want different things for the relationship? Was it doomed from the start or was it mainly one thing that ruined it?

There are so many possibilities and details, relevant to your own circumstance, and it is highly important to figure out what those questions are. Plus, what the true answers are, without any self-delusional BS.

There are always specific reasons for a breakup. Even if you didn’t see it coming, there had to be some underlying cause. Sometimes, it is simply lack of chemistry or not being the right fit, for one another…it happens and you can’t beat yourself up about it.

If you can dig to the depths and find out the truth to your situation, then it can be easier to weigh the odds or if you even really want to get back together with him.

Some relationships only had a few flaws and can be remedied. Find out what your personal mistakes or flaws were, that of the relationship, and the changes you would like to see your partner make.

Heck, for some of you reading this, you were the one who broke off the relationship. You dumped him. Why? What was he doing that was getting so unbearable for you? Do you think he will change these behaviors? If not, can you actually put up with it? Do you even want to?

Have the Changes of Life Created Too Much Separation?

Sometimes, there are complete changes in life that a person undergoes. When this happens, it no longer makes sense for them to stay in the same relationships, or live the same lifestyles that they were accustom to.

People grow apart and may want different things for their potential futures. Your ex-boyfriend may not be in a position to commit to a long-term relationship or vice-versa.

When these circumstances arise, a relationship may have simply run its course and the two people are no longer in the same place mentally/emotionally as one another.

Some relationships don’t start out as anything more than a fling and when enough time goes by they falter because these relationships weren’t built on anything substantial. However, because so much time was spent together, it still has a powerful emotional resonance.

Briefly, if you and your ex aren’t at a similar place currently or where you each want to be in the future, then the relationship will not work. Attraction might have already left and that spark is gone and that will prevent a reconciliation from taking place.

Taking Consideration and Making the First Move

The first step that needs to be done in this process, is to gain the clarity about what you want. Using the ideas above, go for a period of No Contact, with your ex-boyfriend for 30-45 days and figure out what you want. (If you’re already not in contact, then, take as much time as you need to figure things out before trying to reconcile).

During this time, not only figure out what you want for a potential reconciliation (or moving on without him), but also work on your own emotional, life, and health goals/needs.

This time apart should be about self-improvement. Getting yourself in a better place, to be a better version of you, and be a better girlfriend for him (if that’s what you end up still wanting).

There does have to be some changes that are made, otherwise, anything that comes out of the reconciliation is just going to fail later on.

Begin the process, get your mind clear, life in order, and then go for contacting him.

What’s the first move?

So, for us to re-establish contact, we need a plan and knowledge of what to do. The easiest and probably most effective way nowadays, to reach out to an ex is through text messaging.

Why? Well, it takes the pressure off of the other person in the moment. It gives them the opportunity to respond later, rather than, having to do so right away.

Also, it allows a person to craft the right message to reach out, and not have to think of some random plead, on the fly.

It’s simply not as invasive, as trying to get someone on the phone, or immediately trying to see them in person.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Toward the top of the page, there was a link to download two free PDF reports, about what not to do when trying to text and ex-boyfriend. These were written by Michael Fiore, as sort of an introduction to his Text Your Ex Back program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back if She Broke Up with You

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There are a ton of variations of how and why relationships end. One of the most common ones, is a man’s girlfriend dumps him and doesn’t give a reason or maybe just not a very believable one. Having your woman leave you is a tough L to take, it’s just one of those losses that stings for a while no matter what you try to do to remedy the hurt.

However, even in the midst of that emotional pain, there is still that raw and gnawing feeling that you want her back in your life. The question is, can you get an ex-girlfriend back, if she is the one who initiated the end of the relationship?

Yes. Yes, you can. The thing is, there are also important questions such as, if that is even a good idea or if it is likely to succeed. In this post, I want to dig a little bit further into this topic and try to illuminate somethings one should consider when trying to reconnect with an ex after getting dumped.

Things can get complicated emotionally, so, it is important to take time to really consider how everything has played out and what you want your future to look like.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Achieving Total Clarity

So, the first and probably most important step in trying to get back an ex-girlfriend is to decide that you actually want to. No, I’m not talking about some hokey, “Law of Attraction” type of stuff.

What I mean, is to get out from under the cloud of emotion and bruised ego, and truly know that trying to restart things with her is the best decision for your life.

Let’s be honest, most of the hurt that comes along with many breakups is manufactured by the repetitive conditioning of your interactions with one another.

You’ve grown accustomed to this girl being there and when she isn’t, you are no longer receiving the positive emotional feedback, and as such it feels like something is missing.

This type of feeling will arise, whether you truly love the girl or just really liked her a lot, which is confusing because it can feel exactly the same in the short-term.

However, in the long-term clarity will arise. The feedback cycle is broken, and you can realize, that perhaps you didn’t feel as strongly towards her as you might have thought.

I think that all guys go through this type of thing. We trip out over girls and then later come to realize what an awful mistake staying with them would have been.

There are plenty of girls who I dated in my college-age years, who I was absolutely devastated by when they broke up with me BUT when I fast-forwarded a few months, I knew that I had dodged a bullet with some of them (being with for longer, getting married, accidentally knocking them up).

If you’re a younger guy, please understand that this is going to have more of an effect on you, precisely because you have less experience. Relationships are still rather new in your life and there is a huge difference between high school/college and the more serious stuff that comes with age.

It’s like the difference between amateur and professional sports, there’s just a different level of seriousness and competition.

Clarity is an extremely hard thing to achieve when that other person is still involved in your life on some level. I usually want to go no contact for 30-60 days, so that I can take a step back a analyze the situation without being constantly triggered emotionally.

Don’t worry the ex-girlfriend isn’t going to forget about you in that short of time, unless you were a totally forgettable man.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Are Some Things to Consider?

What ended the relationship? Think beyond just what she told you and dig to the roots of the problems. Did you cheat? If so, that adds a whole lot more complexity to this situation.

Also, if you did cheat, why did you do it? Were you bored, no longer attracted, want other chicks besides her (like not just fantasy but actively flirting and trying to pick them up)?

Yes, these all have an impact as to whether you should even want to try to get back together again. You might be chasing something that you feel emotionally guilty about, however, at your very core you may know that the relationship was on the way out anyways.

Did she cheat? My policy on this is to move on. Fuck dealing with unfaithful people, if she wants to screw around that is her prerogative. But it is also mine to say that, it violates the confines of our relationship, and she needs to move on.

How much time has elapsed? If it has been close to a year or more and nothing has changed, you either need a new approach or to get on with your love life. If she’s already been seeing other guys for a while and has moved into a more serious relationship with one of them, that’s another solid sign that it may be time to accept that it’s over.

What type of relationship was it? How serious did it get? A girl who is in high school or college, is most likely not ready to settle down for a very long term relationship (marriage), and will likely want to experience many new relationships or types of guys after she gets out of something semi-serious (long-term boyfriend).

However, if things did get very serious and she is either older or more mature, then there is a better chance that you could still be the right man for the job.

The breakup could have been caused by simple bad habits or a lack of direction/maturity on your part and she might be in the stage of life where she demands a man that meets all of her needs/qualifications.

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What Are Some of Your Flaws and How Do You Improve Them?

I am a huge believer in self-improvement. Not just in terms of getting attention from women but also in every other aspect of my life. In my own personal experience, I can tell you that perception of reality is not always the same as reality itself, and it is also more powerful.

What I mean is, how you are perceived will have a greater impact than who you actually are in many given situations. For instance, the same guy walks into a bar, in one instance he is alone and in another he is with a group of women.

In which instance is he more attractive to any given female in the bar? When he is with the group of women, even though he is fundamentally the same person. The only change is in the perception of him and his value as a man.

Let’s be real, your girlfriend isn’t going to leave you if she still perceives you as a high value man.

Yes, you may be everything she wants EXCEPT you have anger issues that pushes her away (in that case , you lack of emotional control has collapsed your value as a man).

Or maybe you haven’t shown signs that you are serious about long-term commitment. Or you aren’t very much fun to be around more. You’re too controlling. Etc, etc.

If you and the relationship that you had with your ex had too many flaws, then of course she is going to start looking around at other guys and thinking that she can do better.

It isn’t always the case that she will want you back even if you do make yourself a better man because sometimes it’s just simply a lack of compatibility on a deep level. However, if there was true long-term compatibility, there may be certain things that drove her away…fixable things!

For instance, maybe you weren’t spending enough time together. Perhaps, you were too engaged in work, hanging out with your boys, playing video games, watching sports, or whatever…if this was a main cause of the break up, then this should be a main area of trying to improve yourself.

Step away from your diversions, minimize them, try to work on patterns of addictive behaviors. Make a list of areas of your life you need to improve in…from health, to wealth, to sexual skill, to confidence, communication, or any other potential factor.

Seriously, if you work on yourself and then don’t get this girl back, at least you’ve improved your odds at landing more ladies and finding one that is also a right fit for you. Keep in mind that there are ultimately billions of them on this planet, so if you can make yourself available and more desirable you can, land plenty more.

Conversely, she could have also been the source of many of the relationship’s problems. There are cases in which one person creates lots of issues and then initiates a break up anyway.

If this is the case for your, break up, ask yourself if it is actually worth it? Is getting back together with this woman, something that is good for the long haul, or simply a way to patch up the short-term emotional turmoil?

get better or this guy might take your girl

get better or this guy might take your girl

Taking the Time to Change

In order to show significant change and actually make changes to one’s life, there does need to be some time apart. A lot of guys will still currently be in ‘chase mode’, when trying to get back with his ex.

What this means is, he is still calling or texting or desperately begging to get back together…and it’s simply not working.

You cannot press a woman to want to get back together with you. She will begin to resent it and find a guy unattractive, when he displays such groveling characteristics.

Also, constantly being in contact or trying to fix things, doesn’t allow her the ability to think about what she actually wants. There are plenty of cases in which, the girl breaks up with her guy, and realizes that the single life can suck.

She realizes that she’s not meeting any ‘better men’ and her ex starts to look really great in comparison. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when things don’t work out, she might turn her attention back to you.

However, how can that happen, when he ex is constantly bothering her and displaying unattractive characteristics? Even if she finds out that being single isn’t great, it would still be more appealing than an ex, calling her constantly.

As such, utilizing the No Contact Rule, is a way to create enough space and work to better yourself for a potential reconciliation.

Taking a month or two apart, isn’t a bad thing. It allows both parties to fully consider what they want to do, experience life without the other person, and to improve themselves.

Getting clarity doesn’t just happen when you see the negatives of the relationship, it can also show you all of the positives, and why it should be fixed. When emotions calm down and reality sets in, people will tend to recognize that they actually had something great, and worth the work that it takes to make a relationship successful.

What’s the first move?

So, once a period of time apart has been taken, contact will need to be re-established if you still want to try and get back an ex.

However, by that time, you might have gained the clarity that you’d be better off moving on. That’s cool and can be the best decision for folks, in many cases. Not all relationships are worth trying to save, as they simply aren’t functional, at their core.

However, when one determines that it is worth at least attempting to salvage, there needs to be a strategy in place for making the effort. After a month or two of not talking and still being apart, getting back into contact, is of paramount concern.

One of the easiest and also most effective methods for doing so, is by use of text messaging. I mean, it is not only easy to do, but you can also take all of the time you need to craft a message and future response.

Plus, it takes the pressure off of the other person, who can respond whenever or if they feel like it. A call or face to face meeting can be brushed off, as too intrusive, but a text is both casual and weirdly intimate because folks have their phones nearly all of the time. It’s like a part of themselves.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Will My Ex-Girlfriend Forget About Me?

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One of the major worries that guys have when following the No Contact Rule or being apart from the ex-girlfriends for so long, is that, she will now forget that he exists.  Sure, I can understand feeling this way (and have myself), when you are emotionally vulnerable after a breakup. Thoughts such as, If I don’t text her now, she’ll never know how I feel and that’ll be the end of us.

However, this may or may not be the case. Your ex might still be thinking about you a lot or she might actively be trying to move on with her life. Understand that, either situation is out of your direct control, and all you can do is follow the best course of action.

Even some of the best attempts at winning an ex back, will fail because that other person, really does want to get on with their lives. In this post, I want to break down this fear and how I would approach this situation.

Your Relationship IS Over, as it is No Longer So

A breakup is the end of a relationship. Meaning, that paradigm or context that it once existed in, is no longer there.

In my view, when you actually do get back together with someone, it is a new relationship because things aren’t going to back to exactly the same way they once were.

Feelings change, people explore life without their partners, people develop new ideas about what they want from their relationships, etc. People are not always static in their desires, the same girl you met when she was 20, is now different and has different needs now that she is 25.

Once you can accept this idea, it becomes clear that she might not always come back, and you should prepare to get through this change yourself and branch out to other options in your own life.

No matter what the circumstances are, it is a good idea to prepare yourself to move forward, even if you do end up getting back together with her. It’s a great way not to get caught in static life situation and be able to move forward with less trouble.

The reason you go No Contact, is to allow one another to have space to operate on your own and without emotional interference.

Strong feelings of loneliness or a desire to get back together with her, are extremely common after a break up. However, those feelings are not always ‘real’, in that, you don’t truly want to be with her, it’s just that the emotions are so intense at the moment.

It is part of the healing process that occurs when you lose someone close to you and depending on your level of experience or the seriousness of the relationship it can take plenty of time to get past.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What About the Post No Contact Period? Will She Forget Me, Then, If We Don’t Talk?

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Again, the answer is maybe. It depends on your unique situation and the feelings of the girl who you were with. Most of the time, the answer is no, as it takes time to really get over someone. Plus, not talking can have the opposite effect, as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If, you are trying to reestablish contact after a time apart and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere with her, then it may be time for you to strongly consider moving on completely. Over the longer haul, many months or a year later for instance, women will often come back around. It happened for me this way, multiple times.

The question is often, at that point, do you even want them back.

If it’s been a long period of time, it is probably going to be a long rebuilding process anyways to gain her trust back and make her desire you once more. In that case, if you are getting responses, you might still have a chance for reconciliation but it could be a very slim one.

From my personal experience, some girls will never reply to your texts when trying to fix things with them. In those cases, I had to suck it up and move on. This has been rare, though. However, it can happen.

There were other girls who I ignored completely after the break up and they tried to make overtures for us to start dating again.

There are so many variables in relationships, that all you can do is to decide if you really do still want a relationship with that person and then if so, make a genuine effort to make it happen. Sometimes, it does work and other times, it just won’t.

If your ex is responding to your texts, then, you probably have a small chance at least for things to work out. If she isn’t, then at some point, it’s time to cut your losses.

Also, some girls will act spiteful when replying to your messages or simply give one word answers…in those cases, there’s a smaller shot of it working out, but still a chance that it can.

It will take some time and trying to have conversations with your ex to gauge whether or not she is still interested. Yes, some girls will forget about you in time. Others, never will, and it is these girls who can sometimes be won back over. It’s a whole new chapter in one’s life, after a break up. Don’t rush things or make fast decisions after these major emotional events, give it time and let things heal. Only then, can you gather information and try to get her to come back or move on.

What Might Increase the Odds of Being Forgotten?

In short, unattractive behavior. Pretty much what most guys do, when trying to lure back an ex-girlfriend.

One of the main things, is when guys become beggars, and do that annoying thing where they text the girl constantly. It’s hard to miss someone, when they’re always bothering you. But, it is quite easy to want to forget about them completely, and just move on.

Within the context of constantly trying to text, call, or communicate with an ex; some men will, be all over the map with their emotions and what they say.

One minute, they love and miss her. The next, they think she’s the worst person ever, and tell her so.

If she’s dating, the ex-boyfriend acts like a stalker or complete ass, towards the girl or whoever she’s seeing. Don’t be a jealous guy, don’t be a desperate guy, and give her some damn space.

Those are some really easy and key points, about not wanting to be forgotten. Don’t poison the well, and then, try to go back and re-start a relationship. Have patience. Work on yourself and your life. Get those powerful emotions in check. Try to re-establish contact, later, if you are interested in reconciliation.

INTRODUCING ATTRACT YOUR DEVELOPMENT’S FIRST EBOOK

GAME WITHOUT GAMES: TRANSCENDING PICKUP ARTISTRY AND PURSUING ATTRACTION THROUGH CONSCIOUS PERSONAL GROWTH 

$2.99 on Amazon.com  (For Kindle) download the Kindle App for Free

 GAMEWITHOUTGAMES

Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

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How to Attract Your Ex-Girlfriend Again

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Okay, so this post is a bit different in some ways from the usual of trying to restart a broken relationship with your ex-girlfriend. In some cases, the relationship may have ended due to fighting, cheating, or something else and the girl is still attracted to and in love with the guy. Those situations aren’t necessarily easy to fix but they do have different circumstances to deal with. On the flip side of the coin, there are relationships that end because the ex-girlfriend is no longer attracted to the guy she was dating, and these types of situations can be tricky to deal with and even a longer term process to win her back. So, lets explore attraction and reigniting that flame.

Take a Step Back and Analyze the Field

I have found myself in this situation on several occasions, post-breakup, where I had an intense desire to get my ex-girlfriend back and indeed make her wildly attracted to me again.

You must understand that this desire is more about you than it is about her. Meaning, in the emotional turmoil after a breakup, we will tend to want our exes back under any circumstance because we think it’ll make the pain and loneliness go away.

It isn’t that she is the most incredible person on the planet (sorry, it’s quite doubtful she is), it is just that emotions are running so hot, that we get hung up on this one person in an unhealthy way.

Listen, following The No Contact Rule, is often about just giving yourself some time to cool off. To have your rational side make a comeback appearance after the time spent wallowing, crying, pleading, begging, and every other emotionally induced behavior on the books.

Take a step back and analyze whether you truly want her back or if it is simply that your ego has been bruised and getting her back will help quell the storm that has been raging inside of your mind.

Oftentimes, when you take the time to gain clarity you will see that even if she was a good fit for you, she wasn’t the right fit for you and that the thought of moving on is just scary to you. The future has yet to be determined, and we tend to cling to the past, when we haven’t figured out the next step we want to take is.

Getting one’s ex-girlfriend back isn’t always an easy process either. You have to determine if it is something that you really want to undertake or are you just chasing a shadow.

Would she even be open to a reunion? Has she moved on? Does she hate you? If your ex-girlfriend isn’t even attracted to you anymore, then it is a safe assumption that it’s going to be a tough road to haul.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What is her current dating situation? If she is seeing other guys or especially, if she is with one man exclusively, these are pretty high barriers. Not impossible to overcome, but things that need to be considered, when trying to re-spark a broken relationship.

I write this section not to discourage you or get you down about the odds, but just so you’re aware that there are many difficulties. You might be surprised, as to how many folks get delusional, about how simply they can get another person to come back. Yes, it can be done, but it takes work, and is not guaranteed.

Let’s Get Real About the Situation

So, there is the somewhat unspoken fact that people actually do indeed date people they aren’t that physically attracted to.

This is especially true for women who can be greatly attracted by personality, status, intelligence, wealth, etc., while this stuff has less of an effect on men. We tend to want to date the hottest girl available to us in the short-term and her other qualities can hook us in for the longer term.

Why do I bring this up? If a girl who wasn’t all that attracted to you physically in the first place, falls out of love with you for whatever reason, you can be up shit’s creek trying to win her back.

She actually may not find you sexy anymore, and as a man, you need to accept that fact and remind yourself that it’s okay. Just because one girl isn’t attracted to you anymore doesn’t mean all girls will feel the same. It might be time for you to forget about it and move on.

Other guys reading this may be in an entirely different circumstance, where the girl is still physically attracted to you, she just hates the rest of you.

In either case, what is required is an overhaul of her perception of you.

Boiled down to its base, what is attraction? A positive perception of another person.

For instance, imagine a guy who goes to a nightclub on two separate nights. On the first night, he goes alone and stands by himself. On the second night, he goes to the club with friends and is surrounded by women chatting and flirting with him. Which one is more attractive to the other women in the bar?

The guy who is socializing of course. He is displaying more attractive traits on the second night, even though, he is the same exact person! The only thing that changed was the women in the club’s perception of him.

Perception is involved in every aspect of attraction. (Side note: I wrote an entire Kindle ebook about shifting perceptions for attraction: Game without Games). 

If you’re a guy who has ever undergone a significant physical transformation, you probably noticed extra female attention when you got yourself into really good physical shape.

Why? Your perceived value was higher. This is what makes it so difficult to get back an ex when they are no longer attracted to you, as you now have to alter how they think of you, convince them to come back, and make the changes necessary to keep the relationship going long-term….that’s a tall order for anyone.

However, depending on the variables involved in one’s own situation, the shift needed to re-attract the ex; may not be all that much. If her feelings toward you are still particularly strong (she still wants you, but there are certain things about you or the relationship causing her to be hesitant), then the shift in perception may involve only one or two things.

For other guys, it’s like trying to rebuild a house that’s burnt to the ground, everything needs to be replaced.

Oh! What to do?!

Women lust for him…

There are too many variables at play to address every guy’s specific circumstances, and what to focus on, to try to re-attract his ex.

The first step that I would focus on, is going no contact in order to let things cool off, on both person’s end. If she contacts you, be cordial and pleasant, but don’t be whiny and emotional about ‘our relationship’.

Let me just say, that begging and pestering a girl with texts is not attractive. Nobody likes a pushover and women want to date a man, not a lapdog.

The emotional pleading is more likely to make her less attracted to you, as she will now be more apt to compare you with other men. Those men will probably act confident, not needy, and highly attractive to her eyes. If you take the opposite tact, good luck buddy…

We all tend to compare the person(s) we’re currently dating with those we have in the past. It’s natural. This is especially true, when the break up was recent. So, if your ex is dating or sleeping with other guys, that comparison will happen.

Don’t give her mind any more reasons, to reinforce negative thoughts about you. Things need to begin to shift to at least neutral and right on up to highly positive.

Then during No Contact, figure out what it is that she isn’t attracted to anymore, and work on altering those perceptions. You might already know for sure, you might have a hunch, or be able to deduce some things.

That’s good, actually put in the effort to learn what you can improve upon, and then do it. We all have areas that we need to grown in, so, don’t take it as some offense to ‘who you are’ Who you are changes constantly, you just don’t notice, which is why 12 year old you is different from 25 year old you.

These changes could range from physical appearance, to being a jerk, to being selfish, to social standing, lack of passion, lack of drive in life or any other of the many possibilities.

You are now on the outside looking in. Since you already have a history with her, you are not starting on the same level as a guy, who she has never met before. They get fertile soil from which to impress upon her who they are, while you’re dealing with scorched earth.

There is something or many things about you currently, that is not meeting her needs as a woman. These needs could be sexual, emotional, social, or even based in trust or lack thereof. Consider her needs and where you are not up to par.

Now, this won’t necessarily get her back but it is a part in the attempt to do so. Figure out where things in your former relationship were failing and that will give you the best shot at a reconciliation.

Obviously, the failed relationship isn’t all your fault. It takes two, to make it work, and she has plenty of faults I’m sure. However, her faults are outside of your control, while you can improve upon yourself. Whether the improvements work for fixing this relationship or not, you get to carry them forward, into future dealings with women…which makes attraction much easier.

What’s the first move?

Once a period of No Contact has been established and worked through, it can then be time to open up a channel of communication with an ex-girlfriend.

To become re-attracted, she is going to need to see both you and the changes, first hand. Now, how we get to that point is easier said than done. After all, contact after a break up is tricky, and it can be tough to get things back on track.

Luckily, technology actually can help, in this regard. Texting is a medium that doesn’t really require the other person to have to do much and can be tailored to send them the right message.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

I linked to a two free reports about what not to text an ex, up near the top of the post. Hopefully, you took the time to grab your copies of them. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back when He has a New Girlfriend

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As a straight male, I’ve never actually had to get my ex-boyfriend back from another girl (full disclosure :p). However, as a man I feel that I can offer a different perspective on the end of your relationship and whether or not you can start anew with him, even if he has a new girlfriend. Now, just to be upfront about things, for many women reading this: your relationship is most likely over for good and you should move on with your life. I know that sucks to hear in the middle of  emotional turmoil but it’s not the end of the world, it’s simply a change that needs to be dealt with. Now, let us get started and delve a little bit further into this topic.

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The First Thing I Ask You to Consider

The first and most paramount step that I recommend that anyone take before pursuing getting back together with their ex is to truly analyze things and figure out if that is truly what you want. You might be thinking, Of course that’s what I want, that’s how I ended up on this website! 

Believe me, I completely understand the raw emotion and hurt that comes along with a breakup or seeing your significant other with someone else. It feels terrible and it isn’t a very pleasant experience, however, it is one which we almost all will have to face in life. As such, it is important to learn how to get through it and learn to grow from this change.

Emotion obviously clouds good judgment. Most people won’t react to everyday problems with nearly the same intensity as that of a break up and this is entirely based on the amount of emotions and attachment that is involved.

This is why a long period of no contact is so important after a relationship ends because it allows both parties to have space apart and avoid the strong emotional triggers. Plus, with time emotional attachments tend to weaken.

With that being said, while you’re in an emotional state of mind, you will of course feel like you want your ex-boyfriend back even if a rational assessment of the situation would reveal that it is best just to forget about him.

After all, the relationship ended for a reason (probably multiple reasons), which means that it fundamentally had some problems. What were those problems? Would getting back together solve them? Can they be solved? The relationship would be different than it had been before, will there be lingering resentments, is the spark gone, would this even work long-term?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

See…these are the types of things that need to be thought through before even considering getting back into a relationship with that person. Take off the rose colored glasses and look at the relationship as it was and not as an idealized version of itself. Look at your flaws as well as his flaws and take your time, with as few emotions interfering as possible…take your time, as this step is very important.

This is an assessment into your life and what you want going forward. Not just about who you date, but what you want to do in your career, or even how you want to spend the next immediate few months.

Is he actually worth it? Does he fit actually fit into your vision for the future or is it habit and loneliness, that has you chasing him? People often figure out after some time apart from their exes, that they’ve grown as a person, and no longer need that same relationship.

It’s happened to me, multiple times. For months, I’d feel like I wanted to get one of my ex-girlfriends back. Then, with time, I would realize that they weren’t a good fit for me and my future. Maybe they were great for the old version of me, but with where I wanted to go and who I was becoming, they no longer meshed.

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A Quick Insight into the Mindset of Men (In general, specific circumstances may vary)

Despite some insinuations to the contrary, men and women are different. That is, our thoughts and natural desires in terms of the male and female interaction (mating, dating, whatever you want to call it), are not the same nor is our approach. It’s sometimes said that men are not capable of love…this is not true at all, in fact, we can fall ‘in love’ very quickly with a woman who piques our interest. This is often a detriment for many guys who:

  • Fall in love with a girl first and then she loses interest
  • Guys who are inexperienced or don’t have options, in terms of women to choose from

This becomes a problem in our dating life, because we meet women who are only a pretty good fit for us. Then, we don’t have any other girls around to offset those emotions, that this ‘pretty good match’ stirs up in us.

We can end up ‘catching feelings’ and find ourselves in a bad relationship. All of this, stems from our lack of experience with relationship dynamics, and our abilities to handle complex emotions….it’s not our skill set.


A man’s attraction skill set (the one he’s supposed to develop) is all based on the short-term. We, for the most part, don’t go out looking for relationships but end up finding ourselves in one later and wondering what happened?

This skill set we’ve had to develop in our life, consists of how we walk, talk, act, dress, look, speak to you, what we do for a living, our values, social standing, etc. All of these are variables which go into attracting women to us and getting them to want to have sex with us. I can hear the accusatory voices rising:

See, all men want is sex?

Well, to paraphrase the great comedian Patrice O’Neal…sex is all I want, if that’s all you’ve got!

Our skill set, is how we build our lives in totality. Everything that we are and can demonstrate, are short-term tools to attract many women to us. It’s completely short-term and gets us lots of options to choose from when done well.

Women, in the short-term, don’t need to have this skill set in order to attract guys. The fact that you look attractive, attracts us…we don’t particularly care too much about all the other qualities about you at first. It’s just that one superficial aspect (again this is a generalization, obviously specific circumstances may vary).

What this means though, is that women’s true attractive skill set, becomes a factor later in the relationship. For a woman to keep us in a long-term relationship, she has to be better than our other options.

A man usually wants to get with (at least on biological/sexual level), pretty much any attractive girl that crosses his path….it really is like that for us and has been for most of our lives. Our inclination is to have multiple women around.

However, the right woman with that long-term attractive skill set can make us stay around and stay faithful, if she’s that good. Note: some guys, again, simply have no options…it takes nothing for a girl to keep them around because they’re desperate, which only serves to make them even more unattractive to women. So a girl being better than his options, means nothing if he has no options.

Yes, but what does this all mean?

I wanted to bring all of this up because I need to explain a bit of what our mindset is after we are broken up from our girlfriends. Again, this is dependent on the man’s skill set (his ability to attract women).

Guys who can attract women easily, will go out and do so post-breakup, while guys who cannot are usually the one’s who sit around and pine over their ex for many months or years. Let us focus on the guys who can attract women and what happens post-breakup.

After guys get out of a relationship, it is just as bad as it is for women. In fact, I think that it can be worse for us initially because it usually catches us unprepared.

For some period of time after that, we are sad about things and tend to miss our ex a lot, as the post-breakup period can be like coming off of an addiction. We get so used to having someone around, who is so very close to us. Someone who we’ve spent a lot of time with, that a void develops in our existence after a relationship ends.

How long that period goes on depends on the guy, the length of the relationship, the intensity, etc. However, when that time period of feeling bad has passed, we begin the process of moving on.

For us, a part of moving on generally means getting more girls in our lives. Sometimes, we go on a spree, and have 5+ girls on call whenever we want to see them to ‘help’ to forget about our ex.

After months, this circle of girls can be reduced down to one girl. This one girl is most likely the ‘new girlfriend’ that your ex is currently seeing. Now, the key thing to recognize is that, this relationship may or may not mean anything. Sometimes, it just helps to have some kind of relationship to help you get through the loneliness, even if it doesn’t end up being serious.

In other cases, he might end up with a woman, that he already knew prior to the breakup. In this case, she was his best option available, and he went with it. This can often be a rebound relationship, as if we can get a woman easily to help distract from the post-breakup emotions, we will. It may be serious, but I’d say, it is more unlikely to be all that serious.

How Can You Tell if It’s Serious?

The main indicators of a serious relationship for a guy are the length of time involved and whether or not he is showing interest in other girls (including you). When we get involved with a girl there is usually a process of us having to cut out the other girls we were seeing or talking to in order to make our new girl not feel slighted. Check out this post for signs to look out for if your ex is still interested.

If it has also been several months that he and his new girlfriend have been together, then, odds are it is probably pretty serious. Which means for you, that reconciliation most likely isn’t going to happen (in the immediate term), and you need to begin the process of letting them go (even if there’s still a chance, prepare for the most likely outcome).

Another sign to look for is, how long after the break up, did he get involved with this new woman? There are other variables to consider, but generally, if he gets into another relationship within a month or so…it’s probably not that serious. It can be, but it is most likely just a rebound relationship.

A guy being in a rebound relationship, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Once the immediate excitement of being with someone new wears off, comparisons set in, and we see how she stacks up versus other women we dated. If she is a step back in his mind from what you provided, that rebound relationship, will in all likelihood be on the way out.

What To Do Post-Breakup

I would follow the same steps post-breakup whether I wanted to pursue my ex or not. Regardless, of outcome I would go no contact with them for at least a month before even attempting to do anything.

In the rest of my life, I would work on improving myself in a multitude of ways: appearance, health, get new hobbies, financially, meet new people, learn new things, work on my emotional health, fix my flaws that contributed to the end of the relationship, and whatever else I needed to work on.

Remember, he has to see you as better than his options, in order to want to be with you. Unless you had a complete falling out with one another, you probably still have a ton of currency with him and a place in his heart…working on improving you, increases your odds (but still guarantees nothing).

The reason for this is to fall back and regroup emotionally. It is also to give your ex-boyfriend space with his new girlfriend and not see you as being desperate by constantly calling him or texting him.

Don’t ever take shots or be jealous towards his new girlfriend, as that is a huge turnoff for guys and will make him resent you and will NOT make him want to take you back.

I know it can be difficult to control the urge to speak to him or to compare yourself to the new girl, but you have to keep things calm and those wild emotions in check. These sorts of outbursts and attacks DO NOT HELP AT ALL. They harm your odds by making you appear petty, desperate, and unattractive. All bad things, when you want to catch a man’s attention, in a positive way.

Yes, the first step to take is to ‘forget’ about him and his new chick for the time being and focus completely on yourself and your well-being. You don’t have to forget about him in actuality just don’t contact him, don’t accept his calls or respond to his texts, if you see him in person be brief and cordial and don’t beg for him to come back.

This period of time needs to be about you and healing yourself so that you can decide rationally what you want for your future. At the end of it, you might very well realize that he isn’t in your future plans and you can feel good about your decision to move on from that relationship.

Once that period of no contact is over you can make the decision to want to try and get him back….

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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