Texting has pretty much revolutionized communication over the past decade or so. Along with it, both positive and negative aspects of this transformation in technology. No longer do you have to rely on playing phone tag to get a hold of someone in order to talk to them.
On the flip side, it can also make it easier to ignore or simply choose not to reply to someone, like an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. So, she can now see that we’ve texted, hit her up on Facebook Messenger, What’s App; and not get back to us at all. In essence, leaving us wondering why?
So, exactly why may an ex be choosing to ignore the person that they just broke up with or were dumped by? Well, in this post I want to explore some of the more common reasons that an ex-boyfriend may not be replying to texts that you send to them post-breakup.
There may be more specific reasons, to your individual situation, but I can only lay out the most universal causes.
Why is He Ignoring and Not Responding to my Texts?
It’s Become Irritating
One of the main reasons, that people will stop replying to text messages, is due to over-texting by the other person. At some point, a guy will get tired of having to rehash the same old fights, or have his ex-girlfriend begging him to take her back.
Frankly, it’s not a good look. Texting too much becomes pathetic and unattractive to the person, even when you think that it is helping your case to get them back (hint: it isn’t helping).
More is not necessarily always better and can often have the opposite effect of what you intended.
Instead of looking forward to a text message from you, he will actually be repulsed, and driven away from feeling like ever responding.
Desperation is unattractive and by texting all the time or just too much, one can easily come off as desperate, thus less attractive in their ex’s eyes.
However, it is actually a really common thing. After a break up, we tend to be really panicky and desperate. We think that if we can just explain ourselves, we can ‘fix’ the broken relationship.
Thus, we over-text, when we feel that it’s not really going our way. We try to get them to just understand, but instead, the ex will be pushed away. It’s counterintuitive to what we think, but chasing them and pleading, really isn’t an effective strategy.
He’s Really Mad
Emotions are usually running pretty high, during the post-breakup period, and sometimes that main emotion is anger. This situation can vary in how long it lasts, because we are dealing with emotions, and not everyone has the same patterns.
There are times in which, all it takes is a short break from one another, in order for their emotional outbursts to subside. However, there are situations like when a girl cheated on her ex-boyfriend that the resentment can last for much longer.
This can be a very tough situation to extricate themselves from. The deeper the emotional scars, the harder it’ll be to get him back, willing to talk.
An ex-boyfriend being mad at you, usually isn’t that big of a deal. As it mostly involves, waiting on them to wear themselves out with being angry at you; before they’re willing to talk again.
Though, as I said, it can be more serious depending on your individual circumstances. You know what happened in your relationship and the ensuing break up.
Was he really angry at you? Has he become angry with you, after you did or said something, post-breakup?
He’s Moving On or Trying To
An ex cutting off communication may be the result of them trying to move on with their lives on their own terms without the baggage of the old relationship.
This can mean that they want to strike out on their own and be single for a while or it can mean that they are seeing other women or one specifically.
This can be the most emotionally painful of the reasons to deal with, as seeing that an ex is with someone else or no longer wants to be with you is a blow to our ego.
While it isn’t an easy experience to get through, we all must come face to face with this at some point in our dating lives. We should ultimately accept, that time and circumstances change, how things once were between two people.
There comes a time when we must learn to let go and deal with our emotional fallout from the breakup. This doesn’t mean necessarily that a broken relationship cannot be repaired eventually, but that we have to prepare ourselves for life on our own, regardless of the outcome.
Sometimes, people just need to go out on their own for a while. They go out and date and try new things. But, what many people often find, is that the grass isn’t always greener. Then, they start to remember what they had fondly, which can play to our advantage of reconciling things.
Where’s the Challenge?
This is sort of related to the point about becoming annoying by texting him too much. If you’re in constant communication or chase mode with an ex-boyfriend, where is the challenge to him at getting you back in his life?
If you’re always available to him, is he going to see you as a high value woman, who has lots of things going for her? Or is he going to become even less attracted to you due to his familiarity with you and the fact that he knows he can have you back at any time?
There are times when the fun, is in the chase itself. Something or someone that is widely available, has less value in people’s eyes, than something that is more scarce and sought after.
Begging is not attractive. Treating him like his some elevated being, is not attractive. Having respect for yourself, as a woman, is attractive.
What’s there to draw him back to? There is such a thing, as playing hard to get. Now, some people go crazy with it, and make it near impossible to get. Nonetheless, it’s still a good idea to not always make yourself so available.
What Can You Do when the Ex-Boyfriend Won’t Reply?
The strategy should be fairly simple. Trying to text him now, obviously isn’t working. We now have some possible reasons why and you can think about one’s that are specific to your situation.
The first step, should be to cease the texts, for the time being. Go No Contact for 30 days, at least. I wouldn’t go more than two months, before reaching out again.
During this time, do some work on yourself. Get your emotions and mind, in a good place, before deciding what to do next. You want to be utterly certain that you want to try to get back together with him.
You need to make sure that you’re not just in a bad emotional spot, currently. That you do indeed, actually want to get back together with him.
If reconciliation is the path that you want to try, then, you will re-contact him after a No Contact Period.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, when it is time to re-contact the ex, there’s going to have to be a good way to do it. We’ve already been talking about texting, in this post, and that’s one of the most effective ways to reach out.
He won’t respond right now, but hopefully with some time apart, he will have a change of mind.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
- That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
- You can craft the right message to them, with no time limit. No need to think on your feet, for ‘the perfect thing to say’.
- It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Once purchased, it is emailed directly to you. There’s no waiting around for a physical delivery, so you can get started right away. Michael lays out a full strategy of how to re-attract an ex, step by step, through text messaging. From the first text, to keeping it going, to setting up a meeting with them.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: