Category Archives: Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After Begging

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So, you went to or contacted your ex-boyfriend and begged and pleaded for him to come back into a relationship with you. Didn’t go too well, did it? The problem with this strategy of reconciliation, is that, it doesn’t solve any of the underlying issues which led to the break up and it also knocks your perceived value down a few notches…that’s not good.

Nevertheless, is it still possible to get him back after you’ve already gotten down on your knees and begged him to make it so? Yes, it is possible but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is probable. In this post, I want to explore a bit more in depth on begging for your ex-boyfriend back and how to move forward with things after this has already happened.

I Begged Him to Take Me Back: On Perceived Value

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Our perceptions define and influence so many decisions in our lives everyday. Literally, every aspect is run through our perceptive instruments (sight, touch, smell, etc) and then interpreted by our brains.

This includes how we value people, places, and things. For instance, a man in a business suit is perceived more favorably in general than the homeless man sitting on the corner in tattered rags.

The male model with hundreds of friends, fame, financial success is more highly valued (in social terms) than the nerdy guy playing WOW all day in his parent’s basement.

This carries over to relationship dynamics and desire. After the break up, one’s ex-boyfriend may already have a lowered perceived value of you, due to circumstances involved in the causes of the break up (lying, cheating, boredom, staleness, etc).

Now, this power dynamic may shift even further, if he is the one who initiated the end of the relationship. If only one party wanted the break up to happen, then that person holds all of the cards, as they at least on some level feels as if they no longer need the partnership in their lives.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, post-breakup, our perceptions of our former partners can change drastically. If an ex-boyfriend has a lowered perceived value of his old girlfriend and she comes back begging for him to resume the relationship, is this going to help or hurt her chances?

Obviously, it will further diminish the perceived value of the woman in his eyes. He already is preparing to move forward (how much so depends on the man and situation), and so, he is in a situation where he knows that he can get his ex back at anytime.

Why is this bad? Human beings have a tendency to overlook people/things that are already familiar and easily obtained. It’s not exciting and it’s not a turn on to have someone grovel to make things go back to how they once were.

It makes one appear unattractive and as if they don’t have any other option (whether that is true or not). The perceived value has been greatly diminished. It can be further taken down by displaying these sorts of characteristics:

  • emotional instability
  • obsessiveness
  • being way too available
  • neediness
  • showing no signs of being able to move forward

As a man, I can tell you that, most of the fun and desire upon meeting someone new is involved in the whole ‘chase’, so to speak.

Finding a new girl who doesn’t know you at all and then building that attraction is like trying to solve a complex problem to us. This is why if prostitution were legal in most places, a lot of guys would never go see one, as the whole ‘chase’ is gone…it’s too easy and just doesn’t feel natural.

This same type of feeling occurs when a relationship has ended and the perceived value is lowered…there’s nothing new or exciting, she’s begging him, and he has all the power to say yes whenever he so desires.

Desperation is never attractive. It can’t be based on the dynamics of human relationships.

As such, unless an ex-boyfriend has some sort of sick mind, that loves watching a woman beg…it’s going to not work out well. The begging and pleading strategy is probably the most common one out there, and if it worked well, there’d be way more people reconciling than actually are.

Does This Relationship Even Need to Be Re-Started?

The sun will come out...

The sun will come out…

Now that we have a general overview of what begging does to one’s perceived value following a break up with an ex-boyfriend, we must consider whether or not a reconciliation is even worth pursuing.

This is the ‘move on’ question posited by this website. I do not believe that most relationships should even be attempted to be salvaged. Many are too damaged, not good enough fits, and the desire for reconciliation is just based on loneliness and fear of being alone.

This is why I always like to grieve the end of a relationship, regroup, reassess whether or not I want to get back together, and then no matter what the decision…prepare myself mentally/emotionally that the relationship is probably done for good.

Understand that: even if you want an ex back, it isn’t always a reality and one should always prep for the most likely scenario, especially when that’s something you might not want to come to pass.

This is the part where one must dig in, and try to strip away all emotional baggage to the best of one’s ability, in order to determine whether or not it is even worth getting back together.

We have a tendency to idealize a relationship once its over and that empty feeling we get inside, impels us to try to reconcile in hopes that it makes us feel better. It’s often not even the person or the relationship that we miss, just the positive emotional boost we got from it.

The main flaw with chasing a broken relationship, is that, even if it succeeds the fundamental issues which led to the break up are still lurking around.

Just because reconciliation happens doesn’t mean that everything is all good now. In fact, things generally tend to get worse after a brief ‘honeymoon’ period.

Ask yourself, what are the underlying problems with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Are they on him? Are some on you? What is the likelihood that either of you will change? Can you honestly say that getting back together is actually what you want? What will things look like a year from now, if you succeed? Better? The same? Worse?

If there are consistent doubts to the likelihood of success either getting back together or keeping it that way once you have or if it is truly what you want to happen…it is a very good idea to consider moving on from the relationship.

Yes, it hurts a lot and it’s naturally going to be tough. However, that’s a part of life and the lows we endure are what makes the highs we experience when we are with the right person worth it. Just because someone is a good fit for you doesn’t make them the right fit for you.

Can You Get Them Back After Begging?

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The answer is a yes, but. Yes, it is possible to get him back BUT whether or not it is probable depends on a number of variables that are specific to your own situation.

I can’t answer the likelihood of reconciliation exactly but I can try to point in the right direction as to what must occur for things to get better.

First of all, it could be a long and arduous process, which is why moving on is probably the best option for most folks. You may find that after a period of time apart from one another, you don’t even want him back.

I mean, if this isn’t your first relationship ever, can you think back to how you used to feel about another ex-boyfriend and compare that to how you feel now?

There have been several girls that I was absolutely wild about once upon a time who I never even cross my mind at this point.

Time healed my emotional attachment, I grew as a person, and my needs and desires in a partner changed drastically. 22 year old me has no bearing on how I feel in my current life, nor does any girl I dated back then.

We’ve already discussed perceived value and starting from a lowered perceived value is a tough climb to make. You’ve become more akin to the undesirable nerd in his eyes than the insanely attractive seductress…sorry, it’s not to be mean, this happens to all of us from time to time.

How much damage has been done depends on your own individual circumstances.

For some reading this, things might not be that bad and could feasibly be patched up. For others, it’s almost certainly the end of the relationship…again, this is something we all have to experience and learn to move through in our lives.

Also, it depends on factors such as whether or not you cheated or betrayed his trust. Factors like this are a huge drop in one’s value and reputation for a guy. For me, it’s an automatic deal breaker.

The guy’s life and circumstances also play into the possibility of getting back together. If he is the type to have no problem getting other women, then moving on from this relationship will be much easier.

A guy without options, might have a tendency to want to get back with a girl he’s already had a relationship with…which actually can lower his perceived value.

Raise Your Value and Change Your Behavior

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Obviously, if damage has been done to how attractive one is in another’s eyes, then to have a shot of getting back with them, that trend must be reversed. In order to do that, you must consider the factors of what makes a woman attractive to a man, and enhance them on all fronts. Again, this is something that can take a great deal of time and STILL FAIL when improved upon.

Now, we should consider:

  • behavior
  • physical
  • social

Dealing with a guy who already knows you, he already knows the good and bad, and expects certain patterns from you based on experience. This makes it even harder to change the perception of value.

The behavior patterns that must change are the one’s I listed before…the begging, obsessiveness, neediness, jealousy, etc. All of these behaviors make people look really bad and aren’t seductive or attractive in the least.

This is yet another reason I suggest preparing to move on because when you emotionally move forward all these behaviors tend to fall away by themselves which naturally makes you more attractive.

Besides the desperate and irritating variety of behavior there are also the better types of behaviors like trying to genuinely be happy and supportive of an ex-boyfriend, even if there is no shot of getting together again. This isn’t sour grapes. This is actually loving someone and not merely being possessive of them and then calling it ‘love’.

Behavior also includes making changes in your life for the better such as: going back to school, new job, traveling, breaking out of a stale routine, etc.

Don’t do it just to do it but it can be a great idea after a relationship to begin to explore new things and take on new challenges.

It can also be very attractive, as there is no desperation present. The focus is on you and creating a wonderful life and not on him and trying to hold on to the past.

Physically, alterations can take place like getting yourself into fantastic shape or switching up to a better personal style. Physical changes are most noticeable at first and can be quite a shock…if they’re for the better! Not just some weird look the reeks of being desperate for attention.

Finally, there is the social aspect. Being desired by others will get people’s attention who otherwise might no longer have any interest.

Think about it, if your ex was surrounded by a bunch of other women, wouldn’t that make you want him more on some level?

Of course. It’s natural supply and demand. The same reason you can slap a designer logo on a plain t-shirt and charge $50+, the perception of value is much higher, even if there is nothing inherently different about it.

I tend to try to date other women after a break up because it naturally reminds me that their are other options out there for me and it helps me move forward. That’s what I suggest doing it for.

It can also, however, make you seem more attractive to an ex because if other people want to date you or even just be your friends, it can make someone second guess and think that they might have missed something special about you.

Remember that men like to chase, if he has no reason to pursue you, he isn’t going to. Ultimately, the dynamic must be flipped so that you are the one who is desired and not the one who is begging and pleading. This is why it’s such a tough nut to crack.

No Contact After Begging to Get Him Back?

Obviously, the one aspect that definitely needs to be changed in this scenario, is the begging.

The best way to accomplish this, is by going no contact for a period of time, usually a month or two will suffice.

If you’re not talking to him, you’re no longer pushing him away or turning him off, with the pleading to reconcile. Instead, you are taking the time to work on yourself, and get better as a person regardless of whether the relationship is saved or not.

The No Contact Rule is used to calm the emotional turmoil, give one another space, and clarity about what the future should be like. Not desperately trying to rekindle the past, but to create something that will be better in the future.

Also, time can help to erase some of the desperation that lingers over you, in his mind. I remember a long time ago, begging one of my ex-girlfriends, and her having no interest. Then, I went hard no contact (I actually decided to move on with my life), and a few months later she reached out to me.

It was as if she had no memory, of my former desperation to get her back. Time had robbed it of all importance. The images that people have in their minds about you, aren’t always fixed, and the negative can be forgotten when compared to the good.

Remember that, the no contact period is as much about you, as it is about not bothering him. In conjunction with not texting or calling or trying to see him, you are, improving yourself and attempting to make things good enough for him to want to come back.

Once this time period is over with and you feel as though, you have made progress on your goals, then contact can be re-established. From there, it might be a slower build to feel out, whether or not he’d be open to seeing you. If so, then perhaps a date can occur, or at least some sort of meeting to clear the air.

What’s the first move?

After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.

Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a man gets a call out of the blue, he may not be in the mood right then to talk.

With texts, he can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.

This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.

He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Get an Ex-Boyfriend Back If He Hates You?

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There are some break up situations in which things are cordial and even somewhat friendly between former lovers. There is no hostility and indeed some sort of reverence toward one another that could be very useful if the exes want to get back together. On the other hand, there are other broken relationships in which they really are ‘broken’, in that, one party has an intensely negative attitude towards their former partner. It can manifest into actual hatred or something closely resembling it.

This type of animosity may be short lived anger towards an action on your part or a deep and intense hatred of you as a person. What can one do to save a relationship if their ex-boyfriend seems to hate them?

Time Apart

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Situations which are intensely emotional tend to cool off in the long-term. The issue is getting to that long-term mellowing out without completely pushing that person away.

We all have things in our past that at one time really upset us and now when we look back it isn’t a big deal at all. This can be especially true in a breakup scenario because of the addictive quality of love.

I can remember being sad or angry at an ex-girlfriend to the point that it was all thought about for weeks. Fast forward to the present time and I don’t even think about these girls anymore.

It’s a strange thing but time does work wonders if you let it. The key is to not let it drag on too long, to the point which your ex moves on completely. However, bothering them during a period in which they need to work out these intense feelings can also backfire on your aims to get them back.

So, your ex-boyfriend is utterly pissed at you and now you have searched to find out how to deal with this new found hate. On the scale of likelihood of getting one’s ex back, having one hate you is on the lower end of probability. That is, if he actually hates you.

Before you can even attempt to get out of such a bind, you must give him space and time. Meanwhile, you assess your chances of actually turning these feelings positive, or if you even want to.

One’s natural tendency is to keep trying to reach out to, reason with, beg, say you’re sorry to your ex-boyfriend. Thinking that, if you just keep it up, he’ll realize his anger is wrong and come back.

While it is an intuitive thing to do, it isn’t the correct thing to do in most circumstances and can actually push someone away further.

Taking a period of no contact can be beneficial for the both of you, as it allows you to have time to really sort things out and to let emotions settle down a bit. Constantly contacting your ex makes you seem unattractive, desperate, and kind of annoying to your ex…not qualities someone wants in a partner.

No Contact can be a very hard time to get through and trying to resist the urge to talk to them when your are feeling lonely can be brutal. I would usually give it at least a month where we can each be alone and figure out what we want to do with our lives.

During this no contact period, it is important that you work on yourself and any issues you may have caused in the relationship. Think deeply and analyze if you truly want to get him back or if emotions are currently pushing you that way. In time, you may find that the best course to take is to simply move on and start dating other men.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Yes, I know, it seems like in the heat of the moment that there is no other options beside reconciliation. Though, that’s not really the case.

The more positivity you bring into your mind, and the more time apart, your outlook can change dramatically. Suddenly, you may come to realize that you want something completely different for yourself.

In fact, you might actually not any relationship, at the moment and decide to take your life in another direction.

It is important that we work on ourselves, after breakups, as it not only really helps the healing process; but also, it can give us greater clarity that perhaps we haven’t been living the life we really wanted to. Maybe, our relationship that ended badly, needed to end when it did.

Conversely, you may come to realize that you do indeed want to try and get the ex-boyfriend back. However, one still needs to accept the fact, that it might be gone for good. Always prepare for multiple outcomes, whether you end up back together, or single, or with another man eventually.

What Did You Do To Make Him Hate You?

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Your ex may actually hate you or it may just be a passing phase. In any case, what were the causes to set him against you in such a way. Did you cheat on him? This complicates things further and makes getting him back a very low value proposition.

In that type of situation, not only can it be difficult to get him to talk to you, and get him interested in reconciling the relationship. But also, having to go back and create a new relationship, based on trust and forgiveness.

It’s a longer term rehabilitation project, that has to discard older aspects of the failed relationship, and create newer stronger ties.

If you have angered him this much, think about what the issue is and why you did it. Was it a one time thing? Was this a constant or repeated behavior of yours? What have you done to change for the better? Can you even change this for him?

If cheating was the case, are you prepared to not see any other men for good? Is that honestly what you want, exclusivity with your ex?

It’s fine, if you actually just want to go out and see a bunch of different men, just be honest with yourself about it. Don’t try to drag your ex back into that situation, just because you currently have intense feelings, about the breakup.

If you cannot control those lustful impulses around other guys now, will you be able to in the future? If being monogamous, is what you want, you will need to be able to deal with these feelings when they arise. Otherwise, you’ll repeat the same mistakes again.

There are obviously things that you need to work on for him to consider taking you back in the future. What are these issues you need to correct? Figure out what they are and then come up with a plan to change them.

Literally, think about what all of your potential issues are. What did he really dislike about your role in the relationship? Be extremely honest, but don’t beat yourself up. What are your faults (we all have them) and what can you do to begin to move in a new direction?

Does He Actually Hate You, Can He Love You Again?

Sometimes, with enough time apart from each other, he may have calmed down and be willing to have an open dialogue with you.

Other times, he may not ever want to come back no matter what, this is a possibility you need to accept and be willing to move forward from. You cannot force someone into wanting to be with you and there are times when it is best to simply cut your losses.

After taking a period of no contact to evaluate things, you may still be unsure if your ex-boyfriend is open to taking you back or not.

You also, may have decided that you actually do want to try to work things out as well. Here are some indicators of interest that your ex may be open to at least discussing reconciliation.

The opening of a potential reconciliation can usually be done through text message. It is a way to send out feelers to see how he may think of you at this time.

Getting any reply is better than getting none at all but understand they may be short one word responses that don’t lead where you want them to. It is a steady progression of getting them to open up.

What’s the first move?

So, once we go through a period of no contact, we may want to re-open the lines of communication. That is, if we actually still want to reconcile this broken relationship.

Like I said, plenty of times, people recognize that they were simple being too emotional. They didn’t actually want the relationship back, rather, they wanted to pain of the break up to subside.

Anyway, if we do want to try to mend things, we need to establish contact and feel things out. The best way to do this is through the use of text messages.

Texts are great, as they don’t need to be in the mood to respond, right when they get the message. They can come back later on, when their curiosity is piqued, and see what it is you want from them exactly.

It’s a much higher rate of response, than say, calling them out of the blue or trying to ‘accidentally’ run into them.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Can I Get My Ex-Boyfriend to Come Back to Me?

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There is the ingrained belief in a lot of humans that if we simply try hard enough for something that we can make it happen. While this kind of attitude can be a good thing, it can sometimes come back to bite us. It is this mindset that we can become stuck in that won’t let us accept certain changes in our lives and know when to call it quits. In post-relationship terms, it can be quite a common idea that if we simply pursue our ex with the right type of vigor and strategy, we can surely get them back

Will He Come Back to Me?

Reality can be quite different from our hopes for it. The fact is, that many relationships cannot be repaired, nor should they even be…there’s a good reason(s) why the breakup occurred.

Other times, a reconciliation is possible and happens but only for a short period of time before it goes into the gutter once again. Usually, because nothing fundamentally changed. When the initial excitement of being together wore off, the couple will quickly be at odds once again.

And of course, there are those success stories of lovers who separated (maybe multiple times), before addressing what ailed the relationship and got back together for good.

That’s just the way life is. People change and so do their wants, desires, and circumstances. Allow yourself to feel upset or saddened by the breakup with your ex-boyfriend but not overcome by it.

Whether or not you actually do decide to pursue your ex, or indeed, get him into a relationship once again; it is a very good idea to prepare for either outcome. Either being together or still separated.

Also, realize that he probably isn’t in the same head space or life circumstance, as he was when you first met. Sometimes, the best course to take is to simply let go and move on.

OK, so what if I still want my ex-boyfriend back? Well, yes of course. It is perfectly natural to feel that way after a breakup. It can be caused by loneliness or the belief that he is indeed your true love (whether or not this is actually true and might even seem that way in this moment).

The ultimate question is whether or not you can you actually get your ex-boyfriend to come back to you? What would it actually entail?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Were the Causes of the Break Up?

To answer the question of if he might come back to you or not, you must clearly understand your situation, and what caused the separation from one another.

Did you cheat on him? Were you fighting a lot? Did you or he want different things for the relationship? Was it doomed from the start or was it mainly one thing that ruined it?

There are so many possibilities and details, relevant to your own circumstance, and it is highly important to figure out what those questions are. Plus, what the true answers are, without any self-delusional BS.

There are always specific reasons for a breakup. Even if you didn’t see it coming, there had to be some underlying cause. Sometimes, it is simply lack of chemistry or not being the right fit, for one another…it happens and you can’t beat yourself up about it.

If you can dig to the depths and find out the truth to your situation, then it can be easier to weigh the odds or if you even really want to get back together with him.

Some relationships only had a few flaws and can be remedied. Find out what your personal mistakes or flaws were, that of the relationship, and the changes you would like to see your partner make.

Heck, for some of you reading this, you were the one who broke off the relationship. You dumped him. Why? What was he doing that was getting so unbearable for you? Do you think he will change these behaviors? If not, can you actually put up with it? Do you even want to?

Have the Changes of Life Created Too Much Separation?

Sometimes, there are complete changes in life that a person undergoes. When this happens, it no longer makes sense for them to stay in the same relationships, or live the same lifestyles that they were accustom to.

People grow apart and may want different things for their potential futures. Your ex-boyfriend may not be in a position to commit to a long-term relationship or vice-versa.

When these circumstances arise, a relationship may have simply run its course and the two people are no longer in the same place mentally/emotionally as one another.

Some relationships don’t start out as anything more than a fling and when enough time goes by they falter because these relationships weren’t built on anything substantial. However, because so much time was spent together, it still has a powerful emotional resonance.

Briefly, if you and your ex aren’t at a similar place currently or where you each want to be in the future, then the relationship will not work. Attraction might have already left and that spark is gone and that will prevent a reconciliation from taking place.

Taking Consideration and Making the First Move

The first step that needs to be done in this process, is to gain the clarity about what you want. Using the ideas above, go for a period of No Contact, with your ex-boyfriend for 30-45 days and figure out what you want. (If you’re already not in contact, then, take as much time as you need to figure things out before trying to reconcile).

During this time, not only figure out what you want for a potential reconciliation (or moving on without him), but also work on your own emotional, life, and health goals/needs.

This time apart should be about self-improvement. Getting yourself in a better place, to be a better version of you, and be a better girlfriend for him (if that’s what you end up still wanting).

There does have to be some changes that are made, otherwise, anything that comes out of the reconciliation is just going to fail later on.

Begin the process, get your mind clear, life in order, and then go for contacting him.

What’s the first move?

So, for us to re-establish contact, we need a plan and knowledge of what to do. The easiest and probably most effective way nowadays, to reach out to an ex is through text messaging.

Why? Well, it takes the pressure off of the other person in the moment. It gives them the opportunity to respond later, rather than, having to do so right away.

Also, it allows a person to craft the right message to reach out, and not have to think of some random plead, on the fly.

It’s simply not as invasive, as trying to get someone on the phone, or immediately trying to see them in person.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Toward the top of the page, there was a link to download two free PDF reports, about what not to do when trying to text and ex-boyfriend. These were written by Michael Fiore, as sort of an introduction to his Text Your Ex Back program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back when He has a New Girlfriend

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As a straight male, I’ve never actually had to get my ex-boyfriend back from another girl (full disclosure :p). However, as a man I feel that I can offer a different perspective on the end of your relationship and whether or not you can start anew with him, even if he has a new girlfriend. Now, just to be upfront about things, for many women reading this: your relationship is most likely over for good and you should move on with your life. I know that sucks to hear in the middle of  emotional turmoil but it’s not the end of the world, it’s simply a change that needs to be dealt with. Now, let us get started and delve a little bit further into this topic.

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The First Thing I Ask You to Consider

The first and most paramount step that I recommend that anyone take before pursuing getting back together with their ex is to truly analyze things and figure out if that is truly what you want. You might be thinking, Of course that’s what I want, that’s how I ended up on this website! 

Believe me, I completely understand the raw emotion and hurt that comes along with a breakup or seeing your significant other with someone else. It feels terrible and it isn’t a very pleasant experience, however, it is one which we almost all will have to face in life. As such, it is important to learn how to get through it and learn to grow from this change.

Emotion obviously clouds good judgment. Most people won’t react to everyday problems with nearly the same intensity as that of a break up and this is entirely based on the amount of emotions and attachment that is involved.

This is why a long period of no contact is so important after a relationship ends because it allows both parties to have space apart and avoid the strong emotional triggers. Plus, with time emotional attachments tend to weaken.

With that being said, while you’re in an emotional state of mind, you will of course feel like you want your ex-boyfriend back even if a rational assessment of the situation would reveal that it is best just to forget about him.

After all, the relationship ended for a reason (probably multiple reasons), which means that it fundamentally had some problems. What were those problems? Would getting back together solve them? Can they be solved? The relationship would be different than it had been before, will there be lingering resentments, is the spark gone, would this even work long-term?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

See…these are the types of things that need to be thought through before even considering getting back into a relationship with that person. Take off the rose colored glasses and look at the relationship as it was and not as an idealized version of itself. Look at your flaws as well as his flaws and take your time, with as few emotions interfering as possible…take your time, as this step is very important.

This is an assessment into your life and what you want going forward. Not just about who you date, but what you want to do in your career, or even how you want to spend the next immediate few months.

Is he actually worth it? Does he fit actually fit into your vision for the future or is it habit and loneliness, that has you chasing him? People often figure out after some time apart from their exes, that they’ve grown as a person, and no longer need that same relationship.

It’s happened to me, multiple times. For months, I’d feel like I wanted to get one of my ex-girlfriends back. Then, with time, I would realize that they weren’t a good fit for me and my future. Maybe they were great for the old version of me, but with where I wanted to go and who I was becoming, they no longer meshed.

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A Quick Insight into the Mindset of Men (In general, specific circumstances may vary)

Despite some insinuations to the contrary, men and women are different. That is, our thoughts and natural desires in terms of the male and female interaction (mating, dating, whatever you want to call it), are not the same nor is our approach. It’s sometimes said that men are not capable of love…this is not true at all, in fact, we can fall ‘in love’ very quickly with a woman who piques our interest. This is often a detriment for many guys who:

  • Fall in love with a girl first and then she loses interest
  • Guys who are inexperienced or don’t have options, in terms of women to choose from

This becomes a problem in our dating life, because we meet women who are only a pretty good fit for us. Then, we don’t have any other girls around to offset those emotions, that this ‘pretty good match’ stirs up in us.

We can end up ‘catching feelings’ and find ourselves in a bad relationship. All of this, stems from our lack of experience with relationship dynamics, and our abilities to handle complex emotions….it’s not our skill set.


A man’s attraction skill set (the one he’s supposed to develop) is all based on the short-term. We, for the most part, don’t go out looking for relationships but end up finding ourselves in one later and wondering what happened?

This skill set we’ve had to develop in our life, consists of how we walk, talk, act, dress, look, speak to you, what we do for a living, our values, social standing, etc. All of these are variables which go into attracting women to us and getting them to want to have sex with us. I can hear the accusatory voices rising:

See, all men want is sex?

Well, to paraphrase the great comedian Patrice O’Neal…sex is all I want, if that’s all you’ve got!

Our skill set, is how we build our lives in totality. Everything that we are and can demonstrate, are short-term tools to attract many women to us. It’s completely short-term and gets us lots of options to choose from when done well.

Women, in the short-term, don’t need to have this skill set in order to attract guys. The fact that you look attractive, attracts us…we don’t particularly care too much about all the other qualities about you at first. It’s just that one superficial aspect (again this is a generalization, obviously specific circumstances may vary).

What this means though, is that women’s true attractive skill set, becomes a factor later in the relationship. For a woman to keep us in a long-term relationship, she has to be better than our other options.

A man usually wants to get with (at least on biological/sexual level), pretty much any attractive girl that crosses his path….it really is like that for us and has been for most of our lives. Our inclination is to have multiple women around.

However, the right woman with that long-term attractive skill set can make us stay around and stay faithful, if she’s that good. Note: some guys, again, simply have no options…it takes nothing for a girl to keep them around because they’re desperate, which only serves to make them even more unattractive to women. So a girl being better than his options, means nothing if he has no options.

Yes, but what does this all mean?

I wanted to bring all of this up because I need to explain a bit of what our mindset is after we are broken up from our girlfriends. Again, this is dependent on the man’s skill set (his ability to attract women).

Guys who can attract women easily, will go out and do so post-breakup, while guys who cannot are usually the one’s who sit around and pine over their ex for many months or years. Let us focus on the guys who can attract women and what happens post-breakup.

After guys get out of a relationship, it is just as bad as it is for women. In fact, I think that it can be worse for us initially because it usually catches us unprepared.

For some period of time after that, we are sad about things and tend to miss our ex a lot, as the post-breakup period can be like coming off of an addiction. We get so used to having someone around, who is so very close to us. Someone who we’ve spent a lot of time with, that a void develops in our existence after a relationship ends.

How long that period goes on depends on the guy, the length of the relationship, the intensity, etc. However, when that time period of feeling bad has passed, we begin the process of moving on.

For us, a part of moving on generally means getting more girls in our lives. Sometimes, we go on a spree, and have 5+ girls on call whenever we want to see them to ‘help’ to forget about our ex.

After months, this circle of girls can be reduced down to one girl. This one girl is most likely the ‘new girlfriend’ that your ex is currently seeing. Now, the key thing to recognize is that, this relationship may or may not mean anything. Sometimes, it just helps to have some kind of relationship to help you get through the loneliness, even if it doesn’t end up being serious.

In other cases, he might end up with a woman, that he already knew prior to the breakup. In this case, she was his best option available, and he went with it. This can often be a rebound relationship, as if we can get a woman easily to help distract from the post-breakup emotions, we will. It may be serious, but I’d say, it is more unlikely to be all that serious.

How Can You Tell if It’s Serious?

The main indicators of a serious relationship for a guy are the length of time involved and whether or not he is showing interest in other girls (including you). When we get involved with a girl there is usually a process of us having to cut out the other girls we were seeing or talking to in order to make our new girl not feel slighted. Check out this post for signs to look out for if your ex is still interested.

If it has also been several months that he and his new girlfriend have been together, then, odds are it is probably pretty serious. Which means for you, that reconciliation most likely isn’t going to happen (in the immediate term), and you need to begin the process of letting them go (even if there’s still a chance, prepare for the most likely outcome).

Another sign to look for is, how long after the break up, did he get involved with this new woman? There are other variables to consider, but generally, if he gets into another relationship within a month or so…it’s probably not that serious. It can be, but it is most likely just a rebound relationship.

A guy being in a rebound relationship, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Once the immediate excitement of being with someone new wears off, comparisons set in, and we see how she stacks up versus other women we dated. If she is a step back in his mind from what you provided, that rebound relationship, will in all likelihood be on the way out.

What To Do Post-Breakup

I would follow the same steps post-breakup whether I wanted to pursue my ex or not. Regardless, of outcome I would go no contact with them for at least a month before even attempting to do anything.

In the rest of my life, I would work on improving myself in a multitude of ways: appearance, health, get new hobbies, financially, meet new people, learn new things, work on my emotional health, fix my flaws that contributed to the end of the relationship, and whatever else I needed to work on.

Remember, he has to see you as better than his options, in order to want to be with you. Unless you had a complete falling out with one another, you probably still have a ton of currency with him and a place in his heart…working on improving you, increases your odds (but still guarantees nothing).

The reason for this is to fall back and regroup emotionally. It is also to give your ex-boyfriend space with his new girlfriend and not see you as being desperate by constantly calling him or texting him.

Don’t ever take shots or be jealous towards his new girlfriend, as that is a huge turnoff for guys and will make him resent you and will NOT make him want to take you back.

I know it can be difficult to control the urge to speak to him or to compare yourself to the new girl, but you have to keep things calm and those wild emotions in check. These sorts of outbursts and attacks DO NOT HELP AT ALL. They harm your odds by making you appear petty, desperate, and unattractive. All bad things, when you want to catch a man’s attention, in a positive way.

Yes, the first step to take is to ‘forget’ about him and his new chick for the time being and focus completely on yourself and your well-being. You don’t have to forget about him in actuality just don’t contact him, don’t accept his calls or respond to his texts, if you see him in person be brief and cordial and don’t beg for him to come back.

This period of time needs to be about you and healing yourself so that you can decide rationally what you want for your future. At the end of it, you might very well realize that he isn’t in your future plans and you can feel good about your decision to move on from that relationship.

Once that period of no contact is over you can make the decision to want to try and get him back….

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back if He’s Moved On

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When a relationship fails, there is usually a period of uncertainty for both parties. Neither may have a clear picture of what their next move is going to be. The paths that your ex-boyfriend can choose are many. Sometimes, he will opt to be single, for a while. Either to help himself start a new chapter in his life or to simply focus on other things besides women. While other times, he may chase a series of hookups, to either explore new possibilities or to aid in getting through the loneliness post breakup. However, there are also cases in which a guy, will get himself into another serious relationship. Even right after he just go out of one, or he wants nothing more to do with his ex-girlfriend, and just wants to get on with his life.

 

Has He Really Moved On?

For that last batch of scenarios, it can be quite a challenge to attempt to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.  A lot of the time, it is more trouble to try, than it is worth. When someone truly makes a concrete decision to move forward from a relationship, it tends to be a thing of certainty, and if he really believes in his decision there can be few things to do that can actually change his mind.

There needs to be a time, that you accept the fact, that he may actually be gone for good. Depending on what stage he’s gotten to in his moving on process, it may be likely that he is. Regardless of whether the relationship can be fixed or not, it is best to at least prepare oneself mentally, for the chance that reconciliation will not take place.

Often times people need a reality check after a break up happens. It is essential to your well-being and future plans, that you cut out the idea in your head,that if you can only fix a few things then the relationship will magically be all good again. If the two of you broke up, there were definite problems, it’s really that basic.

Things will not be the same if you get back together with him and if your thought patterns currently reflect this, you should recognize this as a form of hopeful delusion. Things will not be the same as they were, even if you are able to pull him back with you, there has to be a rebirth of sorts, so that a new relationship can be forged from the shell of the old one. It is just a fact of life that things change, people change, and relationships fail. If your ex-boyfriend seems to be moving on with his life, you should also try to do the same or at the very least learn to be happy with yourself on your own.

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On your end, getting on from the break up means accepting your life situation as it is now and figuring out how to be content or happy by yourself. Get past the pangs of loneliness and explore personal growth, so that in time, you can make a good and logical decision about what option you want to pursue…either getting him back or going a different direction in your life.

In the malaise and confusion of the post-breakup period, dependent and almost addictive feelings can emerge towards your former lover. Having these feelings and trying to rid yourself of them is not a valid excuse for getting back together with your now ex. That is just trying to solve emotional dependency by any means necessary.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

I know that after a split, there is can be a lot of uncertainty and fear. This can be quite intense when you see your ex-boyfriend moving on and you are still hoping that he will come back every singly day and you haven’t done much with yourself since he has been gone. Sometimes, you can feel like if you fail to get back together with your ex, that you will end up alone. That isn’t necessarily true and the future has not yet been written. There are always more guys out there, and yes, some that are better fits than he was for you. However, you also need to develop the skills to be strong enough and be happy on your own. You can’t just be forever stuck in the past, imagining a life with someone who may not even be interested in you any more.

This ex-boyfriend of yours might be together now with another girl and you feel like you want to get him back because you have some fear that this new girl might be a better match for him than you are. What these types of feelings and notions really are, is your egoic self rearing its ugly head. These feelings rise up when one cannot accept change and the cycles of life, you feel as if you’ve lost and perhaps your value as a woman has been lowered. This can turn into a quest to get your ex back (whether that is a good idea or not) because it feels like your self-worth is being determined by whether or not you can get this person to love you once again. Don’t let these thoughts turn you into a petty and desperate person, who tries to stir up jealousy and break him up with his current girlfriend. If you are at this stage, you have not yet accepted yourself, and you cannot be in a healthy relationship until you are happy with who you are and accept yourself fully.

Ask yourself what has changed to make this relationship work now? Like if a magical spell allowed you and your ex to be back together in an instant, what would allow things to work out now? Have any of the problems of the relationship been figured out to the point that things will run relatively smoothly? If you do not really understand the underlying issues of that relationship and can’t really think of ways things could be improved then what exactly are you chasing after? Chasing a guy simply because you feel lonely is a recipe for disaster because even if you get him back, how long is it going to last? How healthy of a relationship is it going to be? Is it just a complete waste of both of your time, to try and pursue something that may not even work out at all.

If you still really want him back…

There are some girls who have actually been through the whole process of healing and growing as a person and still feel that they want their ex-boyfriend back in their lives. If that is the case and you feel like you’re in a really good spot emotionally and in your life then you may consider using a program to help you get things going again with your ex.

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Forget About Your Ex: Getting Over it and Moving On

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There comes a time, after we have been dumped, cheated on, or gotten out of a toxic relationship, when we just want to move forward with or lives and no longer think of our ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s natural and admirable to want to push forward, without someone we were so close to for so long. However, often, just getting them out of our minds and forgetting the exist for long enough to focus on other areas of ourselves can be an absolute grind. Though, we know inherently that there must be a way out of the fog, but how do we ultimately forget about an ex completely?

 

What are These Feelings?

Many of the feelings that come with the ending of a long-term relationship are negative, in part, because there is a fear of one’s old way of life collapsing and that things will never be the same again. It seems like a really scary thing, that life will no longer carry on as it has before, and that uncertainty will rule the day.

The thing about it is, life is always changing. and people will come in and out of your life. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the life of a human being is.

If your an older reader of this website, I’m sure you can remember dating someone who felt very significant to you in high school or college. When the two of you broke up, it almost certainly seemed like a really big deal, to your young self. Nowadays, you probably don’t ever think about them, and if you do it surely isn’t as emotional as it once was for you. It becomes sort of a faded memory or a pang of nostalgia.

Younger readers, probably don’t have the same experience in dealing with break ups of relationships. This experience and flood of emotion is a new thing for you. I know how tough it can be the first time something like this happens in your life. However, billions of other people throughout time have successfully gotten through it, so you can indeed get through it also.

Just understand that these powerful emotions can make you more impulsive, than you usually would be. As such, we must take care, not to let ourselves make any really poor decisions during the healing process.

What Can One Do?

As I have moved my way through life and experience my own heartbreak, I have come to learn how to get over my feelings for my ex-girlfriends and keep pushing myself forward. It isn’t always an easy or even a pleasant process to have to get through, but I always feel that at the end, it is a rewarding one.

After all, nothing worth having, isn’t a difficult thing to attain. The highs of love wouldn’t be as high. if they weren’t accompanied by, the lowest of lows after a relationship has ended. Each time, I have grown as a person, and gathered plenty of wisdom about what I want or who I don’t want around me.

I have found out over the years that a lot of the addictive qualities of my past relationships were spurred on my a sort of co-dependency with that girl. Meaning, I was always searching for that next ‘high’ and expecting her to validate my feelings and self-worth, just as I had done for her.

I have found out the hard way that if I am not happy with myself first, that, I can never be happy because of her. She CANNOT make me happy. A relationship is there to simply enhance my life experience and perhaps to grow along with one another. Searching for happiness through, relationship after relationship, is ultimately a pointless endeavor.

Going No Contact with Them

Another thing that I always like to do for some period of time following a relationship is applying the No Contact Rule. I do this, to simply give myself some breathing room, without their influence over my emotions. The more I am away from them after a break up, the faster I can return to my rational state of mind. No Contact forces me to be on my own and learn how to function in my life without my ex-girlfriend. I wrote about this process in detail, here.

Time is a very important factor after a break up. A break up is a loss, emotionally. It definitely takes the wind out of your sails for quite a while. What I always allow myself to do after a break up is to essentially grieve its loss for some time.

I allow myself to feel these emotions and not try to cover them up or ignore any pain that I feel. I pull myself together in order to get through the work day, or whatever else, I might have going on. Though, when I get home I can be by myself, and truly let myself feel the loss.

I usually set aside a set amount of time during the evening, if I need it that day. This process doesn’t go on forever, but, it is important to get emotions out in a healthy way. I strictly adhere to a time limit for each day, though. So, I might give myself an hour to feel bad, meditate, and let go of those emotions for the day. I don’t allow myself to continue to wallow and reinforce the bad feelings.

Transitioning to the Positive

How I transition out of those negative feelings, is by slowly adding more and more positive activities into my life. Exercising, reading, meditation, or whatever else that lets me have positive emotions, I will use to replace me moping around the house or crying about the break up. This reinforces good behavioral patterns, and allows me to feel positive feelings, so that I am not just stuck in some dark place for an extended period of time.

It is important to note that, these positive activities can be extremely small things, which add up in the cumulative. So, listening to upbeat music might be one way. Initially, I just want to alter my mood towards the positive, as much as I can. It’s a small step, but our brains sort of need to relearn to be in a normal state during this time.

I also use this time post-breakup, to alter my feeling towards my now ex-girlfriend. I stop myself from idealizing the relationship and only focusing on what I thought were the good times between us.

I adopt a realism, that our relationship had enough problems that it needed to end when it did. Even if we were to re-kindle things, it would have to grow into a different relationship or fail again. I will eventually remind myself that, there are indeed other girls worth pursuing, and eventually start dating again in due time.

On the other side of the coin, even if I dislike her strongly for how things ended, I don’t give into the hatred. I want to accept things as they are and let go of her as an influence, not build her to be some kind of adversary in my own mind.

I know that I have to accept the fact that the way I may feel is not the way she might feel. Meaning, if I still want a relationship with her, I must accept the fact that she might simply just want to move on with her life without me. She may still love me but not want to be with me.

I must accept that things have indeed changed, to the extent that, the same relationship together is no longer possible. Significant changes would have to be made, for us to even think about being together in the future.

The best way to move on from an ex after a relationship is to focus on yourself and your life. Growth is an important aspect of moving on because you can’t get past your emotions if you’re constantly revisiting the past. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, find ways to experience positive emotions, find new ways to grow and experience life, and accept that things are no longer the same and your paths may not cross again. Here are some other helpful posts:

Stop Being Needy Post-Break Up

How to Cope with Loneliness

Ex Back or Move on Homepage

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Should I Take my Ex-Boyfriend Back after He Dumped Me?

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Sometimes when relationships end, the person who ended the partnership, has a change of heart and later decides that this move away from their ex was a mistake. Perhaps, the breakup was a hasty or emotionally charged decision that they confirmed was a mistake once they had cleared their heads and began to think logically. Other times, they find out how rough the single life can sometimes be and want to return to the safety of something familiar. Either way, the person who got dumped has a decision to make as to whether or not they want to accept their ex back into their lives on that level. Should you take your ex-boyfriend back after he broke up with you? Well, that depends on you, your situation, and what you want for your future.

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Get to the Root Cause of Why He Wants You Again

The first thing that you should assess, even before whether or not you want to take him back, is why did he break up with you in the first place? Sometimes, his reasoning for leaving you will reveal more than what you want from a relationship because it can often indicate if he is truly serious or not.

Think about it. If he broke up with you because he wanted to go out with a bunch of different girls, have things changed in his mind to make him want to be monogamous with you now? If he was nervous about commitment on a deeper level, has he suddenly become Mr. Ready to Marry during your time apart?

He might very well truly want to be with you but he could also just be lonely or having trouble meeting other women and so came crawling back. What are his reasons for wanting to be with you again, if things were so bad that he dumped you in the first place?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You cannot just automatically assume that he is in it for the long haul and really does want a relationship with you again, even if he says he does. He could be just as confused about things as you are and just be grasping for some level of stability.

Yes, there is the possibility that he truly realizes that he made a mistake by letting you go. There is the ‘grass is always greener’ scenario in life. Perhaps he feared commitment before, but recognized that the dating scene wasn’t all that great, and so needs to get back together.

Another point, is that he might have gotten caught up in the emotional turmoil of the break up. He dumped you for some reason, perhaps was upset about something involving the two of you, and then cooled down later after the damage was done. Now, pride kicks in, and it takes him a while to gather the courage to ask to get back together. He was impulsive and broke up with you for a frivolous reason.

It gets lonely sometimes

What Has Changed?

There are always reasons for breakups. Sometimes they’re major and other times they are quite minor and silly to think about. However, no matter what the problem was, if there is not a solution, then you are simply getting back into a broken relationship. If that’s the case, it’s best to just forget about him and move on.

Think about what you’re relationship’s problems were. Was it equally split between the two of you or was he the main culprit for the issues that popped up? If cheating was involved (especially on his part) then a vast majority of the time it is a very bad idea to get back together.

People always pronounce that they are going to change and they may even show strides towards making that a reality…BUT…the truth of the matter is that change is extremely difficult for people to make. Change isn’t just a superficial paint job to cover up the mistakes and problems of the past, rather, it is something which needs to occur on a fundamental level in order to truly be effective.

With that in mind, question what about your relationship has changed and what will change for the better if you do decide to take him back. Things don’t go back to being the same just because you want them to.

In fact, it’s almost as if you are creating a new relationship from scratch, since the old one was obviously broken in some way or multiple ways. Be level-headed and logical to avoid falling into the trap of chasing what you had in the past together and if you cannot see a viable future, then it is time to accept the breakup once and for all.

If you decide to start talking to him again, about the possibility of reconciling the relationship, and you’re getting the vibe that his motives aren’t what he says they are…it’s a valid reason to end it and move on with your life. Changes need to materialize at some point and it’ll be a waste of your time, to simply get stuck in the same rut again, that caused the original split.

 

What Do You Want?

Ultimately, you must decide what you want for your life and what type of relationship you want to be in. Nostalgia and those intense feelings you may still have for him are not enough to make a relationship work. Nor do they mean that getting back with him is the best decision for you and your life.

It’s really tough to let someone you love go but when it comes to dysfunctional relationships, it truly is the best choice to make.

If you don’t have a clear picture of what you want to do with your life, or that he should definitely be the guy you want to be with for the long haul; it is a good idea to not take him back. This is not a decision to be taken lightly or to make impulsively, as getting back into a bad relationship or one that has run its course, will lead to bad results and waste large potions of you time.

Think long and hard about this, don’t be in an emotional state, weigh the pros and cons, and eventually a clear picture will emerge. If one doesn’t then you probably shouldn’t get back together.

Where do you see things in five years? Both in your life and career, but also for the type of relationship that you want. Can he actually fit into this scenario? If you want marriage and kids and he doesn’t, is it going to be worth fixing this boyfriend/girlfriend scenario? Shouldn’t you instead spend your time getting your life the way you want it, so that when you meet the right guy, everything is set?

It can be tough because of these emotional attachments that we have to people. In the short-term, it hurts like hell to let them go, because they can supply strong positive feelings when they’re around. The problem is, in the long-term, it can derail what you want from life if they aren’t the right person. The right person when you’re 20, might be completely wrong for you at 27 years old. The idea is to mature and grow together, if he isn’t capable, then what’s the point?

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Fast

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Sometimes, it’s over because you cheated or he cheated. Other times, it’s more of a clean break, but there is still the lingering feeling of wanting to reconcile. Yet still, there are times when he has moved on or is just stubborn, and you’re wanting to know how you can win your ex-boyfriend back quickly?

Following a breakup, it is a common thing for ladies to want to get back  with their now, ex-boyfriend. It is a very anxious and emotional time after a split because you have to deal with such a major change in your life and must figure a way to move forward with or without this guy.  Whatever took place in your personal situation, these kinds of erratic feelings can take their toll on a person and make someone desperate to want to fix a relationship as it had been previously.  What one needs to recognize about a break up is that the  relationship itself will never be the ‘same’. It can be started anew and repaired but it will always have to be created as a newer and more functional relationship in order to persist into the future.

It is usually much more than one simple thing that causes a breakup. That means if you would only go back and change one thing, the relationship was still probably doomed. The first big decision one has to make before attempting to rekindle things with their ex-boyfriend, is if that getting back together fast, is really what you want or is this decision being based on a poor emotional state.

Before getting into steps to take to try to restart things with your ex, I am going to cover some reasons why you may want to reconsider at this point in time. Having a clear mind will allow you to have a better vantage point to decide what your next steps should be.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

See Clearly Again Before Trying to Get Back Together

It is a very good idea to try and see the truth about your failed relationship. No BS, no lies, no idealizing. We tend to only think about the good aspects of the relationship after a breakup, because we start to have doubts and feel great loneliness at times.

What were really the problems fundamentally? Be brutally honest in your assessment. Was it cheating? Was it a lack of communication? Did you two start to go down separate paths in life? Did you want different things out of the relationship? Are these problems fixable in a short period or time or are they going to take more work? Heck, are they fixable at all?

What’s going to change about the two of you as a couple and how you get along, even if you get him to come back soon? Are the issues going to creep back up and make the relationship fall apart in short order, once again?

If he initiated the breakup, why did he do so? One doesn’t need to tear themselves down or belittle their self-worth, but you should try to be honest about what the causes of him wanting out were. Sometimes, these are fixable, and other times they will point to things being over for good.

Figure out exactly what the problems were and if these core issues are a deal breaker or something that can be repaired with a little bit of work. There are plenty of couples who will be great for each other in one moment of time, then, no longer be correct for one another as life moves forward. People grow and grow apart. Gaining clarity in this way, can help you to make a choice to move on or to potentially try and get him back.

Get Out From Under Dependency

Happiness does not come from a relationship or another person, happiness comes from within. If one’s internal well-being or sense of self comes from an external source, then, as soon as it goes away (like a breakup) then the happiness will disappear. Too few people understand this and as a result, get walloped emotionally when their significant other leaves.

It is easy to become addicted to someone who makes you feel good about yourself, however, it can dredge up all types of negative emotions in their absence. This is why it is a good idea to go no contact for a period of time post-relationship in order to let yourself heal and get some perspective on your life. Otherwise, one can fall into their own mental traps and become especially needy towards that other person.

This emotional dependency and expectation of the other person always being around, takes time to get past. Wallowing in the constant negative emotions for too long, helps to reinforce them. This is why after a breakup, I always give myself a set period of time each day to just feel bad about it.

Then, I purposefully, add things into my schedule that induces positive emotions. This can be simple things like meditation, listening to motivational speeches, watching comedy movies/shows…any simple thing to get me in a more upbeat mood. It’s kept basic to help ween me off of those intense negative emotions and not allowing them to become a permanent fixture.

 

Let Time Do Work

Time is important because it can be very difficult to figure things out after a relationship ends, as emotions are not stable. Making bad decisions when you’re in this sort of state of mind can have negative consequences and push you to make irrational judgments when you otherwise would not have acted in a specific way. You can’t allow yourself to be one of those people who pines after and wallows about their exes for years after the fact, instead of moving on with your life. Time apart and time to heal lets you get things in your life together and make good decisions about where you would like to go.

We can crave being with the other person whether we actually want to get back together with them or not. Familiarity is comfortable and a breakup throws our comfortable lives into complete upheaval. Thus, we feel like we want things to go back to the way they used to be.

However, the passage of time bring about lots of change in our lives. This is why people we dated a long time ago, don’t have the same pull that they once did, if we even think about them at all. The time period immediately following a split, is highly volatile, and within this emotional tumult poor decisions can be made. Decisions made not of sound reasoning, rather, insanely powerful emotions that may disregard what it best for us in the long-term.

Not learning to heal and mend after things go bad, is what brings about the obsessiveness in the future. This is why some people continually pine for their exes, years after they dated them. Whether or not the reconciliation actually takes place, it is very important to get oneself in a solid and healthy mental state. This comes about with time and a steady work towards mental clarity.

Using the No Contact Rule During this Time of Healing

The first step to getting ready to try to get an ex boyfriend back, is doing the full assessment of the situation, and deciding if that’s actually what you want. Next, comes the time apart to get your emotional house in order, it is during this time that we apply the No Contact Rule.

No Contact is exactly what the name suggests, taking a certain period of time (about 30-45 days), and not talking to or texting the ex. It is important to stick to this as best as possible, as you both need time to cool off, and experience the separation for a while.

Use this time to improve your daily moods and emotional state. Also, figure out what direction you want to take things, if the reconciliation doesn’t occur. This can be personal development or life goals of a positive nature. Not wallowing about the broken relationship.

 

What’s Next?

Remember when I wrote about the importance of letting time pass? Here is where that takes on another layer of importance. With time, the bad things about your relationship tend to fade in your ex-boyfriend’s memory. This doesn’t mean that  all of the problems are gone but what it does mean is that if they truly do miss you on some level, they can start thinking about the positive aspects of what once was.

If you have played things correctly up until this point, the two of you have spent significant time apart from one another, and you have both grown up and improved yourself as a person. You have had time to reflect on whether or not getting back together is a good choice to make or not. While they, have also had time to consider what their life is like without you. From experience, the girls who wanted to come back always made the first move in contacting me. I would always get a text or online message saying something like, “Hey, I was just thinking about you and wanted to see how you are doing.” Or something like, “I was driving over by (insert place) and it reminded me of (some time spent together).”

If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them. When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.

You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work? There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.

What’s the first move in Communicating?

Reestablishing contact with an ex can be a tricky proposition. This was especially true in the days before cell phones were common and you actually had to try to call their house or see them in person.

Luckily, text messaging, has made things much simpler for opening lines of communication with an ex-boyfriend.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance of them answering.
  • You can craft the right message to them. Thus, again increasing the odds that they’ll bite on the message.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication. Texting isn’t invasive and with the right strategy, an ex won’t feel like you’re constantly pestering them to talk. It’s much more casual and there’s less pressure on them.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Check them out, if not. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

In this program, he breaks down the strategy of getting the lines of communication back open with the other person, and how to move things along towards a potential reconciliation.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Will My Ex-Boyfriend Come Back if I Stop Chasing?

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A break up happens and you’re not satisfied with this result. You want him. You want him back, just like how it used to be. So, you chase. The more you chase the further he pushes away, it seems. As such, you draw the conclusion, that if you stop chasing your ex-boyfriend he will then come back. Interesting theory, but will it work if you give him space? What are the potential outcomes for such time apart? Chasing is almost never the right answer, especially when its already proven to be ineffective, but will he want to get back together if you let up?

 

Is Chasing Driving Him Away?

Possibly. To what extent depends, though, one could argue that it certainly isn’t helping matters at all.  On the one hand, he may not want to get back together regardless of being chased or not. On the other hand, it might be the chasing that is giving him doubts.

Therefore, the best course of action to take is one of inaction, at least in terms of bothering an ex-boyfriend. The broken relationship needs time to cool off and that’s near impossible to do when one party, keeps running after the attention of the other.

People often think that doing nothing is somehow a bad move, because we always feel the need to try and ‘fix’ a situation. What’s important to understand is that breakups usually aren’t as simple of a fix as just badgering the other person non-stop until you’re magically back together. NO!

Instead, there is often a time apart, when the former couple can gain clarity about what they each want for their lives as individuals and then move forward with or without each other. This time apart is usually enforced by the application of the No Contact Rule which allows the emotional turmoil of the breakup to settle down a lot before any potential reconciliation takes place.

Also, chasing in itself, simply isn’t attractive. It can come off as really desperate, even if one is desperate, it’s not an attractive quality to the man in this scenario.

If chasing isn’t working, then, one needs to give the guy some space. That’s clearly his wish to not be pestered about getting back together, at every moment. This doesn’t mean that he will forget you, it’s just a respite from being in constant contact.

Why Does He Want Time and Space Apart?

Well, put the shoe on the other foot for a second. Imagine some guy that you’d broken up with, were trying to talk, text, and see you at every possible moment. Maybe, you’d be willing to try and work things out, but he won’t give you the time you need to figure out what’s the best path for you to take.

Wouldn’t you get annoyed at some point? Even if you still had strong feelings and the inclination to reconcile with him, the act would wear thin, eventually.

That’s the same situation that the ex-boyfriend is currently facing. Not only does he have his whole work, school, or whatever other life to worry about. Now, he also has an ex-girlfriend vying for his limited attention.

There’s no way he can gain clarity about what he wants in terms of potentially fixing the broken relationship, if he has his old girlfriend, trying to be around all of the time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.

 

Say the Chasing Stops, Will He Want to Get Back Together?

There’s no guarantee, but the odds will certainly be better than, continuing to try and force him back into the relationship. As I always say on this site, there is never a 100% chance that a relationship can be salvaged, all you can do it play the best odds.

So, what’s more likely, him coming back after you let him have time apart OR continuing to chase him…which has already been failing?

That was rhetorical, but the answer is the first option mentioned above.

Chasing someone isn’t going to wear them out and make them submit. It’s going to trigger frustration and make them want to have nothing to do with the person, who won’t let them be.

So, the best course to take is one in which, he is given space for a time. To where he feels like he’s not being constantly pressured and can make a clear decision about whether or not he wants to get back together.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Will My Ex-Boyfriend Come Back if Given Space?

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There are times when a break up happens, that one party almost immediately begins chasing the other, in order to get back together with them. In this case, the boyfriend, asks his ex-girlfriend to stop and give him space. He wants time apart from having to deal with the broken relationship. Why? What will happen if he is given this time apart? Will he come running back? Will he find someone else? Will giving him space make him miss me? These are all very common questions and worries when dealing with a break up. But should he get the space he desires or is that a mistake?

 

 

Is Space What is Needed?

Potentially. It is very difficult to get someone to change their mind about something, when they’re feeling crowded or pressured, by an outside force. This can be especially true, when that person is someone who you’ve recently broken up with.

Time apart from one another allows the emotions of both sides to calm down quite a bit and allows for more clarity about how they each want to proceed with their own lives. This is why something like the No Contact Rule can be so darn effective, as it let’s people decompress from the relationship, and think about what could possibly come next.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Many people have a fear of giving an ex their space and time apart because they think that they will forget all about them. That isn’t necessarily true and time apart can actually have the opposite effect on a person. Many times, this time away from one another can trigger feelings and emotions to make they guy miss his ex-girlfriend.

Bottom line: if he asked for space, give it to him. Don’t let your own emotions or ideas about what is best for him, try to supersede his current wishes. At some point, he’ll be ready to communicate once again, or move on from the relationship if that’s what he wants.

 

Why Does He Need Me to Leave Him Alone?

In all likelihood, he has plenty of other things happening in his life beyond just a breakup. Work, school, family, etc. So, having his ex-girlfriend consistently or constantly vying for his attention can be draining. Especially, when the break up is still a fresh wound.

As a man, I want to be left alone a good chunk of the time, even when I’m in a good relationship with a woman. Never mind when I’m trying to figure out what course of action I should take with my life, after a breakup has occurred.

Think about it: how can someone ever miss someone else, if that person is always around or texting them about the past?

There is nothing more irritating to us, then having our girlfriend or ex bothering us when we’ve asked them, to let us be. Like, super super irritating.

Let him have his space.

 

But Will He Come Back?

He’s more likely to, than if his wishes are not being respected. Obviously, when dealing with human beings, there’s no 100% guarantee that their definitely going to try to get back with their ex. I mean, there are so many variables about him, his personality, and what he wants for his life that only he knows about.

However, one has to play the odds when trying to get an ex-boyfriend to come back. In this scenario, is him being left alone for the time being, going to increase those odds? Almost certainly yes.

Desperation isn’t an attractive quality and continually chasing a guy is only going to serve to push him further away. Meaning, he will be less attracted to a woman who chasing him hard instead of giving him space.

What Do I Do During this Period of Time?

He needs his space to figure things out. You should do the same.

When time is spent apart from one another, emotions settle down a bit, and one can think about things clearly. Including, if you actually want him back or is it just the powerful emotions that have been stirred up post-breakup?

I know it seems like a silly question to ask at this point, but there are plenty of people who come to realize that a particular relationship wasn’t the best for them and there lives. This realization could only take place during a period of no contact.

What should you do after a breakup? Focus on you and what you want for yourself.

Take time to grieve the relationship and how it ended but don’t obsess over it. I always have given myself a set time during the day where I could just feel bad about a break up. BUT I made sure to limit it to just that time.

I would offset that ‘bad feelings time’, with as much positivity as I could experience throughout the day. I would listen to motivational speeches, meditate, read books, exercise, watch comedies, laugh with friends…anything that made me feel better and not wallow in my emotions.

This should be a time of self-improvement and self-realization. Figure out how to address your weaknesses. What about the relationship could’ve been improved? How could you have been a better girlfriend? Anything? Even if this relationship is indeed over for good, use this as a learning experience.

Here are some useful posts about the post-break up time:

 

How Long Should He Be Given Space?

Give it a week or two before testing the waters. If he communicates first, good. If you text him and he still doesn’t seem ready. Wash and repeat the process of giving him a few weeks and then communicating with him.

At a certain point in time, both parties should have a clear idea about whether or not they might consider getting back with one another.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Naturally, we must give the other person space. But when we have allowed the situation to breathe for a bit, we’ll want to reach out and see what he’s wanting to do.

Texting fulfills this need, think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance

 

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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