A common cause of breakups is infidelity. One partner steps out of the bounds of the agreed upon relationship in order to get sex, attention, or whatever else from a third party.
However, when some time passes after finding out about the infidelity, your ex might come crawling back to you and be begging for you to get together with them again.
Your resolve might be really tough at first and you can resist the initial advances but some doubt starts to creep in and you may begin to wonder if you should indeed accept them back into your life as a lover.
What’s the Right Answer?
My policy has always been that I will not accept fixing things between me and a girl who cheats.
That’s it.
I can forgive and quickly let it go, but unless we had some sort of open relationship agreement (which I don’t do), cheating is immediate grounds for the termination of a relationship.
Now, having said that, this may not be the correct answer for your particular situation.
Some couples can work through something like that. Probably a very low percentage of the population.
However, I think that for most people the mistrust would linger on in some part, even after they worked things out.
What to Consider
In the vast majority of cases, you shouldn’t take back someone who cheats on you.
Having said that, maybe you’re hell bent on making it work, but I would take some of the following things into consideration first.
Can You Realistically Get Past This?
It takes much more than simply forgiving a person, you also have to let it go, and not let it interfere with your future relationship.
Understand that: the relationship, you once had is now over.
So, if you do decide to take back a cheating ex, it’s like starting from scratch.
Does them cheating really bother you?
Is it going to continue to hinder your ability to trust them in the future?
Are you just hanging on because they are currently your best option for a relationship or are they truly the right person?
Would someone who is truly ‘right’ for you, even cheat on you in the first place?
If all of this, is too much to handle and cope with then the correct course would be to move on.
What Really Has Changed?
It isn’t enough for someone to say that they’ll change their behavior.
Hell, everyone says they’ll change bad habits on New Years Day, also. And we all know how well that works out for the majority of them. (Hint: no lasting change takes place).
Knowing them as you do, what do you honestly think they are going to change about themselves in order to make things work?
You have to be honest with yourself about what you want for your future and if this person is even capable of fulfilling what you want in a relationship.
It won’t be a pretty sight if a few months down the line, your partner starts feeling comfortable with their place in your life. Then, starts to resort right back to the same habits and infidelities which caused the split in the first place.
Is This More About Dependency than Your Self-Respect?
We can really get attached to the person we are in a relationship with and that’s what makes being in love so great.
Sometimes though, that attachment becomes a dependency with drug like effects on our lives, moods, and behaviors.
Post-breakup can be a really confusing time, even if it’s clear that they hurt you badly.
You may really feel that you want them back or that you actually need them in your life but this can often just be a fear of change in your life and a complete dependency on that person.
If they cheated on you, do they honestly respect you?
I mean, on some levels I’m sure they do, but do they respect you completely?
Do you respect yourself?
Do you love yourself?
If you are wishy washy on any of these questions then I would once again say, move on with your life.
You need to be able to love yourself and recognize what you want and deserve in a relationship.
Dependency and addiction is not a recipe for a healthy relationship, especially when someone can clearly violate the trust of the other.
Should you get back together with an ex that cheated on you?
I say, no, and hope that you consider your situation carefully.
There are times after a break up, when one still feels as though, they want their ex-boyfriend back. They want him to realize how special the relationship was. They no longer want to be alone.
However, it also feels as if there is little hope of getting back together and doing so is not only a daunting task, it seems utterly impossible to pull off.
What can one do in such a situation? The hopelessness of not being able to get an ex back is a powerful emotion but is it actually real? Are the odds really that bad?
In this post, I want to write a bit about how to approach these seemingly impossible situations and explore how one can try to go about reconciling with an old boyfriend.
Understand going into it, that nothing is ever guaranteed, so prepare for a more likely outcome.
Why do you want him back?
The first question I would ask about anyone’s given situation, is why exactly, do you still want him back? Especially when, it seems like such a long shot.
It’s certainly understandable on an emotional level, as to why one would still crave for their ex-boyfriend, to come back into their lives.
After all, love can be like a drug addiction that is tough to shake, and the aftermath can make life not feel quite the same.
However, long-term longing for reconciliation can also be a sign; that one has not moved forward or is in a stagnant position in their lives.
The longing for an ex can mask general dissatisfaction with how things are going in life and give us something to work towards, even when it isn’t the best choice for us.
Instead of accepting the change in our lives and learning what we actually want from our life, we chase what we used to have. This can be true, even when getting back together with our old love would be a disaster.
We still feel as though we want it, even though, we logically understand that it would go poorly.
Think deeply about why you actually want to get back together and what it would mean in reality. If the relationship ended, it was broken in some way, and perhaps really major ways.
What has changed?
Would he change?
Would you change in this new version of the relationship?
In the past, I’ve had some breakups in which I desperately wanted my ex-girlfriend back. Like, a visceral feeling of hurt which I felt, that only she could solve by coming back into the fold.
However, it was ultimately an illusion. I was really unhappy with myself and the way things were panning out.
My ex-girlfriends’ leaving was just a wake up call to problems that I didn’t want to face or even recognize existed, sort of like having a band-aid ripped off. I could no longer hide from life in the safe confines of my relationships, and as such, had to come to terms alone.
This is one of the reasons that I recommend a period of healing and no contact. It helps with gaining mental clarity about what you actually want deep down and not simply what you think will make you feel better in the moment.
It isn’t always a good idea to restart a relationship and we cannot fully make that judgment until we are far enough away from the wreckage of the break up.
Often times, one can arrive at the truth that they really don’t want to get back together with their ex-boyfriend.
That, they were romanticizing the relationship and ignoring all of the bad parts that came with it. That, their boyfriend really wasn’t all that great of a match to begin with.
Dig deep and discover what you truly want before even attempting to reconcile things with him. You have the time, to think things through, and make a solid decision about which way to go with this.
Why is the situation hopeless?
So, why exactly does this break up seem impossible to fix? What happened in the relationship that was so bad that it cannot be redeemed?
One should work on determining roughly what the odds are that he will actually consider fixing the relationship. Look for some of the obvious signs that he could come back, under the right circumstances. If none exist, then it would point to the unlikely event of getting back together.
What are some other indicators that lower the likelihood of fixing the broken relationship?
Cheating- especially if you were the culprit
Is he dating other girls? Especially if it seems serious with one in particular
There are other huge problems that stem from the relationship
He has shown no real interest in doing anything but moving on
Now, there are times when the situation seems hopeless but can be remedied. Then, there are other times when it actually seems like the odds are in your favor but things still don’t work out.
We are dealing with complex variables specific to you particular relationship and his current feelings and desires, which may no longer align with being together.
Take an inventory of pros and cons to help determine if the situation really is impossible or if there does appear to be some light at the end of the tunnel.
Accept the most likely outcome
OK. Once one has determined that they do indeed still want their ex back and have come to terms with the probabilities…there needs to be an acceptance of the most likely outcome.
Meaning, one should begin to live their lives (preparing mentally and plotting a way forward) as if he is never getting back together with them.
Yep, there is no guarantee that a relationship can be fixed. Because of this, learning to accept that the relationship is over, is a solid first step to take.
Regardless if it works or not, one would still be prepared and not simply left out in the cold with no clue as to what to do next.
This doesn’t mean that one has to give up pursuing reconciliation. It simply means, that there is no delusion about the fact that the odds might not be so great.
This means true acceptance and ultimately letting go if things aren’t turning around or heading in the way you wanted.
It also means that, if you realize at any point that getting back with your ex-boyfriend isn’t the right move, you stop the pursuit even when it leaves you single for a period of time.
What’s the first move?
When trying to rekindle a broken relationship, contact must be re-established at some point, so things can be built again. In the past, it was more difficult to get a hold of someone and actually get them to pay attention. Now with technology, a simple text message can go a long way to breaking down the barriers in communication.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
It’s way less intrusive, so, less chance of an outright rejection or ignore.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Towards the top of the page, there was a link to get two free PDFs, on an overall strategy and things one should not text their ex. Pretty useful to have, when trying to get back together. Both of these are a sample look at Michael Fiore’s program, “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
Alright, so, a breakup has occurred and at least for a while, the lines of communication were still open. Now, something has happened and for some reason(s), your ex-boyfriend has blocked your account on Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Instagram, or another social media platform.
What do you do now? Why did this happen? I suppose for the younger generation of lovers, getting blocked on one of these social media sites is a big deal.
As such, I’ll have to address it in this post. I’m am going to write this in a more generalized style, so that it’s applicable to all of these kinds of sites/apps and not just Facebook as a standalone issue.
Is This Actually a Huge Problem?
On this website, I don’t usually take the approach of telling people to always get back with their ex, nor do I tell them to pursue at all costs.
The reasoning behind this approach, is that, I know what an emotional state I was in after past break ups. I would have done just about anything to get one of my ex-girlfriends back, at those points in time, even when it wasn’t the best option for my life.
The emotions made me want them back much more than any logical justification, that I could come up with in my head.
This being the case, I must first put forth the question, is this actually a huge deal that you were blocked on social media?
Is this upsetting you more than it actually should? Is this an indicator that you should prepare to move forward with your life, even if there is still a chance to get back together with your ex-boyfriend?
Yes, this can absolutely hurt bad, in the short-term.
Plus, it’s difficult to imagine things getting better while you’re experiencing the breakup in the here and now. However, learning to let go is a major part of the healing process and a part of being in relationships.
Maybe, your ex-boyfriend blocking you on Facebook or Instagram, can aid in the healing process. Being bombarded by someone’s image everyday, seeing what they’re up to, and thinking about them thereafter only serves to reinforce the mental feedback loop of expectation.
Your brain expects to see them and can then cause negative emotions when that feedback doesn’t take place.
Add to the fact, that social media is ultimately not real life. People can build images and personas of themselves on there, that has no actual reflection in reality.
Seeing the images, status updates, and all of the rest of the stuff can just stir up jealousy and make things in the aftermath of the relationship worse…even make it more difficult to get back together.
What Was the Reason that He Blocked Your Facebook?
Why did he block you? It is possible that this was merely a short, over-reaction on his part. It may be a short-lived time in the penalty box, so to speak, before he reverses his decision and unblocks you.
This could have been done because he was just really mad at you about something. Or, he is having trouble dealing with the break up. Right now, maybe he doesn’t want to see anything that reminds him of you, at this time.
There is also the other possibility, that this is for the long haul. He blocked you because at this point in time, he doesn’t want you involved in his life and the new direction that he is taking it in.
There probably isn’t a way of knowing if this is a shorter-term or longer-term situation, one will have to wait it out until the picture becomes clearer.
I believe that it’s always best to prepare for the longer term situation, in which, you have to grow and learn to live your life again as an individual…and not as a part of the now broken relationship.
Things may get fixed down the line, but it’s a good idea to plan for a likely scenario, so that you’re not just floating through life being lost and with no direction.
What was the Severity of the Block?
Was it simply Facebook that he blocked you on? If it was only on that platform, that’s a good sign, that it could lean towards the him being upset side of things.
Or was this an across the board communications ban? Did it include the phone, Instagram, Whatsapp, and Snapchat?
If it was an across the board block, it’s probably going to be a while, that one will be stuck in the realm of No Contact.
If it was only on one platform, like Facebook, it is best to let things be at the moment.
Don’t overreact and push him further away by trying to bombard him with messages or by getting upset that he blocked you. Not all is lost in this scenario, as you still have lines of communication open…just lay off of the messaging for a while.
Take this time to continue to improve your emotional situation and get a clear head about things.
On the flip side, if all lines of communication have been cut off, there is nothing you can really do in the intermediate term.
You will have to take a wait and see approach, as to whether you might be able to talk with him sometime down the line. He may be really pissed or hurt by something you did.
If it was cheating, for example, then it’s to be expected that he isn’t going to be open to talking very much with you for a decent chunk of time (or maybe ever).
How should you handle getting blocked on social media? The answer is essentially, do nothing.
This doesn’t mean never do anything, just bide your time, and wait for some clarity to appear in the situation. Sometimes, this is the best prescription, as taking action might only serve to dig the hole deeper or cause him to lose even more interest if you start to chase him.
Maybe it’s best to say that you aren’t ‘doing nothing’, rather, you are giving him the space he needs to cool off and get over what’s bothering him.
So, do this:
Treat the relationship as if it is completely over
Find new hobbies, opportunities, friends, dates, etc. to help spark positive change in your life
If the lines of communication do open up eventually, reevaluate if you still even want to try to fix this relationship with your ex-boyfriend.
Understand that: the outcome of the situation is not under your complete control. He is going to do what he is going to do and you cannot force him to want to talk to you.
What you can do is play the odds, towards the best possible outcome. In the situation of getting blocked on Facebook, the best way to play the hand you’ve been dealt is to, not panic and sit pat.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
There is the ingrained belief in a lot of humans that if we simply try hard enough for something that we can make it happen.
While this kind of attitude can be a good thing, it can sometimes come back to bite us. It is this mindset that we can become stuck in that won’t let us accept certain changes in our lives and know when to call it quits.
In post-relationship terms, it can be quite a common idea that if we simply pursue our ex with the right type of vigor and strategy, we can surely get them back…
Will He Come Back to Me?
Reality can be quite different from our hopes for it. The fact is, that many relationships cannot be repaired, nor should they even be…there’s a good reason(s) why the breakup occurred.
Other times, a reconciliation is possible and happens but only for a short period of time before it goes into the gutter once again.
Usually, because nothing fundamentally changed. When the initial excitement of being together wore off, the couple will quickly be at odds once again.
And of course, there are those success stories of lovers who separated (maybe multiple times), before addressing what ailed the relationship and got back together for good.
That’s just the way life is. People change and so do their wants, desires, and circumstances. Allow yourself to feel upset or saddened by the breakup with your ex-boyfriend but not overcome by it.
Whether or not you actually do decide to pursue your ex, or indeed, get him into a relationship once again; it is a very good idea to prepare for either outcome. Either being together or still separated.
It can be caused by loneliness or the belief that he is indeed your true love (whether or not this is actually true and might even seem that way in this moment).
The ultimate question is whether or not you can you actually get your ex-boyfriend to come back to you? What would it actually entail?
To answer the question of if he might come back to you or not, you must clearly understand your situation, and what caused the separation from one another.
Did you cheat on him? Were you fighting a lot? Did you or he want different things for the relationship? Was it doomed from the start or was it mainly one thing that ruined it?
There are so many possibilities and details, relevant to your own circumstance, and it is highly important to figure out what those questions are. Plus, what the true answers are, without any self-delusional BS.
There are always specific reasons for a breakup. Even if you didn’t see it coming, there had to be some underlying cause.
Sometimes, it is simply lack of chemistry or not being the right fit, for one another…it happens and you can’t beat yourself up about it.
If you can dig to the depths and find out the truth to your situation, then it can be easier to weigh the odds or if you even really want to get back together with him.
Some relationships only had a few flaws and can be remedied. Find out what your personal mistakes or flaws were, that of the relationship, and the changes you would like to see your partner make.
Heck, for some of you reading this, you were the one who broke off the relationship. You dumped him.
Why?
What was he doing that was getting so unbearable for you?
Do you think he will change these behaviors?
If not, can you actually put up with it?
Do you even want to?
Have the Changes of Life Created Too Much Separation?
Sometimes, there are complete changes in life that a person undergoes. When this happens, it no longer makes sense for them to stay in the same relationships, or live the same lifestyles that they were accustom to.
People grow apart and may want different things for their potential futures. Your ex-boyfriend may not be in a position to commit to a long-term relationship or vice-versa.
When these circumstances arise, a relationship may have simply run its course and the two people are no longer in the same place mentally/emotionally as one another.
Some relationships don’t start out as anything more than a fling and when enough time goes by they falter because these relationships weren’t built on anything substantial.
However, because so much time was spent together, it still has a powerful emotional resonance.
Briefly, if you and your ex aren’t at a similar place currently or where you each want to be in the future, then the relationship will not work.
Attraction might have already left and that spark is gone and that will prevent a reconciliation from taking place.
Taking Consideration and Making the First Move
The first step that needs to be done in this process, is to gain the clarity about what you want. Using the ideas above, go for a period of No Contact, with your ex-boyfriend for 30-45 days and figure out what you want.
(If you’re already not in contact, then, take as much time as you need to figure things out before trying to reconcile).
During this time, not only figure out what you want for a potential reconciliation (or moving on without him), but also work on your own emotional, life, and health goals/needs.
This time apart should be about self-improvement. Getting yourself in a better place, to be a better version of you, and be a better girlfriend for him (if that’s what you end up still wanting).
There does have to be some changes that are made, otherwise, anything that comes out of the reconciliation is just going to fail later on.
Begin the process, get your mind clear, life in order, and then go for contacting him.
What’s the first move?
So, for us to re-establish contact, we need a plan and knowledge of what to do. The easiest and probably most effective way nowadays, to reach out to an ex is through text messaging.
Why? Well, it takes the pressure off of the other person in the moment. It gives them the opportunity to respond later, rather than, having to do so right away.
Also, it allows a person to craft the right message to reach out, and not have to think of some random plead, on the fly.
It’s simply not as invasive, as trying to get someone on the phone, or immediately trying to see them in person.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Toward the top of the page, there was a link to download two free PDF reports, about what not to do when trying to text and ex-boyfriend. These were written by Michael Fiore, as sort of an introduction to his Text Your Ex Back program.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
So, you went to or contacted your ex-boyfriend and begged and pleaded for him to come back into a relationship with you. Didn’t go too well, did it? The problem with this strategy of reconciliation, is that, it doesn’t solve any of the underlying issues which led to the break up and it also knocks your perceived value down a few notches…that’s not good.
Nevertheless, is it still possible to get him back after you’ve already gotten down on your knees and begged him to make it so? Yes, it is possible but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is probable. In this post, I want to explore a bit more in depth on begging for your ex-boyfriend back and how to move forward with things after this has already happened.
I Begged Him to Take Me Back: On Perceived Value
Our perceptions define and influence so many decisions in our lives everyday. Literally, every aspect is run through our perceptive instruments (sight, touch, smell, etc) and then interpreted by our brains.
This includes how we value people, places, and things. For instance, a man in a business suit is perceived more favorably in general, than the homeless man sitting on the corner in tattered rags.
The male model with hundreds of friends, fame, financial success is more highly valued (in social terms) than the nerdy guy playing WOW all day in his parent’s basement.
This carries over to relationship dynamics and desire. After the break up, one’s ex-boyfriend may already have a lowered perceived value of you, due to circumstances involved in the causes of the break up (lying, cheating, boredom, staleness, etc).
Now, this power dynamic may shift even further, if he is the one who initiated the end of the relationship. If only one party wanted the break up to happen, then that person holds all of the cards, as they at least on some level feels as if they no longer need the partnership in their lives.
So, post-breakup, our perceptions of our former partners can change drastically. If an ex-boyfriend has a lowered perceived value of his old girlfriend and she comes back begging for him to resume the relationship, is this going to help or hurt her chances?
Obviously, it will further diminish the perceived value of the woman in his eyes. He already is preparing to move forward (how much so depends on the man and situation), and so, he is in a situation where he knows that he can get his ex back at anytime.
Why is this bad? Human beings have a tendency to overlook people/things that are already familiar and easily obtained. It’s not exciting and it’s not a turn on to have someone grovel to make things go back to how they once were.
It makes one appear unattractive and as if they don’t have any other option (whether that is true or not). The perceived value has been greatly diminished. It can be further taken down by displaying these sorts of characteristics:
emotional instability
obsessiveness
being way too available
neediness
showing no signs of being able to move forward
As a man, I can tell you that, most of the fun and desire upon meeting someone new is involved in the whole ‘chase’, so to speak.
Finding a new girl who doesn’t know you at all and then building that attraction is like trying to solve a complex problem to us. This is why if prostitution were legal in most places, a lot of guys would never go see one, as the whole ‘chase’ is gone…it’s too easy and just doesn’t feel natural.
This same type of feeling occurs when a relationship has ended and the perceived value is lowered…there’s nothing new or exciting, she’s begging him, and he has all the power to say yes whenever he so desires.
Desperation is never attractive. It can’t be based on the dynamics of human relationships.
As such, unless an ex-boyfriend has some sort of sick mind, that loves watching a woman beg…it’s going to not work out well. The begging and pleading strategy is probably the most common one out there, and if it worked well, there’d be way more people reconciling than actually are.
Does This Relationship Even Need to Be Re-Started?
The sun will come out…
Now that we have a general overview of what begging does to one’s perceived value following a break up with an ex-boyfriend, we must consider whether or not a reconciliation is even worth pursuing.
This is the ‘move on’ question posited by this website. I do not believe that most relationships should even be attempted to be salvaged. Many are too damaged, not good enough fits, and the desire for reconciliation is just based on loneliness and fear of being alone.
This is why I always like to grieve the end of a relationship, regroup, reassess whether or not I want to get back together, and then no matter what the decision…prepare myself mentally/emotionally that the relationship is probably done for good.
Understand that: even if you want an ex back, it isn’t always a reality and one should always prep for the most likely scenario, especially when that’s something you might not want to come to pass.
This is the part where one must dig in, and try to strip away all emotional baggage to the best of one’s ability, in order to determine whether or not it is even worth getting back together.
We have a tendency to idealize a relationship once its over and that empty feeling we get inside, impels us to try to reconcile in hopes that it makes us feel better. It’s often not even the person or the relationship that we miss, just the positive emotional boost we got from it.
The main flaw with chasing a broken relationship, is that, even if it succeeds the fundamental issues which led to the break up are still lurking around.
Just because reconciliation happens doesn’t mean that everything is all good now. In fact, things generally tend to get worse after a brief ‘honeymoon’ period.
Ask yourself, what are the underlying problems with the relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Are they on him? Are some on you? What is the likelihood that either of you will change? Can you honestly say that getting back together is actually what you want? What will things look like a year from now, if you succeed? Better? The same? Worse?
If there are consistent doubts to the likelihood of success either getting back together or keeping it that way once you have or if it is truly what you want to happen…it is a very good idea to consider moving on from the relationship.
Yes, it hurts a lot and it’s naturally going to be tough. However, that’s a part of life and the lows we endure are what makes the highs we experience when we are with the right person worth it. Just because someone is a good fit for you doesn’t make them the right fit for you.
Can You Get Them Back After Begging?
The answer is a yes, but. Yes, it is possible to get him back BUT whether or not it is probable depends on a number of variables that are specific to your own situation.
I can’t answer the likelihood of reconciliation exactly but I can try to point in the right direction as to what must occur for things to get better.
First of all, it could be a long and arduous process, which is why moving on is probably the best option for most folks.
You may find that after a period of time apart from one another, you don’t even want him back.
I mean, if this isn’t your first relationship ever, can you think back to how you used to feel about another ex-boyfriend and compare that to how you feel now?
There have been several girls that I was absolutely wild about once upon a time who never even cross my mind at this point.
Time healed my emotional attachment, I grew as a person, and my needs and desires in a partner changed drastically. 22 year old me, has no bearing on how I feel in my current life, nor does any girl I dated back then.
We’ve already discussed perceived value and starting from a lowered perceived value is a tough climb to make. You’ve become more akin to the undesirable nerd in his eyes than the insanely attractive seductress…sorry, it’s not to be mean, this happens to all of us from time to time.
How much damage has been done depends on your own individual circumstances.
For some reading this, things might not be that bad and could feasibly be patched up. For others, it’s almost certainly the end of the relationship…again, this is something we all have to experience and learn to move through in our lives.
Also, it depends on factors such as whether or not you cheated or betrayed his trust. Factors like this are a huge drop in one’s value and reputation for a guy. For me, it’s an automatic deal breaker.
The guy’s life and circumstances also play into the possibility of getting back together. If he is the type to have no problem getting other women, then moving on from this relationship will be much easier.
A guy without options, might have a tendency to want to get back with a girl he’s already had a relationship with…which actually can lower his perceived value.
Raise Your Value and Change Your Behavior
Obviously, if damage has been done to how attractive one is in another’s eyes, then to have a shot of getting back with them, that trend must be reversed.
In order to do that, you must consider the factors of what makes a woman attractive to a man, and enhance them on all fronts. Again, this is something that can take a great deal of time and STILL FAIL when improved upon.
Now, we should consider:
behavior
physical
social
Dealing with a guy who already knows you, he already knows the good and bad, and expects certain patterns from you based on experience. This makes it even harder to change the perception of value.
The behavior patterns that must change are the one’s I listed before…the begging, obsessiveness, neediness, jealousy, etc. All of these behaviors make people look really bad and aren’t seductive or attractive in the least.
This is yet another reason I suggest preparing to move on because when you emotionally move forward all these behaviors tend to fall away by themselves which naturally makes you more attractive.
Besides the desperate and irritating variety of behavior there are also the better types of behaviors like trying to genuinely be happy and supportive of an ex-boyfriend, even if there is no shot of getting together again. This isn’t sour grapes. This is actually loving someone and not merely being possessive of them and then calling it ‘love’.
Behavior also includes making changes in your life for the better such as: going back to school, new job, traveling, breaking out of a stale routine, etc.
Don’t do it just to do it but it can be a great idea after a relationship to begin to explore new things and take on new challenges.
It can also be very attractive, as there is no desperation present. The focus is on you and creating a wonderful life and not on him and trying to hold on to the past.
Physically, alterations can take place like getting yourself into fantastic shape or switching up to a better personal style. Physical changes are most noticeable at first and can be quite a shock…if they’re for the better! Not just some weird look the reeks of being desperate for attention.
Finally, there is the social aspect. Being desired by others will get people’s attention who otherwise might no longer have any interest.
Think about it, if your ex was surrounded by a bunch of other women, wouldn’t that make you want him more on some level?
Of course. It’s natural supply and demand. The same reason you can slap a designer logo on a plain t-shirt and charge $50+, the perception of value is much higher, even if there is nothing inherently different about it.
I tend to try to date other women after a break up because it naturally reminds me that their are other options out there for me and it helps me move forward. That’s what I suggest doing it for.
It can also, however, make you seem more attractive to an ex because if other people want to date you or even just be your friends, it can make someone second guess and think that they might have missed something special about you.
Remember that men like to chase, if he has no reason to pursue you, he isn’t going to. Ultimately, the dynamic must be flipped so that you are the one who is desired and not the one who is begging and pleading. This is why it’s such a tough nut to crack.
No Contact After Begging to Get Him Back?
Obviously, the one aspect that definitely needs to be changed in this scenario, is the begging.
The best way to accomplish this, is by going no contact for a period of time, usually a month or two will suffice.
If you’re not talking to him, you’re no longer pushing him away or turning him off, with the pleading to reconcile. Instead, you are taking the time to work on yourself, and get better as a person regardless of whether the relationship is saved or not.
The No Contact Rule is used to calm the emotional turmoil, give one another space, and clarity about what the future should be like. Not desperately trying to rekindle the past, but to create something that will be better in the future.
Also, time can help to erase some of the desperation that lingers over you, in his mind. I remember a long time ago, begging one of my ex-girlfriends, and her having no interest. Then, I went hard no contact (I actually decided to move on with my life), and a few months later she reached out to me.
It was as if she had no memory, of my former desperation to get her back. Time had robbed it of all importance. The images that people have in their minds about you, aren’t always fixed, and the negative can be forgotten when compared to the good.
Remember that, the no contact period is as much about you, as it is about not bothering him. In conjunction with not texting or calling or trying to see him, you are, improving yourself and attempting to make things good enough for him to want to come back.
Once this time period is over with and you feel as though, you have made progress on your goals, then contact can be re-established. From there, it might be a slower build to feel out, whether or not he’d be open to seeing you. If so, then perhaps a date can occur, or at least some sort of meeting to clear the air.
What’s the first move?
After No Contact, contact needs to be re-started, in order to try and start a new relationship out of the ashes of the old. Back in the day, this may have meant having to call someone, and risk getting hung up on or a super awkward conversation.
Nowadays, thanks to widespread technology, text messaging can serve as a more gentle approach. Think about it, if a man gets a call out of the blue, he may not be in the mood right then to talk.
With texts, he can not want to talk at that moment, but may have a change of heart later on. There is no real pressure to respond, but it is a low bar to step over, and takes less than a minute to do so.
This is great. We want to make it as easy as possible, for the other person to respond, and give them the time to full consider re-opening communication. Beyond that, text messaging gives you the time to craft the right message, and get across your intentions without any potential emotional baggage or interference.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, which explain some things that you absolutely shouldn’t do when texting your ex-boyfriend. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice.
He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance. It’s great because you can get started right away, try out the methods, and get your money back if you’re not satisfied.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
As a straight male, I’ve never actually had to get my ex-boyfriend back from another girl (full disclosure :p). However, as a man I feel that I can offer a different perspective on the end of your relationship and whether or not you can start anew with him, even if he has a new girlfriend.
Now, just to be upfront about things, for many women reading this: your relationship is most likely over for good and you should move on with your life. I know that sucks to hear in the middle of emotional turmoil but it’s not the end of the world, it’s simply a change that needs to be dealt with.
Anyhow, let us get started and delve a little bit further into this topic.
My Ex has a New Girlfriend and I Want Him Back
The First Thing I Ask You to Consider
The first and most paramount step that I recommend that anyone take before pursuing getting back together with their ex is to truly analyze things and figure out if that is truly what you want. You might be thinking, Of course that’s what I want, that’s how I ended up on this website!
Believe me, I completely understand the raw emotion and hurt that comes along with a breakup or seeing your significant other with someone else. It feels terrible and it isn’t a very pleasant experience, however, it is one which we almost all will have to face in life.
Emotion obviously clouds good judgment. Most people won’t react to everyday problems with nearly the same intensity as that of a break up and this is entirely based on the amount of emotions and attachment that is involved.
This is why a long period of no contact is so important after a relationship ends because it allows both parties to have space apart and avoid the strong emotional triggers. Plus, with time emotional attachments tend to weaken.
With that being said, while you’re in an emotional state of mind, you will of course feel like you want your ex-boyfriend back even if a rational assessment of the situation would reveal that it is best just to forget about him.
After all, the relationship ended for a reason (probably multiple reasons), which means that it fundamentally had some problems.
What were those problems? Would getting back together solve them? Can they be solved? The relationship would be different than it had been before, will there be lingering resentments, is the spark gone, would this even work long-term?
See…these are the types of things that need to be thought through before even considering getting back into a relationship with that person.
Take off the rose colored glasses and look at the relationship as it was and not as an idealized version of itself. Look at your flaws as well as his flaws and take your time, with as few emotions interfering as possible…take your time, as this step is very important.
This is an assessment into your life and what you want going forward. Not just about who you date, but what you want to do in your career, or even how you want to spend the next immediate few months.
Is he actually worth it? Does he fit actually fit into your vision for the future or is it habit and loneliness, that has you chasing him? People often figure out after some time apart from their exes, that they’ve grown as a person, and no longer need that same relationship.
It’s happened to me, multiple times. For months, I’d feel like I wanted to get one of my ex-girlfriends back. Then, with time, I would realize that they weren’t a good fit for me and my future. Maybe they were great for the old version of me, but with where I wanted to go and who I was becoming, they no longer meshed.
A Quick Insight into the Mindset of Men (In general, specific circumstances may vary)
Despite some insinuations to the contrary, men and women are different. That is, our thoughts and natural desires in terms of the male and female interaction (mating, dating, whatever you want to call it), are not the same nor is our approach. I
t’s sometimes said that men are not capable of love…this is not true at all, in fact, we can fall ‘in love’ very quickly with a woman who piques our interest. This is often a detriment for many guys who:
Fall in love with a girl first and then she loses interest
Guys who are inexperienced or don’t have options, in terms of women to choose from
This becomes a problem in our dating life, because we meet women who are only a pretty good fit for us. Then, we don’t have any other girls around to offset those emotions, that this ‘pretty good match’ stirs up in us.
We can end up ‘catching feelings’ and find ourselves in a bad relationship. All of this, stems from our lack of experience with relationship dynamics, and our abilities to handle complex emotions….it’s not our skill set.
A man’s attraction skill set (the one he’s supposed to develop) is all based on the short-term. We, for the most part, don’t go out looking for relationships but end up finding ourselves in one later and wondering what happened?
This skill set we’ve had to develop in our life, consists of how we walk, talk, act, dress, look, speak to you, what we do for a living, our values, social standing, etc. All of these are variables which go into attracting women to us and getting them to want to have sex with us. I can hear the accusatory voices rising:
See, all men want is sex?
Well, to paraphrase the great comedian Patrice O’Neal…sex is all I want, if that’s all you’ve got!
Our skill set, is how we build our lives in totality. Everything that we are and can demonstrate, are short-term tools to attract many women to us. It’s completely short-term and gets us lots of options to choose from when done well.
Women, in the short-term, don’t need to have this skill set in order to attract guys. The fact that you look attractive, attracts us…we don’t particularly care too much about all the other qualities about you at first. It’s just that one superficial aspect (again this is a generalization, obviously specific circumstances may vary).
What this means though, is that women’s true attractive skill set, becomes a factor later in the relationship. For a woman to keep us in a long-term relationship, she has to be better than our other options.
A man usually wants to get with (at least on biological/sexual level), pretty much any attractive girl that crosses his path….it really is like that for us and has been for most of our lives. Our inclination is to have multiple women around.
However, the right woman with that long-term attractive skill set can make us stay around and stay faithful, if she’s that good. Note: some guys, again, simply have no options…it takes nothing for a girl to keep them around because they’re desperate, which only serves to make them even more unattractive to women. So a girl being better than his options, means nothing if he has no options.
Yes, but what does this all mean?
I wanted to bring all of this up because I need to explain a bit of what our mindset is after we are broken up from our girlfriends. Again, this is dependent on the man’s skill set (his ability to attract women).
Guys who can attract women easily, will go out and do so post-breakup, while guys who cannot are usually the one’s who sit around and pine over their ex for many months or years. Let us focus on the guys who can attract women and what happens post-breakup.
After guys get out of a relationship, it is just as bad as it is for women. In fact, I think that it can be worse for us initially because it usually catches us unprepared.
For some period of time after that, we are sad about things and tend to miss our ex a lot, as the post-breakup period can be like coming off of an addiction. We get so used to having someone around, who is so very close to us. Someone who we’ve spent a lot of time with, that a void develops in our existence after a relationship ends.
How long that period goes on depends on the guy, the length of the relationship, the intensity, etc. However, when that time period of feeling bad has passed, we begin the process of moving on.
For us, a part of moving on generally means getting more girls in our lives. Sometimes, we go on a spree, and have 5+ girls on call whenever we want to see them to ‘help’ to forget about our ex.
After months, this circle of girls can be reduced down to one girl. This one girl is most likely the ‘new girlfriend’ that your ex is currently seeing.
Now, the key thing to recognize is that, this relationship may or may not mean anything. Sometimes, it just helps to have some kind of relationship to help you get through the loneliness, even if it doesn’t end up being serious.
In other cases, he might end up with a woman, that he already knew prior to the breakup. In this case, she was his best option available, and he went with it.
This can often be a rebound relationship, as if we can get a woman easily to help distract from the post-breakup emotions, we will. It may be serious, but I’d say, it is more unlikely to be all that serious.
How Can You Tell if It’s Serious?
The main indicators of a serious relationship for a guy are the length of time involved and whether or not he is showing interest in other girls (including you).
If it has also been several months that he and his new girlfriend have been together, then, odds are it is probably pretty serious. Which means for you, that reconciliation most likely isn’t going to happen (in the immediate term), and you need to begin the process of letting them go (even if there’s still a chance, prepare for the most likely outcome).
Another sign to look for is, how long after the break up, did he get involved with this new woman? There are other variables to consider, but generally, if he gets into another relationship within a month or so…it’s probably not that serious. It can be, but it is most likely just a rebound relationship.
A guy being in a rebound relationship, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Once the immediate excitement of being with someone new wears off, comparisons set in, and we see how she stacks up versus other women we dated. If she is a step back in his mind from what you provided, that rebound relationship, will in all likelihood be on the way out.
make dem changes
How Can I Make Him Miss Me, if He Has a New Girlfriend?
A lot of times, it will boil down to simply being the better option. This of course assumes, that there is still a part of him, who would be open to reconciliation.
For some, that won’t be the case, as some guys do simply decide to move on for good. They’ve decided and won’t change their minds.
However, for most folks, they don’t treat things as being 100% over. After all, think of how many people, get together and then break up with their exes…time and time again.
If it still is a possibility, you have to ask yourself, what he is coming back for? If the relationship broke, as it was constructed, why would the same thing interest him?
What are the improvements which can be made? How would you make yourself the best option for him to date? Is that work even worth it to you, to attempt to get him back?
What To Do Post-Breakup
No Contact and Self-Improvement
I would follow the same steps post-breakup whether I wanted to pursue my ex or not. Regardless, of outcome I would go no contact with them for at least a month before even attempting to do anything.
In the rest of my life, I would work on improving myself in a multitude of ways: appearance, health, get new hobbies, financially, meet new people, learn new things, work on my emotional health, fix my flaws that contributed to the end of the relationship, and whatever else I needed to work on.
Remember, he has to see you as better than his options, in order to want to be with you. Unless you had a complete falling out with one another, you probably still have a ton of currency with him and a place in his heart…working on improving you, increases your odds (but still guarantees nothing).
The reason for this is to fall back and regroup emotionally. It is also to give your ex-boyfriend space with his new girlfriend and not see you as being desperate by constantly calling him or texting him.
Things Tend to Fall Apart
If the relationship he is in, with the new woman, isn’t serious, it’ll fall apart eventually.
There’s nothing you need to do, as nature will simply take its course. Meeting someone new, can be very exciting at first. Then, reality sets in, and that person you thought was great…reveals themselves to be a total dud.
This can happen from either side. He might get bored with the new girl and/or she might get bored of him. The ‘newness’ of the relationship, wears off, and suddenly there are arguments or just a general lack of enthusiasm towards things.
Again, this happens on its own, without you trying to make it so. It may take some time to work itself out this way, but when someone has moved on to another person, you cannot expect a quick fix. It may turn out that way, but don’t count on it.
Don’t Interject Yourself in His New Relationship
Don’t ever take shots or be jealous towards his new girlfriend, as that is a huge turnoff for guys and will make him resent you and will NOT make him want to take you back.
I know it can be difficult to control the urge to speak to him or to compare yourself to the new girl, but you have to keep things calm and those wild emotions in check. These sorts of outbursts and attacks DO NOT HELP AT ALL.
They harm your odds by making you appear petty, desperate, and unattractive. All bad things, when you want to catch a man’s attention, in a positive way.
Yes, the first step to take is to ‘forget’ about him and his new chick for the time being and focus completely on yourself and your well-being.
You don’t have to forget about him in actuality just don’t contact him, don’t accept his calls or respond to his texts, if you see him in person be brief and cordial and don’t beg for him to come back.
This period of time needs to be about you and healing yourself so that you can decide rationally what you want for your future. At the end of it, you might very well realize that he isn’t in your future plans and you can feel good about your decision to move on from that relationship.
Once that period of no contact is over you can make the decision to want to try and get him back….
What’s the first move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
The friend zone usually comes about before there is any relationship to be had. One party has feelings for the other person but that person, doesn’t have any romantic or sexual interest towards the first.
Sometimes, after a break up happens a guy may put his ex-girlfriend in the friend zone or state that he ‘just wants to be friends’ now.
How such a situation actually turns out, depends on your feelings towards the current state of things between you. Also if, one’s ex-boyfriend actually wants to be friends with you, or is trying to spare your feelings.
In this post, I want to get into what it means when an ex wants to be friends and if there is a clear path to get out of the friend zone and back into a romantic place.
We Should Just Be Friends
So, you and this guy have had a chat or phone conversation in which he told you all about how you two are just ‘friends’ now. Awesome, what’s that mean exactly?
Now, in such a scenario, there is a good chance that you accepted these terms…even if in your mind you really didn’t want or mean it.
On your side, you still want him back as a boyfriend and are only open to a friendship, because that seems like the only route to your end goal. Let’s be clear and honest about the situation, you are still attracted to and have romantic feelings towards this guy.
There isn’t a pure and unspoiled friendship vibe going on here. You can still care about him, but the friendship aspect of this relationship, is only a part of the puzzle.
From his side, he is bringing up being friends so that he can either let you down without hurting your feelings too bad.
Perhaps, he wants to keep you around in case he changes his mind. Or, he even wants to set up another type of arrangement with you.
Being stuck in the friend zone means that you will be giving away your time and attention in exchange for something you don’t actually want (the illusion of true friendship).
However, in the case that you do wish to move on, date other guys, and genuinely try to have a friendship with an ex…by all means, go for it.
But, any residual attraction or emotional baggage is going to make this a difficult proposition. You cannot really ever be ‘just friends’ with this level of emotional/sexual attachment, as it just creates conflict.
People will often try to place both sides and just end up in an even worse space. They pretend to be friends with the ex, but still want to make moves on them.
They may also, try to really have a friendship, when the ex really didn’t mean what they said, about being ‘just friends’.
Folks need to pick a lane. Yes, long-term, communication can continue between exes. However, trying to hang out with someone that you have feelings with still, just ends up with a lot of heartache and hopes being dashed.
Is it possible to get out of the friend zone and get back together with an ex? Yes, it is. Is it easy or usually a short process? Nope.
Before trying to recover from the friend zone, one should consider, if being together with this guy is something that is actually wanted. Many times we feel like we want to get back together, when in reality, it’s just left over emotions clouding our judgment.
When we reflect on our thoughts and feelings, we can come to the conclusion, that we are really just trying to fill in the emptiness that we feel. We don’t actually want to restart the relationship, we’re just dealing with really powerful emotions.
If you are hellbent on getting out of the friend zone and trying to get back together with this guy, however, just know that while it can be done, it is never a guarantee to work.
Ask yourself if you really want to spend time chasing something that may never be and even if it comes to fruition, it won’t be the same as it once was.
Luckily, this decision doesn’t have to be made on the spot, as the best path to follow whether moving on from or trying to get out of the friend zone with your ex-boyfriend is the same…at least initially.
No Contact
If getting out of the friend zone is the plan, why would somebody want to get dragged deeper into it? How can one get out of the friend zone, if they have to constantly be involved in ‘friendly’, non-romantic activities with the other person?
Being just friends, sets up certain behavioral barriers, that makes it difficult to cross and truly turn things to being ‘romantic’ again.
I’ve already discussed the No Contact Rule in length, here. As such, I’m not going to delve into it in this article. However, I will say that you will need to go roughly a month of no contact, so that you can even begin to start crawling out of the friend zone.
No, he won’t forget about you, unless you truly are forgettable. Besides, the relationship has already ended, so it’s already been lost.
Any new relationship, is just that, new. Meaning, it basically starts from scratch, and the situation has to be rebuilt on the ashes of the old relationship.
If he contacts you, just be cordial, and friendly. But don’t make yourself always available. Actually have other things to do and focus on, besides an ex-boyfriend, who may not want anything to do with you moving forward.
What to Do During No Contact?
This time period should be about a hyper focus on one’s self and not the other person. This is a time period to decompress from the break up and really figure out what you want from your life moving forward. Time away helps to get one’s mind away from the other person and bring more clarity.
Anything that can be done to better yourself or your life circumstances should be the focus here. That can include: working on physical health, mental health, job related opportunities, and even dating. Now, getting involved in a serious relationship probably isn’t a great idea, given the situation but seeing what’s out there might be beneficial.
What’s the next move?
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Here is what some of Text Your Ex Back’s users had to say about their success with the program:
“Not only did this program change my relationship with what i feel is the most incredible and unique girl i have met so far in my life, but you actually helped me change my life for the better. Ever thought this could be a life changing event for someone? Not to mention how inexpensive and how user friendly the program is, no amount of money or words could express how truly grateful i am for what you have done for me as a man. And for that i would just like to say…Thank You!”- Matthew R.
“My ex was almost begging me to take him back” I love your program ! It’s so much worth it !! My ex came to me yesterday and was almost begging me to take him back !!! Just as you said it !! Thank you Michael !!!
“Hi Mike. Good program. The 30 days of no contact was crucial – helped work through myself, thoughts and feelings and work on my physical side – mind body and spirit. The “I like myself” exercise is extremely insightful as it reminds ourselves of who we are. My ex and I are giving at another go – small steps but all great journeys start with small steps. Talk was the game opener – being in our 50’s we did more talking face to face than texting but adapted some of the principles in this program. Thanks for helping me find myself first so I could have the opportunity to find my ex.”- Paul
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
When you have spent lots of time apart from your now, ex-boyfriend, there can be a flood of emotions that you feel which stirs a series of thoughts and questions in your mind. One of the most common questions is, “Does my ex still love me?”
Of course, it is difficult to generalize answers to this question, as each person’s situation is a wholly unique one. However, there are some signs which tend to indicate someone’s feelings towards you, though, these tendencies are not always accurate.
In this post, we will go over some of the most common indicators, that an ex is still in to you and may want to get back together.
Did They Make First Contact?
If there has been a period of no contact between the two of you and your ex-boyfriend is the one who breaks the ice, this could be a sign that he still has feelings for you. At least it indicates, that he still thinks about you.
Now, is this a guarantee that he still loves you? No, it isn’t. Did he have a valid reason to contact you? Such as, if the two of you have children and he needs to know when to pick them up.
Or for instance, he had something urgent or specific to talk to you about, which wasn’t related to the former relationship. In those types of cases, his reasons for reaching out might have no emotional significance behind them, he just needed information or something from you.
Another possibility, is that, he is simply feeling very lonely after the break up and while he might no longer be in love with you…he might want you around because you are familiar and make him feel better.
This doesn’t mean that he still loves you, he just might still have a strong attachment to you because of your history together. People do still care, want to satisfy an emotional void, etc. However, that isn’t necessarily still being ‘in love’ with their ex-girlfriend.
Consider the context and how your ex is speaking to you. Them making first contact is not by itself a total indication that he still has deep feelings about you, but, it is a potential symptom.
Communication Continues Regularly After the First Contact
Contacting you once may be an outlier, but if your ex-boyfriend continuously contacts you, then it should catch your attention.
If he continuously texts or calls you, without an pretext to do so, then he is definitely thinking about you a lot and may still have feelings for you.
Notice that, I didn’t say that it means he loves you. Again, this could be a symptom of his loneliness, fear of change, or maybe he just wants to hookup with you, without the strings attached.
If it is at this stage, then you need to consider what you actually want. Don’t get suckered back into a relationship, just because you have no other options or your emotions make you feel like you miss him, at the moment.
When your emotions are in turmoil, it is a really bad time to start making long-term decisions. However, you still need to think about whether you truly want to make it work or just move forward with your life.
He Checks Up On You a Lot
This can include very passive things such as, liking your posts and pictures, and generally just snooping around to see what you are doing with yourself after the break up.
This also could be his jealousy rearing its ugly head, he might not love you, but he might not want to see you with another guy either. Also, he may still do this if he has a new girlfriend.
His relationship may be genuine or he may just be trying to fill the void after your split, but if he is keeping tabs on you…you’re on his mind.
This sort of checking up, can come both in the positive and negative forms. It could be encouragement or it could be him detracting from some aspect of your life.
Generally, when people don’t care at all, they don’t tend to make themselves noticed to the person they don’t care about. Others, pretend not to care and say that they don’t, but always make a point to be around or comment.
Romantic or Sexual Interest
Yes, sometimes hooking up, after the demise of a relationship is just a one or a few times thing. It can get murky, in the post-breakup period, because it is unclear whether sex is just a physical thing or if there still is that loving component.
If this is taking place and the ex, is bringing up possibilities of reconciliation, he may still be holding that romantic flame for you.
He may also do things to spark jealousy, like bringing up other women that he’s dating, etc.
This category can, again, be a bit difficult to decipher because of the nature of sex. People can get caught up in the moment, say things that they don’t truly mean, and the like.
Nonetheless, him still being available for sex, could be a sign of still being in love…or at least liking you a whole lot.
His Conversations Have a Purpose
Some guys, will text you here and there, but it can be totally meaningless. Other guys, may keep trying to steer the conversation towards your former relationship or getting back together.
These are of course, quite large signs that he may still have strong feelings. This goes beyond keeping tabs on you and your life. This can include asking lots of questions, about any new guys you may be dating, or he talks a lot about the past and mistakes that were made.
Someone who is over you, doesn’t tend to do that, and lots of people seem to drunk text their feelings to their exes as well.
Relationships change after a break up and people can go their separate ways and when they do get back together, it just isn’t the same and it really doesn’t work out.
Once you solve these personal questions and are secure enough to move on with or without him, you can plan your next move.
Some relationships just sort of peter out. Others, are quite amicable, and both parties go their separate ways without much issue. Then…there are those that are long, drag em’ out affairs, where the former pair are simply furious with one another.
These bad break ups, can take quite a toll on one emotionally, but if you still wanted to get back with your ex-boyfriend, is there actually a chance of it happening? Or is it simply too late?
In this post, I want to explore a bit of the post-break up world, when the split is particularly nasty. Plus, what could be done to potentially win him back.
Is It Too Late?
So, there is never a 100% accurate way of determining whether or not a broken relationship can be salvaged.
When dealing with human beings, there is always the variables of how they feel and how they personally react when facing certain situations.
Some people, have a hard time moving on, while others are really efficient at cutting people out of their lives. In other words, once they’re done, they’re done for good.
The best that one can do is to try and determine the odds of getting back together based on the circumstances of the end of the relationship and general trends among people. As such, the more brutal or nasty that a break up was, often the worse the odds are for getting back together.
That being said, it will depend on the other person’s mindset and what they want from their lives moving forward.
There are certain factors that are obvious when trying to determine if it is still salvageable, such as:
Who initiated the break up? If you dumped him, the odds are better (generally speaking)
Was cheating or some other serious betrayal involved? If so, it gets a lot more difficult to rebuild any level of trust.
Is there still communication (even if it isn’t always pleasant)?
Time since break up.
What were the underlying causes of the split?
What were the reasons for it being a particular bad breakup? What was said or done?
Those are just a sampling of things that could contribute to the overall odds that are coming into play here. Again, it’s never perfect to determine if things will be successful, but we can certainly gauge the potential.
Is it ever really too late? In a sense, no. BUT it doesn’t mean that the situation cannot be extremely dire in terms of the odds of a reconciliation.
Plus, super long periods of time (think over a year), tend to not be such a great help to reconciliation. People tend to be in a different spot in their lives and mind sets. That being said, it sometimes works out, because both partners tend to cool off and realize they’re better with each other.
Do You Really Want Him Back?
Now, I know the impulsive answer to the above question is, “Yes, of course I do!”.
However, the post break up time period can be really tricky to know exactly what we want. Emotions are running high, and there is a replay in our minds, of what went right and what went wrong with the relationship. This can play on an endless loop, after a split.
With all of these feelings and thoughts stirred up, it gets really murky as to what the correct path is sometimes. This is especially true when a relationship ends badly.
I mean, if both parties cordially agreed upon the break up, it can be easy to deal with the aftermath. BUT, when things get nasty, what comes next is often a confusing whirlwind.
What I’m saying is, don’t just go into this process asking yourself, if you can get him back. Also, consider the outcome of if you do get him back.
Would things be better beyond just the immediate relief of the negative emotions that come after a break up? What would actually change in this new version of the relationship versus the previous one that ended so poorly?
This is where to old saying, be careful what you wish for, is applicable. You might just get him back and then what? Where is it going? What do you actually want from a relationship? Can the relationship with him actually supply that?
If not, what are you expecting a renewed relationship to provide? Or are you just making decisions based on your current emotions and might choose a different path, once your mind has cleared a bit?
There can also be way too many underlying issues, for a relationship to be viable in the long-term. Things get said or done, which can breed resentment, even after both have agreed to ‘move past it’.
We can too often want to satisfy our feelings in the here and now. In doing so, we are essentially borrowing from the future. Pushing off further emotional pain or a bad relationship, just to not feel bad now.
Really take the time to figure this part out, if you haven’t already done so. This isn’t a rash decision to be made on a whim, you can take the time and choose what the best course of action to take in your life is.
Get Yourself Together
If the break up was recent (within 2 months or so), there probably should still be a period of time in which you just allow yourself to heal. Again, emotions are still going crazy at this point, and the physical and psychological effects associated with a break up are real and quite raw.
During this period where you will be away from one another, take the time to focus on yourself and figure out what direction you want to take your life in, if that’s something you need to take care of.
Even little things, like working out and socializing can have real immediate benefits to how this time period goes. Begin to explore new things or consider if you want to take your life in an entirely new direction.
There is always the possibility that the relationship is done for good. It sucks, but it does happen to just about everybody. Times change and people change. That doesn’t mean, however, that we should just give up on ourselves and lament that things will never ‘get better’. Hogwash.
If you’ve been begging or pleading, with the ex, and haven’t gotten a response; consider doing a 30 day No Contact period. Reevaluate things, come up with a plan, if you’re still wanting to pursue getting back together, and let the anger or resentment he has cool down some.
Obviously, in order to attempt to re-start a relationship, contact has to be reestablished with your ex. With all of the technology we have at our disposal today, perhaps, text messaging is the most logical choice to reach out to an ex once again.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Hopefully, you took the opportunity to download the two free reports towards the top of the post, that help to lay out some of the dos and don’ts of texting your ex. Both of which were written by Mr. Fiore as an introduction to his “Text Your Ex Back”.
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
One great thing about the program, is that it is emailed to you, so that you can get started right away. Try it and see if it works out for you, like it has for so many others.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee:
Texting has pretty much revolutionized communication over the past decade or so. Along with it, both positive and negative aspects of this transformation in technology. No longer do you have to rely on playing phone tag to get a hold of someone in order to talk to them.
On the flip side, it can also make it easier to ignore or simply choose not to reply to someone, like an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. So, she can now see that we’ve texted, hit her up on Facebook Messenger, What’s App; and not get back to us at all. In essence, leaving us wondering why?
So, exactly why may an ex be choosing to ignore the person that they just broke up with or were dumped by? Well, in this post I want to explore some of the more common reasons that an ex-boyfriend may not be replying to texts that you send to them post-breakup.
There may be more specific reasons, to your individual situation, but I can only lay out the most universal causes.
Why is He Ignoring and Not Responding to my Texts?
It’s Become Irritating
One of the main reasons, that people will stop replying to text messages, is due to over-texting by the other person. At some point, a guy will get tired of having to rehash the same old fights, or have his ex-girlfriend begging him to take her back.
Frankly, it’s not a good look. Texting too much becomes pathetic and unattractive to the person, even when you think that it is helping your case to get them back (hint: it isn’t helping).
More is not necessarily always better and can often have the opposite effect of what you intended.
Instead of looking forward to a text message from you, he will actually be repulsed, and driven away from feeling like ever responding.
Desperation is unattractive and by texting all the time or just too much, one can easily come off as desperate, thus less attractive in their ex’s eyes.
However, it is actually a really common thing. After a break up, we tend to be really panicky and desperate. We think that if we can just explain ourselves, we can ‘fix’ the broken relationship.
Thus, we over-text, when we feel that it’s not really going our way. We try to get them to just understand, but instead, the ex will be pushed away. It’s counterintuitive to what we think, but chasing them and pleading, really isn’t an effective strategy.
He’s Really Mad
Emotions are usually running pretty high, during the post-breakup period, and sometimes that main emotion is anger. This situation can vary in how long it lasts, because we are dealing with emotions, and not everyone has the same patterns.
There are times in which, all it takes is a short break from one another, in order for their emotional outbursts to subside. However, there are situations like when a girl cheated on her ex-boyfriend that the resentment can last for much longer.
This can be a very tough situation to extricate themselves from. The deeper the emotional scars, the harder it’ll be to get him back, willing to talk.
An ex-boyfriend being mad at you, usually isn’t that big of a deal. As it mostly involves, waiting on them to wear themselves out with being angry at you; before they’re willing to talk again.
Though, as I said, it can be more serious depending on your individual circumstances. You know what happened in your relationship and the ensuing break up.
Was he really angry at you? Has he become angry with you, after you did or said something, post-breakup?
He’s Moving On or Trying To
An ex cutting off communication may be the result of them trying to move on with their lives on their own terms without the baggage of the old relationship.
This can mean that they want to strike out on their own and be single for a while or it can mean that they are seeing other women or one specifically.
While it isn’t an easy experience to get through, we all must come face to face with this at some point in our dating lives. We should ultimately accept, that time and circumstances change, how things once were between two people.
There comes a time when we must learn to let go and deal with our emotional fallout from the breakup. This doesn’t mean necessarily that a broken relationship cannot be repaired eventually, but that we have to prepare ourselves for life on our own, regardless of the outcome.
Sometimes, people just need to go out on their own for a while. They go out and date and try new things. But, what many people often find, is that the grass isn’t always greener. Then, they start to remember what they had fondly, which can play to our advantage of reconciling things.
Where’s the Challenge?
make dem changes
This is sort of related to the point about becoming annoying by texting him too much. If you’re in constant communication or chase mode with an ex-boyfriend, where is the challenge to him at getting you back in his life?
If you’re always available to him, is he going to see you as a high value woman, who has lots of things going for her? Or is he going to become even less attracted to you due to his familiarity with you and the fact that he knows he can have you back at any time?
There are times when the fun, is in the chase itself. Something or someone that is widely available, has less value in people’s eyes, than something that is more scarce and sought after.
Begging is not attractive. Treating him like his some elevated being, is not attractive. Having respect for yourself, as a woman, is attractive.
What’s there to draw him back to? There is such a thing, as playing hard to get. Now, some people go crazy with it, and make it near impossible to get. Nonetheless, it’s still a good idea to not always make yourself so available.
What Can You Do when the Ex-Boyfriend Won’t Reply?
The strategy should be fairly simple. Trying to text him now, obviously isn’t working. We now have some possible reasons why and you can think about one’s that are specific to your situation.
The first step, should be to cease the texts, for the time being. Go No Contact for 30 days, at least. I wouldn’t go more than two months, before reaching out again.
During this time, do some work on yourself. Get your emotions and mind, in a good place, before deciding what to do next. You want to be utterly certain that you want to try to get back together with him.
You need to make sure that you’re not just in a bad emotional spot, currently. That you do indeed, actually want to get back together with him.
If reconciliation is the path that you want to try, then, you will re-contact him after a No Contact Period.
What’s the first move?
Obviously, when it is time to re-contact the ex, there’s going to have to be a good way to do it. We’ve already been talking about texting, in this post, and that’s one of the most effective ways to reach out.
He won’t respond right now, but hopefully with some time apart, he will have a change of mind.
Think about it:
They don’t have to agree to meet you face to face right away.
That message can sit on their phone until they are ready to respond. More time equals a greater chance.
You can craft the right message to them, with no time limit. No need to think on your feet, for ‘the perfect thing to say’.
It’s a private and personal way of communication.
Here is relationship expert Michael Fiore. explaining texts as a form of communication for relationships:
Text Your Ex Back is a full mp3 audio and ebook program which has helped thousands of people reignite things with their exes by following Michael Fiore’s advice. He has been on a number of shows including Rachel Ray’s to discuss his methods for romance.
Once purchased, it is emailed directly to you. There’s no waiting around for a physical delivery, so you can get started right away. Michael lays out a full strategy of how to re-attract an ex, step by step, through text messaging. From the first text, to keeping it going, to setting up a meeting with them.
If you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, please click the image below to watch a free video and try “Text Your Ex Back” with a full 60 day money back guarantee: