It isn’t enough for you to want somebody back after a breakup, they have to want to come back. Getting someone to want to do something, especially an ex-girlfriend, is no small order. She currently might not like you, might not be talking to you, or frankly thinks that you are now boring or a waste of her time. Before we delve into some tactics that can perhaps change her mind about you, I just want to again reiterate that some relationships are really over, no matter what one tries to do in order to save or restart them. It’s just one of those things we have to deal with in life that isn’t pleasant to accept.
I See No Changes
When a relationship ends, the one thing that seems like a bad idea to me is staying exactly the same. Not only does not improving yourself make it more difficult to move on from the breakup, it also makes it harder to get your ex’s attention back. Think about it, why would she start paying attention to you again, if you are exactly the same when she left or like in many cases, getting worse?
Now, making positive changes in your life is not only about getting your ex-girlfriend back, it is also about making your life what you want it to be and to be able to attract other potential women in the future. These changes can take many forms but I first want to focus on a few basic ones that are easiest to implement.
The physical component of a relationship is a huge factor in making attraction work. This is an easy place to start because physical appearance is the first thing that we notice about people. The amount of muscle, fat, hair, style of clothes, and more…all have a huge effect on how someone gets treated. Don’t believe me? Take a look at how people react to a homeless man versus a handsome and well-groomed man in a suit. It’s like night and day.
If you are a guy who is currently overweight, taking the necessary steps to get into great shape can indeed grab attention from you ex as well as other girls. As someone who started lifting and shredding fat for about a year, I can attest to the fact that these changes make a massive difference in getting the attention of females. Also, because it gives you another thing to focus your attention on, I have found that it can help alleviate some of the loneliness that is felt after a girl leaves.
It doesn’t just have to be about getting into shape (if you already are really fit), you can also change a million other things about your physical appearance (and you may not have to at all, you handsome bastard :D) but doing so is the most obvious and can honestly have a profound impact for some guys.
Another aspect of improvement in the post-breakup period should consist of mental and emotional growth as a person. This type of change isn’t quite as apparent as the physical, however, it can many times address the underlying problems that your girlfriend had with you. Were you prone to anger? Jealous? Emotionally distant? Didn’t give her enough romantic attention?
Obviously, there were reasons for the failure of the relationship, and your time apart from her is the perfect time to consider your part in its demise. In long-term relationships, people can easily grow apart from one another and if it continues unchecked, then a breakup is very likely to happen. If she dumped you, then you must consider the why behind that decision, even if it isn’t comfortable for you to do so. Try to take your emotions out of it and think rationally about why she no longer wanted to be with you.
Many times, it isn’t as a complex of a problem as it might seem at first. For instance, if she wanted to start seeing other guys (or is already), she may have grown tired about your lack of attention towards her or fulfilling her emotional needs or yes, even failing to meet her sexual desires. These issues can manifest themselves in numerous ways but they all usually boil down to something basic that you failed to deliver in the relationship. It always helps to pay attention to what women don’t say directly, paying attention to her body language and what she hints at while you’re together, will often provide huge warning signs that something is amiss in the relationship.
When these sorts of emotions start to pop up in her mind, it is going to be an issue for the two of you being together at some point, if the problems aren’t remedied. She may just want a clean break from you or she may go on to another man who will provide what she is lacking in her life. Either way, when she initiates a break up, it boils down to something that you did or something that you didn’t do, most of the time.
Identifying what you can fix or improve on is the first step towards trying to reconcile at a later time. If you did something to violate her trust (like cheating), then it is going to be a much more difficult road to haul than perhaps something like not giving her enough attention or not appreciating her enough.
You need to figure out what these problems were during the period of no contact, after the breakup…this allows you to get multiple things at once done: get yourself together, give her space, make changes, let her imagination wonder about how you’re handling things, doesn’t allow you to come off as desperate and needy by over-texting, begging, and calling her constantly, etc.
After a period of no contact….about 30 days or so…you should have figured out what the issues were and have an idea as to how you can improve yourself and fix your end of the relationship. Of course, there is still no guarantee that if you change, she will come running back to you. She may, in fact, want to move on with her life and you need to ultimately respect those wishes and get on with your own as well.
If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them. When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.
You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work? There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: