So, you’re ex-girlfriend has blocked you on Facebook, eh? That sounds so odd, to someone like me, who was on Facebook way back when it was only available for students at certain universities and it was still some weird thing which you added ‘friends’ to and had a ‘wall’ for posting messages. So, I guess nowadays being blocked on a social media platform is a big deal, especially when that person happens to be your old girlfriend. OK then, I suppose we will have to approach this issue on several fronts and get down to the nitty gritty of you particular situation. I’m going to try to generalize this post to fit the array of social media apps, sites, and whatnot…so this will apply to whether or not you’ve been blocked on AOL Instant Messenger (that’s still around, right?) or Snapchat (I have no idea what this is) or Instagram (yay half naked models!) or the experience known as Facebook. Let’s get started.
Determine if this is a Big Deal
I generally like to take a different approach to breakups, in that, I generally believe them to be useful and that it really isn’t a great idea for most people to get back together. Why is this? Losing a relationship puts people in a intensely emotional head space, which can allow them to make bad decisions in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is a bad decision (like getting back together with your ex-girl).
As such, I must first ask, is it a big deal that she blocked you on Facebook? Why does this upset you? Is this the first sign that you should start moving forward with life? Yes, it does hurt to lose a relationship and especially when they cut off communication avenues but this is often for the best in our lives. It’s hard to see how things will eventually be better when you are currently in the thick of things, however, accepting and surrendering to change in our lives is a part of being human.
Perhaps, her blocking the lines of communication with you will be a greater catalyst for you to change the course of your life, then if you still had the capability to reach out to her on a daily basis…which only serves to keep the mental feedback loop going. You send her a message, she responds, you get pleasant feelings that reinforce your current mental addiction to the remains of this relationship.
Also, there remains the fact that social media is pretty stupid and unimportant in a variety of ways. It often causes more problems in relationships including jealousy and snooping around in other folks business, then it does bring them together. Don’t allow yourself to wrap up your identity in what occurs in social media, as it is ultimately a phantom reality.
Why Did She Block You?
Women can block you for a multitude of specific reasons, however, it basically boils down to a short term and long term. She may block you in the short term because she is upset with you about something, hurt about the end of the relationship, or she just wants time away from you. From the long term perspective, she wants to live her life and move forward without your influence interfering.
I always think that the best course of action is to plan for the long-term (meaning, the relationship is permanently over) possibility. Taking the steps to move forward with your life, is always the best idea because it allows for growth and change to occur, which ultimately benefit you. You are always the most important aspect of your life, women will come and go, but you are the one constant. So, learn to be happy with yourself.
How Did She Block You?
Did she only block you on Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp? Or was it an across the board, every line of communication has been severed? The former can bode well for the possibility of getting back together later, while the latter points to the relationship being completely over for the foreseeable future.
Well, if she hasn’t cut you off across the board, her blocking you on Facebook isn’t a big deal. Like, you could still communicate with her if need be, but this is probably a good time to lay off the communication. You should give her space and give yourself time to further heal the emotional pain, without her being in your life. Time can often reveal the correct course of action to take for your particular situation, you just have to be willing to allow time to pass without doing anything to try and ‘fix’ the broken relationship.
If she has blocked you across the board. There really isn’t anything that can be done in the immediate term. This is a situation which you must wait out and see if there is any change of heart from her side. If you did something like cheat on her, then she’s probably really hurt and may never want to speak to you again. She might forgive eventually but she’ll need plenty of time apart. She also might just want to experience her life without you and just wants to get on with creating a new life for herself. This is something you should also be doing.
How do you handle getting blocked on Facebook? The answer is to do nothing. Yes, everyone is looking for advice on the best action to take in whatever situation they are in BUT sometimes doing absolutely nothing but waiting it out is the only option available. Doing nothing in regards to trying to make communication between the two of you happen. This doesn’t mean that one sits around twiddling his thumbs, it just means to leave her alone for right now, and see if the intense emotions die down a bit. It’s really all you can do in a situation where you cannot communicate with her at all.
So, do this:
- Treat the relationship as if it is completely over
- Deal with emotional baggage and loneliness
- Find new hobbies, opportunities, friends, dates, etc. to help spark positive change in your life
- If the lines of communication do open up eventually, reevaluate if you still even want to try to fix this relationship.
Listen, the waiting game can absolutely suck, especially if you let emotions dictate your life and don’t deal with them or let these feelings heal. The brain will tell us to try this or that to try and ‘fix’ the relationship, even when it cannot be fixed, or there is no clear path to take. Letting the situation be as it is, absolutely does work as it is supposed to.
She may move on with her life or she may change her mind in a few months and want to work things out. That is not up to you to decide nor is it something that you can even control. Accept that you cannot control her actions or what she feels. You can however, control your own actions and how you approach your life moving forward. I’ve had girls I’ve dated, break up with me, and then reach out to me months later for us to: talk, hang out, get back together, etc. It’s funny though, once that had occurred, I had no interest in them any longer because I wasn’t the same person as I had been. Don’t get stuck in the BS and keep growing as a person, regardless of who might like you or want to be in a relationship with you at the moment.
All in all, getting blocked on social media is just another aspect of dating one must apparently deal with in this modern technological world. There’s nothing inherently different about being cut off on Facebook, even if you could still send her a message, there is no guarantee that she would respond or have a positive response towards you if she did write back. This is one of the opportunities in life in which you must learn to let go and not try to control the outcome because you can’t. You can wait it out, improve you life, and maybe the two of you can work things out at a later date.