Daily Archives: July 13, 2019

There are numerous variants of how exactly a relationship can end. Sometimes it’s proactive, sometimes it’s due to a single event, and sometimes it just gradually falls apart. One of the more regularly occurring ways a break up happens, is that the man dumps his girlfriend. Giving either no excuse or reasoning, and/or some lame reason, that doesn’t sound very believable.

When your now ex-boyfriend leaves you, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, and can indeed hurt like hell for a long time. Even with all of this emotional tumult, there can still be that thought that creeps into your mind about getting back together with him.

Then another question arises, “Can I even get him back, if he broke up with me?”

Well, yes, at least in some cases. However, there are even more questions that need to be answered before pursuing such a project. Such as, is it really what I want or is it even likely to succeed in my individual case?

In this post, I want to go a little bit deeper into this topic and what needs to be considered when trying to get back an ex-boyfriend who dumped you.

Getting One’s Mind Clear

In my eyes, the first step of trying to reconcile with someone after a break up is to truly decide that it is something worth pursuing.

Listen, it’s not always an easy process to get back together with an ex-boyfriend, and it can definitely take some time to pull off.

As such, one has to be sure that this is truly what they want in their lives, and not just act out of the pure raw emotion that stems from a break up.

There is a lot of pain and loneliness that comes along after a relationship ends. A lot of it has to do with the addictive qualities of love and companionship.

It hurts because one expects that person to be around, we’ve conditioned ourselves for it, and when it doesn’t happen…it doesn’t feel good.

The thing of it is, this feeling can still be found within you, even if you weren’t 100% compatible with someone. I’ve gotten dumped by girls before, been completely torn up about it for months, only to later on realize how truly lucky I was to get out of that relationship.

None of those ladies would’ve been the right fit for me on a long-term basis. BUT it still hurt really bad when it happened.

That’s one of the reasons that the No Contact Rule after a break up is so effective and important, it provides clarity.

With enough time apart, the emotions can subside, to the point where you can make a rational choice about what exactly it is you want in your life. Sometimes, you find out that he isn’t it and other times you can figure out that reconciliation is something that is worth attempting.

Take the time for yourself and truly analyze what it is that you want from your life. What direction would you like to take it? What kind of relationship, do you want at this point in time? Do you even want a relationship at all?

Things to Ponder About the Relationship

What were some of the causes that ended the relationship? How did things end up going from complete romance to utter failure? Since he initiated it, you might not know his exact reasoning, but you can surely think about some potential flaws or problems that the relationship had.

Did you cheat on him? In that scenario, for instance, it is obviously going to be more difficult to lure him back than if no infidelity took place. If you did cheat, ask yourself, why? Were you bored or dissatisfied with him? With your life? Or do you actually want to explore other options. Be honest with yourself and don’t judge your conclusions so harshly.

Was the end of the relationship caused by him cheating or the presence of another woman? In that case, the best course of action is to move on with your life, and not try to repair things with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be involved all that much in the confines of that previous relationship.

pondering alone

The amount of time that has passed since the end of the relationship is also a factor. If he broke up with you many months ago or even over a year ago, it’s probably time to let it go. Now, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to fix things eventually…just a lot less likely.

Then, there is the question of what type of relationship it was and how serious did it get? Of course the odds of reconciliation are going to be effected by the individual person who is being dealt with but also something like age can also be a factor.

For instance, someone reading this who is coming off of a high school or college break up, is generally going to be in a much different place than an older person, who may have been involved in marriage talk.

Go No Contact

The No Contact period can be an important step to take during this process. Not only does it give you the time to think properly about what you want and to heal. It also, creates a certain distance, to where you aren’t texting or begging the ex to come back.

You don’t want to get caught in a spot, where you cannot control yourself and, you just pester him about getting back together. It’s ultimately an unattractive quality, and the point is, to re-attract the ex.

This time apart also gives him the ability to be clear about what he wants moving forward, without any interference. Think about it. If one keeps talking to their ex-boyfriend, he never has time to miss you, but he does have plenty of time to be annoyed.

The No Contact Rule is usually in effect for 30-45 days. However, it can go as short as three weeks, to as long as two full months. This is usually sufficient enough to make progress towards finding out, whether or not, a relationship will be salvageable.

This period of time should be used to heal emotionally, improve yourself, your life, and to consider how to fix the issues that caused the relationship to fail. Again, one may discover that, it cannot be fixed. That’s fine, most relationships, are not meant to be in the long-term.

Re-Establish Communication

After at least, 3-4 weeks of No Contact. The opportunities to begin to talk to an ex again, will begin to arise. In some cases, the boyfriend, may reach out first. Yes, even when he was the one who initiated the break up.

On your end, you’ve had plenty of time to reconsider, whether or not, you actually want to try to get back together. Or if you’re better served, by moving on entirely from this broken relationship.

Of course, not all of the problems of the relationship are solved, at this point. But there has been enough time apart, to cool down, and think fairly clearly about the future prospects.

If you’re still in the mindset, that reconciliation is the goal. You can then, reach out to the ex-boyfriend, to feel out whether it is a possibility or not.

What’s the first move?

To re-establish contact with an ex, the best opening move has to include the right form of communication. Not just having the best message or line. Phone calls and face to face meetings can be really hard to pull off, especially if the other person doesn’t want to talk.

Luckily, text messaging exists nowadays. This is an advantage, because it takes so much pressure off of things, and is a pretty passive form of communication. Which means, it’s way less intrusive and annoying. We want to gently work our way back into a dialogue, with the ex, in order to move things forward.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explains some very basic things not to text your ex and provides a simple roadmap, of this program’s process. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

The break up happened and after some amount of time an idea will start to creep into one’s mind saying, “Can we get back together with him?” The hamster wheel begins spinning furiously. It’s trying to figure out, if the chances of getting an ex-boyfriend back, are still good or if they are seemingly beyond any hope.

When looking into this sort of thing, understand that there is no exact way to truly measure the odds of successfully fixing a broken relationship. There are too many variables at play in each person’s unique circumstance. However, there are certain signs which point more strongly to one direction versus the other.

With that in mind, I thought that I’d go over some of the considerations that should be looked at, which can give an indication of how good one’s odds of getting an ex-boyfriend back are. Again, nothing is a 100% certainty but there are repetitive themes within human relationships, that can improve or ruin these chances.

Who Started It?

Which person in the relationship, ended the relationship? If you did and are now beginning to regret the decision, your odds will be better in most cases.

It is easier to get someone back after you break up with them, as they often weren’t expecting it, and probably didn’t want the relationship to be over. Now, that’s not always the case, especially if there was something about the break up that particularly devastated them.

If he was the one who initiated the break up, it’s a much tougher hill to climb because his motives for doing so will come into play. Maybe he wasn’t ready to be serious or wants to go in another direction with his life.

Those sorts of things can completely throw off reconciliation plans and can be tough to navigate. Though, I believe that women usually have an exit strategy in place when they break up (in terms of having other guys available to them) than do men when the dump somebody.

If it was a mutual decision, then, it’s kind of muddy and could go either way with about equal odds. Again, it will all depend on the unique variables of your relationship.

While this can be a big piece of the puzzle, it isn’t the end all, be all. Lots of break ups can happen on an impulse. So, he might have dumped you, and then later realized he made a mistake.

Plus, people can just change their minds, once they’ve experience what life and that dating world is like post-breakup. Then, it becomes clear what they’ve given up.

How Long was the Relationship?

Time spent within a relationship can have a huge effect, as to whether or not someone is willing to move on.

Dating for a few months, it’s a lot easier to cut ties with someone.

Dating for years? That’s a tough one to get past. Even when you’re mad, at the other person, it’s still a situation nobody wants to leave frivolously.

So, the longer the relationship lasted, usually the better odds that someone has at a reconciliation. Those emotional bonds are too strong.

However, there still are the cases in which, the ex-boyfriend is just so completely tired of dealing with the woman and relationship. Everyone has a breaking point, or at least where they no longer see a future, with their current partner.

What Did He Want?

One common cause of break ups is differing relationship goals. A person may not currently be on the same page as their partner in terms of what they want from their dating life.

He may want to play the field, while you may want to be in a committed relationship, that has a path forward into the future.

There are also times when there is great confusion as to what he wants. He may like aspects of the relationship but may be feeling drawn elsewhere. Ultimately, if the man doesn’t feel that his ex-girlfriend fits into his plans, it is much more difficult to convince him otherwise.

There is also the reverse situation, where he wanted to be committed, and you were the one full of uncertainty. In this scenario, it is much easier to get back together, as you’d just have to be willing to get serious about things.

However, I would still say that you’d really make sure that is what you actually want and not just string him along, while still wanting to live the life of a single woman. Don’t force a major change into your life, just because you currently feel bad.

His own internal inclinations, as to what he wants from his life currently and from his dating life in particular, will go a long way to determining the odds of reconciliation.

This one can be a bit hard to figure out at times, as some guys won’t always express what they want, or even know exactly themselves.

What Were The Underlying Causes?

Some relationships merely need minor fixes in order to function well again. Others, are completely broken on a very fundamental level. Trust may be non-existent, fighting may be all too often, and the sight of the other person may be too much for one party to handle.

The causes of the break up can have a huge impact on the odds. For instance, if you were caught cheating or severely abusing his trust, then it is going to be remarkably hard to regain his trust to the level that it needs to be within a relationship.

In most of those cases, the best decision is probably to move on, work out your personal issues, and give a go at a relationship with someone else down the line.

If it was something such as fighting or arguing all of the time. Ask yourself, how is this issue going to be solved if a new relationship is formed with one another? Things won’t just magically be better the second time around, the old relationship’s problems need to be addressed.

Relationship Status

Are you seeing any one else now? Is he? How serious are either of your dating lives? Now, if the break up was really recent, this might not be an issue. However, if the break up occurred months ago, than it almost certainly is a factor.

The longer the time apart and the more the other person has started dating or being involved in exclusive types of relationships…the longer the odds will be that he will get back together. People tend to grow apart with time and the conditions that once made the relationship work out well are no longer there.

Did You Burn Bridges?

While it is common for people to be angry at one another, after a break up. There are things that some folks do, that goes way above and beyond, just being a bit mean.

If you did or said anything particularly egregious towards him, since you’ve broken up, that can also be a big negative.

Communications

What is the current level of communication? Are you guys still talking a lot or is it completely shut off? Has he blocked you on social media?

If he is still speaking with you, that obviously means that things aren’t so terrible between the two of you, as to make it an extraordinary effort to get back together. The more receptive he is, the better the odds.

Now, there are cases such as having children together, that requires him to talk to you…that level of communication doesn’t entirely count in this aspect. Also, sometimes he still wants to remain friendly but has no interest in fixing the relationship.

If he is texting or talking to you a lot, especially when there doesn’t seem to be a real necessity for him to do so, the better the odds that things can be salvaged.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

There are plenty of other signs that will be unique to your relationship and the variables that are set within it. Keep in mind that while generally, the number of positive signs you identify for reconciliation will improve the odds of getting back together, there is still no guarantee that he can be one back.

He is still an individual with his own desires, thoughts, and feelings…which means that he can take his life in whatever direction he chooses, with or without the former relationship intact.