When you have spent lots of time apart from your now, ex-boyfriend, there can be a flood of emotions that you feel which stirs a series of thoughts and questions in your mind. One of the most common questions is, “Does my ex still love me?”
Of course, it is difficult to generalize answers to this question, as each person’s situation is a wholly unique one. However, there are some signs which tend to indicate someone’s feelings towards you, though, these tendencies are not always accurate.
In this post, we will go over some of the most common indicators, that an ex is still in to you and may want to get back together.
- 1 Did They Make First Contact?
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- 3 Communication Continues Regularly After the First Contact
- 4 He Checks Up On You a Lot
- 5 Romantic or Sexual Interest
- 6 His Conversations Have a Purpose
- 7 Do You Still Love Him?
Did They Make First Contact?
If there has been a period of no contact between the two of you and your ex-boyfriend is the one who breaks the ice, this could be a sign that he still has feelings for you. At least it indicates, that he still thinks about you.
Now, is this a guarantee that he still loves you? No, it isn’t. Did he have a valid reason to contact you? Such as, if the two of you have children and he needs to know when to pick them up.
Or for instance, he had something urgent or specific to talk to you about, which wasn’t related to the former relationship. In those types of cases, his reasons for reaching out might have no emotional significance behind them, he just needed information or something from you.
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Another possibility, is that, he is simply feeling very lonely after the break up and while he might no longer be in love with you…he might want you around because you are familiar and make him feel better.
This doesn’t mean that he still loves you, he just might still have a strong attachment to you because of your history together. People do still care, want to satisfy an emotional void, etc. However, that isn’t necessarily still being ‘in love’ with their ex-girlfriend.
Consider the context and how your ex is speaking to you. Them making first contact is not by itself a total indication that he still has deep feelings about you, but, it is a potential symptom.
Communication Continues Regularly After the First Contact
Contacting you once may be an outlier, but if your ex-boyfriend continuously contacts you, then it should catch your attention.
If he continuously texts or calls you, without an pretext to do so, then he is definitely thinking about you a lot and may still have feelings for you.
Notice that, I didn’t say that it means he loves you. Again, this could be a symptom of his loneliness, fear of change, or maybe he just wants to hookup with you, without the strings attached.
If it is at this stage, then you need to consider what you actually want. Don’t get suckered back into a relationship, just because you have no other options or your emotions make you feel like you miss him, at the moment.
When your emotions are in turmoil, it is a really bad time to start making long-term decisions. However, you still need to think about whether you truly want to make it work or just move forward with your life.
He Checks Up On You a Lot
This can include very passive things such as, liking your posts and pictures, and generally just snooping around to see what you are doing with yourself after the break up.
This also could be his jealousy rearing its ugly head, he might not love you, but he might not want to see you with another guy either. Also, he may still do this if he has a new girlfriend.
His relationship may be genuine or he may just be trying to fill the void after your split, but if he is keeping tabs on you…you’re on his mind.
This sort of checking up, can come both in the positive and negative forms. It could be encouragement or it could be him detracting from some aspect of your life.
Generally, when people don’t care at all, they don’t tend to make themselves noticed to the person they don’t care about. Others, pretend not to care and say that they don’t, but always make a point to be around or comment.
Romantic or Sexual Interest
Yes, sometimes hooking up, after the demise of a relationship is just a one or a few times thing. It can get murky, in the post-breakup period, because it is unclear whether sex is just a physical thing or if there still is that loving component.
If this is taking place and the ex, is bringing up possibilities of reconciliation, he may still be holding that romantic flame for you.
He may also do things to spark jealousy, like bringing up other women that he’s dating, etc.
This category can, again, be a bit difficult to decipher because of the nature of sex. People can get caught up in the moment, say things that they don’t truly mean, and the like.
Nonetheless, him still being available for sex, could be a sign of still being in love…or at least liking you a whole lot.
His Conversations Have a Purpose
Some guys, will text you here and there, but it can be totally meaningless. Other guys, may keep trying to steer the conversation towards your former relationship or getting back together.
These are of course, quite large signs that he may still have strong feelings. This goes beyond keeping tabs on you and your life. This can include asking lots of questions, about any new guys you may be dating, or he talks a lot about the past and mistakes that were made.
Someone who is over you, doesn’t tend to do that, and lots of people seem to drunk text their feelings to their exes as well.
Do You Still Love Him?
The ultimate question is whether you still love him or not. But another question you need to ask yourself is, even if you do love him, do you want to get back together with him?
Relationships change after a break up and people can go their separate ways and when they do get back together, it just isn’t the same and it really doesn’t work out.
Once you solve these personal questions and are secure enough to move on with or without him, you can plan your next move.