The immediate aftermath of a breakup can be a confusing time. Emotions are up and down. It can feel like a piece of you is missing. Also, things can come to light, that make you question your memories of what the relationship exactly was.
Many times this is in the form of finding out about cheating. However, it can come in the form of learning that your ex-girlfriend doesn’t miss you at all…or so she says. How can that be?
This can be a jarring notion, especially when you still miss her quite a lot on your end. What’s the deal with this? Is it even true? Why doesn’t she? Can I make my ex-girlfriend miss me? How can one handle coming to terms with such a scenario?
Is It Even True? My Ex Doesn’t Miss Me?
Telling their ex-boyfriend that they don’t miss them, can either be a factual statement, a weaponized barb, or a mixture of both.
Determining which it is can depend greatly on the context in which it was said, the manner which it was delivered, and the nature of the female you’re dealing with.
For instance, if you know that your ex has a bit of pettiness in her personality, there’s a good chance that it’s designed to inflict pain (especially if the two of you were arguing at the time).
It’s my contention, that if a girl truly doesn’t miss me, she would have no need to tell me that.
I mean, when I don’t care about an ex-girlfriend, they literally don’t cross my mind unless prompted by something else. I don’t think about them, I have no reason to speak to them, and the whole relationship is just a memory.
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Essentially, why would I need to tell them that I don’t miss them in the slightest?
Then again, some chicks are just assholes and feel the need to take shots at an ex, for some perceived notion of ‘vengeance’.
It can also be a sort of stalling strategy. She tells you that she doesn’t miss you to push you away. This gives her time to heal. Hell, she might not even know what she wants right now, and just acted off of impulse.
People can say something that they don’t really mean in the moment. Later, upon reflection, they can realize their error. Maybe it was to buy time to heal or maybe she hasn’t come to the realization, that she’s messed up just yet.
Which One is It?
In the cases in which it doesn’t seem obvious one way or another, if she really means what she said or is just trying to hurt with words, it’s best not to try and wrack your brain too much.
Sometimes, you really cannot definitively tell what her intent was behind the words. In plenty of cases, she might be emotional, and not even know herself.
I tend to take the statement at face value.
She doesn’t miss me, at least in that moment. If it proves otherwise, that will all be revealed over time by how she behaves towards me.
Meaning, if she really doesn’t miss me at all, she will presumably fade from my life. On the other hand, if she was bull shitting me, she will probably try to get my attention and contact me in the future.
With one girl that I dated almost ten years ago, she was sort of all over the map with her feelings towards me.
First, she broke up with me (I was really close to dumping her but she beat me to the punch). Then, she would randomly text me for sex in the following months.
Next, she told me that she didn’t miss me (which was fine, since I was dating other girls).
What happened after she told me that she didn’t miss me? Things got quiet for quite a while, until she messaged me on Facebook, out of the blue. It was really getting strange, because I never thought about her, anymore.
She would message me on there, every few years, and even asked me out. She said that she wanted us to go out ‘just as friends’…we were never really friends to begin with, though.
I think that the last message she sent was about two years ago. That’s a funny thing, to have someone not miss me, try and get back into my life years after the fact. Especially when there’s no significance or attachment on my end.
Anyways, there is the truism, that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Often times, a break up occurs and she might foresee big plans in her future.
She thinks that she can get a better guy to commit to her. She thinks that she’s going to land some amazing job.
And then…none of that happens, which can lead to them reevaluating their past and their ex-boyfriends. Sometimes, they find this out within a few months of the breakup.
This can often happen when, there was no big event that ended the relationship. On a whim, she breaks up, because she’s ‘bored’ or whatever.
She doesn’t really have a plan and just fumbles around from person to person or job to job. Then, it’s like, “Ooops, what have I done with my life?”
How to Respond
Does she miss your or not? Since there is no way to know for sure, let go of the question.
Turn inward and focus on yourself, your own development, and pursue all of the things that makes your life as an individual better.
Guys get too caught up on trying to figure out all of the answers (even when there isn’t one to be had), which just becomes and obsession and time waster.
Time will usually reveal what exactly is taking place. If a girl genuinely misses you, her feelings will generally revert to the mean. Meaning, that if she told you that in anger and she secretly does miss you, then she will make it clearer once she settles down.
To me, the question really becomes, “Do I even want to be with someone who tries to hurt me with their words?” Rather than, does she miss me?
I would begin to explore what life is like without her in my life. Take the steps to move on from them and generally focus on myself.
Do you actually miss her? Or are you just reacting to the fact that she said that she doesn’t miss you? Don’t chase someone, just because it was a blow to your ego. Let that sort of negativity go, fall back for the time being, and see what happens in the future with (or without) her.
Still Want an Ex-Back?
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Michael Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”. He also recommends a period of no contact with an ex and also shows how to both work through the time apart and how to decide what to do next. If you want further help working out things or really do want to make things work with an ex, this is something you’ll want to check out.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
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“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
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