After a break up, there is almost always a flood of new emotions to deal with in the aftermath. As guys, most of us are not used to having such intense feelings in our day to day lives. So, we are not always equipped to handle them. The pain and the sadness are just a few of those emotional indicators of loss, but later on in the process another one can emerge, and that is jealousy.
Jealousy may be, the most unattractive, or one of the most unattractive qualities that a person can have. It’s awful, it clouds judgment, and makes a person behave irrationally. On the flip side, causing someone else to feel jealous towards you and your life is often a guilty pleasure and ego boost. When a relationship ends, former lovers can become bitter rivals and plenty of guys (and girls) want to know how they can succeed at making their ex jealous.
Why do you want to make your ex-girlfriend jealous?
Listen, I know that the stakes seem high after things end with your girlfriend and it can seem really enticing to one-up her and get with a hotter girl and rub it in her face.
However, what’s the point? Ultimately, what do you achieve by pursuing this course, other than being petty? Don’t try to justify it by saying that she started it by trying to make you jealous, either.
If her actions are dictating yours, then she effectively owns you. She should not be able to get under your skin whenever she pleases. You should be able to accept change in your love life, without resorting to a pointless back and forth.
I know, I know, there is some weird satisfaction that we all can get when we feel we have gotten the better of someone. This can especially be true, when we feel like we were betrayed. Seriously, though, why expend the energy? Just to make some girl that you either used to or still love, feel bad? Does she live rent free in your head? If you’re truly over her, you wouldn’t care at all.
Think about it. You’ve probably dated other women, right? If you’re in your late 20s or 30s at least, you probably had a girl in high school or college. Do you give a damn about that relationship nowadays? Or is it just another memory, that rarely comes up in your life?
You wouldn’t go out of your way to make those old girlfriends jealous, so why bother with this one? Because it is a fresh wound? Because she is sleeping with other guys? Let it heal and move on with your life, or, if you want to reconcile the relationship…why are you trying to hurt her?
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There are no winners and losers
I think that one of the largest causes of people attempting to create jealousy with their ex, is this idiotic notion of ‘winning’ the break up. As if, one of the former partners getting a new lover(s) is an ‘upgrade’ over their ex.
Jesus, did you not once care deeply for one another? Why not choose to remember that time, instead of focusing on how it went wrong. Yes, it may have gotten ugly…but that’s life. Things change, relationships change, and time moves forwards as it always has.
Get out of the mindset that you must score some victory over your ex-girlfriend by getting with a bunch of new girls (and making sure she knows all about it) and just accept that this aspect of your life is no longer the same. I mean, get with all of those girls if you want, but don’t do it out of spite. (Heck, I wrote a book on the subject of getting more women, if you’re so inclined: Game Without Games)
Regardless, of what she does, as a man you need to keep control of your mental faculties and never let her attempts for attention make you act as she wants. If she wants you to be jealous, you are only serving to feed her ego when you comply and get all worked up about whatever she is doing.
What You Should Be Doing
While trying to one-up your ex and making her become green with envy is a waste of time, bettering yourself for all future prospects, is actually a great idea. Improving your health, appearance, emotional control, addictions, dating life, and financial standing will go a long way to helping you have a smooth transition out of the old relationship and into the future.
After all, it is hard to wallow in the past, when you have a ton of new experiences and opportunities to take advantage of.
Also, creating these new circumstances for yourself is inherently attractive. This is of course important for getting an influx of new girls in your life, but also, it helps if the possibility arises for you and the ex to get back together (if that’s what you want). If that is what you want then it is especially important not to be petty after a break up because it will only serve to stir up further emotions and make it even more difficult to reconcile with one another.
After a break up, prepare yourself to go forward in life with or without your ex-girlfriend. Your life is about you and not her. Make it the best you can and if she wants to be apart of it, then you can consider it, but if not…then it is time to move on. Why care about trying to make a woman jealous, that you’re no longer together? A whole lot of women are emotional or jealous of others for no reason. It’s not really an accomplishment, to push one into that state of mind.