Category Archives: Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

It isn’t enough for you to want somebody back after a breakup, they have to want to come back. Getting someone to want to do something, especially an ex-girlfriend, is no small order. She currently might not like you, might not be talking to you, or frankly thinks that you are now boring or a waste of her time.

Before we delve into some tactics that can perhaps change her mind about you, I just want to again reiterate that some relationships are really over, no matter what one tries to do in order to save or restart them. It’s just one of those things we have to deal with in life that isn’t pleasant to accept.

Stop with the Contact for a Time, If You’re Still Talking

In a lot of these situations, the girl is doing the favor for us, by not texting/calling/talking, which creates that distinct separation from one another.

The problem is, that guys don’t take the hint, and try to convince his way back into her good graces. The beg, plead, manipulate, and even insult their ex-girlfriends in some desperate attempt to win her back. 

We think that we are helping matter by providing our case, but that’s not what is actually going on. I remember when I was young, trying to get ex-girlfriends back this way, and it never worked. Not once.

 

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

 

You’re trying to negotiate from a position of weakness. There’s nothing really to offer her, at this time, that would appeal to her. She’s had that relationship and it didn’t fulfill some need(s). 

What is interesting, is that with one girlfriend in particular who dumped me, was when I stopped trying and flipped things around…she started wanting me.

So, she broke up with me. I panicked trying to get her back. Then, I began ignoring her. She would still occasionally try to come over for sex, because she felt lonely, and I turned her down each time.

This drove her nuts. I started seeing other women and improving my life. This made her question her decision to dump me and she began making suggestions that we hang out and fix things.

By that time, I was over her, and moved on. 

Now, this isn’t how it always plays out, and there are different variations in which the guy will have to reach out for first contact. However, I’ve never had reconciliation become an option, by coming from a position of weakness (begging and texting all of the time).

Cutting off communication can be absolutely crucial, as it promotes absence (which makes the heart grow fonder), and allows for healing and mental clarity to begin.

Of course, there are certain situations in which communication is still necessary, like if you have kids with this woman.

However, in those situations, keep things cordial but all about the necessary communication. For example, what time the kids need to be picked up, and not about ‘us and our relationship’.

 

I See No Changes

When a relationship ends, the one thing that seems like a bad idea to me is staying exactly the same. Not only does not improving yourself make it more difficult to move on from the breakup, it also makes it harder to get your ex’s attention back.

Think about it, why would she start paying attention to you again, if you are exactly the same when she left or like in many cases, getting worse?

Now, making positive changes in your life is not only about getting your ex-girlfriend back, it is also about making your life what you want it to be and to be able to attract other potential women in the future.

The broken relationship is a known quantity. She knows what to expect and the reasons why it ultimately failed. If there is nothing that has changed, propping things up as being a ‘new’ start, isn’t going to stop the relationship from collapsing once again. 

Essentially, one has to create a better life and self, that stimulates the desire to want to buy back in. It’s not always a quick process, but it can be super effective.

Once some time apart has passed, serious changes are made, then we can re-establish contact with an ex and build a new relationship. 

These changes can take many forms, but I first want to focus on a few basic ones, that are easiest to implement.

Physical

The physical component of a relationship is a huge factor in making attraction work. This is an easy place to start because physical appearance is the first thing that we notice about people.

The amount of muscle, fat, hair, style of clothes, and more…all have a huge effect on how someone gets treated. Don’t believe me? Take a look at how people react to a homeless man versus a handsome and well-groomed man in a suit. It’s like night and day.

Women are just as attracted to physical traits, as men are. People who claim otherwise are generally full of it. I’ve known countless women to say something to the effect of, ‘being a sucker for’ or ‘drooling’ when they see a man with well-developed abs. 

If you are a guy who is currently overweight, taking the necessary steps to get into great shape can indeed grab attention from you ex as well as other women.

When I started lifting weights and shredding fat, the amount of new attention that I received from women was ridiculous. It’s kind of jarring at first, when there’s just a surge in women, who flirt with you when you go out. Not because there’s anything inherently different about you, other than body composition. 

Also, because it gives you another thing to focus your attention on, I have found that it can help alleviate some of the loneliness that is felt after a woman leaves.

It doesn’t just have to be about getting into shape (if you already are really fit), you can also change a million other things about your physical appearance (and you may not have to at all, you handsome bastard :D) but doing so is the most obvious and can honestly have a profound impact for some guys.

Mental/Emotional

Another aspect of improvement in the post-breakup period should consist of mental and emotional growth as a person. This type of change isn’t quite as apparent as the physical, however, it can many times address the underlying problems that your girlfriend had with you.

• Were you prone to anger?
• Jealous?
• Emotionally distant?
• Didn’t give her enough romantic attention?

Obviously, there were reasons for the failure of the relationship, and your time apart from her is the perfect time to consider your part in its demise. In long-term relationships, people can easily grow apart from one another and if it continues unchecked, then a breakup is very likely to happen.

If she dumped you, then you must consider the why behind that decision, even if it isn’t comfortable for you to do so. Try to take your emotions out of it, and think rationally, about why she no longer wanted to be with you.

Many times, it isn’t as a complex of a problem as it might seem at first. For instance, if she wanted to start seeing other guys (or is already), she may have grown tired about your lack of attention towards her or fulfilling her emotional needs or yes, even failing to meet her sexual desires.

These issues can manifest themselves in numerous ways but they all usually boil down to something basic that you failed to deliver in the relationship.

It always helps to pay attention to what women don’t say directly, paying attention to her body language and what she hints at while you’re together, will often provide huge warning signs that something is amiss in the relationship.

When these sorts of emotions start to pop up in her mind, it is going to be an issue for the two of you being together at some point, if the problems aren’t remedied.

She may just want a clean break from you, or she may go on to another man ,who will provide what she is lacking in her life.

Either way, when she initiates a break up, it boils down to something that you did or something that you didn’t do, most of the time.

Identifying what you can fix or improve on is the first step towards trying to reconcile at a later time. If you did something to violate her trust (like cheating), then it is going to be a much more difficult road to haul than perhaps something like not giving her enough attention or not appreciating her enough.

You need to figure out what these problems were during the period of no contact, after the breakup…this allows you to get multiple things at once done:

• get yourself together
• give her space
• make changes
• let her imagination wonder about how you’re handling things, doesn’t allow you to come off as desperate and needy by over-texting, begging, and calling her constantly, etc.

 

Social/Life’s Purpose

There’ no guarantee that you can get back a girl 100% of the time. There’s too many variables that are outside of our control, which can complicate things, and cause the relationship to be over for good.

As such, it is important to take the time after a relationship to improve yourself and life, but not just in hopes to get back the girl. It is a move that should be implemented no matter what the ultimate outcome is, so that, we can move ahead with ease and enjoyment.

Whether or not, we are dating a certain woman, doesn’t mean that our lives have to stop progressing. When a serious relationship ends, it always feels like the end of the world, but it really is just a shake up of our perceived normalcy. We grew accustomed to that routine, so shaking that addiction to it can be tough.

Beyond just improving my looks and getting myself in a good mental space, I would always strive to improve my social life and recommit to my overall life goals and passions. Whether or not she wanted to be apart of my life, there are certain things that don’t involve her, and are solely for me. 

The thing is, making these changes also serves to make me more attractive, which is why certain girls came back around to fix things. So what does this entail?

For me, when I became emotionally ready, I would start doing new social activities, try to make new friends, and even dating other women. 

Dating other women wasn’t always something that I pursued, but when I knew my ex was seeing other guys (or suspected it), then I would definitely put myself back on the market.

When my exes saw me with other women or found out somehow that I was dating, it would almost inevitably spark some jealousy or interest in what I was doing.

If other women wanted me, it was like a sort of signal, that the ex had missed something about me. It depends on the situation, but seeing women casually, can definitely help with clarity about what you want with your life moving forward.

I will usually just fire up the old online dating apps and get some quick dates under my belt, to help me see that there are indeed other options out there.

While doing that, I decide what path I’m going to chart for myself and my future. Do I need to shake up my current situation? Do I need to buckle down on one of my business opportunities or create new website ideas? What can I do to improve the enjoyment that I get from my life, without her?

What’s Next?

After a period of no contact….about 30-60 days or so…you should have figured out what the issues were and have an idea as to how you can improve yourself and fix your end of the relationship.

Of course, there is still no guarantee that if you change, she will come running back to you. She may, in fact, want to move on with her life and you need to ultimately respect those wishes and get on with your own as well.

If they do not contact you first, after a month or more apart from each other with no contact and you working on yourself, then it may be time to consider opening a dialogue with them.

When you get to this point, however, you must be absolutely certain that you do indeed want them back and are accepting of the fact that there is no guarantee that they will get back together with you.

You need to have better reasons to get back together with someone, other than simply, missing them or being hurt without them. That’s just missing an addiction and not the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Do the pros of being together with this person really outweigh the cons enough to invest that kind of time and energy into trying to make it work?

There are plenty of people out there who are good fits for each other but those who are truly great fits are few and far between. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who this person truly is.

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

So your breakup happened and then in what seems like a really rapid amount of time, your ex-girlfriend is involved with another guy. Now, this ‘relationship’ may be serious, it may be a rebound, or it could simply be a fling.

Nevertheless, seeing someone who your were just with and loved or cared deeply for move on with another guy can hurt bad.

How did she find someone else this quickly, while you’re still aching from the end of the relationship?

In this post, I want to explore how girls get past a break up (at least externally) this fast, whether it’s weeks or months.

She Moved on So Quickly…Time Ain’t Always What It Seems

On the surface, you had a break up with your girlfriend and then a few days, weeks, or a month later…she’s already with someone or multiple someone else’s.

The truth of the matter is that, if she broke up with you, then she probably had it planned out well in advance. Not only that, unless she went out or met guys off of Tinder, she probably had an exit strategy that involved other guy(s).

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

You have to understand that women often have plenty of options available to them, even when they are involved in a relationship.

They may flirt a bit and keep these guys around as ‘just friends’ until that break up finally happens and they can quickly set up plans to see these dudes.

It’s not always the case, but this happens quite often.

These guys can be thought of as orbiters or satellites. They move around in her orbit, until she selects them to do something with, after her relationship fails.

It can be a short-term fling or a swinging to a ‘new branch’, when she thinks a new guy presents a better option for her life. As such, we can never even see it coming when they have a new guy line up, in short order after a break up.

As men, we will many times, either have no other options or cut off all of the other women in our lives that could serve this same role.

So, when a relationship ends we don’t have the same network (or even ability) to quickly replace the one we just lost. One could even theorize, that if we did have even the threat of back up options to move on with, it would change the behavior of many women.

This is because, they may fear another woman having their man even more, versus just him being single and alone…oh yeah, human interactions can be pretty screwed up.

I’ve heard this type of behavior referred to as ‘branch-swinging’. Much like a monkey swinging from branch to branch, she has a hold of another option before letting go of her previous boyfriend.

Again, this isn’t always the case, sometimes she goes out with her friends and finds a guy at the bar or club or the aforementioned dating apps.

A new guy, may be completely random after a break up, she may have other guys already, or some combination of both.

Women who are even semi-decent looking, can get as many guys as they want. Maybe not always the ‘exact guy’ they desire, but in terms of volume, it’s on a whole different level than what we can attract as men.

When she has so many potential options at her disposal, if she only tries or has her friends pull in guys for her, it is no wonder that women often get to move on quicker than men.

The new guy or guys can be used as a way to divert attention from the breakup, as well. If she has other guys to focus on, it can make her feel less lonely than she otherwise would in such a scenario.

It’s kind of like kicking a drug habit by weaning yourself of it with a less powerful drug. But, this strategy may also fail completely. Why? Because it just masks any emotional turmoil that may be boiling underneath the surface…which makes you ‘feel’ fine, until it doesn’t.

This is especially true if her relationship with you was a serious and long-term one. After a breakup, there is a void in people’s lives, in which the old relationship used to stand.

One expects to see their ex everyday, but it doesn’t happen, and then they feel empty about it. This can be excruciating to get through and for some people they turn to finding new partners, in order to cope with the loss.

As such, rebound relationships are born.

Whether it works out in the long-term or not is almost completely random for many women. Why? Because most people, don’t ever address their true underlying feelings or wants, and just try to paper over anything negative in their lives.

This leads to quick fix ‘relationships’ that can fail faster than the one with the guy, she broke up with (you in this scenario).

Is the Rebound Relationship Serious?

Maybe. Then again, he might just be a temporary placeholder to make her feel better before she moves on with her life.

If she’s taken the opposite tact and has multiple guys she’s seeing, then of course it’s not serious BUT she might be in that mode of dating for a while. This means it’s doubtful she’ll want to get involved in another serious and exclusive relationship.

If she’s now together with one guy and it’s exclusive. Then the seriousness is dependent on a few factors such as how long they’ve been together and how long it would take her to get over the relationship that she had with you.

If you were together for only a few months and she’s been together with him for a few months…it’s probably pretty serious.

There are some scenarios in which an ex-girlfriend will be together with someone almost immediately following the breakup.

In that case, it was almost always planned out in advance of the breakup with her ex. The relationship she moves into may not be serious but there was at least enough attraction to get her to fully commit to getting out of her previous one.

Don’t ever beat yourself up over this situation. It has probably happened to just about every guy out there, who has had a relationship. Society and culture has changed to the extent, that it has become pretty damn difficult, to avoid scenarios such as this one.

What To Do Now?

Things will be all right. It’ll just hurt like a bitch for a while. Here are some of my posts about moving on from relationships and dealing with it:

• How to Deal with Loneliness
• How to Move On from an Ex
• Stop thinking about an Ex-Girlfriend

Keep in mind that women in general, have a greater ability than we do to move on with someone else after a break up. It’s simply one of our disadvantages.

It doesn’t mean that the relationship is definitely over forever but it’s not a great sign and one should always prepare for the most likely scenario.

Plus, once we get past this initial hurt, it is easier to come to realize that we came out ahead and didn’t actually lose as much as we thought we did.

Man, when I think about the women who dumped me 10 years ago or so, I am extremely grateful that it happened that way. I’d hate to be in a miserable relationship, just to have saved myself a few months of emotional pain.

Like, I couldn’t even imagine being with any of them right now. They could all ask me to get back together with them and I would probably laugh in their faces…it’d be absolutely stupid. Oh, and I know for a fact, some of them are still single.

View this as an opportunity to shake things up in your life. Focus on self-improvement, health, mental happiness, travel, start new career, or hobbies.

Break ups hurt but aren’t the end of the world. There is so much that one can do and experience in the world, when he is single. I mean, I think most men are at their absolute best in terms of accomplishments, when they don’t have anyone holding them back.

Not only does self-improvement make one’s life better and more fulfilling. It also has the effect of attracting more women in the future, so, if one relationship doesn’t work out…there will always be other options coming down the pike.

Either way, you cannot live your life by focusing on what an ex-girlfriend is doing. This attachment and anger, needs to be let go of.

You had your run with her, you both have changed enough that the relationship is no longer valid, now grow from the experience and make your life better.

When you take the time to focus on you and what you want from your life moving forward, she becomes irrelevant.

If you’ve had other women in the past, do you still care what they’re doing?

Honestly, how many times do they still cross your mind?

At some point, this current woman you’re upset about, will just be another of your past girlfriends. In the future, it may not even feel real in your memory, that you ever dated her or even tripped about her moving on to another guy.

This is the way of life, just don’t let the short-term, drag you down for a long count.

One of the major worries that guys have when following the No Contact Rule or being apart from the ex-girlfriends for so long, is that, she will now forget that he exists.  Sure, I can understand feeling this way (and have myself), when you are emotionally vulnerable after a breakup.

Thoughts such as, If I don’t text her now, she’ll never know how I feel and that’ll be the end of us.

However, this may or may not be the case. Your ex might still be thinking about you a lot or she might actively be trying to move on with her life. Understand that, either situation is out of your direct control, and all you can do is follow the best course of action.

Even some of the best attempts at winning an ex back, will fail because that other person, really does want to get on with their lives.

In this post, I want to break down this fear and how I would approach this situation.

Your Relationship IS Over, as it is No Longer So

A breakup is the end of a relationship. Meaning, that paradigm or context that it once existed in, is no longer there.

In my view, when you actually do get back together with someone, it is a new relationship because things aren’t going to back to exactly the same way they once were.

Feelings change, people explore life without their partners, people develop new ideas about what they want from their relationships, etc.

People are not always static in their desires, the same woman you met when she was 20, is now different and has different needs now that she is 25.

Once you can accept this idea, it becomes clear that she might not always come back, and you should prepare to get through this change yourself and branch out to other options in your own life.

No matter what the circumstances are, it is a good idea to prepare yourself to move forward, even if you do end up getting back together with her.

It’s a great way not to get caught in static life situation and be able to move forward with less trouble.

The reason you go No Contact, is to allow one another to have space to operate on your own and without emotional interference.

Strong feelings of loneliness or a desire to get back together with her, are extremely common after a break up. However, those feelings are not always ‘real’, in that, you don’t truly want to be with her, it’s just that the emotions are so intense at the moment.

It is part of the healing process that occurs when you lose someone close to you and depending on your level of experience or the seriousness of the relationship it can take plenty of time to get past.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What About the Post No Contact Period? Will She Forget Me, Then, If We Don’t Talk?

Again, the answer is maybe. It depends on your unique situation and the feelings of the girl who you were with. Most of the time, the answer is no, as it takes time to really get over someone.

Plus, not talking can have the opposite effect, as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If, you are trying to reestablish contact after a time apart and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere with her, then it may be time for you to strongly consider moving on completely.

Over the longer haul, many months or a year later for instance, women will often come back around. It happened for me this way, multiple times.

The question is often, at that point, do you even want them back?

If it’s been a long period of time, it is probably going to be a long rebuilding process anyways to gain her trust back and make her desire you once more.

In that case, if you are getting responses, you might still have a chance for reconciliation but it could be a very slim one.

From my personal experience, some girls will never reply to your texts when trying to fix things with them. In those cases, I had to suck it up and move on. This has been rare, though. However, it can happen.

There were other girls who I ignored completely after the break up and they tried to make overtures for us to start dating again.

There are so many variables in relationships, that all you can do is to decide if you really do still want a relationship with that person and then if so, make a genuine effort to make it happen. Sometimes, it does work and other times, it just won’t.

If your ex is responding to your texts, then, you probably have a small chance at least for things to work out. If she isn’t, then at some point, it’s time to cut your losses.

Also, some women will act spiteful when replying to your messages or simply give one word answers…in those cases, there’s a smaller shot of it working out, but still a chance that it can.

It will take some time and trying to have conversations with your ex to gauge whether or not she is still interested. Yes, some women will forget about you in time.

Others, never will, and it is these women who can sometimes be won back over. It’s a whole new chapter in one’s life, after a break up.

Don’t rush things or make fast decisions after these major emotional events, give it time and let things heal. Only then, can you gather information and try to get her to come back or move on.

What Might Increase the Odds of Being Forgotten?

In short, unattractive behavior. Pretty much what most guys do, when trying to lure back an ex-girlfriend.

One of the main things, is when guys become beggars, and do that annoying thing where they text the girl constantly. It’s hard to miss someone, when they’re always bothering you.

But, it is quite easy to want to forget about them completely, and just move on.

Within the context of constantly trying to text, call, or communicate with an ex; some men will, be all over the map with their emotions and what they say.

One minute, they love and miss her. The next, they think she’s the worst person ever, and tell her so.

If she’s dating, the ex-boyfriend acts like a stalker or complete ass, towards the girl or whoever she’s seeing. Don’t be a jealous guy, don’t be a desperate guy, and give her some damn space.

Those are some really easy and key points, about not wanting to be forgotten. Don’t poison the well, and then, try to go back and re-start a relationship.

Have patience. Work on yourself and your life. Get those powerful emotions in check. Try to re-establish contact, later, if you are interested in reconciliation.

The time after a break up can be a confusing and harrowing experience to get through with your emotions in tact.

At some point, in the ensuing weeks or months following the end of the relationship, your now ex-girlfriend can cut off contact with and flat out ignore you.

This move can blindside a lot of guys because they’re not expecting it, as the girl that they were once super close with, now won’t even acknowledge that they exist.

Why the hell isn’t she talking to me? What’s the deal with her ignoring my texts and phone calls? There are many potential reasons and variables associated with individual relationships.

But, in this post I want to cover some of the common reasons that a woman will ignore you and some potential remedies for dealing with this situation.

With all of that in mind, let’s get into some potential reasons why an ex-girlfriend may all of the sudden no longer be paying you… any mind.

Why Is My Ex-Girlfriend Ignoring Me?

Moving On Has Begun

Let me be clear, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she has moved on entirely, or that she is gone for good. Things aren’t always that cut and dry.

However, ignoring you could be a sign that she is preparing herself to move forward without you or is currently seeing other guys, to help get through the post break up period.

Don’t freak out or anything, this isn’t always the case; but cutting off contact like this can be apart of the healing process for anybody after a relationship ends.

One can only begin to cope with emotions of loss and the void of loneliness once the constant stimulus is cut off of having to see and communicate with an ex. That constant reminder of someone, can be rough, as you know.

It’s really difficult to get one’s mind right when you have to constantly see someone who you’ve broken it off with. This is a potential reason why she is ignoring you when you try to communicate.

Moving on with another guy or multiple guys doesn’t mean that it’s a serious thing. Different people cope with the end of a relationship in different ways.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

A lot of this behavior can be traced to not wanting to feel alone or wanting to get away from the constant stream of negative emotions. It can also at times be a signal that a new direction in life is going to be taken.

This moving on also doesn’t have to involve anyone else. She may very well decide that she’s going to take a break from dating period, at least for a while.

As such, she not only isn’t going to talk to any new guys, but she also may have decided to cut off contact from you too.

Finally, there is the possibility that she is trying to move on with her life, without the relationship. At which point, a man needs to respect that and do the same.

Things change, time passes, and people enter or exit one another’s lives. It happens.

This is probably the least likely reason because so many people have trouble moving past anything emotionally, but some folks do just cut ties and get on with living.

She’s Irritated with You

This is more common when you are the one who got dumped. In the aftermath, you may still be really wanting to get back together and she’s not really having it.

As such, we as men don’t take failure all that well at times, and so we begin to chase.

We may start calling and texting her way too much in order to try and convince her to come back, which only serves to push her further away.

At some point, she’ll have had enough and just cut off all contact as a way to stop being bothered by the constant attention.

Yes, it can be tough to deal with and our brain’s will tell us to keep pursuing, but we also need to know when we should back the hell off and give her space.

Keep in mind that being subservient and constantly available is already an unattractive trait, even more so once a relationship has dissolved and you are very familiar to her.

The constant chatter and behaving like a lap dog that is available at her beck and call makes her feel less attraction. So, stop doing it. Nobody likes it when someone is always buzzing in their ears.

It can be difficult and there is this tendency to want to try and fix everything but you can’t really, at this point in time, so take a break and go No Contact if necessary.

So many people think they can just do some elaborate convincing and fix a broken relationship. That’s a pretty low percentage shot. In reality, it takes time, and effort.

Some of that time, has to be spent apart from one another, in order to gain clarity about how each person wants to proceed from the breakup.

If you think that you may be texting her too much, you probably are.

She’s Going No Contact

Yep, your ex-girlfriend might be using the same Jedi mind trick on you. This is more likely, in the event that you broke up with her, and less likely if you were the one who got dumped.

No Contact doesn’t always mean that someone is trying to get back together with their ex, though it could. It can also be an effective tool for getting over someone or just trying to get themselves into a solid mental state without the heavy emotions constantly weighing on them.

No Contact Rule is a ‘rule’ for a reason, lots of people use it, and it is effective. It is a multi-purpose strategy, used to gain control of your life and emotional state, after such a dramatic change.

Also, if they want to get back together, at some point. It’s like buying time, to see which way the wind is blowing, for or against a reconciliation.

Anger

Of course, there’s the old standby reason, she’s really mad. This can be the case when cheating was involved or some bad argument took place between the two of you. The more upset she is, obviously the less likely that she is going to want to talk or text for a while.

Anger can go both ways, sometimes its a temporary phase, and eventually cooler heads prevail. However, if the anger and resentment is strong enough, it can be a complete end to the relationship with no reconciliation.

Cheating as a break up cause, can often be a no win position to start from. Honestly, I wouldn’t take a girl back who cheated on me, so I expect that plenty of ladies out there also share the same principle.

In order to gauge this, you need to think about the specifics of your own relationship, and how things fell apart. This one is a very common reason, if the two of you have been arguing a lot.

Obviously, if you said or did some foul things, and all of the sudden she stopped replying to your texts…there’s you answer as to why.

What’s the Response?

When being ignored, you can’t just go and start chasing. That tends to push them further away. The best prescription is to go, No Contact on your end, and give her space for a spell of time.

A period of no contact can last a month or two. During that time period things can become much clearer as to what path you should take.

That can mean that you eventually pursue a reconciliation or decide to move forward with your own life. Thus leaving this relationship on the heap of the past.

You can’t always make a bold move in order to get someone back, this kind of thing requires a certain amount of patience, and sometimes the best move is to do nothing…for now, at least.

As men, we always tend to want to take action to fix a situation. But many times, the act of pursuit or trying to fix things, just makes it worse.  The more we chase, the more they run away.

Eventually, if you are still interested in pursuing a reconciliation, then you can try texting her and opening the lines of communication.

This is of course, a much easier task, if you haven’t completely pissed her off or cheated on her or were particularly terrible during/after the relationship.

It also is way easier when she isn’t thoroughly sick of being pestered and chased by you, when she’s trying ignore you. Patience is a virtue.

Time is supposed to heal all wounds. If one lets it do its job, and also makes changes to their lives, it will indeed heal. However, just because time heals wounds doesn’t mean it fixes broken relationships.

So, it’s been a year or more apart from one another and you want another shot with her? Is it possible to get an ex-girlfriend to come back to you after that long of a period?

Yes, it certainly is possible. There have been plenty of relationships throughout time in which there was a long break up followed by a reconciliation.

Does that make it a good idea to try to make that love connection happen once again? Well, that’s tougher to say. Let’s use this post to explore this long gap in between breakup and potential of getting back together and what’s involved.

First Things First

Before I even get into this post, I want to make it abundantly clear that if it has been over a year since a break up and no reconciliation has happened, it is very unlikely that it will.

As I wrote above, it can happen but that doesn’t mean that the odds are good that it will happen. So much changes in that span of time, that in many ways, her life may be in a completely different space than when the two of you were dating.

Meaning, she’s not really the same person and may want completely different things than you can offer her. I know that sucks to hear but such is life.

Because this is the case, it can be quite a long shot, to hope to fix things. Now, sometimes it works out, because both parties recognize that their current lives and futures, are better spent together than apart. It’s just that this can be a huge hurdle to get over.

Why Do You Want Her Back?

I usually like to pose this question from the outset before even suggesting ways that people can get their ex back.

I do this because, often times, when you get down to the real core of your life and your desires; you will find that what you think you want is really just a symptom of lack.

This desire for the ex can often stem from dissatisfaction with one’s life or how it currently stands. When we find ourselves in this sort of head space, we can begin to clamor for anything that makes us feel better. We feel like our old relationship or some other outside force. will solve our deeper issues.

These solutions can take the form of drugs, escapism, working too much, and indeed chasing relationships.

It is a really good idea to do a full assessment of your life and relationship situation first to see if getting back together with this girl is truly what you want.

Conversely, if you are simply running after a past life, that you have fond memories of.

I say this because most people will be over their exes within a year. It can be very unhealthy to have this Jay Gatsby like obsession for a person you haven’t been together with in a long time.

This doesn’t mean that all circumstances are like that but if you’re holding on to the past this much, it’s time to let go and move forward.

Dig deep, down to the roots of what you want with your life or what you think you want from your life and analyze it.

• Does she actually offer you something that you cannot get anywhere else?
• Are you struggling to meet other women and are falling into the trap of the past?
• Were things in your relationship that great to begin with?
• Were the issues between the two of you even fixable?

Keep prodding yourself with these types of questions because the truth of the matter will start to reveal itself and make this an easy choice of, “No, I really don’t want her back. I just need to focus on myself and get my life in order.”

That’s not a bad outcome to this issue at all and even though it hurts to let someone go, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you and prevent you from making the mistake of restarting a doomed relationship.

Regardless of the ultimate outcome of this questioning, it is still a great idea to do it. It will really help to gain clarity about what you want moving forward or if you’re even on the right path at all.

I’ve done this myself after a breakup. Even though I felt like, I wanted my girlfriend back, I honestly couldn’t come up with a truly good reason why.

• Why should I want her back?
• Would the new relationship be anything other than mediocre?
• Was a future with here really better than one, which I could carve out for myself?

After a long and serious meditation on this, I decided that the clear answer was no, to trying to get her back. The immediate relief it would give to my emotional turmoil, wasn’t worth the long-term costs of being in an ultimately broken relationship. It just wasn’t worth salvaging.

But…but…I Still Want Her Back, What are My Chances?

OK, so once you’ve gone through the whole process of truly figuring out what you want for you life and whether you want to try to make this girl apart of your plans, then you can analyze the barriers to making this a reality.

Yes, I know, more work…but this is what’s involved in making an attempt to reconcile such long broken relationships.

First off, what is your ex’s current relationship status? Does she have a boyfriend? If yes, then your odds are even worse at getting her back then they just were.

Depending on the seriousness of that relationship, she may be gone for good or there might be a chance she could return.

If it’s serious, I would generally recommend just leaving it alone and moving on with your life. I mean, think about it from her current boyfriend’s perspective (just humor me), would you want your girl’s ex sniffing around and trying to mess up things between the two of you?

Hell no! So why are you going to be that guy?

So, let’s say that she isn’t seeing anyone or that her dating life is not what you could term as ‘serious’. Congrats! You now have a slightly less shitty chance at getting your ex-girlfriend back.

The odds will obviously depend on other factors such as the cause of the breakup (if you cheated on her and this led to the breakup…you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell), how your life or her life has changed, and how intact the lines of communication still are.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Also, take stock of what has occurred in the past year or more.

• Has she made any overtures about getting back together?
• Has she texted or called you, when she didn’t have a clear reason to?
• Have the two of you hooked-up within the last six months?
• On the flip side, has she started a new job or made some other big change in her life?

People will often do this sort of thing for a ‘fresh start’, meaning they are trying to move on.

Really give a consideration to things from her end. Has there been any sort of signaling, that she would be open to getting back into a relationship with you? If it’s just been straight radio silence, this is going to be really difficult to pull off.

Whose Idea was This, Anyways?

Another key factor to consider is which one of you initiated the break up. If it was her idea, she probably had a valid reason at the time, however, this reason could become murky after so much time has passed.

This plays to your advantage. Think about it, if she thought that she could do better than you (and failed to find someone) or thought that you weren’t quite up to snuff (and you’ve improved your life, health, status, etc.).

Then, she would be much more willing to reconsider things than she perhaps otherwise would.

People always get this idea in their head about how great things are going to be. But often, they don’t make any of the changes needed to make that a reality. Also, when they try, the find out that things really aren’t better. They previously had a good thing and let it falter.

Now, this can of course be detrimental to your cause if she went out into the dating world, and found another guy(s). A guy who she felt was superior to you, in terms of her happiness and comfort.

That’s not a very high percentage of scenarios, as finding a really good partner is difficult, especially within a year.

If you were the one who dumped her, you could be in better standing then if you were the one who got dumped. She might be more willing to reconcile or  be more open to your communications than she would be in another circumstance.

Again, this all depends on certain variables such as the state of her love life and how much of a candle she still holds for you. She may be angry with you still or be entirely open to trying to fix things.

Change? I guess Change is Good for Any of Us…

Hopefully, in the time that the two of you have been separated, you have made improvements in your life and these improvements are noticeable. The good thing about long times spent apart is that you can drastically alter who you are and who she sees you to be.

Sometimes, these major changes (such as the physical or getting your metaphorical shit together) are enough to shock and get an ex to start thinking about you again.

Plus, why would she want to get back together with you, if all she is going to get is more of the same? The two of you are in different places psychologically and within your lives then when you were together (at least, I hope you are).

This means that you cannot restart the same relationship you had before, as you are different people now! Any relationship that may come about has to be built from the ground up and altered so that the problems of the past don’t come back and haunt you.

You need to make sure that you have addressed any negative issues you may have had or be seriously willing to change them.

For instance, if you had a problem with anger during the relationship and that was a friction causing issue, then it should be corrected before you even consider trying to win her back.

On the flip side of that, if she was a source of major frustration for you that is one more red flag that a reconciliation might not be a good idea.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex.

With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

It has so many advantages over calling and/or trying to arrange a face to face meeting, right away. You have time to perfect an initial message and strategy. She has a long time to respond and consider talking to you again.

Plus, it’s such a passive way to send out feelers, to see how she currently feels about you communicating again.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully you took the time to download the two free reports, about What Not to Text Your Ex, earlier in the post. They were written by Mr. Fiore, as a part of his ‘Text Your Ex Back Program’.

This is a program which you can download immediately and has helped thousands of people, pursue reconciliation with an ex.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakup

Trying to rekindle a broken relationship, isn’t about blind desperation, to try and make things as it once was. No, it cannot be like it once was, because things have changed to the point where a breakup has occurred.

There may have been some time past the break up and now you realize, that your ex-girl is seemingly over you completely. For some fallen relationships, there are measures that can be taken, and improvements which can be made in order to help start fresh again.

However, for many other guys, it may be time to accept the fact that she isn’t going to come back and move on with your life.

In order to begin the process of trying to get an ex-girlfriend back, we must be able to at least somewhat determine what the situation is.

Also, to what extent the woman is actually done with the past, or if it is a temporary mood that can be remedied with some considerable effort.

What camp do you fall into?

The first thing that one must do is to figure out the likelihood of a reconciliation occurring. What is going on in your own unique situation which makes you think that she will come back to you (not just that you’re soooo awesome, of course).

Analyze things….is she still communicating with you? Is she seeing someone else? How long has it been? Look for some signs that your ex may want to get back together.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Some potentially good signs are, if she’s not seeing someone else, and that the break up is still pretty fresh.

For instance, if the break up happened recently, a girl might say that she is done with you in the heat of the moment and later regret saying it.

I’ve had girlfriends tell me they’re done with our relationship and then come back months later, because the ‘miss me’. Things can get weird, when emotions are running high.

If, on the other hand, you are getting no signs and she does things like ignore your texts, calls, tells you to leave her alone, etc…then you seriously need to back off.

Even if you want her back AND it is actually a possibility, pressing her at this particular juncture is going to push her further away and become more spiteful towards you.

She needs space to live her life, figure things out, and explore new things without you. The same is true for you. You need to work on getting over her and starting new things in your life.

The reason for this is that, after a breakup it is a tumultuous and emotional time, and decisions on getting back together in the midst of all that, usually aren’t good ones based on rational thought.

This is why a period of No Contact, can be so effective, because it allows for both parties to have a break and get their heads on straight.

If You’re Getting No Positive Signs

If you think that there is no shot that she’ll get back together with you, then, you’re probably right. It can be brutal to have to face the truth, however, it is a necessary thing to get on with your life.

It’s really sad to see guys just give up hope because one girl (no matter how great you think she is) no longer desires a relationship with them. There are guys who for years, are in a completely sad state all because of a breakup.

Listen, the girl was there to help enhance your life NOT to make your life or make you happy….that must come from within.

Constant arguments, anger, bad attitude, not wanting to see you, not wanting to communicate with you, is seeing other guys, indifference towards you or working things out with one another, making big changes in her life…the list goes on and on.

However, these are things that are tell-tale indicators that she doesn’t want to get back together, and if all of them are present in your situation…all signs point to the end of this relationship.

I always say, to seriously plan to move on with your life without the ex, but be aware that things can change in the future. It’s just that you can’t force these changes to happen.

I think that deep down, every guy knows this on some level. It is just that in the immediate aftermath, the emotions and the change that has taken place is just too great to handle at times.

You probably didn’t plan on losing her and thought that things would keep going on as they had before.

Obviously, loneliness becomes a factor and you can often times just want her back simply so you don’t have to feel this way anymore.

It is a really bad time to have to get through, when you come to the realization that she in all likelihood doesn’t want you back in her life in the same capacity. That isn’t to say it won’t or can’t happen, but, when the odds are looking long it can be a great idea to start moving in a new direction.

This all should start to become clearer after a period of no contact and time spent reflecting on what you truly want for your life moving forward.

Does she want you?? Maybe. Do you want her? If yes, why?

Another way to look at your situation and determine what the best actions to take are to flip the question on its head and ask why YOU WANT HER BACK. This is legitimate question which needs to be answered because if it’s not the right one, then you need to move on.

• Feeling lonely is not a good reason.
• Thinking that you will be forever alone or that you currently have no other female options is not a good reason.
• Her being ‘good enough’ instead of the right one. You don’t have to settle.
• You don’t have a clear path for your future, that’s okay but don’t cling to your past, just because it’s familiar.
• You think that she will solve your personal issues or at least mask them.

Find good reasons that you would even want her back. If you cannot, then let her go. If you can, then understand that she might not want to be back together with you…which is fine, there are billions of women on this planet, so you’ll be fine eventually.

Maybe it is a situation in which you’re at fault; and even though she wanted to stay with you, she simply could not because of your transgressions.

That is a rough reality to face but one in which you’ll have to accept things, improve yourself, and try again with another woman. It’s just a time in your life where you’re have to take a loss and deal with the fact that it is most likely over for good.

The bottom line with all of this, is that, if your girlfriend is clearly displaying signs of not wanting anything to do with you then it is time to start moving on.

Obsessing or wallowing about things for a long time is counterproductive towards the possibility of getting your ex-girlfriend back anyways.

Start getting on with your life, improving yourself, dating other girls, and if you still think there is a shot, then you can try reopening the lines of communication and exploring the possibility of reconciliation.

If she isn’t open to this, then she really doesn’t want to get back in a relationship with you.

If You Still Want Her Back

Alright, so, you’ve thought about it and have decided that trying to get back together with the ex is a good idea. You want her for the right reasons and not just to have something to occupy the temporary void you feel, in the time following the breakup.

Still, we are faced with a situation in which she wants nothing to do with you, or at least is putting up the front that this is the case. The course of action that needs to be taken will be dependent on the factors, we talked about before. Like, if she’s dating someone else or is ignoring you when you text, etc.

The first step is to continue into a No Contact period for 30-60 days. So, no texting or trying to get back together with her.

During this time, use it to better yourself, and prepare for life as if she isn’t going to be coming back. Odds vary based on a whole lot of individual inputs, but both getting back together and moving forward should be prepared for.

Next, comes the initial contacting phase, which will hopefully turn into a meet up, and then an attempt at reconciliation.

How does one accomplish this? Well, the best method in the modern age, is by sending a text message. Honestly, it is quite a perfect way to reach out, because so little is involved on her end to type out a simple reply. It can be a good gauge to determine how much interest is still there.

Where do we start? I hope you had a chance to download the free report near the top of the page, about what not to text an ex. It was written by relationship expert Michael Fiore and is a part of his larger program, Text Your Ex Back.

Text Your Ex Back is a total digital program that walks you through the process of re-establishing contact and getting back together with an ex. It has been used by thousands of people successfully over the years and can be tried for 60 days with a full money back guarantee.

The nature’s of men and women are obviously very different from one another. Men, we hardly think we can ever lose and even if we do lose, we are a big believer in the come back.

Sure, I’m down 20k in blackjack but I know I can come back and at least break even! 

It is our competitive ways and our ego, which often times, won’t let us accept the reality of our situation. We don’t know when to throw in the towel.

This phenomenon is especially common in our post-breakup lives, where we just know that we can get our ex-girlfriends back, if we just try hard enough…after all we’re so awesome, right?

The truth of the matter is, many broken relationships stay broken and there is never any reconciliation of note.

Other relationships, will be mended back together and falter soon thereafter because either the underlying issues which caused the breakup were never addressed or the attraction simply isn’t there anymore.

It happens that way, things change, and so do people. Recognize that the path she was on when she met you, may not be the one she is currently walking down. If that’s the case, learn to accept it and move on.

What if I still Want Her to Come Back?

But what if I still want my ex back? Well, we mostly all want something good we once had but ultimately lost. This can stem from nostalgia, loneliness, bitterness, or even the belief that she is truly the one you want to be with.

In this moment in time, that last one may be entirely true for you. However, the final question will be can you actually get your ex-girl to get back together with you? (The first question is a matter of clearing your head, gathering perspective, and deciding whether or not you truly want to get back with her)

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

What Were the Causes?

In order to answer the question of can you get her back, you must clear define for your situation, what the causes were that drove her away from you?

• Did you Cheat?
• Did She? (If she did, dude…give it up and move on)
• Did one of you want a deeper commitment that the other didn’t?
• Did you grow too far apart?
• Did you fight all of the time?

The list can go on and on, with possibilities, but the important thing is to find out the right questions and answers for your specific situation.

I know that sometimes a break up can blindside us…you didn’t think that she wanted to leave you, suddenly and out of the blue, she did.

The reality is that there were indeed specific reasons (that maybe you didn’t notice or even pick up on) but they were nonetheless there. Women rarely just suddenly break up with someone, it’s usually a long-time coming, so they can have a clean exit strategy.

If you can figure out some answers and truths about your circumstances, then you can make a rational assessment, of whether or not you can get your ex-girlfriend to come around and reconsider.

For example, if you cheated, then it is probably over. That’s not a guarantee, but there are many people who will refuse to accept cheating, on any grounds. They will never let go of those feelings of betrayal, so, it’s often best just to move on.

There are other circumstances that can be remedied but will require changes to be made on your part. Brainstorm ideas about what you can do to be a better partner and how the relationship can be altered for the better.

Has What’s Changed Deviated too Far?

Different breakups obviously have differing causes. Sometimes, it’s caused by minor or easily solvable problems.

There are points in time in relationships (even long-term ones) where break ups may occur but it’s usually a short-lived time apart from one another.

Other times, there are complete and wholesale shifts in the relationship or within one of the partner’s lives that shakes things up beyond repair.

This can stem from a violation of trust or even wanting other things for their future. It may be that you aren’t ready to commit, but your ex-girlfriend wants someone, who is serious about getting married in the near future or vice-versa.

In these sorts of situations, a relationship may have grown beyond its original intentions and it is probably best for the two people to go their separate ways.

A lot of relationships, seem to start as just fooling around or as hook-ups, that then generally got more serious and intense.

Eventually, if these more intense relationships weren’t built off of genuine attraction, love, and commonalities of purpose, then the foundation of the relationship is shaky at best and will probably fail.

In short, if the two of you are on different pages completely as to what you currently want for your lives and your futures, then it is going to be much more difficult to have a long-term reconciliation.

What Can You Improve On?

No matter what your situation in life, one should always strive to get better in all aspects of it. Improvement of your looks, lifestyle, mental/emotional state, and more can have a profound impact on the type and number of women that you attract in your life (even your ex).

Now, saying all of this, it doesn’t mean that if you get yourself in shape that you will get her back…BUT…improvements in all facets of your life will definitely improve your odds to add to your attractiveness and to show that you are serious about changing for the better.

After a breakup, there is a tendency for people to compare their situations to that of their ex. Women tend to notice a lot when a man makes a lot of positive changes in his life.

It shows that he isn’t wallowing in despair because she left, that he has ambition and confidence, and that he is ready to move forward with or without his ex-girlfriend.

Making these sorts of changes is ultimately the best course of action to take, as, even if she doesn’t come back there will be plenty of other women clamoring for a chance if you dramatically improve yourself.

The bottom line is, yes, it is possible to get your ex-girlfriend back. However, it is not a guarantee. The best a man can do is weight the odds, take a chance, and see what the future holds.

What’s the first move?

Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.

Think about it:

• They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
• That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
• You can craft the right message to them.
• It’s a private and personal way of communication.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:

Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

Sometimes, after the demise of a relationship, things aren’t too bad between the former lovers and there is more clarity about reconciliation or simply moving on because emotions aren’t quite as intense and rationality is more prevalent.

However, there are other breakup situations in which one partner still wants his ex back while the other seems to have an intense dislike or yes, even hatred towards that person.

Now, this ‘hate’ may be real and one that lasts or it may be a short-term reaction to something that you did or towards the end of the partnership. What can a guy do if his ex-girlfriend really dislikes him?

Give Her Time To Cool Off

In the middle of circumstances, emotions are running red hot and things are said, that might not be meant in the long-term. Our present lives are almost always paramount to things that happened years ago.

I bet we can all think back in our lives, to things that really upset us in that specific time period. Though, now we are either indifferent towards them or simply laugh that we once cared that much.

This type of thing happens quite a lot in relationships, or when they end, because we kind of become addicted to that other person. Addicted to their presence, love, attention, etc.

These emotions can of course be intensified when the person we are upset at continuously shows up. Or interferes with our lives, instead of just letting us have time to reflect and cool off.

Your now, ex-girlfriend or wife, is probably pretty pissed at you…to the point you had to search out an article on how to deal with her hatred.

So, to start with you are already at a great disadvantage in terms of an attempt to win her back.

In order to try to get out of such a predicament, one must assess the likelihood of turning her feelings back. She needs to feel something positive towards you and the first step is letting her have time.

Going no-contact is a popular method for dealing with breakups, and for good reason, it lets emotions settle down among both parties.

Even though your impulse is to try to talk, reason with her, beg, apologize, and the like…it is actually the wrong course of action to take.

First of all, the two of you need to think about your own lives, and the very real possibility that the relationship is indeed over for good.

Secondly, the constant calling and texting, will make you seem desperate and even if you are, it makes you even more unattractive or annoying in her eyes.

Let her have space and let yourself have some too. You need time apart from one another, as it lets things calm down and become more rational.

This time can be a very lonely and trying experience and the urge to contact her must be resisted for at least a month or two.

During this time period, you should work on all aspects of your life and figure out if you should move on from her and start dating other girls (if need be). If you are honest with yourself, in most situations, the best move will be to learn to let her go and chart a new path for your romantic life.

Need more help? Click here to receive two free reports: “3 Toxic Texts You Should NEVER Send Your EX” and a mapped plan of the “Text Your Ex Back” process.

Think About What You Did to Piss Her Off So Much

Okay, so this lady may or may not actually hate you. Either way, what did you do to get her in this state?

If you cheated on her, then this only adds another layer of complexity, and  further lowers your chance of getting her back.

Many people are not forgiving of a transgression such as that, and even if they do take you back, the dynamic of trust in the relationship is shattered.

The couple will then, need to work extensively to move past it, as an obstacle. This is a massive block to get past and it isn’t always possible. The most likely outcome is that the separation will be permanent.

Though, there are always exceptions to the most likely outcome.

Whatever it is that you have done to anger her, think about what it is, why you did it, if it’s a behavior that you seem to repeat often, and why you haven’t changed this behavior.

• Is this something that you can improve upon or even change completely?
• If you were caught with another girl, are you really ready to give up other women in your life for good?

If not, you may not be ready for a long-term committed relationship…which is fine. At least be honest with yourself, that you would really rather hookup with a bunch of women, versus being exclusive with her.

Don’t simply fall into an emotional space and demand to get her back, because your ego is hurt that she’s gone.

What are these things that you need to fix in order for her to take you seriously in the future? Figure it out and come up with a plan on how you are going to remedy these issues.

Figure Out If She Really Does Hate You

After a time apart from one another, she may have softened enough to be willing to talk to you and interact further. On the other hand, she may want nothing to do with you and is moving on with her life.

If that’s the case, it is a really good idea to respect her wishes and simply let her do what she wants. You cannot force someone to like you, and trying to keep up a pursuit of reconciliation, just becomes pathetic at some point.

People tend to just get stuck in the past, instead of charting, a better future.

However, after a period of no contact, it may still be uncertain to you whether she will be receptive or not to accepting you back into her life. Here is a post about signs that your ex may want you back.

At this stage, you may have come to the conclusion that you do indeed want to try and restart a dialogue with her.

The dialogue can usually be started through text message, just to feel out how she perceives you at this point in time. She may not respond or give short and terse answers.

A reply is better than no answer at all. From there, it is a progression of getting her to talk to you more often, hashing things out, and agreeing to meeting up with you.

What’s the first move?

If the goal is to get back together with an ex, then obviously contact with them, must be had in order to move forward. Luckily, thanks to the power of technology, the barriers to entry are much lower.

We no longer have to call and pray for an answer or try to randomly arrange a meeting with a go between.

Now, cell phones have given us the ability to send text messages. Why is this a good thing? You have all the time to craft the right message. They have all the time to respond.

Maybe they don’t want to right away, but maybe they will later. It requires little effort and there’s no face to face meeting, right off the bat. Sounds pretty ideal.

Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships. How he uses it in his program:

Hopefully, you downloaded the free reports from earlier in the post, explaining what not to text an ex when trying to get back with them. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as a basic introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.

Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. It is easily downloadable and available almost instantly, no waiting for shipping.

Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:

“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.

“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !!  Thank you Michael !!!

There are many way in which relationships can end and the underlying causes are all usually at least somewhat painful to endure. However, none may be quite as harsh as getting cheated on by your now ex-girlfriend.

Relationships are built on trust and the idea that this one person is granted special access and privilege in your life because they have proven themselves as someone to be held in high esteem.

Whether it’s through momentary weakness or a long-term decline in the satisfaction they derive in being monogamous, cheating is simply an option that some people see as a way to explore something different and get those needs they have met.

Unfortunately in the process of meeting those perceived needs, a person they are supposed to love and care for gets hurt badly by their actions.

Now, the question becomes once a relationship is over due to cheating, how can you get the ex-girlfriend who stepped out on you back?

Seriously, WTF?

I’m going to have to have a little talk with you, as your random internet friend…dude, what the hell are you thinking?

The base question of this article, is how to get your ex-girlfriend back if she cheated on you. Perhaps seeing this in writing will help your circumstance sink in. No? Still nothing. OK, let’s break it down further.

The question itself implies that she cheated on you and doesn’t want to get back together. This isn’t some circumstance in which the cheater is begging for a second chance, rather, the guy who got cheated on is chasing after her.

That is the most ass-backwards logic I may have ever come across. On what basis would you want this girl back?

As I’ve written above, the core foundation of a relationship is about trust. She violated that trust to one of the highest degrees possible, therefore, the relationship is rendered ineffective and should be concluded permanently.

Now, if you had an open relationship in which either one of you could hook up with other people, fine. However, the rules of a monogamous relationship do not allow for this possibility.

What Do You Think She Offers?

If a woman cheats on you, that is symptomatic of a larger issue. Not only is it a larger issue within the confines of that relationship but it is also indicative as a flaw in her character.

She may justify it any way she wants within her head but if she was truly unhappy in the relationship (and if the metrics are her cheating and not wanting to be with you, it’s a safe bet), then she should have just left in the first place.

Also, even if you do get her back, what has changed? Is her deeper issue suddenly solved? Is she trustworthy in the future to potentially (or already) have access to your financial well-being, to raise your children, be trusted not to screw you over sometime down the road?

Understand this: there are always more women. There’s like 4 billion females on this planet…maybe, what, 1.5 billion adult females and you’re going to sit there and act like this cheater is particularly special? Come on, man.

Maybe it’s your current love life situation (or lack thereof) that is pushing you to want to get back together with her. Despite the loneliness, it is better to be single than to be in a crummy relationship by miles and if you don’t feel that’s the case, then you need to seriously start turning your attention to your own needs and psychic well-being.

Yes, you can get other girls and you can certainly get girls who will not cheat on you. I cannot in good conscience recommend that you even attempt to get back with your ex-girlfriend, as I don’t see a scenario in which this is a good idea. My advice is: move on!

Getting Past this Attachment

A big problem with the aftermath of a break up, is dealing with those addiction like feelings, toward the ex-girlfriend. The good news, is that, they can be gotten rid of but it takes time and effort.

Wanting someone back who cheated on you, and who, doesn’t currently want you back is a pretty big sign that some positive changes need to occur in one’s life.

Whenever, I’ve been faced with something or someone that I’ve become unreasonably attached to mentally/emotionally, I like to go through a deep inquiry. I get to the roots of why I am feeling this way and not just accepting that I ‘need’ this person or thing in my life.

• Why do I want her so much?
• What is lacking in the rest of my life, that I am so focused on this one person?
• Is she really the one girl for me or just the only one that I can currently see in front of me?
• Is it even about her or do i just simply not like the way losing her felt?
• Is it more about the feelings that the cheating caused or something that is actually special about her?

Really get into the causes and mental patterns of the issue. Sometimes, we mentally get stuck in feedback loops, where we expect someone or some feeling to be there.

When it no longer is, there is a void, and we can struggle to replace it. As such, we tend to try to get back the source of that feeling, even when it isn’t a good option for us.

After inquiry and identifying underlying issues, that are causing the negative feelings, I begin the process of letting them go. For me, I do this through meditation. It really helps to calm my mind and makes me aware of my thoughts, when they pop up.

The awareness of the thoughts are important. When the negative patterns arise, I immediately begin to question them, instead of just following them and getting right back into feeling bad about things.

It’s like reprogramming your mind. Each time the thoughts begin to rise, I cut them off, and question how valid they actually are. The more I interrupt the thought patterns, the less hold they can have, the less often they come up, and the emotional attachment lessen, until I let them go entirely.

Next, is the analysis of my life, and what I need to do to improve it. If I’m focused solely on someone who cheated on me and not on my life and well-being…I’m probably not in a good spot.

That’s fine. Identifying the negative feelings and their causes, is a great first step. However, we have to begin to slowly shift into a new direction, and off of the old course which no longer suits us.

Little changes add up. I don’t care how small the positive steps are at this stage, they are still useful. It’s like weight lifting, you slowly build up strength each session, until what used to be heavy is just easy to pick up.

• What are your personal goals?
• I mean for work, school, starting a business, health, and your dating life in the future?
• If some of these aren’t where they need to be, how do you get to that place?
• What are the easiest steps that you can take today and the next day, to move closer to these goals?

It can literally be as simple as reading for 15 minutes and then building upon that. Or doing a workout today, if you’re currently in bad shape, and then being consistent with it.

Getting cheated on, isn’t the end of the world. It’s just the end of that relationship and there are plenty more to be had, if you so desire. I had girlfriends in college who dumped me. It hurt like hell back then and felt like I wouldn’t recover.

Well, nowadays, I never think about any of them.

Our brain’s can get obsessive in the short term, we need to nudge them off of these addictions, and keep going on to something better. Time apart, can naturally help these things, but it won’t be as effective if you don’t take the time to grow as a person and leave that chapter of your life behind.