Trying to rekindle a broken relationship, isn’t about blind desperation, to try and make things as it once was. No, it cannot be like it once was, because things have changed to the point where a breakup has occurred. There may have been some time past the break up and now you realize, that your ex-girl is seemingly over you completely. For some fallen relationships, there are measures that can be taken, and improvements which can be made in order to help start fresh again. However, for many other guys, it may be time to accept the fact that she isn’t going to come back and move on with your life.
In order to begin the process of trying to get an ex-girlfriend back, we must be able to at least somewhat determine what the situation is. Also, to what extent the woman is actually done with the past, or if it is a temporary mood that can be remedied with some considerable effort.
What camp do you fall into?
The first thing that one must do is to figure out the likelihood of a reconciliation occurring. What is going on in your own unique situation which makes you think that she will come back to you (not just that you’re soooo awesome, of course). Analyze things….is she still communicating with you? Is she seeing someone else? How long has it been? Look for some signs that your ex may want to get back together.
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Some potentially good signs are, if she’s not seeing someone else, and that the break up is still pretty fresh. For instance, if the break up happened recently, a girl might say that she is done with you in the heat of the moment and later regret saying it. I’ve had girlfriends tell me they’re done with our relationship and then come back months later, because the ‘miss me’. Things can get weird, when emotions are running high.
If, on the other hand, you are getting no signs and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.
Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture is going to push her further away and become more spiteful towards you.
She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.
The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought. This is why a period of No Contact, can be so effective, because it allows for both parties to have a break and get their heads on straight.
If You’re Getting No Positive Signs
If you think that there is no shot that she’ll get back together with you, then, you’re probably right. It can be brutal to have to face the truth, however, it is a necessary thing to get on with your life.
It’s really sad to see guys just give up hope because one girl (no matter how great you think she is) no longer desires a relationship with them. There are guys who for years, are in a completely sad state all because of a breakup.
Listen, the girl was there to help enhance your life NOT to make your life or make you happy….that must come from within.
Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.
However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. I always say, to seriously plan to move on with your life without the ex, but be aware that things can change in the future. It’s just that you can’t force these changes to happen.
I think that deep down, every guy knows this on some level. It is just that in the immediate aftermath, the emotions and the change that has taken place is just too great to handle at times. You probably didn’t plan on losing her and thought that things would keep going on as they had before. Obviously, loneliness becomes a factor and you can often times just want her back simply so you don’t have to feel this way anymore.
It is a really bad time to have to get through, when you come to the realization that she in all likelihood doesn’t want you back in her life in the same capacity. That isn’t to say it won’t or can’t happen, but, when the odds are looking long it can be a great idea to start moving in a new direction. This all should start to become clearer after a period of no contact and time spent reflecting on what you truly want for your life moving forward.
Does she want you?? Maybe. Do you want her? If yes, why?
Another way to look at your situation and determine what the best actions to take are to flip the question on its head and ask why YOU WANT HER BACK. This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.
- Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
- Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason. (Note: I wrote a whole Kindle book on this topic)
- Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
- You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar.
- You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.
Find good reasons that you would even want her back. If you cannot, then let her go. If you can, then understand that she might not want to be back together with you…which is fine, there are billions of women on this planet, so you’ll be fine eventually.Maybe it is a situation in which you’re at fault and even though she wanted to stay with you, she simply could not because of your transgressions. That is a rough reality to face but one in which you’ll have to accept things, improve yourself, and try again with another woman. It’s just a time in your life where you’re have to take a loss and deal with the fact that it is most likely over for good.
The bottom line with all of this, is that, if your girlfriend is clearly displaying signs of not wanting anything to do with you then it is time to start moving on. Obsessing or wallowing about things for a long time is counterproductive towards the possibility of getting your ex-girlfriend back anyways. Start getting on with your life, improving yourself, dating other girls, and if you still think there is a shot, then you can try reopening the lines of communication and exploring the possibility of reconciliation. If she isn’t open to this, then she really doesn’t want to get back in a relationship with you.
If You Still Want Her Back
Alright, so, you’ve thought about it and have decided that trying to get back together with the ex is a good idea. You want her for the right reasons and not just to have something to occupy the temporary void you feel, in the time following the breakup.
Still, we are faced with a situation in which she wants nothing to do with you, or at least is putting up the front that this is the case. The course of action that needs to be taken will be dependent on the factors, we talked about before. Like, if she’s dating someone else or is ignoring you when you text, etc.
The first step is to continue into a No Contact period for 30-60 days. So, no texting or trying to get back together with her. During this time, use it to better yourself, and prepare for life as if she isn’t going to be coming back. Odds vary based on a whole lot of individual inputs, but both getting back together and moving forward should be prepared for.
Next, comes the initial contacting phase, which will hopefully turn into a meet up, and then an attempt at reconciliation.
How does one accomplish this? Well, the best method in the modern age, is by sending a text message. Honestly, it is quite a perfect way to reach out, because so little is involved on her end to type out a simple reply. It can be a good gauge to determine how much interest is still there.
Where do we start? I hope you had a chance to download the free report near the top of the page, about what not to text an ex. It was written by relationship expert Michael Fiore and is a part of his larger program, Text Your Ex Back.
Text Your Ex Back is a total digital program that walks you through the process of re-establishing contact and getting back together with an ex. It has been used by thousands of people successfully over the years and can be tried for 60 days with a full money back guarantee.