There are numerous variants of how exactly a relationship can end. Sometimes it’s proactive, sometimes it’s due to a single event, and sometimes it just gradually falls apart. One of the more regularly occurring ways a break up happens, is that the man dumps his girlfriend. Giving either no excuse or reasoning, and/or some lame reason, that doesn’t sound very believable.
When your now ex-boyfriend leaves you, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, and can indeed hurt like hell for a long time. Even with all of this emotional tumult, there can still be that thought that creeps into your mind about getting back together with him.
Then another question arises, “Can I even get him back, if he broke up with me?”
Well, yes, at least in some cases. However, there are even more questions that need to be answered before pursuing such a project. Such as, is it really what I want or is it even likely to succeed in my individual case?
In this post, I want to go a little bit deeper into this topic and what needs to be considered when trying to get back an ex-boyfriend who dumped you.
Getting One’s Mind Clear
In my eyes, the first step of trying to reconcile with someone after a break up is to truly decide that it is something worth pursuing.
Listen, it’s not always an easy process to get back together with an ex-boyfriend, and it can definitely take some time to pull off.
As such, one has to be sure that this is truly what they want in their lives, and not just act out of the pure raw emotion that stems from a break up.
There is a lot of pain and loneliness that comes along after a relationship ends. A lot of it has to do with the addictive qualities of love and companionship.
It hurts because one expects that person to be around, we’ve conditioned ourselves for it, and when it doesn’t happen…it doesn’t feel good.
The thing of it is, this feeling can still be found within you, even if you weren’t 100% compatible with someone. I’ve gotten dumped by girls before, been completely torn up about it for months, only to later on realize how truly lucky I was to get out of that relationship.
None of those ladies would’ve been the right fit for me on a long-term basis. BUT it still hurt really bad when it happened.
That’s one of the reasons that the No Contact Rule after a break up is so effective and important, it provides clarity.
With enough time apart, the emotions can subside, to the point where you can make a rational choice about what exactly it is you want in your life. Sometimes, you find out that he isn’t it and other times you can figure out that reconciliation is something that is worth attempting.
Take the time for yourself and truly analyze what it is that you want from your life. What direction would you like to take it? What kind of relationship, do you want at this point in time? Do you even want a relationship at all?
Things to Ponder About the Relationship
What were some of the causes that ended the relationship? How did things end up going from complete romance to utter failure? Since he initiated it, you might not know his exact reasoning, but you can surely think about some potential flaws or problems that the relationship had.
Did you cheat on him? In that scenario, for instance, it is obviously going to be more difficult to lure him back than if no infidelity took place. If you did cheat, ask yourself, why? Were you bored or dissatisfied with him? With your life? Or do you actually want to explore other options. Be honest with yourself and don’t judge your conclusions so harshly.
Was the end of the relationship caused by him cheating or the presence of another woman? In that case, the best course of action is to move on with your life, and not try to repair things with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be involved all that much in the confines of that previous relationship.
The amount of time that has passed since the end of the relationship is also a factor. If he broke up with you many months ago or even over a year ago, it’s probably time to let it go. Now, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to fix things eventually…just a lot less likely.
Then, there is the question of what type of relationship it was and how serious did it get? Of course the odds of reconciliation are going to be effected by the individual person who is being dealt with but also something like age can also be a factor.
For instance, someone reading this who is coming off of a high school or college break up, is generally going to be in a much different place than an older person, who may have been involved in marriage talk.
Go No Contact
The No Contact period can be an important step to take during this process. Not only does it give you the time to think properly about what you want and to heal. It also, creates a certain distance, to where you aren’t texting or begging the ex to come back.
You don’t want to get caught in a spot, where you cannot control yourself and, you just pester him about getting back together. It’s ultimately an unattractive quality, and the point is, to re-attract the ex.
This time apart also gives him the ability to be clear about what he wants moving forward, without any interference. Think about it. If one keeps talking to their ex-boyfriend, he never has time to miss you, but he does have plenty of time to be annoyed.
The No Contact Rule is usually in effect for 30-45 days. However, it can go as short as three weeks, to as long as two full months. This is usually sufficient enough to make progress towards finding out, whether or not, a relationship will be salvageable.
This period of time should be used to heal emotionally, improve yourself, your life, and to consider how to fix the issues that caused the relationship to fail. Again, one may discover that, it cannot be fixed. That’s fine, most relationships, are not meant to be in the long-term.
After at least, 3-4 weeks of No Contact. The opportunities to begin to talk to an ex again, will begin to arise. In some cases, the boyfriend, may reach out first. Yes, even when he was the one who initiated the break up.
On your end, you’ve had plenty of time to reconsider, whether or not, you actually want to try to get back together. Or if you’re better served, by moving on entirely from this broken relationship.
Of course, not all of the problems of the relationship are solved, at this point. But there has been enough time apart, to cool down, and think fairly clearly about the future prospects.
If you’re still in the mindset, that reconciliation is the goal. You can then, reach out to the ex-boyfriend, to feel out whether it is a possibility or not.
What’s the first move?
To re-establish contact with an ex, the best opening move has to include the right form of communication. Not just having the best message or line. Phone calls and face to face meetings can be really hard to pull off, especially if the other person doesn’t want to talk.
Luckily, text messaging exists nowadays. This is an advantage, because it takes so much pressure off of things, and is a pretty passive form of communication. Which means, it’s way less intrusive and annoying. We want to gently work our way back into a dialogue, with the ex, in order to move things forward.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explains some very basic things not to text your ex and provides a simple roadmap, of this program’s process. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: