So your breakup happened and then in what seems like a really rapid amount of time, your ex-girlfriend is involved with another guy. Now, this ‘relationship’ may be serious, it may be a rebound, or it could simply be a fling. Nevertheless, seeing someone who your were just with and loved or cared deeply for move on with another guy can hurt bad. How did she find someone else this quickly, while you’re still aching from the end of the relationship? In this post, I want to explore how girls get past a break up (at least externally) this fast.
Time Ain’t Always What It Seems
On the surface, you had a break up with your girlfriend and then a few days, weeks, or a month later…she’s already with someone or multiple someone else’s. The truth of the matter is that, if she broke up with you, then she probably had it planned out well in advance. Not only that, unless she went out or met guys off of Tinder, she probably had an exit strategy that involved other guy(s).
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You have to understand that women often have plenty of options available to them, even when they are involved in a relationship. They may flirt a bit and keep these guys around as ‘just friends’ until that break up finally happens and they can quickly set up plans to see these dudes.
As men, we will many times, either have no other options or cut off all of the other women in our lives that could serve this same role. So, when a relationship ends we don’t have the same network (or even ability) to quickly replace the one we just lost.
I’ve heard this type of behavior referred to as ‘branch-swinging’. Much like a monkey swinging from branch to branch, she has a hold of another option before letting go of her previous boyfriend. Again, this isn’t always the case, sometimes she goes out with her friends and finds a guy at the bar or club or the aforementioned dating apps.
The new guy or guys can be used as a way to divert attention from the breakup, as well. If she has other guys to focus on, it can make her feel less lonely than she otherwise would in such a scenario. It’s kind of like kicking a drug habit by weaning yourself of it with a less powerful drug.
This is especially true if her relationship with you was a serious and long-term one. After a breakup, there is a void in people’s lives, in which the old relationship used to stand. One expects to see their ex everyday, but it doesn’t happen, and then they feel empty about it. This can be excruciating to get through and for some people they turn to finding new partners, in order to cope with the loss.
As such, rebound relationships are born.
Is the Rebound Relationship Serious?
Maybe. Then again, he might just be a temporary placeholder to make her feel better before she moves on with her life. If she’s taken the opposite tact and has multiple guys she’s seeing, then of course it’s not serious BUT she might be in that mode of dating for a while. This means it’s doubtful she’ll want to get involved in another serious and exclusive relationship.
If she’s now together with one guy and it’s exclusive. Then the seriousness is dependent on a few factors such as how long they’ve been together and how long it would take her to get over the relationship that she had with you. If you were together for only a few months and she’s been together with him for a few months…it’s probably pretty serious.
There are some scenarios in which an ex-girlfriend will be together with someone almost immediately following the breakup. In that case, it was almost always planned out in advance of the breakup with her ex. The relationship she moves into may not be serious but there was at least enough attraction to get her to fully commit to getting out of her previous one.
What To Do Now?
Things will be all right. It’ll just hurt like a bitch for a while. Here are some of my posts about moving on from relationships and dealing with it:
Keep in mind that women in general, have a greater ability than we do to move on with someone else after a break up. It’s simply one of our disadvantages. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is definitely over forever but it’s not a great sign and one should always prepare for the most likely scenario.
View this as an opportunity to shake things up in your life. Focus on self-improvement, health, mental happiness, travel, start new career, or hobbies. Break ups hurt but aren’t the end of the world. There is so much that one can do and experience in the world when he is single.
Not only does self-improvement make one’s life better and more fulfilling. It also has the effect of attracting more women in the future, so, if one relationship doesn’t work out…there will always be other options coming down the pike.
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