There are plenty of end of the relationship scenarios in which, the lady who broke up with the guy, has time to think on what they’ve done and decides that dumping that man was a bad choice. This can happen for a multitude of reasons.
In some cases, they acted on pure emotion in the moment of the break up, and later panicked when the logical part of their brain came back online.
Other women, go out into the dating world, and have a rough time finding a man who will commit to them or guys that are even decent people.
For whatever the cause, the man who got broken up with in the first place, now has to decide whether they even want this woman back in a relationship. Is it even a good idea to take you ex-girlfriend back after she dumped you?
The answer is of course, going to depend wholly only your unique circumstances but let us look toward some things to consider.
Why Did the Break Up Happen in the First Place?
The first consideration and issue to identify is, why did your ex break up with you in the first place? What were her stated reasons and also can you identify any other reasons that she never mentioned BUT you have a feeling was a problem?
Take a good look at the reasoning behind the break up.
Were they frivolous?
Or were they made in haste?
If a girl would break up with you over almost nonsensical issues, is she actually a good long-term fit or does she have a big immature streak?
What kind of actual commitment are you going to get from someone who is so flippant with their reasons for leaving?
Another potential issue is whether or not she broke up with you to date another guy or to play the field.
If she left to go explore a dating life outside of the one she had with you, how serious can she possibly be? She didn’t like being tied down before and now she’s ready to jump into a committed relationship again? Hmmm…that would make me think for a while.
I’m not saying that a woman coming back, doesn’t truly want to be together with you.
However, you also have an obligation to yourself to do your due diligence and question, why now?
If the situation was so bad in the past, that she had to leave, what would make it suddenly better?
Did she have some kind of revelation or did she learn how tough the dating world can be and ended up feeling lonely?
You cannot just be under the assumption that she is ready to really be together with you. She might be emotionally all over the place, confused about what she truly wants, and sees you as a situation that is familiar to her.
Now, that you have narrowed in on the reasons that the breakup took place and potentially why she wants back in, ask yourself…what has actually changed? How is the failed relationship going to succeed on the second go round?
Since there were a set of problems that doomed the relationship, there must be answers to solve those issues. If not, things will eventually collapse again, usually after a ‘honeymoon’ period where things are all good.
Were most of the problems of the relationship caused by you or by her?
Are the negatives that you brought to the table, things that you are willing or able to fix?
What about her, what will she do to make things work better this time?
Change is a very difficult thing for most people to truly do. They can make surface level changes easily but digging deep down and actually altering their fundamental being or lifestyle habits is hard.
Don’t chase what went well in the past because any new situation is basically a new relationship, as the old one could not be maintained for the long haul. Can you actually see the changes that need to take place happening? This should factor into whether or not to take an ex-girlfriend back.
What Do You Want in Your Life?
The post-breakup situation causes life to shift, often in dramatic ways.
After going through the whole time period of being alone, what is it that you want from life now?
Does she even fit in your plans any more?
Do you honestly want to go down the path of reconciliation or are you just dealing with the pull that strong emotions can have after a relationship ends?
There is a tendency to begin thinking about all of the good times spent with one another. However, the negatives cannot be glossed over or overlooked because they will arise once again in any new version of the relationship.
Don’t get stuck in the mindset of believing that everything was rosy, when there were fundamental problems with the situation, between you and your ex-girlfriend.
If there is still a great deal of uncertainty, try not to rush back into things with her. You can still consider it but don’t let strong emotions overpower your judgment.
This can especially be the case if you’re in transition with the other areas of your life such as career, where you’re living, education, or even just wanting to start fresh on your own.
Rushing back into a dysfunctional relationship can alter your other life plans and then that reconciliation will eventually fail too…which can waste both of yours time and effort.
Really take the time to properly consider everything about the relationship, her, and what you want for your life. With time, a clearer understanding will come to light.
If after a thorough investigation into whether or not to get back together, you’re still unsure, then the best answer is probably a firm ‘no’. You cannot be unsure about this, because the problems will simply come up again in the future.
So, you’re ex-girlfriend has blocked you on Facebook, eh? That sounds so odd, to someone like me, who was on Facebook way back when it was only available for students at certain universities and it was still some weird thing which you added ‘friends’ to and had a ‘wall’ for posting messages.
So, I guess nowadays being blocked on a social media platform is a big deal, especially when that person happens to be your old girlfriend.
OK then, I suppose we will have to approach this issue on several fronts and get down to the nitty gritty of your particular situation.
I’m going to try to generalize this post to fit the array of social media apps, sites, and whatnot…so this will apply to whether or not you’ve been blocked on AOL Instant Messenger (that’s still around, right?) or Snapchat (I have no idea what this is) or Instagram (yay half naked models!) or the experience known as Facebook. Let’s get started.
Determine if this is a Big Deal
I generally like to take a different approach to breakups, in that, I generally believe them to be useful and that it really isn’t a great idea for most people to get back together.
Why is this?
Losing a relationship puts people in a intensely emotional head space, which can allow them to make bad decisions in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is a bad decision (like getting back together with your ex-girl).
As such, I must first ask, is it a big deal that she blocked you on Facebook? Why does this upset you? Is this the first sign that you should start moving forward with life?
Yes, it does hurt to lose a relationship and especially when they cut off communication avenues but this is often for the best in our lives.
It’s difficult to see how things will eventually be better when you are currently in the thick of things. However, accepting and surrendering to change in our lives is a part of being human.
Perhaps, her blocking the lines of communication with you will be a greater catalyst for you to change the course of your life.
Then, if you still had the capability to reach out to her on a daily basis…which only serves to keep the mental feedback loop going.
You send her a message, she responds, you get pleasant feelings that reinforce your current mental addiction to the remains of this relationship.
Also, there remains the fact that social media is pretty stupid and unimportant in a variety of ways.
It often causes more problems in relationships including jealousy and snooping around in other folks business, then it does bring them together.
Don’t allow yourself to wrap up your identity in what occurs in social media, as it is ultimately a phantom reality.
Why Did She Block You?
Women can block you for a multitude of specific reasons. However, it basically boils down to a short term and long term.
She may block you in the short term because she is upset with you about something, hurt about the end of the relationship, or she just wants time away from you.
From the long term perspective, she wants to live her life and move forward without your influence interfering.
I always think that the best course of action is to plan for the long-term (meaning, the relationship is permanently over) possibility.
Taking the steps to move forward with your life, is always the best idea because it allows for growth and change to occur, which ultimately benefit you.
You are always the most important aspect of your life, women will come and go, but you are the one constant. So, learn to be happy with yourself.
How Did She Block You?
Did she only block you on Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp?
The former can bode well for the possibility of getting back together later, while the latter points to the relationship being completely over for the foreseeable future.
Well, if she hasn’t cut you off across the board, her blocking you on Facebook isn’t a big deal.
Like, you could still communicate with her if need be, but this is probably a good time to lay off the communication.
You should give her space and give yourself time to further heal the emotional pain, without her being in your life.
Time can often reveal the correct course of action to take for your particular situation, you just have to be willing to allow time to pass without doing anything to try and ‘fix’ the broken relationship.
If she has blocked you across the board. There really isn’t anything that can be done in the immediate term. This is a situation which you must wait out and see if there is any change of heart from her side.
If you did something like cheat on her, then she’s probably really hurt and may never want to speak to you again. She might forgive eventually but she’ll need plenty of time apart.
She also might just want to experience her life without you and just wants to get on with creating a new life for herself. This is something you should also be doing.
Yes, everyone is looking for advice on the best action to take in whatever situation they are in BUT sometimes doing absolutely nothing but waiting it out is the only option available.
Doing nothing in regards to trying to make communication between the two of you happen. This doesn’t mean that one sits around twiddling his thumbs.
It just means to leave her alone for right now, and see if the intense emotions die down a bit. It’s really all you can do in a situation where you cannot communicate with her at all.
So, do this:
Treat the relationship as if it is completely over
Find new hobbies, opportunities, friends, dates, etc. to help spark positive change in your life
If the lines of communication do open up eventually, reevaluate if you still even want to try to fix this relationship.
Listen, the waiting game can absolutely suck, especially if you let emotions dictate your life and don’t deal with them or let these feelings heal.
The brain will tell us to try this or that to try and ‘fix’ the relationship, even when it cannot be fixed, or there is no clear path to take.
Letting the situation be as it is, absolutely does work as it is supposed to.
She may move on with her life or she may change her mind in a few months and want to work things out. That is not up to you to decide nor is it something that you can even control.
I’ve had women I’ve dated, break up with me, and then reach out to me months later for us to: talk, hang out, get back together, etc.
It’s funny though, once that had occurred, I had no interest in them any longer because I wasn’t the same person as I had been.
Don’t get stuck in the BS and keep growing as a person, regardless of who might like you or want to be in a relationship with you at the moment.
All in all, getting blocked on social media is just another aspect of dating one must apparently deal with in this modern technological world.
There’s nothing inherently different about being cut off on Facebook, even if you could still send her a message, there is no guarantee that she would respond or have a positive response towards you if she did write back.
This is one of the opportunities in life in which you must learn to let go and not try to control the outcome because you can’t. You can wait it out, improve you life, and maybe the two of you can work things out at a later date.
With the advent of mobile technology, communication among people has never been easier. This can be a really good thing for the most part but like anything else in life it can have its downsides.
For one, text message technology can make it very easy to come off as desperate or needy when talking to the opposite sex, this a big problem, especially when it is your ex-girlfriend you are trying to communicate with.
If it is easy to seem desperate through text messaging, could one avoid that pathetic label, and use text to get an ex-girlfriend back?
Sure, but it would have to be done right and be understood that it might not work at all.
Is it the Right Time to Text Your Ex?
One of the biggest issues in terms of rekindling a relationship is not letting enough time pass before attempting to get things start up again.
Time is important because it allows the dust to settle and for both parties to move on somewhat with their lives to explore what they truly want.
When you first break up with someone, the emotion can be overpowering and can override any logic or clarity you may have about the situation.
Meaning, you may feel like you want her back now and truly believe that, but with time and proper perspective you will realize that she wasn’t really the best choice for your life moving forward.
People can be great in our lives during certain periods of time and then be completely wrong as we live, learn, and grow as people.
That’s perfectly natural and yes it can be scary to let someone go when you don’t really know where you’re heading yourself. However, it is sometimes necessary to change and clinging on to a relationship can have bad consequences in the long term.
So, before any type of plan can be put in place to try and get an ex back, one must first come to terms with their emotions and gain clarity on their life.
One must be sure without clouded judgment that getting the ex-girlfriend in your life again is exactly what you really want to do.
For those who have taken the time to consider things and still want to press forward, here is a program that walks you through how to get your ex back through text messaging step by step:
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
There are many different circumstances, one could find themselves in, following the demise of a relationship. Sometimes, your ex-girlfriend is still single for a long period of time after the break up. Maybe, she has gone through a series of rebounds, that weren’t very serious. Other times, a serious relationship may follow another, to simply divest themselves emotionally from the previous one and want to move on with their lives. There are a lot of ways people ‘move on’ from a break up either alone or with other people. But how does one get an old girlfriend back, when she has decided to go forward with her life?
She’s Moved On with Someone Else?
Assessing the Situation
Different folks have different levels of commitment to their decisions in life. For some, deciding that they’re done with a relationship is a finality. They make up their minds and it’s over completely. For others, their mind wavers, they can’t seem to let go of the past or questioning whether or not they’re making a poor decision.
It is because of these varying personalities and levels of commitment, that a wide variety of potential outcomes exist when trying to get together with an ex-girlfriend.
Also, there is the variable of whether or not she is single, in a relationship currently, or dating multiple guys casually. All of which presents its own set of problems and limitations.
In the situation where she is currently in a relationship, it can be extremely difficult to try to get back together with an ex, and most of the time simply not even worth trying to do. I mean, you have to both hope that her relationship ends, and that she’d even want to get back with you. Both variables are outside of your control.
When she moves on, it can be a definite thing, and once she’s confident in her decision, there is very little that you can say or do to help to change her mind. The reality of the situation is that she may indeed be gone for good, and if it has gotten to this point, that it is very likely that she is.
It is important that you start to see things how they really are. Stop the notions in your head that everything will all be fixed, if you just do one or two things, to make the relationship happen again. If you’re relationship has ended, then it definitely had problems, simple as that.
Thinking that things will be the same if you were to get back together is a form of delusion on your part. Even if you were to get back together with her, things wouldn’t be the same, the relationship would have to evolve into a new form in order to have a chance of succeeding.
Things change and people do too. If she has changed enough to move on from the relationship, then that is a good sign that you should probably do the same. At least enough to learn how to live on your own again, before trying to jump start the failed relationship.
make dem changes
Moving on, for your part, means learning to accept things as they are now and to learn to be happy on your own. Learn to cope with the lonelinessand figure out ways to grow as a person, so that you can make a sound decision about what route you want to follow, either moving on completely or actually trying to make things work with her.
These addictive feelings you may have for her are not healthy, and are not a valid reason, to try and get back together. They are simply a form of dependency.
Avoiding Mistakes that Make the Situation Worse, in the Meantime
When taking the time to decide what path to pursue, it is important that we don’t make any further mistakes, that can make reconciliation even less likely.
There’s no sense in doing something stupid, that makes the task of getting a girl back, unnecessarily more difficult. A break up has already happened and she’s with another guy, the odds are already high enough against us.
First, it’s a really good idea to not talk with her about the new guy. Don’t interfere in their relationship, as it’ll only serve to push them closer together.
It doesn’t matter really what you have to say about him. Hell, you may be completely correct in your appraisal, but she won’t care. It’ll just come across as you, trying to mess things up, for her.
Next, No Contact is a part of the process, but beyond just not talking about her current boyfriend…all of the other stuff needs to be cut out, as well. What other stuff?
Texting and calling constantly. Begging and pleading. Getting mad and yelling at her. Passive aggressiveness. Just generally being an ass.
Also, being totally ‘buddy buddy’ with her. The two of you are broken up. The back and forth shouldn’t be going on constantly, unless you want to get stuck in the friend zone.
She’s not going to come back to someone who acts like a lap dog or her good pal. Being overzealous or super emotional, isn’t going to help, over text or the phone. Cut it out.
Don’t Try to Talk Her Into Getting Back Together
If all it took to get someone back, was a well-reasoned presentation, people would have no problems. This would be easy as hell.
However, we know that to be untrue. There are many variables at play, people want different things, and cannot be convinced in one long text or phone conversation.
Eventually, things can get to the point, where there is one final choice made to reconcile the relationship. That’s not the time, we’re at here. It’s going to take more effort, and still might not workout, despite showing patience.
It’s not just a rational conversation to be had. She has emotions, her own desires, and plans for her life. We cannot simply impose ourselves or change all of that with a drawn out argument.
We cannot force things to happen the way we want, in one fell swoop. Let go of trying to control everything, take the right course of action, and accept the outcome whatever it may be.
We are even at a different stage, than a regular break up, as she’s now involved with another guy. So, it’s even less likely that the begging route is going to work out well.
It’s kind of too late to prove that you’ll change and magically fix things, in a fairly quick manner. Yes, it is possible to get a girl back, when she’s dating someone else but we cannot approach the problem in the same way.
Don’t Compare Yourself to the New Boyfriend
We don’t need to compare ourselves to some other guy. Especially, overtly to the ex-girlfriend.
However, the thoughts we have about this, can also drag us down and make us behave emotionally and irrationally. That’s really not ideal, in this scenario.
For one thing, you probably don’t know how ‘serious’ the new relationship is. He might just be a temporary fix. A rebound relationship, that will fall apart in a short amount of time.
Secondly, she probably likes him for entirely different reasons, than she did with you. Don’t try to outcompete someone by being like him. You’re you, yes, we should improve on what we are…but don’t try to mimic someone else’s success.
The way I’ve always treated it, when some woman I wanted, had a different guy was to almost be indifferent to him. I don’t need to try and tear him down, she’s the only one I need to have warm up to me. He’s almost completely irrelevant to the equation, in my mind. Nothing to bother with, even if she ends up with him, after everything.
Also consider, this guy might not have any serious long-term plans. He might dump her, within a few months. Maybe, he figures out it was a mistake to get involved with her. Maybe, he decides he wants to just sleep with a bunch of other women.
People can fly in and out of these short-term relationships, quite often. Most short-term flings, don’t work out well, when they turn into something ‘more serious’. Who knows, what the outcome will be?
How to Pursue a Reconciliation
There is a great deal of fear and uncertainty following a break up. This can be especially true, if you see your ex-girlfriend moving on, while you are still pining for her everyday. It feels like you haven’t really done anything with your life since she left.
There may be a fear that if you do not get her back that you will end up alone. That doesn’t have to be the case, there are plenty of other girls out there who are available, but you also need to be strong enough to learn how to be happy on your own.
Learn not to be stuck in the past, or chasing after your ex, who may no longer be interested in you.
Acceptance of the Outcome
Whether or not she ever gets back together with you, there needs to be an acceptance to move on with your own life, regardless of the outcome. If she comes back, cool. If not, also fine. Life can’t stop moving forward, just because one person, no longer wants the same relationship that they did before.
This is the first step towards getting past any break up. Plus, any reconciliation that takes place is basically a new relationship, and the old baggage needs to be left behind.
No Contact and Focus on The Self
In order to get back together with someone, you have to be able to re-attract them. This can be super hard to do and doesn’t always work…which is why we need to accept the outcome.
However, one is definitely not going to appear attractive to another person, by constantly calling, texting, and begging for them back.
For this reason, a period of No Contact must be applied before trying to get back with someone. Now, you may already be in this stage, fine. Though, for guys who are still trying to convince their ex to come back, you should take a break. Desperation isn’t attractive.
People don’t like to be told what to do directly. They want to be able to come to a decision on their own, without negative influence.
So, if she’s currently single, trying to convince her to get back together with you is going to be an uphill battle. She needs good reasons, that she arrives at on her own, not a daily sales pitch from you.
Time apart is necessary for healing to begin. If the relationship ended poorly, then, there’s going to need to be some time during which both parties can be on their own and get themselves in a better mental state.
Take the time during No Contact to focus on improving yourself. Focus on your faults that caused relationship friction. Get your life figured out and what you want from it. What are your goals as an individual, independent from her or any other woman you may meet?
This period of time, really does help bring about clarity in your mind. You don’t need to rush and make mistakes, as we’ve discussed. Plus, it gives us more time to assess what type of relationships, she’s in. It could become clearer, that it is a short-term thing.
Guys worry about being forgotten or not taking action, during this time, but this time apart is necessary. There are situations in life, in which, taking some action is the wrong move. Making a move, just to make one, accomplishes nothing. At worst, it can totally screw up your overall aim, that you thought the action would accomplish.
Letting Go of Negative Thoughts if She’s Seeing Someone
Your ex may now be seeing another guy and you want to win her over to you because you have some fear that he may be a better man than you. A lot of this kind of stuff is simply ego. It comes with not being able to accept life and the changes that come along with it, you can’t stand losing because you perceive that your value as a man is lowered.
Basically equating getting your ex-girlfriend back with proving your self worth. This is a very unhealthy way to look at things and can lead you to do things such as meddling in her current relationship or trying to drive a wedge between them. Stop being desperate. Learn to be on your own and be happy on your own before deciding if you should try to spark things anew with her.
One question you definitely need to answer before deciding if you want to get back together with an ex is, what has really changed? If you and her were to get back together today, why would it work out this time? What has been resolved in the underlying issues of the relationship?
If the answer is not much in the way of positive changes, then you’re chasing a false dream. Going back to a girl simply because you now miss her, because she is seeing someone else, or your options are limited; is pretty damn lazy and a waste of time.
The two of you may be on completely divergent paths now and going back simply is not an option for you. Most relationships don’t work out for the rest of your life, but each one is helpful in learning from and applying those lessons to future relationships with women.
If You Really Still Want Her Back…
When the time comes to try and actually make a move to get an ex-girlfriend back, it is important that one has the right strategy.
For most of us today, text messaging, has become an ideal communication strategy. I mean, it’s way less invasive than a phone call, which is good when you are trying to re-establish a good relationship with someone.
It gives them time to consider, whether to reply or not. When a message is received, it could trigger a negative emotional reaction from an ex. But, if she has time to cool off, she might reconsider and be willing to talk.
Secondly, if gives one the ability to craft the correct message. Not have to think on our feet and just blurt out whatever comes to mind. Again, another important aspect of trying to re-establish things.
For our purposes, relationship expert Michael Fiore, has designed a program which specializes in texting: Text Your Ex Back
Text Your Ex Back is a full program, that is set up to walk you through step by step, how to get an ex-back through messaging. Michael has helped thousands of people reconcile, seemingly broken relationships, and this is one of his most popular methods.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
So, a break up happens and you want to get back with an ex-girlfriend, only to be told…she’s not ready for a relationship right now. Not ready? What does that actually mean? Why would a woman say that? Does she actually mean that phrase, word for word? In this post, I want to explore and shed some light on reasons for this.
My Ex GF Isn’t Ready For A Relationship Now
Does She Mean It?
Possibly. The likelier answer is, yes.
She may indeed might not be ready to hop back into a relationship with you or start something serious with another guy.
It might just be a passing phase and she could be ready in a few months, to give things another try.
It can depend on her personality or how bad the break up was.
Conversely, she may have also just said that, because she has no interest in getting back together.
Why?
Well, for one reason, it is an easy excuse in order to get herself some space and time apart. She may not know exactly what she wants right now, but saying this, leaves the door open for lots of potential options.
If she doesn’t want to get back together, saying that serves the same purpose, as if she might actually want to reconcile.
It allows her to not have to commit to any specific path forward and just deal with the inevitable fallout stemming from the break up. The door is obviously still open with you, she can also go out on her own, or see other guys. It covers all bases, really.
It can also serve as an easy way to let you down, while still allowing for a glimmer of hope. If “she’s not ready for a relationship”, the outcome falls entirely on her. That way, it’s not specific to anything about you, it’s her, and her feelings.
Is she trying to break up in a more gentle manner? Maybe. Maybe not. But, it is a very real possibility.
What to Do Next?
I tend to be of the school of thought, that you don’t just rush back into action, as breakups usually play out over the course of weeks or months. So do, any potential reconciliations.
Because of this, I like to try and establish clear thinking about what I want next, after any break up. Why try to get back together, just because it’s familiar? I might want to go in another direction with my own life, but short-term emotions, may have me chasing the ex-girlfriend.
It can be hard to really know what to do, after a break up. I mean, we aren’t at our most rational during this time period. I know, people like to try and press to get back together, but it can often be a bad idea.
For one, it’s a false time constraint. Meaning, there’s usually not a huge rush to save the relationship, in reality. We think we have to get it done in a day or week, but most of the time things aren’t that pressing.
Secondly, many relationships aren’t worth saving. Not to say they’re all bad, but many are just comfortable. We habituate ourselves to thinking that this relationship is great, because it’s what we know, and the unknown that comes after is scary.
I think about relationships that I had when I was younger. At the time, they meant a whole lot, and I wanted to save them. Looking back, with the passage of time, and I’m really glad I didn’t try all that much to save them. It wouldn’t have worked out well, even if I had gotten back together with those women.
Nowadays, I know to take a break from contacting the ex, just so I can figure out my next moves. What do I actually want? Why is she right for me? Is she even the best option? Could I do something else with my life?
The No Contact Rule, allows for me to not have to press for a response, and also gives her time to think. You can get a clearer picture about what she wants or if she’s even serious about not wanting to be in a relationship. People often react out of emotion, without much thought.
What’s the first move towards Getting Back Together?
After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.
Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a woman gets a call out of the blue, she may not be in the mood right then to talk.
With texts, she can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.
This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.
He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
So, you went to or contacted your ex-boyfriend and begged and pleaded for him to come back into a relationship with you. Didn’t go too well, did it? The problem with this strategy of reconciliation, is that, it doesn’t solve any of the underlying issues which led to the break up and it also knocks your perceived value down a few notches…that’s not good.
Nevertheless, is it still possible to get him back after you’ve already gotten down on your knees and begged him to make it so? Yes, it is possible but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is probable. In this post, I want to explore a bit more in depth on begging for your ex-boyfriend back and how to move forward with things after this has already happened.
I Begged Him to Take Me Back: On Perceived Value
Our perceptions define and influence so many decisions in our lives everyday. Literally, every aspect is run through our perceptive instruments (sight, touch, smell, etc) and then interpreted by our brains.
This includes how we value people, places, and things. For instance, a man in a business suit is perceived more favorably in general, than the homeless man sitting on the corner in tattered rags.
The male model with hundreds of friends, fame, financial success is more highly valued (in social terms) than the nerdy guy playing WOW all day in his parent’s basement.
This carries over to relationship dynamics and desire. After the break up, one’s ex-boyfriend may already have a lowered perceived value of you, due to circumstances involved in the causes of the break up (lying, cheating, boredom, staleness, etc).
Now, this power dynamic may shift even further, if he is the one who initiated the end of the relationship. If only one party wanted the break up to happen, then that person holds all of the cards, as they at least on some level feels as if they no longer need the partnership in their lives.
So, post-breakup, our perceptions of our former partners can change drastically. If an ex-boyfriend has a lowered perceived value of his old girlfriend and she comes back begging for him to resume the relationship, is this going to help or hurt her chances?
Obviously, it will further diminish the perceived value of the woman in his eyes. He already is preparing to move forward (how much so depends on the man and situation), and so, he is in a situation where he knows that he can get his ex back at anytime.
Why is this bad? Human beings have a tendency to overlook people/things that are already familiar and easily obtained. It’s not exciting and it’s not a turn on to have someone grovel to make things go back to how they once were.
It makes one appear unattractive and as if they don’t have any other option (whether that is true or not). The perceived value has been greatly diminished. It can be further taken down by displaying these sorts of characteristics:
emotional instability
obsessiveness
being way too available
neediness
showing no signs of being able to move forward
As a man, I can tell you that, most of the fun and desire upon meeting someone new is involved in the whole ‘chase’, so to speak.
Finding a new girl who doesn’t know you at all and then building that attraction is like trying to solve a complex problem to us. This is why if prostitution were legal in most places, a lot of guys would never go see one, as the whole ‘chase’ is gone…it’s too easy and just doesn’t feel natural.
This same type of feeling occurs when a relationship has ended and the perceived value is lowered…there’s nothing new or exciting, she’s begging him, and he has all the power to say yes whenever he so desires.
Desperation is never attractive. It can’t be based on the dynamics of human relationships.
As such, unless an ex-boyfriend has some sort of sick mind, that loves watching a woman beg…it’s going to not work out well. The begging and pleading strategy is probably the most common one out there, and if it worked well, there’d be way more people reconciling than actually are.
Does This Relationship Even Need to Be Re-Started?
The sun will come out…
Now that we have a general overview of what begging does to one’s perceived value following a break up with an ex-boyfriend, we must consider whether or not a reconciliation is even worth pursuing.
This is the ‘move on’ question posited by this website. I do not believe that most relationships should even be attempted to be salvaged. Many are too damaged, not good enough fits, and the desire for reconciliation is just based on loneliness and fear of being alone.
This is why I always like to grieve the end of a relationship, regroup, reassess whether or not I want to get back together, and then no matter what the decision…prepare myself mentally/emotionally that the relationship is probably done for good.
Understand that: even if you want an ex back, it isn’t always a reality and one should always prep for the most likely scenario, especially when that’s something you might not want to come to pass.
This is the part where one must dig in, and try to strip away all emotional baggage to the best of one’s ability, in order to determine whether or not it is even worth getting back together.
We have a tendency to idealize a relationship once its over and that empty feeling we get inside, impels us to try to reconcile in hopes that it makes us feel better. It’s often not even the person or the relationship that we miss, just the positive emotional boost we got from it.
The main flaw with chasing a broken relationship, is that, even if it succeeds the fundamental issues which led to the break up are still lurking around.
Just because reconciliation happens doesn’t mean that everything is all good now. In fact, things generally tend to get worse after a brief ‘honeymoon’ period.
Ask yourself, what are the underlying problems with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Are they on him? Are some on you? What is the likelihood that either of you will change? Can you honestly say that getting back together is actually what you want? What will things look like a year from now, if you succeed? Better? The same? Worse?
If there are consistent doubts to the likelihood of success either getting back together or keeping it that way once you have or if it is truly what you want to happen…it is a very good idea to consider moving on from the relationship.
Yes, it hurts a lot and it’s naturally going to be tough. However, that’s a part of life and the lows we endure are what makes the highs we experience when we are with the right person worth it. Just because someone is a good fit for you doesn’t make them the right fit for you.
Can You Get Them Back After Begging?
The answer is a yes, but. Yes, it is possible to get him back BUT whether or not it is probable depends on a number of variables that are specific to your own situation.
I can’t answer the likelihood of reconciliation exactly but I can try to point in the right direction as to what must occur for things to get better.
First of all, it could be a long and arduous process, which is why moving on is probably the best option for most folks.
You may find that after a period of time apart from one another, you don’t even want him back.
I mean, if this isn’t your first relationship ever, can you think back to how you used to feel about another ex-boyfriend and compare that to how you feel now?
There have been several girls that I was absolutely wild about once upon a time who never even cross my mind at this point.
Time healed my emotional attachment, I grew as a person, and my needs and desires in a partner changed drastically. 22 year old me, has no bearing on how I feel in my current life, nor does any girl I dated back then.
We’ve already discussed perceived value and starting from a lowered perceived value is a tough climb to make. You’ve become more akin to the undesirable nerd in his eyes than the insanely attractive seductress…sorry, it’s not to be mean, this happens to all of us from time to time.
How much damage has been done depends on your own individual circumstances.
For some reading this, things might not be that bad and could feasibly be patched up. For others, it’s almost certainly the end of the relationship…again, this is something we all have to experience and learn to move through in our lives.
Also, it depends on factors such as whether or not you cheated or betrayed his trust. Factors like this are a huge drop in one’s value and reputation for a guy. For me, it’s an automatic deal breaker.
The guy’s life and circumstances also play into the possibility of getting back together. If he is the type to have no problem getting other women, then moving on from this relationship will be much easier.
A guy without options, might have a tendency to want to get back with a girl he’s already had a relationship with…which actually can lower his perceived value.
Raise Your Value and Change Your Behavior
Obviously, if damage has been done to how attractive one is in another’s eyes, then to have a shot of getting back with them, that trend must be reversed.
In order to do that, you must consider the factors of what makes a woman attractive to a man, and enhance them on all fronts. Again, this is something that can take a great deal of time and STILL FAIL when improved upon.
Now, we should consider:
behavior
physical
social
Dealing with a guy who already knows you, he already knows the good and bad, and expects certain patterns from you based on experience. This makes it even harder to change the perception of value.
The behavior patterns that must change are the one’s I listed before…the begging, obsessiveness, neediness, jealousy, etc. All of these behaviors make people look really bad and aren’t seductive or attractive in the least.
This is yet another reason I suggest preparing to move on because when you emotionally move forward all these behaviors tend to fall away by themselves which naturally makes you more attractive.
Besides the desperate and irritating variety of behavior there are also the better types of behaviors like trying to genuinely be happy and supportive of an ex-boyfriend, even if there is no shot of getting together again. This isn’t sour grapes. This is actually loving someone and not merely being possessive of them and then calling it ‘love’.
Behavior also includes making changes in your life for the better such as: going back to school, new job, traveling, breaking out of a stale routine, etc.
Don’t do it just to do it but it can be a great idea after a relationship to begin to explore new things and take on new challenges.
It can also be very attractive, as there is no desperation present. The focus is on you and creating a wonderful life and not on him and trying to hold on to the past.
Physically, alterations can take place like getting yourself into fantastic shape or switching up to a better personal style. Physical changes are most noticeable at first and can be quite a shock…if they’re for the better! Not just some weird look the reeks of being desperate for attention.
Finally, there is the social aspect. Being desired by others will get people’s attention who otherwise might no longer have any interest.
Think about it, if your ex was surrounded by a bunch of other women, wouldn’t that make you want him more on some level?
Of course. It’s natural supply and demand. The same reason you can slap a designer logo on a plain t-shirt and charge $50+, the perception of value is much higher, even if there is nothing inherently different about it.
I tend to try to date other women after a break up because it naturally reminds me that their are other options out there for me and it helps me move forward. That’s what I suggest doing it for.
It can also, however, make you seem more attractive to an ex because if other people want to date you or even just be your friends, it can make someone second guess and think that they might have missed something special about you.
Remember that men like to chase, if he has no reason to pursue you, he isn’t going to. Ultimately, the dynamic must be flipped so that you are the one who is desired and not the one who is begging and pleading. This is why it’s such a tough nut to crack.
No Contact After Begging to Get Him Back?
Obviously, the one aspect that definitely needs to be changed in this scenario, is the begging.
The best way to accomplish this, is by going no contact for a period of time, usually a month or two will suffice.
If you’re not talking to him, you’re no longer pushing him away or turning him off, with the pleading to reconcile. Instead, you are taking the time to work on yourself, and get better as a person regardless of whether the relationship is saved or not.
The No Contact Rule is used to calm the emotional turmoil, give one another space, and clarity about what the future should be like. Not desperately trying to rekindle the past, but to create something that will be better in the future.
Also, time can help to erase some of the desperation that lingers over you, in his mind. I remember a long time ago, begging one of my ex-girlfriends, and her having no interest. Then, I went hard no contact (I actually decided to move on with my life), and a few months later she reached out to me.
It was as if she had no memory, of my former desperation to get her back. Time had robbed it of all importance. The images that people have in their minds about you, aren’t always fixed, and the negative can be forgotten when compared to the good.
Remember that, the no contact period is as much about you, as it is about not bothering him. In conjunction with not texting or calling or trying to see him, you are, improving yourself and attempting to make things good enough for him to want to come back.
Once this time period is over with and you feel as though, you have made progress on your goals, then contact can be re-established. From there, it might be a slower build to feel out, whether or not he’d be open to seeing you. If so, then perhaps a date can occur, or at least some sort of meeting to clear the air.
What’s the first move?
After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.
Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a man gets a call out of the blue, he may not be in the mood right then to talk.
With texts, he can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.
This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.
He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
There are times when you have broken up with a girl, felt fine about it for months, and may have even moved on to some extent with your life. Then, there is the pang of loneliness or even nostalgia about the past. Did I make a mistake? Even after feeling like you have moved on from things and pushing an ex-girlfriend away, there is something inside you that implores you to get her back. Is this a good idea? Can it be done? Let’s take a closer look at things, once one starts to regret letting an ex-girl go.
I Pushed Her Away and She Moved On
Why and What Changed?
So, you pushed her away and now want your ex-girlfriend to come back? The first question that you need to honestly answer is why you did so?
Secondly, what has changed so much that you now need to do a reversal?
A complete 180 in the course of what you wanted after a break up does require some serious inquiry. Ask yourself, what were the fundamental reasons you no longer wanted her around and what were the major flaws in the relationship?
A change of heart can be a good thing, but not if it’s based solely on feelings, and nothing that’s concrete.
Meaning, if the relationship wasn’t workable before, why is it going to succeed now? If you didn’t want her two months ago, why would you want her to come back?
Feeling lonely, while a powerful driver, is not a good enough basis for a relationship.
As once you satisfy those lonely feelings you must contend with the reality that this person, may not be the best fit for your life moving forward.
Yes, she may have been a great fit at one point in time… but, the two of you might have changed enough to no longer make that true.
Be honest about what you truly want with your life and with a relationship moving forward. What are her flaws that drove you away in the first place? What are the negatives about the relationship? Realistically, can they be resolved or are the beyond repair?
You had your reasons for no longer wanting to be together with your ex-girlfriend, get back to those reasons. Figure out how legitimate they are. Try to approach things with as little emotion and as objectively as you possibly can.
This will help you find out if you truly do want to get back together or if you’re just dealing with the emotional aftermath of no longer being together.
Relationships can be like addictions and that withdrawal period will almost always stir up a lot of emotional confusion. Don’t make a long-term commitment based on this emotions alone.
What Are Some Common Reasons Why We Push Women Away?
We really were sick of them…now we kind of miss her (confusing emotions)
It’s a legitimate feeling to have. As I’ve mentioned, sometimes its just loneliness or some feeling of lack in our lives.
However, it might have nothing to do with her or her absence. It is about us and either feeling lost, being depressed, or any other myriad of issues that don’t stem from not having a girlfriend.
Again, we need to take the time to figure out if it’s really her that we miss or if breaking up was the best course of action. The break up might still be the best thing for your life, but you just need to figure out all of the non-relationship aspects of it.
2. Got Scared of Commitment in General or For this Girl in Particular
A lot of guys, might push a woman away, simply because they are terrified of what comes with commitment. I get it, it can be a big step to take.
Let’s be honest, nowadays, not many of us have examples of solid relationships to imitate. We’ve seen divorced parents or no parents. We’ve seen rampant cheating or the hook up culture.
In such conditions, it’s easy to not want to get too attached to anybody. So, we cut people out of our lives, before they can hurt us even deeper.
If this is your case, ask yourself, what are the main fears? What is it that is pushing you away from something positive, because you don’t want to feel confined?
Another thing that a lot of guys have, is not knowing how to handle success. They get the girlfriend they want and have no idea how to handle it. Then, they reject her rather than feeling discomfort.
They may do this in other areas of life, also. Self-sabotaging anything good, that comes there way.
All of this is assuming, that this was a worthwhile relationship. If it was, ask yourself, what these fears stem from?
3. You Wanted to Test the Dating Market
Some guys, dump their girlfriend’s so that they can go out and get with more women. Either for sex or to ‘upgrade’ to a ‘better’ girlfriend.
Fair enough. It’s just that many guys don’t have the skill set to pull it off or they realize that the girls that they are meeting… don’t bring the same thing to the table as the ex.
If this is you, what is going to change moving forward? Will you just get bored with her, later on? What is the need you have to be with other women? At a certain point, it’s not even about getting sex, and more just trying to satisfy the ego.
Is this feeling out of your system for good? Or will it creep back in the future. If it does, you might end up in the same spot as you are now, either with the ex or some other woman you date.
How Did You Push Her Away?
Once one has determined whether or not a true reconciliation is what is wanted and decides against moving on, it is important to consider in what manner she was pushed away.
Was she simply ignored? Let down gently? Was the breakup messy? Was cheating involved? Have you already been dating other girls?
All of these questions and more can play into the odds of whether or not she will actually come back. Even then and even if she forgives, she still may not want to come back any longer. Some people will put up with almost any level of rejection, while others are ready to let go of the relationship, almost immediately.
If it was a clean break and she still seems to be sniffing around or is in contact with you, then, it is usually a much better scenario to start from. It becomes a whole hell of a lot easier to convince someone who wants to come back into the fold to do so, versus someone who holds a high level of bitterness about how things ended.
Once one gets to the point where he knows he wants to get back together and knows how much of a challenge (or a fair estimate) it is going to be to start things back up again, there needs to be a strategy as to how to go about things.
Following the No Contact Rule is a good start. However, it also depends on the circumstances. If the break up was really recent, then following a period of a 4-6 weeks of No Contact can be a really good idea, as it lets the raw feelings settle down.
If it’s been a while and there hasn’t really any been any communication between the two parties, then tacking on a period of No Contact really doesn’t have much effect, and one can move forward with trying to get back together.
One of the main mistakes that guys tend to make, is doing the whole pouring your heart out and begging for forgiveness thing. It’s a highly popular trope on TV and in movies. Much like most dating advice seen in cinema, it doesn’t really work, and can actually backfire.
If you pushed her away by dumping her, you’re coming from a position of strength. Why grovel and beg, it only makes one appear less attractive.
If you pushed her away by being needy, acting even needier isn’t going to help matters.
Avoid going that route, you can admit to mistakes, if they are brought up by her once contact is established but don’t go out of your way to beg for clemency.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
As a straight male, I’ve never actually had to get my ex-boyfriend back from another girl (full disclosure :p). However, as a man I feel that I can offer a different perspective on the end of your relationship and whether or not you can start anew with him, even if he has a new girlfriend.
Now, just to be upfront about things, for many women reading this: your relationship is most likely over for good and you should move on with your life. I know that sucks to hear in the middle of emotional turmoil but it’s not the end of the world, it’s simply a change that needs to be dealt with.
Anyhow, let us get started and delve a little bit further into this topic.
My Ex has a New Girlfriend and I Want Him Back
The First Thing I Ask You to Consider
The first and most paramount step that I recommend that anyone take before pursuing getting back together with their ex is to truly analyze things and figure out if that is truly what you want. You might be thinking, Of course that’s what I want, that’s how I ended up on this website!
Believe me, I completely understand the raw emotion and hurt that comes along with a breakup or seeing your significant other with someone else. It feels terrible and it isn’t a very pleasant experience, however, it is one which we almost all will have to face in life.
Emotion obviously clouds good judgment. Most people won’t react to everyday problems with nearly the same intensity as that of a break up and this is entirely based on the amount of emotions and attachment that is involved.
This is why a long period of no contact is so important after a relationship ends because it allows both parties to have space apart and avoid the strong emotional triggers. Plus, with time emotional attachments tend to weaken.
With that being said, while you’re in an emotional state of mind, you will of course feel like you want your ex-boyfriend back even if a rational assessment of the situation would reveal that it is best just to forget about him.
After all, the relationship ended for a reason (probably multiple reasons), which means that it fundamentally had some problems.
What were those problems? Would getting back together solve them? Can they be solved? The relationship would be different than it had been before, will there be lingering resentments, is the spark gone, would this even work long-term?
See…these are the types of things that need to be thought through before even considering getting back into a relationship with that person.
Take off the rose colored glasses and look at the relationship as it was and not as an idealized version of itself. Look at your flaws as well as his flaws and take your time, with as few emotions interfering as possible…take your time, as this step is very important.
This is an assessment into your life and what you want going forward. Not just about who you date, but what you want to do in your career, or even how you want to spend the next immediate few months.
Is he actually worth it? Does he fit actually fit into your vision for the future or is it habit and loneliness, that has you chasing him? People often figure out after some time apart from their exes, that they’ve grown as a person, and no longer need that same relationship.
It’s happened to me, multiple times. For months, I’d feel like I wanted to get one of my ex-girlfriends back. Then, with time, I would realize that they weren’t a good fit for me and my future. Maybe they were great for the old version of me, but with where I wanted to go and who I was becoming, they no longer meshed.
A Quick Insight into the Mindset of Men (In general, specific circumstances may vary)
Despite some insinuations to the contrary, men and women are different. That is, our thoughts and natural desires in terms of the male and female interaction (mating, dating, whatever you want to call it), are not the same nor is our approach. I
t’s sometimes said that men are not capable of love…this is not true at all, in fact, we can fall ‘in love’ very quickly with a woman who piques our interest. This is often a detriment for many guys who:
Fall in love with a girl first and then she loses interest
Guys who are inexperienced or don’t have options, in terms of women to choose from
This becomes a problem in our dating life, because we meet women who are only a pretty good fit for us. Then, we don’t have any other girls around to offset those emotions, that this ‘pretty good match’ stirs up in us.
We can end up ‘catching feelings’ and find ourselves in a bad relationship. All of this, stems from our lack of experience with relationship dynamics, and our abilities to handle complex emotions….it’s not our skill set.
A man’s attraction skill set (the one he’s supposed to develop) is all based on the short-term. We, for the most part, don’t go out looking for relationships but end up finding ourselves in one later and wondering what happened?
This skill set we’ve had to develop in our life, consists of how we walk, talk, act, dress, look, speak to you, what we do for a living, our values, social standing, etc. All of these are variables which go into attracting women to us and getting them to want to have sex with us. I can hear the accusatory voices rising:
See, all men want is sex?
Well, to paraphrase the great comedian Patrice O’Neal…sex is all I want, if that’s all you’ve got!
Our skill set, is how we build our lives in totality. Everything that we are and can demonstrate, are short-term tools to attract many women to us. It’s completely short-term and gets us lots of options to choose from when done well.
Women, in the short-term, don’t need to have this skill set in order to attract guys. The fact that you look attractive, attracts us…we don’t particularly care too much about all the other qualities about you at first. It’s just that one superficial aspect (again this is a generalization, obviously specific circumstances may vary).
What this means though, is that women’s true attractive skill set, becomes a factor later in the relationship. For a woman to keep us in a long-term relationship, she has to be better than our other options.
A man usually wants to get with (at least on biological/sexual level), pretty much any attractive girl that crosses his path….it really is like that for us and has been for most of our lives. Our inclination is to have multiple women around.
However, the right woman with that long-term attractive skill set can make us stay around and stay faithful, if she’s that good. Note: some guys, again, simply have no options…it takes nothing for a girl to keep them around because they’re desperate, which only serves to make them even more unattractive to women. So a girl being better than his options, means nothing if he has no options.
Yes, but what does this all mean?
I wanted to bring all of this up because I need to explain a bit of what our mindset is after we are broken up from our girlfriends. Again, this is dependent on the man’s skill set (his ability to attract women).
Guys who can attract women easily, will go out and do so post-breakup, while guys who cannot are usually the one’s who sit around and pine over their ex for many months or years. Let us focus on the guys who can attract women and what happens post-breakup.
After guys get out of a relationship, it is just as bad as it is for women. In fact, I think that it can be worse for us initially because it usually catches us unprepared.
For some period of time after that, we are sad about things and tend to miss our ex a lot, as the post-breakup period can be like coming off of an addiction. We get so used to having someone around, who is so very close to us. Someone who we’ve spent a lot of time with, that a void develops in our existence after a relationship ends.
How long that period goes on depends on the guy, the length of the relationship, the intensity, etc. However, when that time period of feeling bad has passed, we begin the process of moving on.
For us, a part of moving on generally means getting more girls in our lives. Sometimes, we go on a spree, and have 5+ girls on call whenever we want to see them to ‘help’ to forget about our ex.
After months, this circle of girls can be reduced down to one girl. This one girl is most likely the ‘new girlfriend’ that your ex is currently seeing.
Now, the key thing to recognize is that, this relationship may or may not mean anything. Sometimes, it just helps to have some kind of relationship to help you get through the loneliness, even if it doesn’t end up being serious.
In other cases, he might end up with a woman, that he already knew prior to the breakup. In this case, she was his best option available, and he went with it.
This can often be a rebound relationship, as if we can get a woman easily to help distract from the post-breakup emotions, we will. It may be serious, but I’d say, it is more unlikely to be all that serious.
How Can You Tell if It’s Serious?
The main indicators of a serious relationship for a guy are the length of time involved and whether or not he is showing interest in other girls (including you).
If it has also been several months that he and his new girlfriend have been together, then, odds are it is probably pretty serious. Which means for you, that reconciliation most likely isn’t going to happen (in the immediate term), and you need to begin the process of letting them go (even if there’s still a chance, prepare for the most likely outcome).
Another sign to look for is, how long after the break up, did he get involved with this new woman? There are other variables to consider, but generally, if he gets into another relationship within a month or so…it’s probably not that serious. It can be, but it is most likely just a rebound relationship.
A guy being in a rebound relationship, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Once the immediate excitement of being with someone new wears off, comparisons set in, and we see how she stacks up versus other women we dated. If she is a step back in his mind from what you provided, that rebound relationship, will in all likelihood be on the way out.
make dem changes
How Can I Make Him Miss Me, if He Has a New Girlfriend?
A lot of times, it will boil down to simply being the better option. This of course assumes, that there is still a part of him, who would be open to reconciliation.
For some, that won’t be the case, as some guys do simply decide to move on for good. They’ve decided and won’t change their minds.
However, for most folks, they don’t treat things as being 100% over. After all, think of how many people, get together and then break up with their exes…time and time again.
If it still is a possibility, you have to ask yourself, what he is coming back for? If the relationship broke, as it was constructed, why would the same thing interest him?
What are the improvements which can be made? How would you make yourself the best option for him to date? Is that work even worth it to you, to attempt to get him back?
What To Do Post-Breakup
No Contact and Self-Improvement
I would follow the same steps post-breakup whether I wanted to pursue my ex or not. Regardless, of outcome I would go no contact with them for at least a month before even attempting to do anything.
In the rest of my life, I would work on improving myself in a multitude of ways: appearance, health, get new hobbies, financially, meet new people, learn new things, work on my emotional health, fix my flaws that contributed to the end of the relationship, and whatever else I needed to work on.
Remember, he has to see you as better than his options, in order to want to be with you. Unless you had a complete falling out with one another, you probably still have a ton of currency with him and a place in his heart…working on improving you, increases your odds (but still guarantees nothing).
The reason for this is to fall back and regroup emotionally. It is also to give your ex-boyfriend space with his new girlfriend and not see you as being desperate by constantly calling him or texting him.
Things Tend to Fall Apart
If the relationship he is in, with the new woman, isn’t serious, it’ll fall apart eventually.
There’s nothing you need to do, as nature will simply take its course. Meeting someone new, can be very exciting at first. Then, reality sets in, and that person you thought was great…reveals themselves to be a total dud.
This can happen from either side. He might get bored with the new girl and/or she might get bored of him. The ‘newness’ of the relationship, wears off, and suddenly there are arguments or just a general lack of enthusiasm towards things.
Again, this happens on its own, without you trying to make it so. It may take some time to work itself out this way, but when someone has moved on to another person, you cannot expect a quick fix. It may turn out that way, but don’t count on it.
Don’t Interject Yourself in His New Relationship
Don’t ever take shots or be jealous towards his new girlfriend, as that is a huge turnoff for guys and will make him resent you and will NOT make him want to take you back.
I know it can be difficult to control the urge to speak to him or to compare yourself to the new girl, but you have to keep things calm and those wild emotions in check. These sorts of outbursts and attacks DO NOT HELP AT ALL.
They harm your odds by making you appear petty, desperate, and unattractive. All bad things, when you want to catch a man’s attention, in a positive way.
Yes, the first step to take is to ‘forget’ about him and his new chick for the time being and focus completely on yourself and your well-being.
You don’t have to forget about him in actuality just don’t contact him, don’t accept his calls or respond to his texts, if you see him in person be brief and cordial and don’t beg for him to come back.
This period of time needs to be about you and healing yourself so that you can decide rationally what you want for your future. At the end of it, you might very well realize that he isn’t in your future plans and you can feel good about your decision to move on from that relationship.
Once that period of no contact is over you can make the decision to want to try and get him back….
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
After getting dumped it is a common thing for guys to want to get back together with their now, ex-girlfriend. It is a very confusing and emotional time after a break up, because one has to deal with such a major change in their lives, and must find a way forward with or without the girl.
Whatever happened in the situation, these kinds of severe emotions can take their toll on a person and make people want to repair a relationship to what it was before.
The first thing that needs to be clear about getting an ex back quickly is that the underlying relationship will never be the ‘same’.
It can be rekindled and fixed but it will always have to become a newer and better functioning relationship in order to move forward.
The ending of relationships are more often than not caused by more than just one problem. So, thoughts of wishing you could go back and change one thing are ultimately pointless, and counterproductive to getting things back on track.
The first major choice one has to make before trying to win back an ex-girlfriend is if that is truly what you want or are you just chasing something you lost because you are currently in an emotional state.
Before getting into steps to take to try to re-kindle a relationship, I am going to go over the reasons why it might not be such a hot idea right now. Getting a clear view of what you really want will help to decide what the next course of action should be.
Can You Even Re-Attract an Ex-Girlfriend Back Quickly?
Before we jump into the process itself, I want to make sure we are clear about ‘getting someone back fast’.
Is it possible to have an ex-girlfriend back in your arms, within a short time frame? Yes, I’ve done it before.
However, using the same exact tactics and overall strategy, I’ve also not gotten a different girl back. There’s no guarantees in life, that things will work out exactly, how you want them to. That’s not a negative, either.
We cannot control everything, especially other people, and their personal desires.
But understand, the best path that is available to take, will not always lead to the desired outcome. As such, an ex-girlfriend may want to get back together in a short amount of time. She might take a little longer, than expected. She might be done with the relationship for good.
The best that we can do, is to try to re-kindle the relationship, using the most effective methods that we have at our disposal. It’s usually at least effective enough, to get the lines of communication back open, but doesn’t always yield complete reconciliation.
Though, I always try to approach the breakup period in such a way, that I will be in a great position no matter the outcome. Time is nonetheless, another variable, that we cannot control. Fixing a broken relationship, can take longer, than you may want it to.
Part I: Dealing with Emotions and Do You Actually Want Her Back?
Getting Past the Haze
Viewing a relationship through rose tinted glasses and idealizing your ex-girlfriend can be a really bad road to travel down.
It is a good idea, however, to take a look at a relationship in as harsh and brutal light as possible. Really get down to brass tacks and examine what the relationship was truly like.
It couldn’t have been all sunshine and rainbows, right? This means make an honest assessment of what the problems were between the two of you. Question the whole thing.
Was there too much fighting? Did someone cheat? What were the things you could’ve done better? What were the issues that she had, which you felt were bothersome? Seriously, what were the issues that led to the end?
Even if you do end up getting her back fast, how long would it be before these problems rear their ugly head again?
If the woman broke up with you, things couldn’t have been going quite as well as you perhaps thought they were. She had her reasons for dumping you. and even if you don’t know what those reasons are, that is no reason to deny their existence.
I know that there is a lot of comfort, in not being too critical of our own faults. However, an honest assessment doesn’t have to be a tearing down of one’s self-worth. It is constructive criticism in order to attempt for us to solve a problem.
Things may have been good between the two of you for a long time but broke down enough to where it was time for the relationship to end, at least on her part.
It isn’t always a good idea to get back together for this very reason, things have changed to the point where the old feelings or ideals of being together are no longer valid.
In this situation, trying to make the relationship work is like chasing a past point in time, which can no longer be reality. This is the reason the site also includes the words, ‘or move on’, as not all relationships are worth saving.
Meaning, both parties would be better served in their lives, by being apart. Yes, it doesn’t always feel that way in the moment, but time can definitely make things quite apparent to us.
Dependency Can Be the Problem
Love is an addiction in very simple terms. Emotionally and physically the feelings can be so intense, that when a break up occurs it can feel like a withdrawal of some kind of drug.
Conditioning of your behavior and expectations; occurs during a relationship. You expect her to be there and it is reinforced day after day. Once she is gone though, that pattern is broken, and that stimulus is no longer being fulfilled.
When those things are gone and nothing replaces that stimulus, it is easy to feel down. Staying away from drugs and alcohol is always a good idea, but especially after a loss, because it becomes an endless search to fill the gap of positive feelings.
True happiness is something which can only come from within one’s self. If happiness is ever dependent on another person, drug, food, experience or whatever, that happiness will disappear the moment that external force is taken away.
Relationships should come about to enhance one’s life, not to fill the internal emptiness, that one can feel when not in love.
Since a dependency on another person has occurred, it is a good idea to let the fresh wounds of their absence heal. This is why the no contact rule, can be a fantastic tool to use after a break up, as it allows a person to re-acclimate themselves to a life without that other person.
From there, that person can see what the next step to take is, with a clear mind.
This dependency on another person can be so strong, as to make someone feel like they want to fix the broken relationship, even when that’s not actually the case.
There are plenty of guys who rationally know that their ex-girlfriends aren’t the right person for them, yet will still chase after her, just to help soothe that emptiness.
It gets lonely sometimes
Time Heals Wounds
The mind can play tricks on you immediately following a break up. That addictive quality of love makes one feel as if there is no life without that person being around and we tend to idealize them as something greater than they actually were.
Idealization happens quite frequently and can trick you into thinking that your ex-girlfriend was the “One” for you and there are no other girls out there that can compare.
Trust me, I’ve had the same feelings myself in the past. At the time, it felt like a tremendous loss and as if I was a broken man.
However, time passed and now those same girls really never cross my mind and if they do it is certainly not because I want to start a new version of our old relationship.
The pull towards the familiar and comfortable is strong, while the fear of the unknown is repellent. Think about other women you’ve dated in the past, do those old break ups bother you still?
I hope not. Most likely you’re like me, and don’t think about those chicks any more, even if the relationship felt ‘really serious’ at the time.
Time is important for this very reason, it can be damn near impossible to figure things out after a break up because the emotional turmoil is so high.
Making bad decisions when you’re emotional, can cost you big time, in the end. It can cost way more, than had you simply waited for the storm to pass, and allowing yourself to become rational again.
You can’t become one of those guys who becomes obsessive about the past and who’s life stagnates simply because he won’t let go of some idealized version of his previous life.
Winning a woman back, goes way beyond just figuring out what to say to her, to mend the broken relationship. It’s also about you, as a man, being in a healthy mental state and comfortable with the outcome…even when she chooses not to get back together.
I’ve seen too many guys chasing after women and broken relationships, based solely on their inability to deal with loneliness, neediness, and just overall low self-esteem.
It’s a very common. It’s an easy way to get stuck, in bad relationships or never get over the one’s, that didn’t work out. This is not something to be overlooked.
Has the Situation Really Improved Enough?
There were definite reasons for a relationship to end. There was a betrayal of trust or maybe you two just simply drifted apart. Let’s say for the sake of argument, that, you and your ex were back together today. What has changed to make things work this time?
Have you two agreed as to what the legitimate issues were with the relationship? Things aren’t going to work if she thinks that you’re a liar and you think that you’re the paragon of truth and virtue.
Was the time apart a relationship repair? Probably not.
Accept the truth. If you two have simply moved down different paths in life, accept that the relationship is over, and get started on where you want to end up in the future.
Don’t go back just to feel safe or because suddenly you’re dating options seem really limited, things aren’t going to go back to how they were.
Many times, getting back together is just a bad idea, and is a result of both people clamoring for something which feels certain when they don’t know what to do next.
Sometimes it’s best to just accept things as they now are and learn from what has been, so that your future relationships can go a bit smoother.
Then, there are the specific challenges to a broken relationship. Sometimes, one of the two persons, has already moved on to someone else.
Not only would one have to contend with fixing any relationship issues, but also potentially try to win back the girlfriend from someone else or determine if it’s just a rebound relationship or even just mentally cope with her sleeping with someone else.
All of these outstanding factors contribute to the likelihood of getting an ex to return to a relationship. There’s no guarantee of reconciliation, but there does need to be an acceptance of this fact, and a plan to move forward if the desired outcome isn’t achieved.
Part II: What’s Next? No Contact Rule
Ok, so, the first aspect of this whole getting you ex back process, is to do an honest assessment of the relationship.
Then comes, the second part, which can run in sync with the assessment aspect. This is the period of No Contact.
This is to identify the problems, make sure that trying to fix things is actually what you want, or if you should just move on with your life.
Remember when I wrote about the importance of letting time pass? Here is where that takes on another layer of importance. With time, the bad things about your relationship tend to fade in your former partner’s memory.
This doesn’t mean that time has solved all of the problems but what it does mean is that if they truly do miss you on some level, they can start thinking about the positive aspects of what once was.
This time period allows you to get yourself together emotionally, let’s any anger or resentment cool off a bit, and prevents you from chasing her and coming off as needy and desperate.
Why No Contact? It acts as a reset period, where both people, can experience things apart without interference. This really helps with the clarity about what to do next.
It also allows for a bit of mystery. She is much more apt, to regain some interest, if she doesn’t have a constant reminder of what you’re up to.
Too many guys go into complete chase mode, which pretty much serves to push the girl away, even further. If begging and pleading was so successful, there’d be a whole lot more reconciled relationships.
Part III: What to do During No Contact and Beyond?
The period of No Contact is all about you and getting yourself right. Not just to get you back up to a normal emotional baseline, but also to improve yourself as a man, to face any future outcome from a position of strength.
I’ve always liked to utilize self-improvement right after a break up because:
It benefits my mental and physical health
A better version of me, is the more attractive version
It can help bring clarity about what I want for my life
I usually break things down to the physical, mental/emotional, and life goals. So, during this period of trying to heal emotionally, and deal with the ex-girlfriend not being around; I use exercise, reading, meditation, and motivational speeches to keep the emotions in check and gain perspective.
I also take stock of my life and think of what goals I can set, achieve, or simply set a plan of where I want things to go…whether she comes back or not.
I’ve written more in depth on this period of being alone and how to get through it:
If you have played things correctly up until this point, the two of you have spent significant time apart from one another, and you have both grown up and improved yourself as a person. You have had time to reflect on whether or not getting back together is a good choice to make or not. While they, have also had time to consider what their life is like without you.
From experience, the girls who for sure wanted to come back, usually made the first move in contacting me. I would always get a text or online message saying something like, “Hey, I was just thinking about you and wanted to see how you are doing.” Or something like, “I was driving over by (insert place) and it reminded me of (some time spent together).”
Don’t worry, if they don’t contact you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t want to get back together. Just them reaching out first, can be a really good sign.
If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them.
When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.
You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work? There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.
What’s the first move? Texting
After going through No Contact for 30-45 days, gaining mental clarity, and deciding that we do indeed want to attempt to reconcile with our ex-girlfriend…it is time to reach out and send the first message. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
It only makes sense, as:
There is no pressure to get them into a face to face meeting right away.
The response time is unlimited. Maybe the text doesn’t get answered immediately, but it’s going be on their phone until they decide to engage with it.
You can craft the right message to them and pique their interest after not communicating with them for a while.
It’s a direct line of contact and one that has a higher response rate than random phone calls or trying to get them to talk to you while out and about.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a methodology for getting an ex’s attention:
Hopefully, you downloaded the two free reports that were mentioned near the top of the page, which lay out what not to do and say when texting an ex-girlfriend. Both of these reports were written by Michael Fiore as a part of his “Text Your Ex Back” program.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Mr. Fiore’s relationship advice.
He has been on a number of television shows, as seen above, to discuss his methods for fixing broken relationships, by starting with some simple texting strategies.
If you are sure about wanting to get back with your ex-girlfriend, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
The post-breakup period can already be a really confusing time. This becomes especially true, when you’re dealing with an ex-girlfriend who is seemingly ready to get back with you one minute, and then acting as cold as ice the next.
After a few times of experiencing this, we being to notice the behavioral pattern, and ask ourselves…am I being strung along here? What the hell does she actually want? Why would she be doing this to me?This hot and cold behavior has got to stop! As aggravating as this experience can be, it can be dealt with, let’s explore what’s going on.
Why String Someone Along?
Women are always going to have their own individual reasons for doing this, but there are some old reliable reasons in this scenario.
First, she might be doing this because she really doesn’t know what she wants. If you know your ex-girlfriend is emotionally immature or indecisive, would this really be such a shocker?
Of course not. Her lack of clarity doesn’t have to mean that you have to buy into it as well.
If you can step back and detach yourself from her behavioral patterns, it kind of just looks silly. Heck, one can enjoy the times where she’s ‘hot’ towards you, and just anticipate the cold front that follows. Just sort of laugh at the whole game.
She might be trying to feel things out with you and doesn’t want to fully invest in pursuing a reconciliation, just yet. Sometimes, she’s wanting to go that route, and other times not.
Another reason could be that she’s trying to keep her options open for as long as possible.
She could very well have other men that she’s seeing or collecting dates like trading cards. In this case, she wants to wait for her best option, which may or may not be you.
Third, she’s being really spiteful. She wants to do the hot and cold routine in order to get hopes up of getting back together, only to pull the rug from underneath you, once you’ve invested.
If this last one is suspected, that’s when it’s really handy not to react or get attached to these hot/cold swings. Her acting this way out of spite, really only works if you follow along emotionally.
If one stays detached, the woman can’t derive any pleasure from trying to emotionally manipulate you. It completely ruins their twisted sense of fun.
As you can see, there are some legitimate reasons that bode well for a future together. But there are also reasons to be cautious, as there is a possibility that a woman can be using her ex for her own benefit.
How to Stop an Ex-Girlfriend from Stringing You Along?
My approach has always been that of not playing the game. Meaning, that if I’m being strung along, I cut the damn string.
The hot and cold game or stringing someone along, takes two people. You have to participate in order for her to continue this behavioral pattern.
If you just stop seeing her until she gives you clarity, or if you just detach yourself from caring, she is going to have to figure out a way forward. In the case, where she doesn’t really want you, she’ll get bored and leave you in peace.
My baseline approach: I’m not going to be playing her game, whether it be out of her own confusion, or genuine manipulation.
I don’t particularly care about the reasoning, only the end result. The end result, is me having to put up with someone stringing me along, and generating confusion in my life.
I do this by making myself scarcely available. Since she is no longer my girlfriend, she has no reasonable expectation of my time and energy.
If she wants my time and energy, then, we should have never broken up and she should attempt to reconcile without all of the confusion.
If I decide to give it to her once, there’s no guarantee, she’ll see me the next time. She’s lost her ‘preferred status’ with me, that she once had, as my girlfriend.
If she is just trying to manipulate me, it becomes extremely difficult for her to do so, without my constant need to give in to seeing and spending time with her.
It’s basically an attitude of: ‘shit or get off of the pot’. Stop playing games with me and give me clarity about our situation. In the past, I have just straight up asked them, what they wanted and basically refused any real interaction until it was all laid out.
I’ll also add, that if any of these girls were seeing other guys (that I knew for sure of), it was basically a non-starter with me. I’m not being option 1B or 2 or 3 or whatever.
Don’t accept nonsense, just to be in a relationship or make those post-breakup feelings, not hurt as much. Be willing to walk away.
After all, the relationship ended, and the obligation really is no longer there. If you’re not getting what you want and feel manipulated, why continue to pursue her at all? There are billions of other options on the planet.