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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Her Back if She Hates You?

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Sometimes, after the demise of a relationship, things aren’t too bad between the former lovers and there is more clarity about reconciliation or simply moving on because emotions aren’t quite as intense and rationality is more prevalent. However, there are other breakup situations in which one partner still wants his ex back while the other seems to have an intense dislike or yes, even hatred towards that person. Now, this ‘hate’ may be real and one that lasts or it may be a short-term reaction to something that you did or towards the end of the partnership. What can a guy do if his ex-girlfriend really dislikes him?

 

Give Her Time To Cool Off

In the middle of circumstances, emotions are running red hot and things are said, that might not be meant in the long-term. Our present lives are almost always paramount to things that happened years ago.

I bet we can all think back in our lives to things that really upset us in that time period. Though, now we are either indifferent towards them or simply laugh that we once cared that much.

This type of thing happens quite a lot in relationships, or when they end, because we kind of become addicted to that other person. Addicted to their presence, love, attention, etc.

These emotions can of course be intensified when the person we are upset at continuously shows up. Or interferes with our lives, instead of just letting us have time to reflect and cool off.

Time to cool, might be a while

Your now, ex-girlfriend or wife, is probably pretty pissed at you…to the point you had to search out an article on how to deal with her hatred. So, to start with you are already at a great disadvantage in terms of an attempt to win her back.

In order to try to get out of such a predicament, one must assess the likelihood of turning her feelings back. She needs to feel something positive towards you and the first step is letting her have time.

Going no-contact is a popular method for dealing with breakups, and for good reason, it lets emotions settle down among both parties. Even though your impulse is to try to talk, reason with her, beg, apologize, and the like…it is actually the wrong course of action to take.

First of all, the two of you need to think about your own lives, and the very real possibility that the relationship is indeed over for good. Secondly, the constant calling and texting, will make you seem desperate and even if you are, it makes you even more unattractive or annoying in her eyes.

Let her have space and let yourself have some too. You need time apart from one another, as it lets things calm down and become more rational. This time can be a very lonely and trying experience and the urge to contact her must be resisted for at least a month or two.

During this time period, you should work on all aspects of your life and figure out if you should move on from her and start dating other girls (if need be). If you are honest with yourself, in most situations, the best move will be to learn to let her go and chart a new path for your romantic life.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Think About What You Did to Piss Her Off So Much

Okay, so this lady may or may not actually hate you. Either way, what did you do to get her in this state?

If you cheated on her, then this only adds another layer of complexity, and  further lowers your chance of getting her back. Many people are not forgiving of a transgression such as that, and even if they do take you back, the dynamic of trust in the relationship is shattered. The couple will then, need to work extensively to move past it, as an obstacle.

Whatever it is that you have done to anger her, think about what it is, why you did it, if it’s a behavior that you seem to repeat often, and why you haven’t changed this behavior.

Is this something that you can improve upon or even change completely? If you were caught with another girl, are you really ready to give up other women in your life for good?

If not, you may not be ready for a long-term committed relationship…which is fine. At least be honest with yourself, that you would really rather hookup with a bunch of women, versus being exclusive with her. Don’t simply fall into an emotional space and demand to get her back, because your ego is hurt that she’s gone.

What are these things that you need to fix in order for her to take you seriously in the future? Figure it out and come up with a plan on how you are going to remedy these issues.

It gets lonely sometimes

Figure Out If She Really Does Hate You

After a time apart from one another, she may have softened enough to be willing to talk to you and interact further. On the other hand, she may want nothing to do with you and is moving on with her life.

If that’s the case, it is a really good idea to respect her wishes and simply let her do what she wants. You cannot force someone to like you, and trying to keep up a pursuit of reconciliation, just becomes pathetic at some point. People tend to just get stuck in the past, instead of charting, a better future.

However, after a period of no contact, it may still be uncertain to you whether she will be receptive or not to accepting you back into her life. Here is a post about signs that your ex may want you back.  At this stage, you may have come to the conclusion that you do indeed want to try and restart a dialogue with her.

The dialogue can usually be started through text message, just to feel out how she perceives you at this point in time. She may not respond or give short and terse answers. A reply is better than no answer at all. From there, it is a progression of getting her to talk to you more often, hashing things out, and agreeing to meeting up with you.

 

What’s the first move?

If the goal is to get back together with an ex, then obviously contact with them, must be had in order to move forward. Luckily, thanks to the power of technology, the barriers to entry are much lower. We no longer have to call and pray for an answer or try to randomly arrange a meeting with a go between.

Now, cell phones have given us the ability to send text messages. Why is this a good thing? You have all the time to craft the right message. They have all the time to respond. Maybe they don’t want to right away, but maybe they will later. It requires little effort and there’s no face to face meeting, right off the bat. Sounds pretty ideal.

 

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships. How he uses it in his program:

Hopefully, you downloaded the free reports from earlier in the post, explaining what not to text an ex when trying to get back with them. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as a basic introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. It is easily downloadable and available almost instantly, no waiting for shipping.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Should You Try to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back from Her New Boyfriend?

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There seems to be a definite abundance of cases in which guys still want their ex-girlfriends back…even when she is now with another guy. I mean, she has a new boyfriend, has seemingly move on with this relationship, and you still want her back? Hmmm, that’s a hard one to pull off and one in all honesty, may not be worth the price of admission, so to speak. The name of this website is exbackormoveon.com and the real question that people need to seriously ask themselves is built into the title, should you try to get your ex back or should you just simply move on with your life?

 

Let’s Consider the Moving On First

Honestly, the best answer for your future and well-being, is probably the one you don’t want to hear in the moment. The fact of the matter is, if your ex-girl is now in a relationship with another guy, you should be making preparations to move on with your own dating life. Whether or not, you ever do get back together, you should mentally prepare yourself to push forward with your own life independent from her.

Forgetting about someone is definitely tough and the loneliness is downright awful at times. However, it is simply in the nature of things that new relationships occur, mature, and indeed ultimately perish. There is no good reason that you should be wasting your  years hoping for someone that might be gone for good…not to say that it can’t happen again with them. Only that, now isn’t that time, and that you should be building a quality life for yourself regardless if they come back to you or not.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Not To Do and What To Do whether Moving On or Not

What is certain about such a situation is that chasing after the girl, obsessing, and making bold declarations of love is not the path to take. It only serves to make a man look desperate (which is inherently unattractive) and will most likely repel them further away from you.

Taking the opposite tact and focusing on improving your own life and allowing new girls to flow into it is the best course of action to take? Why? Well, not only will it help you cope and move on without her, it will also raise your perceived value. So, on the off chance in the future your ex-girlfriend wants you back she will see that you can indeed survive and thrive without her.

Stagnation and obsession are not attractive qualities. In order to get any woman, even one who already knows you, she has to believe that you’re her best option for getting what she wants. If that’s a successful relationship, she’s probably not going to want to run back to a failed one, when absolutely nothing has changed and feelings have soured toward one another.

Also, you cannot give a damn about the other guy. Her new boyfriend IS her boyfriend now, not you, so talking shit about him or sweating their relationship isn’t going to make her be a big fan of yours. He is her preferred choice, at the moment, and if you try to force her hand (to break up with him), she’s going to stay with him (and probably be that much more committed).

A lot of this is outside of your control, as you’re dealing with two external variables (your ex and the new man), but what you have control over is you. You can control what smart things you do and what things you shouldn’t do to further mess up any potential chance at reconciliation.

Understand, that it can often take a long time for an ex-girl to even want to come back to you and at that point, it might be you who wants nothing to do with them. I’ve had exes contact me 4-5 years after the fact. As if, time had stood still for me, and that I would even be interested in rehashing such an old relationship.

Sure, her current relationship with another guy could be one that isn’t very serious and if it doesn’t work out she could come back and start sniffing around to rekindle your relationship…but you can’t bank on that, so it makes sense to prep for the more likely scenario.

How to Handle the Thoughts of Her Sleeping with a New Guy?

This is where a lot of men mess up, I think. They can handle not being desperate or texting her all of the time or whatever, in normal circumstances. However, once the thoughts of her having sex with the new boyfriend start creeping in his mind, that’s when everything comes off of the rails and he’s back to acting desperate.

I’ve written a whole post, How to Handle an Ex-Girlfriend Sleeping with Other Men, so I won’t rehash everything here. Suffice to say, the road to acceptance, if a huge part of being able to have any sort of future with this girl. Even if she comes back, you cannot have these thoughts derailing you, when trying to start a new relationship together.

More importantly now, these type of negative thought patterns can stir up anger and other emotions, that aren’t going to be a help to what you want to accomplish. You have to be able to keep your cool, through this process, and accept whatever outcome results.

 

Taking Time Away

In this situation, there is already an established time apart from one another, that was put in place by her. She has a new boyfriend and therefore cannot be talking to her ex, constantly. From the other side of things, you need to follow that lead, and do a period of No Contact with her. It’s pretty easy to enforce, just stop badgering her.

But won’t she forget about me? Won’t that push her to the other guy more? Again, we can only control our variables, and not what she is doing. If we try to interfere with her decisions, she’ll likely just get pushed further from wanting anything to do with you. There is also no guarantee that she’ll feel closer to that guy in a month or two. He might actually suck. Though, maybe he’s an awesome match for her.

That’s another thing outside of our control, but there are plenty of times, when people get into relationships with people who turn out to be less than expected. A quick period of being super into them, and then experiencing what they’re actually like, which can create disillusionment.

She might dump him or he might dump her. We don’t have any clear insight into their intentions, so biding time, is the best strategy.

Anyhow, the time apart is important. It’ll give you clarity about your future, the intense emotions calm down, and you can make yourself a better man. All of which is a prerequisite for starting a second relationship, with an ex-girlfriend, because the original one is done for good no matter what.

With more information becoming available to us over time, we can then make much better decisions about how to proceed. We are coming at it from the point of view of what is more attractive to a woman: Her annoying ex-boyfriend who calls or texts constantly and is super jealous OR her ex-boyfriend who isn’t bothering her, seems cool with her decision, and is improving his own life?

 

What to Do During No Contact

What would any potential attractive situation for her getting back together with you entail? What were the downsides to the relationship? Did you have anger issues? Lack of commitment? What was it?

One needs to be honest with themselves, about what they need to improve upon, or else you’re going to get the same results…again and again.

Begin to work on your own faults, during this time apart. Not only that, but improve upon aspects of your life that YOU want to focus on, regardless of her.

This can include:

  • improving yourself physically. It’s the basic way of sparking attraction, after all.
  • Working on any emotional problems, negativity, listening skills, empathy, etc. I had some anger issues when I was younger, like real quick to get pissed off, and that was one of the first things that I changed about myself when self-improving. People I hadn’t seen in a while, would always comment how mellow and happier, I seemed. These changes can be a huge part of how people perceive you. Including, those who’ve known you for a long time.
  • Financial and/or career. Money and the path you’re taking in life, can have a big impact on your relationships. Not only that, but also for you as an individual. Take the time to assess what you want and if you’re even on the right path.

 

Establishing Contact

So, after 30-60 days or no contact, the picture will become clearer and it may be time to try and re-establish a connection with the ex-girlfriend. If she was just in a rebound relationship, it very well may have already run its course, and she might be looking to jump ship. Heck, it might have ended already after 1-2 months.

Probably the easiest way to begin to establish contact once again, is through text messaging. After all, it is non-intrusive, and doesn’t require very much to get her to respond. The easiest way to get her to talk, is usually the best way, set the bar really low.

Where does one begin? Well, there are all sorts of variable that can come into play. Knowing where to start is a process of learning. Fortunately, relationship expert Michael Fiore, has a program for getting back in touch with and winning over an ex, called: Text Your Ex Back.

This has been used by thousands of people to re-kindle their broken relationships. Hopefully, you had a chance to download the free guy, linked towards the top of the page about what not to text to an ex-girlfriend. Michael’s program will show you, what you SHOULD text them, and is risk free to try for 60 days. Click the picture below, to watch a video on the process.

 

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Forget About Your Ex: Getting Over it and Moving On

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There comes a time, after we have been dumped, cheated on, or gotten out of a toxic relationship, when we just want to move forward with or lives and no longer think of our ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s natural and admirable to want to push forward, without someone we were so close to for so long. However, often, just getting them out of our minds and forgetting the exist for long enough to focus on other areas of ourselves can be an absolute grind. Though, we know inherently that there must be a way out of the fog, but how do we ultimately forget about an ex completely?

 

What are These Feelings?

Many of the feelings that come with the ending of a long-term relationship are negative, in part, because there is a fear of one’s old way of life collapsing and that things will never be the same again. It seems like a really scary thing, that life will no longer carry on as it has before, and that uncertainty will rule the day.

The thing about it is, life is always changing. and people will come in and out of your life. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the life of a human being is.

If your an older reader of this website, I’m sure you can remember dating someone who felt very significant to you in high school or college. When the two of you broke up, it almost certainly seemed like a really big deal, to your young self. Nowadays, you probably don’t ever think about them, and if you do it surely isn’t as emotional as it once was for you. It becomes sort of a faded memory or a pang of nostalgia.

Younger readers, probably don’t have the same experience in dealing with break ups of relationships. This experience and flood of emotion is a new thing for you. I know how tough it can be the first time something like this happens in your life. However, billions of other people throughout time have successfully gotten through it, so you can indeed get through it also.

Just understand that these powerful emotions can make you more impulsive, than you usually would be. As such, we must take care, not to let ourselves make any really poor decisions during the healing process.

What Can One Do?

As I have moved my way through life and experience my own heartbreak, I have come to learn how to get over my feelings for my ex-girlfriends and keep pushing myself forward. It isn’t always an easy or even a pleasant process to have to get through, but I always feel that at the end, it is a rewarding one.

After all, nothing worth having, isn’t a difficult thing to attain. The highs of love wouldn’t be as high. if they weren’t accompanied by, the lowest of lows after a relationship has ended. Each time, I have grown as a person, and gathered plenty of wisdom about what I want or who I don’t want around me.

I have found out over the years that a lot of the addictive qualities of my past relationships were spurred on my a sort of co-dependency with that girl. Meaning, I was always searching for that next ‘high’ and expecting her to validate my feelings and self-worth, just as I had done for her.

I have found out the hard way that if I am not happy with myself first, that, I can never be happy because of her. She CANNOT make me happy. A relationship is there to simply enhance my life experience and perhaps to grow along with one another. Searching for happiness through, relationship after relationship, is ultimately a pointless endeavor.

Going No Contact with Them

Another thing that I always like to do for some period of time following a relationship is applying the No Contact Rule. I do this, to simply give myself some breathing room, without their influence over my emotions. The more I am away from them after a break up, the faster I can return to my rational state of mind. No Contact forces me to be on my own and learn how to function in my life without my ex-girlfriend. I wrote about this process in detail, here.

Time is a very important factor after a break up. A break up is a loss, emotionally. It definitely takes the wind out of your sails for quite a while. What I always allow myself to do after a break up is to essentially grieve its loss for some time.

I allow myself to feel these emotions and not try to cover them up or ignore any pain that I feel. I pull myself together in order to get through the work day, or whatever else, I might have going on. Though, when I get home I can be by myself, and truly let myself feel the loss.

I usually set aside a set amount of time during the evening, if I need it that day. This process doesn’t go on forever, but, it is important to get emotions out in a healthy way. I strictly adhere to a time limit for each day, though. So, I might give myself an hour to feel bad, meditate, and let go of those emotions for the day. I don’t allow myself to continue to wallow and reinforce the bad feelings.

Transitioning to the Positive

How I transition out of those negative feelings, is by slowly adding more and more positive activities into my life. Exercising, reading, meditation, or whatever else that lets me have positive emotions, I will use to replace me moping around the house or crying about the break up. This reinforces good behavioral patterns, and allows me to feel positive feelings, so that I am not just stuck in some dark place for an extended period of time.

It is important to note that, these positive activities can be extremely small things, which add up in the cumulative. So, listening to upbeat music might be one way. Initially, I just want to alter my mood towards the positive, as much as I can. It’s a small step, but our brains sort of need to relearn to be in a normal state during this time.

I also use this time post-breakup, to alter my feeling towards my now ex-girlfriend. I stop myself from idealizing the relationship and only focusing on what I thought were the good times between us.

I adopt a realism, that our relationship had enough problems that it needed to end when it did. Even if we were to re-kindle things, it would have to grow into a different relationship or fail again. I will eventually remind myself that, there are indeed other girls worth pursuing, and eventually start dating again in due time.

On the other side of the coin, even if I dislike her strongly for how things ended, I don’t give into the hatred. I want to accept things as they are and let go of her as an influence, not build her to be some kind of adversary in my own mind.

I know that I have to accept the fact that the way I may feel is not the way she might feel. Meaning, if I still want a relationship with her, I must accept the fact that she might simply just want to move on with her life without me. She may still love me but not want to be with me.

I must accept that things have indeed changed, to the extent that, the same relationship together is no longer possible. Significant changes would have to be made, for us to even think about being together in the future.

The best way to move on from an ex after a relationship is to focus on yourself and your life. Growth is an important aspect of moving on because you can’t get past your emotions if you’re constantly revisiting the past. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, find ways to experience positive emotions, find new ways to grow and experience life, and accept that things are no longer the same and your paths may not cross again. Here are some other helpful posts:

Stop Being Needy Post-Break Up

How to Cope with Loneliness

Ex Back or Move on Homepage

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How to Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend Sleeping with Someone Else

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A very common issue which guys must face after a relationship ends, is the thought of their ex-girlfriend having sex with someone else (either in imagination or reality). The fact that you spent so much time with this girl and grew to have such a deep connection makes it feel really terrible when she is sharing that type of intimacy with another guy. Seeing your ex in this type of relationship so soon can have devastating effects on your psychological state and emotions. How does one accept this as it is and move on?

 

Jealousy and Ego

 

It is interesting as to when we become emotional and/or jealous about a girl having sex. A lot of times when we meet a new girl and begin a relationship with her, she isn’t a virgin (maybe she was in your case) BUT we don’t have the same type of emotional negativity towards the fact that she was with other guys before you. If you do feel that way about guys in the past, then you have a deep seeded attachment to your ego and the self-image you have built for yourself. However, for most guys it really isn’t a big deal because we figure, “She’s with me now.”

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Once she moves on from you and starts to sleep with other guys, why does it bother you more? Her having sex, in no way diminishes you as a man nor does it diminish your past relationship. That relationship has already occurred in the past and run its course.

Really, why should it bother you? You do not have to feel threatened by another man or jealous of him. This type of competition or comparison is the breeding ground of envy, which will only serve to drag you down further. Making you more angry, sad, depressed, etc.

One major factor is the sense of ownership that people get when they are in a relationship. It’s this idea of ‘she’s mine’, which is ultimately an illusion. No girl is ever ‘yours’, she is her own person and while a strong bond and attachment can form, it doesn’t mean that this is going to stay the same forever. After all, there was a time in the past where you probably didn’t know her, she was with another guy, you were seeing other women…there is no difference now, things back then changed, and then things changed again. Acknowledge this fact and begin to let it go.

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Reduce It to Its Base



One way to cope with and begin to transcend the jealousy and other emotions that you feel when you think about your ex-girlfriend having sex with another man is to break down the act to it’s core. Think about this reductionist exercise in very clinical terms. What is actually happening? A man sticks his penis inside a vagina, where is skin comes into contact with her. Friction occurs from thrusting in and out until finally there is an intense spasming and some goo shoots out. That’s it. That’s what we get so upset about, when there’s actually no use crying over spilled goo.

Once reduced to it’s more clinical and technical base, do the same thing with your feelings. What actual harm is this causing me? Does this erase the fact that I’ve already had a sexual relationship with this woman? Does him having sex with her negate my masculinity? Does this preclude me from ever having another woman? Will I even give a damn about her having sex with someone else in 10 years? 5 Years? Hell, 5 months?

This short-lived upset is born out of your attachment towards the narrative in your head. You keep telling yourself, again and again, about your masculinity and your failed relationship. Thoughts and memories betray us, as they constantly loop inside our mind, and more and more images get added to them. This makes these scenes and memories more vivid and emotional for us, which creates greater attachment, especially when we begin to interpret them and buy into this story that we’ve created.
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Why Getting Used to This Helps in the Future

 

Think about the ways women can actually hurt or manipulate you. Either by using sex or emotion. If she wants to entice you to do something, she may use sex as a reward. If she wants to punish you, she withdraws sex. If she wants to really hurt you, she may give sex to another man (known as cheating) in order to make you jealous and feel pain. It’s the same way with emotional manipulation, and guys fall for it, almost every single time.

What if you became centered emotionally and took full control of your sexuality and sexual desire? What if you got to the point where it didn’t bother you if you thought about another guy having sex with a girl you were once with? Without any ego attachment to the act of sex, how would your ex honestly hurt you emotionally? Not just your ex but women you date in the future.

It’s very possible to get to a state where you don’t care about such frivolous things, and let go of any girl, who goes away with another guy or tries to break the confines of your relationship. Many guys in polyamorous relationships, let their girlfriend or wife, have sex with other guys and it doesn’t bother them. Some are full of shit, but others, genuinely don’t care. I’m not saying that you have to pursue that type of relationship, or that it’s even a good idea, but they do have some useful concepts on jealousy and sex.

What if you decide to have sex on your own terms and not go chasing it like some rabid dog? Her seductive charms begin to have no effect on you and you can make clear and rational decision about what you want from your sexual life.

She can probably get sex whenever she wants, but can she get a solid loving relationship whenever? Nope. It’s funny because that can often be the last laugh that men get in these break up scenarios. She goes out and has sex with different guys. Her ex-boyfriend is devastated. She thinks she’s won, but ultimately none of those guys care about her. The ex-boyfriend moves on into a better relationship. She is all alone, stuck with guys who only want her for sex.

 

She Slept with Another Guy and Now Wants Me Back…Wat Do?

Alright, let’s say the scenario is that, she slept with another guy after the break up but now wants to get back together with you. How does one handle that situation?

For me, it would depend highly on the specific circumstances. Admittedly, I would lean heavily towards moving on from that relationship, and firing up the old online dating apps (my book on that subject) to meet new women for myself.

However, I would consider the circumstances, as to whether it was just some random guy or a guy she knew. Do I know how much time elapsed from break up to her having sex with someone else? If it was essentially right after we split and she knew the guy (if I could ascertain that info), then I would say, “No thanks” to her reconciliation offer.

To my mind, he was a back up guy, that she could try to grab onto if things went south with our relationship. It would also be possible that she cheated on me before with him and just made things a bit more official this time around. Either way, I don’t like it, and would move on from her.

If it had been a few months and she had sex with a guy she’d met in the interim period, I’d probably be more forgiving of that. However, it’s still a heavy lean no for me.

You have to analyze your own situation and what you can handle. Let go of all the negative thought patterns, clear your mind, but really figure out how much this might bother you in the future or what impact it might have on a potential reconciliation.

 

What this Boils Down to

The key is not to just grit it out or cope with these feelings. The key is to become aware of them as they bubble up and not let them take control of yourself. Recognize the anger or other feeling when it arises. Observe it. Are you that anger? Do you have to let it ‘become’ who you are? Can you observe this feeling, recognize where it is coming from, feel it, and then let it go?

Don’t become a victim in your own mind, even if it’s justified, as it will only serve to create another story in your head which will loop continuously and drag you down with it. It is easier to get angry or depressed about these things but letting them go is a much more effective way to deal with them.

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Exploring the world of dating and so-called Pick-up Artistry, through the lens of the mind. Game without Games, from attractyourdevelopment.com, eschews traditional pickup advice and gets down to the core concepts of self including: fear, truth, connection, and desire. Taken from the author’s own personal experience in approaching, attracting, and dating women from age eighteen through his twenties, this book strips away all of the tips and tactics of the PUA community. Instead, this book focuses on personal development and cultivating what the ancient Stoic philosophers referred to as the internal.

With a greater inner strength and by focusing on developing one’s life in totality, attraction occurs naturally by becoming a ‘desirable man’. Game then is about expressing of oneself and exploring who she is, instead of trying to remember lame pick-up lines or tricks and tactics to get laid. Things become natural and flow from the relaxed and confident state of the man. He has control of his mental faculties and thus can accept life and social interactions on his own terms. Not chasing women or putting up with disrespect or other nonsense.

If you want to learn how to talk to girls, in a step by step format…go elsewhere. However, if you want to explore the mental side of game and the letting go of pickup dogma, Game without Game might be the book for you.

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Should I Take my Ex-Boyfriend Back after He Dumped Me?

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Sometimes when relationships end, the person who ended the partnership, has a change of heart and later decides that this move away from their ex was a mistake. Perhaps, the breakup was a hasty or emotionally charged decision that they confirmed was a mistake once they had cleared their heads and began to think logically. Other times, they find out how rough the single life can sometimes be and want to return to the safety of something familiar. Either way, the person who got dumped has a decision to make as to whether or not they want to accept their ex back into their lives on that level. Should you take your ex-boyfriend back after he broke up with you? Well, that depends on you, your situation, and what you want for your future.

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Get to the Root Cause of Why He Wants You Again

The first thing that you should assess, even before whether or not you want to take him back, is why did he break up with you in the first place? Sometimes, his reasoning for leaving you will reveal more than what you want from a relationship because it can often indicate if he is truly serious or not.

Think about it. If he broke up with you because he wanted to go out with a bunch of different girls, have things changed in his mind to make him want to be monogamous with you now? If he was nervous about commitment on a deeper level, has he suddenly become Mr. Ready to Marry during your time apart?

He might very well truly want to be with you but he could also just be lonely or having trouble meeting other women and so came crawling back. What are his reasons for wanting to be with you again, if things were so bad that he dumped you in the first place?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You cannot just automatically assume that he is in it for the long haul and really does want a relationship with you again, even if he says he does. He could be just as confused about things as you are and just be grasping for some level of stability.

Yes, there is the possibility that he truly realizes that he made a mistake by letting you go. There is the ‘grass is always greener’ scenario in life. Perhaps he feared commitment before, but recognized that the dating scene wasn’t all that great, and so needs to get back together.

Another point, is that he might have gotten caught up in the emotional turmoil of the break up. He dumped you for some reason, perhaps was upset about something involving the two of you, and then cooled down later after the damage was done. Now, pride kicks in, and it takes him a while to gather the courage to ask to get back together. He was impulsive and broke up with you for a frivolous reason.

It gets lonely sometimes

What Has Changed?

There are always reasons for breakups. Sometimes they’re major and other times they are quite minor and silly to think about. However, no matter what the problem was, if there is not a solution, then you are simply getting back into a broken relationship. If that’s the case, it’s best to just forget about him and move on.

Think about what you’re relationship’s problems were. Was it equally split between the two of you or was he the main culprit for the issues that popped up? If cheating was involved (especially on his part) then a vast majority of the time it is a very bad idea to get back together.

People always pronounce that they are going to change and they may even show strides towards making that a reality…BUT…the truth of the matter is that change is extremely difficult for people to make. Change isn’t just a superficial paint job to cover up the mistakes and problems of the past, rather, it is something which needs to occur on a fundamental level in order to truly be effective.

With that in mind, question what about your relationship has changed and what will change for the better if you do decide to take him back. Things don’t go back to being the same just because you want them to.

In fact, it’s almost as if you are creating a new relationship from scratch, since the old one was obviously broken in some way or multiple ways. Be level-headed and logical to avoid falling into the trap of chasing what you had in the past together and if you cannot see a viable future, then it is time to accept the breakup once and for all.

If you decide to start talking to him again, about the possibility of reconciling the relationship, and you’re getting the vibe that his motives aren’t what he says they are…it’s a valid reason to end it and move on with your life. Changes need to materialize at some point and it’ll be a waste of your time, to simply get stuck in the same rut again, that caused the original split.

 

What Do You Want?

Ultimately, you must decide what you want for your life and what type of relationship you want to be in. Nostalgia and those intense feelings you may still have for him are not enough to make a relationship work. Nor do they mean that getting back with him is the best decision for you and your life.

It’s really tough to let someone you love go but when it comes to dysfunctional relationships, it truly is the best choice to make.

If you don’t have a clear picture of what you want to do with your life, or that he should definitely be the guy you want to be with for the long haul; it is a good idea to not take him back. This is not a decision to be taken lightly or to make impulsively, as getting back into a bad relationship or one that has run its course, will lead to bad results and waste large potions of you time.

Think long and hard about this, don’t be in an emotional state, weigh the pros and cons, and eventually a clear picture will emerge. If one doesn’t then you probably shouldn’t get back together.

Where do you see things in five years? Both in your life and career, but also for the type of relationship that you want. Can he actually fit into this scenario? If you want marriage and kids and he doesn’t, is it going to be worth fixing this boyfriend/girlfriend scenario? Shouldn’t you instead spend your time getting your life the way you want it, so that when you meet the right guy, everything is set?

It can be tough because of these emotional attachments that we have to people. In the short-term, it hurts like hell to let them go, because they can supply strong positive feelings when they’re around. The problem is, in the long-term, it can derail what you want from life if they aren’t the right person. The right person when you’re 20, might be completely wrong for you at 27 years old. The idea is to mature and grow together, if he isn’t capable, then what’s the point?

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Will My Ex-Boyfriend Come Back if I Stop Chasing?

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A break up happens and you’re not satisfied with this result. You want him. You want him back, just like how it used to be. So, you chase. The more you chase the further he pushes away, it seems. As such, you draw the conclusion, that if you stop chasing your ex-boyfriend he will then come back. Interesting theory, but will it work if you give him space? What are the potential outcomes for such time apart? Chasing is almost never the right answer, especially when its already proven to be ineffective, but will he want to get back together if you let up?

 

Is Chasing Driving Him Away?

Possibly. To what extent depends, though, one could argue that it certainly isn’t helping matters at all.  On the one hand, he may not want to get back together regardless of being chased or not. On the other hand, it might be the chasing that is giving him doubts.

Therefore, the best course of action to take is one of inaction, at least in terms of bothering an ex-boyfriend. The broken relationship needs time to cool off and that’s near impossible to do when one party, keeps running after the attention of the other.

People often think that doing nothing is somehow a bad move, because we always feel the need to try and ‘fix’ a situation. What’s important to understand is that breakups usually aren’t as simple of a fix as just badgering the other person non-stop until you’re magically back together. NO!

Instead, there is often a time apart, when the former couple can gain clarity about what they each want for their lives as individuals and then move forward with or without each other. This time apart is usually enforced by the application of the No Contact Rule which allows the emotional turmoil of the breakup to settle down a lot before any potential reconciliation takes place.

Also, chasing in itself, simply isn’t attractive. It can come off as really desperate, even if one is desperate, it’s not an attractive quality to the man in this scenario.

If chasing isn’t working, then, one needs to give the guy some space. That’s clearly his wish to not be pestered about getting back together, at every moment. This doesn’t mean that he will forget you, it’s just a respite from being in constant contact.

Why Does He Want Time and Space Apart?

Well, put the shoe on the other foot for a second. Imagine some guy that you’d broken up with, were trying to talk, text, and see you at every possible moment. Maybe, you’d be willing to try and work things out, but he won’t give you the time you need to figure out what’s the best path for you to take.

Wouldn’t you get annoyed at some point? Even if you still had strong feelings and the inclination to reconcile with him, the act would wear thin, eventually.

That’s the same situation that the ex-boyfriend is currently facing. Not only does he have his whole work, school, or whatever other life to worry about. Now, he also has an ex-girlfriend vying for his limited attention.

There’s no way he can gain clarity about what he wants in terms of potentially fixing the broken relationship, if he has his old girlfriend, trying to be around all of the time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.

 

Say the Chasing Stops, Will He Want to Get Back Together?

There’s no guarantee, but the odds will certainly be better than, continuing to try and force him back into the relationship. As I always say on this site, there is never a 100% chance that a relationship can be salvaged, all you can do it play the best odds.

So, what’s more likely, him coming back after you let him have time apart OR continuing to chase him…which has already been failing?

That was rhetorical, but the answer is the first option mentioned above.

Chasing someone isn’t going to wear them out and make them submit. It’s going to trigger frustration and make them want to have nothing to do with the person, who won’t let them be.

So, the best course to take is one in which, he is given space for a time. To where he feels like he’s not being constantly pressured and can make a clear decision about whether or not he wants to get back together.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Will My Ex-Boyfriend Come Back if Given Space?

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There are times when a break up happens, that one party almost immediately begins chasing the other, in order to get back together with them. In this case, the boyfriend, asks his ex-girlfriend to stop and give him space. He wants time apart from having to deal with the broken relationship. Why? What will happen if he is given this time apart? Will he come running back? Will he find someone else? Will giving him space make him miss me? These are all very common questions and worries when dealing with a break up. But should he get the space he desires or is that a mistake?

 

 

Is Space What is Needed?

Potentially. It is very difficult to get someone to change their mind about something, when they’re feeling crowded or pressured, by an outside force. This can be especially true, when that person is someone who you’ve recently broken up with.

Time apart from one another allows the emotions of both sides to calm down quite a bit and allows for more clarity about how they each want to proceed with their own lives. This is why something like the No Contact Rule can be so darn effective, as it let’s people decompress from the relationship, and think about what could possibly come next.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Many people have a fear of giving an ex their space and time apart because they think that they will forget all about them. That isn’t necessarily true and time apart can actually have the opposite effect on a person. Many times, this time away from one another can trigger feelings and emotions to make they guy miss his ex-girlfriend.

Bottom line: if he asked for space, give it to him. Don’t let your own emotions or ideas about what is best for him, try to supersede his current wishes. At some point, he’ll be ready to communicate once again, or move on from the relationship if that’s what he wants.

 

Why Does He Need Me to Leave Him Alone?

In all likelihood, he has plenty of other things happening in his life beyond just a breakup. Work, school, family, etc. So, having his ex-girlfriend consistently or constantly vying for his attention can be draining. Especially, when the break up is still a fresh wound.

As a man, I want to be left alone a good chunk of the time, even when I’m in a good relationship with a woman. Never mind when I’m trying to figure out what course of action I should take with my life, after a breakup has occurred.

Think about it: how can someone ever miss someone else, if that person is always around or texting them about the past?

There is nothing more irritating to us, then having our girlfriend or ex bothering us when we’ve asked them, to let us be. Like, super super irritating.

Let him have his space.

 

But Will He Come Back?

He’s more likely to, than if his wishes are not being respected. Obviously, when dealing with human beings, there’s no 100% guarantee that their definitely going to try to get back with their ex. I mean, there are so many variables about him, his personality, and what he wants for his life that only he knows about.

However, one has to play the odds when trying to get an ex-boyfriend to come back. In this scenario, is him being left alone for the time being, going to increase those odds? Almost certainly yes.

Desperation isn’t an attractive quality and continually chasing a guy is only going to serve to push him further away. Meaning, he will be less attracted to a woman who chasing him hard instead of giving him space.

What Do I Do During this Period of Time?

He needs his space to figure things out. You should do the same.

When time is spent apart from one another, emotions settle down a bit, and one can think about things clearly. Including, if you actually want him back or is it just the powerful emotions that have been stirred up post-breakup?

I know it seems like a silly question to ask at this point, but there are plenty of people who come to realize that a particular relationship wasn’t the best for them and there lives. This realization could only take place during a period of no contact.

What should you do after a breakup? Focus on you and what you want for yourself.

Take time to grieve the relationship and how it ended but don’t obsess over it. I always have given myself a set time during the day where I could just feel bad about a break up. BUT I made sure to limit it to just that time.

I would offset that ‘bad feelings time’, with as much positivity as I could experience throughout the day. I would listen to motivational speeches, meditate, read books, exercise, watch comedies, laugh with friends…anything that made me feel better and not wallow in my emotions.

This should be a time of self-improvement and self-realization. Figure out how to address your weaknesses. What about the relationship could’ve been improved? How could you have been a better girlfriend? Anything? Even if this relationship is indeed over for good, use this as a learning experience.

Here are some useful posts about the post-break up time:

 

How Long Should He Be Given Space?

Give it a week or two before testing the waters. If he communicates first, good. If you text him and he still doesn’t seem ready. Wash and repeat the process of giving him a few weeks and then communicating with him.

At a certain point in time, both parties should have a clear idea about whether or not they might consider getting back with one another.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Naturally, we must give the other person space. But when we have allowed the situation to breathe for a bit, we’ll want to reach out and see what he’s wanting to do.

Texting fulfills this need, think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance

 

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Dating

How to Get Out of the Friend Zone with a Girl

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The friend zone is a dreaded no man’s land of the male/female interaction. A guy gets to be close to a woman, but doesn’t get to the next level with her. He isn’t rejected outright like other guys in her life, however, he doesn’t get to enjoy the intimacy that she allows with the guys that she actually dates. It’s a place where you’re stuck in an unrequited pseudo-relationship, with a girl who doesn’t seem to ever have that same attraction…but she still wants you around. The question is obvious, how does a guy get out of the friend zone? Can the relationship dynamic be changed fast?

 

 

 

Is It Possible to Get Out of the Friend Zone?

Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer: Yes, but it can be quite difficult and takes time to pull off. Plus, there is no guarantee of success. As such, a man could put forth a whole lot of time and effort towards getting out of the friend zone, and still be no better off months later.

In my mind, the ‘effort’ to getting out of the friend zone, produces great results both socially and with other women in general. So, even if the girl a guy wants to get with never happens, he is in a fabulous spot either way.

 

The Type of ‘Friendship’ We’re Talking Here

Not all friend zone situations are the same. In this post, I want to get into that unrequited type of admiration or love or whatever you want to label it as. The situation in which the man desperately wants the girl he is ‘friends’ with, has made overtures toward her, and gets romantically rejected. Then, he is stuck with a girl he wants something more with, but doesn’t want him as anything more than a ‘buddy’.

If you’re looking to get out of the friend zone with an ex-girlfriend, I wrote about that here: Ex-Girlfriend Just Wants to be Friends

There are other situations in which the guy thinks he is stuck with the girl, but actually isn’t, and times where he just hasn’t tested the waters yet. Sometimes, a girl in your social circle will actually like you and want to get with you BUT she won’t make the first move (she doesn’t want to be rejected). In that situation, if you want her, you need to make things happen.

Again, I am going to be focusing on the first scenario, in this post.

 

The Fundamental Problem that Needs to Be Resolved

One of the most basic principles that I put forth in terms of dating, is this: Attraction is Perception

If one is not getting sexual attraction from women, it is a problem of how that man is being perceived. Change the perception and you can change the level of attraction. (Side note: I wrote a whole Amazon Kindle book, on how I personally did this, to go from never having a girlfriend to having options whenever I wanted:  Game without Games

Now, when I say this, I am speaking in terms of the general population. For example, if you were to get in ridiculous physical shape, more women would become attracted to you than had been previously. Yet, even with this being true, there would still be some for which the change didn’t move the needle all that much.

You can’t change the perception of every single woman enough to have an attraction towards you. However, you can for a whole lot of them. I would assume in most cases, that a girl who is friends with you, has some level of non-romantic attraction to you. One would then, simply need to stoke that desire within her to make her view you as a viable romantic/sexual partner.

A huge caveat to this, is if you’re dealing with a manipulative woman, who keeps guys around just to use them. For our purposes, I’m going to keep to the assumption that this is not the case, but guys do need to get hip to this possibility.

Back to perception and attraction.

How a man is perceived can have a many magnitude impact on how he is treated within the sexual marketplace. I’ve used this example before, of a man who is a great musician, but who keeps his songs to himself and lets no one else hear them. If this man, walks into a bar, will he get attraction from the ladies? Maybe. Unless, he is some super good looking guy, it probably won’t be an overwhelming one. Heck, he can be wealthy too, but nobody knows it by looking at him.

Okay, so, take the same exact scenario but only change the fact that this man has released his music to the public. He scores multiple Top 10 hits from it and he is now has ‘celebrity’. Nothing has changed about who he is, just other’s perception of him. Does he get more female attraction? Of course! The notoriety completely shifts the perception and the attraction follows.

In the second scenario, he would have as many women as he wanted (presumably), but there’s nothing different about who he is as a person. He is just now ‘more’ attractive because of the incredible power of social status and its effect on the human brain.

Within our society, celebrity is potentially the greatest variable in changing perception, and could have almost overnight changes in the level of attraction. While this isn’t an option for most of us, we can still change perceptions on a smaller scale, in order to (possibly) get the attraction of a woman we desire. Meaning, we can use perception of ourselves to crawl out of the friend zone.

 

How the Friend Zoned Man is Perceived

The man who is stuck in the friend zone is viewed as not a sexually viable option for the woman. Yes, sometimes sex can occur between the two, but it’s usually doled out due to pity or the guy in the friend zone happened to be the only option that night when she was horny. Right place, right time.

The guy doesn’t give her those body tingles and overwhelming urges that the men that she actually wants to date do. The friend zoned man is almost an androgynous character in her eyes, not quite male nor is he a female either. He is a nice, stable option to spend time with, have platonic fun with, and sometimes complain to about the other men that she is actually dating or sleeping with. Anything beyond that garners a response of, “Oh, you’re like a brother to me”.

It’s quite a weird relationship to be in. Like, a man might have women in his social circle that he is friendly with, goes to events together and such; yet there isn’t this other level of being in a sexual purgatory.

Yes, I tie it all to sexual attraction because that is what it boils down to. If a woman wants to sleep with a man, has that intense sexual attraction, she will put up with a lot in order to get it. This is one of the reasons that you see so many girls with guy’s who you would consider to be ‘jerks’ or ‘bad boys’, they give her those special tingles. Androgynous friend zone guys do not. Even if the girl is a virgin, she will still have the strong attraction to the guy who makes her want to have sex, and not the goofy guy she’s friends with.

I don’t think many guys fathom, the true sexual nature, and levels of desire that women have. I mean, even if I hadn’t dated any women during my life, just living in apartments with thin walls, would’ve tipped me off to how much sex/masturbation chicks have. This sort of pedestal worship or idealization of women, can cause a lot of problems in your dating life, but a full discussion is beyond the scope of this post.

The basics of getting out of this situation, is to alter the perceptions about oneself, in order to be regarded as a ‘desirable’ man. A woman has no need to date a man who not only does give her those sexual feelings but also acts like a good little lap dog, who is always at her beck and call.

Here is an on point and funny overview of the ‘Time Ho’ situation, from comedian Patrice O’Neal (my post continues below the embeded video):

Essentially, it is a one sided game. The woman is getting everything she wants from that particular man. Meanwhile, the man is keeping up the facade of being ‘just friends’ with the girl, when that isn’t what he wants at all. He in actuality, either wants to date her or just have sex with her, but is afraid to lose the access he has to spend time with this woman. Thus, the impasse, and feeling like you’re stuck in the friend zone.

The only two ways that I’ve been able to see out of such an impasse are to walk away from this situation (yes, you may have to let go of your ‘friend’) or to alter the perceptions about you that females in general have towards you, and spark the attraction that you want.

 

Getting Out of the Friend Zone

Option #1

As I wrote above, one way out, and the easiest way is to simply stop chasing and walk away (or at least not act like a lap dog and go have your own romantic life outside of this chick). Isn’t it bad to give up on something? Not necessarily. This is especially the case if you’re chasing a woman, simply because the woman has hurt your pride, through this constant low level rejection.

It’s just another sunk cost fallacy, “I’ve spent so much time and effort trying to get with this girl, quitting now would be crazy. I’m probably really close to making something happen!”

At some point, it just becomes ridiculous. What is so damn special about one girl? Now, she may be the best person ever, but the odds are that this really isn’t the case. What about other women? There are billions of them, after all. None of the others, could provide the same level of satisfaction or joy, as this one lady?

I don’t know whether or not this path would be correct for you personally, but I simply ask that you weigh your options, and give it a full consideration.

 

Option #2

All right, so here we are. In order to shift the perceptions about ourselves and get out of the friend zone, we have to understand a little bit about what makes men attractive to women.

Most guys when asked what women look for in a guy, will answer the usual: looks, money, confidence, etc. Plus, they will usually take it as if you don’t have one of those things, then no woman will ever date you. Not the case.

I’ll assume that most guys reading this have grown up playing video games. Whether it is a sports game or an RPG, characters in the game will often have ratings. So, for instance, in Madden or FIFA, a player may be rated 0-99 in speed. This is a player attribute.

In the dating market, men have attribute ratings too. How one fairs in each of these categories will determine how many women are attracted to him. So, yes, one can be extremely good looking and get women based off of that. Just like a faster athlete will be preferable in those sports video games.

However, while you can get attraction based off a single attribute, who a man is in totality will determine his ‘dating success’ with the general female population as a whole. Just like in the game, you may want the fastest athlete, but if he has no other skill set…he’s almost useless. I’ve known plenty of really good looking guys, who got dumped constantly because they either had nothing else going on, or were just awful at expressing their positive attributes.

What a man can do to increase the amount of women that he attracts, is to improve every aspect that makes up who he is, to the best of his ability (before diminishing returns sets in). One gets better in all aspects in order to attract the greatest possible number of women, while each individual woman, will weigh each individual attribute to her personal tastes…this is why you get materialistic gold diggers versus women who really don’t care much about money.

So when guys ask, “Do looks matter?” The answer is yes…to an extent. That extent is determined by that individual woman’s tastes, but among females in general, a good looking man will get more women attracted to him. It’s just common sense. Everything matters, it’s just a changing weighting of importance, on a individual level.

Beyond that, there is also the temporal importance of attributes. Meaning, looks and status, can matter a great deal more in the short term of a relationship and also in the short-lived ‘hook-up’ type relationships than they do in long-term stable relationships.

The most powerful attribute that I have seen or employed myself in getting the initial attraction for any type of relationship, is the personality. No BS here, but a guy who has every aspect of his personality fine tuned, is an absolute machine in terms of attraction. Charisma is extremely potent and why certain folks can walk into a room and just instantly change the entire mood (for the better or worse).

 

Letting Go

Whether one attempts to attract the girl that put him in the friend zone or not, he still must let go of those hyper attachments he has to her. All of the thoughts about her being ‘the one’ or put on a pedestal, have to go.

Why? This is because he is coming from a place of lower value. He doesn’t offer the girl anything by begging and pleading or being super ‘nice guy’. She wants to date a man that she’s attracted to and desperation is never attractive.

Right off the bat, all of the simp-ish gift buying, dinners, and being her sounding board for all of her problems needs to stop.

Hell, that’s not even a real friendship. Even if you wanted to be in a platonic friendship with this girl, the desire for her would have to be let go of, otherwise it’s just the same old friend zone.

To be more than friends, there needs to be more boundaries that are established. Meaning, one needs to have his own life outside of whatever this relationship with this girl, actually is. Don’t always be available, have a social network outside of her, go out with other women!

In short, make your life better and more enjoyable, and stop holding on to all of these feelings. You don’t need to cut her off completely (unless you’re planning on moving on and not trying to get out of the friend zone), but just don’t make it an all the time thing, that you need to hang out with her.

 

Self-Improvement

A man should be constantly working on better himself and his life circumstances regardless of any woman, but self-improvement is also an important part of getting out of the friend zone.

This particular perception that the girl has of you, isn’t one that she sees as yet viable enough to date or at least have sexual interest in. Again, it isn’t always possible to attract an individual woman in particular, but since she is ‘friends ‘ with you there is at least some level of non-sexual attraction.

Now, the key is to combine that non-sexual attraction with some newly developed sexual attraction.

Remember, I said that getting out of the friend zone can take a long while, as there needs to be time to shift perceptions about you enough. So, this can involve lots of work.

 

Physical

Naturally, one of the most noticeable shifts in someone’s perception about you can come from one’s immediate physical appearance. Muscle mass, body fat, hair cuts, etc. can all have a dramatic effect on how you appear and are perceived as a person.

Think about the homeless guys on the street and how they look and are perceived by people as a whole versus the guy in the tailored suit. Big difference, right? Even for women, this holds true, with images of girls with and without makeup. It’s like a completely different person and they get treated as such.

Not every guy will need to be worried about this aspect, but if you need to get into better shape, and have an improved sense of style…do so.

 

Social

A second shift point can within the social realm. Most likely if a guy is obsessed with one chick, it is because he has either limited options to date, or none at all. This puts men into a complete scarcity mindset, in which he is afraid to lose a girl (even if he has no romantic shot with her), because of a potential scenario where no other women will be around if she leaves.

That needs to change. Social scarcity can either be romantic or through having a lack of friends or some sort of expanded social circle of friends/acquaintances.

What does this do to improve your perception? Having more women available to date and more people vying for your time and attention creates demand.  When plenty of girls are interested in a guy, then, other girls tend to become interested…even if they already turned him down or friend zoned him.

I’ve had this happen with ex-girlfriends a lot, who hadn’t shown the slightest interest in me, after the breakup. That is until, they saw me out on the town with other women giving me attention. It didn’t even have to be women that I was dating. It could’ve been friends or random groups of women I had just met socially on the same night, my ex-girlfriends would suddenly perk up and start to pay attention.

They didn’t care about me, until they saw others paying attention to me. Once that happened, it’s like a mix of jealousy or reevaluation, to see if she missed something special when she knew me before. Yes, you can know someone for years, and just a simple shift in how you socialize can make them change how they view you.

This can be hard to pull off but it is extremely effective.

 

Mental

The third area to focus on is the mental side of things. This can be work related to confidence, verbal skills, getting rid of negative thought patterns, and just developing one’s personality in general.

As I’ve said, this is the most powerful aspect that a man can employ in order to attract women. A guy who has a desirable personality, confidence, etc. can cut through all of the usual social/physical barriers that usually makes it more difficult for him to get women.

People notice when someone’s life outlook, personality, and general mental well being has shifted. This can be especially true when it shifts towards the positive.

In terms of getting out of the friend zone, this mostly means getting rid of the neediness, butt hurt, and other negative aspects the guy is bringing to the interaction which is destroying the ability for any physical attraction to be sparked.

Immediate things that can be done, are self evaluations about negative thought patters one may have, meditation, reading to gain perspective on life, becoming less egocentric, and letting go trying to control the outcome of things.

 

Wrapping Up

Getting out of the friend zone with a girl can be a long and difficult process but it can be done.

In order to pull it off, a man has to be able to shift the perception of himself, to one that is more conducive to being desirable. Begging, pleading, or trying to logic or ‘friendship’ your way into having her become attracted simply doesn’t work.

Also, what’s been done up to this point, hasn’t worked either. So, the situation calls for a complete shift in strategy. One in which, the man becomes an attractive romantic candidate, by shattering the old preconceived notions about himself.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Ex-Girlfriend Back After Pushing Her Away

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There are times when you have broken up with a girl, felt fine about it for months, and may have even moved on to some extent with your life. Then, there is the pang of loneliness or even nostalgia about the past. Did I make a mistake? Even after feeling like you have moved on from things and pushing an ex-girlfriend away, there is something inside you that implores you to get her back. Is this a good idea? Can it be done? Let’s take a closer look at things, once one starts to regret letting an ex-girl go.

 

 

Why and What Changed?

So, you pushed her away and now want your ex-girlfriend to come back? The first question that you need to honestly answer is why you did so?

Secondly, what has changed so much that you now need to do a reversal?

A complete 180 in the course of what you wanted after a break up does require some serious inquiry. Ask yourself, what were the fundamental reasons you no longer wanted her around and what were the major flaws in the relationship?

A change of heart can be a good thing, but not if it’s based solely on feelings and nothing concrete. Meaning, if the relationship wasn’t workable before, why is it going to succeed now? If you didn’t want her two months ago, why would you want her to come back?

Feeling lonely, while a powerful driver, is not a good enough basis for a relationship. As once you satisfy those lonely feelings you must contend with the reality that this person, may not be the best fit for your life moving forward. Yes, she may have been great at one point in time, but the two of you might have changed enough to no longer make that true.

Be honest about what you truly want with your life and with a relationship moving forward. What are her flaws that drove you away in the first place? What are the negatives about the relationship? Realistically, can they be resolved or are the beyond repair?

You had your reasons for no longer wanting to be together with your ex-girlfriend, get back to those reasons. Figure out how legitimate they are. Try to approach things with as little emotion and as objectively as you possibly can. This will help you find out if you truly do want to get back together or if you’re just dealing with the emotional aftermath of no longer being together. Relationships can be like addictions and that withdrawal period will almost always stir up a lot of emotional confusion. Don’t make a long-term commitment based on this emotions alone.

Win ex back now

How Did You Push Her Away?

Once one has determined whether or not a true reconciliation is what is wanted and decides against moving on, it is important to consider in what manner she was pushed away.

Was she simply ignored? Let down gently? Was the breakup messy? Was cheating involved? Have you already been dating other girls?

All of these questions and more can play into the odds of whether or not she will actually come back. Even then and even if she forgives, she still may not want to come back any longer. Some people will put up with almost any level of rejection, while others are ready to let go of the relationship, almost immediately.

If it was a clean break and she still seems to be sniffing around or is in contact with you, then, it is usually a much better scenario to start from. It becomes a whole hell of a lot easier to convince someone who wants to come back into the fold to do so, versus someone who holds a high level of bitterness about how things ended.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You Can Fess Up to a Mistake but Don’t Grovel

Once one gets to the point where he knows he wants to get back together and knows how much of a challenge (or a fair estimate) it is going to be to start things back up again, there needs to be a strategy as to how to go about things.

Following the No Contact Rule is a good start. However, it also depends on the circumstances. If the break up was really recent, then following a period of a 4-6 weeks of No Contact can be a really good idea, as it lets the raw feelings settle down.

If it’s been a while and there hasn’t really any been any communication between the two parties, then tacking on a period of No Contact really doesn’t have much effect, and one can move forward with trying to get back together.

One of the main mistakes that guys tend to make, is doing the whole pouring your heart out and begging for forgiveness thing. It’s a highly popular trope on TV and in movies. Much like most dating advice seen in cinema, it doesn’t really work, and can actually backfire.

If you pushed her away by dumping her, you’re coming from a position of strength. Why grovel and beg, it only makes one appear less attractive.

If you pushed her away by being needy, acting even needier isn’t going to help matters.

Avoid going that route, you can admit to mistakes, if they are brought up by her once contact is established but don’t go out of your way to beg for clemency.

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What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Regret Cheating On You

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There are plenty of relationships out there that have been doomed by cheating. When one finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with someone else, this creates a world of hurt and strong emotions. Naturally, after a period of time, the man wants to know that his now ex-girlfriend will regret that decision and feel bad about losing what she once had. So, what’s the best way to make an ex-girlfriend feel pangs of regret? Should you even bother?

 

 

What’s the Goal?

Okay, you’ve been cheated on, and now you have the notion in your head that you need to make your ex-girlfriend regret doing so. May I raise the question as to why you want to make this happen?

I mean, I get it, it can feel good to show someone up or have an ‘I told you so’ moment…but what is it actually going to accomplish for you?

Cheating in relationships happens a lot. Trust me. From both my personal experience and from running this website, cheating is not a rare occurrence and you’re definitely not alone in your feelings towards it.

However, why do you honestly want to direct your life’s energy towards getting some real or perceived feelings of revenge or superiority against someone? She showed you her true colors by cheating, which got you out of a relationship that was going to break bad eventually. Now you have the freedom to pursue what you really want.

I know, I know, telling a guy who has been cheated on not to want to make his ex feel massive regret about it, probably isn’t going to work. BUT I will say that, the way to make her regret cheating is actually the same thing you should be doing after a break up and throughout your life anyway.

 

Success is the Best Revenge

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There is this really strange psychological dynamic between the two parties after a break up occurs. It is a notion that someone has to ‘win’ the break up. Meaning, one person has to do better in terms of their lives and/or the person they decide to date next. A lot of women refer to this as ‘upgrading’ to another man, who they perceives as being of higher value than their ex-boyfriend.

I cannot even fully describe how much I hate this concept and yet how much I have to encounter it. In my view, the broken relationship is like a time capsule of the period of time in which it lasted. Yes, they may be a horrible fit for you now, but they were once great (in at lest some aspects). Would I want to now date girls that I dated in college? Hell no, but they were a good fit for me back then. People change and I don’t have the need to hold a grudge against them for it, even when it ended poorly.

Back to the stirring up of regret in an ex. Now, because people have the need to ‘win’ the break up, the best way to make the regret or get revenge or whatever is to improve your life and future prospects beyond what they thought you were capable of.

Understand that people will always form judgments about you and who they think you are and have the potential to become. When one doesn’t conform to those expectations, it is a blow to the other person’s ego, because they were wrong. If they could be wrong about that, then there is a good chance that they were wrong about cheating or destroying the relationship with you. It’s kind of like selling a stock, right before it triples in value, and then having to deal with the fact you missed out on all of the upside.

So, in order to stir up feelings of regret in her, you should focus on your life and goals. Go out and fucking crush it. Get your career and business going into high gear. Get in better shape. Get more dating options. Work on your self-esteem and feel great everyday.

People are naturally comparative. Most likely, she’ll pretty much be doing the same things a year from now, and her life will seem stagnant when looking toward yours. Don’t think she’ll notice, if your life is amazing without her? Of course she will.

Now, with this being said, I still think you should let go of the idea of wanting to make her regret cheating. Accept it and move forward. Focus your energy on you and not trying to make her feel something. Simply as a byproduct of doing the things you want to improve in your life, she’ll notice and feel regret anyway and you won’t have to carry around all the negativity.

 

A Quick Note

It is indeed possible that she already feels massive regret and guilt about cheating. Even when it appears she doesn’t, that might just be a front, and deep down she knows that it was wrong. People make mistakes and while you don’t have to forgive them, there’s no need to waste your time and try to make an ex-girlfriend express regret either. Try to close that chapter of your life and don’t let her come back, even if she wants to fix things. The short-term of getting cheated on sucks but you don’t need to let it dictate your long-term future or self-worth.