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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back if She Broke Up with You

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There are a ton of variations of how and why relationships end. One of the most common ones, is a man’s girlfriend dumps him and doesn’t give a reason or maybe just not a very believable one. Having your woman leave you is a tough L to take, it’s just one of those losses that stings for a while no matter what you try to do to remedy the hurt.

However, even in the midst of that emotional pain, there is still that raw and gnawing feeling that you want her back in your life. The question is, can you get an ex-girlfriend back, if she is the one who initiated the end of the relationship?

Yes. Yes, you can. The thing is, there are also important questions such as, if that is even a good idea or if it is likely to succeed?

In this post, I want to dig a little bit further into this topic and try to illuminate somethings one should consider when trying to reconnect with an ex after getting dumped.

Things can get complicated emotionally, so, it is important to take time to really consider how everything has played out and what you want your future to look like.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Achieving Total Clarity

So, the first and probably most important step in trying to get back an ex-girlfriend is to decide that you actually want to. No, I’m not talking about some hokey, “Law of Attraction” type of stuff.

What I mean, is to get out from under the cloud of emotion and bruised ego, and truly know that trying to restart things with her is the best decision for your life.

Let’s be honest, most of the hurt that comes along with many breakups is manufactured by the repetitive conditioning of your interactions with one another.

You’ve grown accustomed to this girl being there and when she isn’t, you are no longer receiving the positive emotional feedback, and as such it feels like something is missing.

This type of feeling will arise, whether you truly love the girl or just really liked her a lot, which is confusing because it can feel exactly the same in the short-term.

However, in the long-term clarity will arise. The feedback cycle is broken, and you can realize, that perhaps you didn’t feel as strongly towards her as you might have thought.

I think that all guys go through this type of thing. We trip out over girls and then later come to realize what an awful mistake staying with them would have been.

There are plenty of girls who I dated in my college-age years, who I was absolutely devastated by when they broke up with me.

BUT when I fast-forwarded a few months, I knew that I had dodged a bullet with some of them (being with for longer, getting married, accidentally knocking them up). It’s kind of crazy how much the mind can shift, with a bit of time, and normalcy.

If you’re a younger guy, please understand that this is going to have more of an effect on you, precisely because you have less experience. Relationships are still rather new in your life and there is a huge difference between high school/college and the more serious stuff that comes with age.

It’s like the difference between amateur and professional sports, there’s just a different level of seriousness and competition.

Clarity is an extremely hard thing to achieve when that other person is still involved in your life on some level. I usually want to go no contact for 30-60 days, so that I can take a step back a analyze the situation without being constantly triggered emotionally.

Don’t worry the ex-girlfriend isn’t going to forget about you in that short of time, unless you were a totally forgettable man.

Sometimes, an ex will move on within a short time frame. Though, even that doesn’t always preclude them from reaching out to contact, or even pursue some sort of reconciliation.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Are Some Things to Consider?

What ended the relationship? Think beyond just what she told you and dig to the roots of the problems. Did you cheat? If so, that adds a whole lot more complexity to this situation.

Also, if you did cheat, why did you do it? Were you bored, no longer attracted, want other chicks besides her (like not just fantasy but actively flirting and trying to pick them up)?

Yes, these all have an impact as to whether you should even want to try to get back together again. You might be chasing something that you feel emotionally guilty about, however, at your very core you may know that the relationship was on the way out anyways.

Did she cheat? My policy on this is to move on. Fuck dealing with unfaithful people, if she wants to screw around that is her prerogative. But it is also mine to say that, it violates the confines of our relationship, and she needs to move on.

How much time has elapsed? If it has been close to a year or more and nothing has changed, you either need a new approach or to get on with your love life. If she’s already been seeing other guys for a while and has moved into a more serious relationship with one of them, that’s another solid sign that it may be time to accept that it’s over.

What type of relationship was it? How serious did it get? A girl who is in high school or college, is most likely not ready to settle down for a very long term relationship (marriage), and will likely want to experience many new relationships or types of guys after she gets out of something semi-serious (long-term boyfriend).

However, if things did get very serious and she is either older or more mature, then there is a better chance that you could still be the right man for the job.

The breakup could have been caused by simple bad habits or a lack of direction/maturity on your part and she might be in the stage of life where she demands a man that meets all of her needs/qualifications.


What Are Some of Your Flaws and How Do You Improve Them?

I am a huge believer in self-improvement. Not just in terms of getting attention from women but also in every other aspect of my life. In my own personal experience, I can tell you that perception of reality is not always the same as reality itself, and it is also more powerful.

What I mean is, how you are perceived will have a greater impact than who you actually are in many given situations. For instance, the same guy walks into a bar, in one instance he is alone and in another he is with a group of women.

In which instance is he more attractive to any given female in the bar? When he is with the group of women, even though he is fundamentally the same person. The only change is in the perception of him and his value as a man.

Let’s be real, your girlfriend isn’t going to leave you if she still perceives you as a high value man.

Yes, you may be everything she wants EXCEPT you have anger issues that pushes her away (in that case , you lack of emotional control has collapsed your value as a man).

Or maybe you haven’t shown signs that you are serious about long-term commitment. Or you aren’t very much fun to be around more. You’re too controlling. Etc, etc.

If you and the relationship that you had with your ex had too many flaws, then of course she is going to start looking around at other guys and thinking that she can do better.

It isn’t always the case that she will want you back even if you do make yourself a better man because sometimes it’s just simply a lack of compatibility on a deep level. However, if there was true long-term compatibility, there may be certain things that drove her away…fixable things!

For instance, maybe you weren’t spending enough time together. Perhaps, you were too engaged in work, hanging out with your boys, playing video games, watching sports, or whatever…if this was a main cause of the break up, then this should be a main area of trying to improve yourself.

Step away from your diversions, minimize them, try to work on patterns of addictive behaviors. Make a list of areas of your life you need to improve in…from health, to wealth, to sexual skill, to confidence, communication, or any other potential factor.

Seriously, if you work on yourself and then don’t get this girl back, at least you’ve improved your odds at landing more ladies and finding one that is also a right fit for you. Keep in mind that there are ultimately billions of them on this planet, so if you can make yourself available and more desirable you can, land plenty more.

Conversely, she could have also been the source of many of the relationship’s problems. There are cases in which one person creates lots of issues and then initiates a break up anyway.

If this is the case for your, break up, ask yourself if it is actually worth it? Is getting back together with this woman, something that is good for the long haul, or simply a way to patch up the short-term emotional turmoil?

get better or this guy might take your girl

get better or this guy might take your girl

Taking the Time to Change

In order to show significant change and actually make changes to one’s life, there does need to be some time apart. A lot of guys will still currently be in ‘chase mode’, when trying to get back with his ex.

What this means is, he is still calling or texting or desperately begging to get back together…and it’s simply not working.

You cannot press a woman to want to get back together with you. She will begin to resent it and find a guy unattractive, when he displays such groveling characteristics.

Also, constantly being in contact or trying to fix things, doesn’t allow her the ability to think about what she actually wants. There are plenty of cases in which, the girl breaks up with her guy, and realizes that the single life can suck.

She realizes that she’s not meeting any ‘better men’ and her ex starts to look really great in comparison. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when things don’t work out, she might turn her attention back to you.

However, how can that happen, when he ex is constantly bothering her and displaying unattractive characteristics? Even if she finds out that being single isn’t great, it would still be more appealing than an ex, calling her constantly.

As such, utilizing the No Contact Rule, is a way to create enough space and work to better yourself for a potential reconciliation.

Taking a month or two apart, isn’t a bad thing. It allows both parties to fully consider what they want to do, experience life without the other person, and to improve themselves.

Getting clarity doesn’t just happen when you see the negatives of the relationship, it can also show you all of the positives, and why it should be fixed. When emotions calm down and reality sets in, people will tend to recognize that they actually had something great, and worth the work that it takes to make a relationship successful.

What’s the first move?

So, once a period of time apart has been taken, contact will need to be re-established if you still want to try and get back an ex.

However, by that time, you might have gained the clarity that you’d be better off moving on. That’s cool and can be the best decision for folks, in many cases. Not all relationships are worth trying to save, as they simply aren’t functional, at their core.

However, when one determines that it is worth at least attempting to salvage, there needs to be a strategy in place for making the effort. After a month or two of not talking and still being apart, getting back into contact, is of paramount concern.

One of the easiest and also most effective methods for doing so, is by use of text messaging. I mean, it is not only easy to do, but you can also take all of the time you need to craft a message and future response.

Plus, it takes the pressure off of the other person, who can respond whenever or if they feel like it. A call or face to face meeting can be brushed off, as too intrusive, but a text is both casual and weirdly intimate because folks have their phones nearly all of the time. It’s like a part of themselves.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:


Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

I Want My Ex Back…but He Doesn’t Want Me

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A break up has taken place, one party was either dumped or did the dumping, and now the former relationship is in complete disrepair. That’s fine, assuming both parties want to move on and go their own ways. But what happens when you want your ex-boyfriend back and he doesn’t feel the same way? How does one approach this situation? Can you make him want to come back into the fold?

Is That What You Want?

The absolute foundation of any pursuit of an ex has to begin with the questions of: Is this really what you want? Is it actually worth pursuing?

The loneliness and the harsh realities of life after a breakup, can often have people’s emotions reeling, and having them want to do anything in order to get back together with their ex and ‘fix’ what ails them.

It’s not always an easy process to get back together with an ex-boyfriend, and it can definitely take some time to pull off. As such, one has to be sure that this is truly what they want in their lives, and not just act out of the pure raw emotion that stems from a break up.

There can be an addictive aspect to relationships. One expects their former partner to be around because they have been for a long time and once they no longer around, it feels really bad. It’s an emptiness, a longing.


The thing of it is, this feeling can still be found within you, even if you weren’t 100% compatible with someone. I’ve gotten dumped by girls before, been completely torn up about it for months, only to later on realize how truly lucky I was to get out of that relationship.

None of those ladies would’ve been the right fit for me on a long-term basis. BUT it still hurt really bad when it happened.

That’s one of the reasons that the No Contact Rule after a break up is so effective and important, it provides clarity.

With enough time apart, the emotions can subside, to the point where you can make a rational choice about what exactly it is you want in your life. Sometimes, you find out that he isn’t it and other times you can figure out that reconciliation is something that is worth attempting.

Why Doesn’t He Want To Get Back Together?

Another factor to consider is why in particular doesn’t he want to be in a relationship. Was it something specific that took place that ended the relationship? Or is he just burned out or no longer ‘into’ you?

It can be a good idea to roughly consider what the odds are that the break up can be mended. Look for some of the more common signs that a relationship can be fixed or that a guy would consider coming back. If none are apparently present, than the odds of getting back together are substantially lower (not always impossible but lower).

What are some other indicators that lower the likelihood of fixing the broken relationship?

  • Cheating- especially if you were the one straying
  • Is he dating other girls? Is there one in particular?
  • There are other huge compatibility problems that stem from the relationship
  • He has shown no real interest in doing anything aside from moving on with his life.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ remedy for determining if a relationship is 100% salvageable. Sometimes, the odds seem long and the ex comes back.

Other times, it looks like a good shot, but they’re just ready to move forward alone. Take a look at your own situation and determine whether or not it’s likely and if you actually want to pursue attempting to heal the broken relationship.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Is it Even True?

Now, you should take someone at face value, if they verbally state that they ‘Don’t want you back’.

However, we also know from our lives, that people don’t always mean or stick to what they say.

Things can feel like they’re true, in the moment. But when emotions calm down, time elapses, and there is more reflection taking place…they see that they didn’t actually mean it.

If everyone actually stuck to what they meant about not wanting their partner back, there’d be a whole bunch fewer relationships, out there today.

There’s the heat of the moment. There’s reconsideration. People will say lots of things, that may or may not turn out to be accurate, in the longer run.

So, even if a guy says he doesn’t want his ex-girlfriend back, he could very well change his mind later on. Again, I’m not saying that this is the case, but it is well within the realm of possibility.

To Be Chased, One Has to Stop Chasing

One common mistake after a breakup that sooooo many people do, is being constantly trying to contact, be available, and begging their ex.

Guess what? If that worked, then literally everyone would be back with their exes. Yet, here we are with people still continually falling into the same trap.

The first step to turning things around is to go No Contact for a period of time, as mentioned above. This usually lasts for about 30 days. The purpose of following the No Contact rule is to allow the emotions to subside BUT also to get yourself to stop trying to hit an ex up all of the time.

It’s hard to make someone think that you’re desirable again, when they know that they can have you back at the drop of the dime. A certain level of scarcity makes things appear more valuable to the human mind and familiarity can have to opposite effect.

Won’t someone forget about you if you don’t remind them that you exist?

NO! I’ve gone no contact with exes and had them contact me weeks or months later…and these were girls who dumped me!

Why? Many times, life after a breakup doesn’t go so well, and down the line the realization that they may have lost something important in their lives, sets in. They can often think that the grass is greener but learn quickly this single life, ain’t always what you think it might be.


What’s he Coming Back To?

If a breakup took place, that means that the old relationship had problems. It can also mean in this scenario, that he’s no longer feeling you like he once was.

So, even if begging him today actually worked, what has changed? Meaning, how long until the reconciled relationship fell apart again? What’s different both in terms of the relationship itself and you as a person?

How are the problems going to be addressed?

What are some things that you need to work on?

Self-improvement can be a huge step in this process. Not only in case he does eventually want to come back but also for your life, if you decided that it’s time to move on.

This doesn’t mean that you have to change everything about yourself in order to appeal to him.

However, becoming an overall more well-rounded, stable, and attractive person can do wonders for how you are perceived by him (and other potential suitors).

I remember when I first got into really good shape and how more women took notice of me.  When that happened, other girls that weren’t interested also took notice (as well as an ex). I didn’t want that particular ex back, so, it went nowhere…but the spark was reignited.

Now, this of course was all a very superficial change, but it got attention. Sometimes, that’s all it takes, but I always like to improve every aspect in my life post-breakup.

What type of relationship does he even want? What are some of the changes that you could make about yourself or the way you interact with him, that’d be useful for the relationship?

Do you even want to make those changes? If not, it may be a good idea to move on.

Get down to the root issues of the relationship. What were the negative things that you contributed towards its demise? Are those things that can be changed? Even if you make the positive changes, would he fix his issues, as well?

What’s the first move?

When trying to get back with an ex, the line of communication, must be opened up at some point. Trying to call or meet in person, can be met with rejection, or annoyance on the ex-boyfriend’s part. However, texting does offer an alternative possibility.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: