The post-breakup period can already be a really confusing time. This becomes especially true, when you’re dealing with an ex-girlfriend who is seemingly ready to get back with you one minute and then acting as cold as ice the next. After a few times of experiencing this, we being to notice the behavioral pattern, and ask ourselves…am I being strung along here? What the hell does she actually want? Why would she be doing this to me? As aggravating as this experience can be, it can be dealt with, let’s explore what’s going on.
Why String Someone Along?
Women are always going to have their own individual reasons for doing this, but there are some old reliable reasons in this scenario.
First, she might be doing this because she really doesn’t know what she wants. If you know your ex-girlfriend is emotionally immature or indecisive, would this really be such a shocker? Of course not. Her lack of clarity doesn’t have to mean that you have to buy into it as well.
She might be trying to feel things out with you and doesn’t want to fully invest in pursuing a reconciliation, just yet. Sometimes, she’s wanting to go that route, and other times not.
Another reason could be that she’s trying to keep her options open for as long as possible. She could very well have other men that she’s seeing or collecting dates like trading cards. In this case, she wants to wait for her best option, which may or may not be you.
Third, she’s being really spiteful. She wants to do the hot and cold routine in order to get hopes up of getting back together, only to pull the rug from underneath you, once you’ve invested.
As you can see, there are some legitimate reasons that bode well for a future together. But there are also reasons to be cautious, as there is a possibility that a woman can be using her ex for her own benefit.
What’s the Reaction to Being Strung Along?
My approach has always been that of not playing the game. Meaning, that if I’m being strung along, I cut the damn string.
I’m not going to be playing her game, whether it be out of her own confusion or genuine manipulation. I don’t particularly care about the reasoning, only the end result, which is me having to put up with someone stringing me along and generating confusion.
I do this by making myself scarcely available. Since she is no longer my girlfriend, she has no reasonable expectation of my time and energy. If she wants my time and energy, then, we should have never broken up and she should attempt to reconcile without all of the confusion.
If she is just trying to manipulate me, it becomes extremely difficult for her to do so, without my constant need to give in to seeing and spending time with her.
It’s basically an attitude of: ‘shit or get off of the pot’. Stop playing games with me and give me clarity about our situation. In the past, I have just straight up asked them, what they wanted and basically refused any real interaction until it was all laid out.
I’ll also add, that if any of these girls were seeing other guys (that I knew for sure of), it was basically a non-starter with me. I’m not being option 1B or 2 or 3 or whatever.
Don’t accept nonsense just to be in a relationship or make those post-breakup feelings, not hurt so much. Be willing to walk away. After all, the relationship ended, and the obligation really is no longer there. If you’re not getting what you want and feel manipulated, why continue to pursue her at all? There are billions of other options on the planet.