Daily Archives: August 27, 2023

There are plenty of end of the relationship scenarios in which, the lady who broke up with the guy, has time to think on what they’ve done and decides that dumping that man was a bad choice. This can happen for a multitude of reasons.

In some cases, they acted on pure emotion in the moment of the break up, and later panicked when the logical part of their brain came back online.

Other women, go out into the dating world, and have a rough time finding a man who will commit to them or guys that are even decent people.

For whatever the cause, the man who got broken up with in the first place, now has to decide whether they even want this woman back in a relationship. Is it even a good idea to take you ex-girlfriend back after she dumped you?

The answer is of course, going to depend wholly only your unique circumstances but let us look toward some things to consider.

Why Did the Break Up Happen in the First Place?

The first consideration and issue to identify is, why did your ex break up with you in the first place? What were her stated reasons and also can you identify any other reasons that she never mentioned BUT you have a feeling was a problem?

Take a good look at the reasoning behind the break up.

• Were they frivolous?
• Or were they made in haste?
• If a girl would break up with you over almost nonsensical issues, is she actually a good long-term fit or does she have a big immature streak?
• What kind of actual commitment are you going to get from someone who is so flippant with their reasons for leaving?

Another potential issue is whether or not she broke up with you to date another guy or to play the field.

If she left to go explore a dating life outside of the one she had with you, how serious can she possibly be? She didn’t like being tied down before and now she’s ready to jump into a committed relationship again? Hmmm…that would make me think for a while.

I’m not saying that a woman coming back, doesn’t truly want to be together with you.

However, you also have an obligation to yourself to do your due diligence and question, why now?

If the situation was so bad in the past, that she had to leave, what would make it suddenly better?

Did she have some kind of revelation or did she learn how tough the dating world can be and ended up feeling lonely?

You cannot just be under the assumption that she is ready to really be together with you. She might be emotionally all over the place, confused about what she truly wants, and sees you as a situation that is familiar to her.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Is Anything Actually Different this Time Around?

Now, that you have narrowed in on the reasons that the breakup took place and potentially why she wants back in, ask yourself…what has actually changed? How is the failed relationship going to succeed on the second go round?

Since there were a set of problems that doomed the relationship, there must be answers to solve those issues. If not, things will eventually collapse again, usually after a ‘honeymoon’ period where things are all good.

• Were most of the problems of the relationship caused by you or by her?
• Are the negatives that you brought to the table, things that you are willing or able to fix?
• What about her, what will she do to make things work better this time?

Change is a very difficult thing for most people to truly do. They can make surface level changes easily but digging deep down and actually altering their fundamental being or lifestyle habits is hard.

Don’t chase what went well in the past because any new situation is basically a new relationship, as the old one could not be maintained for the long haul. Can you actually see the changes that need to take place happening? This should factor into whether or not to take an ex-girlfriend back.

What Do You Want in Your Life?

The post-breakup situation causes life to shift, often in dramatic ways.

• After going through the whole time period of being alone, what is it that you want from life now?
• Does she even fit in your plans any more?
• Do you honestly want to go down the path of reconciliation or are you just dealing with the pull that strong emotions can have after a relationship ends?

There is a tendency to begin thinking about all of the good times spent with one another. However, the negatives cannot be glossed over or overlooked because they will arise once again in any new version of the relationship.

Don’t get stuck in the mindset of believing that everything was rosy, when there were fundamental problems with the situation, between you and your ex-girlfriend.

If there is still a great deal of uncertainty, try not to rush back into things with her. You can still consider it but don’t let strong emotions overpower your judgment.

This can especially be the case if you’re in transition with the other areas of your life such as career, where you’re living, education, or even just wanting to start fresh on your own.

Rushing back into a dysfunctional relationship can alter your other life plans and then that reconciliation will eventually fail too…which can waste both of yours time and effort.

Really take the time to properly consider everything about the relationship, her, and what you want for your life. With time, a clearer understanding will come to light.

If after a thorough investigation into whether or not to get back together, you’re still unsure, then the best answer is probably a firm ‘no’. You cannot be unsure about this, because the problems will simply come up again in the future.

So, you’re ex-girlfriend has blocked you on Facebook, eh? That sounds so odd, to someone like me, who was on Facebook way back when it was only available for students at certain universities and it was still some weird thing which you added ‘friends’ to and had a ‘wall’ for posting messages.

So, I guess nowadays being blocked on a social media platform is a big deal, especially when that person happens to be your old girlfriend.

OK then, I suppose we will have to approach this issue on several fronts and get down to the nitty gritty of your particular situation.

I’m going to try to generalize this post to fit the array of social media apps, sites, and whatnot…so this will apply to whether or not you’ve been blocked on AOL Instant Messenger (that’s still around, right?) or Snapchat (I have no idea what this is) or Instagram (yay half naked models!) or the experience known as Facebook. Let’s get started.

Determine if this is a Big Deal

I generally like to take a different approach to breakups, in that, I generally believe them to be useful and that it really isn’t a great idea for most people to get back together.

Why is this?

Losing a relationship puts people in a intensely emotional head space, which can allow them to make bad decisions in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is a bad decision (like getting back together with your ex-girl).

As such, I must first ask, is it a big deal that she blocked you on Facebook? Why does this upset you? Is this the first sign that you should start moving forward with life?

Yes, it does hurt to lose a relationship and especially when they cut off communication avenues but this is often for the best in our lives.

It’s difficult to see how things will eventually be better when you are currently in the thick of things. However, accepting and surrendering to change in our lives is a part of being human.

Perhaps, her blocking the lines of communication with you will be a greater catalyst for you to change the course of your life.

Then, if you still had the capability to reach out to her on a daily basis…which only serves to keep the mental feedback loop going.

You send her a message, she responds, you get pleasant feelings that reinforce your current mental addiction to the remains of this relationship.

Also, there remains the fact that social media is pretty stupid and unimportant in a variety of ways.

It often causes more problems in relationships including jealousy and snooping around in other folks business, then it does bring them together.

Don’t allow yourself to wrap up your identity in what occurs in social media, as it is ultimately a phantom reality.

Why Did She Block You?

Women can block you for a multitude of specific reasons. However, it basically boils down to a short term and long term.

She may block you in the short term because she is upset with you about something, hurt about the end of the relationship, or she just wants time away from you.

From the long term perspective, she wants to live her life and move forward without your influence interfering.

I always think that the best course of action is to plan for the long-term (meaning, the relationship is permanently over) possibility.

Taking the steps to move forward with your life, is always the best idea because it allows for growth and change to occur, which ultimately benefit you.

You are always the most important aspect of your life, women will come and go, but you are the one constant. So, learn to be happy with yourself.

How Did She Block You?

Did she only block you on Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp?

Or was it an across the board, every line of communication has been severed?

The former can bode well for the possibility of getting back together later, while the latter points to the relationship being completely over for the foreseeable future.

Well, if she hasn’t cut you off across the board, her blocking you on Facebook isn’t a big deal.

Like, you could still communicate with her if need be, but this is probably a good time to lay off the communication.

You should give her space and give yourself time to further heal the emotional pain, without her being in your life.

Time can often reveal the correct course of action to take for your particular situation, you just have to be willing to allow time to pass without doing anything to try and ‘fix’ the broken relationship.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

If she has blocked you across the board. There really isn’t anything that can be done in the immediate term. This is a situation which you must wait out and see if there is any change of heart from her side.

If you did something like cheat on her, then she’s probably really hurt and may never want to speak to you again. She might forgive eventually but she’ll need plenty of time apart.

She also might just want to experience her life without you and just wants to get on with creating a new life for herself. This is something you should also be doing.

How do you handle getting blocked on Facebook? The answer is to do nothing.

Yes, everyone is looking for advice on the best action to take in whatever situation they are in BUT sometimes doing absolutely nothing but waiting it out is the only option available.

Doing nothing in regards to trying to make communication between the two of you happen. This doesn’t mean that one sits around twiddling his thumbs.

It just means to leave her alone for right now, and see if the intense emotions die down a bit. It’s really all you can do in a situation where you cannot communicate with her at all.

So, do this:

• Treat the relationship as if it is completely over
• Deal with emotional baggage and loneliness
• Find new hobbies, opportunities, friends, dates, etc. to help spark positive change in your life
• If the lines of communication do open up eventually, reevaluate if you still even want to try to fix this relationship.

Listen, the waiting game can absolutely suck, especially if you let emotions dictate your life and don’t deal with them or let these feelings heal.

The brain will tell us to try this or that to try and ‘fix’ the relationship, even when it cannot be fixed, or there is no clear path to take.

Letting the situation be as it is, absolutely does work as it is supposed to.

She may move on with her life or she may change her mind in a few months and want to work things out. That is not up to you to decide nor is it something that you can even control.

Accept that you cannot control her actions or what she feels. You can however, control your own actions and how you approach your life moving forward.

I’ve had women I’ve dated, break up with me, and then reach out to me months later for us to: talk, hang out, get back together, etc.

It’s funny though, once that had occurred, I had no interest in them any longer because I wasn’t the same person as I had been.

Don’t get stuck in the BS and keep growing as a person, regardless of who might like you or want to be in a relationship with you at the moment.

All in all, getting blocked on social media is just another aspect of dating one must apparently deal with in this modern technological world.

There’s nothing inherently different about being cut off on Facebook, even if you could still send her a message, there is no guarantee that she would respond or have a positive response towards you if she did write back.

This is one of the opportunities in life in which you must learn to let go and not try to control the outcome because you can’t. You can wait it out, improve you life, and maybe the two of you can work things out at a later date.