So, a break up happens and you want to get back with an ex-girlfriend, only to be told…she’s not ready for a relationship right now. Not ready? What does that actually mean? Why would a woman say that? Does she actually mean that phrase, word for word? In this post, I want to explore and shed some light on reasons for this.
My Ex GF Isn’t Ready For A Relationship Now
Does She Mean It?
Possibly. The likelier answer is, yes.
She may indeed might not be ready to hop back into a relationship with you or start something serious with another guy.
It might just be a passing phase and she could be ready in a few months, to give things another try.
It can depend on her personality or how bad the break up was.
Conversely, she may have also just said that, because she has no interest in getting back together.
Well, for one reason, it is an easy excuse in order to get herself some space and time apart. She may not know exactly what she wants right now, but saying this, leaves the door open for lots of potential options.
If she doesn’t want to get back together, saying that serves the same purpose, as if she might actually want to reconcile.
It allows her to not have to commit to any specific path forward and just deal with the inevitable fallout stemming from the break up. The door is obviously still open with you, she can also go out on her own, or see other guys. It covers all bases, really.
It can also serve as an easy way to let you down, while still allowing for a glimmer of hope. If “she’s not ready for a relationship”, the outcome falls entirely on her. That way, it’s not specific to anything about you, it’s her, and her feelings.
Is she trying to break up in a more gentle manner? Maybe. Maybe not. But, it is a very real possibility.
What to Do Next?
I tend to be of the school of thought, that you don’t just rush back into action, as breakups usually play out over the course of weeks or months. So do, any potential reconciliations.
Because of this, I like to try and establish clear thinking about what I want next, after any break up. Why try to get back together, just because it’s familiar? I might want to go in another direction with my own life, but short-term emotions, may have me chasing the ex-girlfriend.
It can be hard to really know what to do, after a break up. I mean, we aren’t at our most rational during this time period. I know, people like to try and press to get back together, but it can often be a bad idea.
For one, it’s a false time constraint. Meaning, there’s usually not a huge rush to save the relationship, in reality. We think we have to get it done in a day or week, but most of the time things aren’t that pressing.
Secondly, many relationships aren’t worth saving. Not to say they’re all bad, but many are just comfortable. We habituate ourselves to thinking that this relationship is great, because it’s what we know, and the unknown that comes after is scary.
I think about relationships that I had when I was younger. At the time, they meant a whole lot, and I wanted to save them. Looking back, with the passage of time, and I’m really glad I didn’t try all that much to save them. It wouldn’t have worked out well, even if I had gotten back together with those women.
Nowadays, I know to take a break from contacting the ex, just so I can figure out my next moves. What do I actually want? Why is she right for me? Is she even the best option? Could I do something else with my life?
The No Contact Rule, allows for me to not have to press for a response, and also gives her time to think. You can get a clearer picture about what she wants or if she’s even serious about not wanting to be in a relationship. People often react out of emotion, without much thought.
What’s the first move towards Getting Back Together?
After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.
Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a woman gets a call out of the blue, she may not be in the mood right then to talk.
With texts, she can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.
This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.
He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.