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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Regret Cheating On You

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There are plenty of relationships out there that have been doomed by cheating. When one finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with someone else, this creates a world of hurt and strong emotions. Naturally, after a period of time, the man wants to know that his now ex-girlfriend will regret that decision and feel bad about losing what she once had. So, what’s the best way to make an ex-girlfriend feel pangs of regret? Should you even bother?

 

 

What’s the Goal?

Okay, you’ve been cheated on, and now you have the notion in your head that you need to make your ex-girlfriend regret doing so. May I raise the question as to why you want to make this happen?

I mean, I get it, it can feel good to show someone up or have an ‘I told you so’ moment…but what is it actually going to accomplish for you?

Cheating in relationships happens a lot. Trust me. From both my personal experience and from running this website, cheating is not a rare occurrence and you’re definitely not alone in your feelings towards it.

However, why do you honestly want to direct your life’s energy towards getting some real or perceived feelings of revenge or superiority against someone? She showed you her true colors by cheating, which got you out of a relationship that was going to break bad eventually. Now you have the freedom to pursue what you really want.

I know, I know, telling a guy who has been cheated on not to want to make his ex feel massive regret about it, probably isn’t going to work. BUT I will say that, the way to make her regret cheating is actually the same thing you should be doing after a break up and throughout your life anyway.

 

Success is the Best Revenge

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There is this really strange psychological dynamic between the two parties after a break up occurs. It is a notion that someone has to ‘win’ the break up. Meaning, one person has to do better in terms of their lives and/or the person they decide to date next. A lot of women refer to this as ‘upgrading’ to another man, who they perceives as being of higher value than their ex-boyfriend.

I cannot even fully describe how much I hate this concept and yet how much I have to encounter it. In my view, the broken relationship is like a time capsule of the period of time in which it lasted. Yes, they may be a horrible fit for you now, but they were once great (in at lest some aspects). Would I want to now date girls that I dated in college? Hell no, but they were a good fit for me back then. People change and I don’t have the need to hold a grudge against them for it, even when it ended poorly.

Back to the stirring up of regret in an ex. Now, because people have the need to ‘win’ the break up, the best way to make the regret or get revenge or whatever is to improve your life and future prospects beyond what they thought you were capable of.

Understand that people will always form judgments about you and who they think you are and have the potential to become. When one doesn’t conform to those expectations, it is a blow to the other person’s ego, because they were wrong. If they could be wrong about that, then there is a good chance that they were wrong about cheating or destroying the relationship with you. It’s kind of like selling a stock, right before it triples in value, and then having to deal with the fact you missed out on all of the upside.

So, in order to stir up feelings of regret in her, you should focus on your life and goals. Go out and fucking crush it. Get your career and business going into high gear. Get in better shape. Get more dating options. Work on your self-esteem and feel great everyday.

People are naturally comparative. Most likely, she’ll pretty much be doing the same things a year from now, and her life will seem stagnant when looking toward yours. Don’t think she’ll notice, if your life is amazing without her? Of course she will.

Now, with this being said, I still think you should let go of the idea of wanting to make her regret cheating. Accept it and move forward. Focus your energy on you and not trying to make her feel something. Simply as a byproduct of doing the things you want to improve in your life, she’ll notice and feel regret anyway and you won’t have to carry around all the negativity.

 

A Quick Note

It is indeed possible that she already feels massive regret and guilt about cheating. Even when it appears she doesn’t, that might just be a front, and deep down she knows that it was wrong. People make mistakes and while you don’t have to forgive them, there’s no need to waste your time and try to make an ex-girlfriend express regret either. Try to close that chapter of your life and don’t let her come back, even if she wants to fix things. The short-term of getting cheated on sucks but you don’t need to let it dictate your long-term future or self-worth.

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Feel Confident After Being Dumped by Girlfriend

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Getting dumped by a woman is a complete shock to one’s psychological and emotional systems. Not only does it bring one down and create a sense of longing for ‘better’ times, it can also raise doubts internally, about a man’s self-worth or how confident he should feel in his dating life going forward. Obviously, there are differing levels of impact on confidence. For some guys, it’s just a mere setback, while others experience complete destruction. A guy can also experience different hits to his confidence based on what girl in particular broke up with him and how long the relationship lasted. So, while we all know how it feels to have our confidence devastated post-breakup, how does a man begin to have confidence again? Does one need to start from scratch and build it back up or is there another way?

 

The Fundamentals

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The absolutely fundamental problem that most men have with their confidence is that it is almost entirely based on external factors.

What this means is that, when things are going well in life or when you had success or gotten a woman, you feel great. Really, you should feel great, as there are certainly pleasant experiences in life.

The problem comes into play when we tend to tie in these positive emotions into who we are (or more precisely, who we perceive ourselves to be). So, if we have social or business success, we feel good and then identify that positive boost to our self-esteem with being successful. Obviously, this creates a cycle of needing positive events or external validation to continue to have this level of confidence. Plus, whenever we get a negative experience (like being dumped), it immediately crushes us.

So, our lives then become this roller coaster of self-image. We ascend during the perceived good times and then come down with the full force of gravity during the perceived bad times.

If you get stuck in this paradigm, the only way out of it (and create confidence), is by chasing positive experiences. But as we’ve all experienced, it’s not a very stable way of going about things, and the lows can be extraordinary tough to get through.

 

Coming Off of a Crash

It’s getting closer to 10 years now, since I had my last major crash in confidence. In fact, it was the worst one I ever experienced, and forced me to have to change the way I dealt with confidence, self-image, etc.

There was no other way around it. I was highly depressed, could barely function in life, and began thinking of ending it all. I wrote about this experience in my book, Game without Games, and detailed how things fell apart for me.

I had grown up without very high self-esteem, which also meant few social and romantic opportunities, which fed into the low self-esteem. Later, I learned game (how to pick up women), and started to experience a lot of success. For a while, I felt amazing, my confidence got this huge boost based almost entirely on getting positive external validation from women.

Naturally, this wasn’t sustainable confidence. It was in fact, a complete fraud, there was no actual confidence. I learned this the hard way during the crash, when I had gotten dumped by two consecutive women, was broke, had no real future, and was almost flunking out of college.

For months, I sunk lower and lower, until I completely bottomed out during winter break that year. It was during these dark times, that I began to understand the problems with the popular notions of what confidence is.

Reading Stoic philosophy books, eventually allowed me to pull out of the negativity spiral and sort of reset my brain. The depression/sadness really wasn’t there anymore but for over a year, I felt very little emotion, and essentially rebuilt every aspect of my life. This metamorphosis shaped how I now approach confidence and has allowed me to let go of all of that old emotional baggage.

 

The False Internal Confidence

So, chasing external validation in order to gain confidence is a constant up and down experience. In fact, this is what gets us to this low point after a break up. This then leads to the other common aspect of trying to boost one’s confidence: having a high opinion of oneself in your own mind.

Now, while having a positive view of yourself is obviously a better option than having a low opinion, it is still flawed and can become quite out of touch with reality. I’m fairly sure that each of us has encountered someone, who has utterly convinced themselves of their own ‘greatness’.

They’ve amped up their own self-worth in their mind to unreal heights and then export that to the external world…which gets labeled as confidence, arrogance, egotism, etc. This method leads to a delusional sort of interaction with the world, in which any negative feedback or criticism is dismissed or ignored.

To me, basing your confidence on external sources is like constructing your confidence into a class mirror. It is easily shattered and difficult to pick up the pieces. Going the internal delusion route is like building a brick wall of confidence. Sure, it’s harder to penetrate, but it can still be busted through if the feedback you’re experiencing is bad enough.

 

Moving to Acceptance and True Confidence

I think that many people misconstrue self-confidence or social confidence with that of a skill based activity. We say that you must ‘build’ self-confidence, as if it is something that needs to be constructed, instead of being inherent in who we are.

For instance, if someone were to hand me a bow and arrow and told me to hit a target, I would not be confident in the outcome of that event. I might get lucky and pull off a positive result but I don’t have the requisite skills to have a high level of confidence. However, this use of the word confidence is not the same, as the one we are discussing here. As such, the prescription for improving confidence should not be entirely the same.

Technique training and practice would solve my archery practice, but not help me be at ease with my internal self. This is true at least past a certain point, as their may be some learning and practice required to truly internalize and make a shift on how self-confidence is viewed.

For me, I boiled down my lack of self-confidence to a non-acceptance of what is. Meaning, I was always chasing or trying to live up to a narrative of what me and my life needed to be instead of just allowing it to be. So, if I didn’t have a girlfriend, I felt like a loser or like I wasn’t ‘enough’.

I realized more and more how approaching my life in this way was having absolutely terrible results. Why in the hell did I need to become something in order to feel normal? Why was it that when I reached a certain level of social or financial success, I could still feel inadequate? Why should I keep believing this narrative in my mind about what I need to do to feel confidence, if it keeps leading me astray? What if I were to stop following these old ideas and just accept the fact that I am enough as is and don’t need to keep chasing some vague ideal self?

Learning to accept each moment of my life as it came about was a huge and life altering shift in perspective. I no longer needed anything to feel confident because I just trusted that I was already enough. Sure, I could make my life more enjoyable and pleasurable by having a girlfriend or getting a lot of dates or making money or whatever…but they were no longer requirements that I had to fulfill in order to be content with my self.

It’s a freeing experience because once you accept that you’re enough, you become free to explore the world around you without reservation. Criticism and rejection don’t make you feel low or terrible about life because there isn’t an attachment to some narrative in your head about what you’re ‘supposed’ to be.

You simply exist and can determine whether criticism is legit or if it is simply someone projecting their problems on to you or trying to hurt your feelings. You no longer internalize these supposed negative experiences, as there isn’t a self-image or narrative that you need to protect.

And, no, it doesn’t make you lazy or stop striving in life. On the contrary, I’ve gotten better results in every area of my life since the shift, because I can be completely honest with myself. I don’t have to deny reality in order to spare my feelings. If things aren’t going well with women or in social interactions, I can make adjustments to how I approach things, and not fly into a depressive episode because “nobody likes me”. It’s more of an “Oh, I should probably speak slower and more clearly in future conversations” or “Try to listen more and be more empathetic with others”.

It’s an amazing way to live because you start to get good at the things you do at a much faster rate.

 

The Post-Breakup

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

The unique part of the time period after getting dumped, is having to deal with the strong emotions. These are going to be there no matter what, since our brain likes to develop an addiction like attachment to our girlfriends, and so we experience these intense withdrawals.

While the physical sensations will still be there, we don’t have to follow the negative thought patterns that seem to accompany the intense emotions. I always like to disrupt the negative thought as it arises and then question its validity. Why am I thinking this way? What purpose it is serving? Is it only reinforcing this low confidence narrative?

Things can become much easier to deal with once you can recognize thoughts as simply thoughts and not take them as some sort of gospel truth. Our mind can lead us down rabbit holes and have us endlessly repeat the past, even when it serves no actual learning purpose…it’s like a TV show playing on a loop, at some point it’s been enough and time to move on.

Here are some posts about the post-breakup period:

 

Where to Start?

In order to let go and accept things as they are, one has to be able to constantly recognize and let go of the thought patterns which help cause poor confidence. Daily meditation is the best way that I have found to pull myself out of the internal narrative and view things from a more objective point of view.

The daily shift in my mindset is what allowed me to really make the change in perspective permanent and then no longer need the constant validation to derive some confidence. There are plenty of guided meditations on YouTube and other platforms that can get you started. It can take some time to fully take hold and shift one’s perspective, but it can be totally worth it in the long-term.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Over an Ex-Girlfriend You Have to See Everyday

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The time after a break up is obviously pretty tough. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be online searching topics about it, and instead be watching some random YouTube clips. It can be doubly hard to deal with, when you have to see an ex-girlfriend on a regular basis. Sometimes, we dated someone that we work with, go to school with, or have a lot of common social connections and avoidance becomes super difficult. Fear not, I am going to reveal the main tool that I use to not only deal with having to see someone each day, but even getting to the point where it causes zero bother. Oh and it helps in the rest of your social life, as well.

 

 

The Object vs. The Concept

Why is it painful or aggravating to have to see an ex-girlfriend all of the time after a break up?

Is it due to her actual physical presence being around you? Nope.

It has nothing at all to do with her. Rather, it has everything to do with how you view her in your mind.

Think about it. If you suffered some sort of amnesia or short-term memory loss, an ex-girlfriend could sit right next to you, and it would have none of the same effect that it currently does. It once again, has nothing to do with her, and is all in how your mind is perceiving and making judgments of her and the past relationship.

This is a huge breakthrough to come upon because you no longer have to ‘get away’ from an ex, in order to feel good about your day to day life. You can see them at work or school or socially and be completely indifferent about it.

What you actually must do is to learn to let go off the conceptions that you have of her and the attachment to the now defunct relationship. Once this is achieved, you get some serious mental freedom, and zero fucks given if she is around or not.

 

Letting Go of the Concept

A lot of other people will suggest that you distract yourself or turn your attention towards someone else. To me, that doesn’t really help at all. You then, just allow attachments to grow for another girl or you just bury feelings in work or some other distraction.

I have found that the only true way to let go is through meditation techniques. Also, you can supplement this with readings in Stoic philosophy, if you really choose to do so.

People inexperienced with mindfulness meditation and breathing techniques can often not see how such a practice would benefit them. It doesn’t have to involve any religious aspect or mysticism. Meditation can be used to clear one’s mind, let go of negative emotions, and stop the stream of thoughts that can make a guy feel trapped that he has to see his ex-girlfriend.

Not only that, meditation can begin to effect every other part of your life in a positive way. For me, it allowed me to fully let go of my anger issues, depressed feelings, and always having to compare myself to other people.

Socially, it allowed me to stop feeling so self-conscious and helped tremendously when approaching/picking up women. When you meditate on a regular basis, you reach such clear and vibrant states of mind, it becomes very difficult to become flustered by life. If you can play it cool around women, their attraction towards you will often go through the roof.

You stop having the same level of attachment to things or thoughts. You no longer feel as if you need to chase or follow your thoughts down a rabbit hole. In terms of having to see an ex-girlfriend, this means a reduction of: worrying about what she thinks of you, reminiscing about old times, feeling desperate longing to get back together, etc.

Again, I know a lot of people who have preconceptions about meditation or don’t get why it is helpful…but it can be an absolute game-changer. It can take time to properly learn how to focus one’s mind, so stick with it, and the benefits will come.

 

Get Started

Since I can’t really teach you directly, how to meditate. I am instead going to post a number of videos that I’ve used and continue to refer back to. Using guided mediations can be useful at first, like training wheels, until you become comfortable doing everything on your own.

The great thing about mediation techniques is that they can be done at any time, eventually. You have to first learn how to do it, but as your practice deepens, you can bring yourself into the present moment even in a loud/crowded room. I do brief meditations to focus myself all the time, even when in a bar, and I have to go approach some woman that I’m interested in.

I literally cannot stress enough to you, how much making mediation a regular practice, made my social anxieties drop away. This has been my greatest freedom.

I am going to start off with the first two videos. They are short and I use them back to back, when I can’t seem to focus myself. Both techniques start about midway through each video, so, the actual meditation/breathing techniques should last 12-15 minutes combined.

Start off doing these twice a day, if possible. Either once in the morning or at night. Or right before you have to see the ex or go out and socialize. If not, just find time when you can do it, and be consistent.

 

I cant embed the second video, but here is the YouTube link: Kim Eng Guided Breathing Meditation

 

Both of the first two videos are short and allow a letting go to take place by focusing on the breath.  Once comfortable and seeing progress with those two videos, you can move on to a longer meditation session (or just do one of these later in the day, if you have time).

 

 

There you have it. These should get one started on the path and allow for a significant reduction in the obsessive thoughts, if not an outright freedom from the mental anguish of seeing an ex-girlfriend on a daily basis. If you can change or alleviate the thoughts about a person, their presence around you will have very little negative effect. I’ve used this for many years now, with amazing personal success…so hopefully it helps others too.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend Sleeping with Someone Else

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After a break up it isn’t uncommon for people to still have feelings for their exes. Now, these feelings can become intensified by the thoughts of their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends being romantically and/or sexually involved with someone else (sometimes this is all in their imagination and their ex is still single!). Once you have spent so much time with one person and have had an extremely close and intimate relationship with them, it can feel absolutely awful to see them developing that connection with another woman. For some folks, this scenario can absolutely become an unbearable reality from which that have a difficult time letting go and moving on from. How can one accept their ex-boyfriend sleeping with someone new and move forward with their life?

 

 

 

Jealousy and Ego

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Sexual jealousy and emotional turmoil is pretty interesting when we think about an ex. Like, when the two of you met, your ex-boyfriend probably wasn’t a virgin (maybe he was) but we tend not to have the same negative obsessiveness about the people that he had sex with before you. It really doesn’t cross our radars as much because he is, after all with you now. The people in the past, prior to your relationship, really aren’t that big of a deal.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

When the breakup takes place and he starts to sleep with other women, why does it suddenly bother you more? Him having sex with someone new doesn’t diminish you as a woman. It doesn’t negate the previous relationship that you had with him, as it’s already taken place in the past and played out fully. In reality, what is there to be bothered about? Much of this problem occurs when comparison between yourself and the new women come about. Once you start to think of yourself in competition with someone else, how are you ever going to let go of these intense emotions?

There is also this extreme sense of ownership that one tends to get with an ex-boyfriend. This faulty notion of him, ‘being mine’, which is completely false. People are not possessions. They are independent beings, who may choose to become involved in a mutually beneficial relationship, with another person. There was a time after all, before the two of you had ever met, and he was seeing other women. Would you care about it then? No. Why? He was just some random guy and not something that was ‘yours’…you didn’t have the illusion of possession.


Get to the Core

One way to deal with and get past the emotional jealousy that one can feel when thinking about an ex-boyfriend sleeping with another woman is to reduce it to its base. Utilize the reductionist mode of thinking to break these thoughts down into clinical terms. What is actually occurring? A man sticks his penis inside a vagina, where is skin comes into contact with her. Friction occurs from thrusting in and out until finally there is an intense spasming and some goo shoots out. That’s it. That’s what we get so many bad feelings about.

Is it really all that upsetting that he is doing that with someone else?

Once you have taken the thought of the act itself down to the base, begin to do the same with the emotions. How is this sexual act by two people (who aren’t you) harming me? Does him having sex, reduce your value as a woman? Does this negate your previous relationship? Does your ex-boyfriend having a new lover somehow stop you from finding another romance for yourself? Will you even care about this in six months? A year? Ten years?

The pain and anguish in the short-term occurs because of the attachment we’ve grown towards that person plus the narrative in our minds about them and the previous relationship. All these thoughts and memories play back on a constant loop and stir up emotions that we’ve have attached to them. This has a snowball effect, the more we think about it and attach emotions to them, the stronger these memories and feelings become. We completely buy into whatever story our minds have created about a situation whether it has any actual basis in reality or not.

What this Boils Down to

The key is not to just grit it out or cope with these feelings. The key is to become aware of them as they bubble up and not let them take control of yourself. Recognize the anger or other feeling when it arises. Observe it. Are you that anger? Do you have to let it ‘become’ who you are? Can you observe this feeling, recognize where it is coming from, feel it, and then let it go? Don’t become a victim in your own mind, even if it’s justified, as it will only serve to create another story in your head which will loop continuously and drag you down with it. It is easier to get angry or depressed about these things but letting them go is a much more effective way to deal with them.

 

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Should I Take Back My Ex-Girlfriend After She Dumped Me?

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There are plenty of end of the relationship scenarios in which, the lady who broke up with the guy, has time to think on what they’ve done and decides that dumping that man was a bad choice. This can happen for a multitude of reasons. In some cases, they acted on pure emotion in the moment of the break up, and later panicked when the logical part of their brain came back online. Other women, go out into the dating world, and have a rough time finding a man who will commit to them or guys that are even decent people. For whatever the cause, the man who got broken up with in the first place, now has to decide whether they even want this woman back in a relationship. Is it even a good idea to take you ex-girlfriend back after she dumped you? The answer is of course, going to depend wholly only your unique circumstances but let us look toward some things to consider.

 

Why Did the Break Up Happen in the First Place?

The first consideration and issue to identify is, why did your ex break up with you in the first place? What were her stated reasons and also can you identify any other reasons that she never mentioned BUT you have a feeling was a problem?

Take a good look at the reasoning behind the break up.  Were they frivolous? Or were they made in haste? If a girl would break up with you over almost nonsensical issues, is she actually a good long-term fit or does she have a big immature streak? What kind of actual commitment are you going to get from someone who is so flippant with their reasons for leaving?

Another potential issue is whether or not she broke up with you to date another guy or to play the field. If she left to go explore a dating life outside of the one she had with you, how serious can she possibly be? She didn’t like being tied down before and now she’s ready to jump into a committed relationship again? Hmmm…that would make me think for a while.

I’m not saying that a girl coming back, doesn’t truly want to be together with you. However, you also have an obligation to yourself to do your due diligence and question, why now? If the situation was so bad in the past, that she had to leave, what would make it suddenly better? Did she have some kind of revelation or did she learn how tough the dating world can be and ended up feeling lonely?

You cannot just be under the assumption that she is ready to really be together with you. She might be emotionally all over the place, confused about what she truly wants, and sees you as a situation that is familiar to her.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

Is Anything Actually Different this Time Around?

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Now, that you have narrowed in on the reasons that the breakup took place and potentially why she wants back in, ask yourself…what has actually changed? How is the failed relationship going to succeed on the second go round? Since there were a set of problems that doomed the relationship, there must be answers to solve those issues. If not, things will eventually collapse again, usually after a ‘honeymoon’ period where things are all good.

Were most of the problems of the relationship caused by you or by her? Are the negatives that you brought to the table, things that you are willing or able to fix? What about her, what will she do to make things work better this time?

Change is a very difficult thing for most people to truly do. They can make surface level changes easily but digging deep down and actually altering their fundamental being or lifestyle habits is hard.

Don’t chase what went well in the past because any new situation is basically a new relationship, as the old one could not be maintained for the long haul. Can you actually see the changes that need to take place happening? This should factor into whether or not to take an ex-girlfriend back.

 

What Do You Want in Your Life?

The post-breakup situation causes life to shift, often in dramatic ways. After going through the whole time period of being alone, what is it that you want from life now? Does she even fit in your plans any more? Do you honestly want to go down the path of reconciliation or are you just dealing with the pull that strong emotions can have after a relationship ends?

There is a tendency to begin thinking about all of the good times spent with one another. However, the negatives cannot be glossed over or overlooked because they will arise once again in any new version of the relationship. Don’t get stuck in the mindset of believing that everything was rosy, when there were fundamental problems with the situation, between you and your ex-girlfriend.

If there is still a great deal of uncertainty, try not to rush back into things with her. You can still consider it but don’t let strong emotions overpower your judgment. This can especially be the case if you’re in transition with the other areas of your life such as career, where you’re living, education, or even just wanting to start fresh on your own. Rushing back into a dysfunctional relationship can alter your other life plans and then that reconciliation will eventually fail too…which can waste both of yours time and effort.

Really take the time to properly consider everything about the relationship, her, and what you want for your life. With time, a clearer understanding will come to light. If after a thorough investigation into whether or not to get back together, you’re still unsure, then the best answer is probably a firm no. You cannot be unsure about this, because the problems will simply come up again in the future.

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Is It Ever Too Late to Get My Ex-Boyfriend Back?

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As time passes after a break up, a thought will gather in many people’s heads, it’s a question to whether or not it is still possible to get their ex-boyfriend back. It’s been a few months, is it too late to reconcile and begin anew? Once a split happens the drift starts to begin and the person you were once dating, now has possibly moved in a different direction and has a new set of wants, needs, etc. The problem lies in the fact, that one party has started the transition out of the old relationship, while the other is still wanting to re-kindle things. When exactly is it too late to get back with an ex-boyfriend? Is it ever?

 

When is it too Late?

On some level, it really ‘never’ is too late to get back together with an ex. That being said, it’s usually limited to specific circumstances, once an extreme amount of time has occurred since the break up. There are people who have broken up for years and then gotten back together, so, yes it’s possible. Is it a sound idea to do so? That depends.

The old relationship is done. So, even if you get back together with a boyfriend, it’s a completely new thing (albeit familiar). Don’t make the mistake of thinking that things will be the same as they were before, they won’t. People change and mature constantly. Things and people that interested you ten years ago, probably do not now. This kind of shift can also take place over the course of months, if someone is really determined to change fundamental things about their lives. Just keep in mind before pursuing that any underlying issues of the old relationship would have to be resolved and that it’s not going to be the same relationship, just a new incarnation.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

These ‘long periods of time in between the two relationships’ relationships are possible but know that the longer the time, the more unlikely it becomes. I would be really hard pressed to even consider getting back together with girls that I dated years ago. I couldn’t picture it working out, now that my life and desires are so completely different. A period of months isn’t insurmountable but years might be.

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Why?

Get down to the nitty gritty of your motivations. Why exactly do you want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend? Is it really about him and how great he is or does it have more to do with your general unhappiness, loneliness, lack of direction in your life, or some other factor?

What about the situation has changed that makes you feel that the relationship will work out this time around, when it just got done failing on the first try? What’s really different? Is it really anything or is this just chasing after the past and your fond memories of it?

It can be really tough to move on, especially when there isn’t a clear path in our lives as to where exactly we are supposed to move on to. It is a confusing time and our brain makes it worse by reminding us of a time when it felt as if things made much more sense. Sometimes, despite all of the emotional evidence to the contrary, it is actually the best course of action for our lives to simply move on. It is the correct decision to let go of the past and not try to patch things up with our exes.

All of this wanting to get back together with your ex-boyfriend might be a masking of a general lack in your life as a whole or uncertainty about what it is you truly want. As such, one can often chase after the wrong things in life, if you don’t get in touch with what you really want.

 

When Should You Consider Moving On?

The first point that I’d say, is that, after a deep search of yourself and consideration of what you want from it. If after all of that, you have serious doubts about getting back together, then that is a very noticeable sign that it is time to move forward alone.

If all the signs are pointing to just being unhappy about where you are currently in your life, then things should become about you and not focused on trying to get back together with someone else. You are the foundation, happiness in relationships can only stem from you being content with what is.

Also, if you’ve been trying to get back with an ex for a while, exhausted your strategies, and gotten nowhere…it might be time to hang it up for now. That doesn’t mean that it is never possible to get back together with them, just not at this point in time. They may want to go a completely different route with their lives and that route may not include you. Accept their decision, it’s their life, and their choice to make.

The third point is, if this trying to get back together with or chasing of your ex-boyfriend is hurting your life, it is probably time to let go. You cannot sacrifice your well-being based on some vague notion of reconciliation with a person who might not want to reconcile. Don’t allow your brain to concoct some narrative, where it’s some great tragedy that this person didn’t want you back or that it’s somehow romantic to chase after someone for years…it isn’t.

Things in life change and people flow in and out of our lives all of the time. That’s life, that’s how it works for everyone. At some point, you can no longer resist change, and have to just go with the flow.

It really is never ‘too late’ to get back with an ex, depending on the situation. There are a ton of variables that will effect your current situation and the likelihood of such a reconciliation taking place. However, despite the odds, there are perfectly legitimate reasons for letting go and moving forward without them too. Take the time to truly figure out what it is that you want.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

My Ex-Boyfriend Blocked Me on Facebook (Social Media)

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Alright, so, a breakup has occurred and at least for a while, the lines of communication were still open. Now, something has happened and for some reason(s), your ex-boyfriend has blocked your account on Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Instagram, or another social media platform. What do you do now? Why did this happen? I suppose for the younger generation of lovers, getting blocked on one of these social media sites is a big deal, as such I’ll have to address it in this post. I’m am going to write this in a more generalized style, so that it’s applicable to all of these kinds of sites/apps and not just Facebook as a standalone issue.

 

Is This Actually a Huge Problem?

On this website, I don’t usually take the approach of telling people to always get back with their ex, nor do I tell them to pursue at all costs. The reasoning behind this approach, is that, I know what an emotional state I was in after past break ups. I would have done just about anything to get one of my ex-girlfriends back, at those points in time, even when it wasn’t the best option for my life. The emotions made me want them back much more than any logical justification, that I could come up with in my head.

This being the case, I must first put forth the question, is this actually a huge deal that you were blocked on social media? Is this upsetting you more than it actually should? Is this an indicator that you should prepare to move forward with your life, even if there is still a chance to get back together with your ex-boyfriend? Yes, this can absolutely hurt bad, in the short-term. Plus, it’s difficult to imagine things getting better while you’re experiencing the breakup in the here and now. However, learning to let go is a major part of the healing process and a part of being in relationships.

Win ex back now

Maybe, your ex-boyfriend blocking you on Facebook or Instagram, can aid in the healing process. Being bombarded by someone’s image everyday, seeing what they’re up to, and thinking about them thereafter only serves to reinforce the mental feedback loop of expectation. Your brain expects to see them and can then cause negative emotions when that feedback doesn’t take place.

Add to the fact, that social media is ultimately not real life. People can build images and personas of themselves on there, that has no actual reflection in reality. Seeing the images, status updates, and all of the rest of the stuff can just stir up jealousy and make things in the aftermath of the relationship worse…even make it more difficult to get back together.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

What Was the Reason that He Blocked Your Facebook?

Why did he block you? It is possible that this was merely a short, over-reaction on his part. It may be a short-lived time in the penalty box, so to speak, before he reverses his decision and unblocks you. This could have been done because he was just really mad at you about something or he is having trouble dealing with the break up and doesn’t want to see anything that reminds him of you at this time.

There is also the other possibility, that this is for the long haul. He blocked you because at this point in time, he doesn’t want you involved in his life and the new direction that he is taking it in.

There probably isn’t a way of knowing if this is a shorter-term or longer-term situation, one will have to wait it out until the picture becomes clearer. I believe that it’s always best to prepare for the longer term situation, in which, you have to grow and learn to live your life again as an individual…and not as a part of the now broken relationship. Things may get fixed down the line, but it’s a good idea to plan for a likely scenario, so that you’re not just floating through life being lost and with no direction.

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

What was the Severity of the Block?

Was it simply Facebook that he blocked you on? If it was only on that platform, that’s a good sign, that it could lean towards the him being upset side of things. Or was this an across the board communications ban? Did it include the phone, Instagram, Whatsapp, and Snapchat? If it was an across the board block, it’s probably going to be a while, that one will be stuck in the realm of No Contact.

If it was only on one platform, like Facebook, it is best to let things be at the moment. Don’t overreact and push him further away by trying to bombard him with messages or by getting upset that he blocked you. Not all is lost in this scenario, as you still have lines of communication open…just lay off of the messaging for a while. Take this time to continue to improve your emotional situation and get a clear head about things.

On the flip side, if all lines of communication have been cut off, there is nothing you can really do in the intermediate term. You will have to take a wait and see approach, as to whether you might be able to talk with him sometime down the line. He may be really pissed or hurt by something you did. If it was cheating, for example, then it’s to be expected that he isn’t going to be open to talking very much with you for a decent chunk of time (or maybe ever).

How should you handle getting blocked on social media? The answer is essentially, do nothing. This doesn’t mean never do anything, just bide your time, and wait for some clarity to appear in the situation. Sometimes, this is the best prescription, as taking action might only serve to dig the hole deeper or cause him to lose even more interest if you start to chase him. Maybe it’s best to say that you aren’t ‘doing nothing’, rather, you are giving him the space he needs to cool off and get over what’s bothering him.

So, do this:

  • Treat the relationship as if it is completely over
  • Deal with emotional baggage and loneliness
  • Find new hobbies, opportunities, friends, dates, etc. to help spark positive change in your life
  • If the lines of communication do open up eventually, reevaluate if you still even want to try to fix this relationship with your ex-boyfriend.

 

Understand that: the outcome of the situation is not under your complete control. He is going to do what he is going to do and you cannot force him to want to talk to you. What you can do is play the odds, towards the best possible outcome. In the situation of getting blocked on Facebook, the best way to play the hand you’ve been dealt is to, not panic and sit pat.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Chase You

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Alright, so, you’ve been through the ringer of the post-breakup period and now want to make your ex-girlfriend to want you back again. Not only do you want her back, you want her to do the ‘chasing’ in the process. Well, that’s a fine wish, but how do you go about getting her to miss you enough to want to come after you and rekindle things? In this post, I’m going to break down some considerations before embarking on such a quest and spell out exactly what it takes to make a girl chase a man.

 

Is This What You Really Want?

Before we get started in the hows and whys of getting a girl to pursue you, I want to write a bit of a caution about making this a goal. If we are focusing on trying to alter the behavior of one girl, we aren’t particularly focused on ourselves and what is directly within our control. There is no guarantee that you can ever get a girl back and most of the time, it frankly isn’t worth bothering. Secondly, it kind of puts our ego’s in control, where we are trying to prove how awesome we are to ourselves, that we can get a woman to chase after us. I mean, it’s a different experience from the norm but isn’t necessarily a worthwhile pursuit or use of our time.

Thirdly, part of this process involves getting other women attracted to us. As such, our interest will naturally be diffused, and by the end of it you probably won’t even want your ex-girlfriend around. It can take us men awhile to fall in love, but once we do, we are locked in on this one girl. Especially, if she becomes your only real option as a female companion. However, when we have multiple chicks around, we don’t really get the ‘you’re my one and only’ feelings and tend to just sit back and accumulate more women.

OK, that is my brief pitch against bothering to attempt this. Now, let’s get into it.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

Why Would She Chase You?

The current status quo of the relationship has made her the object of desire and not you. In order to get a girl to chase, you must be the prize, you must be the desirable man. We allow this to happen by our obsession on the physical appearance and our sexual thirstiness…we tend to have no control over our sexual desire as men. When you lose control of your desire, the power of the relationship is shifted to her, as sex is her weapon of control.

Think about it:

  • She’s had you already
  • You still want her
  • Other guys want her
  • Few girls (maybe) want you

What exactly are you offering in this situation, that she cannot easily obtain whenever she wants?

This state of affairs is considered normal because that’s most of the relationships that we see around us. It’s almost a spectacle to us men, when we see a guy who has a bunch of women around him, and gives zero fucks about losing them. I wrote a whole book on this subject, of my own personal shift and how to cultivate becoming the desirable man, after many years of going through the same type of thing with girls. Getting girls attention, dating them, and then ultimately losing them because I didn’t have the requisite skill/lifestyle to keep them coming back for more and more.

Understand that, she already liked you, but after dating you she’s now tired of your whole vibe. You currently aren’t in a position to be chased because there isn’t anything inherently appealing about such a proposition for her. She has been deemed the desirable one in the current arrangement by your actions, this includes: texting her too much, trying too hard to get back with her, acting jealous, making her the most important thing in your life (still…after a breakup), and all the other desperate guy seeking behavior.

If you want the situation to be flipped, you cannot continue the same pattern of behavior, this is the first step in getting a girl to chase.

Perception of Value

Human interaction is based solely on our perceptions. In terms of the interactions between male and female, her response towards you, is based on how she perceives you in any given moment. Things are always different from moment to moment, it is just that our perception of time and the changes that occur down to a microscopic level are limited. This causes us to view ourselves as static beings most of the time. We get narratives in our heads from our own thoughts or external influences which tell us that we are shy, nerdy, not good enough, etc. None of these are static conditions of life but our thought patterns make them seem to be. The more we identify with these conditioned thoughts, the more they become our perceived reality.

A man’s perceived value at any given time is malleable to some extent, with the greater amount of time, having the most profound effects on it. This is why, you can get rejected by a hot girl in high school, and a few years later have her thinking you are extremely hot…due to whatever positive alterations you made to effect external perceptions about you. It could be the way you walk, talk, look, or whatever. Value, is a very fluid thing for men. We can boost our perceived value because it is based more on a totality of who we are as a man versus women who are greatly confined by their physical attractiveness.

This perception of value is why some guys have multiple women at all times while others are forever alone.

As an example, let’s imagine that there are two guys, Guy #1 and Guy #2. Four women have both of these men as their dating options…let’s see what these guys are all about.

Guy #1: Good looking, successful, educated, carries himself with confidence, social, socially connected, has many options to date.

Guy #2: Not great looking, out of shape, lives with his mom, has zero social skills, and dates his left hand (and occasionally switches to righty)

Each woman gets to choose one of the two men independently of the decisions made by the other women. Which guy will they all choose (outside of one having a fetish for scrubs)? Obviously, Guy #1, as his perceived value is much higher. Not only that, these women will prefer to share that first guy over Guy #2, because of this value gap.

Some kind of acceptance is made by the women, who intuitively know that Guy #1 has other women around, BUT since they have no interaction with the other women they are willing to date him also. It’s sort of an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ phenomenon, where since the girls don’t directly know about one another, they will gladly share him. Now, this arrangement might not be tenable for the long run, but even when the women leave Guy #1, Guy #2 will still be home alone.

That’s the level that many guys can find themselves at…chicks would rather be the side piece for an ‘attractive man’ versus being the steady girlfriend/wife of the guy with seemingly few redeeming qualities.

Now, in order to get an ex-girlfriend to be interested in you enough to chase, your perceived value needs to be raised in her eyes. This usually requires that your value be raised in the eyes of lots of other women too. Raising your value, so to speak, can be a long-term process for lots of guys…which is why it’s mostly a good idea to just move on from your ex. However, some guys, already have the social skills to make things happen and in that case it makes sense to back off from communication with your ex-girlfriend and go full on into creating a bad ass lifestyle, that would perhaps make her reconsider.

Let’s explore some ways to alter the perception the external world has of you (your ex-girlfriend in particular) and how this flips the script to make you seem really desirable.

Downgrade Her Credit Rating with You

I’m taking a financial concept and applying it here. As your girlfriend, she was AAA rated…meaning, she had complete access to you and your life whenever she wanted, on very good terms. That is the benefit of being your girlfriend. Now, that the two of you are no longer together, her credit rating gets docked significantly. She gets treated like every other girl and the full access is over with.

What this means in practical terms is that you pay very little attention to her and you aren’t in communication with her, unless she reaches out to you first. Even then, keep it as bare bones as possible. Don’t be mean or bring up old relationship baggage but be cordial and non-needy.

The reason why this is such a crucial element to getting a girl to chase you, is that, both trying to bombard her with texts and being always available is chasing behavior. You cannot be chased if you are the one chasing.

If the relationship is over, you no longer have the responsibility to treat her as your girlfriend. She doesn’t get the special treatment because the verbal agreement of ‘being together’ is now null and void. She has to get in line for your time, just like anyone else would.

 

Bring in the New Recruits

There is this weird concept of ‘winning’ a breakup that is going around and women especially seem to really buy into this notion. It’s basically the idea that one side is doing better than the other in the aftermath of a doomed relationship, making it into some kind of competition, instead of just remembering the good times together and moving forward. You shouldn’t give a flying fuck about ‘winning’ a break up but you should recognize that women will always compare who comes after them and tend to notice when their ex-boyfriends have a ton of options.

So, this is one of the reasons I’m hesitant to suggest that guys attempt to make their ex’s start to chase them. Many guys simply don’t have the necessary skills at this point in their development to bring in new women quickly when they have a break up. It kind of makes it hard to get someone to really want you, if nobody else seems all that interested. It’s supply and demand in action. Always know that there is no guarantee a girl will come back to you. However, you should still take your new found freedom, as an opportunity to improve your life in every facet.

The absolutely quickest way to meet lots of women in a short amount of time is through an app like Tinder. You can also leverage the new Tinder Social feature to hang out with groups of people and seriously ramp up the amount of contacts, friends, and ladies you have available. If you’re decent at utilizing this app, you can turn it into two dates per week easily. The two best dates, that I have found, are either inviting the girl along when you’re already going out with your friends to a bar (even better if she brings friends too) or having a designated bar close to where you live in which you go meet her for drinks. The first option is great because it builds comfort and she gets to see you interacting with others. The second is great because it takes less of your time, you already know what to order to save money, and since you’re close by your house it is easy to get her to come over afterwards.

Now, I’m not going to get into a step by step breakdown of how to pick up girls or how to have a successful date, as it is beyond the scope of this post. However, in order to have any girl chase you, there must be other girls who want to chase you as well. Having lots of women around acts as sort of a multiplier effect, which brings even more women, and things just grow from there. Exes always notice who it is you’re dating after them and if you suddenly have lots of girls buzzing around, the idea that she may have made a mistake could take hold (again, this is why I don’t like trying to make an ex chase, it’s way too involvement to waste on one girl).

 

Get Social

Beyond just having more girls around, building an active social life is also important. Most girls don’t want to be with a complete loner and having lots of options socially at the very least creates the illusion of having a lot going for you. You can join groups, play sports, and do whatever else it takes to meet and hang out with new people. Think about it, if your ex girlfriend suddenly saw a bunch of social photos or commitments of you on her Facebook timeline, would she realize that perhaps you aren’t wallowing and spending your time thinking about her? If others want to spend so much time with you, doesn’t that make you inherently more attractive?

 

Get Physical

The easiest change to make in one’s life is a change to the body. Getting in shape is like improving your resume with women, it may not always get you the job, but it will usually get you an interview opportunity. Some guys may not need this aspect, however, if you could drop 20-30 in the next 4-6 months and get into fantastic shape, it can make an immense difference to how all girls respond towards you (including an ex). This was a huge part of my own life, putting on muscle and dropping fat, got me soooo many more girls than I had before. Add that, to good social skills and a cool life, and you’ve got an attractive recipe.

 

Get Your Life Together

OK, beyond just getting girls, friends, and getting into shape…get your life together! Your ex-girl probably had long-term plans for you at one point in time, right? Meaning, she possibly could have seen herself marrying you or something along those lines. Why would any woman, go for a guy who doesn’t have much going on for himself? This includes education, career opportunities, starting your own business, or just following through on all the dreams/promises that you made to yourself or her. Even if she never comes back, do yourself the favor off getting things on track to where YOU want to go with your life.

 

Putting this All Together

A girl will only chase you if you and your life situation are appealing to her. An ex will only chase you, if she is returning to something that is different and much better than when she left. It has to be a better deal than the previous relationship, that was obviously broken. What this means for a man is that your entire life situation must be improved upon to the degree that it’s obvious to any woman that she is entering a good situation for herself. She won’t chase you if everything is the same…that relationship is a known quantity to her and it wouldn’t make sense to just go back to it. However, this can take a long while to transform one’s life on such a scale and by the time it happens you may not even want her back.

 

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

300x250_txb_02

 

 

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Blocked Me on Facebook

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So, you’re ex-girlfriend has blocked you on Facebook, eh? That sounds so odd, to someone like me, who was on Facebook way back when it was only available for students at certain universities and it was still some weird thing which you added ‘friends’ to and had a ‘wall’ for posting messages. So, I guess nowadays being blocked on a social media platform is a big deal, especially when that person happens to be your old girlfriend. OK then, I suppose we will have to approach this issue on several fronts and get down to the nitty gritty of you particular situation. I’m going to try to generalize this post to fit the array of social media apps, sites, and whatnot…so this will apply to whether or not you’ve been blocked on AOL Instant Messenger (that’s still around, right?) or Snapchat (I have no idea what this is) or Instagram (yay half naked models!) or the experience known as Facebook. Let’s get started.

 

Determine if this is a Big Deal

I generally like to take a different approach to breakups, in that, I generally believe them to be useful and that it really isn’t a great idea for most people to get back together. Why is this? Losing a relationship puts people in a intensely emotional head space, which can allow them to make bad decisions in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is a bad decision (like getting back together with your ex-girl).

As such, I must first ask, is it a big deal that she blocked you on Facebook? Why does this upset you? Is this the first sign that you should start moving forward with life? Yes, it does hurt to lose a relationship and especially when they cut off communication avenues but this is often for the best in our lives. It’s hard to see how things will eventually be better when you are currently in the thick of things, however, accepting and surrendering to change in our lives is a part of being human.

Perhaps, her blocking the lines of communication with you will be a greater catalyst for you to change the course of your life, then if you still had the capability to reach out to her on a daily basis…which only serves to keep the mental feedback loop going. You send her a message, she responds, you get pleasant feelings that reinforce your current mental addiction to the remains of this relationship.

Also, there remains the fact that social media is pretty stupid and unimportant in a variety of ways. It often causes more problems in relationships including jealousy and snooping around in other folks business, then it does bring them together. Don’t allow yourself to wrap up your identity in what occurs in social media, as it is ultimately a phantom reality.

 

Why Did She Block You?

Women can block you for a multitude of specific reasons, however, it basically boils down to a short term and long term. She may block you in the short term because she is upset with you about something, hurt about the end of the relationship, or she just wants time away from you. From the long term perspective, she wants to live her life and move forward without your influence interfering.

I always think that the best course of action is to plan for the long-term (meaning, the relationship is permanently over) possibility. Taking the steps to move forward with your life, is always the best idea because it allows for growth and change to occur, which ultimately benefit you. You are always the most important aspect of your life, women will come and go, but you are the one constant. So, learn to be happy with yourself.

 

How Did She Block You?

Did she only block you on Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp? Or was it an across the board, every line of communication has been severed? The former can bode well for the possibility of getting back together later, while the latter points to the relationship being completely over for the foreseeable future.

Well, if she hasn’t cut you off across the board, her blocking you on Facebook isn’t a big deal. Like, you could still communicate with her if need be, but this is probably a good time to lay off the communication. You should give her space and give yourself time to further heal the emotional pain, without her being in your life. Time can often reveal the correct course of action to take for your particular situation, you just have to be willing to allow time to pass without doing anything to try and ‘fix’ the broken relationship.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

If she has blocked you across the board. There really isn’t anything that can be done in the immediate term. This is a situation which you must wait out and see if there is any change of heart from her side. If you did something like cheat on her, then she’s probably really hurt and may never want to speak to you again. She might forgive eventually but she’ll need plenty of time apart. She also might just want to experience her life without you and just wants to get on with creating a new life for herself. This is something you should also be doing.

How do you handle getting blocked on Facebook? The answer is to do nothing. Yes, everyone is looking for advice on the best action to take in whatever situation they are in BUT sometimes doing absolutely nothing but waiting it out is the only option available. Doing nothing in regards to trying to make communication between the two of you happen. This doesn’t mean that one sits around twiddling his thumbs, it just means to leave her alone for right now, and see if the intense emotions die down a bit. It’s really all you can do in a situation where you cannot communicate with her at all.

So, do this:

  • Treat the relationship as if it is completely over
  • Deal with emotional baggage and loneliness
  • Find new hobbies, opportunities, friends, dates, etc. to help spark positive change in your life
  • If the lines of communication do open up eventually, reevaluate if you still even want to try to fix this relationship.

 

Listen, the waiting game can absolutely suck, especially if you let emotions dictate your life and don’t deal with them or let these feelings heal. The brain will tell us to try this or that to try and ‘fix’ the relationship, even when it cannot be fixed, or there is no clear path to take. Letting the situation be as it is, absolutely does work as it is supposed to.

She may move on with her life or she may change her mind in a few months and want to work things out. That is not up to you to decide nor is it something that you can even control. Accept that you cannot control her actions or what she feels. You can however, control your own actions and how you approach your life moving forward. I’ve had girls I’ve dated, break up with me, and then reach out to me months later for us to: talk, hang out, get back together, etc. It’s funny though, once that had occurred, I had no interest in them any longer because I wasn’t the same person as I had been. Don’t get stuck in the BS and keep growing as a person, regardless of who might like you or want to be in a relationship with you at the moment.

All in all, getting blocked on social media is just another aspect of dating one must apparently deal with in this modern technological world. There’s nothing inherently different about being cut off on Facebook, even if you could still send her a message, there is no guarantee that she would respond or have a positive response towards you if she did write back. This is one of the opportunities in life in which you must learn to let go and not try to control the outcome because you can’t. You can wait it out, improve you life, and maybe the two of you can work things out at a later date.

 

 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend is Now Dating my Friend

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Human relationships can be tricky. This is especially the case when several of your relationship start to overlap with one another, in a seemingly negative way. One such instance, could be when an ex-girlfriend starts suddenly dating one of your close friends or even acquaintances. Then you are not only dealing with her moving on from you but also potentially seeing your best friend. This type of situation is actually somewhat common and it can sting quite a bit and feel like a complete betrayal by those who were once very close to you. How does a man handle an ex-girlfriend starting over in such a way?

 

Deal with the Emotions First

The first thing to do, is to be able to get your emotions in check if they are currently out of control. This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel bad but you cannot let them dictate your actions either. Yes, it hurts but turning everything into a victim narrative isn’t going to help anything really. Face the facts, that she is not only seeing someone else, but she is also seeing someone who you are friends with…

Notice what type of emotions rise up when you think about it. Now, get to the roots of these feelings by asking some probing questions such as…

Why does this bother me?

Does this bother me more than if it were some random guy?

Is my ultimate happiness dependent on these two people? Don’t I dictate my happiness?

Am I doomed to loneliness now?

Aren’t there 4 billion other females on this planet, can’t I get another great one?

Am I less of a man because of this? No, how did this diminish me?

Could I be grateful for the time that I’ve spent with both people?

Can I forgive them both and eventually be happy for them?

Keep asking questions that take apart the negative narrative you currently have in your head about this situation. With time and a fresh perspective, the pain will lessen and you can not only move on but indeed feel some sort of happiness or at least ambivalence to her now dating your best friend.

It is understandable to feel betrayed when an unspoken ‘rule’ was violated by one of your friends and that your old girlfriend is now into him more than you. The status quo has been shaken up and change such as this can be confusing, scary, or just something that pisses you off. Take the time to get your emotional house in order and emerge from this stronger and have more mental clarity.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

Decide What Your Relationship Towards Them Will Be

Now, I would take some time away from either one of them, at least as much as possible. If they cut you off already, then so much the better. Don’t be afraid to go completely no contact with the both of them, in order to get your head straight and cope with this change.

With enough time, you need to decide if you will continue to be friends with them or to no longer have any contact with them ever again. Neither one is a bad option if that is what you want, just don’t carry baggage about it and be bitter. If you’re going to still be close with them, then be so. If not, let them go and live your separate lives. Holding a grudge is only going to serve to continually drag up old emotions and things cannot move forward amicably at that point.

DSC_0390_Iván_Melenchón_Serrano_MorgueFile

Get Your Own Life Back on Track

She’s moved on. Now, you must do the same completely. You cannot have one foot in the door hoping that she will come back or worrying about their new relationship…you must carry on in a new direction.

This means:

  • dating
  • new business opportunities
  • personal development
  • traveling
  • meeting new friends
  • new career path

Whatever it is you feel like you should start doing, take advantage of your new found freedom. After all, being single ain’t so bad. Actually, it can be a lot of fun and a great growth opportunity, now that you’re no longer stuck in the rut of a long term relationship. Perspective dictates one’s response to a situation…

“I can’t believe she is seeing someone else” becomes “Thank you, sweetie. I’ve been wanting to sleep with other girls for the longest time and now I can”

Don’t give up on things, don’t obsess over this. Allow yourself to feel negatively about it for a time and then let these feelings go. You have a whole life to life outside of the confines of previous relationships and things don’t stop moving forward just because things aren’t the same as they were in the past (hint: they never stay the same).