The modern communication abilities that we have thanks to technology have been absolutely great for guys in their dating lives. Texting and apps like Tinder have enabled us to avoid calling the old fashioned house phone and talk to as many available girls as we want.
However, it has also empowered those women, including our ex-girlfriends to ignore our text, Facebook, or other direct messages whenever it suits them.
Why would an ex ignore your texts and ultimately just not respond to them? Well, why one may be ignoring you specifically is a tough nut to crack without having the exact details and circumstances involved (and no I’m not Dr.Phil trying to solve all your woes).
BUT what I can do, is present some common reasons that your old girlfriend just isn’t going to talk to you.
My Ex Won’t Text Me Back…Some Possible Reasons Why
She’s Moved On
One thing you should know about women. When they’re done, they’re done (most of the time). Yes, you can have situations for a while where she isn’t exactly sure how to feel about you, she might still talk with you, or even sleep together.
At some point, though, that final frontier is crossed and she is ready to move on with her life. Now, this can mean that she wants to be alone without a partner for a while or that she is seeing other guys.
I know that it can hurt to thing about someone you were close with being with another, but it is a simple fact of life that we all must contend with from time to time.
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We do have to let go of people eventually and if there’s a good chance that she’s moved on, you should prepare to do the same. This means going about your life, making positive changes, working towards goals, and even dating other girls.
Now, things may change in the future and a reconciliation may eventually be possible but while we can hope for the best we must plan for the most likely outcome.
Moving on isn’t always a finality. I have had ex-girlfriends break up with me and want nothing to do with me, only to later feel the need to contact me again.
It’s a really weird phenomenon sometimes, like, you just need to let people go out and explore the world on their own…and the ideas they have in their heads, don’t work out as they thought. Then, they just start reaching out for anything familiar to them.
I had one girl that I dated, hit me up in successive years under the guise of both being ‘just friends’ and then also, trying to have a sexual relationship. I hadn’t spoken to her in years and had zero feelings toward her any longer. Crazy, but it happens a lot to people.
You’ve Become a Creep
When some people get desperate to get their ex back, they start texting the girl way too much, becoming almost stalker like, or even becoming violent/angry towards them. The violent aspect doesn’t apply to most guys, but many guys do text their ex-girlfriends a lot and come off as needy and weak.
If this applies to you, back off. Going no contact, might not get an ex-girlfriend to come back. However, it isn’t going to make things worse. The situation needs to cool off and both parties need their space to live their lives.
Being the creepy or stalker-ish ex-boyfriend is a huge turnoff to women and it isn’t going to make her respond to whatever texts may come her way.
I’ve never successfully gotten a girl to come back, trying to go the texting and explaining route. However, I have gotten girlfriends to become interested in me again, after I went No Contact and stopped making myself appear desperate to have her back in my life.
Obsessiveness and desperation are major turn offs for people. Yes, she knows you well after dating for so long. But, that relationship is now severed and it becomes quite easy to push her further away while desperately trying to grasp her attention back to you.
Guys really need to chill with this shit.
She’s Up on a Pedestal…and You Put Her There
This is a offshoot of the last point. Texting a girl a lot and becoming really emotional about her is quite repulsive to women. Don’t treat her as if she is some sort of perfect angel and that your life is over without her (it isn’t).
Why would she respond favorably towards a guy she knows she has some control over and can get him back any time she pleases? Where’s the challenge? Where’s the equality in the relationship?
Essentially, you make yourself less attractive as a man because you’ve ceded your masculinity and everything that she probably used to find attractive.
Don’t beg. Don’t be a lapdog. Use this time period as an opportunity to improve your life, regardless if she ever comes back or not. Chicks come and go BUT the one constant in your life is YOU.
Which guy would she be more likely to go back to?
The guy who texts and pretty much obsesses over her or the guy who is out doing positive things with his life and seeing other women? The answer is the latter.
The post-breakup period is a trying time emotionally, I get it, I’ve been there.
The problem is, when we’re hyped up in these insanely emotional states, we do dumb things that we believe will ‘solve our problems’ but really just destroy our chances of resolving anything.
One of the dumb things we do, is to go into begging and pleading mode. Or better yet, the complete idealization of her and the relationship, but if everything was so perfect…it wouldn’t have failed.
A man has to maintain his cool throughout this process, whether the outcome is what you want, or one that doesn’t work out in your favor. Again, time and the right plan, can often flip situations for the better. You just can’t mess things up in the meantime.
She’s Just Pissed Off at You
Sometimes, it isn’t a big thing where she’s moved on or she’s lost interest in you. It might just be a temporary situation, where she’s completely pissed off at you and needs more time to cool off before she’s ready to talk to you.
This one isn’t such a big deal usually, unless you did something really terrible like cheat on her…then yeah, you might be fucked. There can be lots of little reasons she might not want to respond to anything you say at the moment. This is just a storm you’ve got to ride out.
Emotional states change and the thought patterns that make someone be really mad, eventually pass, and they can think rationally once again. Time apart allows cooler heads to prevail and give someone clarity about what they want and don’t want in their lives.
That clarity might make a woman realize, that the relationship she just ended is the best option for her in life, and that the anger she felt wasn’t really anything major.
Just like you might currently be in a volatile emotional state, she probably is as well. There’s a huge flux in people’s moods following a breakup, so, what she might be mad about now perhaps won’t bother her next month.
Personally, I’d rather have a woman be mad at me, than not caring at all. At least, I know she feels something, and still has an attachment. Even if, it is currently a negative view toward me.
What Can You Do When She Won’t Reply to Your Messages?
Really, the best moves you can make are to:
1. Not send any more messages, see the no contact rule post
2. Prepare to move on, even if she comes back.
3. Try to re-contact again, at a later date.
The first aspect gives her space and allows you to stop coming off as really desperate and unattractive. While the second, makes it easier to move past the breakup if it is indeed a permanent thing and it very well might be.
Then, when things have settled down a bit, maybe a month or so from now. You can try to open up the lines of communication again. This is only if, you’ve really put thought into things and still want to try to get back together with her.
A lot of times, once you’ve had time apart and gotten your head clear, you find out that you don’t actually want to be with the ex. You figure out that most of what you were feeling was an almost addictive quality, because you were so used to being together, that a break up shocked your system.
Of course, your own situation will vary but as far as a general point of view that about does it. There are some many variables and reasons why she may not be responding but the only one who knows for sure is her.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex at some point. She’s not currently responding to your texts, but at some point, she very well could. Of course, we still have to give things time, and let the situation settle down but texting can be an amazing weapon to give things another try.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back” program.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of television shows, to discuss his methods at repairing broken relationships.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: