There are some break up situations in which things are cordial and even somewhat friendly between former lovers. There is no hostility and indeed some sort of reverence toward one another that could be very useful if the exes want to get back together. On the other hand, there are other broken relationships in which they really are ‘broken’, in that, one party has an intensely negative attitude towards their former partner. It can manifest into actual hatred or something closely resembling it.
This type of animosity may be short lived anger towards an action on your part or a deep and intense hatred of you as a person. What can one do to save a relationship if their ex-boyfriend seems to hate them?
Situations which are intensely emotional tend to cool off in the long-term. The issue is getting to that long-term mellowing out without completely pushing that person away.
We all have things in our past that at one time really upset us and now when we look back it isn’t a big deal at all. This can be especially true in a breakup scenario because of the addictive quality of love.
I can remember being sad or angry at an ex-girlfriend to the point that it was all thought about for weeks. Fast forward to the present time and I don’t even think about these girls anymore.
It’s a strange thing but time does work wonders if you let it. The key is to not let it drag on too long, to the point which your ex moves on completely. However, bothering them during a period in which they need to work out these intense feelings can also backfire on your aims to get them back.
So, your ex-boyfriend is utterly pissed at you and now you have searched to find out how to deal with this new found hate. On the scale of likelihood of getting one’s ex back, having one hate you is on the lower end of probability. That is, if he actually hates you.
Before you can even attempt to get out of such a bind, you must give him space and time. Meanwhile, you assess your chances of actually turning these feelings positive, or if you even want to.
One’s natural tendency is to keep trying to reach out to, reason with, beg, say you’re sorry to your ex-boyfriend. Thinking that, if you just keep it up, he’ll realize his anger is wrong and come back.
While it is an intuitive thing to do, it isn’t the correct thing to do in most circumstances and can actually push someone away further.
Taking a period of no contact can be beneficial for the both of you, as it allows you to have time to really sort things out and to let emotions settle down a bit. Constantly contacting your ex makes you seem unattractive, desperate, and kind of annoying to your ex…not qualities someone wants in a partner.
No Contact can be a very hard time to get through and trying to resist the urge to talk to them when your are feeling lonely can be brutal. I would usually give it at least a month where we can each be alone and figure out what we want to do with our lives.
During this no contact period, it is important that you work on yourself and any issues you may have caused in the relationship. Think deeply and analyze if you truly want to get him back or if emotions are currently pushing you that way. In time, you may find that the best course to take is to simply move on and start dating other men.
Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.
Yes, I know, it seems like in the heat of the moment that there is no other options beside reconciliation. Though, that’s not really the case.
The more positivity you bring into your mind, and the more time apart, your outlook can change dramatically. Suddenly, you may come to realize that you want something completely different for yourself.
In fact, you might actually not any relationship, at the moment and decide to take your life in another direction.
It is important that we work on ourselves, after breakups, as it not only really helps the healing process; but also, it can give us greater clarity that perhaps we haven’t been living the life we really wanted to. Maybe, our relationship that ended badly, needed to end when it did.
Conversely, you may come to realize that you do indeed want to try and get the ex-boyfriend back. However, one still needs to accept the fact, that it might be gone for good. Always prepare for multiple outcomes, whether you end up back together, or single, or with another man eventually.
What Did You Do To Make Him Hate You?
Your ex may actually hate you or it may just be a passing phase. In any case, what were the causes to set him against you in such a way. Did you cheat on him? This complicates things further and makes getting him back a very low value proposition.
In that type of situation, not only can it be difficult to get him to talk to you, and get him interested in reconciling the relationship. But also, having to go back and create a new relationship, based on trust and forgiveness.
It’s a longer term rehabilitation project, that has to discard older aspects of the failed relationship, and create newer stronger ties.
If you have angered him this much, think about what the issue is and why you did it. Was it a one time thing? Was this a constant or repeated behavior of yours? What have you done to change for the better? Can you even change this for him?
If cheating was the case, are you prepared to not see any other men for good? Is that honestly what you want, exclusivity with your ex?
It’s fine, if you actually just want to go out and see a bunch of different men, just be honest with yourself about it. Don’t try to drag your ex back into that situation, just because you currently have intense feelings, about the breakup.
If you cannot control those lustful impulses around other guys now, will you be able to in the future? If being monogamous, is what you want, you will need to be able to deal with these feelings when they arise. Otherwise, you’ll repeat the same mistakes again.
There are obviously things that you need to work on for him to consider taking you back in the future. What are these issues you need to correct? Figure out what they are and then come up with a plan to change them.
Literally, think about what all of your potential issues are. What did he really dislike about your role in the relationship? Be extremely honest, but don’t beat yourself up. What are your faults (we all have them) and what can you do to begin to move in a new direction?
Does He Actually Hate You, Can He Love You Again?
Sometimes, with enough time apart from each other, he may have calmed down and be willing to have an open dialogue with you.
Other times, he may not ever want to come back no matter what, this is a possibility you need to accept and be willing to move forward from. You cannot force someone into wanting to be with you and there are times when it is best to simply cut your losses.
After taking a period of no contact to evaluate things, you may still be unsure if your ex-boyfriend is open to taking you back or not.
You also, may have decided that you actually do want to try to work things out as well. Here are some indicators of interest that your ex may be open to at least discussing reconciliation.
The opening of a potential reconciliation can usually be done through text message. It is a way to send out feelers to see how he may think of you at this time.
Getting any reply is better than getting none at all but understand they may be short one word responses that don’t lead where you want them to. It is a steady progression of getting them to open up.
What’s the first move?
So, once we go through a period of no contact, we may want to re-open the lines of communication. That is, if we actually still want to reconcile this broken relationship.
Like I said, plenty of times, people recognize that they were simple being too emotional. They didn’t actually want the relationship back, rather, they wanted to pain of the break up to subside.
Anyway, if we do want to try to mend things, we need to establish contact and feel things out. The best way to do this is through the use of text messages.
Texts are great, as they don’t need to be in the mood to respond, right when they get the message. They can come back later on, when their curiosity is piqued, and see what it is you want from them exactly.
It’s a much higher rate of response, than say, calling them out of the blue or trying to ‘accidentally’ run into them.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: