If you still want to get back together with an ex-girlfriend after a break up, one will inevitably end up surveying the landscape, and trying to calculate the odds. What is the chance that she will want to restart our broken relationship?

While never an exact science, we are dealing with the whims of human beings after all, there are signs and obstacles which serve as indicators as to whether or not a reconciliation might happen.

Again, even if the odds seem to point out that there is a decent chance of getting back together happening, there is no guarantee that it will actually take place in reality.

So, while there are an insane number of variables that are unique to each person’s situation, I thought’d I’d cover some aspects that may help or hinder the chance of getting an ex-girlfriend to come back into the fold.

Her Relationship Goals

The first aspect of this that I want to cover, is seeing things from her perspective. Now, she might not have any clue what she wants in terms of relationships after a breakup.

However, there is also a good chance that she has a very good idea, and whether or not you fit into those plans can obviously impact the odds of reconciliation.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

She may be ready for a serious relationship, but felt that perhaps, you weren’t the one she wanted to settle down with for the long-term.

Conversely, maybe your relationship was too serious for her, and she felt stuck within it. Thus, she moves on and begins casually dating other guys.

I would say that in most cases if she wants a longer-term deal and felt like you weren’t mature enough or whatever other reason; then, there is a better chance of getting back together than in the latter example.

After all, one can grow and mature as a person. But it’s hard to convince someone who no longer wants something serious that they should get back into the confines of exclusivity.

Again, there are no hard and fast laws on this sort of thing and it’s strictly up to her own internal thoughts and feelings. However, I will say anecdotally, that age seems to be a factor in making these sorts of decisions.

I have gone out with a lot of women in the past few years, without being tied down in anything serious, and have noticed patterns of behavior based on women’s age range.

Women I’ve dated below the age of 25 were into much more casual relationships or strictly hookups.

Meanwhile, 25-30 tended to be much more all in for a long-term and often potential marriage situation.

Then, the mid-30s women, usually had just gotten out of long-term relationships or marriages, and were all about fun within the confines of a casual relationship.

Many women start to feel the pressure of getting married and starting a family in their late 20s. As such, they might throw overboard their current boyfriend if they feel like, he isn’t up to the job of starting a family with her.

The type of romantic or non-romantic situation that she currently wants can have a huge impact on the chances of getting back together with her.

Thus, the reconciliation plan may be scuttled before it even has an opportunity to get started.

This can play a major role in the decision or effectively none at all. It is a good idea to think about what the scenario was, in your own case, and what sort of things your ex had been saying about the relationship prior.

Who Initiated?

Another common factor in potential reconciliation is the question of who ended the relationship. If it was her, then, the odds are significantly lower. If it was you, then, she might not have expected the relationship to end nor did she particularly want it to.

If it was a mutual decision, then, it’s kind of murky and could go either way with about equal odds. Again, it will all depend on the unique variables of your relationship.

When women break up with you, they usually have an exit strategy planned in advance, and might even have back up guys lined up for when the relationship ends.

If she broke up with you, the chances aren’t nearly as good, but it’s not impossible either.

If you broke up with her, it can be much easier usually to get things started once again. Assuming, that things didn’t turn super ugly during the aftermath of things ending between you. In some cases, all bets are off, because all bridges have been burned.

Factors involved in the Break Up

There are certain issues that may be too much to overcome. For instance, if you cheated on her. She’s probably not going to want to get back together after that. And if she cheated, then, dude…why would you want her back? Move on!

Other major issues could be too much fighting, disagreements about the direction of the relationship, etc.

If you guys couldn’t get along very often, then, things are going to require a major overhaul before a new relationship can even begin.

Take stock of what happened and what the problems of the relationship were. Were there major red flags? If so, how would they be remedied? Can they even be?

It’s pretty amazing, how many people, overlook these basic aspects. They become so consumed with trying to ‘win’ someone back, that they fail to recognize, massive underlying problems of the relationship.

The relationship was ‘broken’ for a reason or many reasons. If it wasn’t, it’d still be continuing on, as a prosperous partnership. Take an honest look at these issues and assess, if they are even worth fixing, to salvage this thing.

Current Communication Levels

Are the two of you speaking? Has she blocked your number or on Facebook? Are you constantly hitting her up and she’s ignoring you?

If she’s more receptive to speaking to you, then your odds are higher that there is still some interest in fixing things, on her part.

Now, if the two of you have a child or some other circumstance that requires you to have to talk to one another, then that doesn’t really count.

The more the lines of communication have been severed, the deeper the hole you have to climb your way out of. A period of no contact may be necessary, to help create some space, and help prevent you from making dumb mistakes before trying to move forward with fixing the broken relationship.

Also, sometimes sex happens after break ups between you and your ex. Usually, this is a positive sign, and that her emotions towards you are still strong.

However, if it was a one time thing, she may have just been feeling lonely that night and may not want any part of getting back together.

Yes, it can be quite difficult at times, to gauge whether or not a sign is revealing. As it can also be a one off event, without much significance.

Time and Relationship Status

The longer it has been since the break up, the more difficult it can become to get back together. If it’s something like a year or more, then the odds aren’t so hot.

In fact, one would have to undergo some serious self-improvement and changes to even re-spark any interest from an ex. It can be done, it’s just not a highly likely proposition, and it would take a good deal of time.

People change over time and the things that were right for them at one point in their lives, no longer are. I always recommend and practice doing so in my own life, that I prepare myself to move forward as if the break up is permanent, even if I do end up getting back together with someone.

Emotionally, it just seems to be the right move. I experience other girls and set a new path for my life, regardless whether or not I can or even want to get her back.

What is her current relationship status? What is yours? If you’re both seeing other people, then, things have run their course.

A new relationship between the two of you would have to be started from scratch, at some point in the future.

If she is with someone else and it seems pretty serious, she’s probably not going to leave that to get back together.

Putting it All Together

The beauty of relationships is how individualized they are. It’s also the reason why, there is no guarantee of getting an ex back, or that’d it even work out in the long run.

On the other hand, there is also a lot of overlap within human relationships, and patterns do begin to emerge which can give you some picture as to what the chances are an ex-girlfriend can be brought back into the fold.

Take the time, to figure out your own situation, and what the pros and cons are. Also, take the time to think deeply as to what you actually want for your life and even if you truly want her back.

Sometimes, we just get so emotionally clouded that it seems like we want an ex-girlfriend back…but we are in fact, just feeling lonely or without a clear path forward.

Down the line, we will move on but in the thick of things it can be really confusing.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. Text messaging can be an ideal place to start, because it is so non-intrusive, and not necessarily an overt attempt at trying to win someone back.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

You may have found yourself in a sort of post-breakup no man’s land. There was a period of emotional turmoil and weakness and you begged for an ex-girlfriend to come back into the fold of a relationship. Judging by the fact that you’re searching online for answers, it must not have worked out in your favor.

That’s okay, I think all of us have been in this same situation before. One of the major issues with using this sort of gambit, is that, it does nothing to address what the problems of the relationship was. It just goes straight to ‘let’s get back together now!’.

Also, it puts one in a position of chasing, desperation, and lowering of value in the girl’s eyes. With that in mind, is it still a possibility of winning her back after begging and getting turned down?

Yes, there is still hope but that doesn’t always mean that this outcome is probably. Let us take a closer look at the act of begging an ex-girlfriend and how to proceed and recover after employing this tactic.

Understanding Things After Begging Her

A major dynamic of relationships is based on value perception. So, when you first start dating someone, they tend to think the world of you…you have a high level of perceived value in their eyes.

After the relationship ends, this value is lower than what’s necessary to make the relationship work. This can be due to various factors that were at the root cause of the break up such as lying, cheating, or any other host of issues.

If she was the one who decided to dump the relationship, this value perception has shifted even more toward her favor.

If she was the only one who felt that the relationship needed to end and is no longer needed in her life, then she has the power of choice.

Meaning, she gets to negotiate from a position of strength or simply gets to move on.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after the break up, the power dynamics and how she perceives you has changed.

With this being the case, when a guy goes begging to get his ex-girlfriend back and she has an already lowered perceived value of him, is pleading for her back going to help him succeed in actually getting her back?

Nope. She will either consciously or unconsciously have a lowered perception of value of the guy after he begs.

The woman can prepare herself to move forward with her life and feel secure in knowing that she can get the man back whenever she wants. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.

It gets lonely sometimes

Why is this a bad thing? Humans have a tendency to place a high value on things that are rare and not easily obtained, such as certain gems, that have no real practical value beyond decoration.

It isn’t a turn no for women to have a guy they already know well, who doesn’t have the mysterious excitement of something new, get down on his knees and beg.

Some of them might get a bit of thrill from the sense of power that comes with being begged for. But, it certainly isn’t an attractive turn on.

Think of some other traits, such as being too available or needy. Having wild emotional/mood swings. Not being able to let go and move on with one’s life. Being obsessed and chasing something that used to exist.

• Are any of these attractive qualities?
• No, so why would a girl want to come back to a guy who is displaying these sorts of qualities to her?

Desperation is fundamentally unattractive to both women and men. This is true whether approaching a new woman at a bar or with a girl you’ve dated for years, it always puts people off.

Does this Relationship Need to Be Recovered?

Not all breakups are created equal. Not all relationships need to be restarted after they’ve been broken. This is the next question that needs to be posited, should a reconciliation even be attempted?

The vast majority of relationships that we have in life, aren’t going to work out. They may be really close to ideal but still have something that just doesn’t quite fit.

The problem is, people tend to lose objectivity, and their decisions get clouded by strong emotions. They either try or actually do get back together with someone who isn’t quite ‘right’ for them, solely because they don’t like feeling lonely.

I take the same tact at the end of every relationship, I allow myself some time to feel bad, get myself together, and think about whether or not I need to try to get back together with the girl or not.

Also, each time I prepare myself to be ready for the relationship to end for good. Even if I’m attempting to get back together with an ex, I still make preparations, that things are really done completely with her.

As individuals, we must accurately assess the reality of the situation and be able to come to the conclusion that best fits our circumstances.

• Is it worth trying to fix this broken relationship?
• Are we currently just too emotional or feeling like we have no direction in life?

There still remains all of the issues that the broken relationship had, that don’t just go away because an agreement to get back together happens.

• Are these issues actually fixable?
• Are there changes that you’re willing to make to accommodate the relationship?
• Is she willing to do the same?
• Deep down, is getting back together even actually what you truly desire?

Just because a relationship is good, doesn’t mean that it’ll ever be great or worth keeping around. If there is a lot of doubt and confusion about what to do after taking the time to think about it, the best bet may be to move on.

Honestly assessing things, is a great way to help discover, whether we just have attachments that we don’t want to get over or if it something worth saving.

Take time out, with as few emotions involved as possible, to ask yourself these questions and any others that are relevant. Doing so, may save you a ton of time in chasing, something that you don’t actually want.

Can She Be Gotten Back After Begging?

Sure it’s definitely possible in some cases to get a girl to come back to you, after she’s lost attraction post-begging.  Now, is it probable?

That depends on a number of variables that is going to be unique to your own situation. Also, it could be a long-term process and with enough time spent apart, you may come to realize that you don’t even want to be back together with her.

You may still have feelings for her but find that it is best to not be with her for whatever reason(s).

The likelihood of her coming back is going to depend on how much damage was done in the post-breakup period or during the end of the relationship itself.

For instance, if you were cheating, then it’s going to be a hard sell to get her to want to come back. For some guys reading this, there are circumstances that are a pretty easy fix. For others, it’s a dim chance.

As always in relationships, it’s not always just about you. The woman has her own life, desires, worries, and plans for the future. These may or may not include you.

So, even if you do everything correctly, she may decide that she want no part of it.

This is another reason why we work on accepting whatever outcome may come from the process. As, we cannot control all of the variables, outside of ourselves.

Raising Your Value

OK, so damage has been done to your level of attractiveness in her eyes, and how much of a ‘catch’ you appear to be. In order to reverse the trend, some changes are obviously going to need to be made.

These changes come in the form of how you interact with her (or don’t), your physical attractiveness, your lifestyle improvements, and your social/dating growth. I wrote about all of that in this post: How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Chase You

The specific improvements needed, will depend on the guy. For some of you, there are emotional issues to work through. Other guys, need to control their anger, or learn to trust other people.

For many guys, this can come in the form of getting better in terms of physical appearance, lifestyle, job or social status. A lot of relationships can end, because the woman feels like the guy hasn’t reached his potential in some way. Things started off promising and later became stagnant.

If a woman has no reason to find a man attractive, she is not going to pursue him, nor will she be excited about being pursued. It’ll be more of an annoyance, of someone she used to date trying to ‘fix’ things.

The self-improvement kick, should last well into the actual process of trying to get back together with the ex-girlfriend But, plenty of work should be done during a period of no contact.

Taking a month or two from trying to pursue her, after you’ve begged, is probably a good idea.

Yes, begging can hurt chances in the short-term, but in the long term it matters much less than what you can offer the other person.

I mean, if you someone who getting back together with will greatly improve her life, would she not take the opportunity because you once begged? Of course not.

The key is righting the ship and recovering as a better version of yourself.

A common issue in the post-breakup time period for men, is the question of whether or not it is too late to get a ex back in the fold of a relationship. After all, once several months or even year(s) have passed by, the paths of people’s lives have often diverged enough to in a sense make them completely different.

They have different hopes, dreams, relationship needs, or feelings towards how things used to be in the past. In effect, they aren’t the same person, as when the relationship began.

This can be a problem when one person has moved on from a broken relationship and the other person is still hoping that things are salvageable. But when is it too late to get back together with an ex-girlfriend? Is it ever?

Is It Ever Too Late?

In one sense, no it isn’t ever ‘too late’ to get back with an ex, at least in some circumstances.

There are examples of people divorcing and then getting back together years later…so it is possible. The question of whether it is probable or even desirable is another issue.

One must understand that once a relationship has finished, that iteration of the relationship is gone for good. Meaning that, any reconciliation that may spring from its ashes is essentially a new relationship or at least a new version.

They’re trying to recapture the past, when the underlying fundamentals of their lives, have changed. Of course it’s going to end poorly, if that’s the route a potential couple takes.

Often times what will happen is that, people will get back together without really solving any of the underlying issues of the relationship, and try to make things exactly how they ‘used to be’.

Sorry, time moves forward and people change, and it won’t be the ‘same’. It is possible that it might be better, BUT it won’t be the same relationship.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

These second or third chance relationships are indeed possible. So in a temporal sense, the amount of time isn’t necessarily a hindrance on getting back together with an ex-girlfriend.

However, time does serve to change people and so a long separation can make getting back together extremely unlikely.

For example, in my own personal life, I could not even fathom getting back together with girls I dated 5-10 years ago…it would be insane to me since my relationship needs have changed so much.

It simply wouldn’t work, even if I was still physically attracted to them. Other folks, may have been apart for a long time, but have such similarities that they took a similar path in their lives since the breakup. Thus, it’s almost like they’ve still grown together, in a weird way.

Ask Yourself Why?

Why do you really want to get back with an ex-girlfriend? Yep, this is a serious question, and many folks never even consider it.

• Is it really about the relationship or an inability to let go of the past?
• What has changed?
• Why will it work out this time?
• What is happening or not happening in your life that makes you want to consider chasing after a broken relationship?

As men, sometimes we get hung up on going after things will really don’t want deep down, but we still make an attempt anyways.

We don’t like to lose. We don’t like to see girls we’ve dated with other guys. Sometimes we don’t have a direction in our life and so we try to cling to things that were once familiar and felt good (relationships).

However, even with all of our mental justifications, there are a lot of times where we just need to let go and accept the fact that things have changed.

In fact, there are plenty of times where it isn’t even in our best interest to try and patch things up with an ex-girlfriend. For instance, we remember them as a better person, than they actually are.

The longing to get back with her might just be a symptom of something else in your life that you either want or our not taking care of.

As of now, it could be lingering in your subconscious, but with some digging you can figure out what exactly it is that you want for yourself.

When Should Giving Up on Reconciliation be Considered?

The first thing I’d say, is related to what I wrote above. When you’ve had an honest search within yourself and have begun to question this inability to move on.

Is it really about her and the relationship or if it’s just about your and some dissatisfaction with life?

If it’s seeming more and more to be about dissatisfaction with some aspect of your life, then the search should probably turn towards figuring out YOU and not trying to get back together with her.

Next, I would say if you’ve been trying different ways to re-spark things with your ex and she’s not really responding or doesn’t seem to have any interest…then it is probably a good time to begin to move forward.

It doesn’t mean things cannot ever be salvaged, it just might not be possible at this time.

Don’t forget that she also has to do what’s best for her and sometimes that won’t include you. It hurts but that’s part of life, we cannot control other people and their wants and needs.

Accept that to be the case and try to be happy for her, even if it feels like shit.

Another reason to consider giving up, is if this whole thing about getting back together is becoming and obsession that is hurting your life. Your life has to be about you.

You cannot ruin it on account of the fact, that you’re no longer dating someone. There are billions of women on this planet and thus statistically there are indeed others available for you. Yes, even better options, if you simply let go of the past attachments.

Secondly, one cannot let the narrative of ‘loneliness’ or ‘happy memories of the past’ dictate how one lives.

The past is gone and we cannot see the future. Let go of the hurt, and explore positive things in life, that you’d like to focus on instead.

Don’t allow yourself to become some pathetic Jay Gatsby character, who still chases after some woman years later, and convinces himself that she’s the greatest thing ever.

The more and more we focus on the past, the less real it becomes. Eventually, we’ve convinced ourselves to how great it was, while ignoring all of the bad or undesirable things that came with it.

We in effect, make up a story and an idealized one at that, in which our ex-girlfriend was a ‘perfect angel’…while an object analysis would prove the opposite.

To sum things up, no it’s not always too late, to get back with an ex. Though, it can indeed be. Different circumstances will come into play based on the individual relationship in question.

However, there are definitely times when one is best served by throwing in the towel on trying to revive the relationship and just moving on with one’s life.

Alright, so, you’ve been through the ringer of the post-breakup period and now want to make your ex-girlfriend to want you back again.

Not only do you want her back, you want her to do the ‘chasing’ in the process.

Well, that’s a fine wish, but how do you go about getting her to miss you enough to want to come after you and rekindle things? In this post, I’m going to break down some considerations before embarking on such a quest and spell out exactly what it takes to make a girl chase a man.

Is This What You Really Want?

Before we get started in the hows and whys of getting a girl to pursue you, I want to write a bit of a caution about making this a goal.

If we are focusing on trying to alter the behavior of one girl, we aren’t particularly focused on ourselves and what is directly within our control. There is no guarantee that you can ever get a girl back and most of the time, it frankly isn’t worth bothering.

Secondly, it kind of puts our ego’s in control, where we are trying to prove how awesome we are to ourselves, that we can get a woman to chase after us. I mean, it’s a different experience from the norm but isn’t necessarily a worthwhile pursuit or use of our time.

Thirdly, part of this process involves getting other women attracted to us. As such, our interest will naturally be diffused, and by the end of it you probably won’t even want your ex-girlfriend around.

It can take us men awhile to fall in love, but once we do, we are locked in on this one girl. Especially, if she becomes your only real option as a female companion.

However, when we have multiple chicks around, we don’t really get the ‘you’re my one and only’ feelings and tend to just sit back and accumulate more women.

OK, that is my brief pitch against bothering to attempt this. Now, let’s get into it.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Why Would She Chase You?

The current status quo of the relationship has made her the object of desire and not you. In order to get a girl to chase, you must be the prize, you must be the desirable man.

We allow this to happen by our obsession on the physical appearance and our sexual thirstiness…we tend to have no control over our sexual desire as men.

When you lose control of your desire, the power of the relationship is shifted to her, as sex is her weapon of control.

Think about it:

• She’s had you already
• You still want her
• Other guys want her
• Few girls (maybe) want you

What exactly are you offering in this situation, that she cannot easily obtain whenever she wants?

This state of affairs is considered normal because that’s most of the relationships that we see around us. It’s almost a spectacle to us men, when we see a guy who has a bunch of women around him, and gives zero fucks about losing them.

Understand that, she already liked you, but after dating you she’s now tired of your whole vibe. You currently aren’t in a position to be chased because there isn’t anything inherently appealing about such a proposition for her.

She has been deemed the desirable one in the current arrangement by your actions, this includes: texting her too much, trying too hard to get back with her, acting jealous, making her the most important thing in your life (still…after a breakup), and all the other desperate guy seeking behavior.

If you want the situation to be flipped, you cannot continue the same pattern of behavior, this is the first step in getting a girl to chase.

Perception of Value

Human interaction is based solely on our perceptions. In terms of the interactions between male and female, her response towards you, is based on how she perceives you in any given moment.

Things are always different from moment to moment, it is just that our perception of time and the changes that occur down to a microscopic level are limited.

This causes us to view ourselves as static beings most of the time. We get narratives in our heads from our own thoughts or external influences which tell us that we are shy, nerdy, not good enough, etc.

None of these are static conditions of life but our thought patterns make them seem to be. The more we identify with these conditioned thoughts, the more they become our perceived reality.

A man’s perceived value at any given time is malleable to some extent, with the greater amount of time, having the most profound effects on it.

This is why, you can get rejected by a hot girl in high school, and a few years later have her thinking you are extremely hot…due to whatever positive alterations you made to effect external perceptions about you. It could be the way you walk, talk, look, or whatever.

Value, is a very fluid thing for men. We can boost our perceived value because it is based more on a totality of who we are as a man versus women who are greatly confined by their physical attractiveness.

This perception of value is why some guys have multiple women at all times while others are forever alone.

As an example, let’s imagine that there are two guys, Guy #1 and Guy #2. Four women have both of these men as their dating options…let’s see what these guys are all about.

Guy #1: Good looking, successful, educated, carries himself with confidence, social, socially connected, has many options to date.

Guy #2: Not great looking, out of shape, lives with his mom, has zero social skills, and dates his left hand (and occasionally switches to righty)

Each woman gets to choose one of the two men independently of the decisions made by the other women. Which guy will they all choose (outside of one having a fetish for scrubs)? Obviously, Guy #1, as his perceived value is much higher.

Not only that, these women will prefer to share that first guy over Guy #2, because of this value gap.

Some kind of acceptance is made by the women, who intuitively know that Guy #1 has other women around, BUT since they have no interaction with the other women they are willing to date him also.

It’s sort of an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ phenomenon, where since the girls don’t directly know about one another, they will gladly share him.

Now, this arrangement might not be tenable for the long run, but even when the women leave Guy #1, Guy #2 will still be home alone.

That’s the level that many guys can find themselves at…chicks would rather be the side piece for an ‘attractive man’ versus being the steady girlfriend/wife of the guy with seemingly few redeeming qualities.

Now, in order to get an ex-girlfriend to be interested in you enough to chase, your perceived value needs to be raised in her eyes. This usually requires that your value be raised in the eyes of lots of other women too.

Raising your value, so to speak, can be a long-term process for lots of guys…which is why it’s mostly a good idea to just move on from your ex.

However, some guys, already have the social skills to make things happen and in that case it makes sense to back off from communication with your ex-girlfriend and go full on into creating a bad ass lifestyle, that would perhaps make her reconsider.

Let’s explore some ways to alter the perception the external world has of you (your ex-girlfriend in particular) and how this flips the script to make you seem really desirable.

Downgrade Her Credit Rating with You

I’m taking a financial concept and applying it here. As your girlfriend, she was AAA rated…meaning, she had complete access to you and your life whenever she wanted, on very good terms.

That is the benefit of being your girlfriend. Now, that the two of you are no longer together, her credit rating gets docked significantly. She gets treated like every other girl and the full access is over with.

What this means in practical terms is that you pay very little attention to her and you aren’t in communication with her, unless she reaches out to you first.

Even then, keep it as bare bones as possible. Don’t be mean or bring up old relationship baggage but be cordial and non-needy.

The reason why this is such a crucial element to getting a girl to chase you, is that, both trying to bombard her with texts and being always available is chasing behavior. You cannot be chased if you are the one chasing.

If the relationship is over, you no longer have the responsibility to treat her as your girlfriend. She doesn’t get the special treatment because the verbal agreement of ‘being together’ is now null and void. She has to get in line for your time, just like anyone else would.

Bring in the New Recruits

There is this weird concept of ‘winning’ a breakup that is going around and women especially seem to really buy into this notion.

It’s basically the idea that one side is doing better than the other in the aftermath of a doomed relationship, making it into some kind of competition, instead of just remembering the good times together and moving forward.

You shouldn’t give a flying fuck about ‘winning’ a break up but you should recognize that women will always compare who comes after them and tend to notice when their ex-boyfriends have a ton of options.

So, this is one of the reasons I’m hesitant to suggest that guys attempt to make their ex’s start to chase them. Many guys simply don’t have the necessary skills at this point in their development to bring in new women quickly when they have a break up.

It kind of makes it hard to get someone to really want you, if nobody else seems all that interested. It’s supply and demand in action.

Always know that there is no guarantee a girl will come back to you. However, you should still take your new found freedom, as an opportunity to improve your life in every facet.

The absolutely quickest way to meet lots of women in a short amount of time is through an app like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, etc.

If you’re decent at utilizing this app, you can turn it into two dates per week easily. The two best dates, that I have found, are either inviting the girl along when you’re already going out with your friends to a bar (even better if she brings friends too) or having a designated bar close to where you live in which you go meet her for drinks.

The first option is great because it builds comfort and she gets to see you interacting with others. The second is great because it takes less of your time, you already know what to order to save money, and since you’re close by your house it is easy to get her to come over afterwards.

Now, I’m not going to get into a step by step breakdown of how to pick up girls or how to have a successful date, as it is beyond the scope of this post. However, in order to have any girl chase you, there must be other girls who want to chase you as well.

Having lots of women around acts as sort of a multiplier effect, which brings even more women, and things just grow from there.

Exes always notice who it is you’re dating after them and if you suddenly have lots of girls buzzing around, the idea that she may have made a mistake could take hold (again, this is why I don’t like trying to make an ex chase, it’s way too involvement to waste on one girl).

Get Social

Beyond just having more girls around, building an active social life is also important. Most girls don’t want to be with a complete loner and having lots of options socially at the very least creates the illusion of having a lot going for you.

You can join groups, play sports, and do whatever else it takes to meet and hang out with new people.

Think about it, if your ex girlfriend suddenly saw a bunch of social photos or commitments of you on her Facebook or whatever social media site timeline, would she realize that perhaps you aren’t wallowing and spending your time thinking about her?

If others want to spend so much time with you, doesn’t that make you inherently more attractive?

Get Physical

The easiest change to make in one’s life is a change to the body. Getting in shape is like improving your resume with women, it may not always get you the job, but it will usually get you an interview opportunity.

Some guys may not need this aspect, however, if you could drop 20-30 in the next 4-6 months and get into fantastic shape, it can make an immense difference to how all girls respond towards you (including an ex).

This was a huge part of my own life, putting on muscle and dropping fat, got me soooo many more girls than I had before. Add that, to good social skills and a cool life, and you’ve got an attractive recipe.

Get Your Life Together

OK, beyond just getting girls, friends, and getting into shape…get your life together! Your ex-girl probably had long-term plans for you at one point in time, right? Meaning, she possibly could have seen herself marrying you or something along those lines.

Why would any woman, go for a guy who doesn’t have much going on for himself? This includes education, career opportunities, starting your own business, or just following through on all the dreams/promises that you made to yourself or her.

Even if she never comes back, do yourself the favor off getting things on track to where YOU want to go with your life.

Putting this All Together

A girl will only chase you if you and your life situation are appealing to her. An ex will only chase you, if she is returning to something that is different and much better than when she left.

It has to be a better deal than the previous relationship, that was obviously broken. What this means for a man is that your entire life situation must be improved upon to the degree that it’s obvious to any woman that she is entering a good situation for herself.

She won’t chase you if everything is the same…that relationship is a known quantity to her and it wouldn’t make sense to just go back to it.

However, this can take a long while to transform one’s life on such a scale and by the time it happens you may not even want her back.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

Break ups are tough to deal with under any circumstance, especially when that circumstance involves your now ex-girlfriend dating another guy. Sometimes, the new relationship starts before the breakup happens or a woman can quickly move on with their dating lives shortly after the old one has run its course.

What happens, though, when you still want your ex-girlfriend back in a relationship with you and she is seeing another man? How do you go about reconciling the relationship?

Can you even get her back from her new boyfriend?

What’s Your True Motivating Factor?

So, the first question that one should ask himself and be completely honest about is why do you want her back?

• Is it because you truly love her and want to be with her in the long run?
• Is it more a feeling of jealousy because she is seeing someone else and now you crave her attention like a child who has lost his favorite toy?
• Are you just feeling lonely after the two of you were no longer seeing each other?
• Is that loneliness making you think that things should be worked out when you should really move forward with your life?

This is highly important to figure out before you ever pursue any type of relationship with an ex. There is no use getting involved again in a relationship that is permanently broken and going nowhere.

This is why following the No Contact Rule is such a good idea right after the break up because it gives the two people time apart from one another, to let emotions settle down, and rational decisions to be made.

Think about what you really want for your life moving forward. Let go of your ego’s jealous tendencies and stop focusing on your ex-girl and her new man. This is about discovering what YOU want!

If you cannot figure this out, then the best bet is not to try to get her back from this other guy. It’ll probably just be a long frustrating experience of you chasing the way things used to be instead of plotting a new future.

Too many people get caught up in this sort of cycle, constantly chasing after something that is no longer there. Even when relationships get reconciled, they have to grow and change, otherwise it’s just a matter of time before the breakup happens again.

It’s like the old saying, “You can’t step into the same river twice.” The water is always moving and so is life.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Type of Relationship is She In?

Not all relationships following a breakup are the same. For instance, you might have tried to get past thinking about your old girlfriend by going out and hooking up with other women.

Those aren’t serious relationships and just because your ex is in an exclusive relationship doesn’t mean that it is particularly serious either. She may very well have been lonely and just wanted someone else around.

She may be trying to figure out if this guy is a good fit. If she even wants to be in a serious relationship. Your ex girlfriend might just be involved in a rebound relationship, meaning it isn’t serious but she is just trying to get her bearings after getting out of a relationship with you.

If the relationship appears to be serious from your vantage point, it is best to just leave things alone and not try to interfere.

You might still try to contact her, and win her over at some point, but don’t be petty and intentionally screw up things with her new boyfriend. That’s just a dick move.

Plus, trying to force her hand, will most certainly back fire. She’d probably double down on the relationship with the new guy, even if he’s not the right one, because you tried to openly sabotage things between them.

Determining the seriousness of this relationship, will indicate how difficult of a process it is going to be to win her back.

Understand, though, that even if her new relationship is just a rebound, that doesn’t mean that she will definitely want to get back together with you.

Sometimes you can get an ex back and sometimes they are gone for good. That’s just something you have to accept, as a part of being in and out of relationships with women.

How to Deal with the Mental

A large part of being able to have a shot at getting an ex back, involves the psychology of the whole thing. See, a lot of people play things the wrong way from the very start.

It is a very emotionally turbulent time. Men don’t usually have these sorts of strong emotions, on a regular basis. So, when we get hit with a split, we don’t always cope well.

From there, our rationalizations and coping mechanisms kick in, and we try desperately to fix the broken relationship. In the process, we do dumb things like:

• text her constantly
• beg for her back
• say mean things
• try to meddle in her new relationship
• beat ourselves up
• do other jealous and overly emotional things

This is especially tough to get through, when she does have a new guy, because we start comparing ourselves to him. We worry about her sleeping with that dude. Even, forgetting about us.

Time apart from one another can be a very very good things, even when it is painful initially. The key thing for getting through break ups emotionally, is to have a plan for the future, and reinforce positive feelings.

During the No Contact period of a break up, I always do the same stuff, no matter if I’m trying or not trying to get back with my ex-girlfriend.

First, I specifically limit the amount of time each day that I’m allowed to be sad over her. I literally set aside a period of time each day, where I can feel those negative emotions. After that, I soldier on, and try to do nothing but absorb positive messages.

Why? I don’t want to reinforce negative patterns all day. Allowing my emotions to run over my life, just makes them stronger, and causes me to wallow for a longer time.

I also set the bar for positive emotions really low. I will listen to motivational speeches, watch comedy TV shows or movies, listen to upbeat music, exercise, etc. All of these activities, flood my brain with positive emotions, which is a nice change of pace from being miserable.

Next, I start to include meditation sessions and breathing techniques to let go of negative thought patterns.

I work on those feelings of being angry, sad, or especially jealous of the other guy in this scenario. There are plenty of free guided meditations on YouTube…use them everyday, it will help!

Finally, I give myself other things to pursue. Yes, I focus on myself and my goals in life, outside of women. I have physical goals, business goal, or something specific that I want to accomplish. If all you have all day to think about is an ex, then, of course she is all you will think about.

make dem changes

What is Your Specific Situation?

It is really difficult to give generalized advice when your specific situation may vary. For example, one guy’s ex may still talk to him on a regular basis, while another guy’s ex totally ignores him.

One may have already done a period of no contact while the other guy may desperately text his ex daily.

A key thing here is, to determine what your own specific situation is like, and weigh the odds on how likely it is that you can still get your ex back (if you have already thought long and hard about it and still actually do want to try).

If she appears to be in a serious relationship, isn’t communicating with you very much or at all, and isn’t showing any signs that she is still interested in being with you…then it might be time to throw in the towel.

At the point, it’s just a really low percentage shot, you may get her back but it’ll be very difficult and will most likely not succeed.

If you think that your odds are better or your ex is still showing some indicators of interest, then you might consider trying to pursue reconciliation.

Should You Start Dating?

Ok, so, this question becomes a distinct personal decision for guys to make. For me, after a break up, I start moving fairly quickly into some non-serious dating with women.

I don’t get involved in a new relationship, but I want myself to understand, that there are indeed a world of options out there.

But, wait…should one date, when he’s trying to get back with a specific girl? Well, she’s already dating, so how can she really hold it against you for doing the same?

Plus, it can stir up feeling in women to see her ex with someone else.

For example, I remember being out one night, and chatting with a group of women. Another woman, who I used to date, saw this and suddenly had a ton of interest in what I was doing.

She went from being ‘completely over me’, to later questioning me who those women were, and even trying to make something happen between us again.

There is the weird competitive jealousy that people get, when they see someone they used to be with, around with a new person.

It’s a positive signal for a man, for his ex to see him around with new girls, as it kind of stirs up thoughts as to whether she missed something important about him. What do these other women see in him?

I get that, for lots of men, getting dates can be a difficult task to accomplish. I’m pretty convinced at this point, that this fact is a big reason, why so many go crawling back to their exes begging. They see that they have limited options with other women and panic.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There are unbelievable numbers of single women out there and it’s not terribly difficult to land some numbers, dates, and whatever.

Anyway, I find that when getting dates with other girls, it helps to clarify what I like and dislike about my ex-girlfriend. “Oh wait, that annoying shit she does, isn’t a universal female trait?” Getting to have other experiences with other women, is a good way to help to decide what you want and don’t want in your life.

You may come to discover, that the ex, wasn’t as good of a fit as you made her out to be in your mind. You might find someone that is a great match. Conversely, you may discover that you enjoy being single, and playing the field…which can be a fund choice, at times.

You don’t have to start seeing other women, but it is something to take into consideration, as trying to get back with someone who is dating another person…can take a long time to pull off.

Improve Your Standing for All Potential Outcomes

It should be helpful during this time to go No Contact with your ex (if you haven’t already done so) and then start working on improving yourself and your own life.

Remember, she has to see you as a better option to meet her needs overall, in order to want to be with you versus any other man.

Improve yourself in the physical sense with exercise, mentally, financially, work on any emotional issues, or any other problems that were causing trouble in the relationship, and just becoming a better man in general.

The good thing about this method is that even if you don’t end up getting back together with your ex, your value with other women will have shot up, and you should be able to have options thereafter.

It’s probably going to have to happen one way or another, so, it’s best to get started on improvement now. This path will help to heal the emotional pain that a breakup causes, as well as, giving one clarity about exactly what they want moving forward.

I think that the easiest thing to improve during this time is the physical. Most folks aren’t already in great shape, as such, going this route can be a good stress reliever and add a few points on the physical attractiveness scale.

Yes, every bit helps. She was already physically attracted to you once before, now amplify that for any potential new relationship, that rises from the ashes. Women do notice this stuff. I’ve had women I’ve dated years ago, comment or message me over a new picture, where I look particularly in shape.

One important aspect to focus on, is your weak points from the relationship. Everybody has their faults, especially in relation to someone else, what were yours?

There had to be reasons for the break up to take place. From your end, what were some negative things that you contributed to the demise of the relationship? What are some things that you can try to change, in the event that you get back together?

Be honest and figure this stuff out, as it can only help you when moving forward.

Shifting Towards Contact

Alright, the essential theme is to take the time to figure out what you want, stop pestering her during No Contact, set about improving your life, explore possibilities with other women, and then attempt to re-establish contact with the ex (if you still even want to).

This can take on many different looks, depending on your specific circumstances. I’ve had women get jealous after seeing me with someone else. I’ve had them suddenly miss me, after seeing that dating others, wasn’t as appealing to them.

Sometimes, I’ve gone about reconnecting with them, and things grew from there. We kind of became friends again, and then, had some new version of the relationship.

Whatever form it make take, the most direct way to try to get back together with someone, is to reach out to them first. This isn’t a declaration of love or begging for them. It is instead, sending out feelers, and trying to build from there.

What’s the first move?

Eventually, enough time will have passed, that one can attempt to reach out to their ex, in order to move forward with getting back together. There really isn’t a better medium for doing so, nowadays, than text messaging.

The hurdle is so small for the ex to send a response, it is crazy. Like, she can respond a minute later or a week later. She doesn’t have to see the guy face to face, she can decide late if and when she wants to respond, and there is no real pressure to make up her mind.

There is also the fact that it is a direct, private, and personal way to communicate AND you can take the time to come up with exactly the right way to phrase what you want to say.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

Human relationships can be tricky. This is especially the case when several of your relationship start to overlap with one another, in a seemingly negative way.

One such instance, could be when an ex-girlfriend starts suddenly dating one of your close friends or even acquaintances.

Then you are not only dealing with her moving on from you but also potentially seeing your best friend. This type of situation is actually somewhat common and it can sting quite a bit and feel like a complete betrayal by those who were once very close to you.

How does a man handle an ex-girlfriend starting over in such a way?

Deal with the Emotions First

The first thing to do, is to be able to get your emotions in check if they are currently out of control.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel bad, but you cannot let them dictate your actions either.

Yes, it hurts but turning everything into a victim narrative isn’t going to help anything really. Face the facts, that she is not only seeing someone else, but she is also seeing someone who you are friends with…

Notice what type of emotions rise up when you think about it. Now, get to the roots of these feelings by asking some probing questions such as…

• Why does this bother me?
• Does this bother me more than if it were some random guy?
• Is my ultimate happiness dependent on these two people?
• Don’t I dictate my own happiness?
• Am I doomed to loneliness now?
• Aren’t there billions of other females on this planet, can’t I get another great one?
• Am I less of a man because of this?
• No, how did this diminish me?
• Could I be grateful for the time that I’ve spent with both people?
• Can I forgive them both and eventually be happy for them?
• Do I need to be happy for them? I can just move forward on my own.

Keep asking questions that take apart the negative narrative you currently have in your head about this situation.

With time and a fresh perspective, the pain will lessen and you can not only move on but indeed feel some sort of happiness or at least ambivalence to her now dating your best friend.

It is understandable to feel betrayed when an unspoken ‘rule’ was violated by one of your friends and that your old girlfriend is now into him more than you.

The status quo has been shaken up and change such as this can be confusing, scary, or just something that pisses you off.

Take the time to get your emotional house in order and emerge from this stronger and have more mental clarity.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Decide What Your Relationship Towards Them Will Be

Now, I would take some time away from either one of them, at least as much as possible. If they cut you off already, then so much the better.

Don’t be afraid to go completely no contact with the both of them, in order to get your head straight and cope with this change.

With enough time, you need to decide if you will continue to be friends with them or to no longer have any contact with them ever again.

Neither one is a bad option if that is what you want, just don’t carry baggage about it and be bitter.

If you’re going to still be close with them, then be so. You probably shouldn’t go this route, but some of you will no doubt attempt it.

If not, let them go and live your separate lives.

People come and go in our lives. Friends from school. Romantic partners. Even family members. A lot of life is about dealing with the sudden changes, additions, and subtractions.

Holding a grudge is only going to serve to continually drag up old emotions and things cannot move forward amicably at that point.

Get Your Own Life Back on Track

She’s moved on. Now, you must do the same completely. You cannot have one foot in the door hoping that she will come back or worrying about their new relationship…you must carry on in a new direction.

This means:

• dating
• new business opportunities
• personal development
• traveling
• meeting new friends
• new career path

Whatever it is you feel like you should start doing, take advantage of your new found freedom. After all, being single ain’t so bad.

Actually, it can be a lot of fun and a great growth opportunity, now that you’re no longer stuck in the rut of a long term relationship.

Perspective dictates one’s response to a situation…

“I can’t believe she is seeing someone else.” becomes “Thank you, sweetie. I’ve been wanting to sleep with other girls for the longest time. Now, I can”

Don’t give up on things, don’t obsess over this. Allow yourself to feel negatively about it for a time and then let these feelings go.

You have a whole life to life outside of the confines of previous relationships and things don’t stop moving forward just because things aren’t the same as they were in the past (hint: they never stay the same).