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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Will My Ex-Boyfriend Come Back if Given Space?

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There are times when a break up happens, that one party almost immediately begins chasing the other, in order to get back together with them. In this case, the boyfriend, asks his ex-girlfriend to stop and give him space. He wants time apart from having to deal with the broken relationship. Why? What will happen if he is given this time apart? Will he come running back? Will he find someone else? Will giving him space make him miss me? These are all very common questions and worries when dealing with a break up. But should he get the space he desires or is that a mistake?

 

 

Is Space What is Needed?

Potentially. It is very difficult to get someone to change their mind about something, when they’re feeling crowded or pressured, by an outside force. This can be especially true, when that person is someone who you’ve recently broken up with.

Time apart from one another allows the emotions of both sides to calm down quite a bit and allows for more clarity about how they each want to proceed with their own lives. This is why something like the No Contact Rule can be so darn effective, as it let’s people decompress from the relationship, and think about what could possibly come next.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Many people have a fear of giving an ex their space and time apart because they think that they will forget all about them. That isn’t necessarily true and time apart can actually have the opposite effect on a person. Many times, this time away from one another can trigger feelings and emotions to make they guy miss his ex-girlfriend.

Bottom line: if he asked for space, give it to him. Don’t let your own emotions or ideas about what is best for him, try to supersede his current wishes. At some point, he’ll be ready to communicate once again, or move on from the relationship if that’s what he wants.

 

Why Does He Need Me to Leave Him Alone?

In all likelihood, he has plenty of other things happening in his life beyond just a breakup. Work, school, family, etc. So, having his ex-girlfriend consistently or constantly vying for his attention can be draining. Especially, when the break up is still a fresh wound.

As a man, I want to be left alone a good chunk of the time, even when I’m in a good relationship with a woman. Never mind when I’m trying to figure out what course of action I should take with my life, after a breakup has occurred.

Think about it: how can someone ever miss someone else, if that person is always around or texting them about the past?

There is nothing more irritating to us, then having our girlfriend or ex bothering us when we’ve asked them, to let us be. Like, super super irritating.

Let him have his space.

 

But Will He Come Back?

He’s more likely to, than if his wishes are not being respected. Obviously, when dealing with human beings, there’s no 100% guarantee that their definitely going to try to get back with their ex. I mean, there are so many variables about him, his personality, and what he wants for his life that only he knows about.

However, one has to play the odds when trying to get an ex-boyfriend to come back. In this scenario, is him being left alone for the time being, going to increase those odds? Almost certainly yes.

Desperation isn’t an attractive quality and continually chasing a guy is only going to serve to push him further away. Meaning, he will be less attracted to a woman who chasing him hard instead of giving him space.

What Do I Do During this Period of Time?

He needs his space to figure things out. You should do the same.

When time is spent apart from one another, emotions settle down a bit, and one can think about things clearly. Including, if you actually want him back or is it just the powerful emotions that have been stirred up post-breakup?

I know it seems like a silly question to ask at this point, but there are plenty of people who come to realize that a particular relationship wasn’t the best for them and there lives. This realization could only take place during a period of no contact.

What should you do after a breakup? Focus on you and what you want for yourself.

Take time to grieve the relationship and how it ended but don’t obsess over it. I always have given myself a set time during the day where I could just feel bad about a break up. BUT I made sure to limit it to just that time.

I would offset that ‘bad feelings time’, with as much positivity as I could experience throughout the day. I would listen to motivational speeches, meditate, read books, exercise, watch comedies, laugh with friends…anything that made me feel better and not wallow in my emotions.

This should be a time of self-improvement and self-realization. Figure out how to address your weaknesses. What about the relationship could’ve been improved? How could you have been a better girlfriend? Anything? Even if this relationship is indeed over for good, use this as a learning experience.

Here are some useful posts about the post-break up time:

 

How Long Should He Be Given Space?

Give it a week or two before testing the waters. If he communicates first, good. If you text him and he still doesn’t seem ready. Wash and repeat the process of giving him a few weeks and then communicating with him.

At a certain point in time, both parties should have a clear idea about whether or not they might consider getting back with one another.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Naturally, we must give the other person space. But when we have allowed the situation to breathe for a bit, we’ll want to reach out and see what he’s wanting to do.

Texting fulfills this need, think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance

 

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

Dating

How to Get Out of the Friend Zone with a Girl

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The friend zone is a dreaded no man’s land of the male/female interaction. A guy gets to be close to a woman, but doesn’t get to the next level with her. He isn’t rejected outright like other guys in her life, however, he doesn’t get to enjoy the intimacy that she allows with the guys that she actually dates. It’s a place where you’re stuck in an unrequited pseudo-relationship, with a girl who doesn’t seem to ever have that same attraction…but she still wants you around. The question is obvious, how does a guy get out of the friend zone? Can the relationship dynamic be changed fast?

 

 

 

Is It Possible to Get Out of the Friend Zone?

Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer: Yes, but it can be quite difficult and takes time to pull off. Plus, there is no guarantee of success. As such, a man could put forth a whole lot of time and effort towards getting out of the friend zone, and still be no better off months later.

In my mind, the ‘effort’ to getting out of the friend zone, produces great results both socially and with other women in general. So, even if the girl a guy wants to get with never happens, he is in a fabulous spot either way.

 

The Type of ‘Friendship’ We’re Talking Here

Not all friend zone situations are the same. In this post, I want to get into that unrequited type of admiration or love or whatever you want to label it as. The situation in which the man desperately wants the girl he is ‘friends’ with, has made overtures toward her, and gets romantically rejected. Then, he is stuck with a girl he wants something more with, but doesn’t want him as anything more than a ‘buddy’.

If you’re looking to get out of the friend zone with an ex-girlfriend, I wrote about that here: Ex-Girlfriend Just Wants to be Friends

There are other situations in which the guy thinks he is stuck with the girl, but actually isn’t, and times where he just hasn’t tested the waters yet. Sometimes, a girl in your social circle will actually like you and want to get with you BUT she won’t make the first move (she doesn’t want to be rejected). In that situation, if you want her, you need to make things happen.

Again, I am going to be focusing on the first scenario, in this post.

 

The Fundamental Problem that Needs to Be Resolved

One of the most basic principles that I put forth in terms of dating, is this: Attraction is Perception

If one is not getting sexual attraction from women, it is a problem of how that man is being perceived. Change the perception and you can change the level of attraction. (Side note: I wrote a whole Amazon Kindle book, on how I personally did this, to go from never having a girlfriend to having options whenever I wanted:  Game without Games

Now, when I say this, I am speaking in terms of the general population. For example, if you were to get in ridiculous physical shape, more women would become attracted to you than had been previously. Yet, even with this being true, there would still be some for which the change didn’t move the needle all that much.

You can’t change the perception of every single woman enough to have an attraction towards you. However, you can for a whole lot of them. I would assume in most cases, that a girl who is friends with you, has some level of non-romantic attraction to you. One would then, simply need to stoke that desire within her to make her view you as a viable romantic/sexual partner.

A huge caveat to this, is if you’re dealing with a manipulative woman, who keeps guys around just to use them. For our purposes, I’m going to keep to the assumption that this is not the case, but guys do need to get hip to this possibility.

Back to perception and attraction.

How a man is perceived can have a many magnitude impact on how he is treated within the sexual marketplace. I’ve used this example before, of a man who is a great musician, but who keeps his songs to himself and lets no one else hear them. If this man, walks into a bar, will he get attraction from the ladies? Maybe. Unless, he is some super good looking guy, it probably won’t be an overwhelming one. Heck, he can be wealthy too, but nobody knows it by looking at him.

Okay, so, take the same exact scenario but only change the fact that this man has released his music to the public. He scores multiple Top 10 hits from it and he is now has ‘celebrity’. Nothing has changed about who he is, just other’s perception of him. Does he get more female attraction? Of course! The notoriety completely shifts the perception and the attraction follows.

In the second scenario, he would have as many women as he wanted (presumably), but there’s nothing different about who he is as a person. He is just now ‘more’ attractive because of the incredible power of social status and its effect on the human brain.

Within our society, celebrity is potentially the greatest variable in changing perception, and could have almost overnight changes in the level of attraction. While this isn’t an option for most of us, we can still change perceptions on a smaller scale, in order to (possibly) get the attraction of a woman we desire. Meaning, we can use perception of ourselves to crawl out of the friend zone.

 

How the Friend Zoned Man is Perceived

The man who is stuck in the friend zone is viewed as not a sexually viable option for the woman. Yes, sometimes sex can occur between the two, but it’s usually doled out due to pity or the guy in the friend zone happened to be the only option that night when she was horny. Right place, right time.

The guy doesn’t give her those body tingles and overwhelming urges that the men that she actually wants to date do. The friend zoned man is almost an androgynous character in her eyes, not quite male nor is he a female either. He is a nice, stable option to spend time with, have platonic fun with, and sometimes complain to about the other men that she is actually dating or sleeping with. Anything beyond that garners a response of, “Oh, you’re like a brother to me”.

It’s quite a weird relationship to be in. Like, a man might have women in his social circle that he is friendly with, goes to events together and such; yet there isn’t this other level of being in a sexual purgatory.

Yes, I tie it all to sexual attraction because that is what it boils down to. If a woman wants to sleep with a man, has that intense sexual attraction, she will put up with a lot in order to get it. This is one of the reasons that you see so many girls with guy’s who you would consider to be ‘jerks’ or ‘bad boys’, they give her those special tingles. Androgynous friend zone guys do not. Even if the girl is a virgin, she will still have the strong attraction to the guy who makes her want to have sex, and not the goofy guy she’s friends with.

I don’t think many guys fathom, the true sexual nature, and levels of desire that women have. I mean, even if I hadn’t dated any women during my life, just living in apartments with thin walls, would’ve tipped me off to how much sex/masturbation chicks have. This sort of pedestal worship or idealization of women, can cause a lot of problems in your dating life, but a full discussion is beyond the scope of this post.

The basics of getting out of this situation, is to alter the perceptions about oneself, in order to be regarded as a ‘desirable’ man. A woman has no need to date a man who not only does give her those sexual feelings but also acts like a good little lap dog, who is always at her beck and call.

Here is an on point and funny overview of the ‘Time Ho’ situation, from comedian Patrice O’Neal (my post continues below the embeded video):

Essentially, it is a one sided game. The woman is getting everything she wants from that particular man. Meanwhile, the man is keeping up the facade of being ‘just friends’ with the girl, when that isn’t what he wants at all. He in actuality, either wants to date her or just have sex with her, but is afraid to lose the access he has to spend time with this woman. Thus, the impasse, and feeling like you’re stuck in the friend zone.

The only two ways that I’ve been able to see out of such an impasse are to walk away from this situation (yes, you may have to let go of your ‘friend’) or to alter the perceptions about you that females in general have towards you, and spark the attraction that you want.

 

Getting Out of the Friend Zone

Option #1

As I wrote above, one way out, and the easiest way is to simply stop chasing and walk away (or at least not act like a lap dog and go have your own romantic life outside of this chick). Isn’t it bad to give up on something? Not necessarily. This is especially the case if you’re chasing a woman, simply because the woman has hurt your pride, through this constant low level rejection.

It’s just another sunk cost fallacy, “I’ve spent so much time and effort trying to get with this girl, quitting now would be crazy. I’m probably really close to making something happen!”

At some point, it just becomes ridiculous. What is so damn special about one girl? Now, she may be the best person ever, but the odds are that this really isn’t the case. What about other women? There are billions of them, after all. None of the others, could provide the same level of satisfaction or joy, as this one lady?

I don’t know whether or not this path would be correct for you personally, but I simply ask that you weigh your options, and give it a full consideration.

 

Option #2

All right, so here we are. In order to shift the perceptions about ourselves and get out of the friend zone, we have to understand a little bit about what makes men attractive to women.

Most guys when asked what women look for in a guy, will answer the usual: looks, money, confidence, etc. Plus, they will usually take it as if you don’t have one of those things, then no woman will ever date you. Not the case.

I’ll assume that most guys reading this have grown up playing video games. Whether it is a sports game or an RPG, characters in the game will often have ratings. So, for instance, in Madden or FIFA, a player may be rated 0-99 in speed. This is a player attribute.

In the dating market, men have attribute ratings too. How one fairs in each of these categories will determine how many women are attracted to him. So, yes, one can be extremely good looking and get women based off of that. Just like a faster athlete will be preferable in those sports video games.

However, while you can get attraction based off a single attribute, who a man is in totality will determine his ‘dating success’ with the general female population as a whole. Just like in the game, you may want the fastest athlete, but if he has no other skill set…he’s almost useless. I’ve known plenty of really good looking guys, who got dumped constantly because they either had nothing else going on, or were just awful at expressing their positive attributes.

What a man can do to increase the amount of women that he attracts, is to improve every aspect that makes up who he is, to the best of his ability (before diminishing returns sets in). One gets better in all aspects in order to attract the greatest possible number of women, while each individual woman, will weigh each individual attribute to her personal tastes…this is why you get materialistic gold diggers versus women who really don’t care much about money.

So when guys ask, “Do looks matter?” The answer is yes…to an extent. That extent is determined by that individual woman’s tastes, but among females in general, a good looking man will get more women attracted to him. It’s just common sense. Everything matters, it’s just a changing weighting of importance, on a individual level.

Beyond that, there is also the temporal importance of attributes. Meaning, looks and status, can matter a great deal more in the short term of a relationship and also in the short-lived ‘hook-up’ type relationships than they do in long-term stable relationships.

The most powerful attribute that I have seen or employed myself in getting the initial attraction for any type of relationship, is the personality. No BS here, but a guy who has every aspect of his personality fine tuned, is an absolute machine in terms of attraction. Charisma is extremely potent and why certain folks can walk into a room and just instantly change the entire mood (for the better or worse).

 

Letting Go

Whether one attempts to attract the girl that put him in the friend zone or not, he still must let go of those hyper attachments he has to her. All of the thoughts about her being ‘the one’ or put on a pedestal, have to go.

Why? This is because he is coming from a place of lower value. He doesn’t offer the girl anything by begging and pleading or being super ‘nice guy’. She wants to date a man that she’s attracted to and desperation is never attractive.

Right off the bat, all of the simp-ish gift buying, dinners, and being her sounding board for all of her problems needs to stop.

Hell, that’s not even a real friendship. Even if you wanted to be in a platonic friendship with this girl, the desire for her would have to be let go of, otherwise it’s just the same old friend zone.

To be more than friends, there needs to be more boundaries that are established. Meaning, one needs to have his own life outside of whatever this relationship with this girl, actually is. Don’t always be available, have a social network outside of her, go out with other women!

In short, make your life better and more enjoyable, and stop holding on to all of these feelings. You don’t need to cut her off completely (unless you’re planning on moving on and not trying to get out of the friend zone), but just don’t make it an all the time thing, that you need to hang out with her.

 

Self-Improvement

A man should be constantly working on better himself and his life circumstances regardless of any woman, but self-improvement is also an important part of getting out of the friend zone.

This particular perception that the girl has of you, isn’t one that she sees as yet viable enough to date or at least have sexual interest in. Again, it isn’t always possible to attract an individual woman in particular, but since she is ‘friends ‘ with you there is at least some level of non-sexual attraction.

Now, the key is to combine that non-sexual attraction with some newly developed sexual attraction.

Remember, I said that getting out of the friend zone can take a long while, as there needs to be time to shift perceptions about you enough. So, this can involve lots of work.

 

Physical

Naturally, one of the most noticeable shifts in someone’s perception about you can come from one’s immediate physical appearance. Muscle mass, body fat, hair cuts, etc. can all have a dramatic effect on how you appear and are perceived as a person.

Think about the homeless guys on the street and how they look and are perceived by people as a whole versus the guy in the tailored suit. Big difference, right? Even for women, this holds true, with images of girls with and without makeup. It’s like a completely different person and they get treated as such.

Not every guy will need to be worried about this aspect, but if you need to get into better shape, and have an improved sense of style…do so.

 

Social

A second shift point can within the social realm. Most likely if a guy is obsessed with one chick, it is because he has either limited options to date, or none at all. This puts men into a complete scarcity mindset, in which he is afraid to lose a girl (even if he has no romantic shot with her), because of a potential scenario where no other women will be around if she leaves.

That needs to change. Social scarcity can either be romantic or through having a lack of friends or some sort of expanded social circle of friends/acquaintances.

What does this do to improve your perception? Having more women available to date and more people vying for your time and attention creates demand.  When plenty of girls are interested in a guy, then, other girls tend to become interested…even if they already turned him down or friend zoned him.

I’ve had this happen with ex-girlfriends a lot, who hadn’t shown the slightest interest in me, after the breakup. That is until, they saw me out on the town with other women giving me attention. It didn’t even have to be women that I was dating. It could’ve been friends or random groups of women I had just met socially on the same night, my ex-girlfriends would suddenly perk up and start to pay attention.

They didn’t care about me, until they saw others paying attention to me. Once that happened, it’s like a mix of jealousy or reevaluation, to see if she missed something special when she knew me before. Yes, you can know someone for years, and just a simple shift in how you socialize can make them change how they view you.

This can be hard to pull off but it is extremely effective.

 

Mental

The third area to focus on is the mental side of things. This can be work related to confidence, verbal skills, getting rid of negative thought patterns, and just developing one’s personality in general.

As I’ve said, this is the most powerful aspect that a man can employ in order to attract women. A guy who has a desirable personality, confidence, etc. can cut through all of the usual social/physical barriers that usually makes it more difficult for him to get women.

People notice when someone’s life outlook, personality, and general mental well being has shifted. This can be especially true when it shifts towards the positive.

In terms of getting out of the friend zone, this mostly means getting rid of the neediness, butt hurt, and other negative aspects the guy is bringing to the interaction which is destroying the ability for any physical attraction to be sparked.

Immediate things that can be done, are self evaluations about negative thought patters one may have, meditation, reading to gain perspective on life, becoming less egocentric, and letting go trying to control the outcome of things.

 

Wrapping Up

Getting out of the friend zone with a girl can be a long and difficult process but it can be done.

In order to pull it off, a man has to be able to shift the perception of himself, to one that is more conducive to being desirable. Begging, pleading, or trying to logic or ‘friendship’ your way into having her become attracted simply doesn’t work.

Also, what’s been done up to this point, hasn’t worked either. So, the situation calls for a complete shift in strategy. One in which, the man becomes an attractive romantic candidate, by shattering the old preconceived notions about himself.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get an Ex-Boyfriend Back After a Bad Breakup

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Some relationships just sort of peter out. Others, are quite amicable, and both parties go their separate ways without much issue. Then…there are those that are long, drag em’ out affairs, where the former pair are simply furious with one another. These bad break ups, can take quite a toll on one emotionally, but if you still wanted to get back with your ex-boyfriend, is there actually a chance of it happening? Or is it simply too late?

 

 

Is It Too Late?

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So, there is never a 100% accurate way of determining whether or not a broken relationship can be salvaged. When dealing with human beings, there is always the variables of how they feel and how they personally react when facing certain situations. Some people, have a hard time moving on, while others are really efficient at cutting people out of their lives. In other words, once they’re done, they’re done for good.

The best that one can do is to try and determine the odds of getting back together based on the circumstances of the end of the relationship and general trends among people. As such, the more brutal or nasty that a break up was, often the worse the odds are for getting back together.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

That being said, it will depend on the other person’s mindset and what they want from their lives moving forward.

There are certain factors that are obvious when trying to determine if it is still salvageable, such as:

  • Who initiated the break up? If you dumped him, the odds are better (generally speaking)
  • Was cheating or some other serious betrayal involved? If so, it gets a lot more difficult to rebuild any level of trust.
  • Is there still communication (even if it isn’t always pleasant)?
  • Time since break up.
  • What were the underlying causes of the split?

Those are just a sampling of things that could contribute to the overall odds that are coming into play here. Again, it’s never perfect to determine if things will be successful, but we can certainly gauge the potential.

Is it ever really too late? In a sense, no. BUT it doesn’t mean that the situation cannot be extremely dire in terms of the odds of a reconciliation.

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Do You Really Want Him Back?

Now, I know the impulsive answer to the above question is, “Yes, of course I do!”.  However, the post break up time period can be really tricky to know exactly what we want. Emotions are running high and the replay of what went right and what went wrong with the relationship are on a near continuous loop within our minds.

With all of these feelings and thoughts stirred up, it gets really murky as to what the correct path is sometimes. This is especially true when a relationship ends badly. I mean, if both parties cordially agreed upon the break up, it can be easy to deal with the aftermath. BUT, when things get nasty, what comes next is often a confusing whirlwind.

What I’m saying is, don’t just go into this process asking yourself, if you can get him back. Also, consider the outcome of if you do get him back. Would things be better beyond just the immediate relief of the negative emotions that come after a break up? What would actually change in this new version of the relationship versus the previous one that ended so poorly?

This is where to old saying, be careful what you wish for, is applicable. You might just get him back and then what? Where is it going? What do you actually want from a relationship? Can the relationship with him actually supply that? If not, what are you expecting a renewed relationship to provide? Or are you just making decisions based on your current emotions and might choose a different path, once your mind has cleared a bit?

Really take the time to figure this part out, if you haven’t already done so. This isn’t a rash decision to be made on a whim, you can take the time and choose what the best course of action to take in your life is.

 

Get Yourself Together

If the break up was recent (within 2 months or so), there probably should still be a period of time in which you just allow yourself to heal. Again, emotions are still going crazy at this point, and the physical and psychological effects associated with a break up are real and quite raw.

During this period where you will be away from one another, take the time to focus on yourself and figure out what direction you want to take your life in, if that’s something you need to take care of.

Even little things, like working out and socializing can have real immediate benefits to how this time period goes. Begin to explore new things or consider if you want to take your life in an entirely new direction.

There is always the possibility that the relationship is done for good. It sucks, but it does happen to just about everybody. Times change and people change. That doesn’t mean, however, that we should just give up on ourselves and lament that things will never ‘get better’. Hogwash.

Here are some posts that deal with this:

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What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Says She Never Loved Me…Really?

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Things get really intense during the time after a break up. Sometimes, things are said which really cut deep and hurt badly. One fairly common thing that gets said, is that, one partner never truly loved the other. When an ex-girlfriend says this, it certainly packs a punch. We start to question, how someone that we spent so much time with and assured us of their love, could actually say this sort of thing. Did she mean it? Is she just trying to piss me off? Let’s take a bit of a closer look at this situation and try to sort things out.

 

 

Does She Mean It?

Short answer: maybe.

On the one hand, yes, an ex-girlfriend could seriously never loved the guy that she was dating. She may have been fond of him or just stuck around for other reasons. Saying, ‘I love you’, during a relationship may have just been a way to get by and keep things going. There are some people who are either incapable of loving anyone or can love someone but will still be in long-term relationships with people they don’t actually love.

Another possibility is that the ex-girlfriend really did love the guy and is just acting spiteful during the post-break up period. This is just trying to elicit a response and hurt feelings. That’s a pretty shitty move, but the not ever loving the other person trope, is a complete lie.

The whole love thing can be really tricky at times and a downright ugly business. Hell, there are plenty of cases where a woman marries and has kids with a man that she doesn’t love, just to extract resources and her real sexual desires get met by other men she has affairs with.

I’m not trying to scare anyone off of dating or anything like that, but there always will be a certain percentage of the population, who simply aren’t great people when you get down to it.

 

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

How to Deal With It?

Love that isn’t reciprocated by the other party, hurts really bad. However, as men, we cannot continually chase these types of women and try to make them feel something that they do not. The best thing that can be done is to move forward without them in your life.

No guy likes hearing that we really weren’t the one that she was looking for. It makes the whole relationship feel like a sham and it sucks to hear that you may have been the only one who was fully invested.

Whether she meant that she never loved you or not, is actually irrelevant. In either case, one can get out of a bad relationship that would’ve only gotten worse as time went on. At the very least, you are dealing with someone who want to exact an emotional toll on you, or at the worst someone who is unfeeling and wants to use you.

Remember, there are always other options to date. Billions of women on this planet and even if only 1% like you, that leaves more chicks than you could ever possibly meet or date.  We all get burned by at least one during our dating careers and it’s really best to just deal with the emotions, loneliness, etc. and to mentally let it all go eventually. We cannot let one person have such a huge negative influence in our lives.

If she wants to be miserable and spiteful, let her be that way. You, on the other hand, don’t have to involve yourself. You can focus on your life and your goals and keep improving your situation. If others want to try and hurt your feelings, learning to let go of those negative emotions and not reacting to their provocations, really is the best strategy. Trying to emotionally hurt someone and then having to watch them not have any reaction to it, is really frustrating for the person using emotional manipulation. It’s like a boomerang effect on their spitefulness.

Forgiving them or not is a matter of personal choice. The main thing is to mentally let it go for your own future well being. Things can absolutely start to feel normal again with time, as long as one doesn’t dwell on the past and their feelings of anger or resentment.

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Can You Get Her Back If She Didn’t Really Mean It?

Sure, you can. The question is do you actually want to? It can take a lot of time and energy to fix a busted relationship, so, it’s not always worth it. This can especially be true for this situation. If someone is saying that they don’t love you, specifically to hurt, then why would a relationship with them be something you’d still want?

Now, if it’s the case that you hurt her first and she responded with that, then I’d say the odds of a reconciliation are much better. Though, there will still probably be plenty of trust that needs to be rebuilt.

If she truly meant it, then move on with your life. Recover from the pain and let it go.

If she didn’t really mean it, then it’s your own personal call, as to what you want in your life. There are a lot of variables and questions, that you need to answer, in order to figure out whether she is worth it or not. Again, if it was really a verbal battle between the two of you, she might have just said that in the heat of the moment and didn’t actually mean it.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Ex-Girlfriend Back After Pushing Her Away

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There are times when you have broken up with a girl, felt fine about it for months, and may have even moved on to some extent with your life. Then, there is the pang of loneliness or even nostalgia about the past. Did I make a mistake? Even after feeling like you have moved on from things and pushing an ex-girlfriend away, there is something inside you that implores you to get her back. Is this a good idea? Can it be done? Let’s take a closer look at things, once one starts to regret letting an ex-girl go.

 

 

Why and What Changed?

So, you pushed her away and now want your ex-girlfriend to come back? The first question that you need to honestly answer is why you did so?

Secondly, what has changed so much that you now need to do a reversal?

A complete 180 in the course of what you wanted after a break up does require some serious inquiry. Ask yourself, what were the fundamental reasons you no longer wanted her around and what were the major flaws in the relationship?

A change of heart can be a good thing, but not if it’s based solely on feelings and nothing concrete. Meaning, if the relationship wasn’t workable before, why is it going to succeed now? If you didn’t want her two months ago, why would you want her to come back?

Feeling lonely, while a powerful driver, is not a good enough basis for a relationship. As once you satisfy those lonely feelings you must contend with the reality that this person, may not be the best fit for your life moving forward. Yes, she may have been great at one point in time, but the two of you might have changed enough to no longer make that true.

Be honest about what you truly want with your life and with a relationship moving forward. What are her flaws that drove you away in the first place? What are the negatives about the relationship? Realistically, can they be resolved or are the beyond repair?

You had your reasons for no longer wanting to be together with your ex-girlfriend, get back to those reasons. Figure out how legitimate they are. Try to approach things with as little emotion and as objectively as you possibly can. This will help you find out if you truly do want to get back together or if you’re just dealing with the emotional aftermath of no longer being together. Relationships can be like addictions and that withdrawal period will almost always stir up a lot of emotional confusion. Don’t make a long-term commitment based on this emotions alone.

Win ex back now

How Did You Push Her Away?

Once one has determined whether or not a true reconciliation is what is wanted and decides against moving on, it is important to consider in what manner she was pushed away.

Was she simply ignored? Let down gently? Was the breakup messy? Was cheating involved? Have you already been dating other girls?

All of these questions and more can play into the odds of whether or not she will actually come back. Even then and even if she forgives, she still may not want to come back any longer. Some people will put up with almost any level of rejection, while others are ready to let go of the relationship, almost immediately.

If it was a clean break and she still seems to be sniffing around or is in contact with you, then, it is usually a much better scenario to start from. It becomes a whole hell of a lot easier to convince someone who wants to come back into the fold to do so, versus someone who holds a high level of bitterness about how things ended.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You Can Fess Up to a Mistake but Don’t Grovel

Once one gets to the point where he knows he wants to get back together and knows how much of a challenge (or a fair estimate) it is going to be to start things back up again, there needs to be a strategy as to how to go about things.

Following the No Contact Rule is a good start. However, it also depends on the circumstances. If the break up was really recent, then following a period of a 4-6 weeks of No Contact can be a really good idea, as it lets the raw feelings settle down.

If it’s been a while and there hasn’t really any been any communication between the two parties, then tacking on a period of No Contact really doesn’t have much effect, and one can move forward with trying to get back together.

One of the main mistakes that guys tend to make, is doing the whole pouring your heart out and begging for forgiveness thing. It’s a highly popular trope on TV and in movies. Much like most dating advice seen in cinema, it doesn’t really work, and can actually backfire.

If you pushed her away by dumping her, you’re coming from a position of strength. Why grovel and beg, it only makes one appear less attractive.

If you pushed her away by being needy, acting even needier isn’t going to help matters.

Avoid going that route, you can admit to mistakes, if they are brought up by her once contact is established but don’t go out of your way to beg for clemency.

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Regret Cheating On You

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There are plenty of relationships out there that have been doomed by cheating. When one finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with someone else, this creates a world of hurt and strong emotions. Naturally, after a period of time, the man wants to know that his now ex-girlfriend will regret that decision and feel bad about losing what she once had. So, what’s the best way to make an ex-girlfriend feel pangs of regret? Should you even bother?

 

 

What’s the Goal?

Okay, you’ve been cheated on, and now you have the notion in your head that you need to make your ex-girlfriend regret doing so. May I raise the question as to why you want to make this happen?

I mean, I get it, it can feel good to show someone up or have an ‘I told you so’ moment…but what is it actually going to accomplish for you?

Cheating in relationships happens a lot. Trust me. From both my personal experience and from running this website, cheating is not a rare occurrence and you’re definitely not alone in your feelings towards it.

However, why do you honestly want to direct your life’s energy towards getting some real or perceived feelings of revenge or superiority against someone? She showed you her true colors by cheating, which got you out of a relationship that was going to break bad eventually. Now you have the freedom to pursue what you really want.

I know, I know, telling a guy who has been cheated on not to want to make his ex feel massive regret about it, probably isn’t going to work. BUT I will say that, the way to make her regret cheating is actually the same thing you should be doing after a break up and throughout your life anyway.

 

Success is the Best Revenge

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

There is this really strange psychological dynamic between the two parties after a break up occurs. It is a notion that someone has to ‘win’ the break up. Meaning, one person has to do better in terms of their lives and/or the person they decide to date next. A lot of women refer to this as ‘upgrading’ to another man, who they perceives as being of higher value than their ex-boyfriend.

I cannot even fully describe how much I hate this concept and yet how much I have to encounter it. In my view, the broken relationship is like a time capsule of the period of time in which it lasted. Yes, they may be a horrible fit for you now, but they were once great (in at lest some aspects). Would I want to now date girls that I dated in college? Hell no, but they were a good fit for me back then. People change and I don’t have the need to hold a grudge against them for it, even when it ended poorly.

Back to the stirring up of regret in an ex. Now, because people have the need to ‘win’ the break up, the best way to make the regret or get revenge or whatever is to improve your life and future prospects beyond what they thought you were capable of.

Understand that people will always form judgments about you and who they think you are and have the potential to become. When one doesn’t conform to those expectations, it is a blow to the other person’s ego, because they were wrong. If they could be wrong about that, then there is a good chance that they were wrong about cheating or destroying the relationship with you. It’s kind of like selling a stock, right before it triples in value, and then having to deal with the fact you missed out on all of the upside.

So, in order to stir up feelings of regret in her, you should focus on your life and goals. Go out and fucking crush it. Get your career and business going into high gear. Get in better shape. Get more dating options. Work on your self-esteem and feel great everyday.

People are naturally comparative. Most likely, she’ll pretty much be doing the same things a year from now, and her life will seem stagnant when looking toward yours. Don’t think she’ll notice, if your life is amazing without her? Of course she will.

Now, with this being said, I still think you should let go of the idea of wanting to make her regret cheating. Accept it and move forward. Focus your energy on you and not trying to make her feel something. Simply as a byproduct of doing the things you want to improve in your life, she’ll notice and feel regret anyway and you won’t have to carry around all the negativity.

 

A Quick Note

It is indeed possible that she already feels massive regret and guilt about cheating. Even when it appears she doesn’t, that might just be a front, and deep down she knows that it was wrong. People make mistakes and while you don’t have to forgive them, there’s no need to waste your time and try to make an ex-girlfriend express regret either. Try to close that chapter of your life and don’t let her come back, even if she wants to fix things. The short-term of getting cheated on sucks but you don’t need to let it dictate your long-term future or self-worth.

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Feel Confident After Being Dumped by Girlfriend

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Getting dumped by a woman is a complete shock to one’s psychological and emotional systems. Not only does it bring one down and create a sense of longing for ‘better’ times, it can also raise doubts internally, about a man’s self-worth or how confident he should feel in his dating life going forward. Obviously, there are differing levels of impact on confidence. For some guys, it’s just a mere setback, while others experience complete destruction. A guy can also experience different hits to his confidence based on what girl in particular broke up with him and how long the relationship lasted. So, while we all know how it feels to have our confidence devastated post-breakup, how does a man begin to have confidence again? Does one need to start from scratch and build it back up or is there another way?

 

The Fundamentals

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The absolutely fundamental problem that most men have with their confidence is that it is almost entirely based on external factors.

What this means is that, when things are going well in life or when you had success or gotten a woman, you feel great. Really, you should feel great, as there are certainly pleasant experiences in life.

The problem comes into play when we tend to tie in these positive emotions into who we are (or more precisely, who we perceive ourselves to be). So, if we have social or business success, we feel good and then identify that positive boost to our self-esteem with being successful. Obviously, this creates a cycle of needing positive events or external validation to continue to have this level of confidence. Plus, whenever we get a negative experience (like being dumped), it immediately crushes us.

So, our lives then become this roller coaster of self-image. We ascend during the perceived good times and then come down with the full force of gravity during the perceived bad times.

If you get stuck in this paradigm, the only way out of it (and create confidence), is by chasing positive experiences. But as we’ve all experienced, it’s not a very stable way of going about things, and the lows can be extraordinary tough to get through.

 

Coming Off of a Crash

It’s getting closer to 10 years now, since I had my last major crash in confidence. In fact, it was the worst one I ever experienced, and forced me to have to change the way I dealt with confidence, self-image, etc.

There was no other way around it. I was highly depressed, could barely function in life, and began thinking of ending it all. I wrote about this experience in my book, Game without Games, and detailed how things fell apart for me.

I had grown up without very high self-esteem, which also meant few social and romantic opportunities, which fed into the low self-esteem. Later, I learned game (how to pick up women), and started to experience a lot of success. For a while, I felt amazing, my confidence got this huge boost based almost entirely on getting positive external validation from women.

Naturally, this wasn’t sustainable confidence. It was in fact, a complete fraud, there was no actual confidence. I learned this the hard way during the crash, when I had gotten dumped by two consecutive women, was broke, had no real future, and was almost flunking out of college.

For months, I sunk lower and lower, until I completely bottomed out during winter break that year. It was during these dark times, that I began to understand the problems with the popular notions of what confidence is.

Reading Stoic philosophy books, eventually allowed me to pull out of the negativity spiral and sort of reset my brain. The depression/sadness really wasn’t there anymore but for over a year, I felt very little emotion, and essentially rebuilt every aspect of my life. This metamorphosis shaped how I now approach confidence and has allowed me to let go of all of that old emotional baggage.

 

The False Internal Confidence

So, chasing external validation in order to gain confidence is a constant up and down experience. In fact, this is what gets us to this low point after a break up. This then leads to the other common aspect of trying to boost one’s confidence: having a high opinion of oneself in your own mind.

Now, while having a positive view of yourself is obviously a better option than having a low opinion, it is still flawed and can become quite out of touch with reality. I’m fairly sure that each of us has encountered someone, who has utterly convinced themselves of their own ‘greatness’.

They’ve amped up their own self-worth in their mind to unreal heights and then export that to the external world…which gets labeled as confidence, arrogance, egotism, etc. This method leads to a delusional sort of interaction with the world, in which any negative feedback or criticism is dismissed or ignored.

To me, basing your confidence on external sources is like constructing your confidence into a class mirror. It is easily shattered and difficult to pick up the pieces. Going the internal delusion route is like building a brick wall of confidence. Sure, it’s harder to penetrate, but it can still be busted through if the feedback you’re experiencing is bad enough.

 

Moving to Acceptance and True Confidence

I think that many people misconstrue self-confidence or social confidence with that of a skill based activity. We say that you must ‘build’ self-confidence, as if it is something that needs to be constructed, instead of being inherent in who we are.

For instance, if someone were to hand me a bow and arrow and told me to hit a target, I would not be confident in the outcome of that event. I might get lucky and pull off a positive result but I don’t have the requisite skills to have a high level of confidence. However, this use of the word confidence is not the same, as the one we are discussing here. As such, the prescription for improving confidence should not be entirely the same.

Technique training and practice would solve my archery practice, but not help me be at ease with my internal self. This is true at least past a certain point, as their may be some learning and practice required to truly internalize and make a shift on how self-confidence is viewed.

For me, I boiled down my lack of self-confidence to a non-acceptance of what is. Meaning, I was always chasing or trying to live up to a narrative of what me and my life needed to be instead of just allowing it to be. So, if I didn’t have a girlfriend, I felt like a loser or like I wasn’t ‘enough’.

I realized more and more how approaching my life in this way was having absolutely terrible results. Why in the hell did I need to become something in order to feel normal? Why was it that when I reached a certain level of social or financial success, I could still feel inadequate? Why should I keep believing this narrative in my mind about what I need to do to feel confidence, if it keeps leading me astray? What if I were to stop following these old ideas and just accept the fact that I am enough as is and don’t need to keep chasing some vague ideal self?

Learning to accept each moment of my life as it came about was a huge and life altering shift in perspective. I no longer needed anything to feel confident because I just trusted that I was already enough. Sure, I could make my life more enjoyable and pleasurable by having a girlfriend or getting a lot of dates or making money or whatever…but they were no longer requirements that I had to fulfill in order to be content with my self.

It’s a freeing experience because once you accept that you’re enough, you become free to explore the world around you without reservation. Criticism and rejection don’t make you feel low or terrible about life because there isn’t an attachment to some narrative in your head about what you’re ‘supposed’ to be.

You simply exist and can determine whether criticism is legit or if it is simply someone projecting their problems on to you or trying to hurt your feelings. You no longer internalize these supposed negative experiences, as there isn’t a self-image or narrative that you need to protect.

And, no, it doesn’t make you lazy or stop striving in life. On the contrary, I’ve gotten better results in every area of my life since the shift, because I can be completely honest with myself. I don’t have to deny reality in order to spare my feelings. If things aren’t going well with women or in social interactions, I can make adjustments to how I approach things, and not fly into a depressive episode because “nobody likes me”. It’s more of an “Oh, I should probably speak slower and more clearly in future conversations” or “Try to listen more and be more empathetic with others”.

It’s an amazing way to live because you start to get good at the things you do at a much faster rate.

 

The Post-Breakup

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

The unique part of the time period after getting dumped, is having to deal with the strong emotions. These are going to be there no matter what, since our brain likes to develop an addiction like attachment to our girlfriends, and so we experience these intense withdrawals.

While the physical sensations will still be there, we don’t have to follow the negative thought patterns that seem to accompany the intense emotions. I always like to disrupt the negative thought as it arises and then question its validity. Why am I thinking this way? What purpose it is serving? Is it only reinforcing this low confidence narrative?

Things can become much easier to deal with once you can recognize thoughts as simply thoughts and not take them as some sort of gospel truth. Our mind can lead us down rabbit holes and have us endlessly repeat the past, even when it serves no actual learning purpose…it’s like a TV show playing on a loop, at some point it’s been enough and time to move on.

Here are some posts about the post-breakup period:

 

Where to Start?

In order to let go and accept things as they are, one has to be able to constantly recognize and let go of the thought patterns which help cause poor confidence. Daily meditation is the best way that I have found to pull myself out of the internal narrative and view things from a more objective point of view.

The daily shift in my mindset is what allowed me to really make the change in perspective permanent and then no longer need the constant validation to derive some confidence. There are plenty of guided meditations on YouTube and other platforms that can get you started. It can take some time to fully take hold and shift one’s perspective, but it can be totally worth it in the long-term.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Over an Ex-Girlfriend You Have to See Everyday

Published by:

The time after a break up is obviously pretty tough. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be online searching topics about it, and instead be watching some random YouTube clips. It can be doubly hard to deal with, when you have to see an ex-girlfriend on a regular basis. Sometimes, we dated someone that we work with, go to school with, or have a lot of common social connections and avoidance becomes super difficult. Fear not, I am going to reveal the main tool that I use to not only deal with having to see someone each day, but even getting to the point where it causes zero bother. Oh and it helps in the rest of your social life, as well.

 

 

The Object vs. The Concept

Why is it painful or aggravating to have to see an ex-girlfriend all of the time after a break up?

Is it due to her actual physical presence being around you? Nope.

It has nothing at all to do with her. Rather, it has everything to do with how you view her in your mind.

Think about it. If you suffered some sort of amnesia or short-term memory loss, an ex-girlfriend could sit right next to you, and it would have none of the same effect that it currently does. It once again, has nothing to do with her, and is all in how your mind is perceiving and making judgments of her and the past relationship.

This is a huge breakthrough to come upon because you no longer have to ‘get away’ from an ex, in order to feel good about your day to day life. You can see them at work or school or socially and be completely indifferent about it.

What you actually must do is to learn to let go off the conceptions that you have of her and the attachment to the now defunct relationship. Once this is achieved, you get some serious mental freedom, and zero fucks given if she is around or not.

 

Letting Go of the Concept

A lot of other people will suggest that you distract yourself or turn your attention towards someone else. To me, that doesn’t really help at all. You then, just allow attachments to grow for another girl or you just bury feelings in work or some other distraction.

I have found that the only true way to let go is through meditation techniques. Also, you can supplement this with readings in Stoic philosophy, if you really choose to do so.

People inexperienced with mindfulness meditation and breathing techniques can often not see how such a practice would benefit them. It doesn’t have to involve any religious aspect or mysticism. Meditation can be used to clear one’s mind, let go of negative emotions, and stop the stream of thoughts that can make a guy feel trapped that he has to see his ex-girlfriend.

Not only that, meditation can begin to effect every other part of your life in a positive way. For me, it allowed me to fully let go of my anger issues, depressed feelings, and always having to compare myself to other people.

Socially, it allowed me to stop feeling so self-conscious and helped tremendously when approaching/picking up women. When you meditate on a regular basis, you reach such clear and vibrant states of mind, it becomes very difficult to become flustered by life. If you can play it cool around women, their attraction towards you will often go through the roof.

You stop having the same level of attachment to things or thoughts. You no longer feel as if you need to chase or follow your thoughts down a rabbit hole. In terms of having to see an ex-girlfriend, this means a reduction of: worrying about what she thinks of you, reminiscing about old times, feeling desperate longing to get back together, etc.

Again, I know a lot of people who have preconceptions about meditation or don’t get why it is helpful…but it can be an absolute game-changer. It can take time to properly learn how to focus one’s mind, so stick with it, and the benefits will come.

 

Get Started

Since I can’t really teach you directly, how to meditate. I am instead going to post a number of videos that I’ve used and continue to refer back to. Using guided mediations can be useful at first, like training wheels, until you become comfortable doing everything on your own.

The great thing about mediation techniques is that they can be done at any time, eventually. You have to first learn how to do it, but as your practice deepens, you can bring yourself into the present moment even in a loud/crowded room. I do brief meditations to focus myself all the time, even when in a bar, and I have to go approach some woman that I’m interested in.

I literally cannot stress enough to you, how much making mediation a regular practice, made my social anxieties drop away. This has been my greatest freedom.

I am going to start off with the first two videos. They are short and I use them back to back, when I can’t seem to focus myself. Both techniques start about midway through each video, so, the actual meditation/breathing techniques should last 12-15 minutes combined.

Start off doing these twice a day, if possible. Either once in the morning or at night. Or right before you have to see the ex or go out and socialize. If not, just find time when you can do it, and be consistent.

 

I cant embed the second video, but here is the YouTube link: Kim Eng Guided Breathing Meditation

 

Both of the first two videos are short and allow a letting go to take place by focusing on the breath.  Once comfortable and seeing progress with those two videos, you can move on to a longer meditation session (or just do one of these later in the day, if you have time).

 

 

There you have it. These should get one started on the path and allow for a significant reduction in the obsessive thoughts, if not an outright freedom from the mental anguish of seeing an ex-girlfriend on a daily basis. If you can change or alleviate the thoughts about a person, their presence around you will have very little negative effect. I’ve used this for many years now, with amazing personal success…so hopefully it helps others too.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

I Want My Ex Back…but He Doesn’t Want Me

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A break up has taken place, one party was either dumped or did the dumping, and now the former relationship is in complete disrepair. That’s fine, assuming both parties want to move on and go their own ways. But what happens when you want your ex-boyfriend back and he doesn’t feel the same way? How does one approach this situation? Can you make him want to come back into the fold?

 

Is That What You Want?

The absolute foundation of any pursuit of an ex has to begin with the questions of: Is this really what you want? Is it actually worth pursuing?

The loneliness and the harsh realities of life after a breakup, can often have people’s emotions reeling, and having them want to do anything in order to get back together with their ex and ‘fix’ what ails them. It’s not always an easy process to get back together with an ex-boyfriend, and it can definitely take some time to pull off. As such, one has to be sure that this is truly what they want in their lives, and not just act out of the pure raw emotion that stems from a break up.

There can be an addictive aspect to relationships. One expects their former partner to be around because they have been for a long time and once they no longer around, it feels really bad. It’s an emptiness, a longing.

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The thing of it is, this feeling can still be found within you, even if you weren’t 100% compatible with someone. I’ve gotten dumped by girls before, been completely torn up about it for months, only to later on realize how truly lucky I was to get out of that relationship. None of those ladies would’ve been the right fit for me on a long-term basis. BUT it still hurt really bad when it happened.

That’s one of the reasons that the No Contact Rule after a break up is so effective and important, it provides clarity. With enough time apart, the emotions can subside, to the point where you can make a rational choice about what exactly it is you want in your life. Sometimes, you find out that he isn’t it and other times you can figure out that reconciliation is something that is worth attempting.
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Why Doesn’t He Want To Get Back Together?

Another factor to consider is why in particular doesn’t he want to be in a relationship. Was it something specific that took place that ended the relationship? Or is he just burned out or no longer ‘into’ you?

It can be a good idea to roughly consider what the odds are that the break up can be mended. Look for some of the more common signs that a relationship can be fixed or that a guy would consider coming back. If none are apparently present, than the odds of getting back together are substantially lower (not always impossible but lower).

What are some other indicators that lower the likelihood of fixing the broken relationship?

  • Cheating- especially if you were the one straying
  • Is he dating other girls? Is there one in particular?
  • There are other huge compatibility problems that stem from the relationship
  • He has shown no real interest in doing anything aside from moving on with his life.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ remedy for determining if a relationship is 100% salvageable. Sometimes, the odds seem long and the ex comes back. Other times, it looks like a good shot, but they’re just ready to move forward alone. Take a look at your own situation and determine whether or not it’s likely and if you actually want to pursue attempting to heal the broken relationship.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

To Be Chased, One Has to Stop Chasing

One common mistake after a breakup that sooooo many people do, is being constantly trying to contact, be available, and begging their ex.

Guess what? If that worked, then literally everyone would be back with their exes. Yet, here we are with people still continually falling into the same trap.

The first step to turning things around is to go No Contact for a period of time, as mentioned above. This usually lasts for about 30 days. The purpose of following the No Contact rule is to allow the emotions to subside BUT also to get yourself to stop trying to hit an ex up all of the time.

It’s hard to make someone think that you’re desirable again, when they know that they can have you back at the drop of the dime. A certain level of scarcity makes things appear more valuable to the human mind and familiarity can have to opposite effect.

Won’t someone forget about you if you don’t remind them that you exist?

NO! I’ve gone no contact with exes and had them contact me weeks or months later…and these were girls who dumped me!

Why? Many times, life after a breakup doesn’t go so well, and down the line the realization that they may have lost something important in their lives, sets in. They can often think that the grass is greener but learn quickly this single life, ain’t always what you think it might be.

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What’s he Coming Back To?

If a breakup took place, that means that the old relationship had problems. It can also mean in this scenario, that he’s no longer feeling you like he once was.

So, even if begging him today actually worked, what has changed? Meaning, how long until the reconciled relationship fell apart again? What’s different both in terms of the relationship itself and you as a person?

How are the problems going to be addressed?

What are some things that you need to work on?

Self-improvement can be a huge step in this process. Not only in case he does eventually want to come back but also for your life, if you decided that it’s time to move on.

This doesn’t mean that you have to change everything about yourself in order to appeal to him. However, becoming an overall more well-rounded, stable, and attractive person can do wonders for how you are perceived by him (and other potential suitors).

I remember when I first got into really good shape and how more women took notice of me.  When that happened, other girls that weren’t interested also took notice (as well as an ex). I didn’t want that particular ex back, so, it went nowhere…but the spark was reignited.

Now, this of course was all a very superficial change, but it got attention. Sometimes, that’s all it takes, but I always like to improve every aspect in my life post-breakup.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

What to Do When Your Ex-Girlfriend Says She Needs Space

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One of the most common phrases or excuses that is used during break ups is one partner telling the other that, “I need space”. Now, this can be quite confusing for the guy who is on the receiving end of this phrase and who is still hoping that his ex-girlfriend will come back to him. A person saying that they ‘need space’ can actually have many different meanings depending on who it is saying it. So, the question begs, what should I do when my ex asks for this time apart from one another?

 

The Multitude of Meanings

What does it mean to need space? On the very surface level, it can obviously mean that exactly…leave her the hell alone for awhile.

However, it can also mean that they just want space so that they can make a clean break easier to deal with, that they want to see someone else (either in particular or find someone new), or even that they just want to try out some new things in their lives, without having to worry about their now ex-boyfriend snooping around.

Needing space can be a good way to let someone go easier, as she doesn’t have to see you all of the time and keep dredging up those old emotions, again and again.

But again, it can just mean she needs time to sort things out in her mind and life. So, don’t freak out about it. Time apart will lead to clarity.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Does This Mean That I Should Keep Talking to Her, If She’s Trying to Make It Easier to Let Me Go?

No! Despite what she may have meant, you have no way of know what she meant exactly. As such, the best course of action is to take her at her word and give her space. Constantly begging her to come back or to even just talk to you is not only annoying but it is also inherently unattractive. It makes you seem like you have no life or thought independent of her, which is unappealing to her, regardless if it is true or not.

Her needing space is healthy. She needs to stop being sick of being around you and work through her life/emotions. Let her be.

 

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Will She Ever Come Back?

There’s no guarantee either way. Individual circumstances may vary and while she may still love you, she might not want to be together with you any longer. It’s just the way the relationship game works. It can be almost impossible sometimes to win back a person who has truly fallen out of love. However, there are other relationships which end for other reasons and those can have a decent chance of being rekindled.

While the odds vary depending on the circumstances involved, they can be further altered by the actions that you take post-breakup. So, that means if she wants time to herself and space to herself, that is something you have to respect. Not only for her own benefit but also for your own and whether or not things may eventually worked out between the two of you.

 

What to Do Once You Give Her Space

Her having space is not a punishment to you. It is an opportunity for the both of you to get out from under the baggage of the now defunct relationship. This isn’t a time to pine over her and obsess over the notion of the two of you getting back together.

Instead, utilize this time to focus on yourself and your own interests. With time apart, it isn’t uncommon to find out that in reality, you don’t actually want to get back with your ex-girlfriend. Many times, guys discover that most of what they were ‘missing’ about her, was just the powerful emotions that get stirred up in the post-breakup period.

Take this period to follow the No Contact Rule. Give her that space but also give it to yourself and focus on getting yourself together emotionally. Prepare to move on from the relationship mentally, even if a reconciliation is still a possibility in the future. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

What Comes After No Contact?

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”. He also recommends a period of no contact with an ex and also shows how to both work through the time apart and how to decide what to do next. If you want further help working out things or really do want to make things work with an ex, this is something you’ll want to check out.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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