There are occasions in which a break up happens and one party is quickly onto someone else while the person they were formerly dating is blindsided and still stuck in a confused state. How did this happen? How can my ex-boyfriend move on so quickly to another woman? Well, there are multiple variations of what your ex can be involved in of course…the rebound relationship (short or long-term), hook-ups with random girls, or something that more resembles a fling with one lady in particular.
Naturally, regardless of the type of relationship that he is engaged in, it can still feel awful seeing someone you were up until recently so close with, off with someone else. How could your ex-boyfriend get together with someone so fast? How is he moving past the breakup with such rapidity, while you may still be hurting? What does it mean?
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There is a common strategy for men to get over their ex-girlfriend and it involves seeing other women. Now, this could be multiple short-term hookups in order to help forget the void in their lives, left by the end of the relationship. On the other hand, a man can also at times make a lateral move right into another long-term relationship.
In the first case, it usually isn’t serious nor is it something they will probably be pursuing for very long. Sure, having multiple women may be fun for a while, but it can get old really fast. It’s much less about anything those women actually offer and more about helping to heal the void felt. Essentially, trying to move on from commitment by indulging in a complete lack of it.
In this latter case, there is a high chance that he already knew and had already explored making this move into being with this other girl. She might have been someone he had met and liked while the relationship was still in tact, but kept around in case things went south.
In some cases, it might have been a woman he met around the time that he was considering a break up, and she just made the transition that much easier for him to deal with.
So while it seems like a quick move after a breakup, it might have been building for months, and so when the break does happen…it’s easy to slide right over to the other person. I do think that this scenario is more common with women, as they can attract men much easier, than the reverse; but it still does happen.
Sometimes, this type of relationship is serious, and sometimes the other woman acts sort of like an aid to help stave off feelings of loneliness. There is almost always a great void left behind in the aftermath of a breakup and different people will find different ways to try to cope with that.
It may be in the arms of someone else or going out and trying to hookup with a bunch of women to take the focus off of the one that was just lost. It can often have much less to do with you, than them just trying to get their head straightened out.
Consider Moving On
In the immediate aftermath of a breakup and seeing an ex move on to someone else, the shock and emotional pain, can have us solely focusing on him.
However, it is during this period of time, when we need to shift the attention solely to ourselves, and our well-being.
Begin to think about what you would honestly want to change about this situation. If you could snap your fingers and have him back, would you even want to?
I mean, would it actually be something desirable or just a temporary fix for the emotional tumult you currently feel? Obviously, the relationship had problems, what would be fixed? How serious would things be long-term, if he moved on with someone else, this quickly?
While break ups hurt, they aren’t necessarily a bad thing at all. They can help us move forward from one stage of our lives to another. One person can be a great fit at one time, but a few years later, and it just no longer works. We grow apart, people end up wanting different things from life, etc.
These transitions aren’t pleasant, but once we work on letting go of the past and gain clarity about what we do want, we can realize a blessing in disguise.
I’ve had this very scenario happen to me once when I was younger. A girl that I was seeing, almost immediately got together with another guy, and it turned out to be a serious long-term relationship.
Now, at the time, this made me feel miserable. However, once the months had started to pass, I gained more clarity about things. Once the years, had passed, it no longer effected me. Heck, I was glad that it happened, because the relationship had a bunch of issues, which I had ignored.
Had we stayed together, it would’ve been a disaster, at some point. I would have been even more unhappy and be in a completely different space in my life. Probably, a worse one. For these sorts of reasons, we have to make sure to take care of ourselves in the short-term during this emotional storm, until it passes and we know things worked out.
Is It Serious?
Perhaps but then again, the rebound relationship might not be serious at all. It could just be a temporary ‘fix’ to help cope with a major change in one’s life.
If he is seeing multiple women, then of course he isn’t serious about any one girl. However, he might be ‘serious’ about making that his new lifestyle, having multiple women around at any given time. Most of the time, it will be a short-lived phase, but some guys go all in on this type of thing.
In that case, he might want to explore that route for a while and not even be open to anything serious with any other girl. He is in no rush to be in a committed relationship and so will resist any overtures towards that.
If he is involved with one girl, it can be serious. It depends on many factors, such as how long that they have been together and how long your relationship with him was.
However, being together with one girl only isn’t necessarily an indicator of seriousness either. He might not have any other options to date or he might not like being with multiple women at once. Again, it varies from person to person but taking a wait and see approach can help you to figure out what the deal is exactly.
On your end, the key is to not let this ‘moving on’ by the other person, take hold of your life. Learn to cope, grow, and deal with the breakup in a healthy manner. Don’t get dragged down or become despondent just because he is seeing other people. Here is an article to help with that: How to Move on From an Ex