Daily Archives: August 8, 2019

The post-breakup period can already be a really confusing time. This becomes especially true, when you’re dealing with an ex-girlfriend who is seemingly ready to get back with you one minute, and then acting as cold as ice the next.

After a few times of experiencing this, we being to notice the behavioral pattern, and ask ourselves…am I being strung along here? What the hell does she actually want? Why would she be doing this to me?This hot and cold behavior has got to stop! As aggravating as this experience can be, it can be dealt with, let’s explore what’s going on.

Why String Someone Along?

Women are always going to have their own individual reasons for doing this, but there are some old reliable reasons in this scenario.

First, she might be doing this because she really doesn’t know what she wants. If you know your ex-girlfriend is emotionally immature or indecisive, would this really be such a shocker?

Of course not. Her lack of clarity doesn’t have to mean that you have to buy into it as well.

If you can step back and detach yourself from her behavioral patterns, it kind of just looks silly. Heck, one can enjoy the times where she’s ‘hot’ towards you, and just anticipate the cold front that follows. Just sort of laugh at the whole game.

She might be trying to feel things out with you and doesn’t want to fully invest in pursuing a reconciliation, just yet. Sometimes, she’s wanting to go that route, and other times not.

Another reason could be that she’s trying to keep her options open for as long as possible.

She could very well have other men that she’s seeing or collecting dates like trading cards. In this case, she wants to wait for her best option, which may or may not be you.

Third, she’s being really spiteful. She wants to do the hot and cold routine in order to get hopes up of getting back together, only to pull the rug from underneath you, once you’ve invested.

If this last one is suspected, that’s when it’s really handy not to react or get attached to these hot/cold swings. Her acting this way out of spite, really only works if you follow along emotionally.

If one stays detached, the woman can’t derive any pleasure from trying to emotionally manipulate you. It completely ruins their twisted sense of fun.

As you can see, there are some legitimate reasons that bode well for a future together. But there are also reasons to be cautious, as there is a possibility that a woman can be using her ex for her own benefit.

How to Stop an Ex-Girlfriend from Stringing You Along?

My approach has always been that of not playing the game. Meaning, that if I’m being strung along, I cut the damn string.

The hot and cold game or stringing someone along, takes two people. You have to participate in order for her to continue this behavioral pattern.

If you just stop seeing her until she gives you clarity, or if you just detach yourself from caring, she is going to have to figure out a way forward. In the case, where she doesn’t really want you, she’ll get bored and leave you in peace.

My baseline approach: I’m not going to be playing her game, whether it be out of her own confusion, or genuine manipulation.

I don’t particularly care about the reasoning, only the end result. The end result, is me having to put up with someone stringing me along, and generating confusion in my life.

I do this by making myself scarcely available. Since she is no longer my girlfriend, she has no reasonable expectation of my time and energy.

If she wants my time and energy, then, we should have never broken up and she should attempt to reconcile without all of the confusion.

If I decide to give it to her once, there’s no guarantee, she’ll see me the next time. She’s lost her ‘preferred status’ with me, that she once had, as my girlfriend.

If she is just trying to manipulate me, it becomes extremely difficult for her to do so, without my constant need to give in to seeing and spending time with her.

It’s basically an attitude of: ‘shit or get off of the pot’. Stop playing games with me and give me clarity about our situation. In the past, I have just straight up asked them, what they wanted and basically refused any real interaction until it was all laid out.

I’ll also add, that if any of these girls were seeing other guys (that I knew for sure of), it was basically a non-starter with me. I’m not being option 1B or 2 or 3 or whatever.

Don’t accept nonsense, just to be in a relationship or make those post-breakup feelings, not hurt as much. Be willing to walk away.

After all, the relationship ended, and the obligation really is no longer there. If you’re not getting what you want and feel manipulated, why continue to pursue her at all? There are billions of other options on the planet.

Things get really intense during the time after a break up. Sometimes, things are said which really cut deep and hurt badly. One fairly common thing that gets said, is that, one partner never truly loved the other. When an ex-girlfriend says this, it certainly packs a punch. We start to question, how someone that we spent so much time with and assured us of their love, could actually say this sort of thing. Did she mean it? Is she just trying to piss me off? Let’s take a bit of a closer look at this situation and try to sort things out.

Does She Mean It? She Never Loved Me?

Short answer: maybe.

On the one hand, yes, an ex-girlfriend could seriously never loved the guy that she was dating. She may have been fond of him or just stuck around for other reasons. Saying, ‘I love you’, during a relationship may have just been a way to get by and keep things going.

There are some people who are either incapable of loving anyone or can love someone but will still be in long-term relationships with people they don’t actually love.

Another possibility is that the ex-girlfriend really did love the guy and is just acting spiteful during the post-break up period. She might be upset or just said something in the moment, that she really didn’t mean.

This is just trying to elicit a response and hurt feelings. That’s a pretty shitty move, but the not ever loving the other person trope, is a complete lie.

Another option is, that she is just saying it to get out ahead of you. Perhaps she thinks you’re going disavow the relationship and try to hurt her. How? By saying that you never loved her.

It’s a strategy that may be coming out consciously or unconsciously. Say the thing that you fear hearing, to the other person, before they can say it to you.

In this case, she probably did love your or still does, but she doesn’t want to feel that impact. So, she puts it out on you. Again, not a very admirable thing to be doing.

The whole love thing can be really tricky at times and a downright ugly business. Hell, there are plenty of cases where a woman marries and has kids with a man that she doesn’t love, just to extract resources and her real sexual desires get met by other men she has affairs with.

I’m not trying to scare anyone off of dating or anything like that, but there always will be a certain percentage of the population, who simply aren’t great people when you get down to it.

How to Deal With It?

Love that isn’t reciprocated by the other party, hurts really bad. However, as men, we cannot continually chase these types of women and try to make them feel something that they do not. The best thing that can be done is to move forward without them in your life.

No guy likes hearing that we really weren’t the one that she was looking for. It makes the whole relationship feel like a sham and it sucks to hear that you may have been the only one who was fully invested.

Whether she meant that she never loved you or not, is actually irrelevant. In either case, one can get out of a bad relationship that would’ve only gotten worse as time went on.

At the very least, you are dealing with someone who want to exact an emotional toll on you, or at the worst someone who is unfeeling and wants to use you.

Remember, there are always other options to date. Billions of women on this planet and even if only 1% like you, that leaves more chicks than you could ever possibly meet or date.

We all get burned by at least one during our dating careers and it’s really best to just deal with the emotions, loneliness, etc. and to mentally let it all go eventually. We cannot let one person have such a huge negative influence in our lives.

If she wants to be miserable and spiteful, let her be that way. You, on the other hand, don’t have to involve yourself. You can focus on your life and your goals and keep improving your situation.

If others want to try and hurt your feelings, learning to let go of those negative emotions and not reacting to their provocations, really is the best strategy. Trying to emotionally hurt someone and then having to watch them not have any reaction to it, is really frustrating for the person using emotional manipulation. It’s like a boomerang effect on their spitefulness.

Forgiving them or not is a matter of personal choice. The main thing is to mentally let it go for your own future well being. Things can absolutely start to feel normal again with time, as long as one doesn’t dwell on the past and their feelings of anger or resentment.

Can You Get Her Back If She Didn’t Really Mean It?

Sure, you can. The question is do you actually want to? It can take a lot of time and energy to fix a busted relationship, so, it’s not always worth it. This can especially be true for this situation.

If someone is saying that they don’t love you, specifically to hurt, then why would a relationship with them be something you’d still want?

Now, if it’s the case that you hurt her first and she responded with that, then I’d say the odds of a reconciliation are much better. Though, there will still probably be plenty of trust that needs to be rebuilt.

If she truly meant it, then move on with your life. Recover from the pain and let it go.

If she didn’t really mean it, then it’s your own personal call, as to what you want in your life. There are a lot of variables and questions, that you need to answer, in order to figure out whether she is worth it or not.

Again, if it was really a verbal battle between the two of you, she might have just said that in the heat of the moment and didn’t actually mean it.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. This can be rough going, after someone says that they never loved the other person.

Luckily, with technology, re-establishing contact can be relatively passive and easier to attempt.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!