There are times when you have broken up with a girl, felt fine about it for months, and may have even moved on to some extent with your life. Then, there is the pang of loneliness or even nostalgia about the past. Did I make a mistake? Even after feeling like you have moved on from things and pushing an ex-girlfriend away, there is something inside you that implores you to get her back. Is this a good idea? Can it be done? Let’s take a closer look at things, once one starts to regret letting an ex-girl go.
I Pushed Her Away and She Moved On
Why and What Changed?
So, you pushed her away and now want your ex-girlfriend to come back? The first question that you need to honestly answer is why you did so?
Secondly, what has changed so much that you now need to do a reversal?
A complete 180 in the course of what you wanted after a break up does require some serious inquiry. Ask yourself, what were the fundamental reasons you no longer wanted her around and what were the major flaws in the relationship?
A change of heart can be a good thing, but not if it’s based solely on feelings, and nothing that’s concrete.
Meaning, if the relationship wasn’t workable before, why is it going to succeed now? If you didn’t want her two months ago, why would you want her to come back?
Feeling lonely, while a powerful driver, is not a good enough basis for a relationship.
As once you satisfy those lonely feelings you must contend with the reality that this person, may not be the best fit for your life moving forward.
Yes, she may have been a great fit at one point in time… but, the two of you might have changed enough to no longer make that true.
Be honest about what you truly want with your life and with a relationship moving forward. What are her flaws that drove you away in the first place? What are the negatives about the relationship? Realistically, can they be resolved or are the beyond repair?
You had your reasons for no longer wanting to be together with your ex-girlfriend, get back to those reasons. Figure out how legitimate they are. Try to approach things with as little emotion and as objectively as you possibly can.
This will help you find out if you truly do want to get back together or if you’re just dealing with the emotional aftermath of no longer being together.
Relationships can be like addictions and that withdrawal period will almost always stir up a lot of emotional confusion. Don’t make a long-term commitment based on this emotions alone.
What Are Some Common Reasons Why We Push Women Away?
- We really were sick of them…now we kind of miss her (confusing emotions)
It’s a legitimate feeling to have. As I’ve mentioned, sometimes its just loneliness or some feeling of lack in our lives.
However, it might have nothing to do with her or her absence. It is about us and either feeling lost, being depressed, or any other myriad of issues that don’t stem from not having a girlfriend.
Again, we need to take the time to figure out if it’s really her that we miss or if breaking up was the best course of action. The break up might still be the best thing for your life, but you just need to figure out all of the non-relationship aspects of it.
2. Got Scared of Commitment in General or For this Girl in Particular
A lot of guys, might push a woman away, simply because they are terrified of what comes with commitment. I get it, it can be a big step to take.
Let’s be honest, nowadays, not many of us have examples of solid relationships to imitate. We’ve seen divorced parents or no parents. We’ve seen rampant cheating or the hook up culture.
In such conditions, it’s easy to not want to get too attached to anybody. So, we cut people out of our lives, before they can hurt us even deeper.
If this is your case, ask yourself, what are the main fears? What is it that is pushing you away from something positive, because you don’t want to feel confined?
Another thing that a lot of guys have, is not knowing how to handle success. They get the girlfriend they want and have no idea how to handle it. Then, they reject her rather than feeling discomfort.
They may do this in other areas of life, also. Self-sabotaging anything good, that comes there way.
All of this is assuming, that this was a worthwhile relationship. If it was, ask yourself, what these fears stem from?
3. You Wanted to Test the Dating Market
Some guys, dump their girlfriend’s so that they can go out and get with more women. Either for sex or to ‘upgrade’ to a ‘better’ girlfriend.
Fair enough. It’s just that many guys don’t have the skill set to pull it off or they realize that the girls that they are meeting… don’t bring the same thing to the table as the ex.
If this is you, what is going to change moving forward? Will you just get bored with her, later on? What is the need you have to be with other women? At a certain point, it’s not even about getting sex, and more just trying to satisfy the ego.
Is this feeling out of your system for good? Or will it creep back in the future. If it does, you might end up in the same spot as you are now, either with the ex or some other woman you date.
How Did You Push Her Away?
Once one has determined whether or not a true reconciliation is what is wanted and decides against moving on, it is important to consider in what manner she was pushed away.
Was she simply ignored? Let down gently? Was the breakup messy? Was cheating involved? Have you already been dating other girls?
All of these questions and more can play into the odds of whether or not she will actually come back. Even then and even if she forgives, she still may not want to come back any longer. Some people will put up with almost any level of rejection, while others are ready to let go of the relationship, almost immediately.
If it was a clean break and she still seems to be sniffing around or is in contact with you, then, it is usually a much better scenario to start from. It becomes a whole hell of a lot easier to convince someone who wants to come back into the fold to do so, versus someone who holds a high level of bitterness about how things ended.
Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.
You Can Fess Up to a Mistake but Don’t Grovel
Once one gets to the point where he knows he wants to get back together and knows how much of a challenge (or a fair estimate) it is going to be to start things back up again, there needs to be a strategy as to how to go about things.
Following the No Contact Rule is a good start. However, it also depends on the circumstances. If the break up was really recent, then following a period of a 4-6 weeks of No Contact can be a really good idea, as it lets the raw feelings settle down.
If it’s been a while and there hasn’t really any been any communication between the two parties, then tacking on a period of No Contact really doesn’t have much effect, and one can move forward with trying to get back together.
One of the main mistakes that guys tend to make, is doing the whole pouring your heart out and begging for forgiveness thing. It’s a highly popular trope on TV and in movies. Much like most dating advice seen in cinema, it doesn’t really work, and can actually backfire.
If you pushed her away by dumping her, you’re coming from a position of strength. Why grovel and beg, it only makes one appear less attractive.
If you pushed her away by being needy, acting even needier isn’t going to help matters.
Avoid going that route, you can admit to mistakes, if they are brought up by her once contact is established but don’t go out of your way to beg for clemency.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: