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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Does No Contact Rule Work to Get an Ex-Girlfriend Back?

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The No Contact Rule is a tried and true stand by for dealing with the post-breakup world one finds themselves in, once a relationship collapses. A common question that arises when this strategy is brought up is, does it actually work?

Can one get their ex-girlfriend to come back by avoiding any kind of verbal or social engagement with her? This has a high success rate? After all, what is so damn special about No Contact, and why should one not talk to the woman that he wants to get back together with?

Does No Contact Work with a High Success Rate?

When asking whether something works or not, I think that it’s important to define what that actually means. If you are asking for a fool-proof, 100% success rate way of getting an ex-girlfriend back fast…sorry, it doesn’t exist.

Each relationship is a separate problem unto itself. Each individual will have different desires and needs in their lives, thus, a blanket strategy isn’t going to have a 100% success rate to attract them back.

Is that really the issue, however? How few things in life, actually have a 100% success rate?

The actual question should be, does the No Contact Rule work better than the alternatives? In my experience, it does indeed.

Win ex back now

What do most guys do when they want to get their exes back? Is there any real coherent strategy? One day, you might not want her back, and then the next day she is all that you think about.

The emotional turmoil following a break up is so intense, that the plan to get her back is all over the place. Sometimes you’re strong and cool, sometimes you come off as desperate and needy.

What the No Contact Rule does on one level, is to keep up a consistent front for a period of time, so that one doesn’t blow his opportunity to reconcile the relationship.

That 3 AM text or phone call can come off mighty desperate, and only serves to hurt the chances, of ever getting things to work out.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

It’s kind of like basketball. You’re never going to hit 100% of the shots that you take, you’re going to miss eventually.

What the No Contact Rule does is to get you a higher percentage shot. Instead of some off balance, one-legged turnaround jumper while you have a broken wrist, and are 50 feet away from the basket…

Which is what you are essentially taking, while in that poor emotional state following the breakup. It work to help you emotionally, it gets her to have time apart to heal herself, and creates some intrigue. This is important, when she’s been hearing from you non-stop (this applies to some of you reading).

Does No Contact work? It can. Sometimes it doesn’t. However, it usually gives one the best odds of making the correct moves towards getting an ex back.  

Of course, there are cases where no matter what you do, she ain’t getting back together with you. You can try but at some point, it is time to move on with your life.

Why No Contact?

No Contact is essential because it gives both parties space and time to heal away from one another. In an emotional moment or highly charged emotional period of time, poor decisions can be made that someone who was sober and levelheaded wouldn’t make.

Let’s You Get a Clear Perspective without Her Influence

It of course would ‘feel’ good, to get back together with someone, immediately after they aren’t in your life any longer. Wanting to feel better in the short-term, isn’t a valid basis for a relationship.

There is a void and a depth of emotion that feels like it needs to be quelled after such an event. That doesn’t mean that it is the best long-term decision.

The breakup happened for a reason or multitude of reasons. These issues need to be worked out for a new relationship to work but sometimes these issues cannot be worked out.

Getting back together, when the differences cannot be mended, is a recipe for a failure over the long-term. It’s like putting tape over something that needs a serious repair, it might hold for a while, but it’ll break again eventually.

Gives Her Space

She needs space to figure out exactly what she wants in her life and as a man you need to do the same. With time and an appropriate perspective on things, you might find out that you want to take a completely different course with your life, and one that doesn’t involve your ex-girlfriend.

Do You Even Want Her Back?

However, without time apart from one another, you might never realize this fact and try to barrel forward with a reconciliation of a broken relationship. That distance and separation, never has time to take hold, and bring about clarity.

Time is an ally in this process because it allows the brain to heal. Make no mistake, love is like a drug, and a break up can feel like an addict losing their drug of choice.

How can one make a rational choice about how to move forward, if constant contact is maintained? The view of the right path to take will only emerge with the clarity imposed by time passed.

This is one reason so many people, keep going back to broken relationships, time and time again. They never take enough time off and/or don’t put in any work to figure out what’s actually best.

Gives You Time To Yourself

One of the most important aspect of the No Contact Period, is how much time is now available to focus on your own well-being.

Getting away from another person for a while, let’s you get your own life back in order, and fix what you’ve been neglecting.

Plus, you are more likely to find other opportunities, if you either don’t want to get back together or she doesn’t. This gives guys, a period of time to perhaps start seeing new women. (If he’s in the right emotional space and can handle it).

What is the No Contact Rule?

The No Contact Rule is basically cutting off communication with the ex-girlfriend for some period of time. This usually lasts for between 1-2 months.

During this period, the person doesn’t: talk to, text, email, interact with on Facebook, IG, Snapchat, or any other social media accounts. Not liking their posts or anything.

There are exceptions to the rule. For instance, you have to talk to them, because you have kids together or some other necessary arrangement.

In these scenarios, you are to be cordial, but essentially just handle your business with them. Don’t beg, plead, or talk about getting back together.

Most of the time, this process runs in the 30-45 day range. Sometimes, slightly shorter or longer, depending on individual circumstances. But, it always goes for more than a couple weeks.

What to Do During No Contact

Obviously, try to avoid talking to her as much as possible. However, I have always felt and made this a point to do in my own life, that this period of No Contact and indeed the post-breakup period itself should be about personal growth.

Take the time to focus on yourself and improving your life with or without her.

Read, workout, pursue interests, explore new opportunities…whatever. Don’t make rash decisions and upend your life on a whim BUT figure out ways that you can make yourself feel better that are positive, not self-destructive, and don’t rely on your ex-girlfriend as a positive stimulus.

This is a chance to really figure things out moving forward, about what you do and don’t want in your life. You improve yourself and heal during this time.

If she does want to get back together, she gets a better version of you. If not, well, you’re now in a great situation for yourself or to attract a new girl when you’re ready.

Here are some posts that cover this further:

What Comes After No Contact?

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

He also recommends a period of no contact with an ex and also shows how to both work through the time apart and how to decide what to do next.

If you want further help working out things or really do want to make things work with an ex, this is something you’ll want to check out.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Back if She Just Wants to be Friends

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Ah, the dreaded friend zone. This is a spot which is usually reserved for guys who a girl has no romantic interest in initially and not a guy whom she has already dated.

However, there are circumstances in which after a break up, your ex-girlfriend might tell you that she just wants to be friends with you now, and that she doesn’t want the two of you to hate each other.

In principle, being friends with your ex doesn’t seem like such a bad proposition. But, it can turn out that way, based on the feelings you still have and what her true meaning is exactly.

In my experience, the whole just being friends thing, doesn’t really mean that the two of you are going to be best buds and hang out all of the time.

So, in this post, I want to explore a little bit of what it means for you and your ex to be ‘just friends’ and if there is a clear methodology to get yourself out of said situation or if it is even desirable.

I Want Us to Be Just Friends

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

Alright, so, you and this girl have had a sit down or she has texted and informed you of your new found friendship. You may have agreed that the two of you should remain friends in the aftermath of the breakup. Even though, you probably didn’t really mean it.

From your end, you still want her back as a girlfriend and are only being amenable to friendship, so that you can stay somewhat close to her.

Let’s just be honest from the start here, you are still sexually attracted to this girl. Plus, probably have romantic feelings towards her.

As such, there’s no purely Platonic relationship here and while you still care about her, you’re not really her ‘friend’!

On the flip side, she is suggesting being friends in order to: Either, let you down gently and diminish your intentions, of you trying to get back together with her. Or she is planning on keeping you around, for other purposes.

Being stuck in the friend zone means that, you will be giving away your time and attention, in exchange for something you don’t actually want (the illusion of true friendship).

In that situation, her emotional needs and need to have someone to download all of her problems onto is met by you, her now ‘neutered’ ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, she can go out and get her physical needs satisfied by other men…whom she still has sexual attraction to.

Listen to this clip below, for a great explanation of the ‘Time Ho’ phenomenon, and see if it doesn’t describe your current situation.

Listen, man, the break down of this problem is actually quite simple.

If you really just want to be friends, have other girls around, and no longer have any type of real attraction to this girl…then by all means, go be a friendly guy.

That’s cool, just don’t get what the relationship is now, confused with what it used to be.

If you actually just want to get back with her or you are undecided if that’s the best course of action to take, then, don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that the two of you are pals.

It’s an either or thing. You can be friends with an ex if that same spark is no longer there. Or, you can still desire her, and want to reconcile the relationship. Trying to play it both ways, isn’t tenable, in the long-term.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Escape from Friend Zone Mountain

Removing yourself from the friend zone is a laborious process. The first thing that I would consider, is if being with this girl is truly what I want or am I just carrying leftover emotional baggage.

If it is the latter, then, I would suggest getting to work with moving on with your life and letting go of this failed relationship…there are literally billions of others out there for us to pursue.

Getting past it, is mostly a function of time mixed with the pursuit of personal growth, so that your life doesn’t stagnate and you don’t become consumed with the past and what was.

If you are hellbent on getting out of the friend zone and trying to get back together with this girl, however, just know that while it can be done, it is never a guarantee to work.

Ask yourself if you really want to spend time chasing something that may never be and even if it comes to fruition, it won’t be the same as it once was.

Luckily, this decision doesn’t have to be made on the spot, as the best path to follow whether moving on from or trying to get out of the friend zone with your ex-girlfriend is the same…at least initially.

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone with an ex? Yes, I’ve done it before but the funny thing is, I no longer wanted those girls around by the time they became interested in me once again.

It works out that way sometimes, where you’ve grown as a person to the point that a girl you once were really into, no longer holds the same meaning in your life.

That’s why taking time apart can be so damn important. Emotional distress and everything that comes with it, can push you towards one outcome.

Acting on emotions, you could end up in a situation, you may not actually want for yourself in the long-term. It’s sort of a temporary state, where you can’t really make good decisions.

No Contact? Hell yeah, No Contact!

In order to extricate yourself from the friend zone, you must not allow yourself to get sucked deeper into it.

That’s an impossible task if you are constantly answering her phone calls and listening to her complain about her day. You cannot allow yourself to get dragged further down into the abyss and becoming an utterly neutral man in her eyes (i.e. she doesn’t feel that sexual attraction) because that will only increase the severity of the problem.

I’ve already discussed the No Contact Rule in length, here. As such, I’m not going to delve into it in this article. However, I will say that you will need to go roughly a month of no contact, so that you can even begin to start crawling out of the friend zone.

But…but…won’t she forget about me? Only if you’re forgettable. Besides, you cannot think like that, you have to be willing to lose a girl completely.

Even if that fact hurts to think about, as men, we have to cultivate the ability to walk away from situations because our disinterest can sometimes be the only way of preserving our respect.

When that high level physical and emotional interest (on her end) no longer exists like it did at the start of the relationship, one has to choose the most attractive path available.

For most guys, this means either some level of indifference, or being the lapdog who begs for her back. The first one is way more attractive, than the chick repellent that is desperate behavior.

make dem changes

What to do During No Contact?

What I would suggest doing during this No Contact period is taking a hyper-interest in yourself and your life.

Yes, self-development is the main thing that I would focus on. I cannot spend my time solely thinking about her, and how much I can’t wait for this period of time to end, so that I can send her a text message again.

This type of obsession seems to be common, especially among men, as we usually have a tougher time dealing with breakups and the emotions that follow.

We also, will usually develop strong feelings for women, if they happen to be the only option that is around. In this case, our ex-girlfriend was our main squeeze and when we lose her henceforth, it becomes almost a compulsion to get her back.

While I think it is a terrible idea to jump into a serious relationship right after you just got out of one. I think that it is a great idea to starting dating casually again, in order to gain clarity. (If you suck at getting girls, I’ve written two Kindle books on this subject: Game without Games and Online Dating for Men ) Going out with other girls does multiple things…

First, it allows you to viscerally understand that your ex is not the only girl out there who may be a decent match for you. Thus, her hold on you is lessened. It also might make it clear for you, that you don’t actually need to pursue your ex-girlfriend, anymore.

Secondly, it diffuses your interest among many girls instead of concentrating it on the one you don’t have.

Think about it, if you have 20 girls who you can text with and probably get to meet you out somewhere, are you really going to be as attached to the one who currently has you stuck in the friend zone? Probably not.

Thirdly, your value on the sexual market is raised. If many women want you or hang around you for dates, you are a much more desirable man in the eyes of every other woman (including your ex).

People’s perception becomes their reality. For example, if two identical men are at a crowded bar and one of them is standing alone while the other is surrounded by people, which one has more value?

The man with lots of friends and women, even though he is identical to the man that is standing alone. It is mere perception of value that changes the level of attractiveness.

What that means for your ex-girlfriend, is that if she’s noticing that your are getting along fine without her, the idea that she made a mistake might start creeping into her head. After all, these other women seem to be enjoying my ex, maybe I had something really good and let it get away.

Whether she starts thinking that or not, the idea is to sort of reset the conception she has of you in her mind. Start dating other girls during this no contact period and keep it going after contact has been established.

Other things that you can do in order to start raising your value is to change your physical appearance for the better, learn new skills, start new projects, find new social activities to engage in…really anything that alters the perception of who you are (and that you enjoy doing) will begin to dissolve her old perception of you and help to recast you in a new light.

Go hard. Really plan it out, as to how you’re going to improve your life, whether she’s around or not. It’s a winning move, because your life gets better, and a man with an awesome life is really attractive to women; even those who’ve dated you before.

What to Do Post-No Contact

Well, reestablish contact with her.

Remember though, that you cannot act like the same old guy by begging to have her come back to you and all the desperate attention seeking things of that nature.

Still have other girls lined up for dates. So, for instance, if you end up setting up a meeting with you ex on Wednesday, try having dates on Tuesday and Thursday (or other times during the week) so that your ex is just another girl in the rotation and not elevated above.

In my experience with getting out of the friend zone, I found that treating the failed relationship as completely done was the best course to follow.

Whatever emerged with my ex after the breakup was an entirely new edifice that we were constructing. This meant, I couldn’t give her the same type of priority treatment she had, when we were together.

I got back to her when I felt like it, I accepted offers to hang out at my convenience, I never broke my other plans just to go listen to her nonsense.

In essence, I reclaimed my sovereignty as a man, and the girl had to work her way back to the top of the depth chart if she wanted more of my time. Even then, the result was to keep it casual, and we never ‘got back together’ beyond hanging out and hooking up.

Relationships should only be carried out on your terms. If she continues to stick you in the friend zone when you have no interest in that, then you can completely sever ties with her.

Like I said, getting out of the friend zone doesn’t always work and there are going to be instances in which you cannot rekindle a romance. The good news is that, by the time you’ve figured out whether she might want you back, you may have already moved on to bigger and better things.

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Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Make My Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing Me

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There are of course a myriad of emotional standpoints one can find themselves starting from after someone breaks up with you. Some, go for the ‘I have to get my ex back at all costs‘ strategy. While others, seem to like to go with the ‘I’m going to make my ex-boyfriend regret letting me go’.

In either case, the best route to take may not be the one that immediately pops into your head while the emotions of the relationship are still fresh. With a clear head, one can recognize these types of ‘revenge’ actions as purely petty and egotistical.

After all, what do you really end up ‘winning’ when trying to get back at someone for having the audacity to leave you? The real answer when you set all of the BS aside, is nothing of importance.

In this post, I want to explore what I mean and how to move past this notion of wanting to make this guy regret losing you from his life.

Win ex back now

Why Do You Want Him to Feel Regret?

Ok, so you’ve allowed yourself to get to the point of researching of how to plot emotional revenge on someone, which means you’ve probably been thinking about this for at least some time.

Ask yourself, what is at the core of these types of feelings?

Because let’s be very clear about something, you are dealing in the world of feelings, and not of rational thought. Feelings can be a good guidepost for exploring what we want and what we don’t want in our lives.

However, feelings can also lead us astray and down paths which are ultimately pointless or self-destructive.

Feelings are just feelings. Feelings are not you. The fundamental mistake is identifying yourself based on feelings.

You are not anger, nor sadness, nor envy, nor any other temporary state of emotion.  Precisely because thoughts and feelings are temporary and always changing, they can never be who we truly are.

Are you the anger you felt once when you were six years old? Of course not. They can certainly hijack our lives but we don’t have to give them the power or follow them to whatever random place our thoughts and feelings wish to take us.

Instead, we can observe them, get to the source of where the are coming from, and then let them go. Releasing this attachment, which only serves as a weight which will drag us down.

Releasing the Negative

Let’s take a close look at this current emotional situation. Your current state is obviously aligned towards the negative. This has to be the case, if you are seeking revenge on someone, for no longer wishing to be in a voluntary relationship with you.

After all, where was the guarantee that this relationship was going to work out forever for the both of you?

So, you currently reside on a lower tier of emotion (negative) and you wish to use someone else’s pain, discomfort, and/or longing which you will manufacture, in order to catapult yourself to a higher tier (positive or at least the illusion of feeling better).

Instead of focusing on moving forward alone or attempting to reconcile things with him, you are planning on devoting your energy, to satisfying the narrative about your past relationship you have got going on in your mind?

Stop listening to the constant mental loop of thoughts and feelings that are telling you to get back at him and make him feel shitty about the break up.

This story you have running through your mind is poisonous to an enjoyable life. It is only strengthening your dependence, on people or things which are external to you, and which you cannot control.

If you do get the reaction that you desire, the ‘positive’ feelings will only be temporary. Plus, if you don’t succeed in making him react, in the manner you want, you will be dragged deeper into negativity.

For a moment, I would like for you to consider not focusing on how to make him feel bad about letting you go. Rather, try to gain mental clarity and focus on letting your attachment to this idea of  creating regret go.

People come and go out of our lives. Sometimes, it’s a simple change and other times it can be an ugly breakup when egos are seriously invested. Chasing after petty points and victories post-breakup are ultimately very hollow ‘wins’.

You’ve really only succeeded in possibly hurting someone you probably still care about on some level. You have given a boost to your own ego, instead of turning your attention inward, and making your own life better and more vibrant.

If he really is a terrible person and he is now no longer a part of your life, why would you want to change that? Leave things as they are and move forward.

His negativity, meanness, or bad actions don’t need to be matched by you. The relationship is over. Take any important lessons from it and follow your life’s path.

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Turn Your Focus on Betterment and Watch Others Perk Up Around You

The funny thing is that, people will tend to notice the positive changes you make within your life, and how you’ve changed as a person.

So, if you’re focusing on self improvement rather than simply trying to make your ex feel regret, he might naturally come to regret breaking up with you…simply because you’ve become such a great person with an awesome life.

I’ve seen this sort of thing in action first hand, with women, in my case. Back when I couldn’t get girlfriends, dates, sex, etc. I would think that I was simply not attractive to women and I’d never be able to interest them very much.

I was partly correct, I wasn’t attractive to women at that time. However, I could develop myself into the man I wanted to be and thereby attract women into the world I had created for myself.

This included reading books constantly, getting into better shape physically, learning to socialize, developing my personal philosophy, pursuing my passions, working on my ideal lifestyle, etc.

All of these things in totality, over the years has yielded a much greater ability to attract women and make them want to be a part of my life…just by being who I was and not having to ‘chase’ them.

Even women who turned me down, when I was without confidence or skill, took notice of the change and some even made themselves available to me.

The journey of life is ultimately about yourself and coming to terms with your existence in a world that can be flat out crazy and emotionally draining. It can however, also be beautiful, and gearing yourself up to pursue the beautiful in life has plenty of benefits.

One of which being, that people are naturally attracted to confidence and others who make their lives their own.

So, in a very real way, the key to make someone regret leaving you behind, is to not focus on making them feel regret. The key is to focus on yourself and creating your ideal life.

Let other people have their pettiness and emotional manipulations. You should rise above that, understand what they’re doing, and love them anyways. The revenge notion or getting the better of someone post-breakup is quite frankly a waste of time.

Don’t let yourself become controlled by these intense emotions but let yourself observe them arise and notice how they effect your thinking in a negative manner. Once you’ve done this, the grip these negative feelings have over you begin to weaken and you see them for how silly they truly are.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Why Won’t My Ex-Girlfriend Reply to My Text Messages?

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The modern communication abilities that we have thanks to technology have been absolutely great for guys in their dating lives. Texting and apps like Tinder have enabled us to avoid calling the old fashioned house phone and talk to as many available girls as we want.

However, it has also empowered those women, including our ex-girlfriends to ignore our text, Facebook, or other direct messages whenever it suits them.

Why would an ex ignore your texts and ultimately just not respond to them? Well, why one may be ignoring you specifically is a tough nut to crack without having the exact details and circumstances involved (and no I’m not Dr.Phil trying to solve all your woes).

BUT what I can do, is present some common reasons that your old girlfriend just isn’t going to talk to you.

My Ex Won’t Text Me Back…Some Possible Reasons Why

She’s Moved On

One thing you should know about women. When they’re done, they’re done (most of the time). Yes, you can have situations for a while where she isn’t exactly sure how to feel about you, she might still talk with you, or even sleep together.

At some point, though, that final frontier is crossed and she is ready to move on with her life. Now, this can mean that she wants to be alone without a partner for a while or that she is seeing other guys.

I know that it can hurt to thing about someone you were close with being with another, but it is a simple fact of life that we all must contend with from time to time.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

We do have to let go of people eventually and if there’s a good chance that she’s moved on, you should prepare to do the same. This means going about your life, making positive changes, working towards goals, and even dating other girls.

Now, things may change in the future and a reconciliation may eventually be possible but while we can hope for the best we must plan for the most likely outcome.

Moving on isn’t always a finality. I have had ex-girlfriends break up with me and want nothing to do with me, only to later feel the need to contact me again.

It’s a really weird phenomenon sometimes, like, you just need to let people go out and explore the world on their own…and the ideas they have in their heads, don’t work out as they thought. Then, they just start reaching out for anything familiar to them.

I had one girl that I dated, hit me up in successive years under the guise of both being ‘just friends’ and then also, trying to have a sexual relationship. I hadn’t spoken to her in years and had zero feelings toward her any longer. Crazy, but it happens a lot to people.

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You’ve Become a Creep

When some people get desperate to get their ex back, they start texting the girl way too much, becoming almost stalker like, or even becoming violent/angry towards them. The violent aspect doesn’t apply to most guys, but many guys do text their ex-girlfriends a lot and come off as needy and weak.

If this applies to you, back off. Going no contact, might not get an ex-girlfriend to come back. However, it isn’t going to make things worse. The situation needs to cool off and both parties need their space to live their lives.

Being the creepy or stalker-ish ex-boyfriend is a huge turnoff to women and it isn’t going to make her respond to whatever texts may come her way.

I’ve never successfully gotten a girl to come back, trying to go the texting and explaining route. However, I have gotten girlfriends to become interested in me again, after I went No Contact and stopped making myself appear desperate to have her back in my life.

Obsessiveness and desperation are major turn offs for people. Yes, she knows you well after dating for so long. But, that relationship is now severed and it becomes quite easy to push her further away while desperately trying to grasp her attention back to you.

Guys really need to chill with this shit.

She’s Up on a Pedestal…and You Put Her There

This is a offshoot of the last point. Texting a girl a lot and becoming really emotional about her is quite repulsive to women. Don’t treat her as if she is some sort of perfect angel and that your life is over without her (it isn’t).

Why would she respond favorably towards a guy she knows she has some control over and can get him back any time she pleases? Where’s the challenge? Where’s the equality in the relationship?

Essentially, you make yourself less attractive as a man because you’ve ceded your masculinity and everything that she probably used to find attractive.

Don’t beg. Don’t be a lapdog. Use this time period as an opportunity to improve your life, regardless if she ever comes back or not. Chicks come and go BUT the one constant in your life is YOU.

Which guy would she be more likely to go back to?

The guy who texts and pretty much obsesses over her or the guy who is out doing positive things with his life and seeing other women? The answer is the latter.

The post-breakup period is a trying time emotionally, I get it, I’ve been there.

The problem is, when we’re hyped up in these insanely emotional states, we do dumb things that we believe will ‘solve our problems’ but really just destroy our chances of resolving anything.

One of the dumb things we do, is to go into begging and pleading mode. Or better yet, the complete idealization of her and the relationship, but if everything was so perfect…it wouldn’t have failed.

A man has to maintain his cool throughout this process, whether the outcome is what you want, or one that doesn’t work out in your favor. Again, time and the right plan, can often flip situations for the better. You just can’t mess things up in the meantime.

She’s Just Pissed Off at You

Sometimes, it isn’t a big thing where she’s moved on or she’s lost interest in you. It might just be a temporary situation, where she’s completely pissed off at you and needs more time to cool off before she’s ready to talk to you.

This one isn’t such a big deal usually, unless you did something really terrible like cheat on her…then yeah, you might be fucked. There can be lots of little reasons she might not want to respond to anything you say at the moment. This is just a storm you’ve got to ride out.

Emotional states change and the thought patterns that make someone be really mad, eventually pass, and they can think rationally once again. Time apart allows cooler heads to prevail and give someone clarity about what they want and don’t want in their lives.

That clarity might make a woman realize, that the relationship she just ended is the best option for her in life, and that the anger she felt wasn’t really anything major.

Just like you might currently be in a volatile emotional state, she probably is as well. There’s a huge flux in people’s moods following a breakup, so, what she might be mad about now perhaps won’t bother her next month.

Personally, I’d rather have a woman be mad at me, than not caring at all. At least, I know she feels something, and still has an attachment. Even if, it is currently a negative view toward me.

What Can You Do When She Won’t Reply to Your Messages?

Really, the best moves you can make are to:

1. Not send any more messages, see the no contact rule post

2. Prepare to move on, even if she comes back.

3. Try to re-contact again, at a later date.

The first aspect gives her space and allows you to stop coming off as really desperate and unattractive. While the second, makes it easier to move past the breakup if it is indeed a permanent thing and it very well might be.

Then, when things have settled down a bit, maybe a month or so from now. You can try to open up the lines of communication again. This is only if, you’ve really put thought into things and still want to try to get back together with her.

A lot of times, once you’ve had time apart and gotten your head clear, you find out that you don’t actually want to be with the ex. You figure out that most of what you were feeling was an almost addictive quality, because you were so used to being together, that a break up shocked your system.

Of course, your own situation will vary but as far as a general point of view that about does it. There are some many variables and reasons why she may not be responding but the only one who knows for sure is her.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex at some point. She’s not currently responding to your texts, but at some point, she very well could.  Of course, we still have to give things time, and let the situation settle down but texting can be an amazing weapon to give things another try.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back” program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of television shows, to discuss his methods at repairing broken relationships.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back when He has a New Girlfriend

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As a straight male, I’ve never actually had to get my ex-boyfriend back from another girl (full disclosure :p). However, as a man I feel that I can offer a different perspective on the end of your relationship and whether or not you can start anew with him, even if he has a new girlfriend.

Now, just to be upfront about things, for many women reading this: your relationship is most likely over for good and you should move on with your life. I know that sucks to hear in the middle of  emotional turmoil but it’s not the end of the world, it’s simply a change that needs to be dealt with.

Anyhow, let us get started and delve a little bit further into this topic.

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The First Thing I Ask You to Consider

The first and most paramount step that I recommend that anyone take before pursuing getting back together with their ex is to truly analyze things and figure out if that is truly what you want. You might be thinking, Of course that’s what I want, that’s how I ended up on this website! 

Believe me, I completely understand the raw emotion and hurt that comes along with a breakup or seeing your significant other with someone else. It feels terrible and it isn’t a very pleasant experience, however, it is one which we almost all will have to face in life.

As such, it is important to learn how to get through it and learn to grow from this change.

Emotion obviously clouds good judgment. Most people won’t react to everyday problems with nearly the same intensity as that of a break up and this is entirely based on the amount of emotions and attachment that is involved.

This is why a long period of no contact is so important after a relationship ends because it allows both parties to have space apart and avoid the strong emotional triggers. Plus, with time emotional attachments tend to weaken.

With that being said, while you’re in an emotional state of mind, you will of course feel like you want your ex-boyfriend back even if a rational assessment of the situation would reveal that it is best just to forget about him.

After all, the relationship ended for a reason (probably multiple reasons), which means that it fundamentally had some problems.

What were those problems? Would getting back together solve them? Can they be solved? The relationship would be different than it had been before, will there be lingering resentments, is the spark gone, would this even work long-term?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

See…these are the types of things that need to be thought through before even considering getting back into a relationship with that person.

Take off the rose colored glasses and look at the relationship as it was and not as an idealized version of itself. Look at your flaws as well as his flaws and take your time, with as few emotions interfering as possible…take your time, as this step is very important.

This is an assessment into your life and what you want going forward. Not just about who you date, but what you want to do in your career, or even how you want to spend the next immediate few months.

Is he actually worth it? Does he fit actually fit into your vision for the future or is it habit and loneliness, that has you chasing him? People often figure out after some time apart from their exes, that they’ve grown as a person, and no longer need that same relationship.

It’s happened to me, multiple times. For months, I’d feel like I wanted to get one of my ex-girlfriends back. Then, with time, I would realize that they weren’t a good fit for me and my future. Maybe they were great for the old version of me, but with where I wanted to go and who I was becoming, they no longer meshed.

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A Quick Insight into the Mindset of Men (In general, specific circumstances may vary)

Despite some insinuations to the contrary, men and women are different. That is, our thoughts and natural desires in terms of the male and female interaction (mating, dating, whatever you want to call it), are not the same nor is our approach. I

t’s sometimes said that men are not capable of love…this is not true at all, in fact, we can fall ‘in love’ very quickly with a woman who piques our interest. This is often a detriment for many guys who:

  • Fall in love with a girl first and then she loses interest
  • Guys who are inexperienced or don’t have options, in terms of women to choose from

This becomes a problem in our dating life, because we meet women who are only a pretty good fit for us. Then, we don’t have any other girls around to offset those emotions, that this ‘pretty good match’ stirs up in us.

We can end up ‘catching feelings’ and find ourselves in a bad relationship. All of this, stems from our lack of experience with relationship dynamics, and our abilities to handle complex emotions….it’s not our skill set.


A man’s attraction skill set (the one he’s supposed to develop) is all based on the short-term. We, for the most part, don’t go out looking for relationships but end up finding ourselves in one later and wondering what happened?

This skill set we’ve had to develop in our life, consists of how we walk, talk, act, dress, look, speak to you, what we do for a living, our values, social standing, etc. All of these are variables which go into attracting women to us and getting them to want to have sex with us. I can hear the accusatory voices rising:

See, all men want is sex?

Well, to paraphrase the great comedian Patrice O’Neal…sex is all I want, if that’s all you’ve got!

Our skill set, is how we build our lives in totality. Everything that we are and can demonstrate, are short-term tools to attract many women to us. It’s completely short-term and gets us lots of options to choose from when done well.

Women, in the short-term, don’t need to have this skill set in order to attract guys. The fact that you look attractive, attracts us…we don’t particularly care too much about all the other qualities about you at first. It’s just that one superficial aspect (again this is a generalization, obviously specific circumstances may vary).

What this means though, is that women’s true attractive skill set, becomes a factor later in the relationship. For a woman to keep us in a long-term relationship, she has to be better than our other options.

A man usually wants to get with (at least on biological/sexual level), pretty much any attractive girl that crosses his path….it really is like that for us and has been for most of our lives. Our inclination is to have multiple women around.

However, the right woman with that long-term attractive skill set can make us stay around and stay faithful, if she’s that good. Note: some guys, again, simply have no options…it takes nothing for a girl to keep them around because they’re desperate, which only serves to make them even more unattractive to women. So a girl being better than his options, means nothing if he has no options.

Yes, but what does this all mean?

I wanted to bring all of this up because I need to explain a bit of what our mindset is after we are broken up from our girlfriends. Again, this is dependent on the man’s skill set (his ability to attract women).

Guys who can attract women easily, will go out and do so post-breakup, while guys who cannot are usually the one’s who sit around and pine over their ex for many months or years. Let us focus on the guys who can attract women and what happens post-breakup.

After guys get out of a relationship, it is just as bad as it is for women. In fact, I think that it can be worse for us initially because it usually catches us unprepared.

For some period of time after that, we are sad about things and tend to miss our ex a lot, as the post-breakup period can be like coming off of an addiction. We get so used to having someone around, who is so very close to us. Someone who we’ve spent a lot of time with, that a void develops in our existence after a relationship ends.

How long that period goes on depends on the guy, the length of the relationship, the intensity, etc. However, when that time period of feeling bad has passed, we begin the process of moving on.

For us, a part of moving on generally means getting more girls in our lives. Sometimes, we go on a spree, and have 5+ girls on call whenever we want to see them to ‘help’ to forget about our ex.

After months, this circle of girls can be reduced down to one girl. This one girl is most likely the ‘new girlfriend’ that your ex is currently seeing.

Now, the key thing to recognize is that, this relationship may or may not mean anything. Sometimes, it just helps to have some kind of relationship to help you get through the loneliness, even if it doesn’t end up being serious.

In other cases, he might end up with a woman, that he already knew prior to the breakup. In this case, she was his best option available, and he went with it.

This can often be a rebound relationship, as if we can get a woman easily to help distract from the post-breakup emotions, we will. It may be serious, but I’d say, it is more unlikely to be all that serious.

How Can You Tell if It’s Serious?

The main indicators of a serious relationship for a guy are the length of time involved and whether or not he is showing interest in other girls (including you).

When we get involved with a girl there is usually a process of us having to cut out the other girls we were seeing or talking to in order to make our new girl not feel slighted. Check out this post for signs to look out for if your ex is still interested.

If it has also been several months that he and his new girlfriend have been together, then, odds are it is probably pretty serious. Which means for you, that reconciliation most likely isn’t going to happen (in the immediate term), and you need to begin the process of letting them go (even if there’s still a chance, prepare for the most likely outcome).

Another sign to look for is, how long after the break up, did he get involved with this new woman? There are other variables to consider, but generally, if he gets into another relationship within a month or so…it’s probably not that serious. It can be, but it is most likely just a rebound relationship.

A guy being in a rebound relationship, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Once the immediate excitement of being with someone new wears off, comparisons set in, and we see how she stacks up versus other women we dated. If she is a step back in his mind from what you provided, that rebound relationship, will in all likelihood be on the way out.

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How Can I Make Him Miss Me, if He Has a New Girlfriend?

A lot of times, it will boil down to simply being the better option. This of course assumes, that there is still a part of him, who would be open to reconciliation.

For some, that won’t be the case, as some guys do simply decide to move on for good. They’ve decided and won’t change their minds.

However, for most folks, they don’t treat things as being 100% over. After all, think of how many people, get together and then break up with their exes…time and time again.

If it still is a possibility, you have to ask yourself, what he is coming back for? If the relationship broke, as it was constructed, why would the same thing interest him?

What are the improvements which can be made? How would you make yourself the best option for him to date? Is that work even worth it to you, to attempt to get him back?

What To Do Post-Breakup

I would follow the same steps post-breakup whether I wanted to pursue my ex or not. Regardless, of outcome I would go no contact with them for at least a month before even attempting to do anything.

In the rest of my life, I would work on improving myself in a multitude of ways: appearance, health, get new hobbies, financially, meet new people, learn new things, work on my emotional health, fix my flaws that contributed to the end of the relationship, and whatever else I needed to work on.

Remember, he has to see you as better than his options, in order to want to be with you. Unless you had a complete falling out with one another, you probably still have a ton of currency with him and a place in his heart…working on improving you, increases your odds (but still guarantees nothing).

The reason for this is to fall back and regroup emotionally. It is also to give your ex-boyfriend space with his new girlfriend and not see you as being desperate by constantly calling him or texting him.

Don’t ever take shots or be jealous towards his new girlfriend, as that is a huge turnoff for guys and will make him resent you and will NOT make him want to take you back.

I know it can be difficult to control the urge to speak to him or to compare yourself to the new girl, but you have to keep things calm and those wild emotions in check. These sorts of outbursts and attacks DO NOT HELP AT ALL. They harm your odds by making you appear petty, desperate, and unattractive. All bad things, when you want to catch a man’s attention, in a positive way.

Yes, the first step to take is to ‘forget’ about him and his new chick for the time being and focus completely on yourself and your well-being. You don’t have to forget about him in actuality just don’t contact him, don’t accept his calls or respond to his texts, if you see him in person be brief and cordial and don’t beg for him to come back.

This period of time needs to be about you and healing yourself so that you can decide rationally what you want for your future. At the end of it, you might very well realize that he isn’t in your future plans and you can feel good about your decision to move on from that relationship.

Once that period of no contact is over you can make the decision to want to try and get him back….

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! :D Thank you Michael !!!

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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