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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back After a Year or Longer

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Time is supposed to heal all wounds. If one lets it do its job, and also makes changes to their lives, it will indeed heal. However, just because time heals wounds doesn’t mean it fixes broken relationships. So, it’s been a year or more apart from one another and you want another shot with her? Is it possible to get an ex-girlfriend to come back to you after that long of a period?

Yes, it certainly is possible. There have been plenty of relationships throughout time in which there was a long break up followed by a reconciliation. Does that make it a good idea to try to make that love connection happen once again? Well, that’s tougher to say. Let’s use this post to explore this long gap in between breakup and potential of getting back together and what’s involved.

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A Soviet Calendar for some reason

First Things First

Before I even get into this post, I want to make it abundantly clear that if it has been over a year since a break up and no reconciliation has happened, it is very unlikely that it will.

As I wrote above, it can happen but that doesn’t mean that the odds are good that it will happen. So much changes in that span of time, that in many ways, her life may be in a completely different space than when the two of you were dating.

Meaning, she’s not really the same person and may want completely different things than you can offer her. I know that sucks to hear but such is life.

Because this is the case, it can be quite a long shot, to hope to fix things. Now, sometimes it works out, because both parties recognize that their current lives and futures, are better spent together than apart. It’s just that this can be a huge hurdle to get over.

Why Do You Want Her Back?

I usually like to pose this question from the outset before even suggesting ways that people can get their ex back.

I do this because, often times, when you get down to the real core of your life and your desires; you will find that what you think you want is really just a symptom of lack.

This desire for the ex can often stem from dissatisfaction with one’s life or how it currently stands. When we find ourselves in this sort of head space, we can begin to clamor for anything that makes us feel better. We feel like our old relationship or some other outside force. will solve our deeper issues.

These solutions can take the form of drugs, escapism, working too much, and indeed chasing relationships.

It is a really good idea to do a full assessment of your life and relationship situation first to see if getting back together with this girl is truly what you want.

Conversely, if you are simply running after a past life, that you have fond memories of.

I say this because most people will be over their exes within a year. It can be very unhealthy to have this Jay Gatsby like obsession for a person you haven’t been together with in a long time.

This doesn’t mean that all circumstances are like that but if you’re holding on to the past this much, it’s time to let go and move forward.

Dig deep, down to the roots of what you want with your life or what you think you want from your life and analyze it. Does she actually offer you something that you cannot get anywhere else?

Are you struggling to meet other women and are falling into the trap of the past? Were things in your relationship that great to begin with? Were the issues between the two of you even fixable?

Keep prodding yourself with these types of questions because the truth of the matter will start to reveal itself and make this an easy choice of, “No, I really don’t want her back. I just need to focus on myself and get my life in order.”

That’s not a bad outcome to this issue at all and even though it hurts to let someone go, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you and prevent you from making the mistake of restarting a doomed relationship.

Regardless of the ultimate outcome of this questioning, it is still a great idea to do it. It will really help to gain clarity about what you want moving forward or if you’re even on the right path at all.

I’ve done this myself after a breakup. Even though I felt like, I wanted my girlfriend back, I honestly couldn’t come up with a truly good reason why. Why should I want her back? Would the new relationship be anything other than mediocre? Was a future with here really better than one, which I could carve out for myself?

After a long and serious meditation on this, I decided that the clear answer was no, to trying to get her back. The immediate relief it would give to my emotional turmoil, wasn’t worth the long-term costs of being in an ultimately broken relationship. It just wasn’t worth salvaging.

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But…but…I Still Want Her Back, What are My Chances?

OK, so once you’ve gone through the whole process of truly figuring out what you want for you life and whether you want to try to make this girl apart of your plans, then you can analyze the barriers to making this a reality.

Yes, I know, more work…but this is what’s involved in making an attempt to reconcile such long broken relationships.

First off, what is your ex’s current relationship status? Does she have a boyfriend? If yes, then your odds are even worse at getting her back then they just were.

Depending on the seriousness of that relationship, she may be gone for good or there might be a chance she could return.

If it’s serious, I would generally recommend just leaving it alone and moving on with your life. I mean, think about it from her current boyfriend’s perspective (just humor me), would you want your girl’s ex sniffing around and trying to mess up things between the two of you? Hell no! So why are you going to be that guy?

So, let’s say that she isn’t seeing anyone or that her dating life is not what you could term as ‘serious’. Congrats! You now have a slightly less shitty chance at getting your ex-girlfriend back.

The odds will obviously depend on other factors such as the cause of the breakup (if you cheated on her and this led to the breakup…you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell), how your life or her life has changed, and how intact the lines of communication still are.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Also, take stock of what has occurred in the past year or more. Has she made any overtures about getting back together? Has she texted or called you, when she didn’t have a clear reason to? Have the two of you hooked-up within the last six months?

On the flip side, has she started a new job or made some other big change in her life? People will often do this sort of thing for a ‘fresh start’, meaning they are trying to move on.

Really give a consideration to things from her end. Has there been any sort of signaling, that she would be open to getting back into a relationship with you? If it’s just been straight radio silence, this is going to be really difficult to pull off.

Whose Idea was This, Anyways?

Another key factor to consider is which one of you initiated the break up. If it was her idea, she probably had a valid reason at the time, however, this reason could become murky after so much time has passed.

This plays to your advantage. Think about it, if she thought that she could do better than you (and failed to find someone) or thought that you weren’t quite up to snuff (and you’ve improved your life, health, status, etc.). Then, she would be much more willing to reconsider things than she perhaps otherwise would.

People always get this idea in their head about how great things are going to be. But often, they don’t make any of the changes needed to make that a reality. Also, when they try, the find out that things really aren’t better. They previously had a good thing and let it falter.

Now, this can of course be detrimental to your cause if she went out into the dating world, and found another guy(s). A guy who she felt was superior to you, in terms of her happiness and comfort.

That’s not a very high percentage of scenarios, as finding a really good partner is difficult, especially within a year.

If you were the one who dumped her, you could be in better standing then if you were the one who got dumped. She might be more willing to reconcile or  be more open to your communications than she would be in another circumstance.

Again, this all depends on certain variables such as the state of her love life and how much of a candle she still holds for you. She may be angry with you still or be entirely open to trying to fix things.

Change? I guess Change is Good for Any of Us…

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Hopefully, in the time that the two of you have been separated, you have made improvements in your life and these improvements are noticeable. The good thing about long times spent apart is that you can drastically alter who you are and who she sees you to be.

Sometimes, these major changes (such as the physical or getting your metaphorical shit together) are enough to shock and get an ex to start thinking about you again.

Plus, why would she want to get back together with you, if all she is going to get is more of the same? The two of you are in different places psychologically and within your lives then when you were together (at least, I hope you are).

This means that you cannot restart the same relationship you had before, as you are different people now! Any relationship that may come about has to be built from the ground up and altered so that the problems of the past don’t come back and haunt you.

You need to make sure that you have addressed any negative issues you may have had or be seriously willing to change them.

For instance, if you had a problem with anger during the relationship and that was a friction causing issue, then it should be corrected before you even consider trying to win her back. On the flip side of that, if she was a source of major frustration for you that is one more red flag that a reconciliation might not be a good idea.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex.

With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

It has so many advantages over calling and/or trying to arrange a face to face meeting, right away. You have time to perfect an initial message and strategy. She has a long time to respond and consider talking to you again.

Plus, it’s such a passive way to send out feelers, to see how she currently feels about you communicating again.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully you took the time to download the two free reports, about What Not to Text Your Ex, earlier in the post. They were written by Mr. Fiore, as a part of his ‘Text Your Ex Back Program’.

This is a program which you can download immediately and has helped thousands of people, pursue reconciliation with an ex.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

My Ex-Boyfriend Moved On So Fast

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There are occasions in which a break up happens and one party is quickly onto someone else while the person they were formerly dating is blindsided and still stuck in a confused state. How did this happen? How can my ex-boyfriend move on so quickly to another woman? Well, there are multiple variations of what your ex can be involved in of course…the rebound relationship (short or long-term), hook-ups with random girls, or something that more resembles a fling with one lady in particular.

Naturally, regardless of the type of relationship that he is engaged in, it can still feel awful seeing someone you were up until recently so close with, off with someone else.  How could your ex-boyfriend get together with someone so fast? How is he moving past the breakup with such rapidity, while you may still be hurting? What does it mean?

Understanding Timing

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

There is a common strategy for men to get over their ex-girlfriend and it involves seeing other women. Now, this could be multiple short-term hookups in order to help forget the void in their lives, left by the end of the relationship. On the other hand, a man can also at times make a lateral move right into another long-term relationship.

In the first case, it usually isn’t serious nor is it something they will probably be pursuing for very long. Sure, having multiple women may be fun for a while, but it can get old really fast. It’s much less about anything those women actually offer and more about helping to heal the void felt. Essentially, trying to move on from commitment by indulging in a complete lack of it.

In this latter case, there is a high chance that he already knew and had already explored making this move into being with this other girl. She might have been someone he had met and liked while the relationship was still in tact, but kept around in case things went south.

In some cases, it might have been a woman he met around the time that he was considering a break up, and she just made the transition that much easier for him to deal with.

So while it seems like a quick move after a breakup, it might have been building for months, and so when the break does happen…it’s easy to slide right over to the other person. I do think that this scenario is more common with women, as they can attract men much easier, than the reverse; but it still does happen.

Sometimes, this type of relationship is serious, and sometimes the other woman acts sort of like an aid to help stave off feelings of lonelinessThere is almost always a great void left behind in the aftermath of a breakup and different people will find different ways to try to cope with that.

It may be in the arms of someone else or going out and trying to hookup with a bunch of women to take the focus off of the one that was just lost. It can often have much less to do with you, than them just trying to get their head straightened out.

Consider Moving On

In the immediate aftermath of a breakup and seeing an ex move on to someone else, the shock and emotional pain, can have us solely focusing on him.

However, it is during this period of time, when we need to shift the attention solely to ourselves, and our well-being.

Begin to think about what you would honestly want to change about this situation. If you could snap your fingers and have him back, would you even want to?

I mean, would it actually be something desirable or just a temporary fix for the emotional tumult you currently feel? Obviously, the relationship had problems, what would be fixed? How serious would things be long-term, if he moved on with someone else, this quickly?

While break ups hurt, they aren’t necessarily a bad thing at all. They can help us move forward from one stage of our lives to another. One person can be a great fit at one time, but a few years later, and it just no longer works. We grow apart, people end up wanting different things from life, etc.

These transitions aren’t pleasant, but once we work on letting go of the past and gain clarity about what we do want, we can realize a blessing in disguise.

I’ve had this very scenario happen to me once when I was younger. A girl that I was seeing, almost immediately got together with another guy, and it turned out to be a serious long-term relationship.

Now, at the time, this made me feel miserable. However, once the months had started to pass, I gained more clarity about things. Once the years, had passed, it no longer effected me. Heck, I was glad that it happened, because the relationship had a bunch of issues, which I had ignored.

Had we stayed together, it would’ve been a disaster, at some point. I would have been even more unhappy and be in a completely different space in my life. Probably, a worse one. For these sorts of reasons, we have to make sure to take care of ourselves in the short-term during this emotional storm, until it passes and we know things worked out.

Is It Serious?

Perhaps but then again, the rebound relationship might not be serious at all. It could just be a temporary ‘fix’ to help cope with a major change in one’s life.

If he is seeing multiple women, then of course he isn’t serious about any one girl. However, he might be ‘serious’ about making that his new lifestyle, having multiple women around at any given time. Most of the time, it will be a short-lived phase, but some guys go all in on this type of thing.

In that case, he might want to explore that route for a while and not even be open to anything serious with any other girl. He is in no rush to be in a committed relationship and so will resist any overtures towards that.

If he is involved with one girl, it can be serious. It depends on many factors, such as how long that they have been together and how long your relationship with him was.

However, being together with one girl only isn’t necessarily an indicator of seriousness either. He might not have any other options to date or he might not like being with multiple women at once. Again, it varies from person to person but taking a wait and see approach can help you to figure out what the deal is exactly.

On your end, the key is to not let this ‘moving on’ by the other person, take hold of your life. Learn to cope, grow, and deal with the breakup in a healthy manner. Don’t get dragged down or become despondent just because he is seeing other people. Here is an article to help with that: How to Move on From an Ex 

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Stop Thinking About My Ex-Girlfriend?

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Thinking can be a great tool to have. Sometimes, it gets out of tight spots, gives us tremendous insights, and can even change the course of our lives for the better. Other times, this useful tool, begins to control our every waking hour. It replays past events like a movie on a constant loop and not even a good movie…one that can haunt us or just make us feel terrible about ourselves.

This can be especially true for us men after we break up with a woman. So many scenarios run through our minds about what could’ve been, what we could’ve done differently or how we can still, maybe, get our ex-girlfriend back.

It’s only natural for this to occur after a breakup, but at some point we need it to stop and be able to move on with our lives (even if we eventually get back together with our ex). The question then begs, how do you stop thinking about her once the relationship ends? What about if she’s sleeping with someone else? Or you’re in another relationship?

Well, boys, let us dig deeper and see if we can’t present some ways to solve this issue.

To The Roots of Thinking

The first thing to recognize is the powerful illusions that thoughts create. Even when we remember events fairly clearly, they are still only our subjective interpretations of what happened, and flawed ones at that.

It gets lonely sometimes

As I said before, memories and thoughts are sort of like films, and films that are highly edited and colored by our emotions and the limited ability of our senses to pick up the data of our surrounding environment.

No matter how rational or certain you take your memories for, they are still always inherently flawed. When interacting with another person (your ex for example), your memory is even more limited. This is because you don’t quite know what she was thinking, feeling, or what she would remember about any given situation.

Add to the fact, that our brains can often conflate two separate events and turn them into one single memory…and you’ve got yourself one highly misleading narrative.

That’s the thing about it, it’s not just having the memories or thoughts pop into our heads, it’s also our interpretation and analysis.

What if this happened instead? What if I’d said this? Oh! Maybe I should call her and say that now…I’m sure she’ll take me back. The narrative story that we create about memories are often the most insidious part of them. We’re natural problem solvers and when we have a major change like a break up happen in our lives, we want to solve the emotional tumult. Thus, it repeats again and again.

The narrative isn’t just limited to trying to resolve problems the relationship faced. There is also the story we tell ourselves about just how damn great she was and how you’ll never meet someone like her again, etc., etc.

Is any of that really true? I’m sure she had some great things about her, however, was it all sunshine and happiness?

No issues? No behavioral problems? No selfishness? Being annoying? Are there not billions of females on the planet? No one is better looking? Nicer? A better partner? You aren’t capable of landing someone else?

Just what is really true about all of these thoughts and memories that are being stirred up?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Desperation Stinks

Another issue with thoughts is how often they can lead to actions which don’t serve our best interests. Your brain will concoct all sorts of solutions and fail-proof schemes in order to get your ex to come back, and these ideas can have the effect of pushing them further away.

There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a desperate man.

He has no self respect. He treats her as if she is somehow above him, like he is her personal servant. Now, normally men wouldn’t act like this of course, but when our thoughts and emotions are consumed with this idealized vision of our ex-girlfriends…we get into some silly situations.

If your thoughts translate into desperate, clingy, annoying, or hurtful behavior towards your ex-girlfriend, any attraction she may have had left will evaporate really quickly.

It becomes a situation in which to resist what is (the end of the relationship for the time being) is to further impair the odds of it ever being repaired. In essence, you have to be willing to move on completely with your life, whether or not she ever comes back.

Do not let these thoughts and emotions cloud your judgments and force you to make short-sighted moves. You aren’t going to ‘fix’ a broken relationship just like that.

In fact, if reconciliation did take place, it would effectively be a new relationship in order to solve all of the issues the old one had…so accept the fact that the old one is gone either way.

As such, there is no real advantage to begging or trying to go for a quick fix, without really changing anything.

How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex-Girlfriend

OK, so now that we have a brief overview of overthinking and how it can hinder things post-breakup, we can begin to move on to ways to reduce thinking about her.

All of these suggestions are things that I have done in the past to help me stop thinking about ex-girlfriends or even move on from tough life experiences. In fact, I incorporate some of the techniques into my daily life, to help my performance and mental clarity.

Changing reality, at this time (getting the ex to come back and have everything be great again), may not be possible. So, instead of changing reality, we change the way we perceive and think about it. Thus, lessening the strong attachments, we currently feel.

Letting Go

Letting go of thoughts, desires, or relationships can take place either in the here and now or in the long-term. The short-term effect is to interrupt the thought patterns, which sort of retrains the brain to not go down that same road again and again.

Letting go allows for a level of clarity to take hold and an elevation of one’s mood. When I let go in the moment, I no longer need to chase my thoughts, as I am content with what is.

This is the best short video of a technique to let go. I watched this almost everyday for a month or so before meditation sessions and found that it helped immensely. The actual breathing technique is like 5 minutes, so you can fast forward to the six minute mark of the video, if you don’t want the entire explanation:

The great thing about this breathing technique is that it can be done anywhere, once you’ve learned it. I’ve incorporated while at museums, bars, before dates, etc. It’s a fantastic way to start calming oneself down and helping to make the thought patterns more sporadic.

Interrupting thought patterns is a way to set up sort of a beach head and begin to unwind the lock that these persistent thoughts and memories can have on one’s mind.

The above technique is just a warm up for me, I like to do meditation on an almost daily basis, to really get in the habit of ‘no thought’ and disrupting thoughts that have become addictive to my brain.

Any easy way to begin, is to do the breathing technique demonstrated in the video above, and then follow that with a guided meditation video.

Guided meditation will talk you through the basics of meditation until you can progress enough with your ability to clear your mind and do a meditation on your own accord. Here is an excellent video to start with:

The following books may also aid you in being able to clear your head of excess thinking. Each one has helped me immensely along my journey of personal transformation.


Interrupting Routine

Part of being able to stop thinking about someone is to stop dwelling on the past itself. The meditation techniques and book recommendation above are probably enough to help cut off the thinking of an ex-girlfriend entirely.

However, I wanted to incorporate some other things that can help over time as well. Our routines in daily life can become stagnant and seem to bog us down, especially when there’s a major shift in one aspect (relationship).

Things can become stale, we feel like we’ve stopped growing or have any real goals to shoot for.

Since we have to accept the possibility that our ex might not ever get back together with us, we should then follow the post-breakup plan that I have put forth in the past.

It is a mixture of removing as much interaction with your ex-girlfriend as possible, self-development, and dating other women.

The No Contact aspect of this trifecta, helps with the overthinking, with the help of the old adage ‘out of sight, out of mind’.

The less you have to see or speak with her, the less her image will appear in your thoughts. Now, it is obviously a gradual process but I have found that once I’d started meditating and disrupting those thought patterns, it became much easier and less painful to let go of the women I’d been dating.

Self-improvement gives you something else to focus your energy on. If you don’t have jack shit going on in your life, then of course a break up is going to linger for a long while, your brain is sitting idle.

Physical, mental, emotional, social…all of them. Pick something to move towards, with your eyes forward, it becomes hard to focus on the past.

I like to start dating other women almost right away, nowadays. Granted I’ve gotten myself to a really good place psychologically and am able to deal with things in a much healthier and non-self destructive way, so maybe I can get away with moving forward faster than other guys can.

However, I’ve found that dating other girls helps to really get rid of the total focus on one person, who I’m no longer together with.

Right after a break up, I might even be a little less picky because even the bad dates have a positive impact on me. In the sense that they make me say, “Thank God I’m single and not together with her”.

Meanwhile, the good dates are a reminder that I still have value as a man and there are other attractive women out there.

In closing, to forget about an ex, I:

Cut off the constant stimulus of seeing/speaking to her

Interupt thought patterns with meditation and letting go techniques

Give myself other things to focus on with a massive self-development plan

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back After Begging

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You may have found yourself in a sort of post-breakup no man’s land. There was a period of emotional turmoil and weakness and you begged for an ex-girlfriend to come back into the fold of a relationship. Judging by the fact that you’re searching online for answers, it must not have worked out in your favor.

That’s okay, I think all of us have been in this same situation before. One of the major issues with using this sort of gambit is that it does nothing to address what the problems of the relationship was, it just goes straight to ‘let’s get back together now!’.

Also, it puts one in a position of chasing, desperation, and lowering of value in the girl’s eyes. With that in mind, is it still a possibility of winning her back after begging and getting turned down?

Yes, there is still hope but that doesn’t always mean that this outcome is probably. Let us take a closer look at the act of begging an ex-girlfriend and how to proceed and recover after employing this tactic.

Understanding Things After Begging Her

A major dynamic of relationships is based on value perception. So, when you first start dating someone, they tend to think the world of you…you have a high level of perceived value in their eyes.

After the relationship ends, this value is lower than what’s necessary to make the relationship work. This can be due to various factors that were at the root cause of the break up such as lying, cheating, or any other host of issues.

If she was the one who decided to dump the relationship, this value perception has shifted even more toward her favor. If she was the only one who felt that the relationship needed to end and is no longer needed in her life, then she has the power of choice.

Meaning, she gets to negotiate from a position of strength or simply gets to move on.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after the break up, the power dynamics and how she perceives you has changed.

With this being the case, when a guy goes begging to get his ex-girlfriend back and she has an already lowered perceived value of him, is pleading for her back going to help him succeed in actually getting her back?

Nope. She will either consciously or unconsciously have a lowered perception of value of the guy after he begs. The woman can prepare herself to move forward with her life and feel secure in knowing that she can get the man back whenever she wants. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Why is this a bad thing? Humans have a tendency to place a high value on things that are rare and not easily obtained, such as certain gems, that have no real practical value beyond decoration.

It isn’t a turn no for women to have a guy they already know well, who doesn’t have the mysterious excitement of something new, get down on his knees and beg. Some of them might get a bit of thrill from the sense of power that comes with being begged for but it certainly isn’t an attractive turn on.

Think of some other traits, such as being too available or needy. Having wild emotional/mood swings. Not being able to let go and move on with one’s life. Being obsessed and chasing something that used to exist.

Are any of these attractive qualities? No, so why would a girl want to come back to a guy who is displaying these sorts of qualities to her?

Desperation is fundamentally unattractive to both women and men. This is true whether approaching a new woman at a bar or with a girl you’ve dated for years, it always puts people off.

Does this Relationship Need to Be Recovered?

Not all breakups are created equal. Not all relationships need to be restarted after they’ve been broken. This is the next question that needs to be posited, should a reconciliation even be attempted?

The vast majority of relationships that we have in life, aren’t going to work out. They may be really close to ideal but still have something that just doesn’t quite fit.

The problem is, people tend to lose objectivity, and their decisions get clouded by strong emotions. They either try or actually do get back together with someone who isn’t quite ‘right’ for them, solely because they don’t like feeling lonely.

I take the same tact at the end of every relationship, I allow myself some time to feel bad, get myself together, and think about whether or not I need to try to get back together with the girl or not.

Also, each time I prepare myself to be ready for the relationship to end for good. Even if I’m attempting to get back together with an ex, I still make preparations, that things are really done completely with her.

As individuals, we must accurately assess the reality of the situation and be able to come to the conclusion that best fits our circumstances. Is it worth trying to fix this broken relationship? Are we currently just too emotional or feeling like we have no direction in life?

There still remains all of the issues that the broken relationship had, that don’t just go away because an agreement to get back together happens. Are these issues actually fixable?

Are there changes that you’re willing to make to accommodate the relationship? Is she willing to do the same? Deep down, is getting back together even actually what you truly desire?

Just because a relationship is good, doesn’t mean that it’ll ever be great or worth keeping around. If there is a lot of doubt and confusion about what to do after taking the time to think about it, the best bet may be to move on.

Honestly assessing things, is a great way to help discover, whether we just have attachments that we don’t want to get over or if it something worth saving.

Take time out, with as few emotions involved as possible, to ask yourself these questions and any others that are relevant. Doing so, may save you a ton of time in chasing, something that you don’t actually want.

Can She Be Gotten Back After Begging?

Sure it’s definitely possible in some cases to get a girl to come back to you, after she’s lost attraction post-begging.  Now, is it probable?

That depends on a number of variables that is going to be unique to your own situation. Also, it could be a long-term process and with enough time spent apart, you may come to realize that you don’t even want to be back together with her.

You may still have feelings for her but find that it is best to not be with her for whatever reason(s).

The likelihood of her coming back is going to depend on how much damage was done in the post-breakup period or during the end of the relationship itself.

For instance, if you were cheating, then it’s going to be a hard sell to get her to want to come back. For some guys reading this, there are circumstances that are a pretty easy fix. For others, it’s a dim chance.

As always in relationships, it’s not always just about you. The woman has her own life, desires, worries, and plans for the future. These may or may not include you. So, even if you do everything correctly, she may decide that she want no part of it.

This is another reason why we work on accepting whatever outcome may come from the process. As, we cannot control all of the variables, outside of ourselves.

Raising Your Value

OK, so damage has been done to your level of attractiveness in her eyes, and how much of a ‘catch’ you appear to be. In order to reverse the trend, some changes are obviously going to need to be made.

These changes come in the form of how you interact with her (or don’t), your physical attractiveness, your lifestyle improvements, and your social/dating growth. I wrote about all of that in this post: How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Chase You

The specific improvements needed, will depend on the guy. For some of you, there are emotional issues to work through. Other guys, need to control their anger, or learn to trust other people.

For many guys, this can come in the form of getting better in terms of physical appearance, lifestyle, job or social status. A lot of relationships can end, because the woman feels like the guy hasn’t reached his potential in some way. Things started off promising and later became stagnant.

If a woman has no reason to find a man attractive, she is not going to pursue him, nor will she be excited about being pursued. It’ll be more of an annoyance, of someone she used to date trying to ‘fix’ things.

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The self-improvement kick, should last well into the actual process of trying to get back together with the ex-girlfriend But, plenty of work should be done during a period of no contact.

Taking a month or two from trying to pursue her, after you’ve begged, is probably a good idea. Yes, begging can hurt chances in the short-term, but in the long term it matters much less than what you can offer the other person.

I mean, if you someone who getting back together with will greatly improve her life, would she not take the opportunity because you once begged? Of course not. The key is righting the ship and recovering as a better version of yourself.

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My Ex Girlfriend Moved On So Fast

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So your breakup happened and then in what seems like a really rapid amount of time, your ex-girlfriend is involved with another guy. Now, this ‘relationship’ may be serious, it may be a rebound, or it could simply be a fling. Nevertheless, seeing someone who your were just with and loved or cared deeply for move on with another guy can hurt bad. How did she find someone else this quickly, while you’re still aching from the end of the relationship? In this post, I want to explore how girls get past a break up (at least externally) this fast, whether it’s weeks or months.

She Moved on So Quickly…Time Ain’t Always What It Seems

On the surface, you had a break up with your girlfriend and then a few days, weeks, or a month later…she’s already with someone or multiple someone else’s.

The truth of the matter is that, if she broke up with you, then she probably had it planned out well in advance. Not only that, unless she went out or met guys off of Tinder, she probably had an exit strategy that involved other guy(s).

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

You have to understand that women often have plenty of options available to them, even when they are involved in a relationship.

They may flirt a bit and keep these guys around as ‘just friends’ until that break up finally happens and they can quickly set up plans to see these dudes.

These guys can be thought of as orbiters or satellites. They move around in her orbit, until she selects them to do something with, after her relationship fails.

It can be a short-term fling or a swinging to a ‘new branch’, when she thinks a new guy presents a better option for her life. As such, we can never even see it coming when they have a new guy line up, in short order after a break up.

As men, we will many times, either have no other options or cut off all of the other women in our lives that could serve this same role.

So, when a relationship ends we don’t have the same network (or even ability) to quickly replace the one we just lost. One could even theorize, that if we did have even the threat of back up options to move on with, it would change the behavior of many women.

This is because, they may fear another woman having their man even more, versus just him being single and alone…oh yeah, human interactions can be pretty screwed up.

I’ve heard this type of behavior referred to as ‘branch-swinging’. Much like a monkey swinging from branch to branch, she has a hold of another option before letting go of her previous boyfriend.

Again, this isn’t always the case, sometimes she goes out with her friends and finds a guy at the bar or club or the aforementioned dating apps. A new guy, may be completely random after a break up, she may have other guys already, or some combination of both.

Women who are even semi-decent looking, can get as many guys as they want. Maybe not always the ‘exact guy’ they desire, but in terms of volume, it’s on a whole different level than what we can attract as men.

When she has so many potential options at her disposal, if she only tries or has her friends pull in guys for her, it is no wonder that women often get to move on quicker than men.

The new guy or guys can be used as a way to divert attention from the breakup, as well. If she has other guys to focus on, it can make her feel less lonely than she otherwise would in such a scenario.

It’s kind of like kicking a drug habit by weaning yourself of it with a less powerful drug. But, this strategy may also fail completely. Why? Because it just masks any emotional turmoil that may be boiling underneath the surface…which makes you ‘feel’ fine, until it doesn’t.

This is especially true if her relationship with you was a serious and long-term one. After a breakup, there is a void in people’s lives, in which the old relationship used to stand.

One expects to see their ex everyday, but it doesn’t happen, and then they feel empty about it. This can be excruciating to get through and for some people they turn to finding new partners, in order to cope with the loss.

As such, rebound relationships are born.

Whether it works out in the long-term or not is almost completely random for many women. Why? Because most people, don’t ever address their true underlying feelings or wants, and just try to paper over anything negative in their lives. This leads to quick fix ‘relationships’ that can fail faster than the one with the guy, she broke up with (you in this scenario).

Is the Rebound Relationship Serious?

Maybe. Then again, he might just be a temporary placeholder to make her feel better before she moves on with her life.

f she’s taken the opposite tact and has multiple guys she’s seeing, then of course it’s not serious BUT she might be in that mode of dating for a while. This means it’s doubtful she’ll want to get involved in another serious and exclusive relationship.

If she’s now together with one guy and it’s exclusive. Then the seriousness is dependent on a few factors such as how long they’ve been together and how long it would take her to get over the relationship that she had with you.

If you were together for only a few months and she’s been together with him for a few months…it’s probably pretty serious.

There are some scenarios in which an ex-girlfriend will be together with someone almost immediately following the breakup.

In that case, it was almost always planned out in advance of the breakup with her ex. The relationship she moves into may not be serious but there was at least enough attraction to get her to fully commit to getting out of her previous one.

Don’t ever beat yourself up over this situation. It has probably happened to just about every guy out there, who has had a relationship. Society and culture has changed to the extent, that it has become pretty damn difficult, to avoid scenarios such as this one.

What To Do Now?

Things will be all right. It’ll just hurt like a bitch for a while. Here are some of my posts about moving on from relationships and dealing with it:

Keep in mind that women in general, have a greater ability than we do to move on with someone else after a break up. It’s simply one of our disadvantages.

It doesn’t mean that the relationship is definitely over forever but it’s not a great sign and one should always prepare for the most likely scenario. Plus, once we get past this initial hurt, it is easier to come to realize that we came out ahead and didn’t actually lose as much as we thought we did.

Man, when I think about the women who dumped me 10 years ago or so, I am extremely grateful that it happened that way. I’d hate to be in a miserable relationship, just to have saved myself a few months of emotional pain.

Like, I couldn’t even imagine being with any of them right now. They could all ask me to get back together with them and I would probably laugh in their faces…it’d be absolutely stupid. Oh, and I know for a fact, some of them are still single.

View this as an opportunity to shake things up in your life. Focus on self-improvement, health, mental happiness, travel, start new career, or hobbies.

Break ups hurt but aren’t the end of the world. There is so much that one can do and experience in the world, when he is single. I mean, I think most men are at their absolute best in terms of accomplishments, when they don’t have anyone holding them back.

Not only does self-improvement make one’s life better and more fulfilling. It also has the effect of attracting more women in the future, so, if one relationship doesn’t work out…there will always be other options coming down the pike.

I wrote a Kindle ebook about this very topic of self-improvement and becoming the desirable man to women. Check it out and read the first bit of it for free in the preview below.

Either way, you cannot live your life by focusing on what an ex-girlfriend is doing. This attachment and anger, needs to be let go of.

You had your run with her, you both have changed enough that the relationship is no longer valid, now grow from the experience and make your life better.

When you take the time to focus on you and what you want from your life moving forward, she becomes irrelevant. If you’ve had other women in the past, do you still care what they’re doing? Honestly, how many times do they still cross your mind?

At some point, this current woman you’re upset about, will just be another of your past girlfriends. In the future, it may not even feel real in your memory, that you ever dated her or even tripped about her moving on to another guy. This is the way of life, just don’t let the short-term, drag you down for a long count.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Told Me to Move On

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OK, so, the break up happened and now your ex is practically shouting at you to move on with your life. “Just forget about me” she says or she is dating someone else and wants you to stop clamoring for how things used to be. What is a guy to do when he finds himself in such a situation?

Well, there is the old adage, hope for the best but prepare for the worst and that is always an attitude you should take into any post-breakup scenario. The caveat being that, what you currently think is best (getting her back) isn’t always the case, and one needs to explore the possibilities of his own life moving forward.

What’s Your Situation? Does She Mean It?

She’s already said to forget about her and move on with your life. As such, you should take that at face value, that the relationship has now concluded and will not be reconciled. Is that always the case?

No, sometimes, women will have a change of heart but at this point in a break up it is usually a low percentage shot of that happening.

Now the specific situation depends on a number of variables such as if she is with another guy or if you did something especially egregious such as cheating with another woman, which has generated a lot of hate towards you.

The more factors such as these that are in play, the lower the odds of getting back together are, it’s just the way it goes.

However, even if the breakup seemed to come out of the blue and you can’t pinpoint a specific fault on your own end, the relationship might be doomed anyways.

Women generally don’t make these types of decisions on a whim and usually have an exit plan well in advance of actual separation.

Also, you need to factor in the length of time it has been since she dumped you. For instance, if she tells you to move on almost immediately after a breakup, there is a greater chance that she is acting on pure emotion and the statement might not be a concrete truth (although, it might).

However, if it’s been many weeks, months, or even years…then you really do need to get on with your life.

In any scenario, I still tend to just take what she says at face value, and reconsider that if I’m get overt signals from her that she didn’t actually mean it.

The best course of action has always seemed to me, to always to prepare myself for the total end of a relationship, even when it doesn’t come to pass. If I have an opportunity at reconciliation later, and that’s what I still want, then I can pursue that. Plus, I’ll be in a better position in my life, to do so.

Here’s Your Sign to Leave Her Alone

If you are getting no signs of a possible reconciliation and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture, is going to push her further away. Thus, she becomes more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought.

If you’ve evaluated your personal situation and the chances of getting back together are looking slim to none, then that means they usually are.

This is a very hard truth to face and some guys just refuse to ever comes to terms with this new change in their lives. It is not the end of the world, it is simply a new phase in your life.

There are like 4 billion females on the planet, so the odds are definitely in all of our favor, that we can literally find dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of better options than our ex-girlfriends depending on how much effort we are willing to put forth.

There was a time in your life before you knew her and dated her and there will be a time after…and YES, this time can be even better…I’ve been dumped multiple times and while it hurts, I always come back stronger.

Heck, I wrote a whole Kindle book about coming out of that turmoil, becoming stronger, better, and having many more women as a result:

Remember, girls can’t make you happy. They can enhance your life and create a feeling of dependence but they can never make you happy, only you can.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. Thus, we must work to move forward without her.

Do You Actually Want Her Back? Or, Taking Her Advice, and Moving On without Her.

Try to set your emotion and ego aside for a minute. What do you honestly miss about her? Get down to the roots of your attachment to this chick and ask yourself some questions.

What does she specifically provide that you could not get from any other girl? The pull of emotions is quite strong after a breakup and the clarity that comes with time passed and positive changes can have us feeling quite different about things.

For example, if you’re a guy who’s had several breakups in the past, do you still miss some girl you dated in high school? College?

These old girls rarely if ever cross my mind and I know that I’ll probably have at least a few more of these types of breakups at some point in my life. Am I going to let my life go to shit each time a woman has a change in heart? Hell no!

This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

  • Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
  • Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason.
  • Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
  • You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar and feels safe.
  • You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.
  • You don’t have a ready alternative available
  • Your ego is making it hard to let go

If you find yourself in a place in which your ex specifically tells you to move on with your life, you should definitely heed her words, and you’ll probably be thankful later that you did.

Sometimes, a breakup is the surest way to avoid a train wreck later, go read some divorce horror stories online if you don’t believe me. Yes, it’s going to suck getting through the emotional turmoil and loneliness but that’s part of being human…but it gets better.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after taking time by abiding by her wishes and leaving her be, assess the situation. What do you actually want?

Is she the right fit or merely a good one? Is there any real chance of getting back together? After all, both parties will have to buy into any new relationship. And it would be a new relationship, because the old one failed.

What would change? What would be better in any potentially new relationship? What are the problems that she brings to the relationship? What about yours?

What do you honestly want to be doing with your life in 5 years? Would she even fit into those plans? Or would things be okay for a while, before another break up took place?

Take time and honestly think about those questions.

In the mean time, during the period of No Contact, make serious efforts to work on your life, emotional, and physical well-being.  During these highly emotional times, one must be active in ensuring, that you get better, and not get dragged down into a dark place mentally.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get My Ex-Girlfriend Back If She’s Ignoring Me

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The time after a break up can be a confusing and harrowing experience to get through with your emotions in tact. At some point, in the ensuing weeks or months following the end of the relationship, your now ex-girlfriend can cut off contact with and flat out ignore you. This move can blindside a lot of guys because they’re not expecting it, as the girl that they were once super close with, now won’t even acknowledge that they exist. Why the hell isn’t she talking to me? What’s the deal with her ignoring my texts and phone calls? There are many potential reasons and variables associated with individual relationships but in this post I want to cover some of the common reasons that a woman will ignore you and some potential remedies for dealing with this situation.

With all of that in mind, let’s get into some potential reasons why an ex-girlfriend may all of the sudden no longer be paying you… any mind.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Why Is My Ex-Girlfriend Ignoring Me?

Moving On Has Begun

Let me be clear, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she has moved on entirely, or that she is gone for good. Things aren’t always that cut and dry.

However, ignoring you could be a sign that she is preparing herself to move forward without you or is currently seeing other guys, to help get through the post break up period.

Don’t freak out or anything, this isn’t always the case; but cutting off contact like this can be apart of the healing process for anybody after a relationship ends.

One can only begin to cope with emotions of loss and the void of loneliness once the constant stimulus is cut off of having to see and communicate with an ex. That constant reminder of someone, can be rough, as you know.

It’s really difficult to get one’s mind right when you have to constantly see someone who you’ve broken it off with. This is a potential reason why she is ignoring you when you try to communicate.

Moving on with another guy or multiple guys doesn’t mean that it’s a serious thing. Different people cope with the end of a relationship in different ways.

A lot of this behavior can be traced to not wanting to feel alone or wanting to get away from the constant stream of negative emotions. It can also at times be a signal that a new direction in life is going to be taken.

This moving on also doesn’t have to involve anyone else. She may very well decide that she’s going to take a break from dating period, at least for a while. As such, she not only isn’t going to talk to any new guys, but she also may have decided to cut off contact from you too.

Finally, there is the possibility that she is trying to move on with her life, without the relationship. At which point, a man needs to respect that and do the same.

Things change, time passes, and people enter or exit one another’s lives. It happens. This is probably the least likely reason because so many people have trouble moving past anything emotionally, but some folks do just cut ties and get on with living.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

She’s Irritated with You

This is more common when you are the one who got dumped. In the aftermath, you may still be really wanting to get back together and she’s not really having it. As such, we as men don’t take failure all that well at times, and so we begin to chase.

We may start calling and texting her way too much in order to try and convince her to come back, which only serves to push her further away.  At some point, she’ll have had enough and just cut off all contact as a way to stop being bothered by the constant attention.

Yes, it can be tough to deal with and our brain’s will tell us to keep pursuing, but we also need to know when we should back the hell off and give her space. Keep in mind that being subservient and constantly available is already an unattractive trait, even more so once a relationship has dissolved and you are very familiar to her.

The constant chatter and behaving like a lap dog that is available at her beck and call makes her feel less attraction. So, stop doing it. Nobody likes it when someone is always buzzing in their ears.

It can be difficult and there is this tendency to want to try and fix everything but you can’t really, at this point in time, so take a break and go No Contact if necessary.

So many people think they can just do some elaborate convincing and fix a broken relationship. That’s a pretty low percentage shot. In reality, it takes time, and effort.

Some of that time, has to be spent apart from one another, in order to gain clarity about how each person wants to proceed from the breakup.

If you think that you may be texting her too much, you probably are.

She’s Going No Contact

Yep, your ex-girlfriend might be using the same Jedi mind trick on you. This is more likely, in the event that you broke up with her, and less likely if you were the one who got dumped.

No Contact doesn’t always mean that someone is trying to get back together with their ex, though it could. It can also be an effective tool for getting over someone or just trying to get themselves into a solid mental state without the heavy emotions constantly weighing on them.

No Contact Rule is a ‘rule’ for a reason, lots of people use it, and it is effective. It is a multi-purpose strategy, used to gain control of your life and emotional state, after such a dramatic change. Also, if they want to get back together, at some point. It’s like buying time, to see which way the wind is blowing, for or against a reconciliation.

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Anger

Of course, there’s the old standby reason, she’s really mad. This can be the case when cheating was involved or some bad argument took place between the two of you. The more upset she is, obviously the less likely that she is going to want to talk or text for a while.

Anger can go both ways, sometimes its a temporary phase, and eventually cooler heads prevail. However, if the anger and resentment is strong enough, it can be a complete end to the relationship with no reconciliation.

Cheating as a break up cause, can often be a no win position to start from. Honestly, I wouldn’t take a girl back who cheated on me, so I expect that plenty of ladies out there also share the same principle.

In order to gauge this, you need to think about the specifics of your own relationship, and how things fell apart. This one is a very common reason, if the two of you have been arguing a lot.

Obviously, if you said or did some foul things, and all of the sudden she stopped replying to your texts…there’s you answer as to why.

What’s the Response?

When being ignored, you can’t just go and start chasing. That tends to push them further away. The best prescription is to go, No Contact on your end, and give her space for a spell of time.

A period of no contact can last a month or two. During that time period things can become much clearer as to what path you should take.

That can mean that you eventually pursue a reconciliation or decide to move forward with your own life. Thus leaving this relationship on the heap of the past.

You can’t always make a bold move in order to get someone back, this kind of thing requires a certain amount of patience, and sometimes the best move is to do nothing…for now, at least.

As men, we always tend to want to take action to fix a situation. But many times, the act of pursuit or trying to fix things, just makes it worse.  The more we chase, the more they run away.

Eventually, if you are still interested in pursuing a reconciliation, then you can try texting her and opening the lines of communication.

This is of course, a much easier task, if you haven’t completely pissed her off or cheated on her or were particularly terrible during/after the relationship.

It also is way easier when she isn’t thoroughly sick of being pestered and chased by you, when she’s trying ignore you. Patience is a virtue.

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After Begging

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So, you went to or contacted your ex-boyfriend and begged and pleaded for him to come back into a relationship with you. Didn’t go too well, did it? The problem with this strategy of reconciliation, is that, it doesn’t solve any of the underlying issues which led to the break up and it also knocks your perceived value down a few notches…that’s not good.

Nevertheless, is it still possible to get him back after you’ve already gotten down on your knees and begged him to make it so? Yes, it is possible but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is probable. In this post, I want to explore a bit more in depth on begging for your ex-boyfriend back and how to move forward with things after this has already happened.

I Begged Him to Take Me Back: On Perceived Value

make dem changes

Our perceptions define and influence so many decisions in our lives everyday. Literally, every aspect is run through our perceptive instruments (sight, touch, smell, etc) and then interpreted by our brains.

This includes how we value people, places, and things. For instance, a man in a business suit is perceived more favorably in general than the homeless man sitting on the corner in tattered rags.

The male model with hundreds of friends, fame, financial success is more highly valued (in social terms) than the nerdy guy playing WOW all day in his parent’s basement.

This carries over to relationship dynamics and desire. After the break up, one’s ex-boyfriend may already have a lowered perceived value of you, due to circumstances involved in the causes of the break up (lying, cheating, boredom, staleness, etc).

Now, this power dynamic may shift even further, if he is the one who initiated the end of the relationship. If only one party wanted the break up to happen, then that person holds all of the cards, as they at least on some level feels as if they no longer need the partnership in their lives.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, post-breakup, our perceptions of our former partners can change drastically. If an ex-boyfriend has a lowered perceived value of his old girlfriend and she comes back begging for him to resume the relationship, is this going to help or hurt her chances?

Obviously, it will further diminish the perceived value of the woman in his eyes. He already is preparing to move forward (how much so depends on the man and situation), and so, he is in a situation where he knows that he can get his ex back at anytime.

Why is this bad? Human beings have a tendency to overlook people/things that are already familiar and easily obtained. It’s not exciting and it’s not a turn on to have someone grovel to make things go back to how they once were.

It makes one appear unattractive and as if they don’t have any other option (whether that is true or not). The perceived value has been greatly diminished. It can be further taken down by displaying these sorts of characteristics:

  • emotional instability
  • obsessiveness
  • being way too available
  • neediness
  • showing no signs of being able to move forward

As a man, I can tell you that, most of the fun and desire upon meeting someone new is involved in the whole ‘chase’, so to speak.

Finding a new girl who doesn’t know you at all and then building that attraction is like trying to solve a complex problem to us. This is why if prostitution were legal in most places, a lot of guys would never go see one, as the whole ‘chase’ is gone…it’s too easy and just doesn’t feel natural.

This same type of feeling occurs when a relationship has ended and the perceived value is lowered…there’s nothing new or exciting, she’s begging him, and he has all the power to say yes whenever he so desires.

Desperation is never attractive. It can’t be based on the dynamics of human relationships.

As such, unless an ex-boyfriend has some sort of sick mind, that loves watching a woman beg…it’s going to not work out well. The begging and pleading strategy is probably the most common one out there, and if it worked well, there’d be way more people reconciling than actually are.

Does This Relationship Even Need to Be Re-Started?

The sun will come out...

The sun will come out…

Now that we have a general overview of what begging does to one’s perceived value following a break up with an ex-boyfriend, we must consider whether or not a reconciliation is even worth pursuing.

This is the ‘move on’ question posited by this website. I do not believe that most relationships should even be attempted to be salvaged. Many are too damaged, not good enough fits, and the desire for reconciliation is just based on loneliness and fear of being alone.

This is why I always like to grieve the end of a relationship, regroup, reassess whether or not I want to get back together, and then no matter what the decision…prepare myself mentally/emotionally that the relationship is probably done for good.

Understand that: even if you want an ex back, it isn’t always a reality and one should always prep for the most likely scenario, especially when that’s something you might not want to come to pass.

This is the part where one must dig in, and try to strip away all emotional baggage to the best of one’s ability, in order to determine whether or not it is even worth getting back together.

We have a tendency to idealize a relationship once its over and that empty feeling we get inside, impels us to try to reconcile in hopes that it makes us feel better. It’s often not even the person or the relationship that we miss, just the positive emotional boost we got from it.

The main flaw with chasing a broken relationship, is that, even if it succeeds the fundamental issues which led to the break up are still lurking around.

Just because reconciliation happens doesn’t mean that everything is all good now. In fact, things generally tend to get worse after a brief ‘honeymoon’ period.

Ask yourself, what are the underlying problems with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Are they on him? Are some on you? What is the likelihood that either of you will change? Can you honestly say that getting back together is actually what you want? What will things look like a year from now, if you succeed? Better? The same? Worse?

If there are consistent doubts to the likelihood of success either getting back together or keeping it that way once you have or if it is truly what you want to happen…it is a very good idea to consider moving on from the relationship.

Yes, it hurts a lot and it’s naturally going to be tough. However, that’s a part of life and the lows we endure are what makes the highs we experience when we are with the right person worth it. Just because someone is a good fit for you doesn’t make them the right fit for you.

Can You Get Them Back After Begging?

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The answer is a yes, but. Yes, it is possible to get him back BUT whether or not it is probable depends on a number of variables that are specific to your own situation.

I can’t answer the likelihood of reconciliation exactly but I can try to point in the right direction as to what must occur for things to get better.

First of all, it could be a long and arduous process, which is why moving on is probably the best option for most folks. You may find that after a period of time apart from one another, you don’t even want him back.

I mean, if this isn’t your first relationship ever, can you think back to how you used to feel about another ex-boyfriend and compare that to how you feel now?

There have been several girls that I was absolutely wild about once upon a time who I never even cross my mind at this point.

Time healed my emotional attachment, I grew as a person, and my needs and desires in a partner changed drastically. 22 year old me has no bearing on how I feel in my current life, nor does any girl I dated back then.

We’ve already discussed perceived value and starting from a lowered perceived value is a tough climb to make. You’ve become more akin to the undesirable nerd in his eyes than the insanely attractive seductress…sorry, it’s not to be mean, this happens to all of us from time to time.

How much damage has been done depends on your own individual circumstances.

For some reading this, things might not be that bad and could feasibly be patched up. For others, it’s almost certainly the end of the relationship…again, this is something we all have to experience and learn to move through in our lives.

Also, it depends on factors such as whether or not you cheated or betrayed his trust. Factors like this are a huge drop in one’s value and reputation for a guy. For me, it’s an automatic deal breaker.

The guy’s life and circumstances also play into the possibility of getting back together. If he is the type to have no problem getting other women, then moving on from this relationship will be much easier.

A guy without options, might have a tendency to want to get back with a girl he’s already had a relationship with…which actually can lower his perceived value.

Raise Your Value and Change Your Behavior

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Obviously, if damage has been done to how attractive one is in another’s eyes, then to have a shot of getting back with them, that trend must be reversed. In order to do that, you must consider the factors of what makes a woman attractive to a man, and enhance them on all fronts. Again, this is something that can take a great deal of time and STILL FAIL when improved upon.

Now, we should consider:

  • behavior
  • physical
  • social

Dealing with a guy who already knows you, he already knows the good and bad, and expects certain patterns from you based on experience. This makes it even harder to change the perception of value.

The behavior patterns that must change are the one’s I listed before…the begging, obsessiveness, neediness, jealousy, etc. All of these behaviors make people look really bad and aren’t seductive or attractive in the least.

This is yet another reason I suggest preparing to move on because when you emotionally move forward all these behaviors tend to fall away by themselves which naturally makes you more attractive.

Besides the desperate and irritating variety of behavior there are also the better types of behaviors like trying to genuinely be happy and supportive of an ex-boyfriend, even if there is no shot of getting together again. This isn’t sour grapes. This is actually loving someone and not merely being possessive of them and then calling it ‘love’.

Behavior also includes making changes in your life for the better such as: going back to school, new job, traveling, breaking out of a stale routine, etc.

Don’t do it just to do it but it can be a great idea after a relationship to begin to explore new things and take on new challenges.

It can also be very attractive, as there is no desperation present. The focus is on you and creating a wonderful life and not on him and trying to hold on to the past.

Physically, alterations can take place like getting yourself into fantastic shape or switching up to a better personal style. Physical changes are most noticeable at first and can be quite a shock…if they’re for the better! Not just some weird look the reeks of being desperate for attention.

Finally, there is the social aspect. Being desired by others will get people’s attention who otherwise might no longer have any interest.

Think about it, if your ex was surrounded by a bunch of other women, wouldn’t that make you want him more on some level?

Of course. It’s natural supply and demand. The same reason you can slap a designer logo on a plain t-shirt and charge $50+, the perception of value is much higher, even if there is nothing inherently different about it.

I tend to try to date other women after a break up because it naturally reminds me that their are other options out there for me and it helps me move forward. That’s what I suggest doing it for.

It can also, however, make you seem more attractive to an ex because if other people want to date you or even just be your friends, it can make someone second guess and think that they might have missed something special about you.

Remember that men like to chase, if he has no reason to pursue you, he isn’t going to. Ultimately, the dynamic must be flipped so that you are the one who is desired and not the one who is begging and pleading. This is why it’s such a tough nut to crack.

No Contact After Begging to Get Him Back?

Obviously, the one aspect that definitely needs to be changed in this scenario, is the begging.

The best way to accomplish this, is by going no contact for a period of time, usually a month or two will suffice.

If you’re not talking to him, you’re no longer pushing him away or turning him off, with the pleading to reconcile. Instead, you are taking the time to work on yourself, and get better as a person regardless of whether the relationship is saved or not.

The No Contact Rule is used to calm the emotional turmoil, give one another space, and clarity about what the future should be like. Not desperately trying to rekindle the past, but to create something that will be better in the future.

Also, time can help to erase some of the desperation that lingers over you, in his mind. I remember a long time ago, begging one of my ex-girlfriends, and her having no interest. Then, I went hard no contact (I actually decided to move on with my life), and a few months later she reached out to me.

It was as if she had no memory, of my former desperation to get her back. Time had robbed it of all importance. The images that people have in their minds about you, aren’t always fixed, and the negative can be forgotten when compared to the good.

Remember that, the no contact period is as much about you, as it is about not bothering him. In conjunction with not texting or calling or trying to see him, you are, improving yourself and attempting to make things good enough for him to want to come back.

Once this time period is over with and you feel as though, you have made progress on your goals, then contact can be re-established. From there, it might be a slower build to feel out, whether or not he’d be open to seeing you. If so, then perhaps a date can occur, or at least some sort of meeting to clear the air.

What’s the first move?

After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.

Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a man gets a call out of the blue, he may not be in the mood right then to talk.

With texts, he can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.

This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.

He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Is My Ex-Girlfriend Happy Without Me?

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At some point in time after a break up takes place, you may run into an ex or see pictures of her on social media, and she looks super into how her life currently is. You know, the one that no longer really involves you. The thought will then cross a man’s mind, “Is my ex-girlfriend really happy without me?”

It can be quite a blow to our ego/self-esteem, to realize that, there indeed may be a bright future for someone that we cared about; and no longer has anything to do with us.

In this post, I want to explore this phenomenon a bit, and how to deal with the realization that an ex-girlfriend may be happier afterward…and why it ultimately shouldn’t matter.

What is happiness?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, before I directly delve into whether or not an ex-girlfriend is actually happier without you and/or with her new rebound boyfriend. I want to try to gain an understanding of happiness.

Despite its common usage, ‘happiness’, is actually kind of a nebulous term. It can really be difficult to pin down what it means and if someone is in that state.

What is happiness? Is it that warm positive emotion or is it some kind of internal sense of satisfaction? Is it something that is continuous or is it a fleeting moment of everything seeming to be ‘right’ in one’s life?

One thing that us human beings are really good at is making ourselves the center of attention in our own minds.

We say or think things like, “Why is everyone else happy BUT me!” The real question should be, “Are any of those people you’re thinking about really happy?” And if so, what does happiness mean to them?

It gets lonely sometimes

There are plenty of folks who outwardly seem happy and have plenty of photos on Facebook and Instagram to prove it to you. Like a duck on water, everything is seemingly calm on the surface, while their legs are churning like crazy below just to keep afloat.

There are a ton of people just like that, outwardly it seems like everything is all good, but inwardly…they’re falling apart.

The question of whether or not an ex is ‘happier’ without you, really comes down to the definition of what one means by happiness. Is it the feeling? Is it some contentment? Or does she feel better off without you in her life?

Now, her ‘happiness’ may also be a massive front, that she is putting on. Maybe she wants to make you think that she is happy, just to make you feel bad about it.

Hell, a lot of people actually buy into their own lies. Meaning, they front so hard acting like they’re in a great place, but any sort of challenge to that facade…and the house of cards collapses.

Another scenario, may be that she is actually just content being alone right now. If she has a man, maybe he really does make her feel wonderful.

That’s not a knock against you, he’s just a better fit for her, at this time. Just as if you met some amazing girl, who overshadowed your ex. It really doesn’t diminish your time together, as that is already in the past, and done with.

My Ex-Girlfriend Seems Happier Is She?

Perhaps. That doesn’t make it a bad thing for you, though. The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of relationships will fail eventually.

It’s just a part of the game. Things can grow stale, people grow apart, or that particular relationship no longer provides the same benefits that it once did.

For instance, there are girls that I dated around the age of 21, who I liked a whole lot at that point in time. Our time together was great.

However, fast forward to the age of 30, and if we tried to date one another; it would be an utter disaster. We aren’t in the same place in our lives anymore, for it to be a good fit.

You can be perfectly content to be involved with someone else, and then a few months later, the situation no longer fits you.

In this sense, a person may indeed be happier without their ex in their lives, but it’s really just being in a different mindset and/or wanting to go in a new direction.

I mean, think about how many women you have liked/been attracted to, in your life. Was it always this one girl? What happened to the other one’s that you had a crush on or a full blown relationship with? When did they suddenly feel less special in your own mind?

Times change and people change and this may exactly be what happened with your ex. Now is she happier without you? She might not even know the answer to that question.

Besides, is it the fact that she feels happy, that is bothering you? Before the break up, you’d been happy that she is happy. So, is it the fact that you’re not the source of those feelings anymore? Or is it the image of seeing her, get along fine without you?

You can get along fine without her, too. You both win, in this scenario.

What does it matter?

Let’s just for sake of argument assume that your ex-girlfriend is indeed happier without you and possibly with someone else. What of it?

Again, the two of you may no longer (or never were) a great fit, even if you still think that you are. Hell, it might still theoretically be a good relationship, if it worked out.

However, a successful relationship cannot be had while one person isn’t completely into it (her), even if the other person is (possibly you).

Secondly, if she is happy shouldn’t you be glad that she’s doing well (if you care for her still)? At the very least, if you don’t care about her or she screwed you over, isn’t it best to be indifferent towards what she does now?

The danger in the post-breakup period is to get into this comparison competition of who is doing ‘better’ after the split. What nonsense. You do not need to compete with her, any new guy she’s dating, or anything of the sort.

The focus should be on you and what you want with your life, while letting go of the relationship that played such a large role. Yes, it can take time, but getting over a breakup cannot happen when you are in constant comparison and competition.

Unless a reconciliation is in the cards, the relationship is done, and the natural growing apart is going to take place.

Getting stuck in the past on how things used to be, is just going to lead to very unhappy results for you, regardless of whether or not she is actually happy. It’s ultimately irrelevant.

None of this is to say of course, that you shouldn’t take any lessons from the relationship ending.

If she is happier without you, was there any thing that you can actually change about yourself to improve in the future? Or were the issues not things you can change  about yourself (which just means that two people aren’t fully compatible).

In the end, it is never truly about her and her happiness or lack thereof…it is all about you and how you react to the situation.

It’s basically ego, “Why is she happy without me? Am I not good enough?” “What’s so great about her new boyfriend? I’m better than him.”

The only way to get past this sort of self-centered thinking is to let go of it all and realize that her life is not about you.

Let go of worrying about what she’s doing, and focus on, what’s best for your life. These kinds of thoughts will weigh you down, in the long run.

Secondly, outside of the lessons that you can learn for future reference from them, these thoughts aren’t helpful.

Her happiness should not effect how you feel. If she feels bad, you shouldn’t feel happy, and vice versa. Things are as they are currently. Accept this and begin the process of moving forward. What are your goals outside of women? What do you want to do? Her happiness doesn’t need to create misery, so, don’t let it anymore.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Get an Ex-Boyfriend Back If He Hates You?

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There are some break up situations in which things are cordial and even somewhat friendly between former lovers. There is no hostility and indeed some sort of reverence toward one another that could be very useful if the exes want to get back together. On the other hand, there are other broken relationships in which they really are ‘broken’, in that, one party has an intensely negative attitude towards their former partner. It can manifest into actual hatred or something closely resembling it.

This type of animosity may be short lived anger towards an action on your part or a deep and intense hatred of you as a person. What can one do to save a relationship if their ex-boyfriend seems to hate them?

Time Apart

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Situations which are intensely emotional tend to cool off in the long-term. The issue is getting to that long-term mellowing out without completely pushing that person away.

We all have things in our past that at one time really upset us and now when we look back it isn’t a big deal at all. This can be especially true in a breakup scenario because of the addictive quality of love.

I can remember being sad or angry at an ex-girlfriend to the point that it was all thought about for weeks. Fast forward to the present time and I don’t even think about these girls anymore.

It’s a strange thing but time does work wonders if you let it. The key is to not let it drag on too long, to the point which your ex moves on completely. However, bothering them during a period in which they need to work out these intense feelings can also backfire on your aims to get them back.

So, your ex-boyfriend is utterly pissed at you and now you have searched to find out how to deal with this new found hate. On the scale of likelihood of getting one’s ex back, having one hate you is on the lower end of probability. That is, if he actually hates you.

Before you can even attempt to get out of such a bind, you must give him space and time. Meanwhile, you assess your chances of actually turning these feelings positive, or if you even want to.

One’s natural tendency is to keep trying to reach out to, reason with, beg, say you’re sorry to your ex-boyfriend. Thinking that, if you just keep it up, he’ll realize his anger is wrong and come back.

While it is an intuitive thing to do, it isn’t the correct thing to do in most circumstances and can actually push someone away further.

Taking a period of no contact can be beneficial for the both of you, as it allows you to have time to really sort things out and to let emotions settle down a bit. Constantly contacting your ex makes you seem unattractive, desperate, and kind of annoying to your ex…not qualities someone wants in a partner.

No Contact can be a very hard time to get through and trying to resist the urge to talk to them when your are feeling lonely can be brutal. I would usually give it at least a month where we can each be alone and figure out what we want to do with our lives.

During this no contact period, it is important that you work on yourself and any issues you may have caused in the relationship. Think deeply and analyze if you truly want to get him back or if emotions are currently pushing you that way. In time, you may find that the best course to take is to simply move on and start dating other men.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Yes, I know, it seems like in the heat of the moment that there is no other options beside reconciliation. Though, that’s not really the case.

The more positivity you bring into your mind, and the more time apart, your outlook can change dramatically. Suddenly, you may come to realize that you want something completely different for yourself.

In fact, you might actually not any relationship, at the moment and decide to take your life in another direction.

It is important that we work on ourselves, after breakups, as it not only really helps the healing process; but also, it can give us greater clarity that perhaps we haven’t been living the life we really wanted to. Maybe, our relationship that ended badly, needed to end when it did.

Conversely, you may come to realize that you do indeed want to try and get the ex-boyfriend back. However, one still needs to accept the fact, that it might be gone for good. Always prepare for multiple outcomes, whether you end up back together, or single, or with another man eventually.

What Did You Do To Make Him Hate You?

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Your ex may actually hate you or it may just be a passing phase. In any case, what were the causes to set him against you in such a way. Did you cheat on him? This complicates things further and makes getting him back a very low value proposition.

In that type of situation, not only can it be difficult to get him to talk to you, and get him interested in reconciling the relationship. But also, having to go back and create a new relationship, based on trust and forgiveness.

It’s a longer term rehabilitation project, that has to discard older aspects of the failed relationship, and create newer stronger ties.

If you have angered him this much, think about what the issue is and why you did it. Was it a one time thing? Was this a constant or repeated behavior of yours? What have you done to change for the better? Can you even change this for him?

If cheating was the case, are you prepared to not see any other men for good? Is that honestly what you want, exclusivity with your ex?

It’s fine, if you actually just want to go out and see a bunch of different men, just be honest with yourself about it. Don’t try to drag your ex back into that situation, just because you currently have intense feelings, about the breakup.

If you cannot control those lustful impulses around other guys now, will you be able to in the future? If being monogamous, is what you want, you will need to be able to deal with these feelings when they arise. Otherwise, you’ll repeat the same mistakes again.

There are obviously things that you need to work on for him to consider taking you back in the future. What are these issues you need to correct? Figure out what they are and then come up with a plan to change them.

Literally, think about what all of your potential issues are. What did he really dislike about your role in the relationship? Be extremely honest, but don’t beat yourself up. What are your faults (we all have them) and what can you do to begin to move in a new direction?

Does He Actually Hate You, Can He Love You Again?

Sometimes, with enough time apart from each other, he may have calmed down and be willing to have an open dialogue with you.

Other times, he may not ever want to come back no matter what, this is a possibility you need to accept and be willing to move forward from. You cannot force someone into wanting to be with you and there are times when it is best to simply cut your losses.

After taking a period of no contact to evaluate things, you may still be unsure if your ex-boyfriend is open to taking you back or not.

You also, may have decided that you actually do want to try to work things out as well. Here are some indicators of interest that your ex may be open to at least discussing reconciliation.

The opening of a potential reconciliation can usually be done through text message. It is a way to send out feelers to see how he may think of you at this time.

Getting any reply is better than getting none at all but understand they may be short one word responses that don’t lead where you want them to. It is a steady progression of getting them to open up.

What’s the first move?

So, once we go through a period of no contact, we may want to re-open the lines of communication. That is, if we actually still want to reconcile this broken relationship.

Like I said, plenty of times, people recognize that they were simple being too emotional. They didn’t actually want the relationship back, rather, they wanted to pain of the break up to subside.

Anyway, if we do want to try to mend things, we need to establish contact and feel things out. The best way to do this is through the use of text messages.

Texts are great, as they don’t need to be in the mood to respond, right when they get the message. They can come back later on, when their curiosity is piqued, and see what it is you want from them exactly.

It’s a much higher rate of response, than say, calling them out of the blue or trying to ‘accidentally’ run into them.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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