Category Archives: Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Back if She Just Wants to be Friends

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Ah, the dreaded friend zone. This is a spot which is usually reserved for guys who a girl has no romantic interest in initially and not a guy whom she has already dated.

However, there are circumstances in which after a break up, your ex-girlfriend might tell you that she just wants to be friends with you now, and that she doesn’t want the two of you to hate each other.

In principle, being friends with your ex doesn’t seem like such a bad proposition. But, it can turn out that way, based on the feelings you still have and what her true meaning is exactly.

In my experience, the whole just being friends thing, doesn’t really mean that the two of you are going to be best buds and hang out all of the time.

So, in this post, I want to explore a little bit of what it means for you and your ex to be ‘just friends’ and if there is a clear methodology to get yourself out of said situation or if it is even desirable.

I Want Us to Be Just Friends

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

Even ancient brahs got stuck in the friend zone

Alright, so, you and this girl have had a sit down or she has texted and informed you of your new found friendship. You may have agreed that the two of you should remain friends in the aftermath of the breakup. Even though, you probably didn’t really mean it.

From your end, you still want her back as a girlfriend and are only being amenable to friendship, so that you can stay somewhat close to her.

Let’s just be honest from the start here, you are still sexually attracted to this girl. Plus, probably have romantic feelings towards her.

As such, there’s no purely Platonic relationship here and while you still care about her, you’re not really her ‘friend’!

On the flip side, she is suggesting being friends in order to: Either, let you down gently and diminish your intentions, of you trying to get back together with her. Or she is planning on keeping you around, for other purposes.

Being stuck in the friend zone means that, you will be giving away your time and attention, in exchange for something you don’t actually want (the illusion of true friendship).

In that situation, her emotional needs and need to have someone to download all of her problems onto is met by you, her now ‘neutered’ ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, she can go out and get her physical needs satisfied by other men…whom she still has sexual attraction to.

Listen to this clip below, for a great explanation of the ‘Time Ho’ phenomenon, and see if it doesn’t describe your current situation.

Listen, man, the break down of this problem is actually quite simple.

If you really just want to be friends, have other girls around, and no longer have any type of real attraction to this girl…then by all means, go be a friendly guy.

That’s cool, just don’t get what the relationship is now, confused with what it used to be.

If you actually just want to get back with her or you are undecided if that’s the best course of action to take, then, don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that the two of you are pals.

It’s an either or thing. You can be friends with an ex if that same spark is no longer there. Or, you can still desire her, and want to reconcile the relationship. Trying to play it both ways, isn’t tenable, in the long-term.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Escape from Friend Zone Mountain

Removing yourself from the friend zone is a laborious process. The first thing that I would consider, is if being with this girl is truly what I want or am I just carrying leftover emotional baggage.

If it is the latter, then, I would suggest getting to work with moving on with your life and letting go of this failed relationship…there are literally billions of others out there for us to pursue.

Getting past it, is mostly a function of time mixed with the pursuit of personal growth, so that your life doesn’t stagnate and you don’t become consumed with the past and what was.

If you are hellbent on getting out of the friend zone and trying to get back together with this girl, however, just know that while it can be done, it is never a guarantee to work.

Ask yourself if you really want to spend time chasing something that may never be and even if it comes to fruition, it won’t be the same as it once was.

Luckily, this decision doesn’t have to be made on the spot, as the best path to follow whether moving on from or trying to get out of the friend zone with your ex-girlfriend is the same…at least initially.

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone with an ex? Yes, I’ve done it before but the funny thing is, I no longer wanted those girls around by the time they became interested in me once again.

It works out that way sometimes, where you’ve grown as a person to the point that a girl you once were really into, no longer holds the same meaning in your life.

That’s why taking time apart can be so damn important. Emotional distress and everything that comes with it, can push you towards one outcome.

Acting on emotions, you could end up in a situation, you may not actually want for yourself in the long-term. It’s sort of a temporary state, where you can’t really make good decisions.

No Contact? Hell yeah, No Contact!

In order to extricate yourself from the friend zone, you must not allow yourself to get sucked deeper into it.

That’s an impossible task if you are constantly answering her phone calls and listening to her complain about her day. You cannot allow yourself to get dragged further down into the abyss and becoming an utterly neutral man in her eyes (i.e. she doesn’t feel that sexual attraction) because that will only increase the severity of the problem.

I’ve already discussed the No Contact Rule in length, here. As such, I’m not going to delve into it in this article. However, I will say that you will need to go roughly a month of no contact, so that you can even begin to start crawling out of the friend zone.

But…but…won’t she forget about me? Only if you’re forgettable. Besides, you cannot think like that, you have to be willing to lose a girl completely.

Even if that fact hurts to think about, as men, we have to cultivate the ability to walk away from situations because our disinterest can sometimes be the only way of preserving our respect.

When that high level physical and emotional interest (on her end) no longer exists like it did at the start of the relationship, one has to choose the most attractive path available.

For most guys, this means either some level of indifference, or being the lapdog who begs for her back. The first one is way more attractive, than the chick repellent that is desperate behavior.

make dem changes

What to do During No Contact?

What I would suggest doing during this No Contact period is taking a hyper-interest in yourself and your life.

Yes, self-development is the main thing that I would focus on. I cannot spend my time solely thinking about her, and how much I can’t wait for this period of time to end, so that I can send her a text message again.

This type of obsession seems to be common, especially among men, as we usually have a tougher time dealing with breakups and the emotions that follow.

We also, will usually develop strong feelings for women, if they happen to be the only option that is around. In this case, our ex-girlfriend was our main squeeze and when we lose her henceforth, it becomes almost a compulsion to get her back.

While I think it is a terrible idea to jump into a serious relationship right after you just got out of one. I think that it is a great idea to starting dating casually again, in order to gain clarity. (If you suck at getting girls, I’ve written two Kindle books on this subject: Game without Games and Online Dating for Men ) Going out with other girls does multiple things…

First, it allows you to viscerally understand that your ex is not the only girl out there who may be a decent match for you. Thus, her hold on you is lessened. It also might make it clear for you, that you don’t actually need to pursue your ex-girlfriend, anymore.

Secondly, it diffuses your interest among many girls instead of concentrating it on the one you don’t have.

Think about it, if you have 20 girls who you can text with and probably get to meet you out somewhere, are you really going to be as attached to the one who currently has you stuck in the friend zone? Probably not.

Thirdly, your value on the sexual market is raised. If many women want you or hang around you for dates, you are a much more desirable man in the eyes of every other woman (including your ex).

People’s perception becomes their reality. For example, if two identical men are at a crowded bar and one of them is standing alone while the other is surrounded by people, which one has more value?

The man with lots of friends and women, even though he is identical to the man that is standing alone. It is mere perception of value that changes the level of attractiveness.

What that means for your ex-girlfriend, is that if she’s noticing that your are getting along fine without her, the idea that she made a mistake might start creeping into her head. After all, these other women seem to be enjoying my ex, maybe I had something really good and let it get away.

Whether she starts thinking that or not, the idea is to sort of reset the conception she has of you in her mind. Start dating other girls during this no contact period and keep it going after contact has been established.

Other things that you can do in order to start raising your value is to change your physical appearance for the better, learn new skills, start new projects, find new social activities to engage in…really anything that alters the perception of who you are (and that you enjoy doing) will begin to dissolve her old perception of you and help to recast you in a new light.

Go hard. Really plan it out, as to how you’re going to improve your life, whether she’s around or not. It’s a winning move, because your life gets better, and a man with an awesome life is really attractive to women; even those who’ve dated you before.

What to Do Post-No Contact

Well, reestablish contact with her.

Remember though, that you cannot act like the same old guy by begging to have her come back to you and all the desperate attention seeking things of that nature.

Still have other girls lined up for dates. So, for instance, if you end up setting up a meeting with you ex on Wednesday, try having dates on Tuesday and Thursday (or other times during the week) so that your ex is just another girl in the rotation and not elevated above.

In my experience with getting out of the friend zone, I found that treating the failed relationship as completely done was the best course to follow.

Whatever emerged with my ex after the breakup was an entirely new edifice that we were constructing. This meant, I couldn’t give her the same type of priority treatment she had, when we were together.

I got back to her when I felt like it, I accepted offers to hang out at my convenience, I never broke my other plans just to go listen to her nonsense.

In essence, I reclaimed my sovereignty as a man, and the girl had to work her way back to the top of the depth chart if she wanted more of my time. Even then, the result was to keep it casual, and we never ‘got back together’ beyond hanging out and hooking up.

Relationships should only be carried out on your terms. If she continues to stick you in the friend zone when you have no interest in that, then you can completely sever ties with her.

Like I said, getting out of the friend zone doesn’t always work and there are going to be instances in which you cannot rekindle a romance. The good news is that, by the time you’ve figured out whether she might want you back, you may have already moved on to bigger and better things.

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Why Won’t My Ex-Girlfriend Reply to My Text Messages?

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The modern communication abilities that we have thanks to technology have been absolutely great for guys in their dating lives. Texting and apps like Tinder have enabled us to avoid calling the old fashioned house phone and talk to as many available girls as we want.

However, it has also empowered those women, including our ex-girlfriends to ignore our text, Facebook, or other direct messages whenever it suits them.

Why would an ex ignore your texts and ultimately just not respond to them? Well, why one may be ignoring you specifically is a tough nut to crack without having the exact details and circumstances involved (and no I’m not Dr.Phil trying to solve all your woes).

BUT what I can do, is present some common reasons that your old girlfriend just isn’t going to talk to you.

My Ex Won’t Text Me Back…Some Possible Reasons Why

She’s Moved On

One thing you should know about women. When they’re done, they’re done (most of the time). Yes, you can have situations for a while where she isn’t exactly sure how to feel about you, she might still talk with you, or even sleep together.

At some point, though, that final frontier is crossed and she is ready to move on with her life. Now, this can mean that she wants to be alone without a partner for a while or that she is seeing other guys.

I know that it can hurt to thing about someone you were close with being with another, but it is a simple fact of life that we all must contend with from time to time.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

We do have to let go of people eventually and if there’s a good chance that she’s moved on, you should prepare to do the same. This means going about your life, making positive changes, working towards goals, and even dating other girls.

Now, things may change in the future and a reconciliation may eventually be possible but while we can hope for the best we must plan for the most likely outcome.

Moving on isn’t always a finality. I have had ex-girlfriends break up with me and want nothing to do with me, only to later feel the need to contact me again.

It’s a really weird phenomenon sometimes, like, you just need to let people go out and explore the world on their own…and the ideas they have in their heads, don’t work out as they thought. Then, they just start reaching out for anything familiar to them.

I had one girl that I dated, hit me up in successive years under the guise of both being ‘just friends’ and then also, trying to have a sexual relationship. I hadn’t spoken to her in years and had zero feelings toward her any longer. Crazy, but it happens a lot to people.

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You’ve Become a Creep

When some people get desperate to get their ex back, they start texting the girl way too much, becoming almost stalker like, or even becoming violent/angry towards them. The violent aspect doesn’t apply to most guys, but many guys do text their ex-girlfriends a lot and come off as needy and weak.

If this applies to you, back off. Going no contact, might not get an ex-girlfriend to come back. However, it isn’t going to make things worse. The situation needs to cool off and both parties need their space to live their lives.

Being the creepy or stalker-ish ex-boyfriend is a huge turnoff to women and it isn’t going to make her respond to whatever texts may come her way.

I’ve never successfully gotten a girl to come back, trying to go the texting and explaining route. However, I have gotten girlfriends to become interested in me again, after I went No Contact and stopped making myself appear desperate to have her back in my life.

Obsessiveness and desperation are major turn offs for people. Yes, she knows you well after dating for so long. But, that relationship is now severed and it becomes quite easy to push her further away while desperately trying to grasp her attention back to you.

Guys really need to chill with this shit.

She’s Up on a Pedestal…and You Put Her There

This is a offshoot of the last point. Texting a girl a lot and becoming really emotional about her is quite repulsive to women. Don’t treat her as if she is some sort of perfect angel and that your life is over without her (it isn’t).

Why would she respond favorably towards a guy she knows she has some control over and can get him back any time she pleases? Where’s the challenge? Where’s the equality in the relationship?

Essentially, you make yourself less attractive as a man because you’ve ceded your masculinity and everything that she probably used to find attractive.

Don’t beg. Don’t be a lapdog. Use this time period as an opportunity to improve your life, regardless if she ever comes back or not. Chicks come and go BUT the one constant in your life is YOU.

Which guy would she be more likely to go back to?

The guy who texts and pretty much obsesses over her or the guy who is out doing positive things with his life and seeing other women? The answer is the latter.

The post-breakup period is a trying time emotionally, I get it, I’ve been there.

The problem is, when we’re hyped up in these insanely emotional states, we do dumb things that we believe will ‘solve our problems’ but really just destroy our chances of resolving anything.

One of the dumb things we do, is to go into begging and pleading mode. Or better yet, the complete idealization of her and the relationship, but if everything was so perfect…it wouldn’t have failed.

A man has to maintain his cool throughout this process, whether the outcome is what you want, or one that doesn’t work out in your favor. Again, time and the right plan, can often flip situations for the better. You just can’t mess things up in the meantime.

She’s Just Pissed Off at You

Sometimes, it isn’t a big thing where she’s moved on or she’s lost interest in you. It might just be a temporary situation, where she’s completely pissed off at you and needs more time to cool off before she’s ready to talk to you.

This one isn’t such a big deal usually, unless you did something really terrible like cheat on her…then yeah, you might be fucked. There can be lots of little reasons she might not want to respond to anything you say at the moment. This is just a storm you’ve got to ride out.

Emotional states change and the thought patterns that make someone be really mad, eventually pass, and they can think rationally once again. Time apart allows cooler heads to prevail and give someone clarity about what they want and don’t want in their lives.

That clarity might make a woman realize, that the relationship she just ended is the best option for her in life, and that the anger she felt wasn’t really anything major.

Just like you might currently be in a volatile emotional state, she probably is as well. There’s a huge flux in people’s moods following a breakup, so, what she might be mad about now perhaps won’t bother her next month.

Personally, I’d rather have a woman be mad at me, than not caring at all. At least, I know she feels something, and still has an attachment. Even if, it is currently a negative view toward me.

What Can You Do When She Won’t Reply to Your Messages?

Really, the best moves you can make are to:

1. Not send any more messages, see the no contact rule post

2. Prepare to move on, even if she comes back.

3. Try to re-contact again, at a later date.

The first aspect gives her space and allows you to stop coming off as really desperate and unattractive. While the second, makes it easier to move past the breakup if it is indeed a permanent thing and it very well might be.

Then, when things have settled down a bit, maybe a month or so from now. You can try to open up the lines of communication again. This is only if, you’ve really put thought into things and still want to try to get back together with her.

A lot of times, once you’ve had time apart and gotten your head clear, you find out that you don’t actually want to be with the ex. You figure out that most of what you were feeling was an almost addictive quality, because you were so used to being together, that a break up shocked your system.

Of course, your own situation will vary but as far as a general point of view that about does it. There are some many variables and reasons why she may not be responding but the only one who knows for sure is her.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex at some point. She’s not currently responding to your texts, but at some point, she very well could.  Of course, we still have to give things time, and let the situation settle down but texting can be an amazing weapon to give things another try.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back” program.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of television shows, to discuss his methods at repairing broken relationships.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back if She Broke Up with You

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There are a ton of variations of how and why relationships end. One of the most common ones, is a man’s girlfriend dumps him and doesn’t give a reason or maybe just not a very believable one. Having your woman leave you is a tough L to take, it’s just one of those losses that stings for a while no matter what you try to do to remedy the hurt.

However, even in the midst of that emotional pain, there is still that raw and gnawing feeling that you want her back in your life. The question is, can you get an ex-girlfriend back, if she is the one who initiated the end of the relationship?

Yes. Yes, you can. The thing is, there are also important questions such as, if that is even a good idea or if it is likely to succeed?

In this post, I want to dig a little bit further into this topic and try to illuminate somethings one should consider when trying to reconnect with an ex after getting dumped.

Things can get complicated emotionally, so, it is important to take time to really consider how everything has played out and what you want your future to look like.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Achieving Total Clarity

So, the first and probably most important step in trying to get back an ex-girlfriend is to decide that you actually want to. No, I’m not talking about some hokey, “Law of Attraction” type of stuff.

What I mean, is to get out from under the cloud of emotion and bruised ego, and truly know that trying to restart things with her is the best decision for your life.

Let’s be honest, most of the hurt that comes along with many breakups is manufactured by the repetitive conditioning of your interactions with one another.

You’ve grown accustomed to this girl being there and when she isn’t, you are no longer receiving the positive emotional feedback, and as such it feels like something is missing.

This type of feeling will arise, whether you truly love the girl or just really liked her a lot, which is confusing because it can feel exactly the same in the short-term.

However, in the long-term clarity will arise. The feedback cycle is broken, and you can realize, that perhaps you didn’t feel as strongly towards her as you might have thought.

I think that all guys go through this type of thing. We trip out over girls and then later come to realize what an awful mistake staying with them would have been.

There are plenty of girls who I dated in my college-age years, who I was absolutely devastated by when they broke up with me.

BUT when I fast-forwarded a few months, I knew that I had dodged a bullet with some of them (being with for longer, getting married, accidentally knocking them up). It’s kind of crazy how much the mind can shift, with a bit of time, and normalcy.

If you’re a younger guy, please understand that this is going to have more of an effect on you, precisely because you have less experience. Relationships are still rather new in your life and there is a huge difference between high school/college and the more serious stuff that comes with age.

It’s like the difference between amateur and professional sports, there’s just a different level of seriousness and competition.

Clarity is an extremely hard thing to achieve when that other person is still involved in your life on some level. I usually want to go no contact for 30-60 days, so that I can take a step back a analyze the situation without being constantly triggered emotionally.

Don’t worry the ex-girlfriend isn’t going to forget about you in that short of time, unless you were a totally forgettable man.

Sometimes, an ex will move on within a short time frame. Though, even that doesn’t always preclude them from reaching out to contact, or even pursue some sort of reconciliation.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Are Some Things to Consider?

What ended the relationship? Think beyond just what she told you and dig to the roots of the problems. Did you cheat? If so, that adds a whole lot more complexity to this situation.

Also, if you did cheat, why did you do it? Were you bored, no longer attracted, want other chicks besides her (like not just fantasy but actively flirting and trying to pick them up)?

Yes, these all have an impact as to whether you should even want to try to get back together again. You might be chasing something that you feel emotionally guilty about, however, at your very core you may know that the relationship was on the way out anyways.

Did she cheat? My policy on this is to move on. Fuck dealing with unfaithful people, if she wants to screw around that is her prerogative. But it is also mine to say that, it violates the confines of our relationship, and she needs to move on.

How much time has elapsed? If it has been close to a year or more and nothing has changed, you either need a new approach or to get on with your love life. If she’s already been seeing other guys for a while and has moved into a more serious relationship with one of them, that’s another solid sign that it may be time to accept that it’s over.

What type of relationship was it? How serious did it get? A girl who is in high school or college, is most likely not ready to settle down for a very long term relationship (marriage), and will likely want to experience many new relationships or types of guys after she gets out of something semi-serious (long-term boyfriend).

However, if things did get very serious and she is either older or more mature, then there is a better chance that you could still be the right man for the job.

The breakup could have been caused by simple bad habits or a lack of direction/maturity on your part and she might be in the stage of life where she demands a man that meets all of her needs/qualifications.

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What Are Some of Your Flaws and How Do You Improve Them?

I am a huge believer in self-improvement. Not just in terms of getting attention from women but also in every other aspect of my life. In my own personal experience, I can tell you that perception of reality is not always the same as reality itself, and it is also more powerful.

What I mean is, how you are perceived will have a greater impact than who you actually are in many given situations. For instance, the same guy walks into a bar, in one instance he is alone and in another he is with a group of women.

In which instance is he more attractive to any given female in the bar? When he is with the group of women, even though he is fundamentally the same person. The only change is in the perception of him and his value as a man.

Let’s be real, your girlfriend isn’t going to leave you if she still perceives you as a high value man.

Yes, you may be everything she wants EXCEPT you have anger issues that pushes her away (in that case , you lack of emotional control has collapsed your value as a man).

Or maybe you haven’t shown signs that you are serious about long-term commitment. Or you aren’t very much fun to be around more. You’re too controlling. Etc, etc.

If you and the relationship that you had with your ex had too many flaws, then of course she is going to start looking around at other guys and thinking that she can do better.

It isn’t always the case that she will want you back even if you do make yourself a better man because sometimes it’s just simply a lack of compatibility on a deep level. However, if there was true long-term compatibility, there may be certain things that drove her away…fixable things!

For instance, maybe you weren’t spending enough time together. Perhaps, you were too engaged in work, hanging out with your boys, playing video games, watching sports, or whatever…if this was a main cause of the break up, then this should be a main area of trying to improve yourself.

Step away from your diversions, minimize them, try to work on patterns of addictive behaviors. Make a list of areas of your life you need to improve in…from health, to wealth, to sexual skill, to confidence, communication, or any other potential factor.

Seriously, if you work on yourself and then don’t get this girl back, at least you’ve improved your odds at landing more ladies and finding one that is also a right fit for you. Keep in mind that there are ultimately billions of them on this planet, so if you can make yourself available and more desirable you can, land plenty more.

Conversely, she could have also been the source of many of the relationship’s problems. There are cases in which one person creates lots of issues and then initiates a break up anyway.

If this is the case for your, break up, ask yourself if it is actually worth it? Is getting back together with this woman, something that is good for the long haul, or simply a way to patch up the short-term emotional turmoil?

get better or this guy might take your girl

get better or this guy might take your girl

Taking the Time to Change

In order to show significant change and actually make changes to one’s life, there does need to be some time apart. A lot of guys will still currently be in ‘chase mode’, when trying to get back with his ex.

What this means is, he is still calling or texting or desperately begging to get back together…and it’s simply not working.

You cannot press a woman to want to get back together with you. She will begin to resent it and find a guy unattractive, when he displays such groveling characteristics.

Also, constantly being in contact or trying to fix things, doesn’t allow her the ability to think about what she actually wants. There are plenty of cases in which, the girl breaks up with her guy, and realizes that the single life can suck.

She realizes that she’s not meeting any ‘better men’ and her ex starts to look really great in comparison. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when things don’t work out, she might turn her attention back to you.

However, how can that happen, when he ex is constantly bothering her and displaying unattractive characteristics? Even if she finds out that being single isn’t great, it would still be more appealing than an ex, calling her constantly.

As such, utilizing the No Contact Rule, is a way to create enough space and work to better yourself for a potential reconciliation.

Taking a month or two apart, isn’t a bad thing. It allows both parties to fully consider what they want to do, experience life without the other person, and to improve themselves.

Getting clarity doesn’t just happen when you see the negatives of the relationship, it can also show you all of the positives, and why it should be fixed. When emotions calm down and reality sets in, people will tend to recognize that they actually had something great, and worth the work that it takes to make a relationship successful.

What’s the first move?

So, once a period of time apart has been taken, contact will need to be re-established if you still want to try and get back an ex.

However, by that time, you might have gained the clarity that you’d be better off moving on. That’s cool and can be the best decision for folks, in many cases. Not all relationships are worth trying to save, as they simply aren’t functional, at their core.

However, when one determines that it is worth at least attempting to salvage, there needs to be a strategy in place for making the effort. After a month or two of not talking and still being apart, getting back into contact, is of paramount concern.

One of the easiest and also most effective methods for doing so, is by use of text messaging. I mean, it is not only easy to do, but you can also take all of the time you need to craft a message and future response.

Plus, it takes the pressure off of the other person, who can respond whenever or if they feel like it. A call or face to face meeting can be brushed off, as too intrusive, but a text is both casual and weirdly intimate because folks have their phones nearly all of the time. It’s like a part of themselves.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Chances of Getting My Ex-Girlfriend Back?

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If you still want to get back together with an ex-girlfriend after a break up, one will inevitably end up surveying the landscape, and trying to calculate the odds. What is the chance that she will want to restart our broken relationship?

While never an exact science, we are dealing with the whims of human beings after all, there are signs and obstacles which serve as indicators as to whether or not a reconciliation might happen.

Again, even if the odds seem to point out that there is a decent chance of getting back together happening, there is no guarantee that it will actually take place in reality.

So, while there are an insane number of variables that are unique to each person’s situation, I thought’d I’d cover some aspects that may help or hinder the chance of getting an ex-girlfriend to come back into the fold.

Her Relationship Goals

The first aspect of this that I want to cover, is seeing things from her perspective. Now, she might not have any clue what she wants in terms of relationships after a breakup.

However, there is also a good chance that she has a very good idea, and whether or not you fit into those plans can obviously impact the odds of reconciliation.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

She may be ready for a serious relationship, but felt that perhaps, you weren’t the one she wanted to settle down with for the long-term.

Conversely, maybe your relationship was too serious for her, and she felt stuck within it. Thus, she moves on and begins casually dating other guys.

I would say that in most cases if she wants a longer-term deal and felt like you weren’t mature enough or whatever other reason; then, there is a better chance of getting back together than in the latter example.

After all, one can grow and mature as a person. But it’s hard to convince someone who no longer wants something serious that they should get back into the confines of exclusivity.

Again, there are no hard and fast laws on this sort of thing and it’s strictly up to her own internal thoughts and feelings. However, I will say anecdotally, that age seems to be a factor in making these sorts of decisions.

I have gone out with a lot of women in the past few years, without being tied down in anything serious, and have noticed patterns of behavior based on women’s age range.

Women I’ve dated below the age of 25 were into much more casual relationships or strictly hookups.

Meanwhile, 25-30 tended to be much more all in for a long-term and often potential marriage situation.

Then, the mid-30s women, usually had just gotten out of long-term relationships or marriages, and were all about fun within the confines of a casual relationship.

Many women start to feel the pressure of getting married and starting a family in their late 20s. As such, they might throw overboard their current boyfriend if they feel like, he isn’t up to the job of starting a family with her.

The type of romantic or non-romantic situation that she currently wants can have a huge impact on the chances of getting back together with her. Thus, the reconciliation plan may be scuttled before it even has an opportunity to get started.

This can play a major role in the decision or effectively none at all. It is a good idea to think about what the scenario was, in your own case, and what sort of things your ex had been saying about the relationship prior.

Who Initiated?

Another common factor in potential reconciliation is the question of who ended the relationship. If it was her, then, the odds are significantly lower. If it was you, then, she might not have expected the relationship to end nor did she particularly want it to.

If it was a mutual decision, then, it’s kind of murky and could go either way with about equal odds. Again, it will all depend on the unique variables of your relationship.

When women break up with you, they usually have an exit strategy planned in advance, and might even have back up guys lined up for when the relationship ends. If she broke up with you, the chances aren’t nearly as good, but it’s not impossible either.

If you broke up with her, it can be much easier usually to get things started once again. Assuming, that things didn’t turn super ugly during the aftermath of things ending between you. In some cases, all bets are off, because all bridges have been burned.

Factors involved in the Break Up

There are certain issues that may be too much to overcome. For instance, if you cheated on her. She’s probably not going to want to get back together after that. And if she cheated, then, dude…why would you want her back? Move on!

Other major issues could be too much fighting, disagreements about the direction of the relationship, etc.

If you guys couldn’t get along very often, then, things are going to require a major overhaul before a new relationship can even begin.

Take stock of what happened and what the problems of the relationship were. Were there major red flags? If so, how would they be remedied? Can they even be?

It’s pretty amazing, how many people, overlook these basic aspects. They become so consumed with trying to ‘win’ someone back, that they fail to recognize, massive underlying problems of the relationship.

The relationship was ‘broken’ for a reason or many reasons. If it wasn’t, it’d still be continuing on, as a prosperous partnership. Take an honest look at these issues and assess, if they are even worth fixing, to salvage this thing.

Current Communication Levels

Are the two of you speaking? Has she blocked your number or on Facebook? Are you constantly hitting her up and she’s ignoring you?

If she’s more receptive to speaking to you, then your odds are higher that there is still some interest in fixing things, on her part.

Now, if the two of you have a child or some other circumstance that requires you to have to talk to one another, then that doesn’t really count.

The more the lines of communication have been severed, the deeper the hole you have to climb your way out of. A period of no contact may be necessary, to help create some space, and help prevent you from making dumb mistakes before trying to move forward with fixing the broken relationship.

Also, sometimes sex happens after break ups between you and your ex. Usually, this is a positive sign, and that her emotions towards you are still strong. However, if it was a one time thing, she may have just been feeling lonely that night and may not want any part of getting back together.

Yes, it can be quite difficult at times, to gauge whether or not a sign is revealing. As it can also be a one off event, without much significance.

Time and Relationship Status

The longer it has been since the break up, the more difficult it can become to get back together. If it’s something like a year or more, then the odds aren’t so hot.

In fact, one would have to undergo some serious self-improvement and changes to even re-spark any interest from an ex. It can be done, it’s just not a highly likely proposition, and it would take a good deal of time.

People change over time and the things that were right for them at one point in their lives, no longer are. I always recommend and practice doing so in my own life, that I prepare myself to move forward as if the break up is permanent, even if I do end up getting back together with someone.

Emotionally, it just seems to be the right move. I experience other girls and set a new path for my life, regardless whether or not I can or even want to get her back.

What is her current relationship status? What is yours? If you’re both seeing other people, then, things have run their course. A new relationship between the two of you would have to be started from scratch, at some point in the future. If she is with someone else and it seems pretty serious, she’s probably not going to leave that to get back together.

Putting it All Together

The beauty of relationships is how individualized they are. It’s also the reason why, there is no guarantee of getting an ex back, or that’d it even work out in the long run.

On the other hand, there is also a lot of overlap within human relationships, and patterns do begin to emerge which can give you some picture as to what the chances are an ex-girlfriend can be brought back into the fold.

Take the time, to figure out your own situation, and what the pros and cons are. Also, take the time to think deeply as to what you actually want for your life and even if you truly want her back.

Sometimes, we just get so emotionally clouded that it seems like we want an ex-girlfriend back…but we are in fact, just feeling lonely or without a clear path forward. Down the line, we will move on but in the thick of things it can be really confusing.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. Text messaging can be an ideal place to start, because it is so non-intrusive, and not necessarily an overt attempt at trying to win someone back.

Think about it:

  • They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
  • That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
  • You can craft the right message to them.
  • It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Is it Ever Too Late to Get My Ex-Girlfriend Back?

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A common issue in the post-breakup time period for men, is the question of whether or not it is too late to get a ex back in the fold of a relationship. After all, once several months or even year(s) have passed by, the paths of people’s lives have often diverged enough to in a sense make them completely different.

They have different hopes, dreams, relationship needs, or feelings towards how things used to be in the past. In effect, they aren’t the same person, as when the relationship began.

This can be a problem when one person has moved on from a broken relationship and the other person is still hoping that things are salvageable. But when is it too late to get back together with an ex-girlfriend? Is it ever?

Is It Ever Too Late?

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In one sense, no it isn’t ever ‘too late’ to get back with an ex, at least in some circumstances.

There are examples of people divorcing and then getting back together years later…so it is possible. The question of whether it is probable or even desirable is another issue.

One must understand that once a relationship has finished, that iteration of the relationship is gone for good. Meaning that, any reconciliation that may spring from its ashes is essentially a new relationship or at least a new version.

They’re trying to recapture the past, when the underlying fundamentals of their lives, have changed. Of course it’s going to end poorly, if that’s the route a potential couple takes.

Often times what will happen is that, people will get back together without really solving any of the underlying issues of the relationship, and try to make things exactly how they ‘used to be’.

Sorry, time moves forward and people change, and it won’t be the ‘same’. It is possible that it might be better, BUT it won’t be the same relationship.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

These second or third chance relationships are indeed possible. So in a temporal sense, the amount of time isn’t necessarily a hindrance on getting back together with an ex-girlfriend.

However, time does serve to change people and so a long separation can make getting back together extremely unlikely.

For example, in my own personal life, I could not even fathom getting back together with girls I dated 5-10 years ago…it would be insane to me since my relationship needs have changed so much.

It simply wouldn’t work, even if I was still physically attracted to them. Other folks, may have been apart for a long time, but have such similarities that they took a similar path in their lives since the breakup. Thus, it’s almost like they’ve still grown together, in a weird way.

Ask Yourself Why?

Why do you really want to get back with an ex-girlfriend? Yep, this is a serious question, and many folks never even consider it.

Is it really about the relationship or an inability to let go of the past? What has changed? Why will it work out this time? What is happening or not happening in your life that makes you want to consider chasing after a broken relationship?

As men, sometimes we get hung up on going after things will really don’t want deep down, but we still make an attempt anyways.

We don’t like to lose. We don’t like to see girls we’ve dated with other guys. Sometimes we don’t have a direction in our life and so we try to cling to things that were once familiar and felt good (relationships).

However, even with all of our mental justifications, there are a lot of times where we just need to let go and accept the fact that things have changed.

In fact, there are plenty of times where it isn’t even in our best interest to try and patch things up with an ex-girlfriend. For instance, we remember them as a better person, than they actually are.

The longing to get back with her might just be a symptom of something else in your life that you either want or our not taking care of. As of now, it could be lingering in your subconscious, but with some digging you can figure out what exactly it is that you want for yourself.

When Should Giving Up on Reconciliation be Considered?

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The first thing I’d say, is related to what I wrote above. When you’ve had an honest search within yourself and have begun to question this inability to move on.

Is it really about her and the relationship or if it’s just about your and some dissatisfaction with life?

If it’s seeming more and more to be about dissatisfaction with some aspect of your life, then the search should probably turn towards figuring out YOU and not trying to get back together with her.

Next, I would say if you’ve been trying different ways to re-spark things with your ex and she’s not really responding or doesn’t seem to have any interest…then it is probably a good time to begin to move forward.

It doesn’t mean things cannot ever be salvaged, it just might not be possible at this time.

Don’t forget that she also has to do what’s best for her and sometimes that won’t include you. It hurts but that’s part of life, we cannot control other people and their wants and needs. Accept that to be the case and try to be happy for her, even if it feels like shit.

Another reason to consider giving up, is if this whole thing about getting back together is becoming and obsession that is hurting your life. Your life has to be about you.

You cannot ruin it on account of the fact, that you’re no longer dating someone. There are billions of women on this planet and thus statistically there are indeed others available for you. Yes, even better options, if you simply let go of the past attachments.

Secondly, one cannot let the narrative of ‘loneliness’ or ‘happy memories of the past’ dictate how one lives.

The past is gone and we cannot see the future. Let go of the hurt, and explore positive things in life, that you’d like to focus on instead.

Don’t allow yourself to become some pathetic Jay Gatsby character, who still chases after some woman years later, and convinces himself that she’s the greatest thing ever.

The more and more we focus on the past, the less real it becomes. Eventually, we’ve convinced ourselves to how great it was, while ignoring all of the bad or undesirable things that came with it.

We in effect, make up a story and an idealized one at that, in which our ex-girlfriend was a ‘perfect angel’…while an object analysis would prove the opposite.

To sum things up, no it’s not always too late, to get back with an ex. Though, it can indeed be. Different circumstances will come into play based on the individual relationship in question. However, there are definitely times when one is best served by throwing in the towel on trying to revive the relationship and just moving on with one’s life.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back After a Year or Longer

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Time is supposed to heal all wounds. If one lets it do its job, and also makes changes to their lives, it will indeed heal. However, just because time heals wounds doesn’t mean it fixes broken relationships. So, it’s been a year or more apart from one another and you want another shot with her? Is it possible to get an ex-girlfriend to come back to you after that long of a period?

Yes, it certainly is possible. There have been plenty of relationships throughout time in which there was a long break up followed by a reconciliation. Does that make it a good idea to try to make that love connection happen once again? Well, that’s tougher to say. Let’s use this post to explore this long gap in between breakup and potential of getting back together and what’s involved.

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A Soviet Calendar for some reason

First Things First

Before I even get into this post, I want to make it abundantly clear that if it has been over a year since a break up and no reconciliation has happened, it is very unlikely that it will.

As I wrote above, it can happen but that doesn’t mean that the odds are good that it will happen. So much changes in that span of time, that in many ways, her life may be in a completely different space than when the two of you were dating.

Meaning, she’s not really the same person and may want completely different things than you can offer her. I know that sucks to hear but such is life.

Because this is the case, it can be quite a long shot, to hope to fix things. Now, sometimes it works out, because both parties recognize that their current lives and futures, are better spent together than apart. It’s just that this can be a huge hurdle to get over.

Why Do You Want Her Back?

I usually like to pose this question from the outset before even suggesting ways that people can get their ex back.

I do this because, often times, when you get down to the real core of your life and your desires; you will find that what you think you want is really just a symptom of lack.

This desire for the ex can often stem from dissatisfaction with one’s life or how it currently stands. When we find ourselves in this sort of head space, we can begin to clamor for anything that makes us feel better. We feel like our old relationship or some other outside force. will solve our deeper issues.

These solutions can take the form of drugs, escapism, working too much, and indeed chasing relationships.

It is a really good idea to do a full assessment of your life and relationship situation first to see if getting back together with this girl is truly what you want.

Conversely, if you are simply running after a past life, that you have fond memories of.

I say this because most people will be over their exes within a year. It can be very unhealthy to have this Jay Gatsby like obsession for a person you haven’t been together with in a long time.

This doesn’t mean that all circumstances are like that but if you’re holding on to the past this much, it’s time to let go and move forward.

Dig deep, down to the roots of what you want with your life or what you think you want from your life and analyze it. Does she actually offer you something that you cannot get anywhere else?

Are you struggling to meet other women and are falling into the trap of the past? Were things in your relationship that great to begin with? Were the issues between the two of you even fixable?

Keep prodding yourself with these types of questions because the truth of the matter will start to reveal itself and make this an easy choice of, “No, I really don’t want her back. I just need to focus on myself and get my life in order.”

That’s not a bad outcome to this issue at all and even though it hurts to let someone go, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you and prevent you from making the mistake of restarting a doomed relationship.

Regardless of the ultimate outcome of this questioning, it is still a great idea to do it. It will really help to gain clarity about what you want moving forward or if you’re even on the right path at all.

I’ve done this myself after a breakup. Even though I felt like, I wanted my girlfriend back, I honestly couldn’t come up with a truly good reason why. Why should I want her back? Would the new relationship be anything other than mediocre? Was a future with here really better than one, which I could carve out for myself?

After a long and serious meditation on this, I decided that the clear answer was no, to trying to get her back. The immediate relief it would give to my emotional turmoil, wasn’t worth the long-term costs of being in an ultimately broken relationship. It just wasn’t worth salvaging.

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But…but…I Still Want Her Back, What are My Chances?

OK, so once you’ve gone through the whole process of truly figuring out what you want for you life and whether you want to try to make this girl apart of your plans, then you can analyze the barriers to making this a reality.

Yes, I know, more work…but this is what’s involved in making an attempt to reconcile such long broken relationships.

First off, what is your ex’s current relationship status? Does she have a boyfriend? If yes, then your odds are even worse at getting her back then they just were.

Depending on the seriousness of that relationship, she may be gone for good or there might be a chance she could return.

If it’s serious, I would generally recommend just leaving it alone and moving on with your life. I mean, think about it from her current boyfriend’s perspective (just humor me), would you want your girl’s ex sniffing around and trying to mess up things between the two of you? Hell no! So why are you going to be that guy?

So, let’s say that she isn’t seeing anyone or that her dating life is not what you could term as ‘serious’. Congrats! You now have a slightly less shitty chance at getting your ex-girlfriend back.

The odds will obviously depend on other factors such as the cause of the breakup (if you cheated on her and this led to the breakup…you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell), how your life or her life has changed, and how intact the lines of communication still are.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Also, take stock of what has occurred in the past year or more. Has she made any overtures about getting back together? Has she texted or called you, when she didn’t have a clear reason to? Have the two of you hooked-up within the last six months?

On the flip side, has she started a new job or made some other big change in her life? People will often do this sort of thing for a ‘fresh start’, meaning they are trying to move on.

Really give a consideration to things from her end. Has there been any sort of signaling, that she would be open to getting back into a relationship with you? If it’s just been straight radio silence, this is going to be really difficult to pull off.

Whose Idea was This, Anyways?

Another key factor to consider is which one of you initiated the break up. If it was her idea, she probably had a valid reason at the time, however, this reason could become murky after so much time has passed.

This plays to your advantage. Think about it, if she thought that she could do better than you (and failed to find someone) or thought that you weren’t quite up to snuff (and you’ve improved your life, health, status, etc.). Then, she would be much more willing to reconsider things than she perhaps otherwise would.

People always get this idea in their head about how great things are going to be. But often, they don’t make any of the changes needed to make that a reality. Also, when they try, the find out that things really aren’t better. They previously had a good thing and let it falter.

Now, this can of course be detrimental to your cause if she went out into the dating world, and found another guy(s). A guy who she felt was superior to you, in terms of her happiness and comfort.

That’s not a very high percentage of scenarios, as finding a really good partner is difficult, especially within a year.

If you were the one who dumped her, you could be in better standing then if you were the one who got dumped. She might be more willing to reconcile or  be more open to your communications than she would be in another circumstance.

Again, this all depends on certain variables such as the state of her love life and how much of a candle she still holds for you. She may be angry with you still or be entirely open to trying to fix things.

Change? I guess Change is Good for Any of Us…

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Hopefully, in the time that the two of you have been separated, you have made improvements in your life and these improvements are noticeable. The good thing about long times spent apart is that you can drastically alter who you are and who she sees you to be.

Sometimes, these major changes (such as the physical or getting your metaphorical shit together) are enough to shock and get an ex to start thinking about you again.

Plus, why would she want to get back together with you, if all she is going to get is more of the same? The two of you are in different places psychologically and within your lives then when you were together (at least, I hope you are).

This means that you cannot restart the same relationship you had before, as you are different people now! Any relationship that may come about has to be built from the ground up and altered so that the problems of the past don’t come back and haunt you.

You need to make sure that you have addressed any negative issues you may have had or be seriously willing to change them.

For instance, if you had a problem with anger during the relationship and that was a friction causing issue, then it should be corrected before you even consider trying to win her back. On the flip side of that, if she was a source of major frustration for you that is one more red flag that a reconciliation might not be a good idea.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex.

With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

It has so many advantages over calling and/or trying to arrange a face to face meeting, right away. You have time to perfect an initial message and strategy. She has a long time to respond and consider talking to you again.

Plus, it’s such a passive way to send out feelers, to see how she currently feels about you communicating again.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully you took the time to download the two free reports, about What Not to Text Your Ex, earlier in the post. They were written by Mr. Fiore, as a part of his ‘Text Your Ex Back Program’.

This is a program which you can download immediately and has helped thousands of people, pursue reconciliation with an ex.

If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Stop Thinking About My Ex-Girlfriend?

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Thinking can be a great tool to have. Sometimes, it gets out of tight spots, gives us tremendous insights, and can even change the course of our lives for the better. Other times, this useful tool, begins to control our every waking hour. It replays past events like a movie on a constant loop and not even a good movie…one that can haunt us or just make us feel terrible about ourselves.

This can be especially true for us men after we break up with a woman. So many scenarios run through our minds about what could’ve been, what we could’ve done differently or how we can still, maybe, get our ex-girlfriend back.

It’s only natural for this to occur after a breakup, but at some point we need it to stop and be able to move on with our lives (even if we eventually get back together with our ex). The question then begs, how do you stop thinking about her once the relationship ends? What about if she’s sleeping with someone else? Or you’re in another relationship?

Well, boys, let us dig deeper and see if we can’t present some ways to solve this issue.

To The Roots of Thinking

The first thing to recognize is the powerful illusions that thoughts create. Even when we remember events fairly clearly, they are still only our subjective interpretations of what happened, and flawed ones at that.

It gets lonely sometimes

As I said before, memories and thoughts are sort of like films, and films that are highly edited and colored by our emotions and the limited ability of our senses to pick up the data of our surrounding environment.

No matter how rational or certain you take your memories for, they are still always inherently flawed. When interacting with another person (your ex for example), your memory is even more limited. This is because you don’t quite know what she was thinking, feeling, or what she would remember about any given situation.

Add to the fact, that our brains can often conflate two separate events and turn them into one single memory…and you’ve got yourself one highly misleading narrative.

That’s the thing about it, it’s not just having the memories or thoughts pop into our heads, it’s also our interpretation and analysis.

What if this happened instead? What if I’d said this? Oh! Maybe I should call her and say that now…I’m sure she’ll take me back. The narrative story that we create about memories are often the most insidious part of them. We’re natural problem solvers and when we have a major change like a break up happen in our lives, we want to solve the emotional tumult. Thus, it repeats again and again.

The narrative isn’t just limited to trying to resolve problems the relationship faced. There is also the story we tell ourselves about just how damn great she was and how you’ll never meet someone like her again, etc., etc.

Is any of that really true? I’m sure she had some great things about her, however, was it all sunshine and happiness?

No issues? No behavioral problems? No selfishness? Being annoying? Are there not billions of females on the planet? No one is better looking? Nicer? A better partner? You aren’t capable of landing someone else?

Just what is really true about all of these thoughts and memories that are being stirred up?

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Desperation Stinks

Another issue with thoughts is how often they can lead to actions which don’t serve our best interests. Your brain will concoct all sorts of solutions and fail-proof schemes in order to get your ex to come back, and these ideas can have the effect of pushing them further away.

There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a desperate man.

He has no self respect. He treats her as if she is somehow above him, like he is her personal servant. Now, normally men wouldn’t act like this of course, but when our thoughts and emotions are consumed with this idealized vision of our ex-girlfriends…we get into some silly situations.

If your thoughts translate into desperate, clingy, annoying, or hurtful behavior towards your ex-girlfriend, any attraction she may have had left will evaporate really quickly.

It becomes a situation in which to resist what is (the end of the relationship for the time being) is to further impair the odds of it ever being repaired. In essence, you have to be willing to move on completely with your life, whether or not she ever comes back.

Do not let these thoughts and emotions cloud your judgments and force you to make short-sighted moves. You aren’t going to ‘fix’ a broken relationship just like that.

In fact, if reconciliation did take place, it would effectively be a new relationship in order to solve all of the issues the old one had…so accept the fact that the old one is gone either way.

As such, there is no real advantage to begging or trying to go for a quick fix, without really changing anything.

How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex-Girlfriend

OK, so now that we have a brief overview of overthinking and how it can hinder things post-breakup, we can begin to move on to ways to reduce thinking about her.

All of these suggestions are things that I have done in the past to help me stop thinking about ex-girlfriends or even move on from tough life experiences. In fact, I incorporate some of the techniques into my daily life, to help my performance and mental clarity.

Changing reality, at this time (getting the ex to come back and have everything be great again), may not be possible. So, instead of changing reality, we change the way we perceive and think about it. Thus, lessening the strong attachments, we currently feel.

Letting Go

Letting go of thoughts, desires, or relationships can take place either in the here and now or in the long-term. The short-term effect is to interrupt the thought patterns, which sort of retrains the brain to not go down that same road again and again.

Letting go allows for a level of clarity to take hold and an elevation of one’s mood. When I let go in the moment, I no longer need to chase my thoughts, as I am content with what is.

This is the best short video of a technique to let go. I watched this almost everyday for a month or so before meditation sessions and found that it helped immensely. The actual breathing technique is like 5 minutes, so you can fast forward to the six minute mark of the video, if you don’t want the entire explanation:

The great thing about this breathing technique is that it can be done anywhere, once you’ve learned it. I’ve incorporated while at museums, bars, before dates, etc. It’s a fantastic way to start calming oneself down and helping to make the thought patterns more sporadic.

Interrupting thought patterns is a way to set up sort of a beach head and begin to unwind the lock that these persistent thoughts and memories can have on one’s mind.

The above technique is just a warm up for me, I like to do meditation on an almost daily basis, to really get in the habit of ‘no thought’ and disrupting thoughts that have become addictive to my brain.

Any easy way to begin, is to do the breathing technique demonstrated in the video above, and then follow that with a guided meditation video.

Guided meditation will talk you through the basics of meditation until you can progress enough with your ability to clear your mind and do a meditation on your own accord. Here is an excellent video to start with:

The following books may also aid you in being able to clear your head of excess thinking. Each one has helped me immensely along my journey of personal transformation.


Interrupting Routine

Part of being able to stop thinking about someone is to stop dwelling on the past itself. The meditation techniques and book recommendation above are probably enough to help cut off the thinking of an ex-girlfriend entirely.

However, I wanted to incorporate some other things that can help over time as well. Our routines in daily life can become stagnant and seem to bog us down, especially when there’s a major shift in one aspect (relationship).

Things can become stale, we feel like we’ve stopped growing or have any real goals to shoot for.

Since we have to accept the possibility that our ex might not ever get back together with us, we should then follow the post-breakup plan that I have put forth in the past.

It is a mixture of removing as much interaction with your ex-girlfriend as possible, self-development, and dating other women.

The No Contact aspect of this trifecta, helps with the overthinking, with the help of the old adage ‘out of sight, out of mind’.

The less you have to see or speak with her, the less her image will appear in your thoughts. Now, it is obviously a gradual process but I have found that once I’d started meditating and disrupting those thought patterns, it became much easier and less painful to let go of the women I’d been dating.

Self-improvement gives you something else to focus your energy on. If you don’t have jack shit going on in your life, then of course a break up is going to linger for a long while, your brain is sitting idle.

Physical, mental, emotional, social…all of them. Pick something to move towards, with your eyes forward, it becomes hard to focus on the past.

I like to start dating other women almost right away, nowadays. Granted I’ve gotten myself to a really good place psychologically and am able to deal with things in a much healthier and non-self destructive way, so maybe I can get away with moving forward faster than other guys can.

However, I’ve found that dating other girls helps to really get rid of the total focus on one person, who I’m no longer together with.

Right after a break up, I might even be a little less picky because even the bad dates have a positive impact on me. In the sense that they make me say, “Thank God I’m single and not together with her”.

Meanwhile, the good dates are a reminder that I still have value as a man and there are other attractive women out there.

In closing, to forget about an ex, I:

Cut off the constant stimulus of seeing/speaking to her

Interupt thought patterns with meditation and letting go techniques

Give myself other things to focus on with a massive self-development plan

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back After Begging

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You may have found yourself in a sort of post-breakup no man’s land. There was a period of emotional turmoil and weakness and you begged for an ex-girlfriend to come back into the fold of a relationship. Judging by the fact that you’re searching online for answers, it must not have worked out in your favor.

That’s okay, I think all of us have been in this same situation before. One of the major issues with using this sort of gambit is that it does nothing to address what the problems of the relationship was, it just goes straight to ‘let’s get back together now!’.

Also, it puts one in a position of chasing, desperation, and lowering of value in the girl’s eyes. With that in mind, is it still a possibility of winning her back after begging and getting turned down?

Yes, there is still hope but that doesn’t always mean that this outcome is probably. Let us take a closer look at the act of begging an ex-girlfriend and how to proceed and recover after employing this tactic.

Understanding Things After Begging Her

A major dynamic of relationships is based on value perception. So, when you first start dating someone, they tend to think the world of you…you have a high level of perceived value in their eyes.

After the relationship ends, this value is lower than what’s necessary to make the relationship work. This can be due to various factors that were at the root cause of the break up such as lying, cheating, or any other host of issues.

If she was the one who decided to dump the relationship, this value perception has shifted even more toward her favor. If she was the only one who felt that the relationship needed to end and is no longer needed in her life, then she has the power of choice.

Meaning, she gets to negotiate from a position of strength or simply gets to move on.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after the break up, the power dynamics and how she perceives you has changed.

With this being the case, when a guy goes begging to get his ex-girlfriend back and she has an already lowered perceived value of him, is pleading for her back going to help him succeed in actually getting her back?

Nope. She will either consciously or unconsciously have a lowered perception of value of the guy after he begs. The woman can prepare herself to move forward with her life and feel secure in knowing that she can get the man back whenever she wants. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.

It gets lonely sometimes

It gets lonely sometimes

Why is this a bad thing? Humans have a tendency to place a high value on things that are rare and not easily obtained, such as certain gems, that have no real practical value beyond decoration.

It isn’t a turn no for women to have a guy they already know well, who doesn’t have the mysterious excitement of something new, get down on his knees and beg. Some of them might get a bit of thrill from the sense of power that comes with being begged for but it certainly isn’t an attractive turn on.

Think of some other traits, such as being too available or needy. Having wild emotional/mood swings. Not being able to let go and move on with one’s life. Being obsessed and chasing something that used to exist.

Are any of these attractive qualities? No, so why would a girl want to come back to a guy who is displaying these sorts of qualities to her?

Desperation is fundamentally unattractive to both women and men. This is true whether approaching a new woman at a bar or with a girl you’ve dated for years, it always puts people off.

Does this Relationship Need to Be Recovered?

Not all breakups are created equal. Not all relationships need to be restarted after they’ve been broken. This is the next question that needs to be posited, should a reconciliation even be attempted?

The vast majority of relationships that we have in life, aren’t going to work out. They may be really close to ideal but still have something that just doesn’t quite fit.

The problem is, people tend to lose objectivity, and their decisions get clouded by strong emotions. They either try or actually do get back together with someone who isn’t quite ‘right’ for them, solely because they don’t like feeling lonely.

I take the same tact at the end of every relationship, I allow myself some time to feel bad, get myself together, and think about whether or not I need to try to get back together with the girl or not.

Also, each time I prepare myself to be ready for the relationship to end for good. Even if I’m attempting to get back together with an ex, I still make preparations, that things are really done completely with her.

As individuals, we must accurately assess the reality of the situation and be able to come to the conclusion that best fits our circumstances. Is it worth trying to fix this broken relationship? Are we currently just too emotional or feeling like we have no direction in life?

There still remains all of the issues that the broken relationship had, that don’t just go away because an agreement to get back together happens. Are these issues actually fixable?

Are there changes that you’re willing to make to accommodate the relationship? Is she willing to do the same? Deep down, is getting back together even actually what you truly desire?

Just because a relationship is good, doesn’t mean that it’ll ever be great or worth keeping around. If there is a lot of doubt and confusion about what to do after taking the time to think about it, the best bet may be to move on.

Honestly assessing things, is a great way to help discover, whether we just have attachments that we don’t want to get over or if it something worth saving.

Take time out, with as few emotions involved as possible, to ask yourself these questions and any others that are relevant. Doing so, may save you a ton of time in chasing, something that you don’t actually want.

Can She Be Gotten Back After Begging?

Sure it’s definitely possible in some cases to get a girl to come back to you, after she’s lost attraction post-begging.  Now, is it probable?

That depends on a number of variables that is going to be unique to your own situation. Also, it could be a long-term process and with enough time spent apart, you may come to realize that you don’t even want to be back together with her.

You may still have feelings for her but find that it is best to not be with her for whatever reason(s).

The likelihood of her coming back is going to depend on how much damage was done in the post-breakup period or during the end of the relationship itself.

For instance, if you were cheating, then it’s going to be a hard sell to get her to want to come back. For some guys reading this, there are circumstances that are a pretty easy fix. For others, it’s a dim chance.

As always in relationships, it’s not always just about you. The woman has her own life, desires, worries, and plans for the future. These may or may not include you. So, even if you do everything correctly, she may decide that she want no part of it.

This is another reason why we work on accepting whatever outcome may come from the process. As, we cannot control all of the variables, outside of ourselves.

Raising Your Value

OK, so damage has been done to your level of attractiveness in her eyes, and how much of a ‘catch’ you appear to be. In order to reverse the trend, some changes are obviously going to need to be made.

These changes come in the form of how you interact with her (or don’t), your physical attractiveness, your lifestyle improvements, and your social/dating growth. I wrote about all of that in this post: How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Chase You

The specific improvements needed, will depend on the guy. For some of you, there are emotional issues to work through. Other guys, need to control their anger, or learn to trust other people.

For many guys, this can come in the form of getting better in terms of physical appearance, lifestyle, job or social status. A lot of relationships can end, because the woman feels like the guy hasn’t reached his potential in some way. Things started off promising and later became stagnant.

If a woman has no reason to find a man attractive, she is not going to pursue him, nor will she be excited about being pursued. It’ll be more of an annoyance, of someone she used to date trying to ‘fix’ things.

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The self-improvement kick, should last well into the actual process of trying to get back together with the ex-girlfriend But, plenty of work should be done during a period of no contact.

Taking a month or two from trying to pursue her, after you’ve begged, is probably a good idea. Yes, begging can hurt chances in the short-term, but in the long term it matters much less than what you can offer the other person.

I mean, if you someone who getting back together with will greatly improve her life, would she not take the opportunity because you once begged? Of course not. The key is righting the ship and recovering as a better version of yourself.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex Girlfriend Moved On So Fast

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So your breakup happened and then in what seems like a really rapid amount of time, your ex-girlfriend is involved with another guy. Now, this ‘relationship’ may be serious, it may be a rebound, or it could simply be a fling. Nevertheless, seeing someone who your were just with and loved or cared deeply for move on with another guy can hurt bad. How did she find someone else this quickly, while you’re still aching from the end of the relationship? In this post, I want to explore how girls get past a break up (at least externally) this fast, whether it’s weeks or months.

She Moved on So Quickly…Time Ain’t Always What It Seems

On the surface, you had a break up with your girlfriend and then a few days, weeks, or a month later…she’s already with someone or multiple someone else’s.

The truth of the matter is that, if she broke up with you, then she probably had it planned out well in advance. Not only that, unless she went out or met guys off of Tinder, she probably had an exit strategy that involved other guy(s).

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

You have to understand that women often have plenty of options available to them, even when they are involved in a relationship.

They may flirt a bit and keep these guys around as ‘just friends’ until that break up finally happens and they can quickly set up plans to see these dudes.

These guys can be thought of as orbiters or satellites. They move around in her orbit, until she selects them to do something with, after her relationship fails.

It can be a short-term fling or a swinging to a ‘new branch’, when she thinks a new guy presents a better option for her life. As such, we can never even see it coming when they have a new guy line up, in short order after a break up.

As men, we will many times, either have no other options or cut off all of the other women in our lives that could serve this same role.

So, when a relationship ends we don’t have the same network (or even ability) to quickly replace the one we just lost. One could even theorize, that if we did have even the threat of back up options to move on with, it would change the behavior of many women.

This is because, they may fear another woman having their man even more, versus just him being single and alone…oh yeah, human interactions can be pretty screwed up.

I’ve heard this type of behavior referred to as ‘branch-swinging’. Much like a monkey swinging from branch to branch, she has a hold of another option before letting go of her previous boyfriend.

Again, this isn’t always the case, sometimes she goes out with her friends and finds a guy at the bar or club or the aforementioned dating apps. A new guy, may be completely random after a break up, she may have other guys already, or some combination of both.

Women who are even semi-decent looking, can get as many guys as they want. Maybe not always the ‘exact guy’ they desire, but in terms of volume, it’s on a whole different level than what we can attract as men.

When she has so many potential options at her disposal, if she only tries or has her friends pull in guys for her, it is no wonder that women often get to move on quicker than men.

The new guy or guys can be used as a way to divert attention from the breakup, as well. If she has other guys to focus on, it can make her feel less lonely than she otherwise would in such a scenario.

It’s kind of like kicking a drug habit by weaning yourself of it with a less powerful drug. But, this strategy may also fail completely. Why? Because it just masks any emotional turmoil that may be boiling underneath the surface…which makes you ‘feel’ fine, until it doesn’t.

This is especially true if her relationship with you was a serious and long-term one. After a breakup, there is a void in people’s lives, in which the old relationship used to stand.

One expects to see their ex everyday, but it doesn’t happen, and then they feel empty about it. This can be excruciating to get through and for some people they turn to finding new partners, in order to cope with the loss.

As such, rebound relationships are born.

Whether it works out in the long-term or not is almost completely random for many women. Why? Because most people, don’t ever address their true underlying feelings or wants, and just try to paper over anything negative in their lives. This leads to quick fix ‘relationships’ that can fail faster than the one with the guy, she broke up with (you in this scenario).

Is the Rebound Relationship Serious?

Maybe. Then again, he might just be a temporary placeholder to make her feel better before she moves on with her life.

f she’s taken the opposite tact and has multiple guys she’s seeing, then of course it’s not serious BUT she might be in that mode of dating for a while. This means it’s doubtful she’ll want to get involved in another serious and exclusive relationship.

If she’s now together with one guy and it’s exclusive. Then the seriousness is dependent on a few factors such as how long they’ve been together and how long it would take her to get over the relationship that she had with you.

If you were together for only a few months and she’s been together with him for a few months…it’s probably pretty serious.

There are some scenarios in which an ex-girlfriend will be together with someone almost immediately following the breakup.

In that case, it was almost always planned out in advance of the breakup with her ex. The relationship she moves into may not be serious but there was at least enough attraction to get her to fully commit to getting out of her previous one.

Don’t ever beat yourself up over this situation. It has probably happened to just about every guy out there, who has had a relationship. Society and culture has changed to the extent, that it has become pretty damn difficult, to avoid scenarios such as this one.

What To Do Now?

Things will be all right. It’ll just hurt like a bitch for a while. Here are some of my posts about moving on from relationships and dealing with it:

Keep in mind that women in general, have a greater ability than we do to move on with someone else after a break up. It’s simply one of our disadvantages.

It doesn’t mean that the relationship is definitely over forever but it’s not a great sign and one should always prepare for the most likely scenario. Plus, once we get past this initial hurt, it is easier to come to realize that we came out ahead and didn’t actually lose as much as we thought we did.

Man, when I think about the women who dumped me 10 years ago or so, I am extremely grateful that it happened that way. I’d hate to be in a miserable relationship, just to have saved myself a few months of emotional pain.

Like, I couldn’t even imagine being with any of them right now. They could all ask me to get back together with them and I would probably laugh in their faces…it’d be absolutely stupid. Oh, and I know for a fact, some of them are still single.

View this as an opportunity to shake things up in your life. Focus on self-improvement, health, mental happiness, travel, start new career, or hobbies.

Break ups hurt but aren’t the end of the world. There is so much that one can do and experience in the world, when he is single. I mean, I think most men are at their absolute best in terms of accomplishments, when they don’t have anyone holding them back.

Not only does self-improvement make one’s life better and more fulfilling. It also has the effect of attracting more women in the future, so, if one relationship doesn’t work out…there will always be other options coming down the pike.

I wrote a Kindle ebook about this very topic of self-improvement and becoming the desirable man to women. Check it out and read the first bit of it for free in the preview below.

Either way, you cannot live your life by focusing on what an ex-girlfriend is doing. This attachment and anger, needs to be let go of.

You had your run with her, you both have changed enough that the relationship is no longer valid, now grow from the experience and make your life better.

When you take the time to focus on you and what you want from your life moving forward, she becomes irrelevant. If you’ve had other women in the past, do you still care what they’re doing? Honestly, how many times do they still cross your mind?

At some point, this current woman you’re upset about, will just be another of your past girlfriends. In the future, it may not even feel real in your memory, that you ever dated her or even tripped about her moving on to another guy. This is the way of life, just don’t let the short-term, drag you down for a long count.

Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

My Ex-Girlfriend Told Me to Move On

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OK, so, the break up happened and now your ex is practically shouting at you to move on with your life. “Just forget about me” she says or she is dating someone else and wants you to stop clamoring for how things used to be. What is a guy to do when he finds himself in such a situation?

Well, there is the old adage, hope for the best but prepare for the worst and that is always an attitude you should take into any post-breakup scenario. The caveat being that, what you currently think is best (getting her back) isn’t always the case, and one needs to explore the possibilities of his own life moving forward.

What’s Your Situation? Does She Mean It?

She’s already said to forget about her and move on with your life. As such, you should take that at face value, that the relationship has now concluded and will not be reconciled. Is that always the case?

No, sometimes, women will have a change of heart but at this point in a break up it is usually a low percentage shot of that happening.

Now the specific situation depends on a number of variables such as if she is with another guy or if you did something especially egregious such as cheating with another woman, which has generated a lot of hate towards you.

The more factors such as these that are in play, the lower the odds of getting back together are, it’s just the way it goes.

However, even if the breakup seemed to come out of the blue and you can’t pinpoint a specific fault on your own end, the relationship might be doomed anyways.

Women generally don’t make these types of decisions on a whim and usually have an exit plan well in advance of actual separation.

Also, you need to factor in the length of time it has been since she dumped you. For instance, if she tells you to move on almost immediately after a breakup, there is a greater chance that she is acting on pure emotion and the statement might not be a concrete truth (although, it might).

However, if it’s been many weeks, months, or even years…then you really do need to get on with your life.

In any scenario, I still tend to just take what she says at face value, and reconsider that if I’m get overt signals from her that she didn’t actually mean it.

The best course of action has always seemed to me, to always to prepare myself for the total end of a relationship, even when it doesn’t come to pass. If I have an opportunity at reconciliation later, and that’s what I still want, then I can pursue that. Plus, I’ll be in a better position in my life, to do so.

Here’s Your Sign to Leave Her Alone

If you are getting no signs of a possible reconciliation and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture, is going to push her further away. Thus, she becomes more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought.

If you’ve evaluated your personal situation and the chances of getting back together are looking slim to none, then that means they usually are.

This is a very hard truth to face and some guys just refuse to ever comes to terms with this new change in their lives. It is not the end of the world, it is simply a new phase in your life.

There are like 4 billion females on the planet, so the odds are definitely in all of our favor, that we can literally find dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of better options than our ex-girlfriends depending on how much effort we are willing to put forth.

There was a time in your life before you knew her and dated her and there will be a time after…and YES, this time can be even better…I’ve been dumped multiple times and while it hurts, I always come back stronger.

Heck, I wrote a whole Kindle book about coming out of that turmoil, becoming stronger, better, and having many more women as a result:

Remember, girls can’t make you happy. They can enhance your life and create a feeling of dependence but they can never make you happy, only you can.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship. Thus, we must work to move forward without her.

Do You Actually Want Her Back? Or, Taking Her Advice, and Moving On without Her.

Try to set your emotion and ego aside for a minute. What do you honestly miss about her? Get down to the roots of your attachment to this chick and ask yourself some questions.

What does she specifically provide that you could not get from any other girl? The pull of emotions is quite strong after a breakup and the clarity that comes with time passed and positive changes can have us feeling quite different about things.

For example, if you’re a guy who’s had several breakups in the past, do you still miss some girl you dated in high school? College?

These old girls rarely if ever cross my mind and I know that I’ll probably have at least a few more of these types of breakups at some point in my life. Am I going to let my life go to shit each time a woman has a change in heart? Hell no!

This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

  • Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
  • Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason.
  • Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
  • You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar and feels safe.
  • You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.
  • You don’t have a ready alternative available
  • Your ego is making it hard to let go

If you find yourself in a place in which your ex specifically tells you to move on with your life, you should definitely heed her words, and you’ll probably be thankful later that you did.

Sometimes, a breakup is the surest way to avoid a train wreck later, go read some divorce horror stories online if you don’t believe me. Yes, it’s going to suck getting through the emotional turmoil and loneliness but that’s part of being human…but it gets better.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

So, after taking time by abiding by her wishes and leaving her be, assess the situation. What do you actually want?

Is she the right fit or merely a good one? Is there any real chance of getting back together? After all, both parties will have to buy into any new relationship. And it would be a new relationship, because the old one failed.

What would change? What would be better in any potentially new relationship? What are the problems that she brings to the relationship? What about yours?

What do you honestly want to be doing with your life in 5 years? Would she even fit into those plans? Or would things be okay for a while, before another break up took place?

Take time and honestly think about those questions.

In the mean time, during the period of No Contact, make serious efforts to work on your life, emotional, and physical well-being.  During these highly emotional times, one must be active in ensuring, that you get better, and not get dragged down into a dark place mentally.